1941’s THE MALTESE FALCON may not be the first film noir (most people agree that honor goes to 1940’s STRANGER ON THE THIRD FLOOR ). It’s not even the first version of Dashiell Hammett’s 1930 detective story – there was a Pre Code film with Ricardo Cortez as Sam Spade that’s pretty good, and a 1936 remake titled SATAN MET A LADY with Warren William that’s not. But first-time director John Huston’s seminal shamus tale (Huston also wrote the amazingly intricate screenplay) virtually created many of the tropes that have become so familiar to fans of this dark stylistic genre:
THE HARD-BOILED DETECTIVE – Private investigators had been around since the dawn of cinema, from Sherlock Holmes to Philo Vance to Charlie Chan, but none quite like Humphrey Bogart’s Sam Spade. Both Cortez and William played the character as flippant skirt-chasers, but in Bogie’s hands, Sam Spade is a harder…
So, who wants to spend 80 minutes watching two people slowly die?
That’s the question that’s posed by the 2003 film, Open Water. Apparently, quite a few people had a positive response to that question because Open Water, which was made for about $120,000, went on to gross over 55 million dollars. It also inspired two sequels and it continues to be something of a mainstay on the SyFy channel, where it usually airs during Shark Week.
I have to admit that, largely because I have a huge phobia about drowning, I didn’t see Open Water until three years after it was initially released. I watched it with my cousin Paulie. At the end of the film, he exclaimed, “Oh, nice fucking movie, Lisa Marie!,” and I understand where he was coming from. There’s not much hope or positivity to be found in Open Water. It’s not a happy film. Instead, it’s a movie about a couple who end up getting stranded in the middle of the ocean. Eventually, one of them gets eaten by sharks while the other one drowns.
That may sound like a spoiler but really, it’s not. From the minute we first see Daniel (Daniel Travis) and Susan (Blanchard Ryan), we know there’s no way they’re getting out of the movie alive. They’re both so happy about taking a vacation and finally getting to spend some quality time together that it’s obvious that there’s no way things aren’t going to end in tragedy. Their vacation takes them to the Caribbean, where they hope to go scuba diving. Unfortunately, their scuba diving group leaves without realizing that Daniel and Susan are still underwater. When the two of them resurface, they discover that they’re stranded out in the middle of the ocean.
At first, they assume that someone will notice them missing and come back to rescue them. They make jokes about how this is a story that they’ll be able to tell for the rest of their lives. They laugh. They joke. They briefly argue. Daniel gets frustrated and spends a while screaming with splashing water. Eventually, the jelly fish arrive and they both get stung. Then. the sharks show up….
It’s all very dark and depressing and the film certainly did not help me with my fear of swimming. Imagine Jaws if the whole film was just an hour and a half of Chrissie Watkins getting eaten by the Great White and you kind of have an idea of what Open Water was like. As a result of the film’s low-budget, Open Water has an effectively rough, documentary-like feel to it. Daniel Travis and Blanchard Ryan seem like any ordinary couple that you might run into while on vacation. They’re easy enough to relate to that you certainly don’t want to see them die.
Unfortunately, after Daniel and Susan get stranded out in the ocean, the film gets stranded along with them. At that point, all you can do is watch as they two of them get eaten by undersea life. It gets a bit tedious. One imagines that Werner Herzog could probably make this material compelling and, whenever I watch Open Water, I like to imagine the sound of Herzog saying, “I believe the common denominator of the universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility, and murder.” However, as it is, Open Water is one of those well-made films that leave you with no desire to ever watch it again.
Sorry, everyone! I’m running a bit behind today (or is it tonight? Daylight Savings Time makes everything confusing!) so I don’t really have much prepared to say about this video, beyond the fact that I like it and I like the song. That I like both shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise. In general, I like anything that involves Daft Punk.
Since it’s currently Spring Break, I figured that I would spend the next two weeks reviewing films about people on vacation. Some of the films will be about good vacations. Some of the films will be about bad vacations. But, in the end, they’ll all be about celebrating those moments that make us yearn for the chance to get away from it all.
Take Midnight Express, for instance. This 1978 film (which was nominated for six Oscars and won two) tells the story of what happens when a carefree college student named Billy Hayes decides to spend his holiday in Turkey.
When the film begins, Billy Hayes (played by Brad Davis), is at an airport in Turkey. He’s preparing to return home to the United States. His girlfriend, Susan (Irene Miracle), informs him that Janis Joplin has just died. When Billy responds by making a joke, Susan accuses him of not taking anything seriously. What Susan doesn’t realize is that Billy actually has a lot on his mind. For one thing, he’s got several bricks of hashish taped around his waist. He purchased it from a cab driver and he’s planning on selling it to his friends back in the United States. Unfortunately, Billy’s not quite as clever as he thinks he is. Because of recent terrorist bombings, the Turkish police are searching everyone before they board their plane. Billy finds himself standing out in the middle of the runway with his hands up in the air, surrounded by gun-wielding Turkish policemen.
Billy finds himself stranded in a country that he doesn’t understand, being interrogated by men whose language he cannot speak. An enigmatic American (Bo Hopkins) shows up and assures Billy that he’ll be safe, as long as he identifies the taxi driver who sold him to the drugs. Billy does so but then makes the mistake of trying to flee from the police. In the end, it’s the American who captures him and, holding a gun to Billy’s head, tells him not to make another move.
Soon, Billy is an inmate at Sağmalcılar Prison. He’s beaten when he first arrives and it’s only days later that he’s able to walk and think clearly. He befriends some of the other prisoners, including a heroin addict named Max (John Hurt) and an idiot named Jimmy (Randy Quaid). Billy watches as the prisoners are tortured by the fearsome head guard (Paul L. Smith) and listens to the screams of inmates being raped behind closed doors. After being told that his original four-year sentence has been lengthened to a 30-year sentence, Billy starts to degenerate. When Susan visits, Billy end up pathetically masturbating in front of her. When another prisoner taunts Billy, Billy bites out the man’s tongue, an act that we see in both close up and slow motion. If Billy has any hope of regaining his humanity, he has to escape. He has to catch what Jimmy calls the “midnight express…..”
Midnight Express is a brutal and rather crude film. Though it may have been directed by a mainstream director (Alan Parker) and written by a future Oscar-winner (Oliver Stone), Midnight Express is a pure grindhouse film at heart. There’s not a subtle moment to be found in the film. The camera lingers over every act of sadism while Giorgio Moroder’s synth-based score pulsates in the background. When Billy grows more and more feral and brutal in his behavior, it’s hard not to be reminded of Lon Chaney, Jr. turning into The Wolf Man. The film may be incredibly heavy-handed but it’s nightmarishly effective, playing out with the intensity of a fever dream.
As for the cast, Brad Davis wasn’t particularly likable or sympathetic as Billy. On the one hand, he’s a victim of an unjust system, betrayed by his own country and tortured by another. On the other hand, Billy was an idiot who apparently thought no one would notice all that hash wrapped around his chest. That said, Davis’s unlikable screen presence actually worked to the film’s advantage. If you actually liked Billy, the film would be unbearable to watch. Before Davis was cast, Dennis Quaid and Mark Hamill were both considered for the role. If either of those actors has been cast, Midnight Express would be too intense and disturbing to watch. For instance, it would be depressing to watch Dennis Quaid rip a man’s tongue out of his mouth. You would be like, “No, Mr. Quaid, you’ll never recover your humanity!” But when Brad Davis does it, you’re just like, “Eh. It was bound to happen sometime.”
For more effective are John Hurt and Bo Hopkins. Hurt and Hopkins both have small roles but they both make a big impression, if just because they’re the only two characters in the film who aren’t either yelling or crying all of the time. While everyone else is constantly cursing their imprisonment, Hurt is quietly sardonic. As for Hopkins, we’re supposed to dislike him because he’s with the CIA and he sold out Billy. But honestly, no one made Billy tape all that hash to his chest. Finally, you’ve got Randy Quaid and Paul L. Smith, who both glower their way through the film. Smith is wonderfully evil while Randy Quaid is …. well, he’s Randy Quaid, the loudest American in Turkey.
Midnight Express was such a success at the box office that it caused an international incident. There’s not a single positive Turkish character to be found in the entire film and it’s impossible not to feel that the film is not only condemning Turkey’s drug policies but that it’s also condemning the entire country as well. The Turkish prisoners are portrayed as being just as bad as the guards and even Billy’s defense attorney comes across as being greedy and untrustworthy. Watching the film today can be an awkward experience. It’s undeniably effective but it’s impossible not to cringe at the way anyone who isn’t from the west is portrayed. In recent years, everyone from director Alan Parker to screenwriter Oliver Stone to the real-life Billy Hayes has apologized for the way that the Turkish people were portrayed in the film.
Despite the controversy, Midnight Express was a huge box office success and it was nominated for best picture. It lost to another controversial film about people imprisoned in Asia, The Deer Hunter.
For some, this week is the start of Spring Break! For those wondering how to spend their break, the pulps have a few suggestions. As the covers below show, a week on the beach doesn’t just mean binge drinking and partying. It also means excitement, mystery, romance, and maybe even a hurricane!
Unfortunately, the official video for this song keeps getting yanked off of YouTube. I assume that’s due to the fact that the video features like 4 seconds of nudity and God knows, we can’t have that on the internet.
Anyway, since that video keeps getting yanked, here’s another video of Jake Bugg performing There’s A Beast and We All Feed It. This performance comes from the 2014 Reading Festival and it features Jake at his best. As for the song …. well, it’s an attack on all of us. And you know what? We probably deserve it.
I swear, I don’t know if I was just in a down mood or if last week really was as bad as I thought it was but I feel like I’ve aged a year over the previous seven days. For Lent, I gave up excessive negativity so I’m not going to dwell on it. Instead, I’m just going to happily say that the week is over and a new one is about to begin!
Actually, now that I think about it, all the blame can probably be put on Daylight Savings Time. Giving up an hour of your life is never easy. On the plus side, for the first time since last November, the clock in my office is now correct.
If you’ve seen enough Lifetime films, you know that it’s never a good idea to move to the suburbs.
I mean, sure. Inevitably, you’ll end up living in a big house. And you’ll have all the closet space in the world. And your neighbors will all be really sexy and witty and they’ll always invite you over to have a glass of wine and gossip about everyone’s deep, dark secrets. I mean, it sounds like a great idea but things never work out as well as they should.
For example, just check out the latest Lifetime movie, Suburban Swingers Club.
Everything you need to know about the film is right there in the title. It takes place in the suburbs. There’s a club. And they’re all swingers. And when I say swingers, I mean they’re real swingers. They’re not like Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally in those annoying Sling commercials. No, these are people who get together and toss their house keys into a punch bowl. Each night, keys are randomly drawn and neighbors go upstairs together. Of course, only the really wealthy and attractive neighbors get to take part. For instance, there’s this old guy who is occasionally seen standing out in his front yard. He never gets invited.
As soon as Lori (Dana Davis) and Grant (Jesse Ruda) move into the neighborhood, they’re invited to join the club. Grant is immediately intrigued while Lori is immediately weirded out by the whole idea. In fact, Lori thinks that Grant might just be looking for an excuse to have an affair. Their marriage has been rocky ever since the death of their baby. However, then Lori catches sight of the neighbor across the road, doing manly stuff without his shirt on. In fact, Noah (James William O’Halloran) doesn’t even seem to own a shirt! Lori eventually tells Grant that they can swing as long as 1) they’re totally honest about it, 2) they think about each other while having sex with other people, and 3) they stop doing it as soon as one of them objects. Grant’s like, “That’s a lot of rules but as long as I get laid, I’m happy.”
However, it doesn’t take long until Grant’s no longer happy. Lori ends up pulling Noah’s key and soon Grant is getting jealous. Grant says that he’s exercising his right to say “stop.” Lori explains the situation to Noah and Noah is like, “Well, no one told me about any rules!” Soon, Noah is stalking Lori and Grant is threatening to kill him. Of course, when Noah turns up dead, Grant automatically becomes the number one suspect….
Unfortunately, this film doesn’t feature quite as much swinging as I was expecting. It doesn’t take long for Grant to get jealous and exercise his “stop” option and after that, the film becomes a fairly typical Lifetime stalking film. But no matter. I still enjoyed Suburban Swingers Club, if just because the film didn’t waste anytime plunging into its story of suburban melodrama. This is one of those films where your new neighbors come over, take one look at you, and then invite you to join a swinger’s club. Lori can’t even look out of her bedroom window without seeing two people having sex across the street and, once morning comes, it’s time for Noah to start casually walking around outside without his shirt on. Suburban Swingers Club is like the Lifetime version of one of those wonderfully campy 60s sexploitation films where bored housewives seduce the pool cleaner and the whole thing is written, directed, and acted with just enough self-awareness to let us know that the film is cheerfully aware of its excesses. It’s a lot of fun, as any swinging club should be. Joe Sarno would be proud.