Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 1.13 “Another Song For Christmas”

Posted on December 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

It’s time for a Christmas episode!

Episode 1.13 “Another Song For Christmas”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 19th, 1984)

Oh, that Fast Eddie!

Played by the familiar character actor Geoffrey Lewis, Fast Eddie is a wealthy used car salesman. He knows how to turn on the charm. He knows how to close the sale. Fast Eddie may have grown up poor but now he’s rich and he’s determined to not sacrifice one cent. It’s the day before Christmas but Fast Eddie has no problem refusing to give money to charity. He has no problem ripping off an elderly couple looking for an affordable car. He has no problem firing Dave Ratchett (Jeff Doucette) when Dave refuses to roll back a car’s mileage. Fast Eddie doesn’t care that Dave’s son is sick and Fast Eddie certainly doesn’t care that it’s Christmas Eve. He even orders his butler (Ivor Barry) to work on Christmas Day.

Jonathan and Mark stop by Fast Eddie’s car lot but they don’t buy a car. They just observe Fast Eddie at work. After they leave, Mark watches as Jonathan has a brief conversation with Santa Claus (Don Beddoe). It turns out that, like Fast Eddie, Mark doesn’t really have the Christmas spirit. Jonathan suggests that Mark should re-read A Christmas Carol. Mark starts to read it but falls asleep after the first page.

Meanwhile, at his mansion, Fast Eddie also falls asleep but is soon awakened by Jonathan who takes him to the past and shows Eddie how his poor childhood led him to grow up to become overly obsessed with money. Mark then appears and shows Eddie what’s happening in the present. Eddie’s lawyers are trying to shut down a charity so that Eddie can buy their headquarters. Poor Dave Ratchett is having to explain to his family that he lost his job. Eddie is moved by the sight of Dave’s wheelchair-bound son, who will die unless he gets the operation that Dave will now never be able to afford. Finally, Jonathan takes him to the future and shows Eddie that no one will visit his grave after he dies.

Eddie wakes up infused with the spirit of Christmas and soon, he’s running around town and giving people, including Dave, all of his money and other gifts. Interestingly enough, Mark also wakes up and he tells Jonathan that he had a dream in which he was the Ghost of Christmas Present. Just like Eddie, Mark wakes up with a new appreciation for the Christmas holidays.

I’ve lost track of how many different version of A Christmas Carol that I’ve seen. The idea of turning Scrooge into a used car salesman is an interesting one and I liked the fact that Eddie and Mark apparently both had the same dream. This may be the only time in which one of the “ghosts” learned a lesson as well as Scrooge. That said, Geoffrey Lewis — who was good in so many different films — goes a bit overboard as Fast Eddie. He’s so desperate and twitchy that it’s easy to believe him as a used car salesman but not as a successful one.

Next week, Jonathan and Mark search for a missing friend.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.12 “Hotel of Dreams”

Posted on December 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mark and Jonathan work at a hotel …. a hotel of dreams!

Episode 1.12 “Hotel of Dreams”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 12th, 1984)

Barry Rudd (Brian Kerwin) may be the son of a wealthy hotel owner but he’s far more comfortable living out in the country, wearing denim and flannel, and helping to raise goats. However, one day, Barry is summoned to his father’s hotel. His father even sends a helicopter out to get him. Barry gets on the helicopter but he insists on bringing his goat with him.

At the hotel, Barry’s father (Jacques Aubuchon) explains that he’s gotten married to a woman who is much younger than him and he needs Barry to run the hotel while he’s on his honeymoon. Barry is stuck running the snootiest hotel in California, despite the fact that he doesn’t even own a suit and all he really wants to do is look after his goat. Unfortunately, the hotel has a lot of problems. The manager (played by Dean Dittman) is a mean-spirited snob who takes bribes from the guests. A child (Douglas Emerson) is running wild through the halls of the hotel, all because his father is too busy working to keep an eye on him. Saintly maid Elena (Julie Carmen) does the best job that she can but she’s looked down upon by the guests and the hotel’s manager.

Can Barry solve all of the hotel’s problems and also find time to attend his high school reunion? Will he stay true to himself or will he sell out in an effort to impress people like his former classmate, Allison Rutledge (Judith-Marie Bergan)? It’s not going to be easy and Barry doesn’t even know where to begin. Fortunately, he has some help. The hotel’s two new bellhops are Jonathan Smith and Mark Gordon!

Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, Hotel of Dreams is a rather light-hearted episode. There’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in this episode. Of course, Allison is going to turn out to be a total snob. Of course, Elena is going to help Barry take care of his goat. Of course, Barry and Elena are going to fall in love and end up together, all with the help of Jonathan. And, of course, Mark is going to become a surrogate father figure for the bratty kid. This is a thoroughly pleasant if not particularly memorable episode, one that plays out more like a pilot for a show about the hotel than an episode about an angel trying to make the world a better place. Brian Kerwin and Julie Carmen make for an attractive couple and, as the episode ends, you can’t help but hope that Barry and Elena are going spend the rest of their lives raising goats together.

There is an unfortunate moment in this episode when Jonathan gives Mark a hard time for smoking. When Jonathan tells Mark that he could die if he doesn’t stop smoking, Mark replies that everyone has to die of something. Mark then asks Jonathan what cause his death.

“Lung cancer,” Jonathan replies.

Victor French, who played Mark, would die of lung cancer just five years later. Shortly afterwards, Michael Landon would also die of cancer.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.11 “Dust Child”

Posted on December 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jonathan offers up some clues about his past.

Episode 1.11 “Dust Child”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on November 28th, 1984)

Mark and Jonathan’s latest mission finds them in a small California town. It seems like a nice and welcoming community …. or, at least, it does if you’re an American. If you are one of the many refugees from Vietnam who have recently settled in the town, it’s a far less welcoming place.

When Mark goes into a gas station, he witnesses the owner refusing to give change to two Vietnamese kids. When Mark demands to know why, he’s told that the refugees are coming over and stealing everyone’s jobs.

“It’s a sickness worse than the plague,” Jonathan later says, “But the cure is in every one of us …. love!” And that may sound a bit simplistic but Michael Landon delivers the line with such conviction that he totally makes it work.

Working as house painters, Jonathan and Mark get a job remodeling the home of Richard Gaines (James Whitmore, Jr.), a Vietnam vet who has just discovered that, as the result of a wartime romance, he has a daughter named Nguyen (Denice Kumagai). 15 year-old Nguyen comes over to America to live with Richard and his wife (Jenny Sullivan) and his teenage son, Brad Gaines (Billy Jacoby). From the minute she arrives in the town, Nguyen finds herself facing prejudice. The other kids at school taunt her with derogatory slurs. Brad resents both the attention that Nguyen gets and the fact that his best friend, Larry (K.C. Martel), now refuses to talk to Brad because Larry’s father was killed while serving in Vietnam.

Eventually, Jonathan introduces himself to Larry and we discover a little bit about who Jonathan was before he became an angel. Jonathan says that he served in Vietnam with Larry’s father and he goes on to explain that Larry’s father died while protecting a group of South Vietnamese orphans from the Viet Cong. As Jonathan explains it, Larry’s father viewed the orphans as his own children. That’s all it takes for both Larry and Brad to see the errors of their ways and to welcome Nguyen into the neighborhood.

(Is Jonathan telling the truth about serving in Vietnam with Larry’s father? Jonathan’s an angel so I assume that he is. That, of course, means that this episode’s mission was not to help Nguyen feel at home in America but instead to help Larry overcome his own prejudice.)

As Jonathan and Mark prepare to leave for their next assignment, two kids on bicycles ride by and shout a slur at Nguyen. They immediately fall of their bicycles and, when they try to get back on, they fall off yet again. Mark laughs and says that God probably won’t object to Jonathan making that happen. Of course, if Mark read about what happened to the Canaanites, he would know those two kids got off easy.

Especially when compared to last week’s odd episode, this was an admirably straight-forward episode. There weren’t any great surprises to how the story unfolded but the story was told with such obvious sincerity that it worked. It can be easy to laugh at this show’s lack of subtlety but, in an episode like this, the lack of subtlety worked to the show’s advantage. Personally, I’ve gotten so used to snarky entertainment that it can be a bit of a pleasant surprise to watch something like this that is totally earnest and well-intentioned. This was a heartfelt episode and, in its old-fashioned way, it still holds up today.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”

Posted on November 30, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mark falls in love and Jonathan directs a movie.

Episode 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 21st, 1984)

This is a strange episode.

The first half of the episode plays out like almost a parody of Highway to Heaven. In fact, I would assume that it was a parody except for the fact that this was only the show’s tenth episode and that’s a bit early for any show to start intentionally parodying itself.

Still in Hollywood, Jonathan and Mark come across a sign that has been posted by someone named Joey. “Angels Needed,” the sign says. The sign has an address that turns out to be a community center, one that is populated by a mix of cranky retired people and young criminals. The center’s maintenance worker is a developmentally challenged young man named Joey Smalls (Dennis Fimple). Joey put up his sign because he wants an angel to help an elderly screenwriter named Martin Lamm (John Lormer). Martin has written a script about a magician and he wants to not only make the film but also fill the cast with people from the neighborhood.

No sooner have Mark and Jonathan stepped into the community center and met Joey and Martin then they are suddenly joined by a man named Petros (Al Ruscio). Petros speaks in a thick Greek accent and he says that he has also seen Joey’s sign, he has read Martin’s script, and he wants to produce the movie. And he wants Jonathan to direct it and Mark to play the role of a sea captain who falls in love with a woman who has “a past,” as Petros puts it. As the woman, they cast Stella (Stella Stevens), who actually does have a past.

We then jump forward several weeks. Jonathan is directing the film, even though he doesn’t seem to have a crew and we don’t actually see any cameras filming anything. Joey has impressed everyone with the sincerity of his acting and he is now friends with former gang member, Chewy (Randy Vasquez). Mark, meanwhile, is falling in love with Stella.

So, that’s the first half of the episode. It’s all very broadly acted and the dialogue frequently crosses the line from sentimental to mawkish. I have to admit that I rolled my eyes more than a few times because it all felt so overdone.

But then, the second half of the episode opens with Petros approaching Jonathan. Jonathan asks Petros about his past. Petros says that he was born in Galilee and that, before starting his current line of work, he was a fisherman. Jonathan realizes that Petros is actually St. Peter and he’s been sent down to help Jonathan out with his mission. It turns out that Jonathan’s mission is not really about Joey or Martin. Instead, it’s about Stella, who is going to die and it’s about Mark, who is about to lose the woman that he’s fallen in love with. Realizing that Stella’s character is also going to die in the movie that he’s supposedly directing, Jonathan asks if they can just rewrite the script but Peter tells him that they can’t. What is going to happen is going to happen.

And it does happen, though not before Mark asks Stella to marry him and Stella says yes. When she finds out that she’s ill, Stella leaves Mark a note saying that she’s dumping him for an ex-boyfriend. At first, Mark is angry but, with Jonathan’s help, he realizes the truth. Mark finds Stella waiting for him on the beach where they filmed their scenes for the movie and they get married as the ocean crashes behind them. And then, off-screen, Stella dies.

And I went from rolling my eyes to actually wiping away tears because, as broad and kind of annoying as the first half of the episode was, the second half was sensitively directed by Michael Landon and sincerely acted by both Victor French and Stella Stevens. If the first half felt like a parody, the second half was a reminder of why this show still remains popular on so many streaming platforms. At its best, there was an unapologetic earnestness to Highway to Heaven. This was a show that said that it was okay to cry and to have emotions and to care about people. This was a strange episode but, ultimately, a surprisingly effective one.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 1.9 “Catch A Falling Star”

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the highway leads to Hollywood!

Episode 1.9 “Catch a Falling Star”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on Nov. 14, 1984)

In this rather slight episode, Daniel Davis plays movie star Lance Gaylord. Lance is both producing and starring in a western and he’s so dedicated to the film that he rarely sees his two children, Brock (Bobby Jacoby) and Karen (Emily Moultrie). His son has been acting out and Lance thinks that it’s just because the kid is a brat and he’s upset about his parents getting divorced. The truth, of course, is that Brock just wants his father’s attention.

Jonathan and Mark show up on the set of Lance’s movie and explain that they’ve been sent over by the Darwin Agency. (An angel who works for the Darwin Agency? Take that, secular humanism!) Lance tells Jonathan and Mark to keep an eye on his kids while he’s shooting his movie.

The problem is an obvious one. How can Jonathan get Lance to spend more time with his children, especially his angry son? Well, maybe the child star who is appearing in the movie could come down with the chicken pox. And then, maybe with Jonathan’s encouragement, Brock could try out for the role. At first, Lance angrily says that he will not even allow his son to audition but when Brock runs away from home and Jonathan yells at him for not being there for his son, Lance realizes the errors of his ways. When Brock returns home, he gets his audition and he gets the role. He also finally gets to go fishing with his dad.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is how little actually happens. It really doesn’t take much for Lance to see the errors of his ways. He just needs Jonathan to yell at him for a minute or two. The whole thing epitomizes the feel-good blandness that the show was known for. In the end, Lance isn’t a bad father. He just needed to be reminded to do what was right. Myself, I’m more concerned with the fact that Lance’s film looks way too old-fashioned to be a hit, even in the 80s. As soon as I saw Lance dressed up like a cowboy, I thought to myself, “Oh, this movie is going to be such a flop that careers are going to end.” Hopefully, Lance is keeping productions costs down or he might never work in Hollywood again.

This episode’s big scene actually doesn’t have anything to do with Lance or his children. Instead, it comes when Jonathan and Mark go to a grocery store and end up getting confronted by a junkie (Dennis A. Pratt) with a gun. With the junkie attempts to shoot Jonathan, Jonathan snatches the bullet out of the air. At the police drag him away, the junkie shouts that he’s never going to drugs again. Obviously, Jonathan and Mark were changing lives everywhere!

Next week, Jonathan and Mark help out on another film set!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.8 “A Divine Madness”

Posted on November 16, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get a bit silly on the highway.

Episode 1.8 “A Divine Madness”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 7th, 1984)

Oh, this episode.

Years ago, a ruthless land developer named Arthur Krock (Ron Moody) built a castle for his beloved wife. Tragically, his wife passed away and Arthur had a nervous breakdown. Now, he spends all of his time in his castle and he believes that he actually is King Arthur. He says that he’s waiting for the return of his Guinevere. Only Marian (Helen Kleeb), his loyal maid, has remained with him over the years. He, of course, calls her Maid Marian even though that’s a Robin Hood reference and not anything from the Arthurian legends.

Though the elder Arthur Krock is still the head of his company, the day-to-day business is handled by his son, Arthur Krock, Jr. (played by a young and beardless Jonathan Frakes). Bitter over his unhappy childhood, Arthur, Jr. is just as ruthless as his father once was. Arthur, Jr. has a 12 million dollar deal to force a woman named Gwen (Jean Allison) off of her land and he’s determined to get it done, even if it means displacing all of the dogs that she and her veterinarian son (Scott Stevenson) look after.

Arthur, Sr.’s daughter, Linda (Ellen Maxted), hires two new handyman and you can probably already guess that they’re going to be Jonathan and Mark. Working around the castle, Jonathan arranges for Arthur, Sr. to meet Gwen. When Arthur, Sr. discovers that Gwen is short for Gweneviere, he announces that she can stay on her land. Arthur, Jr. goes to court to get his father declared incompetent.

Can you guess what happens? Well, if you think that Arthur, Sr. hires Jonathan to be his lawyer and then announces in court that he has not been the father that he should have been …. you’re absolutely correct!

When people talk about Highway to Heaven being a campy or cheesy show, it’s usually episodes like this that they’re talking about. Unabashedly sentimental in its approach, this episode suffers from the fact that Arthur, Jr. has a point. Arthur, Sr. is clearly mentally ill and allowing him to run the company is totally unfair to his employees and the people who have invested in his business. Just because Arthur, Jr. isn’t particularly likable, that doesn’t make him incorrect. If the episode had merely portrayed Arthur, Sr. as an eccentric who didn’t want to have to deal with the pain of the real world, that would be one thing. But this episode has Arthur, Sr. living in a literal castle, sitting on an actual throne, and referring to his son as being Lancelot. It’s all just a bit too much and Ron Moody’s over-the-top performance doesn’t particularly help. To the show’s credit, it does eventually acknowledge that Arthur, Sr. needs some help but still, the whole thing just feels a bit …. well, silly.

Next week, Jonathan and Mark help a movie star become a better father! Hopefully, he doesn’t think that he’s Prester John or Robin Hood or anyone like that.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.6 and 1.7 “One Fresh Batch of Lemonade”

Posted on November 9, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode finds Jonathan and Mark working as physical therapists!

Episodes 1.6 and 1.7 “One Fresh Batch of Lemonade”

(Dir by Michael Landon, aired on October 24th, 1984 and October 31st, 1984)

Deke Larson, Jr. (Ken Olandt) is a high school baseball star who is being watched by the scouts, much to the joy of his father, Deke, Sr. (Jim Haynie). The elder Deke was quite an athlete in his day and his house is still full of the trophies that he won through the years. Deke, Sr. was recruited to play professional baseball but he never made it out of the minor leagues. As a result, Deke, Jr. has spent his entire life being prepared to do what his father never accomplished.

However, that dream comes to an end when Deke, Jr. has a motorcycle accident and is hit by a truck that is being driven by Richie Halbertson (Bart Conner), a gymnast who attends a rival high school. As a result of the accident, Deke, Jr. loses both his legs. Now, he spends his time at a rehab clinic, consumed by his own bitterness.

Jonathan and Mark are the clinic’s newest physical therapists. While Jonathan tries to get Deke, Jr. to accept his condition and forgive Richie, Mark tries to talk to Deke, Sr. With the help of a quadriplegic law student named Scotty (James Troesh), Deke, Jr. starts to realize that it’s better to focus on what he has instead of obsessing on what he’s lost. Deke, Jr. starts to recover from his bitterness and soon, he’s even being nice to the classmate (Samatha Paris) who has a crush on him. But when Jonathan suggests that Deke, Jr. could still compete as gymnast, will Deke, Jr. be able to accept being trained by Richie Halbertson? And will Deke’s parents be able to set aside their own anger to support their son?

If you answered no to any of those questions, you’ve obviously never seen this show before.

This two-parter is pretty much the epitome of a typical Highway to Heaven episode. It’s earnest, heartfelt, well-intentioned, and there’s isn’t a moment of cynicism to be found. It’s the type of episode where Jonathan tells two snotty teenage boys that they shouldn’t park in a handicapped spot and, when the boys ignore him and go into a nearby bookstore, God turns their car upside down. (Plus, they get a ticket!) Even the episode’s title, which refers to the old-saying about making lemonade whenever life gives you lemons, pretty sums up Highway to Heaven‘s unapologetically positive outlook. At the same time, it’s also an episode that, because it is so earnest, won’t take anyone by surprise. If you can’t guess how this episode is going to end, I can only assume that you’ve never watched television or a movie before.

Predictable as it may be, it’s still an effective episode, largely because it is so unashamed of being sentimental and heartfelt. You do have to wonder just how exactly Deke, Jr. managed to become a competition-worthy gymnast in what appears to have just been a matter of weeks but still, this is a case where the good intentions make up for the rough spots.

Next week, Jonathan and Mark help an industrialist who thinks that he is King Arthur. Who does the grail serve?

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.5 “Song of the Wild West”

Posted on November 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jonathan and Mark go country!

Episode 1.5 “Song of the Wild West”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on October 17th, 1984)

This week’s episode of Highway to Heaven has a country music theme as Mark’s car ends up breaking down outside of a country-western bar.

I have to admit that I had mixed feelings about this theme. Quite frankly, country music is not my type of music. As I’ve explained in the past, my musical tastes run the gamut from EDM to more EDM. Country music has just never really done much for me, though I’ve done a line dance or two.

That said, I grew up all over the Southwest. I live in Texas. I’m a city girl but I knw what it’s like to walk through the high grass on a humid day. I know what it’s like to be woken up at sunrise by the sound of a rooster. I’ve ridden horses. I once milked a cow but I really didn’t enjoy it at all. I know the country and I like the people who live out in the country and, though I’m meant to live in a city, I still feel a bit of nostalgia whenever I see a farmhouse or a muddy pickup truck. This episode did have a legitimate country feel, which I appreciated.

Jonathan actually had a handful of missions in this episode. First off, he had to help Trudy Swenson (Joan Kjar) win the bar back from Nick Claybourne (Clifton James), the blowhard who won the bar in a rigged poker game from Trudy’s husband. Secondly, he had to help gas station owner Tim Higgins (Jerry Hardin) come to terms with the musical ambitions of his teenage daughter, Sara (Michele Greene). And finally, he had to help Sara reunite with her mother, an alcoholic country music star named Pasty Maynard (Ronee Blakely). And he had to do all this while also working as a bartender at the bar. Not only did Jonathan have to solve everyone’s emotional problems but he had to convince the local drunk to drink a cup of coffee as opposed to ordering another shot.

Mark doesn’t do much this week and I assume that’s because Victor French also directed the episode. As a result, everything pretty much falls on Jonathan and it almost feels as if he’s been given too much to do. Throughout the episode, he’s rushing back and forth between Tim, Trudy, and Patsy. Add to that the fact that the action stops for a minutes at a time so that Patsy and Sara can perform and you end up with an episode that feels a bit overstuffed.

This episode didn’t really work for me. I could appreciate the fact that the episode did a good job capturing the country milieu but country music just doesn’t do much for me. And this episode had a lot of country music.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.4 “The Return Of The Masked Rider”

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jonathan and Mark clean up a troubled neighborhood!

Episode 1.4 “The Return of the Masked Rider”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on October 3rd, 1984)

This week, Jonathan and Mark end up a gym in a city. Jonathan applies for a job as a cut man. The gym’s owner, Mau Mau (Stoney Jackson), is doubtful because Jonathan can’t give him any references to call but then Jonathan magically heals a cut over a boxer’s eye. Jonathan gets the job and just in time because this neighborhood needs to be protected.

The problem is that the neighborhood is being ruled by Thumper (Darin Taylor) and the Satan’s Helpers. Everyone in the neighborhood is scared of the Satan’s Helpers and who can blame them when the gang literally identifies with Satan? I mean, they’re not only fans of Satan but they’re helping him as well! Anyway, the statewide boxing championship is coming up and Thumper is going to be fighting another neighborhood boxer, Joey (Chip MacAllister). The Satan’s Helpers demand that Joey throw the fight and to make sure that Joey does so, they kidnap his grandfather (Hank Rolike)!

Mark suggests that Jonathan just “zap” the gang members and bring an end to the whole thing but Jonathan explains that their mission is not to take out the gang. Their mission is to encourage the other residents in the neighborhood to take back the streets, “like the Guardian Angels!” You heard it, folks. God supports vigilantism.

Luckily, Morton Clay (John Agar) lives in the neighborhood as well. Morton was once a movie star, playing the Masked Bandit. Now retired and nearly forgotten, Morton lives in an apartment building with several of his former co-stars. Jonathan encourages Morton and his friends to put on their old costumes and march down to the headquarters of the Satan’s Helpers. The rest of the neighborhood is so amazed by the parade of old timey heroes, that they follow.

The Satan’s Helpers are so intimidated by sight of the entire neighborhood gathered together that they decide to stop helping Satan and they release the grandfather. Yay! Meanwhile, at the boxing match, Joey refuses to take a dive and he knocks out Thumper. Yay! The neighborhood is saved.

When people refer to Highway to Heaven as being a campy show, they are probably referring to episodes like this one. Undoubtedly, the episode is well-intentioned. Watching it, you can tell that Michael Landon was hoping that this episode would inspire people to take pride in the neighborhoods, just like the Masked Bandit and his friends! But the episode’s extremely earnest approach feels a bit naïve. There’s nothing particularly intimidating about the Satan’s Helpers and it certainly doesn’t help their credibility that they’re scare off by a bunch of elderly people wearing costumes.

Next week, Mark and Jonathan break into the country music world!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway To Heaven 1.3 “To Touch The Moon”

Posted on October 19, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Highway to Heaven is determined to make you cry.

Episode 1.3 “To Touch The Moon”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 26th, 1984)

Oh my God, this episode. Seriously, this episode was a real tear-jerker and a good example of how this show’s earnest and extremely sincere approach could make even the most predictable of stories emotionally effective.

This episode deals with two young boys living in Houston.

Arthur Nealy (Barret Oliver) is the son of a man who flew to the Moon as a part of NASA and then died when the plane that he was flying crashed. (Before the crash, Arthur’s father got the plane out over the ocean and saved the lives of everyone who was underneath him.) For most of his short life, Arthur has struggled with Leukemia. After a year of being in remission, the cancer has returned and, as his doctor (Don Starr) tells his mother (Carrie Snodgress), there is no hope this time. Arthur’s only wish is to “touch the moon” before he dies.

Tony Rizzo (Tony La Torre) is a tough kid who has been in trouble with the police numerous times and who is on the verge of being kicked out his apartment by his own grandmother (Penny Santon).

Mark and Jonathan meet Tony while the latter is standing on the side of the road and hitchhiking. Former cop Mark doesn’t want to stop to pick up any hitchhikers. Jonathan, being an angel who can basically do anything, forces the car to stop anyways. Jonathan and Mark agree to give Tony a ride but, when they stop off to get breakfast at a diner, Tony promptly steals Mark’s car. While Jonathan goes off to do angel stuff, Mark pursues Tony.

Eventually, Mark tracks Tony down to his grandmother’s apartment but, when Mark discovers that Tony’s parents abandoned him and that his grandmother doesn’t even want him, Mark doesn’t have the heart to take Tony to the police. (Awwwww!) Instead, he takes Tony with him to an address that Jonathan give him earlier.

The address is the Nealy House, where Jonathan shows up to give Arthur a birthday gift and introduces himself as being a friend of Arthur’s father. (The implication is that Jonathan and Arthur’s father have been conversing in Heaven.) Arthur asks his mother if Tony can stay with him for a few days. Arthur’s mother agrees. When Tony tries to later sneak out of the house, he’s stopped by Jonathan, who reveals that Arthur has cancer and who gets Tony to agree to be Arthur’s friend for a few days.

You can probably guess where this is heading. Tony and Arthur end up bonding. Tony lets down his tough exterior. Arthur says that he wants his mother to adopt Tony after he dies. One happy family montage later, Arthur collapses in his bedroom and is taken to the hospital where Jonathan visits him in his hospital room and shows him that death is nothing to fear. Arthur stares out the hospital window and the camera zooms in on the moon, the implication being the Arthur’s spirit is now free to touch the moon.

“Your home, son,” Jonathan says, his voice cracking, “you’re home.”

I mean, Good Lord! I’m crying just typing this up! And really, that’s the best review that I can give you of this episode. It was heavy-handed and sometimes the performances felt a little awkward but it totally made me cry. There’s not a hint of cynicism to be found here, nor are there any hints of snarkiness. There’s just a lot of very honest emotion.

Next week, I assume the show will make me cry again.