Retro Television Reviews: Live Again, Die Again (dir by Richard A. Colla)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Live Again, Die Again!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

30 years ago, Caroline Carmichael (Donna Mills) died.

Except, she really didn’t.  Instead, when on the verge of death, she was put into cryogenic suspension.  She has spent the last three decades in suspended animation and, as a result, she has not aged in all that time.  In fact, her hair still looks perfect.  (I have some doubts about the scientific validity of any of this but let’s just go with it.)  As this movie begins, Caroline Carmichael finally wakes up.

Caroline has an entirely new world to discover.  At a party to celebrate her awakening, Caroline is shocked to discover that, while she still appears to be young, all of her friends are now in their 60s. Her husband, Thomas (Walter Pidgeon), is now old and sickly.  Her beautiful home is now looked after by a strict and suspicious housekeeper (Geraldine Page).    Her two children (played by Mike Farrell and Vera Miles) both appear to be older than her.  In fact, her daughter was so traumatized by Caroline’s “death,” that she is now terrified of being left alone with her mother.

You might expect that this film would be dedicated to Caroline adjusting to the world of the 70s and that it might feature some thoughts on whether it’s ethical to keep someone in suspended animation for 30 years.  And there are elements of that.  Caroline is amazed by all the tall buildings.  Her daughter’s reaction to Caroline’s return is hardly heart-warming and even Caroline’s whiny son doesn’t seem to be quite as happy about it as one might expect.  Her husband has spent the last 30 years of his life waiting for Caroline to wake up and it’s hard not to consider how many opportunities for happiness or success that he missed as a result.

That said, the film itself quickly becomes more of a gothic murder mystery, as Caroline comes to realize that someone is trying to kill her.  That’s kind of a shame because I actually found all of the cryogenic stuff to be much more interesting and the idea that one could basically just stop aging for 30 years was an intriguing one.  It’s an interesting question.  If it could save your life at some undetermined point in the future, would you be frozen?  Myself, I think I would be reluctant to do so because you never know what type of world you might wake up in.  Caroline is lucky enough to wake up wealthy in the 70s but what if you woke up and discovered that your entire family had died while you were in your coma?  What if you woke up and discovered that your country had become some sort of socialist Hellhole?  Imagine if someone went into hibernation in 1994 and then woke up in 2024?  They would probably want to go back to sleep.

The film was written Joseph Stefano, who also did the script for Psycho and was one of the producers behind The Outer Limits.  Not surprisingly, the script is full of snappy dialogue and the cast features two Psycho cast members, Vera Miles and Lurene Tuttle.  Director Richard Colla keeps the action moving and, early on in the film, he does a good job of depicting Caroline’s disorientation with finding herself in an entirely new world.  The film is well-acted by the entire cast, with Donna Mills especially doing a good job as Caroline.  This was an intelligent, well-made, and — most importantly — short made-for-TV movie.  At a time when almost all movies and TV shows seem to be too long for their own good, it’s hard not appreciate Live Again, Die Again‘s 73-minute runtime.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.18 “Store Wars”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, both Cobb’s and Edna get some competition!

Episode 1.18 “Store Wars”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 12th, 1986)

Odd episode, this week.

After having a fight with Howard, Edna abruptly leaves town for Florida.  Apparently, this is something that she does frequently.  (We are 18 episodes in and this show has yet to come up with a consistent portrayal of Howard and Edna’s relationship.)  I have to admit that I’ve never worked retail so I’m not totally sure how these things work but can you just stop going to work whenever you feel like it and still have a job?  It seems like this is the sort of thing that would get most people fired.  Maybe it’s different when you’re sleeping with the boss.

Anyway, Howard gets a new secretary and he is shocked to discover that Irene (Cynthia Belliveau) is young and attractive and totally into him.  Soon, Howard is wearing an earring, sunglasses, and dressing like Bruce Springsteen.  Irene even teaches Howard how to do yoga.

All of this leads to Howard getting distracted from the latest work crisis.  A new store has opened up across the street.  Just Food sells …. well, just food.  There are no bag boys or special displays or anything else that would cost any extra money so Just Food can lower their prices.  Soon, all of Cobb’s customers are going to Just Food!  Even when Christian lowers the prices at Cobb’s, Just Food lowers their prices even more.  Is it possible that Just Food could have a spy in the store?

Yes, there is a spy and, as you probably already guessed, the spy is Irene.  (How did Irene get the job?  Didn’t she have to go through a background check?  Do they not do that in Canada?)  Howard eventually figures it all out but he feels a little better when Irene tells him that, even though she was a spy, she truly did fall for him.  They share a passionate kiss and the audience applauds.  Then Irene leaves and Howard calls Edna to ask her to come back home.  “Awwwww!” the audience says.

Uhmmm …. yeah.  Thanks for the mixed signals, studio audience.  Howard basically cheated on Edna while she was gone but apparently that’s okay because, afterwards, Howard asked her to come back home.  Is Howard ever going to tell Edna about Irene?  She’s going to find out as soon as she asks either Marlene or Jennifer about what happened at the store while she was gone.  Unless Edna was hooking up with a 21 year-old life guard in Florida, Howard’s screwed either way.

This episode just felt off.  Howard can be a jerk but he’s always been loyal to Edna, even when they’ve fought in the past.  The “Store Wars” storyline had potential but it was pretty much overshadowed by Howard trying to be Springsteen.  This episode just didn’t work.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/11/24 — 2/17/24


This was another week in which I didn’t watch much television, beyond what I usually review.  A lot of that is because I was preoccupied with exercising my ankle (which is doing much better) and Valentine’s Day!  And some of it is because I guess modern television just doesn’t interest me that much right now.  All the game shows and the self-conscious prestige dramas are just kind of boring.

Anyway, here’s some thought on what I did watch this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I felt that this week’s episode was a clear improvement over the premiere, though the show still seems to be struggling to find its footing in the third season.  I liked Gregory as the cool teacher and I enjoyed the return of Tariq but I’m still not a fan of Janine working for the district.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

The action moved to Houston in the episode that I watched on Saturday morning.  As usual, I couldn’t really follow the plot but it was fun to watch everything explode.  Bubblegum Crisis takes place in 2033 so I guess we’ve got nine years left.

Diocese Of Dallas Catholic Mass  (Sunday Afternoon, Channel 27)

For various reasons, I really wanted to go to Mass on Sunday but with my sprained ankle, I really didn’t feel like having to hop all the way down to St. Joseph’s.  Fortunately, television to the rescue!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday night.  A woman falsely accused her ex-husband of using their child to make pornographic movies.  Her husband passed a lie detector test and, as Phil pointed out, the woman’s story was full of inconsistencies and never made any sense.  Despite being exposed as being a liar, the woman refused to apologize.

On Saturday, I watched an episode that featured an online gambling addict who, having lost all of his money, was now living in his mother’s basement.  “We are staging an intervention,” Dr. Phil said, in that ultra-dramatic way of his.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

This Friday, I watched an episode about famous people who made cameo appearances in 80s music videos.

The Super Bowl (Sunday Night, CBS)

I have to admit that I was really rooting for the 49ers by the end of the game.  I always like it when the underdogs win.  But still, congratulations to the Chiefs on their victory.  As usual, I was mostly watching for the commercials but I got kind of bored with them this year.  The one with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon was amusing.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched another installment of this old timey serial on Saturday morning. Our heroes spent most of this episode being pursued by gangsters.  Fortunately, they had a vanishing ray!  This old 30s serial is a lot of fun.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

  1. Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
  2. Check It Out (Tubi) — Review Dropping In 30 Minutes
  3. CHiPs (Freevee)
  4. Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
  5. Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)
  6. Friday the 13th (YouTube)
  7. Highway to Heaven (Freevee)
  8. Lookwell (YouTube)
  9. The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
  10. Miami Vice (Tubi)
  11. Monsters (Tubi)
  12. T and T (Tubi)
  13. Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

14 Days of Paranoia #2: Deep Throat Part II (dir by Joseph Sarno)


First released in 1974, Deep Throat II (also known as Linda Lovelace, Secret Agent) is the R-rated sequel the legendary X-rated film, Deep Throat.  I should, at this point, confess that I have never seen Deep Throat, though I have seen the 2005 documentary about the making of the film and its subsequent cultural impact, Inside Deep Throat.  I’ve also read Legs McNeil’s oral history of the adult film industry, The Other Hollywood.  Perhaps most importantly, I’ve watched Boogie Nights a dozen times.

Anyway, Deep Throat II….

The star of the original film, Linda Lovelace, returns as …. Linda Lovelace!  Linda is working as a nurse for a perpetually turned-on sex therapist (Harry Reems) who, when told that he got laid just last night, whines, “Last night was a long time ago!”  Among the therapist’s patients is nerdy Dilbert Lamb (Levi Richards), who is obsessed with black lingerie and his aunt, Juliet.  Dilbert has built a giant super computer named Oscar.  In its electronic voice, Oscar says stuff like, “Why do you want to talk to me, baby?”

The plot is not particularly easy to follow but, as far as I could tell, the head of the CIA (played by adult film vet Jamie Gillis) is concerned that Dilbert has been compromised by either the Russians or by a bunch of do-gooder activists led by a Ralph Nader-style journalist named Kenneth Whacker (David Davidson).  (The journalist’s followers call themselves Whacker’s Attackers.)  The decision is made to recruit Linda Lovelace to investigate because Lovelace apparently has a mysterious technique that she can use to get men to tell her anything.

When Linda is first approached by the CIA, she thinks that she is being drafted into the Army so that she can fight in Vietnam.  “But I have asthma and I need new reading glasses!” she says.  Hey, me too!  Anyway, Linda is relieved to discover that she will not being going to Vietnam and that her new codename is Agent — wait for it — 0069.  (Just in case you were wondering what the level of humor was in this particular film….)

Despite the film’s cast of veteran adult performers and the fact that it’s a sequel to the movie that some people went to jail for transporting across state lines, Deep Throat II is an incredibly tame movie.  The film is edited so haphazardly that it feels as if at least half of it was left on the cutting room floor.  At first, I assumed that I was watching a heavily edited version of the original film but a few minutes of research online revealed that I was watching the original.  (Apparently, director Joe Sarno directed the film so that more explicit scenes could be directed by another filmmaker and inserted into the action but, for whatever reason, those scenes were never filmed.  Sarno was usually one of the more aesthetically interesting and thematically daring of the directors working in the adult film industry.  You would not necessarily know that from his work on this film.)  The actors struggle to keep a straight face while delivering their lines, Harry Reems enthusiastically jumps up and down in almost every scene in which he appears, and Linda Lovelace seems to be trying really hard but she just has a blah screen presence.  Unlike Marilyn Chambers in Rabid or Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience, Linda Lovelace does not come across as having been a particularly good actress.

That said, there is one interesting aspect to Deep Throat II.  Kenneth Hacker worries that Oscar could become smarter than the human being who programmed it and that the computer’s creation could be the first step to the creation of a permanent surveillance state, one in which even private thoughts will be used against the citizens of the United States.  In the film, everyone laughs him off.  50 years later, it no longer sounds that fanciful.

14 Days of Paranoia:

  1. Fast Money (1996)

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 3.10 “Barbarino In Love: Part One”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs are on the verge of actually accomplishing something but Barbarino is distracted by love.

Episode 3.10 “Barbarino In Love: Part One”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on November 3rd, 1977)

At the new apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he’s ever told her about his ancestor, Bart Kotter.  Bart was a prospector who let his friend Jesus die of snakebite because the only way to save him would have been for Bart to suck out the poison himself.  Julie finds the joke to be amusing, probably because it just gave her a new idea about how she could escape from her loveless sham of a marriage.

But enough with the Kotters.  It’s time to meet….

THREE DO’S AND A DON’T!

Okay, it’s actually just the Sweathogs again.  Three Do’s and a Don’t is what Vinnie has named their boy group.  They are competing in the regional semi-finals of the New York talent competition and, if they win, they’ll move on to the statewide contest.  Mr. Woodman isn’t a huge fan of their music, leading Washington to tell them that Three Do’s and a Don’t are not for the “over 30 crowd.”

And yet, when the group performs, they turn out to be a 50s do-wop group that performs a version of Jeepers Creepers.  Vinnie Barbarino sings in falsetto while the others do the acapella thing in the background.  1977 was the year of disco in the U.S. and punk rock in the UK.  It was not a decade known for its love of barbershop quartets.  Three Do’s and A Don’t appears to be very much for the over 70 crowd.

Still, the audience at the show goes crazy for them and I imagine that entirely has to do with Vinnie Barbarino.  Seriously, when you watch this episode and watch all of the Sweathogs performing together at the same time, it’s easy to see why Travolta went on to become a film star while some of the others — like Ron Pallilo — spent their post-Kotter career making cameo appearances in stuff like the sixth Friday the 13th film.  Travolta dominates the talent show, bringing a smoldering quality to even something as hackneyed as Jeepers Creepers.

Cassy (Amy Johnston) is impressed.  Cassy is the “winner from upstate.”  (“You’re a winner downstate as well,” Barbarino replies.)  Since the Sweathogs win their semi-final, that means that they’ll be facing off against Cassy at the final competition.  However, Barbarino is smitten with Cassy, especially after she instructs him on how a gentleman talks to a lady.  Instead of rehearsing with his group, Barbarino spends the weekend showing her around Brooklyn.  He even takes her to the local diner, where they run into Gabe and Julie, who are having a typically awkward date night.

Speaking of awkward, Barbarino’s date is crashed by the other Sweathogs, who demand to know why Barbarino has been blowing off rehearsal.  Washington explains that winning this competition would mean a lot to the rest of them.  Barbarino realizes that Cassy is the competition and that he can’t compete against the woman he loves.  The disgusted Sweathogs walk out on him as three dreaded words — “TO BE CONTINUED” — appear on the screen.

As easy as it is to be snarky about Three Do’s and a Don’t and their glorified barbershop music, this episode was enjoyable because it allowed to John Travolta to have center state and it also featured some very nice chemistry between Travolta and Amy Johnston.  Barbarino and Cassy are a cute couple, with Barbarino’s earnest stupidity matching up well with Cassy’s earnest intelligence.  Personally, I totally think that Barbarino should ditch his old friends for his new relationship.  I mean, how much happiness can you sacrifice for Arnold Horshack?

Next week, we’ll see if Barbarino finds happiness or if he returns to the Sweathog fold!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th 1.18 “Brain Drain”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Jack falls in love but, unfortunately, someone is stealing brains.

Episode 1.18 “Brain Drain”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 25th, 1988)

Jack, Ryan, and Micki go to the Natural History Museum of Ontario to try to retrieve a trephinator, which is a device that the ancient Greeks apparently used to measure the size of people’s heads.  The belief was that the bigger head someone had, the more intelligent they were.  While at the museum, Jack runs into a former girlfriend, Dr. Viola Rhodes (Carrie Snodgress).  Jack is so happy to run into Viola that he soon seems to forget about the trephinator but instead finds himself planning their upcoming wedding.

(Just to make clear, Micki canceled her engagement so she could spend the next few years of her life tracking down cursed antiques but Jack can apparently just decide to get married out-of-the-blue without it being an issue.)

Well, Jack may have other things on his mind but that trephinator is still out there and it’s dangerous!  It has been incorporated into a chair that allows a formerly developmentally challenged man to steal the brain fluid of others and use it to increase his own intelligence.  Stewart Pangborn (Denis Forest) used to be a test subject but now he’s a scientist.  When he decides that Viola will be his next victim, Jack’s wedding plans are put in danger.

Even after watching this episode, I have no idea what a trephinator is, what it looks like, or how it was incorporated into the big bulky chair that Pangborn used to steal other people’s brain fluids.  Was the trephinator the big needle that would be forcibly inserted into the base of the skulls of Pangborn’s victims?  I don’t know but I do know that the whole point of Friday the 13th was that Chris, Jack, and Micki were searching for cursed antiques.  Overall, it’s helpful to actually be able to look at the screen and say, “Oh, there’s the antique.”

The episode had quite a few flaws, from the bulkiness of the chair to the apparent ease by which Pangborn was able to set himself up as a scientist at the museum.  (Do they not do background checks in Canada?)  The episode’s dialogue had a “It’s only first draft, we’ll think of something better later” quality to it and the performances, even from the usually reliable Denis Forest, felt subpar.  The idea of Jack meeting an ex-girlfriend and falling in love had potential but there was very little chemistry between Chris Wiggins and Carrie Snodgress.  If anything, Jack’s romance reminded the viewers of how strange it was that neither the handsome Ryan nor the beautiful Micki ever seemed to have any amorous admirers.

It was a disappointing episode this week but apparently, next week will feature Ryan joining some sort of Amish death cult.  That sounds promising!

14 Days of Paranoia #1: Fast Money (dir by Alex Wright)


First released in 1996, Fast Money opens with Francesca March (Yancy Butler) stealing a car.

This is what Francesca does for a living.  She steals cars and she’s good at it.  She’s the type of who can look in any trashcan and find something that she can use to pick a lock.  She’s master at hot-wiring a car.  I personally have no idea how to hot-wire a car but, judging from the movies that I’ve seen, it appears to be the easiest thing in the world to do.  Francesca doesn’t just steal cars for the money.  She sincerely enjoys doing it, to the extent that it’s a compulsion for her.  If she sees a car, she has to steal it.

This has not made her popular with the LAPD.  In fact, an entire taskforce has been set up to stop her.  Realizing that she has to get out of town, she rushes to the airport.  It’s there that she runs into Jack Martin (Matt McCoy), a nerdy journalist who is working on a story that could take down a powerful U.S. Senator.  Jack is looking to catch a flight to Reno.  For reasons that aren’t particularly clear, Francesca rushes up to Jack and pretends to be his wife and the recently widowed Jack goes along with it.

Further complicating matters is that Francesca impulsively decides to seal one last car and the one that she picks just happens to have 3 million dollars in mob money and a bunch of counterfeit printing plates in the trunk.  The evil Sir Stewart (Jacob Witkin) wants his money back and he sends Regy (Trevor Goddard) and corrupt detective Lt. Diego (John Ashton) to track down Francesca and Jack.

Soon, Francesca and Jack are desperately trying reach the Mexican border while dodging corrupt cops, FBI agents, and mobsters.  It leads to a lot of car chases, explosions, helicopters, and shoot-outs.  (The otherwise meek Jack turns out to be a surprising good shot.  Neither he nor Francesca freaks out after he shoots multiple people, which is the sort of thing that I would probably freak out about.)  Francesca and Jack also find themselves falling in love but wondering just how much they can trust each other.  Stolen money does that to people.

Fast Money is a cheerfully dumb but entertainingly fast-paced movie, one in which the chase never stops long enough for the viewer to have too much time to try to figure out why the ultracool Francesa would be willing risk her freedom for a relationship with someone as whiny as Jack.  Yancy Butler plays Francesca as being so confident and so fearless that it’s hard not to admire her but there’s also no way that she seems like she would ever have much use for someone as meek and repressed as Jack, regardless of how deadly his aim might be.  One gets the feeling that the only thing keeping this couple together is the adrenaline rush of being hunted.  If Jack and Francesca do make it to safety, their relationship will probably be over by the end of the week.

Though Fast Money is ultimately a fun but somewhat generic direct-to-video action film, I appreciated the film’s vision of a world where everyone from the mob to the police to the FBI were basically working together to track down one career criminal and one innocent man.  When even the usually likable John Ashton is trying to murder you in a cheap motel, you know you have reached the other side of the looking glass.  Jack learns what Francesca has always understood, which is that one should be suspicious of authority.  Though it may not have been the film’s intent, Fast Money‘s ultimate message becomes, “Trust no one but yourself.”

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.17 “T.S. Turner For The Defense”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, it’s time for …. another clip show?  Didn’t we just do a clip show last week?  Far be it for me to complain about having an easy review to write but how does any show get away with doing two weeks straight of clip shows?

Episode 2.17 “T.S. Turner For The Defense”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on May 1st, 1989)

“Things don’t look too good for Amy when, after upsetting the law society, she gets threatened with disbarment.  But even I got nervous when she doesn’t show up for the hearing and it’s left to me to defend her.”

Oh yay!  For the first time since the start of the second season, an episode of T and T opens with Mr. T offering up a synopsis of the episode’s plot.  It’s been so long since this weird but fun trick has been employed by the show that I originally assumed that this episode was originally meant for the first season.  But then I spotted the character of Joe Casper in the background of a courtroom scene and Joe didn’t become a regular character until the second season.  Who knows why Mr. T introduced this episode.  I’m just glad that he did.

As for the episode itself, Amy’s adventures with T.S. Turner have finally led to her facing disbarment proceedings.  Unfortunately, right before heading with Amy to the hearing, Amy’s attorney has a heart attack.  Amy blows off the hearing to go to the hospital with her friend and, for whatever reason, it doesn’t occur to her to call Turner or anyone else at the hearing and let them know what’s going on.  I mean, her lawyer had a heart attack.  Under normal circumstances, this is the sort of thing that would lead to the hearings being postponed.

So, with Amy missing, T.S Turner takes it upon himself to defend her at the hearings.  Keep in mind, T.S. is not a lawyer.  Amy did not hire Turner to defend her.  If there’s not much reason for the hearing to proceed without Amy or her actual attorney, there’s even less for the “law society” to allow T.S. Turner to serve as her counsel.  Maybe they do things differently in Canada but seriously, none of this makes any sense.

Maybe I’m overthinking things.  Like last week’s episode, this is a clip show and obviously, the main concern of the writers was to find an excuse for everyone to talk about Amy’s previous adventures on the show.  Unfortunately, Amy’s adventures have never been as interesting as Turner’s so the clips pretty much all fall into the same three categories: Amy gets mad, Amy gets captured, and Amy flirts with some loser to get information.  It all gets repetitive fairly quickly.

Halfway through the episode, Turner calls Joe to testify.  “What about you, Joe?” T.S. asks Joe on the stand, “Have you ever gotten in trouble?  Tell the court about it, Joe.”  Joe proceeds to talk about how he first met T.S. and Amy and it’s hard not to notice that Joe’s entire story centers on T.S. but not Amy.  Perhaps realizing that Joe hasn’t been of any help, Turner takes the stand himself and talks about …. himself.  We get several flashbacks of Turner beating up criminals and it’s hard not to feel bad for Amy, who isn’t even the center of attention at her own disbarment hearings.

“Every legal indiscretion she has committed is justified,” Turner says as Amy finally steps into the courtroom, “because she has helped so many.”

That’s all it takes for the Canadian Legal Society to decide that Amy can continue as a lawyer.  Yay!