Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #7: Island of Grace (dir by John Lansing)


(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR!  It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet.  So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR!  She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th!  Will she make it?  Keep checking the site to find out!)

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I recorded Island of Grace off of channel 58 on November 14th.  Though I didn’t realize it at the time, Channel 58 is apparently the “all-faith” channel down here in Dallas.  They only show faith-based and inspirational programming.  In other words, they show the type of movies that I always dare Val to watch and review.  (Case in point: The Encounter.)

And I’ll admit that I was tempted to try to convince Val to watch and review Island of Grace, because I’m sure she would probably find ways to dissect this film in ways that I hadn’t even considered.  However, in the end, I decided to take on the responsibility myself.  After all, it’s my DVR that’s being cleaned out here.  Besides, I’m currently trying to get Val addicted to an old 90s sitcom called Hang Time so maybe I shouldn’t push my luck.

Anyway, let’s talk about Island of Grace!

Island of Grace is the story of three co-workers.  They work for a company and I have to admit that I’m not really sure what exactly that company specialized in.  However, the company did have a very nice conference room, one that looked a lot better than the conference room from Birdemic.

Megan (Jaycee Lynn) was raised in the church and still goes to church but she doesn’t want to admit it to anyone.  She’s too busy going to parties, having fun, and looking guilty in private.  When she’s given the opportunity to go on a business trip to a beach resort, she nearly forgets to pack her extremely modest bikini.  Luckily, her friend reminds her.  To make room for her bikini, Megan tosses her bible out of her suitcase.  And, as soon as you see that bible get tossed to the side, you know something bad is about to happen…

Then there’s Chris (Samuel Potts).  Chris has a huge crush on Megan.  Apparently, Megan is the one who introduced him to church and now Chris basically won’t shut up about it.  Even when Megan is visiting with her secular friends, Chris insists on dropping by her office and asking her if she’s going to church.  Chris is painfully nice and, as a result, everyone walks all over him.  Chris never complains.  We’re obviously supposed to feel that he and Megan are meant for each other but, honestly, I can understand why Megan isn’t interested in pursuing a romance with him.  There’s nothing dangerous or mysterious about Chris.  Chris is way too nice.  He also has a self-righteous streak but I got the feeling that we weren’t supposed to notice or care.

Instead, Megan is more interesting in Mark (Matthew Davis).  Mark works hard and he plays hard.  He’s ambitious and he’s quickly moving up in the company.  However, he also has no interest in church and, as a result, he becomes the film’s designated villain.  We’re supposed to look at Mark and go, “Girl, he’s no good for you!”  But the thing is — Mark is sexy.  Mark is dangerous.  Mark is confident.  Mark doesn’t let everyone walk all over him.  Mark may be a jerk and he may have a girlfriend but I don’t blame Megan for being attracted to him.

Anyway, Megan, Chris, and Mark are flying to that business meeting when their airplane crashes and they end up stranded on a desert island.  What’s odd is that none of them seem to be all that upset over the fact that they’re trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere.  Me, I would be freaking out and I would probably be looking out for the Smoke Monster, the Man in Black, Jacob, and all the other bad things that lived on the island in Lost.  Instead, Mark says that someone will come for them and then takes off his shirt and takes a dip in the ocean.  Chris gets annoyed with Megan watching Mark and says a prayer or two.  And Megan … well, Megan sharpens a stick and tries to catch fish.  She never catches any and, every time she throws that stick out into the ocean, you can hear the movie Gods shouting, “This is what you get for choosing a 1950s style bikini over your bible!”

While Chris searches for food and works on a shelter, Megan and Mark flirt.  Eventually, they kiss.  Megan falls in love, despite the fact that Mark has a girlfriend.  Even after Chris announces that he loves her, Megan continues to pine for Mark.

Until, of course, they’re rescued.  Back at the office, Mark not only ignores Megan but he takes credit for everything that Chris did on the island.  Chris humbly accepts that life isn’t fair and finally, Megan realizes her mistake.  After glancing at the bible that she so casually tossed to the side, she meets Chris on the beach and realizes that she does love him!

So, I guess the message here is that, if you get stranded on an island, make sure there’s a Christian around because agnostics don’t know how to survive in the wilderness and constantly take credit for everyone else’s hard work.

I did think that the story actually did have some potential.  Mark, Chris, and Megan each represented three differing attitudes towards life and the film’s storyline provided an opportunity to actually explore those different worldviews, in much the way that the first season of Lost used the conflicts between Jack, Locke, and Sawyer to explore issues of faith, destiny, and morality.  But ultimately, Island of Grace was too heavy-handed to be effective as anything other than propaganda.  (And it’s debatable whether or not the film even works as propaganda because, even after they returned to civilization, lying and cheating Mark still seemed like he would be a lot more fun to hang out with than Chris.)  Jaycee Lynn did a pretty good job as Megan but otherwise, Island of Grace was forgettable.

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Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #6: Who Killed My Husband? (dir by David Winning)


(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR!  It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet.  So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR!  She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Thanksgiving, November 24th!  Will she make it?  Keep checking the site to find out!)

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I recorded Who Killed My Husband off of the Lifetime Movie Network on October 16th.

Who Killed My Husband opens with Detective Douglas Howell (Jim Thorburn) on top of the world!  He’s recently married a fellow detective, Sophie (Andrea Bowen).  He’s got a teenage daughter named Chloe (Yasmeene Ball) and Chloe may have extremely severe asthma and she may be having a hard time adjusting to her new stepmother but everything’s going to be okay, right?  After all, it’s her birthday!  All Doug has to do is drive out to the local bakery and pick up her birthday cake!

Doug’s life is so perfect that I’m surprised that he doesn’t have a personalized license plates that read, “Live4Eva.”  Because, seriously, when everything’s going this perfect, there’s no way that some sudden tragedy could occur, right?

Well, if that was the case, there wouldn’t be many Lifetime movies.  And, just because of this movie’s title, we already know what’s going to happen to Doug before he even steps into that bakery…

Doug picks up his cake but then he notices that a mysterious man in a hoodie is loitering inside the bakery.  “Hey,” Doug says, “this place is closed.”  (That’s not an exact quote and no, I’m not going to rewatch the damn film just to get the exact quote.  It’s close enough.)  The man turns around, draws a gun, and shoots Doug!

TRAGEDY!

Anyway, Sophie spends a while on desk duty but eventually, her brother — who also happens to be her boss — gives her an undercover assignment.  Apparently, someone is embezzling money from the local cybertech company.  Sophie’s given a job at the company and she’s also given an office!  Fortunately, everyone who works at the company is always having incriminating conversations right outside her office.  That should make it easy to solve the case.  Except…

That’s right, there’s a twist!  First off, the owner of the company is mysteriously blown up and his wife doesn’t seem to care.  Sophie finds herself attracted to a coworker but wonders if she can trust him.  Then, when she’s climbing a wall as a part of team-building exercise, she nearly plunges to her death!  There’s more than just embezzlement going on at this company and somehow, it’s related to her husband’s death.

Does that sound complicated?  It really isn’t.  This is pretty much a typical Lifetime film and you’ll be able to guess who the bad guy is pretty easily.  Probably the most interesting thing about the mystery subplot is that it gives us a chance to view Lifetime’s version of what it’s like to work for Google.  You thought that the companies portrayed in Silicon Valley were cut throat?  Just check out Who Killed My Husband!

I did, however, like the film’s other subplot.  After her father’s death, Chloe resents her mother and Sophie struggles to connect with her stepdaughter.  Chloe is taken seriously ill during the investigation and Sophie has to balance solving the mystery with taking care of her daughter.  That was sweet.  I have asthma and I was a rebellious teenager so I related to Chloe.

Otherwise, this was pretty much a typical and kind of forgettable little Lifetime film.  If you enjoy Lifetime films, this is a pleasant little time waster.  If you’re not into Lifetime movies, Who Killed My Husband probably won’t change your mind.

Pre Code Confidential #8: Barbara Stanwyck in BABY FACE (Warner Brothers 1933)


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Barbara Stanwyck uses sex as a weapon and screws her way to the top in BABY FACE, an outrageously blatant Pre-Coder that had the censors heads spinning back in 1933. Miss Stanwyck plays Lily Powers, a young woman who works in her Pop’s speakeasy in smog-filled Erie, PA, where Pop’s been pimping her out since she was 14. Lily has a black female friend named Chico who seems to be more than just a friend (though it’s never stated, the implication’s definitely there). All the men paw over her like dogs with a piece of raw meat except the elderly Mr. Cragg, who gives her a book by Fredrich Nietzche along with some advice: “You have power… you don’t realize your potentialities… you must use men, not let them use you… exploit yourself, use men! Be strong, defiant!”.

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When Pop’s still blows to smithereens, taking Pop with it, Lily and…

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Music Video of the Day: Starving by Hailee Steinfeld, Grey ft. Zedd (2016, dir. Darren Craig)


I first have to address two things about the title of this post. I guess when they put up collaborations, then they simply insert a comma. That isn’t confusing at all. It is made worse by the fact that this is another one of these songs “featuring” another artist. It would make so much more sense to the viewer if they just put the artists involved in a list separated by ampersands with the primary one listed first. I know it has to do with stuff going on in the background between the record companies, but it doesn’t help the person watching the music video.

This is the third music video I’ve looked at so far from 2016. I’m already sensing a pattern when it comes to recent female artists. It’s nice to know that the influence of Bonnie Tyler’s music videos is still alive 30+ years later even if it has been filtered and diluted through so many other artists. At least it’s her music videos that I think of when I see a female artist singing about sexuality in a video like this one.

I know nothing about any of the three artists involved, but regardless, was it too much to ask to have this be a remake of Faster Than The Speed Of Night? I wanna see the members of Grey in armor on motorcycles while dueling with javelins, Zedd in a speedo whipping a guitar around himself, and cutaways to Steinfeld singing. Just a group of topless male dancers in a warehouse showing up while I wonder if I really should be watching a 19 year-old doing and singing those things just doesn’t cut it. At the very least they could have had supernatural cowboys in black with neon fire-whips come after her till this person she once tasted shows up to rescue her from blending into the background. I miss 80’s music videos already.

I can’t say I am happy that trying to look sexy is being equated with maturity in this and Side By Side by Ariana Grande. I understand that they are both at that age and that it’s nothing really new, but it undercuts the music, which is unfortunate. Then again, there isn’t much music here to undercut. I may not like Grande’s music now, but she seems like she has untapped potential.

I hate to say it, but the Music Video Sins episode on this one pretty much nailed it. I’m glad I watched it. I had no idea those random cutaways to the guys waiting to give Hailee a ride home were the members of Grey. I was also unaware that there were five writers on this song, yet this is what they came up with for Steinfeld to sing. Also, if you didn’t know you were starving till you “tasted” someone, then why are they showing you blending into the background? That kind of clashes with the coming-of-age message.

At the end of the day, this is harmless and instantly forgettable. If you told me this was a number done on Dancing With The Stars that was adapted into a music video shot on a shoestring budget, then I would believe you.

Darren Craig appears to be a relatively new director whereas Director X and Hannah Lux Davis have been doing this for awhile.

I have three more to go. I hope they get better.

6 from 2016:

  1. Music Video of the Day: Work From Home by Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign (2016, dir. Director X)
  2. Music Video of the Day: Side To Side by Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj (2016, dir. Hannah Lux Davis)