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Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 2.23 “The Greatest Adventures of CHiPs”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, the second season of CHiPs comes to a close.  Now, if you don’t remember much about what happened during the first two seasons of the show, don’t worry.  This finale has got you covered.  But first, let’s watch the opening credits and chair dance to the CHiPs theme song.

Episode 2.23 “The Greatest Adventures of CHiPs”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on May 12th, 1979)

With Ponch and Baker absent from the morning briefing because they’ve gone to Bakersfield to teach a class, Sgt. Getraer announces to the assembled members of the High Patrol that they have been nominated for an award for going beyond the normal call of duty.  Everyone’s totally excited for Ponch and Baker.  Armed with a bulky 70s tape recorder, Grossie asks everyone for their favorite Ponch and Baker stories so that he can write a speech honoring them….

Yep, it’s a clip show.

It’s not just any clip show, either.  It’s a 90-minute clip show.  Of course, there’s only about fifteen minutes of new footage.  The rest of it is made up of scenes of Baker yelling at motorists and Ponch smiling.  Even when CHiPs attempts to show why both of them deserves a reward, it’s obvious that Baker does all the work and Ponch gets all the credit.

I understand the logic behind clip shows.  They’re cheap and it allows almost everyone to have the weekend off.  They’re not very entertaining to watch, though perhaps they carried more weight in the days before streaming and DVRs ensured that you could rewatch your favorite scenes whenever you wanted to.  They are, however, very easy to review.

This clip show marks the end of the show’s second season.  A clip show always seems like a weak way for a season (much less a show) to go out but again, I get it.  Everyone’s tired.  Everyone wants to head to Cabo for the summer.  Get us out of here!  CLIP SHOW!

(That said, this clip show does get some credit for including some pretty groovy disco footage!  SOLID!  Estrada gets to do his Travolta impersonation while everyone watches and claps.)

The second season of CHiPs was actually pretty entertaining, even if it is kind of silly just how much the show highlights Ponch over Baker.  Technically, of the two of leads, Larry Wilcox was the better actor but Erik Estrada always seemed like he was having more fun.  The second season had a few dud episodes but it also had its share of spectacular stunts and a lot of lovely California scenery.  Sindy Cahill being perfect at everything got old pretty quickly but at least Arthur “Grossie” Grossman was around to provide some comic relief.

Well, that’s it.  There’s not too much you can say about a clip show.  Next week, we’ll start season three!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.10 “Streetwise”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Bill Paxton and Wesley Snipes walk the streets of Miami!

Episode 3.10 “Streetwise”

(Dir by Fred Walton, originally aired on December 5th, 1986)

I was excited to see that this week’s episode of Miami Vice featured guest turns from not only Wesley Snipes but Bill Paxton as well!  Then I remembered that guest stars never survive their episode and I felt a little bit sad.  I know what was coming.  Miami Vice is not a show that features happy endings.  Anyone who gets involved in Miami’s vice trade is destined to end up dead, regardless of how innocent or guilty they may be.  It’s a dark world in Miami.

Paxton plays Vic Romano, a vice cop from a neighboring precinct who is arrested during a prostitution bust.  Romano has been having an affair with Carla Cappoletti (Alice Adair), an emotionally fragile prostitute who is abused by both her pimp, Silk (Wesley Snipes), and almost all of her clients.  She knows that Vic is a cop and Vic knows that she’s a prostitute but neither one of them cares.  As Vic puts it, they’re in love.

The Vice Squad is shocked to find that Carla is carrying cocaine that is almost totally pure.  Trying to track down who is supplying Silk with the cocaine, the squad discovers that neither Carla nor Vic want to cooperate.  While Vic tries to explain things to his wife, Tubbs goes undercover as a pimp.  He bails Carla out of jail and tells her that she works for him now.  When Silk shows up to object, Tubbs easily beats him up.  Silk may talk tough but, without a gun to back him up, he’s not much of a fighter.

When Tubbs demands that Carla go to Silk and find out where he’s been getting his cocaine from, Carla refuses.  Tubbs, still pretending to be a pimp, proceeds to yell at her and tear up a hotel room.  A sobbing Carla begs Tubbs not to hurt her “too much,” and Tubbs realizes that he’s gone too far in trying to maintain his cover.  He shows Carla his badge.  It’s always kind of easy to laugh at the way that Tubbs trots out his fake Caribbean accent whenever he’s pretends to be Rico Cooper but Thomas does a really good job in this episode and he is genuinely frightening when he starts yelling at Carla.  I found myself wondering just how far Tubbs actually would go to maintain his cover and I was actually relieved when he pulled out that badge.

It ends, as things often do with this show, in a shootout.  Silk is gunned down by Crockett and Tubbs but not before Romano is shot by Silk.  Romano dies in Carla’s arms and I felt a little teary-eyed.  Bill Paxton was a wonderful actor and he gave a likable and sincere performance as Vic Romano.  Watching the episode, I never once doubted Romano’s love for Carla.  Both Snipes and Paxton were well-cast as their doomed characters.  Neither one survived the hour but I doubt anyone who watched the show ever forgot them.

TELEFON – Charles Bronson plays a KGB agent in a movie that inspired The Naked Gun and Tarantino’s Death Proof!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

When I was a kid, FOX-16 out of Little Rock, Arkansas would have “Charles Bronson weeks” where every night they’d show a different Bronson film.  I saw several of his films for the first time during those weeks and TELEFON was one of those movies.  I remember really enjoying it that first time I saw it, and I’ve always carried that positive feeling with me.  

The plot of TELEFON is pretty interesting.  In a nutshell, Charles Bronson is Russian KGB agent, Grigori Borsov, who’s been sent to the United States to stop radical Russian Nicolai Dalchimsky (Donald Pleasance), before he can set off more hypnotized human time bombs.  Lee Remick is a beautiful Russian agent (double agent?) who helps him with his mission.  

I personally think TELEFON is an underrated Charles Bronson film, and it seems like a movie that has almost been forgotten.  This is strange to me because it had quite the pedigree at the time of production.  Bronson was a huge star at the time, and the director was Don Siegel, the man behind such classics as DIRTY HARRY, ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ, and THE SHOOTIST.  The cast is exceptional as well, with Bronson being joined by the likes of Donald Pleasance, Lee Remick, Tyne Daly, Sheree North and Patrick Magee. The screenplay was co-written by Peter Hyams, who would go on to direct such excellent films as OUTLAND, THE STAR CHAMBER, and RUNNING SCARED.  My point of sharing all of this is that true professionals were at work in front of, and behind the camera, and they created a damn fine Cold War thriller.  I was glad that Shout Factory put out a nice blu ray of the film in January of 2024.  Hopefully film enthusiasts will begin discovering the film again.  

With that said, TELEFON isn’t a perfect film and I do have a few small complaints.  First, Charles Bronson doesn’t appear in the film until we’re already 21 minutes deep.  That’s a long time for me to have to wait for the man!  Second, Bronson and Remick don’t have a lot of sexual chemistry.  She’s beautiful and he oozes masculinity, but somehow it doesn’t really extend to a real connection between their characters.  That’s one of the reasons I like it when Bronson works with his wife Jill Ireland.  That chemistry is usually there between them.  Third, Donald Pleasance wears several wigs and looks kind of dorky at times.  Fourth, Sheree North wears a housecoat during her section of the film.  If you’ve seen her in BREAKOUT with Bronson from a couple of years earlier, you understand just what a missed opportunity that was.  Finally, Tyne Daly is so good in her small role, but she ultimately just kind of exits the film.  I’d have liked even more of her.  These are small complaints, with the exception of Bronson’s entrance & North’s wardrobe choice, that I don’t really hold against the movie.  

The last thing that I want to mention is that there are a couple interesting pop culture references to TELEFON in movies that came out later.  First, the writers of THE NAKED GUN borrowed the plot about hypnotized human time bombs in their own plot to assassinate the visiting Queen of England.  Certain scenes are taken directly from TELEFON.  I remember watching THE NAKED GUN in theaters in the late 80’s and wondering if I was the only person who realized this fact.  Second, in DEATH PROOF, Quentin Tarantino used the major plot device of quoting the Robert Frost poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” in order to trigger something. In TELEFON, it was human time bombs.  In DEATH PROOF, it was human lap dances.  God bless Quentin Tarantino!

#SundayShorts with NIGHTHAWKS!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Since Sunday is a day of rest for a lot of people, I present #SundayShorts, a weekly mini review of a movie I’ve recently watched.

Deke DaSilva (Sylvester Stallone) and Matthew Fox (Billy Dee Williams) are two badass New York City Cops. Wulfgar (Rutger Hauer) is one of the most dangerous terrorists in the world. When it’s suspected that Wulfgar is in New York City, DaSilva and Fox are transferred to an elite anti-terrorist squad, led by the British expert Peter Hartman (Nigel Davenport). Will they be able to find Wulfgar and stop him before it’s too late?

I’m a big fan of NIGHTHAWKS. The performances from Stallone, Williams, and Hauer are all excellent. Hauer is especially good as the terrorist, Wulfgar. He knocks it out of the park. The action is hard hitting at times, and the tension builds nicely throughout the film, leading to its audience pleasing conclusion. Definitely recommended for fans of action movies and the stars!

Five Fast Facts:

  1. Dutch actor Rutger Hauer was a huge star in the Netherlands when NIGHTHAWKS was made. This is his American film debut.
  2. Sylvester Stallone and Rutger Hauer clashed early and often while making NIGHTHAWKS. The first day on the set, Rutger Hauer had to film a violent action scene. While filming the sequence, Hauer was injured when a cable that would yank him to simulate the force of being shot was pulled too hard, straining his back. Afterward, Hauer discovered that the cable was pulled with such force on Sylvester Stallone’s orders. Hauer threatened Stallone that he would “break his balls” if he ever did something like that again. Reportedly, they clashed often on the film from this point forward.
  3. The director of NIGHTHAWKS, Bruce Malmuth, played the ring announcer of the All-Valley karate tournament at the end of THE KARATE KID. I was 12 years old when I saw THE KARATE KID, and I wanted to be the karate kid. It’s one of my favorite movies, leading to a lifetime crush on Elizabeth Shue.
  4. Reportedly, during the exciting subway chase sequence, Rutger Hauer continually outran Stallone, who is known for his competitive streak. This is one of my favorite sequences in the film, and Hauer does look extremely fast.
  5. If you’re looking for a reason to upgrade to the Shout! Factory blu ray…the Universal Pictures widescreen DVD omits the use of “Brown Sugar” by The Rolling Stones and “I’m a Man” by Keith Emerson. The 2016 Blu-ray release from Shout! Factory adds them back.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/24/24 — 11/30/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Spending this Thanksgiving week with my sisters, I didn’t watch a lot of television.  I did watch and review episodes of Homicide, Degrassi High, Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, and Monsters.

And, earlier today, I watched episodes of CHiPs, Degrassi High, Baywatch Nights, Monsters, Malibu CA, Check It Out, and Friday the 13th: The Series and I wrote up reviews that will post over the course of the upcoming week.  It’s always nice to have a head start on all of that.

On Tuesday, Erin and I watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  Charlie Brown really was way too nice about Peppermint Patty inviting herself over to his house and then getting upset over being served popcorn.  Myself, I love the fact that Snoopy had a fully cooked turkey that he basically hid from everyone else until it was just him and Woodstock at the house.

On Wednesday, I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen.  I was not surprised to see Lulu eliminated.  I hope Brandon wins this season.

I watched bits of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and also the four football games that were played on Thursday.  My cousins were really into the football games.  I said I thought it would be nice if everyone could win and I got booed and accused of being a commie.  As for the parade, it just made me wish that I was in New York to see it in person.  Maybe next year!

On Friday, I watched episodes of two old 90s shows — Rollergames and Happy Hour.  They were both enjoyably dumb.

And that’s it for this week!

WHITE LIGHTNING – #ArkansasMovies, my celebration of movies filmed in the Natural State!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

I love watching movies that are filmed in my home state of Arkansas. There’s something cool about seeing places I’ve been before showing up on the big screen, and if I haven’t been there before, I can go visit. We’ve had our share of big stars show up in the Natural State. Burt Reynolds, Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Paxton, Robert De Niro, Dennis Quaid, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, and Andy Griffith have all filmed really good movies here. Heck, Martin Scorsese directed one of his very first movies in southern Arkansas. It’s going to be fun revisiting some of my favorites and sharing them with you!

I’m kicking off #ArkansasMovies with WHITE LIGHTNING, the 1973 film from director Joseph Sargent that was filmed almost entirely within 30 minutes of my house in central Arkansas. Burt Reynolds is Gator McKlusky, a good ol’ boy who happens to find himself serving a stint in prison for “stealin’ cars, runnin’ cars, and runnin’ moonshine whiskey.” One day a cousin comes to visit him in prison and tells him that his younger brother Donny has been killed in Bogan County. Suspecting foul play, Gator first tries to escape. When that doesn’t work, he agrees to go stool pigeon and work with the federal authorities to infiltrate the world of illegal moonshining in Bogan County and provide them the names of the big money people in the area. This includes the crooked county Sheriff J.C. Connors (Ned Beatty), who Gator immediately zeroes in on as the key person responsible for his brother’s death.

In my opinion, WHITE LIGHTNING is one of the best of the good ‘ol boy, southern redneck films that were so popular in the 1970’s. One of the main reasons I like WHITE LIGHTNING so much is that while it does has some of the clowning that’s expected in these types of films, the tone gets deadly serious as McKlusky zeroes in on what happended to his brother. Reynolds is especially badass when he stops his signature laughing and goes into vengeance mode. And Ned Beatty is perfect casting as the small-town sheriff who is completely and irredeemably evil. The opening scene shows Beatty boating a couple of bound and gagged young men out into the middle of the lake, shooting a hole in the their boat, and then casually paddling away as the boat sinks. If you came up on him a little later, you’d think he was just heading in from a day of crappie fishing. For a guy that doesn’t look menacing at all on first glance, we know just how dangerous Sheriff J.C. Connors is. And so does Gator. We have a rooting interest in seeing Gator get his revenge.

The primary filming locations in WHITE LIGHTNING are practically in my backyard. My wife and I got married at the Saline County Courthouse in downtown Benton, which is featured very prominently in the film. It’s a beautiful courthouse, with a distinctive clock tower. They decorate it so beautifully for the Christmas season (see picture below). Burt also spends time at the “Benton Speedway” in the film.  This is actually the old I-30 Speedway that was in operation in Little Rock for 66 years. Sadly, the Speedway held its final race on October 1, 2022, which is almost 50 years after filming completed. The rest of the locations used were also in central Arkansas in the towns of North Little Rock, Keo, Scott, Wrightsville, and Tucker. FYI, I don’t recommend poking around Tucker if you’re into film tourism. Tucker is the primary prison unit for the Arkansas Department of Corrections. If you do head that way, just don’t pick up any hitchhikers!

All in all, WHITE LIGHTNING is a movie I whole-heartedly recommend, and it’s especially meaningful to me since it’s so close to home. Billy Bob Thornton would be back in this same area in 1996 to film SLING BLADE.

DRUNKEN MASTER – Jackie Chan gets soused!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

The first Hong Kong actor I ever heard of was Bruce Lee. After that, it was Jackie Chan. I remember in the mid-90’s when RUMBLE IN THE BRONX opened in America and became the number 1 movie at the box office on its opening weekend. Jackie Chan had been trying out for U.S. stardom since the early 80’s with BATTLE CREEK BRAWL, THE CANNONBALL RUN movies and THE PROTECTOR. Now, all of a sudden he was a hot property. Some of Chan’s older movies, like OPERATION CONDOR (1991), SUPERCOP (1992) and DRUNKEN MASTER (1994) were being dusted off the shelves and re-released in America. The entire world was witnessing just what an amazing talent Jackie Chan truly was. 

But long before he became a star in America, Jackie Chan was already one of the biggest stars in Asia. In DRUNKEN MASTER from 1978, Chan plays the martial arts hero Wong Fei-hung. Although Wong Fei-hung was a Chinese martial artist, physician & folk hero in real life, in DRUNKEN MASTER he’s played as a mischievous & arrogant young man who thinks he knows way more than he actually does. He’s such a pain in the butt that his dad, Master Wong, sends for his Uncle So to train him. Uncle So has a reputation as a master teacher who has been known to physically cripple his students in order to teach them the discipline it takes to learn his drunken kung fu. One day, after constantly rebelling against his uncle’s teaching, Wong escapes and runs into the mysterious assassin, Thunderleg. Not realizing who he’s dealing with, the disrespectful young man gets his ass kicked and is thoroughly humiliated. It’s so bad that he goes back to his uncle’s house and submits to his teaching. He finally realizes just how much he has to learn. Wouldn’t you know it, it’s also about this time that Thunderleg is commissioned to kill Master Wong. It seems a greedy guy named Mr. Lee wants access to land under Master Wong’s control for the sole purpose of removing its natural resources without regard for how it affects the other people in the area. When Master Wong says no, he unknowingly signs his death sentence. Will young Wong Fei-hung be able to learn the secrets of drunken kung fu in time to save his dad from the man who had soundly defeated him a short time ago? You’ll just have to watch and find out! 

Jackie Chan is amazing as Wong Fei-hung. I’ve read about the rigorous training and harsh conditions that Chan himself endured in the Peking opera school that he attended as a child and teenager. The positive from that difficult situation is that he learned a brand of acrobatics and martial arts that helped make him an international movie star. As a 24 year old at the time of filming DRUNKEN MASTER, he’s in peak physical condition. As great as he is in his later American movies like RUSH HOUR and SHANGHAI NOON, his athleticism is off the charts here. When you combine Chan’s physical talents with the martial arts director Yuen Woo-ping, you can expect special results. The fight scenes are the primary draw here and they deliver. There’s a reason that filmmakers like the Wachowski’s, Ang Lee & Quentin Tarantino would ask Yuen Woo-ping to choreograph the martial arts in movies like THE MATRIX, CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON, and the KILL BILL’s. 

DRUNKEN MASTER would be a huge financial success and its combination of action and comedy would be the blueprint for success throughout the rest of Jackie Chan’s career. It’s one of the best of its kind. 

Music Video of the Day: When The Earth Swallows Us by Sludge Mother (2024, dir by Jared Robinson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s been a while since I shared any songs about the end of the world.  Will you be watching Inception when the Earth swallows us?  I’ll probably be watching It’s A Wonderful Life for one last time.

Enjoy!