This what yet another week where I didn’t really watch any television, beyond the shows that I review for this site and also the weekly episode of Darkthat I watch with Case Writes. I’ve been busy getting ready for Monday, which is both St. Patrick’s Day and Kurt Russell’s birthday. But I have to admit that, even since my Dad passed away last year, watching silly reality shows hasn’t really appealed to me the way that it used to. I don’t how to explain it. I guess tastes change!
Anyway, maybe I’ll get caught up on Abbott Elementary, Survivor, and all the rest next week! I guess I’ll have to or else this weekly post is going to start to feel a bit superfluous!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show can be purchased on Prime.
Horshack makes a decision about his future.
Episode 4.20 “Oo-Oo I Do! Part One”
(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on May 25th, 1979)
Horshack is shocked to suddenly realize that he has a girlfriend. To be honest, I think everyone’s a little shocked. Horshack doesn’t exactly come across like someone that anyone would want to have a romantic relationship with. He’s not particularly handsome, he’s got that terrible voice, he’s got those weird personal habits, and he’s like 50 years old and still in high school.
Still, when Horshack learns that he’s going to be transferred to another school because his mother married a blackjack dealer in Atlantic City, Horshack asks Mary Johnson to marry him. And Mary says yes.
NO, MARY! RUN, MARY, RUN!
So, let’s just consider this. One reason why Gabe Kaplan refused to appear in much of season four is because the show’s producers refused to consider his suggestions that the Sweathogs should graduate high school and move on to City College. But the producers were totally willing to have Horshack get married while in high school. Sure, that makes sense. Admittedly, people do get married in high school but few of them would marry Arnold Horshack. Plus, most high school marriages — at least in my experience — involve an unexpected pregnancy and it’s hard to view Horshack as being anything other than asexual. He’s just too weird a character for a episode dealing with real things, like love and marriage. I could buy Epstein getting married. I could buy Washington getting married. Beau …. sure, I could buy that. What would have been really cool would have been if one of Travolta’s episodes had featured him getting married. Even better would have been an episode where Gabe and Julie got divorced. Seriously, it would have made more sense than someone voluntarily saying, “I want to spend the rest of my life with the school weirdo.”
This is the first part of a two-part episode. If I’m not saying much about this episode it’s because this episode was 75% Horshack and Horshack annoys the heck out of me. When the show began, he was weird but he wasn’t quite as cartoonish as he became in the third and fourth seasons. This whole marriage two-parter was apparently a backdoor pilot for a show about Horshack adjusting to married life. Seriously, out of all the Sweathog, that’s the one they wanted to spin-off?
(What’s annoying is that occasionally –– like in this episode where Horshack was drinking — Ron Palillo would get a chance to show that he actually wasn’t a terrible actor but the show’s writers usually did him absolutely no favors.)
This episode really showed how far the show had fallen. Horshack is getting transferred to a new school and Gabe is nowhere to be seen. Horshack is getting married and again, Gabe is nowhere to be seen. It’s Welcome Back, Horshack now and the Sweathogs are truly doomed.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!
This week …. hey, it’s a good episode!
Episode 3.6 “Bad Penny”
(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired October 30th, 1989)
The Coin of Ziocles returns! Last seen being used by a cult to raise the dead, the Coin is recovered from a construction site at the start of this episode. This turned out to be the best episode of the third season so far. Here’s a few reasons why:
First off, with this episode, Friday the 13th finally showed that it still remembered its own history. The last time Jack, Micki, and Ryan sought the coin, Micki was actually killed and remained dead until Ryan and Jack figured out how to use the coin to bring her back to life. With this episode, we discover that Micki has some serious PTSD as a result of the experience which actually makes a lot of sense. In the past, I’ve always felt this show tended to gloss over just how traumatizing it would be to deal with cursed antiques on a daily basis. With this episode, we see that Micki can’t even look at the site where she was killed without starting to shake. It was realistic and Robey did a great job portraying Micki’s emotions.
In yet another nod to continuity, Johnny stole the coin and used it to bring back his dead father. In the past, I’ve felt like Johnny was a bit too quick to accept the idea of the antiques being cursed. With this episode, we saw that the inexperienced Johnny doesn’t quite understand that danger of the cured antiques. Ryan, Micki, and Jack would never have made the mistake of using the antique or trusting anything that had once been owned by Uncle Lewis but Johnny is still learning.
Steve Monarque and Sean McCann both did excellent work as Johnny and his father. Needless to say, Johnny’s father is confused when he’s brought back from the dead. His struggle to understand what was happening brought tears to my eyes. It’s been less than a year since I lost my Dad. I’d probably do the same thing Johnny did. In the end, Johnny sent his father back into the afterlife. It was so sad!
Micki writes a letter to Ryan. It’s probably one that she won’t ever send but it’s good to see that the show at least acknowledged how difficult it would have been for her to say goodbye to Ryan.
By mentioning Ryan so much, this show actually made it easier for me to accept Johnny as his replacement. Over the past few episodes, I kind of resented how quickly Johnny seemed to be stepping into replace him. This episode showed me that Ryan is still loved.
The villains — a corrupt cop and his zombified partner — were a bit over-the-top but still entertaining. For once, this episode focused on our heroes and I was glad it did.
This was an excellent episode of Friday the 13th! I hope it’s a sign of things to come for the rest of the third season.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
It’s another day in Boston.
Episode 1.16 “Monday, Tuesday, Sven Day”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on March 1st, 1983)
It’s a busy day at St. Eligius. Here’s a breakdown:
The racial conflict is continuing. Putting a young white man and a young black man in the same hospital room leads to an all-out brawl. Some poor guy walking down the hall on a broken leg gets trampled in the melee. Agck!
A man in a crude astronaut’s uniform shows up at the ER. He doesn’t get any lines but his name tag identifies him as “J. Masius,” which is a reference to one of the show’s writers.
Oh, hey, it turns out that kid who claimed he was jumped by a bunch of black guys actually wasn’t jumped by a bunch of black guys. Instead, his father (Dick O’Neill) beat him up. Dr. Westphall threatens to beat up the kid’s dad. They may be old but they both grew up on the streets of Boston! What is it with old men from Boston and they’re need to threaten each other with fisticuffs?
Dr, Chandler hears another doctor make a racist remake and gets angry. “I keep forgetting he’s black,’ the doctor says.
Dr. Morrison apologizes on behalf of the racist doctor. Chandler tells Morrison that he’ll never understand what it’s like to be black. Morrison agrees but then points out that he only lives two blocks away from Chandler so he does understand what it’s like to live in a poor neighborhood. Uhmm….see, this is why I was kind of dreading watching this show try to deal with racism. St. Elsewhere has been a good show so far but well-intentioned TV writer liberalism is usually the cringiest liberalism there is.
Peter’s wife is pregnant. Peter is not the father. Peter asks a nurse for a loan so that he can pay his wife’s abortion.
By the way, Peter is sleeping with the nurse who unknowingly paid for his wife’s abortion.
There’s no way any of this is going to end well.
A sex worker comes in to get her appendix removed. “I love my job,” Fiscus says after telling her to undress. Ugh, what a pig. I get that guys say stuff like that when they’re talking to each other and that’s fine but you don’t say that to someone when they’re in terrible pain and in the emergency room.
Finally, the show’s best storyline featured Ehrlich going to party at Dr. Craig’s house for a visiting Scandinavian doctor named Sven. Ehrlich brings Shirley Daniels as his date and proceeds to have way too much to drink. This storyline was fun because it highlight William Daniels’s wonderfully sardonic portrayal of the abrasive Dr. Craig. I love that Ehrlich is both terrified of and desperate to impress him. Drunk Ed Begley, Jr. was definitely this episode’s highlight.
This was an okay episode. It wasn’t the most memorable that I’ve seen but I did enjoy that terrible party at Dr. Craig’s house. Terrible parties are always so much more fun to watch than good ones.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, not even the presence of the great James Earl Jones can save Highway to Heaven.
Episode 3.16 “A Song of Songs”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 21st, 1987)
Mark and Jonathan are driving out in the middle of nowhere, waiting for their next assignment. Mark is annoyed. He says he’s been driving for ten hours. Personally, I think Mark has every right to be annoyed. I’ve noticed that Jonathan never drives. Are angels not allowed to drive? Did he never learn how? It seems a bit self-centered to make Mark do all the driving.
Eventually, Jonathan and Mark stop off at a roadhouse. Mark order a huge amount of ribs. Jonathan smiles, even though Mark is going to give himself a heart attack if he’s not careful. By an amazing coincidence, an old friend of Mark’s is also at the roadhouse. Gabe (James Earl Jones) is a blind jazz pianist. He’s also this week’s assignment.
Jonathan and Mark are hired to work at a storefront church that is led by Eleanor (Rosalind Cash). Eleanor is strict and demanding and when her daughter (Akosua Busia) wants to go off on her own and perform her own type of music, Eleanor accuses her of only caring about “the devil’s music.” It turns out that Eleanor is also Gabe’s ex-girlfriend! Eleanor was not always so strict. Can Jonathan and Mark bring these two back together and also repair the relationship between Eleanor and her daughter?
Eh, this episode didn’t do much for me. I hate to say that because James Earl Jones was one of our best actors and he’s definitely the strongest thing about this episode but overall, the plot was a bit too predictable and both Rosalind Cash and Akosua Busia gave such over-the-top performances that it was hard to take their storyline seriously. This was Highway to Heaven at its most predictable and the episode didn’t even benefit from Michael Landon’s trademark earnestness. It just fell flat.
Oh well, there’s always next week. Maybe Mark will finally get a break from always having to do the driving! I wouldn’t count on it, though.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.
This week …. well, we’ll get to it in a minute.
Episode 2.5 “Off the Deep End”
(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 6th, 1999)
Well, this is embarrassing. I sat down, ready to face my weekly chore of watching the next episode of Malibu CA, and I promptly discovered that the fifth episode of season two has never been upload to YouTube.
Now, to be honest, this isn’t exactly a tragedy. I don’t particularly like this show and it’s not like my reviews of an obscure sitcom from the 90s are responsible for much of this site’s daily traffic. It does bother me as a completist. If I ever find a free copy of this episode, I’ll review it. But, to be honest, I’m not going to spend that much time looking.
Here’s the plot summary, via the imdb:
Peter has been ignoring Scott’s swim meets and now only three are left before the Olympic trials. Fearing that he’s doing the same thing to Scott now that he did to him when he was younger, Peter now tries to get as involved as possible. He’s taking care of Scott’s diet, hiring a masseuse, and making Jason do all the chores.
It’s tempting to try to review this episode without even watching it. I’ve seen enough of these Peter Engel-produced teen sitcoms that I can imagine almost everything that probably happens in the episode, from Scott getting angry at Peter for being overbearing to Peter apologizing for not having been there for Scott in the past to Jason coming up with some crazy scheme to try to get Murray to do all the chores for him. I’m pretty sure all of this happened to someone on Saved By The Bell: The New Class as well.
But no, I have my ethics. I’ll wait until I can actually watch the episode and I say that with the full knowledge that I may never see the episode. And I’m kind of okay with that.
Much as with my Love Boat reviews, I am preempting my review of the next episode Monsters until next week so that I can focus my energies on our upcoming St. Patrick’s Day/Kurt Russell’s birthday extravaganza.
Monsters, “our favorite show,” will return next week with a review of a Monsters take on A Christmas Carol.
Episode 11 of Shane opens with a group of outlaws making their way across the valley after pulling off a lucrative robbery. Needing a couple of days to lay low and rest their horses, they decide to take over Sam Grafton’s bar to drink and blow off some steam. They reason it’s a safe place to stay since there doesn’t appear to be any law in the area. Their leader is Reno (J.D. Cannon), with Augie (Skip Homeier) as his right-hand man, Grant (Daniel J. Travanti) as his enforcer, and a couple of others for good measure. Shane (David Carradine) and Marian (Jill Ireland) happen to be shopping in Sam’s general store when Reno and his men come into the bar. They can hear them breaking bottles and bullying Sam around in the next room. Sam comes into the general store and asks his employee Ben (Owen Bush) to ride out to Rufe Ryker’s ranch and ask him if he will come help with these guys. Soon the outlaws walk into the general store, where Shane and Reno immediately recognize each other. It seems the two gunslingers grew up together under the tutelage of an old man they called “The Wolf,” who taught them everything they know. Because Shane knows how skilled and dangerous Reno is, he asks Sam to let them stay for the next couple of days, and Reno agrees to pay Sam well for his trouble. Sam reluctantly agrees and Shane and Marian head back to the ranch.
A little later Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) and his men ride into town and enter Sam’s bar. Reno gets the drop on them and sends them back out with their tails between their legs. They regroup back at Ryker’s ranch and decide to go back to town and try force the outlaws out of the bar. On the way, Ryker stops off at the Starett’s ranch to try to convince Shane to help. Shane tells Ryker that the best thing he can do is leave Reno and his men alone and wait for them to leave in a couple of days. With his pride hurt, Ryker is in no mood for listening and heads to town anyway. When the shooting starts, Ryker and his men are caught in a deadly crossfire. Trying to retreat, Ryker is shot and severely injured by Reno. While Ryker tries to recover, his men decide they are going to stake out the bar so they can be in position to kill Reno and his men when they try to leave. Feeling trapped, Reno instructs a couple of his guys to go to the nearest ranch and get a hostage to help them with their escape. When the guys grab a local girl named Shirley and Marian, who was in the area looking for their cow Katrina at the same time, Shane finally decides to enter the fight against Reno. Their old mentor “The Wolf” always predicted that their relationship would end with one of them killing the other. It looks like he just may be right.
“The Day the Wolf Laughed” is my favorite episode of the TV series SHANE so far, as it really leans into Shane’s skills as a gunfighter and pits him against a man in Reno who’s every bit as skilled. When the two men first see each other in Sam’s general store you can tell that they really do respect each other. Reno goes so far as to tell Marian that “you have a good man. He’ll fight for you.” As soon as you hear those lines, you know Shane will end up having to prove those words to be true. Even though Shane spends most of the episode trying to convince other people that they just need to leave Reno alone, he doesn’t hesitate to take matters into his own hands the moment Marian is put in danger. This is the first episode of the series where Shane really lives up to the reputation that is always being hinted at in the series, and I loved it!
Episode 11 is also elevated by its game cast of guest stars. J.D. Cannon (DEATH WISH II) is an especially strong adversary for Shane. He can be extremely cold blooded, but he’s also respectful, somewhat likable, and you believe that his word means something. You almost hate it when the two end up squaring off at the end. Daniel J. Travanti (HILL STREET BLUES), with a thick mustache, is quite intimidating as the enforcer of the gang. He seems quiet and laid back until he’s called upon by Reno. His countenance then completely changes, and you don’t really want to be on the other side of his gun at that point in time. It was also nice seeing Skip Homeier show up as Reno’s right-hand man, Augie. Homeier appeared in the excellent 1957 Budd Boetticher/Randolph Scott western THE TALL T, and he provides good support here as well. As far as the main cast, David Carradine and Bert Freed take center stage in this episode, with both men doing a great job. Freed, in particular, has created a strong, complex character in Ryker over the course of the first 11 episodes, and I’ve actually grown to like him.
Overall, for a fan of badass western action, this episode was right down my alley. Shane and Marian may not have shared any long, lustful looks, but Shane proves his love by putting his life on the line for her against Reno’s gang. We only have 6 more episodes to go, and it will be fun to see where we go from here.
Hi, everyone! I’ve been doing weekly reviews of The Love Boat for a while. I really enjoying the series but I’m going to have to hold off on posting my next review until next week. That’s because the next episode is a two-hour musical spectacular and, as I’m busy getting things set up for our big St. Patrick’s Day/Kurt Russell’s birthday celebration on the 17th, I’m not going to have time to watch the whole thing until next week.
So, The Love Boat is preempted this week but it will return next week! We’ll set sail then!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Eh, who cares?
Episode 1.9 “Moving Target”
(Dir by Mickey Dolenz. originally aired on April 27th, 1996)
When TC’s former lover, ex-model Rebecca Reynard (Jacqueline Collen), is nearly shot by a mysterious gunman, TC takes it upon himself to serve as her bodyguard. Chris rolls her eyes because that’s how Chris reacts to every situation. We’re nine episodes in and Chris still doesn’t really have a personality beyond being perpetually annoyed. To the surprise of no one, Rebecca turns out to be hiding some deadly secrets of her own and TC comes to realize that his former and current lover is actually a stone cold sociopath. This is one of those traumatic developments that will probably never be mentioned again.
(I thought TC had a girlfriend. She was present in the pilot but has never been heard from since.)
Meanwhile, former boxer Victor returns to the ring to help Palermo win a bet against a smarmy lifeguard. The boxing storyline — which features Victor facing off against the one opponent who beat him during his previous pugilist career — was actually interesting. Too bad the show ended without actually revealing who won the big fight. I think we were supposed to be satisfied with the fact that Victor found the confidence necessary to step back into the ring. No, Pacific Blue. You haven’t earned the right to end on a note of ambiguity. Not yet.
This episode was directed by former Monkee Mickey Dolenz. Unfortunately, not even a Monkee can make cops on bikes look cool.
Through the Shattered Lens 