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Brad reviews DEAD TONE (2007), starring Rutger Hauer!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

DEAD TONE (2007), also known as 7EVENTY 5IVE, opens with a group of kids entertaining themselves while their parents are drinking and partying downstairs. The kids are playing a prank-calling game called “Seventy-Five,” where the goal is to place a random phone call and tell such a believable story that the person who answers will stay on the line at least 75 seconds. One guy seems particularly upset with the kids when they call him. Later that night, while everyone is sleeping, a psycho with an axe comes in the house and brutally murders all the parents while the kids hide and watch in terror. Jump forward ten years and most of the kids who survived the night of terror are now college students. Invited to a weekend party at a wealthy classmate’s mansion, the group resumes their prank-calling game. Needless to say, when the maniac from ten years earlier answers the phone, the members of the group find themselves being stalked and murdered again. Hopefully Detective John Criton (Rutger Hauer), who worked the original murders 10 years earlier, and his partner Anne Hastings (Gwendoline Yeo), will figure out who killer is and stop him before everyone dies! 

DEAD TONE is directed by Brian Hooks and Deon Taylor, who also star in the film. They’ve created a gory, low-budget slasher that blends elements of ‘80s and ‘90s horror films with an urban twist. For a guy who did his share of prank calls as a kid, I think the “psycho on the receiving end of a prank call” storyline is pretty cool. And the opening scene where the kids watch as their parents are killed because of their phone calls is horrific and pulls you right into the story. Unfortunately, once we get past the interesting open, there’s nothing that special about the rest of the movie. The characters aren’t particularly memorable or likable, and they sure as hell aren’t very smart. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking that I would never make another prank call again if I survived a mass murder event that was brought on by prank phone calls. These folks have no such qualms, which may not make any sense in the real world, but I guess is necessary if you need more axe murders for your plot. I will admit that there are a few awesome kills in the film, especially if you enjoy a good beheading. I won’t spoil the scenes, but the ones I’m specifically thinking of are both surprising and jarring at the same time. I’m also the kind of guy who will watch anything featuring the legendary Dutch actor Rutger Hauer. DEAD TONE’s Detective John Criton isn’t a character highlight of his career, but I still enjoy watching him go through the motions of investigating the crimes both in the present and in the past. It’s a part that he could have completed in his sleep, but this movie would have benefited from more “Hauer time.”

Overall, DEAD TONE is the kind of movie to watch with little to no expectations. My wife and I enjoyed the film as we cuddled up on the couch and watched it a couple of nights before Halloween. It’s not great, but if you’re in the mood for a slasher movie with jump scares, silly characters, some decent gore, and even an acting legend thrown in for good measure, you could do a lot worse than DEAD TONE!

Horror on the Lens: How To Make A Monster (dir by Herbert L. Strock)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

You’ve seen I Was A Teenage Werewolf….

You’ve watched I Was A Teenage Frankenstein….

Now, it’s time to watch How To Make A Monster!

Released in 1958, How To Make A Monster is a clever little horror satire from American International Pictures in which the stars of Teenage Werewolf and Teenage Frankenstein are hypnotized into believing that they actually are the monsters that they played!  The main culprit is a movie makeup artist (Robert H. Harris) who has been deemed obsolete by the new bosses at AIP.

Be sure to watch for the finale, which features cameo appearances from several other AIP monsters!  And read my full review of the film by clicking here!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.10 “The Scapegoat”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey makes the mistake of being nice.

Episode 1.10 “The Scapegoat”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on December 16th, 1957)

Call this one “Casey Screws Up …. Again.”

Casey and Detective Hank Hopkins (John Connell) are escorting embezzler Dorothy Boyer (Lenka Peterson) to jail.  As they wait at an airport, Casey cannot help but feel sorry for Dorothy.  Everyone who sees Dorothy recoils from the sight of her handcuffs.  (“She’s a crook!” one little girl yells.)  Casey agrees to take off the handcuffs as long as Dorothy doesn’t try to run away.  Of course, as soon as Casey is distracted, Dorothy runs.

Casey and Hank try to track down Dorothy.  They discover that Dorothy was embezzling the money so that she could afford a special school for her son, who is repeatedly described as being “retarded” but whose noncommunicative behavior suggests that he would probably, today, be diagnosed as having some form of autism.  Casey and Hank fear that Dorothy is going to murder her child, to spare him from being sent to a “public institution” while she’s serving time in prison.

They’re right.  Dorothy is on the verge of throwing her son off a bridge when Casey, Hank, and the cops track her down.  Casey says that she understand why Dorothy is scared.  “You think your son will be sent to a public institution and people will be cruel to him!” Casey says.  “What about me?  I work for a public institution!  Was I cruel to you?”

“Who’s going to give love to a backward child!?” Dorothy cries.

Casey then taunts, “Go ahead, throw him over!”

This causes Dorothy to realize that she loves her son too much to toss him over the bridge.  The episode ends with Casey speaking directly to the camera.  Dorothy will only have to serve six months in prison.  As for Casey and Hank, they’re put on official probation for three months for letting Dorothy escape.  “You live and you learn,” Casey says.

This episode was a real time capsule.  Yes, it was weird to hear the term “retarded” tossed around so casually, though I found the term “backward child” to be far more offensive.  But, let’s be realistic here.  This show aired 1957 and it’s a bit silly to expect a 68 year-old television program to sound like it was written in 2025.  To me, what was really upsetting was how everyone that Casey talked to seemed to feel it was perfectly understandable that the father of Dorothy’s child abandoned Dorothy because of their son.  Everyone, except for Casey and Hank, acted as if Dorothy should be ashamed of her child.  To make clear, the show did not endorse that attitude but still, the callousness of almost everyone in Dorothy’s life was hard to take.  I was glad that Casey cared.

That said, I did cringe a bit at that “I work for a public institution” line.  One nice person does not signify a change in culture.

October True Crime: Holy Spider (dir by Ali Abbasi)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2022’s Holy Spider opens in the Iranian city of Mashahd.  We follow a woman as she spend her night as a sex worker, standing on a street corners, going off with any man who stops for her, and hiding in the shadows whenever the infamous morality police are nearby.  There’s nothing glamorous about her work.  The men who pick her up are brutes who treat her like property and there’s little about the city that is beautiful or aesthetically pleasing.  If anything, it looks bombed-out, as if no one could be bothered to repair any of the obvious cracks that are stretching across the city ancient’s facade.  Towards the end of the night, the woman is picked up by a man who, in a harrowing scene, proceeds to choke her to death.

Journalist Arezoo Rahimi (Zar Amir Ebrahimi) arrives in the city to investigate the recent murders of several sex workers and immediately discovers that the authorities have no interest in discussing the case.  When she pushes them, they taunt her about her private life and they snap at her for not properly covering her hair.  Whenever she steps out into the street, she’s told that she’s going to get in trouble if she’s spotted by the Morality Police.  (The attitude appears to be that it’s a greater crime for a woman to fail to fully cover her hair than for a man to kill a woman, whether her hair is properly covered or not.)   Eventually, she teams up with a newspaper editor named Sharifi (Arash Ashtiani).  Sharifi has been receiving letters from the murderer, ones in which he explains that he is cleansing the city in the name of Imam Reza, the eighth Shia Imam.

The murderer is a construction worker named Saeed Azimi (Mehdi Bajestani), a middle-aged man who previously served in the Iraq-Iran War and who it is suggested might be suffering from PTSD.  On the outside, Saeed seems almost normal.  He has friends.  He has a family.  He is very religious.  To the outside viewer, he might not look like a killer.  But, every night, he prowls the streets and he searches for potential victims.  When Rahimi goes undercover as a sex worker, she comes close to becoming one of them.

More than just a recreation of a serial killer’s crimes, Holy Spider examines the misogynistic attitudes that allowed Saeed that get away with so many murders.  Saeed himself becomes a folk hero amongst many Iranians, who are quick to say that they agree with his mission to cleanse the city.  Even when on trial, Saeed is approached by members of the government who promise him his safety, though it soon becomes clear that their promises don’t necessarily mean much.  The more that his crimes are celebrated, the more smug Saeed becomes.  Even when his sentence comes down, Saeed remains convinced that he will be protected.  Afterall, everyone seems to agree with him that the victims, and not the murderer, are to blame for their deaths.

Dark, disturbing, and ultimately infuriating, Holy Spider is a powerful film.  The film’s power can be seen in the fact that it was not only banned in Iran but that the government also announced that anyone involved in the filming would also be censured.  (Russia, a longtime ally of Iran, also banned the film.)  Saeed is a hateful figure but even more hateful are the misogynists who celebrated him and nearly allowed him to get away with his crimes.  Holy Spider may have been banned in Iran but it can still be seen in the rest of the world.

And it should be seen.

Horror On The Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1962’s Carnival of Souls was the only feature film to be directed by Herk Harvey.  It was made on a budget of $33,000 and was filmed in Kansas and Utah, often without permits.  The film was also the feature acting debut of model Candace Hilligoss, cast here as a emotionally withdrawn church organist who is involved in a serious car accident and then finds herself haunted by pasty-faced ghosts and surreal visions.

When it was initially released, Carnival of Souls was dismissed by American critics.  Indeed, it would a little over twenty years before the film started to be appreciated as both a classic independent film and also a truly eerie horror movie.  Today, it’s recognized as a classic of the genre, an expressionistic ghost story that also works as a character study of a woman who is haunted by not just physical death but also emotional malaise.

Carnival of Souls is a Halloween tradition here at the TSL offices.  This year, the tradition continues.

 

October Positivity: The List (dir by Gary Wheeler)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2007’s The List opens during the dying days of the American Civil War.

A group of wealthy plantation owners form a secret society.  They pool together their fortunes and they each sign onto a list.  Over the years, whenever a member of the Society passes away, their eldest male descendant replaces them on the List and also has access to the fortune that that the Society secretly holds.

In 2007, directionless attorney Renny Jacobsen (Chuck Carrington) is shocked when his father dies and leaves him next to no money.  As Renny tells us over and over again, he really could have used some of his father’s fortune.  However, his father does leave him a key the leads to Renny uncovering a tape that explains everything that he needs to know about the Society.  All Renny has to do is sign his name to the List.

The Society is now run by Desmond Larochette (Malcolm McDowell) and we know that he’s evil because his name is Desmond Larochette and he’s played by Malcolm McDowell.  Larochette seems to be more than happy to allow Renny to join the Society but he’s not quite as happy that another member of the group died and only left behind a female heir, Jo Johnston (Hilarie Burton).  The members of the Society are faced with quite a quandary.  Should they allow a woman to join their society?  And, if not, what should they do now that she know about the Society’s existence?

When Jo goes to the mansion for the Society’s meeting, she spots a portrait of a gray-haired gentleman and asks who he is.  Gus Eicholtz (Pat Hingle) explains that the painting is of John C. Calhoun, who served as Vice President under Andrew Jackson.  “He looks angry,” Jo says and honestly, that was a piece of historical and artistic criticism that was so simple-minded that Jo really should have been disqualified from joining the Society at that very moment.

First off, how are you going to join a Southern secret society if you don’t know how John C. Calhoun is?  Secondly, the portrait in question is actually a pretty famous one.  George Alexander Haley painted it while Calhoun was Secretary of State.  Even if you don’t know who John C. Calhoun is, chances are that you’ve seen the painting.  Finally, there’s the claim that “He looks angry.”  The painting was completed in 1845.  Everyone looked angry in 1840s!  Even the noted bon vivant Henry Clay looked angry in his 1848 State Department portrait.  (And Clay actually had his picture taken for his official portrait.  Imagine how furious he would look if someone had painted him?)

Anyway, Renny joins the society but Jo does not,  But then Renny discovers that it’s not as easy to get his hands on the money as he thought and he spends the entire movie complaining about it.  That’s pretty much it.  There is some suggestion that Desmond might have demonic powers, but it’s not really explored.  Another heir dies mysteriously and it seems like Jo is being targeted as well.  Again, it’s not really clear why.  In the end, Renny puts God before the money but it kind of comes out of nowhere.  It’s a muddled story and, by the end of the film, it’s still a struggle to figure out what it all meant.  At the very least, Malcolm McDowell seemed to be having fun, playing an evil character and speaking in an almost indecipherable accent.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.3 “A Second Chance”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Things are getting crazy at training camp!

Episode 2.3 “A Second Chance”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 8th, 1986)

This week’s episode featured the unforgettable sight of O.J. Simpson tackling a knife-wielding Don Swayze and saving the life of Delta Burke.

Swayze was playing Clay Daniels, a tight end who was drafted by Coach Denardo, even though he apparently pulled a knife on a professor in college.  After Clay threatened Johnny Valentine after he felt Valentine wasn’t throwing him the ball enough, Denardo explained that he drafted Clay because Clay can play football.  Okay, Ernie, I guess that justifies having a knife-wielding maniac in the locker room….

After Denardo finally cut Clay from the team, Clay showed up at Diana’s house with a knife.  Fortunately, Diana was able to call Denardo and T.D. Parker for help.  Denardo showed up and promised he would give Clay a second chance.  And then T.D. tackled Clay and grabbed that knife like a pro!

Meanwhile, Yinessa returned to training camp but he was not happy that his friend and roommate, wide receiver Jamie Waldren (Jeff Kaake), had a drug problem.  This episode ended with Yinessa getting into a fight with someone who broke into their room in search of Waldren’s cocaine.  An angry Yinessa flushed all of Waldren’s cocaine.  Considering that this episode also featured Diana being named Chairperson of the League’s Anti-Drug Committee, I’m sure this won’t lead to any sort of awkwardness with the team.

Much like last week’s episode, this episode was so melodramatic and over-the-top that I couldn’t help but enjoy it.  Drugs, training camp, and knives!  Will the Bulls make it to the Championship Game a second year in a row?  It’s not looking good but, considering that they have O.J. Simpson’s razor-sharp instincts at their disposal, I wouldn’t count them out yet!

Horror On TV: Dead of Night (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s horror on television, we’re very happy to present to you, Dead of Night!

From 1977, this television film is a horror anthology, made up of three stories directed by Dan Curtis and written by Richard Matheson.  In the first story, a youngish Ed Begley, Jr. travels through time.  In the 2nd story, Patrick Macnee plays a man whose wife is apparently being menaced by a vampire.  And in the third story, Joan Hackett plays a mother who brings her dead son back to life, just to discover that sometimes it’s best to just let sleeping corpses lies.

The entire anthology is good, though the third story is clearly the best and the most frightening.  Not only is it scary but it’s got a great twist ending.

Enjoy!

Brad reviews BONE DADDY (1998), starring Rutger Hauer!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

I became obsessed with the actor Rutger Hauer in the summer of 1990. I was about to go into my senior year of high school, and I was attending the Arkansas Governor’s School. I had seen Hauer before in films like THE HITCHER and WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE, but as part of our curriculum, we all watched BLADE RUNNER and then broke up into smaller groups to analyze the film. Blown away by the film, Hauer’s powerful performance, and the opportunity to engage in a serious conversation about a movie with my peers, it was a rewarding experience, and I soon found myself seeking out every Hauer film I could find. I followed the charismatic Dutch actor’s career closely from that point forward, all the way up to his death in July of 2019. I was actually sitting on a beach in Florida when I read that he had passed away. Based on my extreme interest in every project that Hauer was associated with, I specifically remember when BONE DADDY premiered on HBO in 1998. I didn’t have HBO so I had to wait for a few months to catch it when it arrived on home video.

In BONE DADDY (1998), Rutger Hauer stars as Dr. Bill Palmer, a retired Chicago medical examiner turned bestselling author. Years earlier, Palmer investigated a series of brutal unsolved murders committed by a serial killer known as “Bone Daddy.” Retiring in frustration from not being able to solve the murders, Palmer pens the novel, “Bone Daddy,” a fictionalized account of the crimes where, unlike real life, the killer is caught and brought to justice. The book’s runaway success catapults Palmer to fame, but it also seems to pull the notorious Bone Daddy out of retirement. When his literary agent, the cocky, Rocky Carlson, is kidnapped and subjected to the killer’s signature torture, the surgical removal of bones from a living body, Palmer finds himself back on the case and teamed up with the no-nonsense police detective Sharon Wells (Barbara Williams). As the bones and the suspects pile up, Palmer is determined to make sure the killer is found and brought to justice this time around!

BONE DADDY is a pretty darn good entertainment option if you’re in the mood for an undemanding serial killer flick that’s in and out of your life in 90 minutes. It’s certainly not in the same league as SE7EN, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyed for what it is. The premise is pretty twisted, and the scenes where the killer is preparing to remove the bones of fully coherent victims is horrifying to say the least! There isn’t a lot of gore, but what’s there is pretty gross. This is B-movie territory and the lack of Hollywood gloss works in its favor. The film’s plot also has quite a bit of family drama between Dr. Palmer and his adult son Peter (Joseph Kell), who’s following in his dad’s professional footsteps in the medical field. It seems Dr. Palmer wasn’t the greatest dad and the current state of their relationship figures strongly throughout various portions of the film. This element of the story is actually handled quite well and adds some interesting tension as we move towards the end.

At the end of the day, the best thing about BONE DADDY is the presence of Rutger Hauer in the lead. He brings gravitas to the role of Dr. Palmer, a man who has had his share of successes and failures in the world. It’s his failures that continue to haunt him throughout this story and seems to put everyone around him in danger. Hauer, known for his ability to go over the top at times, plays the role completely straight with the quiet intensity and determination of a man trying to make up for past wrongs. It’s another solid performance in the career of the then-53 year old actor. I also want to give a special shout out to his nice, bushy mustache. I enjoyed it very much! The other primary performance of the film comes from Canadian actress Barbara Williams as the lead cop. In contrast to how much I enjoy Hauer, I’m just not much of a fan of Williams. She seems to be in a perpetual state of being offended in every role I’ve seen her in. She played Charles Bronson’s daughter in the FAMILY OF COPS series and her character was always on the ready to jump down someone’s throat for just about anything they said. It’s kind of the same here. I should probably try to look for some more of her work just to see if she ever smiles. 

Overall, I think BONE DADDY is worth a watch, especially for fans of Rutger Hauer or movies about serial killers. The plot is predictable, and so is the identity of the killer if you’re paying attention, but you could definitely do a lot worse! 

Bonus Horror On The Lens: I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (dir by Herbert L. Strock)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

From 1957, it’s I Was A Teenage Frankenstein!

This film was produced as a direct result of the box office success of I Was A Teenage Werewolf.  Just as in Teenage Werewolf, Whit Bissell plays a mad scientist who makes the mistake of trying to play God.  (He also makes the mistake of keeping an alligator in his lab but that’s another story.)  The end result …. Teenage Frankenstein!

The makeup on the Teenage Frankenstein is probably the best thing about this film.  If nothing else, this film features a monster who actually looks like he was stitched together in a lab.

Enjoy and please be sure to read my full review!