Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.2 “Vagabonds”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week’s episode features a future Oscar nominee!

Episode 5.2 “Vagabonds”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on October 11th, 1981)

The saying goes that “everyone had to start somewhere,” and, for actor Ed Harris, somewhere included guest-starring on an episode of CHiPs.

The future Oscar nominee appears as Lonny Wilson, the scion of a family of a hillbilly con artists.  He and his brother, Daws (Jesse Vint), purposefully cause auto accidents and con their victims out of their money in return for not calling the police or the insurance company.  Lonny’s young son, Jamie (James Calvert), is looking forward to joining the family business until he actually is injured while taking part in one of the family’s cons.  Lonny reconsiders his way of life and, by the end of the episode, he’s cooperating with the highway patrol.

Does Ed Harris come across as being a future star in this episode?  Well, he definitely has charisma.  He has screen presence.  That said, this is also CHiPs, a show that was mostly about capturing potentially serious auto accidents in slow motion.  No one came across as being a future star on ChiPs and that was actually a part of the show’s appeal.  The stars on CHiPs were always the motorcycles, the cars flipping over on the freeway, and Ponch’s blinding smile.  That said, Ed Harris gives a good performance.  For that matter, so does Jesse Vint as his brother.  This is a well-acted episode of CHiPs.  Such things do exist.

In all fairness, I should also note that, when this episode aired, Harris had already starred in George Romero’s Knightriders so, while Harris may not have been a household name, it’s probably still debatable whether or not this was really at the start of his career.  Ultimately, the important thing is that, two years after appearing this episode, Ed Harris would play John Glenn in 1983’s The Right Stuff and firmly established himself as one of our best character actors.

As for this episode, it also features the Highway Patrol taking part in a “supercycle” race, which is a race featuring bicycles that you lie down on as you peddle.  I don’t know why anyone would want to do that but whatever.  Jon Baker wins.  Yay, Highway Patrol!

On that note of victory, Retro Television Reviews is going on a holiday break so that I can focus on the Oscar precursor awards and reviewing Christmas movies so this will be last CHiPs review of 2025!  CHiPs will return on January 5th, 2026!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.1 “Suicide Stunt”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the fifth season begins.

Episode 5.1 “Suicide Stunt”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on October 4th, 1981)

The fifth season opens with the Highway Patrol pursuing a gang of thieves and also keeping an eye on Janos Szabo (Les Lannom), a motorcycle daredevil from Hungary who has come to Los Angeles to take part in charity show for “Highway Patrol Widows and Orphans.”

Since Hungary was controlled by the evil communists (hisssss!) when this episode originally aired, I assumed the episode would be about Janos trying to defect so that he could start a new life in the greatest country on Earth, the USA (yay!).  Instead, it turned out that Janos was more concerned with spending time with an ex-girlfriend named Maria (Anita Jodelsohn) who had defected (Good for you, Maria!) and was now working for the Highway Patrol.  The entire episode was pretty much scene after scene of Janos sneaking away from his handlers, stealing a vehicle, and then trying to kidnap Maria.  Maria found it to be amusing.  The members of the Highway Patrol were amused.  Even Janos’s handlers seemed to be secretly amused.  Still, when Janos set a fire outside of the CHP headquarters to distract everyone so that he could steal another car (this one with Maria in it), Ponch had no choice other than to arrest him.

“I am glad it is you who arrest me,” Janos says to Ponch, smiling like an idiot.

With Janos arrested, it falls on Jon Baker to perfect the stunts while riding Janos’s motorcycle.  And Baker is able to do it easily, even the one that involves bursting through a ring of fire.  So, I guess they didn’t need Janos to begin with.  They should have just had Baker do it and they could have saved a lot of money.  Way to waste the taxpayer’s cash, Jerry Brown!

(He was governor at the time.  Then, like 30 years later, he was governor again.)

Odd episode, this one.  Most season premieres try to go big but this was pretty much just another episode of CHiPs.  The California scenery was nice.  I always appreciate that this show was largely shot on location and, as a result, even the worst episodes have some value as a time capsule.  That said, Janos was an incredibly annoying character.  The fact that the show meant for us to laugh at his antics made him even more annoying.  There’s only so many times you can watch one jackass try to abduct one woman before you say, “Enough already!”

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.21 “A Special Operation”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the fourth season comes to an end.

Episode 4.21 “A Special Operation”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson., originally aired on May 17th, 1981)

Season 4 comes to an odd end with A Special Operation.

Getraer is injured when he crashes his motorcycle.  He takes a piece of metal to the face and he nearly loses his eyesight.  Luckily, the abrasive but brilliant Dr. Patterson (James Sloyan) is able to save both Getraer’s eye and his ability to see with it.  However, the idealistic young Dr. Rhodes (A Martinez) worries that Patterson may have missed something.  Can Patterson set aside his ego long enough to listen to his younger colleague?

Hey, wait a minute, isn’t this CHiPs?

I don’t have any way to prove this but there’s a part of me that strongly suspects the season finale of CHiPs was also a backdoor pilot for a medical show.  So much time is spent with Patterson, Rhodes, and the nurses at the local hospital that it just feels like there was some hope that viewers would call in and demand to see more of Dr. Rhodes.  A Martinez even gives a very Erik Estrada-style performance in the role of Rhodes.

Speaking of Estrada, he’s barely in this episode.  (Ponch, we’re told, is preparing for to testify in a big court case.)  It largely falls to Jon Baker to stop the assassin (Eugene Butler) who has been hired to try to take Getraer out of commission.  This, of course, leads to the assassin stealing an ambulance and Baker chasing him.  The ambulance flips over in slow motion but somehow, the assassin survives to that Baker can arrest him.

It was a strange end for a season that’s largely been dominated by Erik Estrada and his performance as Ponch.  (Larry Wilcox, I will say, looked happy to have the finale to himself.)  For the most part, Season 4 was an uneven season.  The writing so favored Estrada over Wilcox that the show sometimes felt like it was turning into a parody of itself.  The show that started out about two partners on motorcycles became a show about how Ponch could literally walk on water and do no wrong.

Next week, we start season 5!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.19 “Vigilante”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

It is time to leave the Bronx….

Episode 4.19 “Vigilante”

(Dir by Arnold Laven, originally aired on May 3rd, 1981)

A citizen’s patrol has taken to the streets of Los Angeles and, despite their good intentions, they’re getting in the way of the Highway Patrol.  They’re supposed to call the cops if they actually see anything but one member of the group is trying to take the law into his own hands.  If that wasn’t bad enough, Getraer has someone sending threatening messages to his house.  Getraer thinks that he can handle things on his own but apparently, he’s forgotten the name of the show that he’s on.

This episode wasn’t bad.  I actually appreciate any episode that gives Robert Pine a chance to do more than just bark out orders as Pine was one of the better actors on the show.  Because Getraer was under so much pressure, he ended up snapping at a lot of the officer during the morning briefing and one got the feeling that Pine enjoyed getting to yell.  Still, at one point, Getraer punishes Grossman by giving him desk duty and you have to wonder if maybe that’s why Los Angeles now needed vigilantes to keep the streets safe.

The vigilantes themselves reminded me a bit of New York’s Guardian Angels.  I checked and the Guardian Angels were themselves formed in 1979 so I guess it’s possible that this episode was inspired by them.  I can’t say for sure because I don’t know how prominent the organization actually was in 1981.  Today, of course, the Guardian Angels are once again very prominent because their founder, Curtis Sliwa, is running for mayor of New York.  Apparently, he’s stuck in third place, which is a shame when you consider who is in first and second place.  Personally, I would vote for Sliwa because he owns six cats and I happen to be collector of berets but I’m also not a New Yorker.

As for vigilante justice, I don’t condone it but I certainly see the appeal.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.18 “The Hawk and the Hunter”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, we finally meet Barizca’s family.

Episode 4.18 “The Hawk and the Hunter”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on April 5th, 1981)

In this episode, we learn a little bit more about Officer Barizca.  Played by Brodie Greer, Barizca has been an important member of the ensemble since the first season but, up until this point, we really haven’t learned much about his life outside of driving a patrol car and directing traffic at crash sites.

It turns out that Barizca’s father, Pete (Sandy McPeak), is a crop duster.  When it becomes clear that Pete is getting too old to fly his airplane, Barizca takes a leave of absence from the Highway Patrol so that he can help out.  Hopefully, Barizca will find the courage to finally tell his father that it’s time to retire.

Meanwhile, there’s an environmentalist nutjob named Lyle (Dwight Schultz) who is convinced that the Barizcas are spreading poison with their airplane.  Lyle has been sending threats to Pete so, eventually Barizca flies over Lyle and covers him in pesticide to help the Highway Patrol arrest him.  So, I guess Lyle really is going to die now.

At the end of the episode, Pete retires and Barizca returns to patrolling the highways.

This was an okay episode, in that the scenery was nice and I did appreciate that the show made an effort to focus on something other than Ponch being the best at everything.  Dwight Shultz was believably unhinged as Lyle and there was an interesting tension between him and Baker as both of them were Vietnam vets.  Unfortunately, the Barizcas themselves just weren’t that interesting.  This episode was a case of “You’ve seen one strained father-son relationship, you’ve seen them all.”

That said, I hope next week’s episode will introduce us to Grossman’s family.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.14 “Lady of the house/Mrs. Brandell’s Favorites”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

Justice for Tattoo!

Episode 7.14 “Lady of the House/Mrs. Brandell’s Favorites”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on February 25th, 1984)

This was one of the Fantasy Island episode that was not on my DVR.  However, now that the show is once again streaming in its entirety on Tubi, I was still able to watch it. Lucky me.

This is probably the worst episode of Fantasy Island that I’ve ever seen.

This episode gets off to a bad start with Mr. Roarke informing Lawrence that there will only be one guest with a fantasy this week.  That guest is Esther Brandell (Polly Bergen).  Whenever there’s only one guest and that guest is played by a middle-aged actress who was big in the 50s and the 60s, you know you’re about to spend an hour watching an hour of awkward melodrama that you’re supposed to excuse by saying, “She was great in Kisses For My President!”

Mrs. Brandell says that she’s a former sorority house mother who wants her three favorite sorority girls to be her bridesmaids at her wedding.  Actually, Mrs. Brandell was a former madam and the three “sorority girls” all worked for her.  Bebe (Lauren Tewes), Coleen (Randi Oakes), and Lynn (Shelley Smith) have all moved on and want to keep their past a secret.  Over the course of the episode, each will admit the truth to their current partner and each will realize that Mrs. Brandell really did protect and care about them.

This episode basically features the same scene over and over again.  Each of the girls works up the courage (or the anger) to admit that they were once a prostitute.  Their significant other reacts.  One guy tries to blackmail Mrs. Brandell.  Another reveals that he knew all along because “I’m an investigative reporter.”  Bebe’s idiot boyfriend (Dick Gautier) refuses to believe Bebe and insists that she sleep with another man for money so that he’ll be convinced.  What?  Bebe realizes that’s not her lifestyle anymore and she really does love her idiot boyfriend, the same one who pimped her out to some random guy on the Island.

And, through the whole thing, Polly Bergen delivers her lines in a voice that sounds like she just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes.  The truth of the matter is that Bergen is absolutely lousy in the role but the script is probably as much to blame as Bergen herself.  Every scene feels like it’s been cribbed from an old Barbra Stanwyck melodrama.  At the end of the episode, the vice cop (Robert Brown) who used to bust her shows up at the wedding.  “Everybody freeze!” he says.  Oh, thank God, everyone’s getting busted for overacting.  Oh wait — Mrs. Brandell (a widow) is marrying him!

The episode ends with the wedding, which would be touching if any of these characters were actually interesting.  Lawrence gives away the bride because I guess they had do something to justify paying Christopher Hewett’s salary.

This was not a good trip to the Island.  Is this season over yet?

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.17 “New Guy In Town”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, there’s a new cop on the beat!

Episode 4.17 “New Guy In Town”

(Dir by Arnold Laven, originally aired on March 15th, 1981)

Ponch is upset because the new rookie on the team, T.C. Hunsacker (Joseph Hacker), is just too perfect.  He’s still on probation but he’s already good at his job.  He’s a professional.  He’s got a good sense of humor.  He’s a good bowler.  He’s as comfortable talking about classical music as he is talking about cars.  He’s not arrogant.  He’s nice to everyone.  Everyone likes him.  Ponch cannot stand that TC doesn’t seem to have a flaw.

Yeah, Ponch, it’s kind of annoying when someone knows everything and can do anything, isn’t it?  Seriously, who does this Hunsacker fellow think he is when we all know that this is….

Ponch has other things to be concerned about, though.  Martin Beck (Chris Connelly) and Lina Beck (Jenny O’Hara), the brother and wife of someone who died while being chased by Ponch and Baker, are determined to get revenge by killing both of them.  Baker is nearly taken out in a hit-and-run.  Ponch nearly gets blown up in his car.  Fortunately, TC was there to tell Ponch not turn the key in the ignition.  TC noticed some wires on the ground and immediately realized there was a bomb in Ponch’s engine….

Wow, is there nothing TC cant do!?

I really am starting to see Ponch’s point.  TC really is too good to be true.  According to the imdb, this was the only episode in which he appeared.  I know that Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada apparently were not getting along during the filming of CHiPs and that Wilcox was threatening to leave the show because he thought the producers favored Estrada over him.  Maybe this episode was meant to set up Hunsacker as a possible replacement in case Wilcox did leave.  That’s really the only reason I can think of for this show to have devoted so much time to a character who has never been seen before and who, apparently, will never be seen again.

The focus on TC made this an uneven episode but there were a few good chase scenes and a slow-motion van crash.  And really, that’s all that one can really ask from this show.  An exciting chase can make up for a lot!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.16 “Karate”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch reveals even more hidden talents!

Episode 4.16 “Karate”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on March 8th, 1981)

Ponch and Baker have been assigned to patrol Ponch’s old neighborhood.  Ponch says that he feels as if he can see a ghost on every corner.  Baker laughs and says that at least they have an easy assignment.

Not so fast, Baker!

Andy Macedon (Lewis Van Bergen) is paying teenagers to steal dirt bikes for him.  Macedon went to school with Ponch.  Macedon was a few years ahead of him and he was always a bully.  Now, Macedon is setting up a crime ring.  He’s even got Donny Bonaduce working for him!

Ponch’s solution?  Ponch decides to encourage the neighborhood kids to come to the local youth center by having Bonnie teach gymnastics while Ponch teaches karate.  Are you surprised to discover that, on top of everything else, Ponch knows karate?  You shouldn’t be.  You’re watching….

Admittedly, it doesn’t start off well.  When Andy Macedon comes down to the Youth Center and personally challenges Ponch to a fight, Ponch backs off.  He does it because he doesn’t want to make trouble for the Youth Center but the kids view him as being a coward.  If Ponch is ever going to stop Andy Macedon and keep young Rivas (Mario Marcelino) from falling under Macedon’s evil spell, he’s going to have to beat Andy in a karate street fight with everyone watching.

And that’s exactly what Ponch does.  Why?  Because it’s the Ponch Show and there is nothing that Ponch cannot do!

This episode featured a combination of bass-heavy music and not just Erik Estrada but also Danny Bonaduce doing karate moves so you know it was a classic.  I related to Terri (Kari Michealson), the teenager who couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a gymnast or a criminal.  I went through the same thing when I was 16.  Ballet or crime?  Crime or ballet?  I compromised by shoplifting makeup after my dance classes.

There is nothing Ponch can’t do.  Never forget.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.15 “Ponch’s Angels: Part Two”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch continues to train Melanie and Paula.

Episode 4.15 “Ponch’s Angels: Part Two”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on March 1st, 1981)

We pick up where we stopped last week.  A man and his girlfriend are stealing purses and wallets at the marina.  Three escaped convicts are in a deserted house and digging for buried treasure.  Ponch and Jon are having to train two new motorcycle cops, Paula (Barbara Stock) and Melanie (Trisha Townsend).  When last we checked in, Ponch was kissing Melanie.  This episode opens with Ponch telling Melanie that they can never kiss again.

Ponch and Baker continue to train Paula and Melanie.  Ponch decides to switch with Baker.  He trains Paula while Baker works with Melanie.  But then almost the entire highway patrol comes down with the flu and, when Baker is put in charge while Getraer recovers at home, Ponch finds himself to work with both Paula and Melanie.  Once again, it’s all on Ponch because it’s The Ponch Show!

It’s all a bit exhausting to try to keep up with, to be honest.  Ponch and Baker spend this episode wondering whether or not women actually could handle being motorcycle cops.  Baker especially seems to be confused at the idea of a woman driving a motorcycle.  One gets the feeling that Ponch is just mad because he knows he’ll get fired if he tries to make a move on either woman.  Almost this entire episode is made up of Ponch trying to keep track of who is riding with who.

Luckily, Paula and Melanie prove themselves by catching the purse snatchers and also helping to catch the escaped convicts.  Good for them!  At the end of the opposite, they toss their motorcycle helmets in the air and leap for joy.  The picture freezes while Ponch and Baker have a good laugh.

I was not surprised to read that this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a Paula/Melanie show.  Stock and Townsend were both likable and they acted well opposite each other so I could actually imagine them starring in a fairly entertaining series.  It didn’t happen, though.  Maybe the network felt that Ponch and Jon didn’t need the competition.

This was an okay episode of The Ponch Show.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.14 “Ponch’s Angels: Part 1”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch protests having to do his job.

Episode 4.14 “Ponch’s Angels: Part 1”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

It’s a busy week for the Highway Patrol!  The marina is full of tourists and carnival-goers.  A group of escaped convicts are trying to get out of town.  A man and his partner are stealing purses.  But all of that pales in comparison to what Jon and Ponch are having to do.

Jon and Ponch are having to train rookies!

Even worse, from their perspective …. the rookies are women!

Ponch protests when he’s given the assignment to train enthusiastic and blonde Melanie Mitchell (Trisha Townsend).  He tells Getraer that Melanie is attractive and that Getraer knows what happens when Ponch gets around attractive women.  Getraer replies that he wants Ponch to train Melanie precisely because Ponch has so many girlfriends.  A man with many girlfriends will be less likely to be tempted.  Okay, Getraer, that’s interesting logic….

And it turns out that Getraer doesn’t know what he’s talking about because this episode ends with Ponch and Melania passionately locking lips.  “TO BE CONTINUED” flashes on the screen so I guess we’ll get to the disciplinary hearing and the subsequent lawsuit next week.

As for Jon, he trains Paula Woods (Barbara Stock), who is as cool and reasonable as Melanie is enthusiastic and impulsive.  Paula tries to flirt with Jon but Jon keeps it all business because Jon is capable of actually doing his job in a professional manner.

What’s odd about this episode is that it’s called Ponch’s Angels, even though Ponch is only training one of the new motorcycle cops.  This season, even the episode titles were all about erasing Jon Baker!

Anyway, as I mentioned, this is the first part of a two-parter.  Apparently, this episode was actually a backdoor pilot for a series that would have focused on Melanie and Paula and it’s easy to see that Melanie was created to be another Ponch while Paula was created to be a female Jon.  Next week, we’ll see if Paula and Melanie can make use of the lessons they were taught by Jon and Ponch.