Horror Film Review: Alligator (dir by Lewis Teague)

Posted on October 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1980’s Alligator begins in 1968. While on vacation in Florida, a teenage girl named Marisa Kendall purchases a baby alligator named Ramon. When she returns home to Chicago, her jerk of a father flushes Ramon down the toilet.

12 years pass. Marisa (Robin Riker) becomes a herpetologist. As for Ramon, he actually survives being flushed down the toilet and thrives in the sewer. He eats the carcasses of animals that had been a part of an experiment involving a growth serum. The serum had the desired effect of making the animals bigger but it also increased their metabolism to the extent that they became aggressive and had to eat constantly. Evil industrialist Slade (Dean Jagger) is convinced that, by tossing the carcasses in the sewer, he’s ensured that no one will ever find out about the experiments. Instead, he’s turned Ramon into a giant alligator who is always hungry. Soon, the super-intelligent alligator is ambushing and eating sewer workers.

Burned-out Detective Dave Madison (Robert Forster) teams up with Marisa to solve the mystery of why so many body parts are turning up in the sewers. It’s not easy. No one wants to admit that there might be a giant alligator living under the city. Everyone wants to believe that’s just an urban legend. But, after a tabloid reporter (Bart Braverman) manages to snap a few photographs of Ramon before being devoured, the police are forced to deal with the fact that they’ve got an alligator on their hands. As Slade continues to try to cover up his involvement, big game hunter Colonel Brock (Henry Silva) comes to town and announces that he will be capturing the alligator.

Directed by Lewis Teague and written by John Sayles, Alligator is a dark comedy disguised as a horror film. While numerous people get eaten and the film ends on a properly ominous note, Alligator is obviously not meant to be taken seriously. The cast is full of good actors who send up their own images. That’s especially true in the case of Henry Silva, who appears to be having a blast as the hyper macho Colonel Brock. Robert Forster, meanwhile, delivers his lines with a self-aware weariness that seems a bit more appropriate for a noir hero than a film about a detective investigating a giant alligator. One reason why the film works is because Forster, Silva, and the rest of the cast understood exactly what type of film they were appearing in and they delivered their overheated lines with just enough wit to let the viewer know that the film was in on the joke. The big and somewhat stiff-looking alligator may not look entirely real and it may move somewhat awkwardly but ultimately, it’s the most likable character in the movie. It just wants to relax in the sewers but, every few minutes, someone else is bugging him.

When first released, Alligator struggled at the box office but it has since gone on to become a cult favorite. Quentin Tarantino is a self-described fan and he had said he was inspired to cast Robert Forster as Max Cherry in Jackie Brown after seeing him as Dave Madison in this film. That’s not bad for a movie about a giant alligator!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.15 “Ponch’s Angels: Part Two”

Posted on September 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch continues to train Melanie and Paula.

Episode 4.15 “Ponch’s Angels: Part Two”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on March 1st, 1981)

We pick up where we stopped last week. A man and his girlfriend are stealing purses and wallets at the marina. Three escaped convicts are in a deserted house and digging for buried treasure. Ponch and Jon are having to train two new motorcycle cops, Paula (Barbara Stock) and Melanie (Trisha Townsend). When last we checked in, Ponch was kissing Melanie. This episode opens with Ponch telling Melanie that they can never kiss again.

Ponch and Baker continue to train Paula and Melanie. Ponch decides to switch with Baker. He trains Paula while Baker works with Melanie. But then almost the entire highway patrol comes down with the flu and, when Baker is put in charge while Getraer recovers at home, Ponch finds himself to work with both Paula and Melanie. Once again, it’s all on Ponch because it’s The Ponch Show!

It’s all a bit exhausting to try to keep up with, to be honest. Ponch and Baker spend this episode wondering whether or not women actually could handle being motorcycle cops. Baker especially seems to be confused at the idea of a woman driving a motorcycle. One gets the feeling that Ponch is just mad because he knows he’ll get fired if he tries to make a move on either woman. Almost this entire episode is made up of Ponch trying to keep track of who is riding with who.

Luckily, Paula and Melanie prove themselves by catching the purse snatchers and also helping to catch the escaped convicts. Good for them! At the end of the opposite, they toss their motorcycle helmets in the air and leap for joy. The picture freezes while Ponch and Baker have a good laugh.

I was not surprised to read that this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a Paula/Melanie show. Stock and Townsend were both likable and they acted well opposite each other so I could actually imagine them starring in a fairly entertaining series. It didn’t happen, though. Maybe the network felt that Ponch and Jon didn’t need the competition.

This was an okay episode of The Ponch Show.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.14 “Ponch’s Angels: Part 1”

Posted on September 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch protests having to do his job.

Episode 4.14 “Ponch’s Angels: Part 1”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

It’s a busy week for the Highway Patrol! The marina is full of tourists and carnival-goers. A group of escaped convicts are trying to get out of town. A man and his partner are stealing purses. But all of that pales in comparison to what Jon and Ponch are having to do.

Jon and Ponch are having to train rookies!

Even worse, from their perspective …. the rookies are women!

Ponch protests when he’s given the assignment to train enthusiastic and blonde Melanie Mitchell (Trisha Townsend). He tells Getraer that Melanie is attractive and that Getraer knows what happens when Ponch gets around attractive women. Getraer replies that he wants Ponch to train Melanie precisely because Ponch has so many girlfriends. A man with many girlfriends will be less likely to be tempted. Okay, Getraer, that’s interesting logic….

And it turns out that Getraer doesn’t know what he’s talking about because this episode ends with Ponch and Melania passionately locking lips. “TO BE CONTINUED” flashes on the screen so I guess we’ll get to the disciplinary hearing and the subsequent lawsuit next week.

As for Jon, he trains Paula Woods (Barbara Stock), who is as cool and reasonable as Melanie is enthusiastic and impulsive. Paula tries to flirt with Jon but Jon keeps it all business because Jon is capable of actually doing his job in a professional manner.

What’s odd about this episode is that it’s called Ponch’s Angels, even though Ponch is only training one of the new motorcycle cops. This season, even the episode titles were all about erasing Jon Baker!

Anyway, as I mentioned, this is the first part of a two-parter. Apparently, this episode was actually a backdoor pilot for a series that would have focused on Melanie and Paula and it’s easy to see that Melanie was created to be another Ponch while Paula was created to be a female Jon. Next week, we’ll see if Paula and Melanie can make use of the lessons they were taught by Jon and Ponch.

Mike Hammer: Murder Takes All (1989, directed by John Nicollela)

Posted on March 9, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Entertainer Johnny Roman (Ed Winter, best-known as the crazed Colonel Flagg on M*A*S*H) sends an invitation to New York P.I. Mike Hammer (Stacy Keach), asking him to come to Vegas for a job. Hammer refuses. Vegas is not for him. He’s pure New York. So, someone has Hammer abducted and thrown out of an airplane over Vegas. Luckily, they gave Hammer a parachute. Unluckily, for them, Hammer is now in Las Vegas and he’s pissed off.

Johnny, who says he had nothing to do with the kidnapping and just wants Hammer to help him deal with a singer who has been stealing from him, is killed by an explosive device while hosting a telethon. Everyone suspects Hammer. When the singer that Hammer was supposed to investigate also turns up dead, Hammer is again suspected. Hammer has to clear his name while dealing with guest stars ranging from Lynda Carter to Michelle Phillips to Jim Carrey.

Stacy Keach was Mike Hammer for most of the 80s, playing Mickey Spillane’s notorious detective in a television series and in several made-for-TV movies, like this one. Television was an awkward fit for Mike Hammer, or at least Hammer the way he was imagined in the books. Mike Hammer was written to be a killer with his own brand of justice. He was not written to be a nice person. Instead, he was the brutal but intelligent warrior that you hoped would be on your side. The television version of Mike Hammer was considered to be violent for the era but the show still toned down Hammer’s signature brutality. Keach’s Hammer still killed people but he no longer gloated about it. Stacy Keach, with his trademark intensity, was a good pick for Mike Hammer, even if the show’s scripts often let him down.

This movie is hamstrung by the fact that it was made-for-TV. Hammer is not happy about being in Las Vegas but he can’t go off on the city in the same way that he would have in one of Mickey Spillane’s novels. Keach still gives a good and tough performance as Hammer, getting as close to the character as anyone could under the restrictions of 80s network television. The mystery is interesting, though Hammer doesn’t really solve it as much as he just waits until all the other suspects have been killed. The main attraction of this one is the amount of guest stars who show up. Lynda Carter is a great femme fatale and it’s always good to see Michelle Phillips, even in a small role. Jim Carrey, in his pre-In Living Color days, plays an accountant and does okay with a serious role.

Who could play Mike Hammer today? It’s hard to say. There aren’t many believably tough actors around anymore and even those who do seem like they could hold their own in a fight don’t have the gritty world-weariness that the character requires. (Just try to imagine Dwayne Johnson reenacting the end of I, the Jury.) A few years ago, I would have said Frank Grillo. In the 90s, Bruce Willis would have been the perfect Hammer. Today, though, Mike Hammer’s time may finally have passed.

Film Review: Prime Time (1977, directed by Bradley R. Swirnoff)

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

The great character actor Warren Oates appeared in a lot of fairly obscure movies but none are as obscure as Prime Time.

With a running time of barely 70 minutes, Prime Time is a comedic sketch film that was meant to capitalize on the then-recent success of The Groove Tube, Tunnelvision, The Kentucky Friend Movie, and the first season of Saturday Night Live. According to the Unknown Movies Page, Prime Time was financed independently and was picked up for distribution by Warner Bros. After the Warner execs saw the finished film, they decided it was unreleasable so the film’s production team sold the film to Cannon Pictures, who were famous for being willing to release anything. The movie played in a few cities under the terrible title American Raspberry and then went straight to VHS obscurity.

Sketch comedies are usually hit-and-miss and Prime Time is definitely more miss than hit. The majority of the film is made up of commercial parodies but, since most of the commercials being parodied are no longer on the air, the humor has aged terribly. There is also a wrap-around story. The President (George Furth) and a general (Dick O’Neill) try to figure out where the commercial parodies are coming from and stop them before the broadcast leads to a riot. There are a few funny bits (including Harry Shearer as a stranded trucker looking for a ride and Kinky Friedman singing a song about “Ol’ Ben Lucas who has a lot of mucus”) but, for the most part, the film is epitomized by a skit where people literally get shit dumped on their head. The film’s opens with an incredibly racist commercial for Trans Puerto Rican Airlines and it’s all downhill from there.

As for Warren Oates, he appears in an early skit. He and Robert Ridgely (best known for playing Col. James in Boogie Nights) play hunters who take part in the Charles Whitman Celebrity Invitational, climbing to the top of the Tower on the University of Texas campus and shooting at the people below. It’s even less funny now than it probably was in 1977.

How did Warren Oates end up in a movie like Prime Time? Even great actors have bills to pay. As for Prime Time, it is the one Warren Oates film that even the most dedicated Warren Oates fan won’t regret missing.