Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.10 “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”

Posted on February 20, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This episode proves that Dr. Cavanero is the worst.

Episode 3.10 “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on November 28th, 1984)

The struggle is real.

Seriously, I am thankful that someone uploaded St. Elsewhere to Daily Motion. With the show no longer on Hulu and Prime only having the first season available, Daily Motion is pretty much the only place where I can stream the show. That said, the sound quality is not great. The sound quality wasn’t particularly good when the show was on Hulu either but at least then I could turn on the captions. The Daily Motion uploads don’t have that option. I had to strain to hear the dialogue and, as a result, this review is not going to be as in-depth as it could be.

What I can tell you is that Dr. Cavanero is now one of the least sympathetic characters that I have ever seen on a television show. Last week, Dr. Christine Holz (Caroline McWilliams) told Cavanero that she was a lesbian. This week, Cavanero blabbed that information around the hospital, leading to a lot of homophobic comments from certain members of the stuff. (Not surprisingly, Victor Ehrlich was there to say something stupid.) Cavenero admitted to Christine that she found Christine’s lifestyle to be “unnatural.” Christine smiled sadly and left Cavanero’s apartment and left the show. Keep in mind, Dr. Holz was portrayed as being a brilliant surgeon and bone marrow expert. It probably would have been good to keep her around the hospital for a little while but nope. Sorry. Dr. Cavanero — who really hasn’t done anything of note since the first season — felt uncomfortable.

(Originally, Christine and Cavanero were supposed to have a romantic relationship but Cynthia Sikes, the actress playing Cavavero, objected to the storyline. As a result, the story was rewritten and perhaps it’s not a coincidence that Cavanero comes across as being a bit of a homophobe.)

Meanwhile, Dr. Chandler was concerned when he discovered that a neighborhood woman (Beah Richards) was practicing medicine out of her apartment. This storyline at least gave Denzel Washington more to do than usual, which was good. St. Elsewhere, at least so far, has often tended to underuse both Chandler as a character and Washington as an actor.

Jack’s friend (John Schuck) insisted on doing an experimental kidney procedure to try to save the life of his daughter (Brandy Gold) and Dr. Auschlander finally gave his approval for it to be done. I would say that was a good thing except for the fact that Jack’s storylines hardly ever have a happy ending. There’s a reason why Morrison is the most depressed resident in the hospital.

Nurse Rosenthal continued her affair with Richard Clarendon, even though Richard’s wife (Beverly Sanders) is now working at the hospital. Wow, that’s going to be awkward. In fact, I hope it’s really awkward. I’m tired of Nurse Rosenthal and her holier-than-thou attitude.

Dr. Craig testified at a city council hearing. The poor sound quality kept me from fully understanding what the hearing was about but at Dr. Craig told everyone off. It’s always fun to watch William Daniels tell people off.

Here’s hoping the sound will be a bit less muddy next week!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.9 “Up On The Roof”

Posted on February 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, an arrest is made.

Episode 3.9 “Up On The Roof”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on November 21st, 1984)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

The last of the firemen (Stephen Elliott) is finally sent home. At first, he’s bitter about all of the skin grafts and all the other work that Dr. Caldwell did on him. But then his grandkids come in the hospital and room and shout, “Grandpa!” And then he steps outside and is greeted by all the other firemen. He leaves in a fire truck and Dr. Caldwell — the only angst-free doctor at St. Eligius — smiles and waves. Finally, someone on this show gets a happy ending.
Ms. Hufnagel continues to get on everyone’s nerves with her constant complaints. Dr. Fiscus dumps her on Dr. Axelrod. While the show seems to want us to be as annoyed with Ms. Hufnagel as everyone else, I have to admit that I feel sorry for her. Does she complain a lot? Yes, she does. But being in a hospital can really be scary. I complained a lot whenever I was rushed to the ER because of my asthma. I complained a lot when my mom was in the hospital. I complained a lot when my dad was in the hospital. I complained a lot when my aunt was in the hospital. Sometimes, complaining is the only comfort you have.
Dr. Morrison is upset when a friend (John Schuck) is told that his daughter cannot be treated with an experimental dialysis machine.
Nurse Rosenthal continues to have an affair with Richard Clarendon, the labor negotiator.
Dr. Christine Holz (Caroline McWilliams) comes to the hospital to perform a bone marrow transplant. Dr. Annie Cavanero invites Dr. Holz to come to her place for dinner. Cavanero is shocked when Dr. Holz reveals that she’s a lesbian and the viewer is once again reminded that this show aired in the mid-80s.
According to what I’ve read online, the original plan was for Dr. Holz to become Cavanero’s romantic partner but Cynthia Sikes refused to kiss another woman onscreen. This led to the storyline being hastily rewritten and it apparently also led to Sikes being fired from the show at the end of the third season.
Kathy Martin is still in the psych ward. When Detective Alex MacGallen (Charles Lanyer) attempts to question her about where she was when Peter White was shot, he is informed by Kathy’s doctor that Kathy has an alibi. Later, Shirley comes to the psych ward and slips Kathy a letter.
Shirley has been hiding the gun that she used to shoot Peter all over the hospital. However, when the detective finally confronts her and reveals that he knows that she killed Peter, Shirley pulls the gun on him and then run up to the rooftop.
On the roof, Dr. Westphall and Jack take their turns trying to convince Shirley to surrender to the police. After Shirley confesses and then demands to know why Jack didn’t make more of an effort to stop Peter, Shirley drops her gun and is taken into custody.

This was a depressing episode, even by the standards of St. Elsewhere. Shirley has always been one of my favorite characters and I hate the idea that she’s now going to go to prison for killing Dr. White. From a narrative point of view, someone had to shoot Peter. That was really the only way his story could end. Personally, I think it would have made more sense for Dr. Cavanero to be the shooter that Shirley. I mean, if Cavanero was going to be written off the show anyway, killing Dr. White would have given her a decent exit.

Next week, I’m sure something else depressing will happen. We’ll see!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.8 “Sweet Dreams”

Posted on February 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I miss when this show on Hulu and available to rent on Prime. The Daily Motion uploads are not the best (especially where sound quality is concerned) but, for now at least, that’s what I’m having to go with.

Episode 3.8 “Sweet Dreams”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 14th, 1984)

This week’s episode was all about sleep and the dreams that might come with sleep.

Westphall, as usual, gets the most depressing storyline. He can’t sleep. He has insomnia. Of course, he does. Anything depressing that doesn’t happen to Dr. Morrison will inevitably happen to Dr. Westphall instead.

Dr. Craig tries to figure out why one of his patients died in his sleep with a terrified look on his face. Can a nightmare cause someone to have a heart attack?

Dr. Cavanero diagnoses a man with sleep apnea.

Meanwhile, we get a peek at the dreams of three members of the St. Elsewhere staff.

Luther dreams of being kicked out of the hospital by two security guards. Fortunately, ZZ Top is standing outside of the hospital and they order three women to kidnap Luther in a big red car and turn him into a sharp-dressed man. Luther and his new friends invade the hospital, toss out the security guards, and invite Warren Coolidge to come hang out with them. ZZ Top performs Legs, which seems odd since the song is about a woman who has legs and knows how to use them but Luther is the one getting the makeover. Well, whatever. It’s a cute dream and a nice break from Dr. Westphall looking depressed.

Both Victor and Jack agree to take part in a sleep study. Victor is yanked out of the study by Dr. Craig but, before that happens, we do get to see Victor’s dream of washing up on an island that is ruled by Amazons.

As for Jack Morrison’s recurring dream, it’s just about as dark as you would expect when it comes to the only character who has suffered more heartache than Dr. Westphall. In Morrison’s dream, he finds himself wandering around the deserted hospital. He hears someone playing Led Zeppelin in the morgue. He goes down there and discovers Peter White waiting for him.

Morrison and White speak. Even in death, White is whiny and defensive. Morrison repeatedly asks whether or not White was the ski mask rapist and, every time, White refuses to give a direct answer. However, when Morrison is about to leave the morgue, White is suddenly wearing a blue ski mask. Morrison wakes up from each dream with a jolt, terrified to face the truth about the man who he defended against his better judgment.

(I have to admit that, if I was a nurse or a doctor at St. Eligius, I would have mixed feelings about Morrison. Yes, he seems to be well-meaning and he’s suffered his share of tragedy. But the fact that he continued to be a friend — albeit with a certain ambivalence — to Dr. White would make me very uncomfortable. I know that Morrison would probably point out that Dr. White was acquitted but everyone at the hospital knew he was guilty. Everyone but Morrison, apparently.)

This was a good episode and a bit of a reset after all the drama of the Peter White storyline. Well-directed, well-acted, and very atmospheric, this was St. Elsewhere at its best.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.2 “Playing God: Part Two”

Posted on November 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the hospital is a depressing place.

Episode 3.2 “Playing God: Part Two”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on September 26th, 1984)

There was a lot going on in this episode.

Sister Domenica demanded that Sister Theresa be taken off of life support and she threatened to sue the hospital if it didn’t happen. This led to Dr. Westphall telling another long and depressing story about his dead wife. I don’t mean to be flippant about anyone’s tragedies but it’s hard not to notice that almost everything seems to lead to Westphall telling a depressing story. Westphall is one of the most saddest television characters that I’ve ever come across.

The nurses are closer to striking. A labor negotiator named Richard Clarendon (Herb Edelman) is brought in by the nurses and it’s hard not to notice that he looks a lot like Helen Rosenthal’s ex-husband. I think I can already guess where this is heading.

A sick child was brought in by a woman (Tammy Grimes) who claimed to be his fairy godmother. This gave Fiscus an excuse to get a consultation from Kathy Martin, who has abandoned the morgue for psychiatry and who is no longer dressing exclusively in black.

At home, Dr. Craig struggled with impotence. At the hospital, Dr. Ehrlich gave an awkward lecture about whether or not one can have sex after heart surgery.

The firefighters are still recovering from their burns.

Clancy got an abortion, despite Morrison’s objections.

And yet, all that drama was overshadowed by the fact that the Dr. Peter White — the drug-addicted rapist who nearly killed more than a few patients due to his own incompetence — is once again walking the halls of St. Eligius. White won his lawsuit. I’m not really sure that I understand what the basis of his lawsuit was. St. Eligius could only ask a select number of residents to return and, even if you overlook the fact that White was accused of rape, it’s not as if Dr. White was ever an especially competent doctor. It would seem that just his struggle with drug addiction would be enough to justify not asking him to return. And yet, somehow, Dr. Peter White is once again a resident at St. Eligius. (The ruling was probably handed down by a Carter judge.)

“You just can’t admit that you were wrong about me!” White snaps at Westphall.

Westphall replies that White is a terrible human being and not worthy of being a doctor and that he will not be allowed to work with any patients at the hospital. And, for once, I wanted to cheer Dr. Westphall. He may be depressing but he understands exactly who and what Peter White is.

Whatever the future may hold for the hospital, I have a feeling that it’s not going to be happy. Two episodes in and the third season has already settled into a pit of melancholy. That said, melancholy is perhaps the right mood for a medical show. When it comes to hospitals, there aren’t many happy endings.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.1 “Playing God, Part One”

Posted on November 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we start the third season of St. Elsewhere with some new opening credits!

Episode 3.1 “Playing God, Part One”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on September 19th, 1984)

The opening of the third season finds that St. Eligius is just as depressing as it’s ever been.

Fiscus leads a group of new residents, including Dr. Elliott Axelrod (played by new series regular Stephen Furst), through the hospital. Fiscus comes across as being an arrogant jackass. I guess that’s the appeal of being a second-year resident. You get to look down on all of the first-years.

Jack is still dating Clancy (young Helen Hunt). When Clancy tells Jack that she’s pregnant, he’s shocked when she says she’s planning on getting an abortion. Jack proposes to her. Clancy says she’s not ready to get married and she’s not ready to have a baby.

Dr. Craig is still yelling at Dr. Ehrlich. Dr. Ehrlich is still annoying the nurses.

Speaking of the nurses, they’re going on strike!

Three firefighters (one of whom is played by Erin Hudson) are injured while on the job and are rushed to St. Eligius with severe burns. Luckily, plastic surgeon Bobby Caldwell (Mark Harmon, without that terrible mustache he wore during season two) is on call.

Dr. Peter White is working in a shady clinic and is still suing for his right to be a resident.

A traffic accident leaves one nun in a coma and apparently brain-dead. Sister Doemnica (Michael Learned) wants to take her off life-support. Westphall (Ed Flanders), who seems even more depressed than usual, disagrees. It looks like there’s going to be some conflict about this. For once, I’m on Westphall’s side. I’m believer in hope.

Auschlander is still battling his cancer.

In other words, it’s another day at St. Eligius. The third season premiere did a good job of re-introducing viewers to the hospital. The snarkiness of Fiscus’s tour nicely balanced all of the more dramatic moments in the episode. If anything has me worried, it’s the possible return of the loathsome Peter White. How is the hospital going to deal with the return of a man who they all know is a rapist, even if he was somehow acquitted? I guess we’ll find out.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.22 “Hello, Goodbye”

Posted on October 31, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, season two comes to an end.

Episode 2.22 “Hello, Goodbye”

(Dir by Linda Day, originally aired on May 16th, 1984)

Due to St. Eligius being structurally unsound, the first floor is temporarily closed. The ER, which was the busiest part of the hospital, is no longer operative and Shirley Daniels is assigned to redirect any and all ambulances to Boston General. As Joan explains it, either the first or the third floor had to be closed so that a team of engineers could strengthen the building. The third floor is surgery, where all the money is made. And so, it’s the ER that closes. Joan, meanwhile, is designated as the scapegoat for all of the recent problems at St. Eligius. She loses her job with the mayor’s office.

Fresh from interviewing a nervous Dr. Elliott Axelrod (Stephen Furst) for a position as a resident, Dr. Auschlander collapses. Dr. Westphall fears that his old friend is going to die but finally, Auschlander wakes up and says that he’s not done fighting yet. Neither is St. Eligius.

Luther finds a stuffed Cheshire cat for a young heart patient. Dr. Craig finally starts to forgive his drug addict son, Stephen (Scott Paulin). And Dr. Morrison takes his son on a walking tour of Boston and meets a college student named Clancy (a young Helen Hunt). Even though Clancy label Morrison a “boomer,” she still spends the night with him. Morrison finally takes off his wedding ring and appears ready to try to move on with his life.

The second season ends on a melancholy note. Apparently, the show’s producers weren’t sure whether or not St. Elsewhere was going to be renewed for a third season and this episode was designed to work as both a season and a series finale. Very few of the regular characters appear and the episode is dominated by Westphall and Morrison, both of whom tend to be rather somber. In other words, this is a depressing episode but it’s not an episode without hope. Auschlander does wake up. Morrison does pursue a tentative relationship with Clancy. Even with the hospital temporarily shut down, life goes on. Unlike Wendy Armstrong, nobody gives up. It’s sad but at least there’s a chance that things could get better.

Both this episode and the second season overall were a roller coaster, deftly mixing drama and comedy and giving the show’s ensemble cast a chance to shine. Next week, we start season three!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.18 “Equinox”

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Peter White returns to the hospital.

Episode 2.18 “Equinox”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on March 14th, 1984)

A college student (Thomas Byrd) comes in after taking a hit to the groin during a touch football game. It turns out that he might have testicular cancer and it falls to Dr. Cavanero to let him know that he will soon be down a ball.

Dr. Chandler is upset when his new girlfriend prefers to hang out with Luther. Chandler accuses Luther of “shuckin’ and jivin’.” Chandler’s girlfriend dumps him for being “mean.” In a well-acted scene, Chandler talks to Morrison about how he’s expected to act one way as a black man and another way as a black doctor.

Fiscus makes the mistake of giving Elliott Axlerod (Stephen Furst) his lucky baseball cap. Axelrod spills a urine sample on it and then accidentally sets the hat on fire while attempting to dry it. Axlerod is having a terrible day until a man dressed like Paul Revere brings his horse into the ER for treatment. It turns out that Axlerod’s father was veterinarian. Axlerod cures the horse but he still has to get Fiscus a new hat.

Finally, Dr. White returns. His charges have been reduced from attempted rape to assault. Wendy Armstrong is not happy and starts to binge eat. (And yet, as several nurses point out, she doesn’t gain a pound. We all know what that means….) When Kathy Martin sees Peter in the cafeteria, she yells that he raped her. “You’re crazy,” Peter lies.

The episode ends with Dr. Chandler going for a run outside, stopping, and screaming into the air.

This episode was a bit uneven. The Axlerod story worked because of the likability of Stephen Furst and not because the story itself was particularly clever. The Philip Chandler/Jack Morrison conversation was the highlight of the episode, though the ending with Chandler screaming into the void was a bit overdone.

As for Dr. White, I’ve reached the point where I can’t even stand to look at him and I feel foolish for having any sympathy for him earlier in the season. Hopefully, this season will end with Dr. White going to prison for life because I’m not sure how many more episodes I can handle of him wandering around the hospital with that smug look on his face.

Seriously, St. Elsewhere, take care of this guy soon….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.8 “All About Eve”

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, everyone’s got the blues.

Episode 2.8 “All About Eve”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on December 14th, 1983)

What a depressing episode!

With tension rising between Boston’s Catholics and its Protestants, threats are being called into the hospital because young Protestant Eddie Carson (Eric Stoltz) is still a patient. (Last week, I assumed Eddie was Catholic but apparently, he’s supposed to be a Protestant. I also assumed his parents were blown up in the pub bombing. In this episode, it was made clear that the victims were his aunt and uncle.) A group of masked, IRA-style terrorists break into Joan Halloran’s home. Joan’s gone at the time but Bobby Caldwell is in the shower and he ends up getting beaten into unconsciousness.

(Wow, did someone on the writing staff have an issue with Irish Catholics?)

Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall has to explain to his several autistic son Tommy (Chad Allen) that their beloved housekeeper has quit and moved away. Westphall’s daughter says she’s going to skip college and stay home to help take care of her brother. While I’ve always known that the widowed Westphall had an autistic son, this was the first episode to actually show us Westphall interacting with Tommy. And, with no disrespect meant to the autistic community, I can understand why Westphall always seems so depressed. Tommy runs and hides in a corner. Tommy hits his father. Tommy demands to know if everyone is going to leave him. By the end of the episode, Westphall was exhausted and I was even more exhausted from watching him.

But Westphall’s angst was not the most depressing thing about this episode. On top of everything else, Eve Leighton died! She didn’t die as a result of the heart that Dr. Craig transplanted into her. The heart was working fine. Instead, the rest of Eve’s body gave out. Being in the hospital initially saved her life but it also shut her off from everything that inspired her to keep living. Dr. Craig was in surgery when Eve coded. By the time he was able to get to her room, she was already gone. And with Eve’s death, that also means that the heart that once belonged to Morrison’s wife is gone as well.

I mean, seriously …. GOOD LORD! It was a well-acted episode. Both William Daniels and Ed Flanders broke my heart. But I seriously had to rewatch Happy Gilmore after watching this show. That’s how depressed it left me!

But that’s life and death in a hospital. Every hospital is home to hundreds of different stories and the majority of them do not have happy endings.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.2 “Lust Et Veritas”

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, St. Eligius gets a new plastic surgeon.

Episode 2.2 “Lust Et Veritas”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 2nd, 1982)

This episode sees the addition of two new doctors to the hospital’s staff and they’re both played by familiar actors. Elliott Axlerod is played by Stephen Furst. He’s a new resident and obviously terrified of screwing up in the ER. He asks Ehrlich and Fiscus for advice. When told that he’s required to perform a rectal exam on every patient, he asks, “Is it too late to go to law school?” Ehrlich assures him that it is.

(It’s never too late!)

Secondly, Mark Harmon joins the cast as plastic surgeon Bobby Caldwell and not even a porn star mustache can obscure the fact that young Mark Harmon was amazingly hot. (Actually, old Mark Harmon isn’t that bad either. He aged well.) Bobby, we learn, was brought to St. Eligius by Dr. Craig. He’s cocky and confident and it’s obvious that he loves being lusted after by Dr. Armstrong and Nurse Daniels. However, he already has a secret lover as this episode finds him showering with Joan Halloran, the city hall bureaucrat who spends most of her time arguing with Dr. Craig about whether or not to shut down one of the hospital’s non-profit programs.

Dr. Craig is nervous because he’s waiting for a heart to become available so he can perform his first transplant on Eve Leighton (Marian Mercer), a teacher who wants to get back into her classroom as soon as possible. Ehrlich is nervous because Craig is taking all of his frustrations. and his nervousness out on him.

Meanwhile, Jerry Singleton (Alan Arkin), the demanding husband of stroke-victim Fran (Piper Laurie), continued to push his wife to recover until finally, at the end of the episode, she yelled that he was pushing her too hard. It was a heart-breaking moment. Jerry thinks that he’s helping his wife but, as this episode showed, he’s actually been torturing her with his overbearing demands that she hurry up and get better.

Finally, a former resident named Barry Dorn (Peter Horton) returns to the hospital to try to convince Dr. Cavanero to change her negative evaluation of his job performance. Everyone acts as if Barry was a character on the show during the previous season, even though he wasn’t. It’s even revealed that he is Wendy Armstrong’s former boyfriend. When Cavanero refuses to change her evaluation, Armstrong accuses her of not having any feelings. (Seriously, Armstrong is the worst!) Even worse, when Cavanero heads to the doctor’s lounge, she finds Barry waiting for her. Barry punches her, busting open her lower lip. Armstrong stitches up the cut and then says that Cavanero is lucky because now, she’ll have an excuse to meet Dr. Caldwell! Armstrong then offers a half-hearted apology for previously accusing Cavanero of being heartless. (Again, Armstrong is the worst!!!!)

This wasn’t a bad episode. Mark Harmon and Stephen Furst seem like they’ll be good additions to the show’s ensemble. The Barry story felt a bit odd, just because Barry was apparently present but 0ff-camera during the entire first season. It sounds like Barry went through a lot of the same things that Peter White went through during the first season and Peter was not present in this episode. There’s a part of me that suspects that Barry was originally meant to be Peter but the show’s producers obviously decided they wanted to keep Peter around for a bit longer.

Next week …. well, I have no idea how things are going to develop. There’s a lot going on in this hospital. We’ll see what happens.

SILENT RAGE – Revisiting the Chuck Norris film from my youth.

Posted on December 4, 2024 by Bradley Crain

SILENT RAGE is one of those movies that I watched quite a bit as a kid, and I thought it was pretty scary. Fox-16 out of Little Rock played it quite often. We didn’t have cable in Toad Suck so I’d watch whatever movies that were playing, especially if they had action. I’d say my initial interest and appreciation for Chuck Norris began with this film, and I still watch Chuck quite a bit to this day. With that said, I’m not sure I’ve watched SILENT RAGE again since I was a teenager. If I’m going to watch Chuck, I’ll generally watch CODE OF SILENCE, LONE WOLF MCQUADE, MISSING IN ACTION, INVASION USA, THE DELTA FORCE, or even FIREWALKER or HERO AND THE TERROR. But this week, I was browsing through Tubi and saw my childhood friend SILENT RAGE and decided to give it another spin.

SILENT RAGE opens in a wild household. John Kirby (Brian Libby) is awakened from his sleep by a kid wearing a Stormtrooper mask and shooting him with a laser gun. The kid tells Kirby he’s got a phone call. Kirby is clearly not doing well. He’s making strange sounds and his body movements are as funky as hell. Add to this situation, wild kids running around the house and a woman, who I’m guessing is their mom, screaming at them. To say this woman’s voice is annoying as she screams at the kids would possibly be my understatement of 2024. When Kirby answers the phone he tells the unseen doctor on the other end of the line, “I’m losin’ it, Doc! I’m not gonna make it” and he hangs up. I have to admit I’m understanding of Kirby at this point. I’ve only witnessed the activities of that house for a couple of minutes and I’m losin’ it! So in what seems like a reasonable move at the time, Kirby goes outside to the woodpile, grabs an axe, and then walks back into the house and confronts the loud lady. She immediately begins screaming in fear and runs upstairs and locks herself into the bedroom. Her fear scream is probably twice as annoying as her “screaming at kids” voice. Prior to Kirby chopping down the door with his axe, she’s able to scream out the window to a passing mailman for help. Soon after this message to the mailman, Kirby puts the lady, and the audience, out of our collective misery.

In what is possibly the fastest response time in law enforcement history, a blazer immediately pulls up front and sheriff Dan Stevens (Chuck Norris) emerges from the passenger side. From this point forward, I will disregard his character name and refer to him as Chuck Norris. Every other person will be referred to as their characters’ names. I thought Norris was cool in SILENT RAGE when I was a kid, and I must admit I still think he’s pretty awesome as he calmly walks into the house where John Kirby has just committed multiple murders. After a few minutes, Kirby attacks Norris. The two men scuffle, but Kirby is able to break free and jump out the upstairs window onto the ground and run into the woods. Norris follows and is immediately almost shot by his deputy, Charlie (Stephen Furst). Quick tangent – it may seem strange at first to think of Stephen Furst (Kent Dorfman from ANIMAL HOUSE) as Norris’ deputy, and after watching the film again, I’ll go ahead and agree that it is a strange choice. He basically plays a goofy guy who has no business in law enforcement and that is made abundantly clear throughout the film. Back to the woods we go where Norris, after barely escaping being shot in the head by Charlie, engages in an additional fight with Kirby. He’s able to subdue the murderer and handcuff him. Now in the back of the cop car, Kirby breaks out of his handcuffs, kicks open the door and begins attacking various men with guns. It’s at this point that he’s shot about 14 times. He should be dead at this point, but I do understand for the sake of running time, that there will be additional plot developments.

These additional plot developments arrive in the form of doctors operating on John Kirby to try to save his life. Fortunately, nature takes its course and Kirby dies, or so we think. It seems that Dr. Phillip Spires (Steven Keats) has a god complex and administers an experimental serum that brings Kirby back to life. Not only that, at the dosage he’s being given, it turns him into an indestructible killing machine. Dr. Tom Halman (Ron Silver) is the voice of reason who tries to convince Dr. Spires to let him die, but to no avail. Dr. Spires is doing this for science and mankind and secretly keeps Kirby alive with Doctor Paul Vaughn (William Finley). The two men think they can control him, but of course they’re wrong. Alive, and now superhuman, Kirby escapes to wreak havoc. And only one man can stop the indestructible, superhuman killing machine, and that man’s name is Chuck Norris.

Just a few additional thoughts before I close. First, Toni Kalem plays Chuck’s love interest, Alison, in the film. His relationship with her does slightly take away from his cool factor as they make love at one point to the cheesiest, corniest 80’s song called “A Time for Love.” She also has an extremely annoying scream voice herself when Kirby comes after her at the end. Second, the cool factor is almost completely restored when Chuck takes on a bar full of drunken, violent bikers and single-handedly destroys them. I think it’s nice of the 22 bikers to come at Chuck one at a time. It would have been a lot harder for him to take on 22 people diving on him at the same time. Third, I stated earlier that the power-crazed Dr. Phillip Spires was played by actor Steven Keats. For those who follow the film career of Charles Bronson like I do, you will immediately recognize Keats as the same actor who played Paul Kersey’s son-in-law in DEATH WISH. In SILENT RAGE he’s a narcissistic jerk, in DEATH WISH he’s a whiny wuss. That’s a solid 1-2 fist-punch of un-likability, Steven!!

I did enjoy the nostalgia factor of re-watching SILENT RAGE after many years. And Chuck Norris getting out of that blazer to go after John Kirby at the beginning of the film was still cool. There were a few things already mentioned above that bothered me more now than they did when I was a kid, but at the end of the day, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris. And I will always enjoy Chuck Norris!