Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 1.5 “A Shot In The Dark”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the murders continue and two detectives continue to obsess.

Episode 1.5 “A Shot In The Dark”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on February 24th, 1993)

As I watched this week’s episode of Homicide, it occurred to me that I really don’t care about Stanley Bolander’s relationship with Dr. Carol Blythe.

Seriously, I really did try to give this storyline a chance.  Bolander is played by the great character actor Ned Beatty.  Dr.  Blythe is played by Wendy Hughes.  Both Beatty and Hughes are no longer with us but they were both very good actors and I’m always in favor of giving good actors a plotline.  But, my God — Bolander is so whiny!  I mean, I get it.  He’s newly divorced and he’s unsure of himself and he’s a lot more comfortable investigating death than actually living life.  However, Dr. Blythe obviously likes him and Bolander had a fairly good date with her during the previous episode so why did he spend this episode afraid to talk to her on the phone?  During this episode, Bolander and Munch were investigating the murder of a drug dealer.  The only witness was a high-class prostitute who ended up hitting on Bolander, largely because she wanted him to buy her some food.  It was an interesting-enough case but instead of focusing on that, the whole thing was Munch telling Bolander to call Blythe and Bolander getting mad as a result.  It got old.

While Bolander whined about his relationship issues, Lewis and Crosetti continued to investigate the shooting of Officer Thormann.  Crosetti was convinced that Thormann had been shot by Alfred Smith (Mojo Gentry), largely because a man named Charles Flavin (Larry Hull) fingered Smith as being the shooter.  Lewis thought that Flavin was a more likely suspect, especially after Flavin failed a lie detector.  In the end, it was not superior police work that led to the arrest of Charles Flavin but instead his girlfriend telling Crosetti and Lewis that Flavin shot Thormann because he had a headache.  When confronted, Flavin immediately confessed and then started complaining about his migraine.

(As for Officer Thormann, he survives being shot in the head but he is now blind.)

Everyone is happy that Thormann’s shooter has been arrested but Crosetti finds himself wracked with guilt and self-doubt over the fact that he nearly arrested the wrong man.  In a wonderfully-acted moment, Crosetti tells Lewis that Giardello was right.  Crosetti was too close to Thormann to work the case.

Speaking of getting too involved in a case, Bayliss continues to obsess over the Adena Watson case.  After the incompetent Captain Barnfather (Clayton LeBouef) goes to a community meeting and reveals that a pipe was used to kill Adeena (and, in the process, ruins Bayliss’s plan to interrogate the man who he suspects is the murderer), Bayliss calls Barnfather and calls him a — cover your ears, if you’re young — “butthead.”  Barnfather is so offended that he comes to the station to demand that Bayliss be taken off the case.  Giardello tells Bayliss that he can either apologize or he can find another job.  Giardello also acknowledges that Barnfather’s an idiot and Bayliss has every reason to be upset.  Bayliss, who has a cold and is running a fever, apologizes and then tells Giardello that he’s willing to step down as primary and let Pembleton have the case.  Giardello, who really is the perfect boss, tells Bayliss to go home and get some sleep.

While Bayliss is losing his temper, Felton and Pembleton are investigating a man who lived in the neighborhood where Adeena’s body was found.  Felton’s theory is that the man killed Adeena and then kept her body in the trunk of his car before dumping her in the back yard where she was found.  The man’s car has subsequently been repossessed and Pembleton and Felton spend a night searching for the car on various impound lots.  When they finally find the car, they also find no evidence linking it to the Watson murder.  The focus of these scenes was less on the search for the car and more on listening to Pembleton and Felton bicker.  The two men sincerely dislike each other and Homicide deserves a lot of credit for acknowledging that working with someone is not the same thing as respecting them.  Pembleton views Felton as being a racist.  Felton views Pembleton as being a snob.  As they look for the car, they argue about everything, from the renaming of a street after Martin Luther King to Felton’s belief that Pembleton takes everything too personally.  Their argument is fascinating to listen to, largely because of the obvious disdain that each man has for the other.  Neither man is portrayed as having a monopoly on the truth.  Pembleton may be right about Felton’s prejudices but Felton is equally correct when he suggests that Pembleon is more concerned with showing up Bayliss than with investigating the case.  It’s the type of thing that you would never hear on television today.

In the end, the neighbor and his car prove to be a dead end.  But lab results come in that suggest that Bayliss’s suspicion that Adeena was killed by the local arabber may be correct.  While the rest of the squad celebrates the arrest of Charles Flavin, Pembleton and Bayliss prepare to bring in the arabber.

(According to Wikipedia, an arabber is a street vendor who sells fruits and vegetables from a horse-drawn cart.  Apparently, they’re a Northeastern thing and specifically a Baltimore thing.  Having grown up in the Southwest, I have to admit that I had never even heard the term before watching Homicide.)

All of the Bolander nonsense aside, this was a good episode that took a look at the mental strain involved in being a homicide detective.  Crosetti allowed himself to become so obsessed that he nearly arrested the wrong guy.  Bayliss allowed himself to become so obsessed that he nearly lost his job as a result.  Interestingly enough, Thormann’s shooter is captured because his girlfriend turned him in and not because of any superior policework.  Meanwhile, it’s easy to laugh at Pembleton and Felton spending an entire day chasing down a false lead but, in doing so, they eliminate the neighbor as a viable suspect and help to make the case against the arabber even stronger.  In the end, it’s a thankless job but this episode makes the viewer glad that someone’s doing it.

Next week, we finally meet the arabber!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 2.18 “My Girl Friday, Saturday, Sunday”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard runs afoul the mob.  Don’t worry, it’s only the Canadian mob.

Episode 2.18 “My Girl Friday Saturday Sunday”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 22nd, 1987)

While taking Edna to the airport (and seriously, how many vacations does Edna take during the year?), Howard is the victim of a hit-and-run.  Another car literally takes off Howard’s driver’s side door.  Howard is determined to find out who was driving the car and make them pay for his door.

After Marlene puts signs up around the airport asking if anyone witnessed the accident, Howard learns that the other car belonged to Canadian gangster Meatloaf Rothko (Chuck Shamata) and it was being driven by his mistress, Jerri (Heather Smith).  Of course, Meatloaf already knows whose car Jerri hit and, in fact, he’s arranged for Jerri to get a job as Edna’s temporary replacement at Cobb’s.

Meatloaf requests that Howard meet with him at an Italian restaurant.  Howard is hesitant but finally agrees to not only meet with him but to wear a wire.  But, it turns out that Meatloaf is actually a nice guy who is willing to give Howard $10,000 to keep quiet about the accident.  So, in other words, there really wasn’t much point to any of this.

As you probably already guessed, the plot of this episode was dumb.  As I’ve often commented in the past, Check It Out has never been able to figure out who Howard Bannister is supposed to be.  Sometimes, he’s the best boyfriend in the world and a respected father figure to all of his employees.  This week, however, his employees are back to having no respect for him and Howard starts to hit on Jerri as soon as she shows up in the store.  (Sorry, Edna, I hope going on your tenth vacation of the season was worth it.)  Sometimes, Howard is a brilliant guy who always tries to do the right thing.  This episode, he’s back to being a coward who has to be pressured into standing up for himself.  Considering that the episodes in which Howard is a good boss are a hundred times better than the ones where he’s a total jackass, it’s a bit annoying that the jackass version of Howard seems to be the one who shows up the most.

On the plus side, this episode featured a lot of funny bits from the show’s supporting cast.  Kathleen Laskey, Jeff Pustil, and Gordon Clapp all got in a few good one-liners.  Of course, it helps that Laskey, Pustil, and Clapp all play characters who behave in a consistent manner.  Jeff Pustil’s Jack Christian is always going to be smarmy in an oddly likable way.  Gordon Clapp’s Viker is always going to be earnestly dumb.  Kathleen Laskey’s Marlene is always going to be a sarcastic agent of chaos.  Their characters have been consistent since the show started and, as a result, a lot of the humor comes from knowing how they’re going to react to certain situations.  I will sit through an entire episode just to hear Marlene’s sarcastic response to whatever plan Christian comes up with.  They’re funny characters.

So, my feelings about this episode were mixed.  The story was incredibly dumb and Howard was incredibly annoying.  But the employees of Cobb’s made me smile more than once.  This episode wasn’t particularly memorable but it amused me.  I’ve learned that’s the best one can hope for with this show.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/27/24 — 11/2/24


Last Sunday, I took part in one of my favorite October traditions and I watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with my sister, Erin.  I always enjoy watching these old Peanuts specials with my sister.  It’s been a part of our holiday tradition for as long as I can remember.  You can read Erin’s thoughts on the Great Pumpkin here.

I watched the latest episode of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez.  This week, Aaron murdered Odin Lloyd.  This was the crime for which Hernandez was arrested and eventually sent to prison.  You would think that this would have been a major episode of the show but it was actually pretty meh.  Who cares?  Everything that this show had to say about Aaron Hernandez and his crimes was said several episodes ago.

I enjoyed the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday.  The Blue Team is finally getting it together.  Chef Ramsay is being a bit nicer than usual this season but he’s still entertaining.  I actually kind of like it when Ramsay’s nice.  One gets the feeling that he really does want everyone to reach their full potential.

How did I not know that Dr. Phil started his own television network?  On Friday, I came across it while looking for something to watch in the afternoon.  I ended up watching two episodes of Jail.  Usually, the cops and guards on Jail get on my nerves but, in these two episodes, they actually did a pretty good job and treated everyone with a modicum of respect.

On Friday night, I watched two episodes of Night Flight.  It was all about 80s music and 80s films.  I enjoyed them.

Today, I watched an old episode of Dragnet from 1970.  Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) was enrolled in night school.  An anti-cop professor tried to kick him out of class.  Fortunately, one of Joe’s classmates was an attorney and threatened to sue the college on Joe’s behalf.

As far as my retro television reviews are concerned, I finished up T&T finally.  I also watched and reviewed Friday the 13th, Welcome Back, Kotter, and Check It Out.  Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi so I had two bucks to watch this week’s episode on Prime.  Welcome Back, Kotter’s later seasons are far more tolerable when you can view them for free.

Horrorthon is over!  I’ve got a lot of television to get caught up on, starting this upcoming week.  Apparently, I’m being given an extra hour to do so.  That was nice of whoever’s in charge of all that.

 

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, we learn how Beau became a Sweathog.

Episode 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 16th, 1978)

There’s a new student at Buchanan High!  His name is Beau DeLaBarre (Stephen Shortridge).  He’s handsome.  He’s blonde.  He’s charming.  He’s from New Orleans and speaks with a Southern accent.  He’s got a great smile.  He looks like he’s about 26 years old but that’s okay.  Most of his classmates look like they’re in their 30s.

Beau is a transfer student from New Orleans.  He comes to Buchanan after being kicked out of a series of different schools.  He’s a troublemaker!  Why, he might even become a Sweathog!  Unfortunately, he and Epstein take a dislike to each other.  Beau goes out with a girl Epstein likes.  Epstein staples Beau’s underwear and pants to the wall.  Beau walks down the hall wearing just a towel and the audience goes crazy.  (“Oh!” Horshack exclaims.)  Beau sets Epstein up with a dental hygienist and then tells Epstein that she’s married and her husband is looking to kill Epstein.  Why would a married woman be dating a remedial high school student?  It probably helps that Epstein looks like he’s about 40.

Anyway, after a stern talking to from Julie (who is working in the front office and who now has a really unflattering haircut), Beau realizes he was in the wrong.  He tells Epstein the truth.  But the hygienist’s boyfriend (Richard Moll) shows up and demands to see “Juan Epstein.”

“I’m Juan Epstein!” Beau declares.

Beau gets punched but he also wins the friendship of the Sweathogs….

If this all seems strange, it’s because it’s already been established, in the episode where the Sweathogs checked out Vinny’s new apartment, that Beau is a member of the Sweathogs.  That episode also established that both Gabe and Julie know Beau.  Obviously, Beau’s Jest was originally meant to air at the start of the season but the folks at the network decided it would be smarter to start the season with John Travolta instead of Stephen Shortridge.  I don’t blame them.

(Interestingly enough, the version of this episode on Prime includes a prologue where Beau and the Sweathogs are hanging out and Epstein says something like, “Remember when we first met?” and the rest of the episode plays out like a flashback.  When this episode was on Tubi, that prologue was not included.  So, who knows?  Maybe the prologue was something that was included for syndication or maybe when the episode aired in reruns.)

This episode …. ugh.  Barbarino is nowhere to be seen.  Gabe only appears for a few seconds.  There’s way too much of Julie acting like the “That’s Not Funny” meme.  Stephen Shortridge was not a bad actor and he was pleasant on the eyes but his character does not belong on a show about New York juvenile delinquents.  Apparently, the show wanted Barabrino’s replacement to be the opposite of Barbarino, in order to avoid people comparing the new guy to Travolta.  That wasn’t a bad idea but the show went too far in the other direction.

One final note: Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi.  It’s available on Prime.  I had to pay two dollars to watch this.  I probably would have cut this episode a little more slack if I had watched it for free.  But for two bucks, I expect to at least feel like I got my money’s worth.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.21 “The Little Prince”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T and T comes to an end.

Episode 3.21 “The Little Prince”

(Dir by Ken Girotti, originally aired on May 26th, 1990)

The Sultan (Fareed Ahmed) of the tiny island nation of Domain has come to Canada or wherever the Hell this show is supposed to be taking place so that he can announce that he is bringing democracy to his nation.  Yay!  Democracy rules!  However, the Sultan is also bringing along his bratty 12 year-old son, the Prince (Marlow Vella).  Out of everyone that he could have hired, he selected Terri and T.S. Turner to look after the Prince.

Unfortunately, a gangster named Don Giovanni wants to kidnap the Prince.  Fortunately, Don Giovanni has hired recurring crooks Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) to handle the abduction.  Why any reputable gangster would hire Fritz and Nobby, I don’t know.  Fritz and Nobby have appeared in several episodes of this show and they have never came close to pulling off any of their schemes.  As usual, Turner is able to easily defeat Fritz and Nobby and, oddly, there doesn’t seem to be hard feelings.  With all of the times that Turner has captured Fritz and Nobby, you do have to wonder why the two of them are never in jail.

This was the last episode of T and T.  Not only did it end season 3 but it ended the show itself.  The show ends without anyone ever asking what happened to Amy or any of the other supporting characters who came and went over the past three seasons.  The continuity of this show was always a mess.  That’s especially clear in this episode.  Turner has to tell Terri who Fritz and Nobby are, despite the fact that Terri has met them at least twice before.  I’m going to guess this episode was probably meant to air earlier in the season.  Either that or the show’s writers just didn’t care.

For a show that started off as the story of streetwise guy who was unjustly imprisoned for murder, T and T certainly ended on a silly and rather inconsequential note.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  It’s a Canadian detective show that starred Mr. T.  Obviously, T and T was never meant to be taken seriously.  The show didn’t need an epic finale but still, I always feel like the final episode of the show should at least wrap things up.  The final episode is the equivalent of a final chapter.  Its the show’s chance to leave the viewers with one final thought or to at least acknowledge everything that led up to the end.  It’s always a bit sad when any show — even something like T and T — doesn’t get a chance to do that.

Now that it’s over, what can I say about T and T?  There were a few entertaining episodes.  Mr. T didn’t have much range an actor but he was still a big personality and his “don’t be a criminal” speeches were earnest delivered.  The show worked better with Amy than Terri.  The first season was the show’s strongest.  Things went downhill afterwards.  By the third season, Mr. T seemed bored with the whole thing.

Anyway, I’m done with T and T!  To be honest, there were times when I felt like I would never finish this show.  This is probably one of the most obscure pieces of entertainment that I’ve ever reviewed on the Shattered Lens but that’s what I’m here for.  I like reviewing the shows and the movies that have been overlooked or otherwise forgotten.

Next week, I’ll be reviewing a new show in this time slot.  What will that show be?

Uhmm …. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out myself!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.23 “Children’s Children”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark find themselves in a Douglas Sirk-style melodrama.

Episode 2.23 “Children’s Children”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on April 30th, 1986)

When I watched this episode, I saw that the script was credited to David Thoreau and I immediately assumed that it had to be a pseudonym for the actual writer.  Fortunately, for once, I actually did some research and I discovered that the writer’s name actually was David Thoreau.  He wrote a few scripts that were produced in the 80s and 90s and, in fact, this was the first of seven scripts that he wrote for Highway to Heaven.  He’s also credited as writing the screenplay for the classic beach volleyball film, Side Out.

As for this episode, it finds Mark and Jonathan working at a home for unwed mothers.  Just the term “home for unwed mothers” brings to mind the 50s melodramas of Douglas Sirk and I found myself thinking about just how old-fashioned Highway to Heaven must have seemed even in the 80s.  I did a google search and I discovered that homes from unwed mothers do still exist, though they’re now called “maternity homes.”

The manager of the home for unwed mothers is Joyce Blair (Bibi Besch), who finds herself being hounded by a reporter named Dan Rivers (Robert Lipton).  Dan is determined to take Joyce down and, to do so, he brings up a past incident in which Joyce was arrested.  Dan twists the facts to make Joyce look like a criminal and soon, Joyce finds that she might not be able to keep the home open.  Why is Dan doing this?  Like most reporters on Highway to Heaven, he’s just plain evil.  But when one of the girls at the home suggests that Dan might be the father of her child, Dan learns what it’s like to be falsely accused.

Meanwhile, evil businessman Jack Brent (James T. Callahan) hopes for a chance to foreclose on the home so that he can bulldoze it and replace it with condominiums.  (Bad guys in the 80s always wanted to build condos.)  But how will he react when he discovers that his teenage son (Scott Coffey) is going to be a father and that the girl he impregnated in currently living at the home?

This episode is the type of episode that most people think of when they dismiss Highway to Heaven as just being an old-fashioned and slightly preachy melodrama.  There’s not a single subtle moment or particularly nuanced moment to be found in this particular episode.  It’s note quite as heavy-handed as that episode where Mark begged the President to talk to the Russians and reduce amount of nuclear missiles but it’s close.

Bonus Horror on TV: The Curse of Degrassi (dir by Stefan Brogren)


This is a special episode of my favorite TV show of all, Degrassi!  Originally airing on October 28th, 2008, The Curse of Degrassi features Degrassi’s main mean girl, Holy J Sinclair (Charlotte Arnold), getting possessed by the vengeful spirit of deceased school shooter, Rick Murray (Ephraim Ellis).  Chaos follows!  Fortunately, Spinner (Shane Kippel) is around to save the day.  As any true Degrassi fan can tell you, only Spinner has a chance against the forces of the undead.

What I like about this episode is that, in the best tradition of Degrassi, it goes there.  Holly J does get possessed.  Just about the entire cast end up dying horribly.  Spinner has to battle the undead spirit of Rick Murray and he has to do it without the help of Drake.  And, as far as we know, this episode is canon.  So, yes, Rick Murray’s ghost actually does haunt Degrassi Community School and yes, only Spinner can save us all.

Go Spinner!

Enjoy!

Horror On TV: One Step Beyond 3.36 “Eyewitness” (dir by John Newland)


For this year’s horrorthon’s final episode of One Step Beyond, we have the …. final episode of One Step Beyond!

In this, the series’s very last episode, a Boston newspaper reporter in 1883 somehow manages to write a firsthand account of one of the greatest natural disasters in human history, the volcanic eruption of Krakatoa.  Making his accomplishment all the more amazing is that he not only filed the story the day before it happened but he also says that he has no memory of writing it!  What’s going on?  Take one step beyond and find out!

This episode originally aired on July 4th, 1961.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.16 “Mrs. Murray”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Murray gets married!

Episode 1.16 “Mrs. Murray”

(DIr by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 7th, 1999)

It may seem strange to review an episode of Malibu, CA on Halloween but this episode does feature Murray dressed up as Elvis so I guess that’s kind of Halloween-y.

Why is Murray dressed as Elvis?  That’s what he decides to wear to his wedding, which is being held in the restaurant for some reason.  Murray is marrying Amber (Anastasia Horne), who is only interested in Murray because of his money.  (At one point, Amber’s friend refers to Murray as being the “mayor of Freak City.”  No, Murray was mayor of Malibu …. remember?)  Murray will receive a billion-dollar trust fund as soon as he gets married.  Jason and Scott try to warn Murray about Amber so, at his wedding, Murray announces that he will not accept a dime of money from his trust fund.  Amber quickly leaves the restaurant and Murray starts to sing “I feel so lonely I could die.”

Poor Murray!

While it’s tempting to praise Scott and Jason for looking out for Murray, I’ve seen enough episodes to know that Scott and Jason were probably just concerned that Amber would take all of Murray’s money before they could get a chance to cheat him out of it.  Scott and Jason have certainly never had any problem with the idea of taking Murray’s money before.  I’d probably be trusting of their motives if not for the fact that they embezzled money from Murray’s campaign just a few episodes ago.

Meanwhile, Tracy tries her hand at becoming a hairstylist, which leads to Sam and Stads looking like this:

Hey, just in time for Halloween!  Are we sure this isn’t a holiday episode?  It originally aired on February 7th, 1999 so …. nope.  It’s just a coincidence that the episode I’m reviewing on Halloween happened to feature a lot of costumes.

This episode was essentially just a re-do of the Saved by The Bell episode with Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce, with the main difference being that Brandon Brooks is a bit more likable as Murray than Dustin Diamond was as Screech.  On a personal note, I have to say that, as someone who has big boobs and is proud of it, I kind of resent that that every similarly endowed woman on Malibu, CA is portrayed as being either an airhead (Tracy) or a golddigger (Amber).  For a show set on the beach, this show certainly does seem to take issue with those of us who actually look good in a bikini.

(Personally, I think Tracy should marry Murray and start digging into the trust fund….)

Oh well.  I could complain more but it’s time for me to get ready to hand out candy.  Happy Halloween!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.20 “Micro Minds”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

In this episode, a new lifeform is discovered.

Episode 2.20 “Micro Minds”

(Dir by Anthony Santa Croce, originally aired on March 4, 1990)

In a college science lab, astronomy student Paula (Belle Avery) is convinced that her personal computer is  picking up communications being sent to her from an extra-terrestrial civilization.  When Dr. Thomas Becker (Troy Donahue) comes by the lab to find out why Paula hasn’t been coming to class, he is at first dismissive of her theory.  But then he hears the voice of Grok (David Parmenter) coming through the computer and he realizes the truth of what has happened.

Paula has made contact with another lifeform.

But it’s not an lifeform from another planet.  Instead, it’s a microscopic protozoa that has evolved in the laboratory’s cooling tank.  Grok can speak but it doesn’t know much about the world outside of the tank.  When Becker shines a light over the tank, Grok thinks that Becker is God.  Becker, to Paula’s alarm, rather likes the idea of being God.

Soon, Becker is pouring salt and sugar into the cooling tank, all in an attempt to speed up Grok’s evolution.  Paula thinks that Becker is moving too quickly.  Eventually, a giant version of Grok (imagine a slimy version of the killer carpet from The Creeping Terror) materializes in the lab and attacks Paula.  Paula destroys it and Becker, realizing the Paula also means to destroy the rest of Grok, responds by killing her.  Becker, thinking that he has saved Grok, does not realize that Grok is planning on using him to destroy the human race.

I had a bit of a hard time following the plot of this episode, as you may have guessed from the somewhat jumbled synopsis above.  This episode of Monsters is an homage to the B-science fiction films of the 50s and 60s and, as such, there’s a lot of technobabble which doesn’t make much sense but which is there so the viewer can at least pretend like the story is rooted in some sort of reality.  In this case, the incoherence is the point.

The casting of former teen idol Troy Donahue as the professor is another call back to the 50s.  After Donahue’s star faded, he appeared in his share of low-budget horror and sci-fi films.  Donahue gives a good performance here, doing a nice job of portraying Dr. Becker’s growing megalomania.  (That said, whenever anyone referred to him as “Becker,” I was reminded of that terrible Ted Danson show where he played the doctor who was always pissed off whenever he got off the subway.)

As for the episode’s monster, it looked awful and fake but again, one gets the feeling that was deliberate.  To be honest, it didn’t look any worse than some of the monsters that showed up in Roger Corman’s alien invasion films.

This was an okay episode.  Even if I couldn’t always follow the plot, the story held my attention.  It was a well-done homage to cheap sci-fi, even if it never was quite as much fun as Plan 9 From Outer Space.