Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.6 “The Enemy Within”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Okay, let’s do this again.

Episode 2.6 “The Enemy Within”

(Dir by Stephen L. Posey, originally aired on September 28th, 1996)

A group of masked men are breaking into the homes of wealthy Vietnamese immigrants and stealing their money and jewelry.  We are told that the men are specifically targeting the Vietnamese because Vietnamese people do not trust banks or the police.  I have no idea if that’s true or not.  I just know that the show insisted that this is true with a bizarre vehemence.  To be honest, I’m Irish-Italian-Spanish in descent and I don’t trust banks or the police either.  That said, I would be kind of offended if something bad happened to me and the cops responded by going, “Eh.  It’s because she’s Irish-Italian-Spanish, what can you do?”

Kelly Hu, who is not Vietnamese, plays Wendy Trang, the granddaughter of a Vietnamese couple of have been robbed.  Her grandfather does not want to talk to the police so Wendy instead talks to her grandfather and then meets with TC to tell him what her grandfather told her.  From what Wendy tells him (which I think would be considered hearsay in a court of law), TC decides that only one of the thieves is Vietnamese and that the head of the robbery crew is probably an American who served in Vietnam and who harbors resentment towards immigrants.  Seriously, he figures that out from just having one conversation.

(Actually, maybe it was Palermo who figured it out.  Once they get on their bikes and put on their helmets, Palermo and TC are pretty much indistinguishable.)

TC recruits a psychic named Leslie Quint (Ken Weiler) to handle a knife that was left behind at the scene and to pick up on whatever psychic residue has been left behind.  Chris smirks and calls the guy a fraud because, two seasons is, the writers still haven’t bothered to give Chris a personality beyond being bitchy.  The psychic not only reveals that the leader of the gang is a big white guy but he also tells Chris that she needs to go to the dentist because she has a cavity.  (Ewwww!  Brush your teeth, weirdo!)  He also tells Cory that her never-before mentioned brother is involved in some trouble.

The psychic’s right!  Peter McNamara (William Bumiller), Cory’s brother, is a corrupt narcotics cop!

Anyway, things worked out.  The bag guys were captured.  Cory realized her brother wasn’t perfect.  Chris learned a lesson about dismissing secret powers.  TC smirked in that oddly humorless way of his.  As Palermo, Rick Rossovich seemed to be begging someone to remember that he had been in both Top Gun and The Terminator before allowing himself to get sucked into the world of Pacific Blue.

Along with Kelly Hu, this episode featured Cronenberg favorite Robert A. Silverman, playing an eccentric on the beach.  It’s always nice to see Silverman!

Otherwise, this was another stupid episode.  At some point, these characters are going to have to develop personalities beyond riding bikes and getting annoyed, right?

 

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

It’s time to go back to the Island.  Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 19th, 1983)

I had mixed feelings about this episode.

On the one hand, we do learn a little bit about Tattoo’s past in this episode.  We discover that he lived in Paris before coming to Fantasy Island and becoming Roarke’s assistant and we learn that he may have been a taxi driver.  At one point, his life was saved by a woman named Susan Henderson (Georgia Engel).  To repay her, Tattoo arranges for Susan to come to the Island so that she can pursue her fantasy of getting concert pianist Carter Ransome (Bernie Kopell — who I love on The Love Boat but who is just plain miscast here) to fall in love with her.  Even though Roarke says it will only be for the weekend, Susan is okay with that.  Of course, things get complicated.  Roarke also asks Tattoo how he plans to pay for the fantasy.  Since when does Roarke care about money?  Seriously, after all of the free fantasies that he’s handed out!?  Give Tattoo a break, Roarke!

On the other hand, this fantasy featured Georgia Engel.  Georgia Engel was an actress who specialized in playing very nice women who rarely spoke above a whisper.  Ever since I’ve started doing these retro television reviews, I’ve watched countless episodes featuring Georgia Engel as quirky women who refuse to speak above a whisper.  At first, it didn’t bother me.  Then I watched Jennifer Slept Here, a short-lived sitcom co-starring Georgia Engel.  It was while watching Jennifer Slept Here that I found myself yelling, “SPEAK UP!” whenever Georgia Engel appeared onscreen.

I feel bad because Georgia Engel, in every role that I’ve seen her play, came across as being a genuinely kind soul but the whispering thing …. oh my God, it just annoys the Hell out of me.  And that was certainly the case with this episode.  It was nice to learn more about Tattoo’s life and I’m glad that everyone found love but I’m sick of having to strain to understand or even hear the dialogue whenever Georgia Engel guest stars on one of these shows.

The other fantasy, I liked a bit more.  Carl Peters (Dean Butler) comes to Fantasy Island to meet a woman who has loved for afar, Hallie Miller (Crystal Bernard).  It turns out that Hallie lives on a village on the other side of the Island.  Roarke warns that it’s a weird village that’s never gotten over the execution of a witch several centuries earlier.  At first, I was like, “Since when is there a town on the other side of the Island?” but then I remembered that, during the first season, there was a whole fantasy that took place in fishing village that happened to be on the Island.  Anyway, this fantasy is supernatural-themed and I always like it when Fantasy Island embraces its supernatural origins.

It was an uneven trip to the Island this week but what can I say?  I like island trips!

 

Brad reviews DEATH HUNT (1981), starring Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, Carl Weathers, and Andrew Stevens! 


Today is actor Andrew Stevens’ 70th birthday. I grew up watching Stevens in the Charles Bronson films 10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983) and DEATH HUNT (1981), the movie I’m reviewing today. I also enjoyed watching him in Brian De Palma’s THE FURY (1978). Later in his career he stepped behind the camera where he produces and directs mostly low budget films. As of this writing, he’s still going strong, and he’s built quite a nice career. And for me, my appreciation all started because he worked with Charles Bronson when he was in his twenties!

In the “based on a true story” DEATH HUNT, Charles Bronson plays trapper Albert Johnson, who lives in the Yukon Territory in the year of 1931 and just wants to be left alone. Early in the film, Johnson comes across a vicious dogfight and rescues one of the participants who’s almost dead. The problem is that the dog belongs to a piece of shit named Hazel (Ed Lauter), and even though Johnson pays him for the dog, Hazel heads to town and tells Sergeant Edgar Millen (Lee Marvin), of the Royal Canadian Mountain Police, that Johnson stole his dog. Millen doesn’t have time for Hazel’s B.S., so he tells him to go on. Millen would rather drink whiskey and hang out with his friends and co-workers in town. These people include the experienced tracker Sundog, aka George Washington Lincoln Brown (Carl Weathers), a young fresh-faced constable with the RCMP named Alvin Adams (Andrew Stevens), his latest lover Vanessa McBride (Angie Dickinson), and everyone’s favorite sidepiece, the Buffalo woman (Amy Marie George). Not willing to let things slide, Hazel and his men go up to Johnson’s cabin and start some more trouble, and one of his buddies gets his scalp shot off by the more than capable Johnson. Even though the entire mess has been started by Hazel and his crew of goons, who include character actors William Sanderson and Maury Chaykin, Millen is forced to try to bring Johnson in, so they can straighten everything out. When it seems Johnson may be about to go in with Millen, one of Hazel’s dumbass men opens fire, and all hell breaks loose. In the aftermath, Johnson escapes, kicking off a massive manhunt across the mountains and wilderness of the Yukon Territory! 

DEATH HUNT is an awesome film, primarily because it pairs Charles Bronson, as the tough mountain man, against Lee Marvin, as the seasoned lawman who probably has only one chase left in him. This is a match made in heaven, and even though the two stars share little screen time, the icons dominate each frame of the film. Their characters respect each other and you get the feeling the two men, who couldn’t be more different in real life, probably felt the same way about each other. The remainder of the cast is filled with so many recognizable names and faces. I’d say the the best performances outside of Bronson and Marvin come from Carl Weathers, Andrew Stevens and Ed Lauter. I like the camaraderie that Weathers shares with Marvin, and of course he’s a lot of help when the action starts. Initially, Stevens seems like he’s going to be another “new kid” who’s too inexperienced to be of much help, but he proves to be more than capable by the end of the film. And good grief is Lauter good at playing a piece of crap! Everything about Hazel is cruel, sadistic, and ignorant, and he plays the part perfectly. A scene where a bullying Hazel gets his comeuppance at the hands of the young Adams (Stevens), is a highlight of the film. Sadly, Angie Dickinson, one of the most beautiful women in the history of cinema, is somewhat wasted in her small, unimportant role. I still like seeing her though, even if the part is beneath her. 

Aside from the phenomenal cast that Director Peter R. Hunt (DR. NO and THUNDERBALL) was able to assemble, there are other good reasons to watch DEATH HUNT. I love movies that are filmed outside of the city, and you can’t get much further out of the city than the Canadian Rocky Mountains. This setting provides plenty of beauty, but its frozen landscape and bitter conditions also allow for a sense of loneliness, isolation and desperation to seep in for the various characters as the manhunt stretches out over time. There is also some rugged and violent action spread out through the film. I was caught off guard the first time I watched the film by some of the more graphic violence in the action scenes. I’ve already mentioned Bronson’s character basically blowing a guy’s head off, and there’s another scene involving William Sanderson getting his arm caught in a trap. These scenes make my toes curl up just thinking about them. The action highlight occurs when the men think they have killed Johnson in an explosion, to only have him emerge from the smoke and flames of his decimated cabin with slow motion shotgun blasting. It’s an incredibly badass moment in the movie and in Bronson’s overall filmography. Finally, the story is interested in contrasting the old ways of doing things, as exemplified by Bronson and Marvin, versus the new ways of doing things, as exemplified by the young Stevens and a hotshot pilot (Scott Hylands) who is called in to help with the search. Edgar Millen is somewhat of a dinosaur who isn’t ready to truly move into the 20th century. He wants to catch Johnson through old-fashioned, out maneuvering him in the wilderness, while Stevens’ character brings in a radio and the expertise to use it, and Hylands tries to locate him and gun him down from high in the sky. These two schools of thought clash and play out to varying degrees of success and failure as the chase rushes toward its conclusion.

DEATH HUNT is not a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s been one of my favorite Bronson films since I first saw it the mid to later 80’s. Just seeing Bronson and Marvin together on screen, in a rugged, violent, badass story, goes a long way with me. It’s as simple as that! See the trailer below:

Song of the Day: Helpless in Love by Andrew Stevens


I’ve been searching YouTube for a good Andrew Stevens scene for about 90 minutes now.  Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find the one that I’m looking for.

However, I did find this one of Andrew Stevens singing in the 70s!

Here is Andrew Stevens with our song of the day, Helpless In Love.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.21 “Thrill Show”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week’s episode is all about the thrills!

Episode 3.21 “Thrill Show”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on February 23rd, 1980)

Bonnie (Randi Oakes) has a decision to make.  Her ex-boyfriend and mentor, Ray (John McCook, of Bold and the Beautiful fame) has come to Los Angeles and is trying to convince her to quit the force and join him as a member of the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show!

The what?

I have to admit that I had no idea what the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show was but all of the police officers were really excited about it and the episode’s storylines all came to a halt for ten minutes so we could have an extended sequences of drivers doing stunts.  I assumed that the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show was a real thing and a quick check with Wikipedia confirmed that I was correct.  (In fact, Chitwood played Charlie, James Bond’s unfortunate driver in Live and Let Die.)

While Bonnie struggles with her future, Baker and Ponch pursue the members of a rock band who have been robbing tourist buses so that they can raise the money to record their first album.  Hell yeah, that’s taking control of your future!  The leader of the band was named Malcolm and he was played by Paul Nicholas, who also played Peter Frampton’s brother in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Whatever else you may think of that film, Nicholas’s performance of You Never Give Me Your Money was nicely done.

This episode seemed to primarily exist to advertise the Chitwood show but, as I’ve stated before, I’ve always liked fast cars and dramatic stunts.  What can I say?  I’m a Southern girl, it’s in my blood.  The idea of a band robbing tourists to pay for its album was actually kind of interesting, even if the episode didn’t really do much with it.  Paul Nicholas was a bit more charismatic than the typical CHiPs co-star.

In other words, this episode …. hey, it was okay!

The Hong Kong Film Corner – JACKIE CHAN’S FIRST STRIKE (1996)!


In JACKIE CHAN’S FIRST STRIKE (1996), aka POLICE STORY 4: FIRST STRIKE, Jackie Chan plays Inspector Chan Ka-Kui (called “Jackie” in the dubbed version), a Hong Kong police officer tasked with helping CIA and Russian authorities track a missing nuclear warhead. His investigation leads him to Ukraine and Australia, where he discovers a conspiracy involving a rogue CIA agent named Jackson Tsui (Jackson Lui) and a criminal organization. Chan teams up with Annie (Annie Wu), a marine biologist and Tsui’s sister, to try to stop the rogue agent from selling the warhead to global terrorists. 

As you might imagine, JACKIE CHAN’S FIRST STRIKE has incredible stunt work. Chan was 42 years old when he made this movie, but he still has “it!” His amazing acrobatic ability is on full display as he engages in snowy mountain top chases, ladder fights, shark tank shenanigans, all leading to a final showdown in an aquarium! Every set piece highlights Chan’s special blend of martial arts, comedy, and scary stunts. Aside from the incredible stunts, Chan brings so much charm and humor to the table. He’s so likable that you can’t help but smile as he goes from one crazy situation to the next. This is why I watch Jackie Chan movies, and this one has a lot of good stuff!

As far as the supporting performances, Bill Tung, who plays his boss “Uncle Bill Wong,” is the only real connection to the earlier “POLICE STORY” movies. He pops up at the very beginning and a couple of times during the movie, but that’s about it. Having enjoyed all the prior films in the series, it is fun seeing him here, but there is certainly no need to watch the others to be able to enjoy this one. Annie Wu was only 18 years old when she made this movie, which is her first credit, and she’s as cute as it gets! There’s nothing that special about the villains. They’re mostly here to be used as punching bags for Chan to work off of during his unique action sequences. 

Overall, I really enjoy JACKIE CHAN’S FIRST STRIKE because I’m a big fan of the unique blend of action and comedy that Chan brings to his movies. It may not be his very best, but it’s a pleasant reminder of what Hong Kong cinema was like in the 90’s before the 1997 handover. I miss those days of Hong Kong cinema. There was nothing like it in the world. 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.6 “God’s Work”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

After a two-week hiatus, the retro television reviews are back!  Let’s start with Miami Vice.

Episode 4.6 “God’s Work”

(Dir by Jan Eliasberg, originally aired on November 6th, 1987)

Father Ernesto Lupe (Daniel Lugo), an old friend of Castillo’s, runs an AIDS hospice in Miami.  When Father Ernesto is shot and murdered, Castillo takes a particular interest in the case.

Was Father Ernesto shot by one of the neighborhood homophobes, the same punks who spend their free time spray-painting obscene graffiti on the front doors of the hospice?

Was Father Ernesto’s death connected to his brother-in-law, notorious drug lord Jorge Cruz (Alfonso Arau)?  The Vice Squad has been investigating the Cruz family.  Francesco (Franceso Quinn) is the brutish son, the one who enjoys throwing his weight around and who goes out of his way to bully everyone that he meets.  Felipe (Esai Morales) is the young son, who has just returned from Miami after making a fortune as a stockbroker in New York.  Is Felipe looking to take over the family business?

Actually, Felipe wants nothing to do with the family business.  He’s returned to Miami because an ex-boyfriend is a patient at the AIDS hospice and Felipe wanted to spend time with him before he died.  And Father Ernesto’s death had nothing to do with drugs.  Instead, Jorge shot him because Jorge blamed Ernesto’s sermons, which stressed God’s love above all else, for being responsible for Felipe “becoming” gay.  Even after Felipe explains that the sermons had nothing to do with it and that he’s always been gay, Jorge still thinks that he can “cure” his son by making him a part of the family business.

Yikes!

There was a lot going on in this episode.  In fact, there was almost too much going on.  Between Castillo investigating Ernesto’s death and Tubbs (working undercover) trying to arrest Franceso, this episode sometimes felt a bit overstuffed.  It was still an effective episode, though, featuring good performances from Arau, Quinn, Morales, and Edward James Olmos.  Castillo actually got to laugh at one point in this episode.  I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

This episode did remind me — as I think almost every episode does — that Crockett and Tubbs undercover work has never made much sense.  Tubbs spends the majority of the first half of the episode pretending to be a criminal looking to make a deal with Francisco.  That’s fine.  It even allows Tubbs to use his fake Caribbean accent.  It’s been a while since we’ve heard that.  But then, after Father Ernesto is shot, Tubbs shows up at the crime scene with his badge.  Now, seriously, Father Ernesto is Francesco’s uncle.  Francesco is a suspect in the murder.  Why would Tubbs run the risk of blowing his cover like that?  For that matter, why was Vice investigating a homicide?

Even when Vice is good, it often doesn’t make sense.

#SundayShorts with THE FRIGHTENERS (1996)!


In the 1980’s I was a huge fan of Michael J. Fox. Alex P. Keaton was my hero, and BACK TO THE FUTURE and TEEN WOLF are two of my favorite 80’s movies. In the early 2000’s I became a huge fan of Director Peter Jackson due to his LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. Made in 1996, THE FRIGHTENERS is the only Peter Jackson film I had seen prior to the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. I saw THE FRIGHTENERS at the movie theater in 1996, and I loved it. It was different than I was expecting going in, but it has one hell of cast. I had not seen any of Jeffrey Combs’ work prior to this movie, and he totally cracked me up. Throw in a ghostly Chi McBride whose character even references Charles Bronson* at one point, and I’m hooked. Peter Jackson directing Michael J. Fox. Now that’s a match made in heaven!

*BONUS – Chi McBride as Cyrus
:

“All right, man, this is it. We gotta be hard. No mercy. We’re going in like professionals, like Charles Bronson. We don’t stop till the screaming starts, you dig?”