Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.27 and 28 “Country Music Jamboree”

Posted on November 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Love Boat goes a little bit country.

Episodes 6.27 and 6.28 “Country Music Jamboree”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on April 30th, 1983)

It’s the special, two-hour country music cruise!

I have to admit that I lost interest in this episode as soon as I saw the banner in the Love Boat lobby that read “County Music Jamboree.” Country music’s not my thing. I lost even more interest when Florence Henderson showed up as country singer Annabelle Folker. Florence Henderson was a frequent guest on both Fantasy Island and The Love Boat and I can’t think of a single time that I was ever happy to see her name in the credits. Whenever she appeared, she almost always seemed like she was trying too hard. Her performances always brought to mind dinner theater and holiday special guest spots.

Annabelle was traveling with her boyfriend (Bert Convy) and the three orphans (Michael Evans, Angela Lee Sloan, and Neil Billingsley) that she was planning on adopting. The problem was that her boyfriend didn’t want to adopt the kids. But then, he changed his mind because the show was nearly over and the storyline needed a happy ending. Seriously, the kids were obnoxious as Hell.

While that went on, singer Holly Hartmann (Jessica Walter) was upset to discover that her husband (Mel Tillis) was secretly writing songs for an up-and-coming singer named C.G. Thomas (Tanya Tucker). Holly was not happy when she found out but then she sang Stand By Your Man and that solved everything.

The Love Boat chef (Pat Buttram) was upset that his kitchen implements kept disappearing. That’s because Isaac, Doc, Gopher, and Julie were stealing them so that they could form a country-western band. Meanwhile, two fat people (Kenny Price and Lulu Roman) boarded the boat and never stopped eating.

(Don’t give me that look, I didn’t write the script.)

Effie Skaggs (Minnie Pearl) sold homemade elixirs from her cabin while Doc attempted to romance her granddaughter (Misty Rowe). When Effie got sick, she refused to accept any of Doc’s strange modern medicine. No antibiotics for Effie Skaggs!

Jeannie Davis (Beth Howland) feared that her husband (Steve Kanaly) would learn that her latest piece of jewelry was given to her by a man with whom she had an affair. A jewelry appraiser (Sherman Hemsley) insisted on finding out how much the jewelry was worth. Jeannie feared that her husband would suspect something was amiss when he discovered how expensive it really was. She begged the appraiser to lie about how much it was worth. The appraiser said that he could not risk damaging his reputation but then he decided to lie anyway.

Gopher and Isaac tried to get a picture with Dottie West (a singer who played herself) but Dottie just wanted to rest.

Is that it? Is that all of the storylines or is that just all my exhausted mind can remember? Seriously, this was a busy two-hour episode. It was an annoying episode too. Maybe I’d feel differently if I was into country music. Of the guest stars, Mel Tillis and Jessica Walter gave the best performances. Of the Love Boat crew, no one came out of this episode with their dignity intact.

This was a cruise to miss.

This cruise? This cruise was a perfect 10 out of 10 on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.16 “Baby On Demand/The Last Dogfight”

Posted on October 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!

This week, on Fantasy Island, it’s more of the same old same old.

Episode 7.16 “Baby on Demand/The Last Dogfight”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on March 10th, 1984)

Former “pop singer” Joanna Jones (Tanya Tucker) comes to Fantasy Island. She is no longer concerned with her musical artistry. (“If you can call that art,” Lawrence says — Lawrence, you bitch, you!) Now, she wants to have a baby but she doesn’t want to get married. Her fantasy is to get pregnant over the weekend and never have to see the guy again.

Okay, then. I mean, does she really have to go to Fantasy Island to have a one night stand? She’s a famous and wealthy woman so it just seems odd that apparently, this is something that only Mr. Roarke can make happen.

Mr. Roarke sets her up with Harley Batten (Dean Butler) but Joanna finds herself falling for Harley so she abandons him and instead hooks up with George, who is played by Mark Venturini. Venturini later played Vic in Friday the 13th Part V. Remember the guy with the axe who gets tired of Joey bothering him while he’s chopping wood? That was Mark Venturini!

By the end of the episode, Joanna has decided to take a chance on love and she leaves the Island with Harley. This fantasy just felt odd, largely because Tanya Tucker was a terrible actress and everyone on the show seemed to be embarrassed for her whenever she had to deliver her lines. I’m pretty sure that I saw both Dean Butler and Mark Venturini looking for an exit whenever Tucker started speaking.

As for the other story, it’s yet another aviation story. World War II flying aces Paul Spencer (Leigh McCloskey) and Hunter Richter (Grant Goodeve) are turned back into young men so that they can fly their airplanes over Fantasy Island and simulate a dogfight. However, Richter is haunted by the death of his wife at Dresden and, after discovering that Spencer’s wife (Leah Ayres) bears a strong resemblance to his late wife, Richter becomes determined to engage in actual combat. In the end, Spencer refuses to fight and Richter’s code of honor prevents him from shooting down a man who will not fire back. Because, of course, World War II-era Germans were famous for their sense of fair play….

The aviation story was, at least, well-acted. But it still felt very familiar. It was obvious that the show’s writers had run out of ideas. All in all, this was another disappointing Season 7 trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

Posted on October 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, The Love Boat hosts a special event!

Episode 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat is hosting a wine tasting competition!

Basically, the contestants sit in the ballroom. They take a sip of wine. They then write down what type of wine they think they just tasted. All of the members of the crew and the majority of the passengers watch them. Seriously, it looks like the most boring thing ever. I mean, I get why the competitors are into it. The winner gets a lot of money. But why would you want to watch people drink? I mean, if you’re crazy into wine, it seems like you’d want to drink it yourself. What fun is there in watching other people drink something? I’ll just say that, if I was on a cruise, I would want to do other things. I would want lay out by the pool or look at the ocean or maybe solve a murder. What I would not want to do would be to spend hours watching other people drink and then spit.

Also, I have to wonder about the wisdom of hosting a wine tasting competition on a ship that’s captained by a recovering alcoholic. Did the show forget this key part of the captain’s character? Merrill Stubing is a recovering alcoholic and he lives his life with the rigorous discipline of someone who is trying to avoid falling back into old habits. It would seem like Captain Stubing would at least mention his alcoholic past in this episode, especially after Vicki says that she wishes she could take part in the contest. Wouldn’t this be a good time for Stubing to explain that an addictive personality can be hereditary?

I know, I know. I’m overthinking. It’s just because I found this episode to be remarkably dull. I mean, I love The Love Boat but this episode was just boring. The whole wine tasting thing just put me to sleep.

It didn’t help that the three stories weren’t particularly interesting.

Robert Guillaume and Leslie Uggams played the two finalists in the wine tasting competition. They each lied to the other about why they needed the money. Then they fell in love and they each threw the competition so the other could win the money. But since they both got the last wine wrong, no one won and no money was awarded. Wow, wine tasting is a harsh sport!

Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin played a married couple who got divorced every year so that they could get a tax break. This time, they sailed to Mexico for a quickie divorce. Tucker’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Walden, was on the cruise and Tucker was tempted to stay divorced. However, she and Goodwin eventually decided to get married a sixth time and to never get divorced again. I liked this story solely because it was about screwing over the IRS.

Finally, Betty White wanted to marry Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. but he instead fell for Betty White’s friend, Carol Channing. No worries though! Fairbanks gave Betty White a job so that she would no longer have to marry for money.

It was all pretty boring. As I said, I love this show but this episode tasted as flat as a French wine from 1178.