Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
The Cast of One World
One world, we’re living in one world….
Episode 2.2 “Flushed With Love”
(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on September 18th, 1999)
“I love men who work with their hands,” Marci says, “Plumbers, sculptors, hitchhikers….”
Yes, hitchhikers are notoriously sexy and cool.
Marci is saying this because she and Sui are competing to see who can get a date with the totally hot plumber who has shown up to fix the house’s pipes. There’s no water coming through the pipes. Earlier, that interrupted Ben’s shower and he was forced to come down to the kitchen while wearing a towel. “Whoooooo!” the audience responded.
While Marci and Sui compete for the plumber’s attention, Cray, Neal, and Ben try to fix the van that their father has just given them. The van is …. well, it’s frightening. It has shag carpeting. “Chick Mobile” is painted on the back of it. It features a beaded hippie curtain between the driver’s seat and the back of the van. Does it have a strobe light? It really looks like it should have a strobe light. Is that van a’rocking?
Marci ends up getting the date with the plumber, who says that he likes the way that Marci’s eyes light up whenever “you talk about your childhood trauma.” My eyes do the same thing! Woo hoo! Sui freaks out over her “younger” sister dating an old guy (there’s only a year difference between them) and the plumber does turn out to be a bit too aggressive. Marci says that she hates her sister but, fortunately, things work out in the end.
Anyway, the van stuff was kind of silly and a little creepy but the Marci/Sui storyline reminded me of my relationship with my sisters and Alisa Reyes and Michelle Krusiec did a good job of portraying Marci and Sui’s complicated feelings towards each other. So, this episode gets a solid B.
Episode 2.3 “How Neal Got His Groove Back”
(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on October 2nd, 1999)
This episode is all about having a job.
Neal, the smartest kid in the house, quits high school so he can work with a tech millionaire who is obviously based on Bill Gates but who is, for some reason, headquartered in Miami instead of Silicon Valley. Unfortunately, Neal discovers that he doesn’t like working 24 hours a day and he misses school so he quits his job. The audience applauds, little knowing that, in just a few years, Silicon Valley would start to make millionaires and billionaires out of all sorts of dropouts.
Meanwhile, Sui gets a job playing with Ben’s band but it turns out that they just want her to stand on stage and look cute. Sui is initially annoyed that she won’t be allowed to sing but eventually, she realizes that it’s just as much fun to make money for doing nothing. It’s a good lesson.
At the start of this episode, it’s revealed that Mr. and Mrs. Blake use report cards to determine which one of their kids will get good food and which one will have to settle for whatever’s left. That’s kind of messed up. Some people are just better test-takers than others.
This episode gets a C for failing to predict the tech boom.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Season two of City Guys continues as Chris gets a roommate and Jamal gets a gun!
Roll with the city guys….
Episode 2.3 “The Roommate”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 26th, 1998)
After getting into a fight with his mother, El-Train leaves his house and ends up staying with Chris at the latter’s Park Avenue Penthouse. It’s just as dumb as it sounds. El-Train turns out to be a well-intentioned but terrible roommate but at least we get to see Chris’s penthouse once again. Chris’s parents are nowhere to be seen but the butler and the maid make return appearances.
In between trying to get El-Train to move back in with his mom, Chris and Jamal work on a report about the history of New York City. Jamal says that it should be an easy report for them because, “We’re city guys!” The audience cheers and you can practically hear the little voices saying, “Oh my God! That’s the title of the show!”
In yet another subplot, Al convinces Dawn and Cassidy to pose for some pictures that he wants to sell to a magazine. In past episodes, there’s no way that Dawn and Cassidy would have allowed Al to photograph them but, for the purposes this episode, it was convenient to make them less sensible. (Of course, as another example of City Guys struggle to maintain continuity, this episode also overlooks the fact that Cassidy already is a model.) For some reason, a newspaper buys the photographs and puts Dawn and Cassidy’s heads onto the bodies of pregnant women. The audience loves it but Dawn and Cassidy are less amused.
Anyway, this was a fairly silly episode but Steven Daniel’s performance as El-Train continued to be one of the show’s highlights. As the episode ends, El-Train stands at the front of a classroom and prepares to give his report on the history of “Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love! …. starring Tom Hanks….”
Episode 2.4 “Jamal Got His Gun”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 3rd, 1998)
After getting robbed and having a gun pointed at his face while closing up the diner, Jamal illegally purchases a gun and then accidentally shoots his father!
Damn! City Guys got dark!
Of course, this being City Guys, there’s a silly subplot to balance out all of the dramatic stuff. Cassidy ends up being pursued by a wealthy exchange student from a fictional Middle Eastern country. Cassidy worries that she’ll be taken to the desert and she’ll have to deal with getting dry skin. Once again, CityGuys was all about tolerance, unless you were from a country other than the U.S.
But back to the gun plot, I have to give a lot of credit to Wesley Jonathan and, returning in the role of Jamal’s father, Ivory Ocean. Both of them give strong performances in this episode and the scene where Jamal freaks out after realizing that he nearly killed his father is far more powerful than anyone would expect from a show that aired alongside Hang Time and Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Fortunately, the bullet only grazes Jamal’s father and Jamal just gets probation. I guess he can add the additional community service hours to however many hours he had left for the whole Fake ID thing. Between community service, working at the restaurant, and running the school radio station, does Jamal have any free time? Poor guy.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Love, exciting and new!
Let it go, it floats back to you!
We all float down here!
Episode 1.7 “Julie’s Old Flame / The Jinx / The Identical Problem”
(Directed by Don Weis, originally aired on November 12th, 1977)
The Love Boat is jinxed!
Or, at least, that’s what the crew assumes when they meet Horace and Henrietta McDonald (played by Ray Bolger and Harriet Nelson). Horace and Henrietta first met when they were children and they’ve been in love ever since. In fact, they met each other on a cruise. Unfortunately, that cruise was the Titanic!
(Remember, when this episode aired, it had been 65 years since the Titanic sank. So, there were still a few elderly survivors around.)
Anyway, the crew worries that Horace and Henrietta might bring bad luck with them and, before you know it, everyone’s getting injured. Doc Bricker gets hit by a door and ends up having to wear a bandage on his head. Gopher trips in the lounge. Isaac gets whiplash after falling in the pool. Julie ends up wearing an eye patch. To be honest, I think the crew is just clumsy.
While the crew is trying not to die, identical twins Ellen and Helen (Diana Canova) are trying to keep the crew from realizing that they’re both on the boat. (They only bought one ticket.) One of the twins falls in love with Doc Bricker. The other can’t stand him. Bricker being Bricker, he really doesn’t care how the twins feel about him. He just wants to get laid. Still, Bricker spend most of the episode very confused and very afraid of the Titanic jinx.
Meanwhile, Julie is shocked when she discovers that Buddy Stanfield (David Hedison) is on the cruise! Buddy is a wealthy and handsome attorney and he’s also Julie’s former lover. They had a whirlwind romance in Paris but then Julie discovered that Buddy was married and her heart was broken. Now, Buddy claims that he’s divorced and Julie starts to fall for him again. It’s pretty obvious that Buddy is lying but who can blame Julie when he’s played by the classy and suave David Hedison. Hedison played Felix Leiter in Live and Let Die and License to Kill. In between dealing with the jinx, the crew tries to proect Julie from Buddy. Of course, Buddy’s wife eventually shows up but at least Julie has her friends to support her!
Anyway, this was a pretty predictable episode and the plot with the twins was way too silly to believed. It didn’t help that the twins appeared to be in their early 20s while Doc Bricker is in his 40s at least. But David Hedison was a perfect cad and Ray Bolger (who, of course, is best-remembered for playing the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz) and Harriet Nelson were an adorable couple. This episode was nothing special but it was still enjoyable while it lasted.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Smiles, everyone! Smiles! My fantasy is to get this week’s review over with because, to be honest, this was one of the less interesting episodes of the original Fantasy Island. So, let’s get to it!
Episode 1.6 “Treasure Hunt/Beauty Contest”
(Directed by Allen Baron and George McCowan, originally aired on March 11th, 1978)
For this week’s episode of Fantasy Island, we have two so-so fantasies and a lot of scenes of Mr. Roarke and Tattoo arguing with each other. After having an almost brotherly relationship over the past few weeks, Roarke and Tattoo both seem kind of annoyed with each other during this episode. If I had to guess, I’d say that the episodes are probably being shown out of production order and this episode was written and filmed before the show’s producers were sure what the overall tone of the show should be.
Indeed, the first fantasy features Mr. Roarke allowing three people to search for a lost pirate’s treasure on an isolated part of the island. He does this despite the fact that the terrain is dangerous and that he knows that one of the three treasure hunters is planning on killing the other two. When Tattoo points out that a murder would be bad for business, Roarke kind of shrugs Tattoo off. Indeed, in this storyline, Roarke comes across as being rather aloof, as if he has little concern for the troubles of humanity.
As for the three treasure hunters, they are Stu Chambers (Michael Callan), his wife Andrea (Jo Ann Harris), and their friend James (Peter Haskell). Stu is under the impression that James and Andrea are carrying on an affair and, as Mr. Roarke mentioned, he is planning on killing the two of them. Fortunately, he changes his mind during the fantasy and, instead of murdering his wife and his best friend, he instead helps them survive when they get trapped in a cave. In the end, they don’t get the treasure but they do win back their ability to trust each other. One has to wonder what the consequences would have been if Stu had gone through with his original plans. Is there a Fantasy Island police force? Would Tattoo be forced to arrest Stu? Who knows?
Meanwhile, in the other fantasy, Maureen McCormick plays Sally Quinn. Sally is the daughter of a legendary beauty pageant winner. She wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps and win a pageant herself. However, Roarke — who seems far more invested in Sally’s fantasy than the treasure hunt fantasy — figures out that Sally’s real fantasy is to win the love of her father, Neville (Gene Barry). In the end, Sally doesn’t win the pageant but she does learn that there’s more to happiness than being beautiful.
To be honest, both of the fantasies in this episode are pretty dull and predictable. But we do learn a little bit about what Tattoo actually does on the island. He’s the accountant. He starts the show complaining that Mr. Roarke doesn’t charge enough for the fantasies. Tattoo then says he has a fantasy. Mr. Roarke laughs him off, saying that candy shop employees never develop a taste for candy. WHAT!?
We also learn that Roarke and Tattoo enjoy playing Monopoly but Tattoo apparently cheats by using loaded dice. And, to be honest, the thought of Roarke and Tattoo arguing over Boardwalk is such an appealing one that it saves the entire episode.
As for next week’s episode …. hopefully, it’ll involve even more Monopoly!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
It’s time for championship so let’s get to it!
Episode 1.13 “Game Day”
(Directed by Howard Murray, originally aired on December 2nd, 1995)
The final episode of Hang Time‘s first season opens not with the team practicing or Coach Fuller coaching. Instead, it opens with the Deering High gym dark and deserted, with the exception of Samantha. Samantha sits in the bleachers, writing in her diary. As I watched this scene, it occurred to me that, after 12 episodes, we know next to nothing about Sam beyond the fact that she works at the Sports Shack, she’s the equipment manager, and she’s dating Danny. Does she have a family? Does she have parents who wonder why she’s hanging out at the gym in the middle of the night? Why can’t she write in her journal at home? I get the feeling that Sam’s home life must have been some sort of Dickensian nightmare.
Anyway, this episode revolves around Sam remembering the days leading up the championship game and the game itself. She writes that she had never seen Coach Fuller “so pumped,” which means that we get a flashback of Fuller talking to the team in the locker room and yes, he does seem pretty excited. Fuller tells the team that “I know the Huskies are undefeated …. but I know we’re going to win tonight because we’re a family!”
(Here’s my thing, though. The Huskies are undefeated but the Tornadoes are not. So why is the championship being played at Deering High instead of wherever it is that the Huskies are from?)
Fuller leaves the locker room and everyone starts fighting! Oh no! There’s trouble in basketball world! Michael thinks he’s jinxed! Danny and Sam are arguing! Chris and Julie aren’t even talking!
“But I’m getting ahead of myself,” Sam writes, “This all started Monday morning.”
And so, we go even further into the flashback machine. Julie gives Chris a massage outside the school but gets upset when Chris accidentally calls her “Mary Beth.” “It just slipped out!” Chris replies, something that he probably says to Julie a lot. Julie gets upset.
Meanwhile, while having a picnic in the gym (again, with the gym), Sam tells Danny that she loves him. Danny panics and replies, “I like you a lot.” AGCK! Bad move, Danny. It’s bad enough that Sam is apparently not allowed to leave the gym. She’s also got a coward for a boyfriend.
At practice, Coach Fuller tells everyone that they have to play as a team. Fuller says that Chris’s playing has sucked over the past few weeks. What could Chris be doing differently than before? Let’s see. When Chris was playing well, he was dating Mary Beth. Now, he’s dating …. uh oh. Mary Beth overhears and mentions that she used to always kiss Chris before every game. Now, of course, Chris is dating Julie and Julie apparently doesn’t believe in showing affection so it sucks to be Chris.
At lunch, Julie tells Sam that she grew up with four brothers and they can play “every Led Zeppelin song through use of their armpits.” I don’t know if I believe that. Some of those songs are pretty long. Stairway to Heaven is like a 50-minute song if I remember correctly. Julie is worried Chris isn’t over Mary Beth. Sam says that she has nothing to worry about and then writes, “Sometimes, you have to lie through your teeth.”
Danny tries to apologize to Sam, explaining the he thinks people are too quick to use the “L-word.” Sam says she understands but then Danny casually mentions that he “loves” tuna fish. Meanwhile, Earl freaks out because Michael walks under a ladder. Everyone’s getting a storyline in this episode!
Chris also gives into his superstition, sharing a kiss with Mary Beth before the game. Actually, he shares several. He’s so busy kissing her that he doesn’t notice Julie coming out of the locker room until the last minute! Uh-oh.
The game begins with everyone angry at each other. Myself, I’m more concerned that the other team is being played by people who obviously were basketball players and, as a result, they tower over the Deering Tornadoes.
(Incidentally, I spell Tornadoes with an E. Judging by the banners hanging in the Deering High gym, this show does not. However, I’m the one writing the review.)
Before the game begins, Julie tells Chris that she’s not going to be a runner-up to anyone. (But seriously, Mary Beth is so cool that if you were going to be runner up to someone….) Julie then kisses Earl to show that she can have any guy she wants. Earl does the chef’s kiss motion while Chris stares on horrified.
Despite their problems, the Deering High Tornadoes still take the lead. However, Coach Fuller is angry because the score is still too close in his opinion. Hey, Coach, they’re winning! A win is a win. Fuller does praise Chris for playing a great game. We all know who deserves the credit for that. Mary Beth better get the game ball.
In a subplot that is so stupid that I’ve been tying to avoid mentioning it, Michael has been trying to play the game without stepping on any cracks on the gym floor. (He doesn’t want to break his mother’s back. I told you it was stupid.) Fuller yanks him out of the game and sends in a previously unseen player as a replacement. The new player’s name is Bryan Kuta, which feels like such a random name that I’m assuming that was either the actor’s real name or the name of someone on the show’s crew. Later, when Fuller tries to send Michael back into the game, Michael refuses because there’s only 13 seconds left in the quarter. I would make fun of Michael but, to be honest, I refuse to use odd numbers. If you’ve ever wondered why I always use four periods for an ellipsis instead of the standard three …. well, now you know. Anyway, Fuller gives Michael a piece of tape and tells him to use it as a good luck charm.
Danny gets knocked to the ground. Samantha runs out on court to make sure that he’s okay. Michael interrupts the game by grabbing a microphone and announcing, “Samantha Morgan, I love you.” Awwwwwww! Yes, it’s cringey but Sam and Danny are a cute couple so it works.
With only 30 seconds left in the game, Coach Fuller pulls Chris and Julie off the court and replaces them with the second-string players. Of course, the Tornados are up by ten. Let’s see if Fuller would be so nice if it was a one point game! Chris tells Julie that all of the luck came from Julie and not Mary Beth. Personally, I think we all know that Mary Beth deserves all the credit.
The Tornadoes win the championship 84-75. “Well, congratulations,” Fuller tells the players, “You’re the champs.” That wasn’t much of a speech but …. Yay, I guess.
And so, the first season comes to an end. Chris and Julie are a couple! Danny and Sam are in love! Michael is going to be a star! Earl already is a star! I can’t wait to see what happens to all of them next season….
Oh, alright. I’ll tell you what happens next season. Chris, Sam, Michael, and Earl are written out of the show and all of tonight’s storylines are forgotten about. Join us next week for …. THE NEW HANG TIME!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1977’s The City. It can be viewed on YouTube!
“Civilization began when man realized that he could not survive alone. He left the wilderness and built his citadels, security against intruders and erosion from within. The cities of the world have since become the crossroads of trade and ideas. Ideas that have made the human race more powerful than primitive man could ever have dreamed. Among these was an invention, a machine that conquered to contemporary enemies of man: time and distance….”
So goes the opening narration of 1977’s The City. The narrator is the veteran character actor (and television producer) William Conrad and, as he speaks, we sees images of the California desert eventually being conquered by the growing city of Los Angeles. It’s a bit of a portentous opening for a film that turns out to be fairly standard police procedural but it makes sense when you consider that The City was apparently meant to be a pilot for an anthology series about the people of Los Angeles.
The City features Mark Hamill, shortly before Star Wars would turn him into a cultural icon. Hamill plays Eugene Banks, a sweaty, wild-eyed petty criminal who has made his way to Los Angeles from Texas. Banks manages to get a nice apartment and a job working at a gas station. One day, after a lawyer demands that Banks fill the tank of his Porsche, Banks snaps. He grabs a wrench and attacks the car. Then, he attacks the lawyer, beating the man until he dies. Banks proceed to go on a crime and killing spree across Los Angeles, flashing a particularly scary-looking knife whenever he gets the chance.
Searching for Banks are two mismatched cops. Matt Lewis (Robert Forster) is the tough-as-nails, emotionally reserved veteran with a bad knee and a determination to catch the bad guys. The case becomes personal for Lewis after Banks kills his partner. Brain Scott (Don Johnson) is a shaggy-haired country boy, much like Banks. Brian comes from a wealthy family and is a bit more idealistic in his approach than Lewis.
Banks, it turns out, is obsessed with a country singer named Wes Collins (Jimmy Dean). Banks not only resents the fact that Collins has everything that Banks has ever wanted but he’s also convinced that Collins is actually the father who abandoned him when he was a baby. Banks wants to get revenge and he’s not going to let anyone, whether they be a bystander, a cop, or a dog, stand in his way.
Yes, Eugene Banks kills a dog in this film. Fortunately, it happens off-screen but it’s still an indication of just how different this role is from Hamill’s best-known live action role. As the two cops, Forster and Johnson work well together and bring their somewhat stereotypical characters to life but the main reason most people will watch this film will be for the chance to see Mark Hamill play an absolute lunatic. With the exception of his somewhat dodgy Texas accent, Hamill does a good job with the role. He’s got the crazy eyes down and he’s actually frightening when he attacks the lawyer at the start of the film. The film itself is a bit predictable (i.e., the mismatched partners learn to work together, the bad guy gives a speech at an inopportune time) but The City is worth watching for the cast.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, season one comes to an end and season two begins. And with season two, an important new character is introduced. With the start of the second season, we also get new opening credits.
But first, let’s get the end of season one out of the way.
Episode 1.13 “Where’s Dennis?”
(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 5th, 1992)
With their parents out of town, Matt and Jenny throw a big party at the Garrison house and, naturally, the Dreams perform. A promoter comes by the party and tells the Dreams that they’re “sick.” (“That means good,” he adds as the Dreams breathe a sigh of 90s relief.) However, younger brother Dennis feels that his old siblings are neglecting him and he runs away. Can Matt and Jenny find Dennis before their parents come home?
Eh, who cares? The worst episodes of the first season of California Dreams were the ones that focused on the Garrison family.
Episode 2.1 “Jake’s Song”
(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 11th, 1993)
In between the end of the first season and the start of the second season of California Dreams, NBC delivered an ultimatum to the show’s producers. If the show was going to continue, it would need to lose the adults and focus on the band. It would also need to add some more Saved By The Bell-style hijinks.
As such, the Garrison adults were largely dropped, as was younger brother Dennis. Whereas the first season didn’t feature a single scene that actually took place in a high school, the new California Dreams would feature clueless teachers, sputtering principles, and the same high school interiors that would later show up in Hang Time.
Most importantly, the first episode of the second season introduced viewers to Jake Summers (played by Jay Anthony Franke). Jake was a tough guy who rode a motorcycle, wore a leather jacket, and who never lost a fight. Jake was a rocking rebel with the soul of a poet and he was obviously added to the show to try to give the California Dreams some sort of edge. Of course, California Dreams was still a TNBC show so “edgy” really just meant that Jake looked like he might have smoked a cigarette at some point in his life. Jake wore a leather jacket and got a serious look on his face whenever it was time to play guitar but the music was still Disney-level pop. Jake was the toughest California Dream in the way that Joey Fatone used to be the toughest member of NSYNC.
Jake makes his first appearance in California Dreams when he walks into the high school, wearing a leather jacket and followed by several adoring girls. “Woooooooooo!” the audience yells, showing that they already know that the new star of the show has arrived.
Anyway, Jake says that he wants to talk to Matt. Everyone’s terrified that Jake is going to kill Matt but instead, Jake just likes some music that Matt wrote and he wants to offer him some lyrics for the song. Matt discovers that Jake can play guitar and he invites Jake to join the Dreams. The rest of the Dreams are like, “Jake’s too tough and scary!” Can’t they hear how crazy the live audience goes whenever Jake enters a scene? The Dreams need Jake! Of course, Jake isn’t even sure that he wants to join the Dreams but then they all play together at Sharkey’s. Jake becomes a Dream and immediately start to overshadow the star of the show. The future is set.
Jake would eventually become a bit of a neutered character, especially after Matt was written out of the show and Jake took over the band. But, in his first appearance, he actually has enough rebel charisma that it’s easy to understand why the show’s producers decided to build the new California Dreams around him. His surly attitude actually provided a nice contrast to Matt’s more vanilla style. In their first episode together, Jay Anthony Franke and Brent Gore brought out the best in each other.
Would Jake and Matt continue to bring out the best in each other? We’ll find out next week!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
The Cast of One World
This week, the first season of One World ends with a new couple and the second season begins with a shocking break-up. Let’s dive right into it …. because we’re living in one world….
Episode 1.13 “Love is a Many Splintered Thing”
(Directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on December 12th, 1998)
As the first season comes to a close, Ben and Jane finally go on their first date together. Unfortunately, because they are both foster kids, they’re not allowed to live under the same roof if they’re dating. Ben is willing to move out but Jane doesn’t want to be responsible for breaking up the Blake family. At first, they decide to set aside their feelings for the good of the family but then they decide, “Eh, who cares?” And good for them! Nothing should stand in the way of true love.
Meanwhile, Sui tries out for the Olympic soccer team and …. doesn’t make it. But she gets a pep talk from an older player, who assures Sui that she is the greatest young soccer player in the world and that she’s destined to be a big star. While discussing knee injuries, the older player says that she’s been to rehab “more times than Robert Downey, Jr.” Ouch! Take that, future Iron Man!
Finally, Neal gets the phone number of a girl named — hey! — Lisa but then he loses it when Cray and Marci accidentally donate his pants to charity. When he sees someone who might be wearing his pants, he enlists Cray to pick the man’s pockets. Cray ends up getting arrested as a result. Are these kids ever going to get off probation?
Anyway, as far as season finales go, this one wasn’t bad. The dialogue got a little bit heavy-handed, as often tended to happen whenever TNBC tried to get dramatic. But, after 12 episodes, the cast definitely felt like a real family and the chemistry between everyone was believable. Jane and Ben seems like they’ll be a great couple!
Or will they? Viewers in 1998 would have to wait an entire spring and summer to find out! However, readers today can find out right now.
Episode 2.1 “Love and Foster Kids Aren’t Always Blind”
(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on September 11th, 1999)
Two months after he and Jane became a couple, Ben is no longer living with the Blakes. He’s moved into an apartment so trashy that it floods whenever it rains. However, he and Jane are now a couple. Unfortunately, Jane is no longer in love with Ben. It turns out that, according to Jane, “trust and love aren’t the same thing.” After Jane and Ben break up, Ben can safely move back into the house. Yay!
But wait, the Blakes have adopted another teenager, Eddie. And Eddie’s blind! Surely they’re not going to kick out a blind kid. Oh wait, it turns out that Eddie’s just faking to get special treatment. Once Neal figures out that Eddie can see, it becomes perfectly acceptable to kick Eddie out and back into the system. Ben moves back in and, like magic, the show is back to where it all started. Well, that was convenient….
In fact, it’s all a bit too convenient and considering what a good job the show did bringing Ben and Jane together, it’s hard not to be disappointed with how cavalierly it broke them up. Seriously, if Jane and Ben can’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of the world!?
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
It’s time for another school year at Manny High! The second season of City Guys opened with the video yearbook in the past and the school radio station in the future. It also featured Chris with the first of many unflattering haircuts. (It’s fully on display in the cast picture above.)
So, without further ado, let’s do it….
Episode 2.1 “Men Behind Bars”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 12th, 1998)
It’s time for a new school year at Manny High and it’s also time for City Guys to do a “fake ID” show! Apparently, in the 90s, fake IDs were the number one social problem amongst teenagers and, as a result, every single TNBC show did an episode about all the terrible things that can happen when you use a fake ID. The basketball players on Hang Time got suspended for using fake IDs. Zach Morris got yelled at by his mother for using a fake ID. I’m sure something terrible happened to the California Dreams as well, though I can’t remember what it was off the top of my head. Fortunately, I’m reviewing the show on Saturdays so I guess I’ll find out eventually.
On City Guys, Chris and Jamal end up going to jail.
Chris and Jamal just wanted to use the fake IDs to get into a fund-raiser with Tyra Banks. But, when they got caught with them, they were thrown behind bars. Not wanting to call their parents, Chris and Jamal called Al and El-Train to bail them out. Of course, the show had already gone out of its way to establish that Al and El-Train were petty criminals so guess who got arrested when they show up at the jail? (El-Train pretended to be a lawyer, which was too stupid to be believed but at least it allowed for some Steve Daniel humor.) Needless to say, Chris’s new pageboy haircut made him very popular in jail.
Meanwhile, at a school auction, a tutoring session with Dawn and Cassidy is purchased by Bed-Stuy’s Vinnie and Rocco. The show acts as if this is a fate worse than death but do you know who didn’t end up in jail because of their fake IDs? Vinnie and Rocco, that’s who!
“Trying to meet Tyra Banks wasn’t worth all this!” Jamal declares in his prison cell, guaranteeing that he will never be invited to guest judge America’s Next Top Model.
Anyway, don’t touch the fake ID, kids. They’re just not worth the trouble and, if you’ve got the right attitude and if you know how to turn on the charm, you can usually talk people into not checking your ID in the first place. A friendly smile is worth a hundred fake IDs.
Episode 2.2 “Shock Jock”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 19th, 1998)
Manny High Radio is back on the air!
That’s right, Manny High had its own radio station. So did Bayside on Saved By The Bell. So did the high school from California Dreams. I bet Hang Time had its own radio station as well. In the 90s, dusty high school radio stations were as familiar a sight on Sunday morning television as teens trying to get into a club with a fake ID. Seriously, how do these students have time to run a radio station and go to class?
Anyway, Chris and Jamal become the station’s new DJs, presumably because last season’s video yearbook collaboration went so well. However, Chris and Jamal do not bother to learn all of the broadcast regulations, which leads to them playing a forbidden rap song about how much school sucks. The school board tries to shut the radio station down so, just as happened on Saved By The Bell and California Dreams, the students get dressed up, attend a school board meeting, and save the radio station! Of course, before that, Chris and Jamal try to start a pirate radio station, broadcasting as “The Voice.” Amazingly, no one realizes that Chris and Jamal are “The Voice,” despite the fact that they were the two DJs who caused Manny High Radio to get shut down in the first place.
The main problem with this episode is that it was hard to imagine anyone getting excited over Chris and Jamal’s radio program. Maybe teenagers in 1998 really were as impressed with Good Morning Vietnam call-outs as Peter Engel seemed to believe. Who knows? But, to me, I think most people would change the station or turn down the volume as soon as they heard that, “Good moooooooooorning, Manny High!”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you….
The Love Boat 1.5 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”
(Dir by Richard Kinon and Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 29th, 1977)
This week’s cruise is all about remaining true to yourself!
For instance, Julie makes what appears to be a big mistake when she agrees to let a washed-up comic named Barry Keys (Phil Foster) do a show in the ship’s lounge. Throughout the cruise, Barry gets on everyone’s nerves with his old-fashioned jokes and his vaudeville stylings. Captain Stubing gives Julie an annoyed look whenever Barry starts to speak. Julie knows that her career is on the line but she made a promise. And Barry, it turns out, know what he’s doing. When it comes time for his performance, he asks for a stool so that he can sit in the middle of the stage and talk about the generation gap. (“Let’s rap, as the kids say,” Barry says.) Hooray! Barry has revived his career and Julie still has a job.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Warner (Ruth Gordon) is determined to find a husband for her granddaughter, Shirley (Patty Duke, who spends the entire episode looking as if she’s wondering how she could go from winning an Oscar to this). Shirley would like to hook up with the pleasantly bland Dave King (played by Tab Hunter). Mrs. Warner wants her to go out with Dr. Bricker! In the end, Shirley stands up for herself, as any single 30 year-old should. (To be honest, I thought Patty Duke’s character was closer to 40 but that’s mostly the fault of whoever in the costume department decided to make her wear some of the least flattering outfits available.) It’s all for the best. Dave is a nice guy and Doc has an exam room full of pornographic magazines to take care of.
Finally, a group of college students board the ship with one mission in mind. They want their friend Dan (Robert Hegyes, who has a truly impressive head of hair) to lose his virginity. Dan, it turns out, is not only shy but he also has no idea how to talk to women. Fortunately, her runs into Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) and it turns out that Marica likes shy, socially awkward guys with a lot of hair. Okay, technically Maureen is playing Barbara Holmes but seriously, we all know that Barbara was actually Marcia.
This was a majorly uneven episode. Barry’s revised act didn’t seem any funnier than his old stuff and it was kind of hard to sympathize with Shirley and her inability to make her own decisions. That said, Maureen McCormick and Robert Hegyes made for a cute couple and their storyline was the most satisfying of the episode. Personally, I think this episode would have worked better if Ruth Gordon had played Maureen McCormick’s grandmother as opposed to Patty Duke’s. McCormick was young enough that it would have been a bit less pathetic for her to be bossed around by her grandmother and one can imagine how Ruth Gordon would have reacted to McCormick picking hairy Dan over a doctor.
Oh well! The important thing is that everything worked out in the end and love won’t hurt anymore.
Through the Shattered Lens 