Jedadiah Leland’s Adventures In The Internet Archive


I have just returned from exploring the Internet Archive.  The Archive, which is also the home of the Wayback Machine, is a non-profit online library with millions of free books, movies, software, music, and websites.  In particular, I have always been interested in their collection of old MS-DOS games and that is what I was looking at tonight.  While I could have played Oregon Trail or maybe one of the many Leisure Suit Larry games available, I instead decided to check out four lesser known games.

The first game I played was Hidden Agenda (1988, Trans Fiction Systems, Inc.)

Hidden Agenda

Hidden Agenda is a strategy game.  You have just taken over as the president of a South American country and you have to decide how you are going to rule.  Are you going to be a corrupt dictator or an idealistic reformer?

I played the game twice.  The first time I played, I filled my cabinet with right-wingers, pardoned the leader of the former dictator’s death squad, and sanctioned the murder of a labor leader.  The second time I played, I filled my cabinet with communists, jailed the leader of the death squad, and gave into every demand.  Both times, my government was overthrown after a year and I was executed in my office.

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Hidden Agenda has a learning curve that I have yet to master but it was still an interesting game.  Some players will probably find it to be too dry but I appreciated that the game attempted to take a realistic approach to the trials and tribulations of leading a post-revolutionary society.

After getting executed for the second time, I decided to play a safer political simulation, President Elect (1987, Strategic Simulations, Inc.).

1988

A perfect game for political junkies, President Elect allows you to manage a presidential campaign.  You can either take part in a historical campaign, like Kennedy vs. Nixon in 1960, or you can create your own candidates by answering questions about their positions and their abilities as a campaigner.  You get to decide everything your candidate does, from what states he visits to whether or not he agrees to a debate.

I decided to run a simulation based on the current election.  Since the game does not include any candidates beyond 1988, I created versions of Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Gary Johnson.  I did my best to be fair and unbiased while determining their strengths and weaknesses as campaigners.  For instance, I gave Hillary a low public speaking rating while rating her highly for her poise under pressure.  I gave Trump a low score for poise under pressure but a high score for his ability to get and hold an audience’s attention.  I then entered in the current economic conditions.

For 9 game weeks, I managed Gary Johnson’s campaign and got nowhere.  I did not have as much money as Trump or Clinton, which meant I could not afford to campaign as extensively as they could, and I watched as my national support got smaller and smaller with each passing week.  On election night, it was clear who was going to win.

I don’t want to panic anyone but here’s the final result of the simulation:

president elect

After watching Donald Trump win every state in the union (though he did lose the District of Columbia), I decided to give Kingmaker (1994, TM Games) a try.

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Kingmaker opens with none other than William Shakespeare explaining the history behind the War of the Roses.

Kingmaker 1

In Kingmaker, you are one of the claimants battling to become the king of England.  After Shakespeare’s introduction, you are given a series of options regarding how difficult you want your game to be.  This was my favorite:

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Advanced plague?  This was going to be fun!

Unfortunately, then the game started:

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I spent a few minutes moving the arrow over England and clicking.  Nothing happened.  I clicked on the boxes at the bottom of the screen.  Nothing happened.  I clicked on the names over on the right side of the screen.  Nothing happened.

I had run into the biggest potential problem with playing the games in the Internet Archive: none of the games come with their original instruction manual.  Kingmaker looked like it could have been fun and I usually enjoy strategy games but I got frustrated trying to figure out how it worked.  Perhaps if I can find a copy of the game’s manual, I will try to play it again.

Once it became clear that I was never going to figure out how to play Kingmaker, I decided to try Executive Suite (1982, Armonk Corporation).

Executive Suite

Executive Suite is a largely text-based game in which you attempt to go from an entry-level job to being president of the Mighty Microcomputer Corporation.

Executie Suite 2

The game starts with the receptionist, Angie, asking if your resume is on file or if you need to go through the interview process.  Angie is so helpful!  I bet MMC is going to be a great place to work!

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Since I did not have a resume on file, I decided to submit to the interview process.

The interview started normally enough.

Executive Suite 4

The interviewer then asked me what part of the country I was from.   I selected the northeast.

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The questions continued.  The interviewer asked me where I went to college.  He asked me if I had an advanced degree.  He asked me what I majored in.  I selected Girls.  (That was an option.)

Then he asked me this:

Executive Suite 6

I am sure that question violated some sort of law but I must have given the right answer because he then told me this:

Executive Suite 7

Finally, I was allowed to apply for a job.

Executive Suite 8

Once I was finally hired, I was presented with my first big decision:

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Of course I’m going to go drinking with the boys!  What could possibly go wrong?

Executive Suite 10

That worked out well!  This Bucky Carter seems to be a great guy.  I wonder what other ideas he has.

Executive Suite 11

Another chance to bond with the boys?  Forget studying, let’s get down at the local house of ill-repute!

Executive Suite 12

I made a mistake but I’m new here and it was just my first day.  Surely, this will not still be held against me after I’ve been with the company for a year.

Executive Suite 13

This doesn’t look good.

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An envelope?  Maybe I’m getting a promotion!

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That’s not good.

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It does not look like I am going to be the president of the Mighty Microcomputer Corporation any time soon.   I’m not giving up though.  I will definitely be playing Executive Suite again!

In fact, there are still many games in the archive that I am going check out.  In fact, I just spotted something called Sex Olympics. 

I shall return.

Music Video of the Day: Rio by Duran Duran (1982, dir. Russell Mulcahy)


Would you believe that until a week or so ago I didn’t know we had an Olympics coming up? I only realized it because the Diet Coke cans I pulled out of the fridge had changed and had the rings on them. This is seriously my life. So is trying to figure out how to talk about a Russell Mulcahy masterpiece that everyone has seen.

I’m going to go ahead and call it now. Russell Mulcahy is the father of the music video. They existed before he started making them sure. There were films going back to at least the 1940s that were essentially music videos hung on a clothesline plot. I’m watching this music video over and over while I write this, and I have yet to see a single shot that isn’t perfectly done. The angles, the use of iris shots, split screens, the incredible use of color, and everything I’m seeing in every frame is perfect. The music video even goes into black and white widescreen as if you have suddenly stepped into The Longest Day (1962). I love the two guys playing the sax–Nick Rhodes and John Taylor–who are paired via a split-screen. There’s also the part where we think he is going to slip on a banana peel, but he misses it only to be hit by a giant bowling ball. I can only imagine being alive in 1982, turning on MTV, and seeing this. This was probably the first exposure most people had to a truly well-made short film that happened to be built around a song. It certainly would have been for a child who was lucky enough to have cable in 1982. My first exposure was Hungry Like The Wolf, but that’s another Duran Duran/Russell Mulcahy collaboration we’ll get to eventually.

This is one of those music videos where we know more than just the director. Jackie Adams produced this music video. She seems to have worked with Mulcahy on a total of five music videos, and made an appearance in Mama by Spice Girls. Those music videos range from something surreal like Billy Joel’s Pressure that starts off with a version of The Parallax View (1974) training montage to something simple like Only The Lonely by The Motels. By the way, what the heck is it with Billy Joel music videos being some of the most interesting and well-made ones that never get enough attention? Just saying that I’m looking at Pressure right now, and it is amazing.

But back in Rio, we have to mention the band itself because Duran Duran are more than just a band that stood around and played their song in this music video. This is an embodiment of their music and style. As I’m sure you all know by now, Duran Duran are a group of guys from the UK who came over to the US bringing style over substance synthpop with very well-crafted songs. We mentioned synthpop when we spoke about Ministry. I contend that we had style over substance with Duran Duran. We then made it substantive with Depeche Mode, but it was still quite radio friendly, and hadn’t shed the legacy of groups like Duran Duran. Then we had Ministry forced to try and be like them, but then had them turn to something very much on the fringes before evolving synthpop into industrial metal. Ultimately, we had groups like Nine Inch Nails who came along and broadened it into an almost orchestral sound with industrial rock. At least that’s my excuse for the next four music videos I intend to feature after this one.

Sit back and enjoy this classic music video directed by one of the best in the business with all the style and 80s dripping off your screen while a wonderful Duran Duran song plays.

An Olympic Review: The Cutting Edge (dir by Paul Michael Glaser)


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Hi everyone!

So, I just watched the Opening Ceremonies of the 2016 Summer Olympics!  And I have to say that I really enjoyed them but then again, I always enjoy the Olympics and not just the gymnastic stuff that everyone loves.  It’s odd because I’m really not into sports at all.  I guess I just like the idea behind the Olympics.  I like the idea of people from all nations gathered together in one country, linked together in the spirit of fair competition and, most importantly, not killing each other.

Plus, I can’t help but love the spectacle of it all!

I figured that, for the duration of the games, I would attempt to post one Olympic-themed film a day.  Now, I have to admit that this is one of those things that seemed easier when I was thinking about it then it does now that I’m actually trying to do it.  But we’ll see what happens!

Originally, I was going to limit myself to films about the Summer Olympics but then I realized that, by doing that, I wouldn’t be able to write about the 1992 film, The Cutting Edge!  And that would be a shame because I really like The Cutting Edge!

The Cutting Edge tells a story that is both thoroughly predictable and yet thoroughly charming at the same time.  Doug Dorsey (D.B. Sweeney) is a likable and kinda dorky blue collar guy who also happens to be one of the best hockey players in the world.  Kate Moseley (Moira Kelly) is a world-class figure skater who has been totally spoiled by her father (Terry O’Quinn) and whose imperious attitude has managed to alienate every partner that she’s ever had.

At the 1988 Olympics, Doug and Kate run into each other.  Literally, they collide with each other in the arena.  Doug is apologetic.  Kate snaps at him to watch where he’s going.  Later, Doug is injured in a game and is forced to retire from hockey.  Meanwhile, Kate’s latest partner deliberately drops her during their program and Kate is forced to settle for a silver medal.

Two years pass.  Doug is working at a steel mill when he’s approached by a Russian coach named Anton Pamchenko (Roy Dotrice).  Anton explains that Kate needs yet another new partner.  Desperate to return to the Olympics, Doug agrees to skate with her.

And things go about the way you would expect.  At first, Kate hates Doug.  But slowly, Doug starts to win her over and Kate starts to lower her defenses and warm up to him.  Kate teaches Doug how to be a champion figure skater.  Doug teaches Kate how to be nice.  Soon, they’re in love but unfortunately, Kate already has a boyfriend — a lawyer named Stuffy Q. McBorington (Dwier Brown).

(Actually, he might not be a lawyer.  And his name isn’t Stuffy Q. McBorington.  But it might as well be!)

Convincing Kate to leave her boyfriend is actually the easy part.  The hard part is going to be winning the gold!  Doug still has some rough edges and Kate can still be demanding but they love each other and we all know that love conquers all!

The Cutting Edge is one of those movies that used to be on cable all the time when I was growing up and I always loved watching it!  I wanted a boyfriend like Doug and I wanted to wear cute costumes like Kate and I wanted to win a gold medal.

Yes, it’s a totally predictable movie.  Not a single moment or line will surprise you.  But it’s such a likable movie!  Sweeney and Kelly have a really sweet chemistry and the skating action is well-directed and what more can you ask for a romantic comedy about ice skating?

I rewatched The Cutting Edge earlier today.

I still love it!

Enjoy the Olympics, everyone!

 

Music Video of the Day: Here I Go Again by Whitesnake (1987, dir. Marty Callner)


Happy Birthday, Tawny Kitaen! You took what would have been a high-spirited, but quickly forgettable “put the band onstage and focus on the lead singer” video, and made it one of the most memorable music videos of the decade.

She didn’t have to do much either. The bits in the car are probably the least focused on, but I have always loved the part when she grabs lead singer David Coverdale and rips him over the front seat. I really love that because she doesn’t do it easily either. She grabs him and yanks him right over the seat. You can even see her reach to grab his leg to get him completely into the backseat just before it cuts away.

Lisa being our resident lover of dance, of course loves the hood dancing part. Who doesn’t? I remember last year when someone tweeted a screenshot of it and said something about her being their second biggest crush in the 1980s. I don’t recall if they even included her Twitter handle, but she responded asking basically: “My God! Who was #1?”

Thank you, Tawny Kitaen. Not only for the video, but insuring that no one would forget what is a really good song. A song that could have been forgotten if they hadn’t made this version, and only stuck with the 1982 music video. All it took was adding dancing a little on two car hoods, hanging out a car window, and ripping Coverdale over a carseat. We’ll talk about the 1982 version next month because Kitaen and Coverdale were kind enough to have birthdays in August and September respectively.

Why I Love THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (Warner Brothers 1938)


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Readers of this blog know CASABLANCA is my all-time favorite movie, but THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD is definitely in the Top Ten, maybe even Top Five (I’d have to think about it… sounds like a future post!). The story’s been told on-screen dozens of times, from the silent 1922 Douglas Fairbanks swashbuckler to Disney’s 1973 animated version to the recent Russell Crowe/Ridley Scott offering. But it’s this 1938  classic that remains definitive, thanks to a marvelous cast, breathtaking Technicolor, and the greatest cinematic swordfight in history.

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You all know the legend of Robin Hood by now, so no need for a recap. Instead, I’ll go right into what makes this film so great, starting with Errol Flynn as the brave Sir Robin of Locksley. Flynn was at the peak of his career here, after starring in such action-packed hits as CAPTAIN BLOOD   , THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT…

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Music Video of the Day: Epic by Faith No More (1990, dir. Ralph Ziman)


I will keep the history lesson to a minimum. From the late 80s to the very early 90s was a weird time. The 80s were already priming themselves to be destroyed, but for a brief period we got incredibly dated stuff like this music video. Lisa loves to call certain films time capsules of an era that is no longer with us. That is this video in a nutshell. The song certainly lives up to its’ title. It is one of those underdog music videos that would sometimes make it on top lists back in the day and sometimes not. The same thing happened with the music video for Godley & Creme’s Cry.

This is one of those music videos that stirred up controversy too. It’s the fish at the end that flaps around out of water. Nothing major like the letter writing campaign that pushed Metallica’s One into late night or the one that stopped The Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up from playing anytime.

I love this song and music video. For whatever reason, I lump it together with Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. Since the 2000s, I also lump it together with the music video for Get Free by The Vines.

The music video was directed by Ralph Ziman who seems to have stuck with relatively obscure songs. Some big names like Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne, but past their prime.