Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the CHiPs team investigates an accident and a guest star gives a really terrible performance.

Episode 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on May 10th, 1981)

An accident in the mountains causes three cars to explode and one driver to die.  Since the dead driver was a captain with the Los Angeles fire department, the MAIT Team is sent out to recreate the accident and to try to figure out what happened.  They know that at least three cars were involved in the accident.  One driver died.  One driver is in the hospital.  And the other driver appears to be missing.  Getraer suspects that the accident could be due to people racing each other in the mountains.

What makes this episode odd is the casting of Joanna Kerns as psychiatrist Colleen Jacobs.  She’s assigned to the MAIT Team.  She actually drives through the mountains frequently and she even gets involved in racing sometimes.  In fact, she saw one of the cars right before the accident!  At first, she doesn’t bother to share this with anyone.  Instead, she just sits in the background with a guilty look on her face.  Finally, Jon Baker — in an unmarked car — tricks her into trying to race him.  That’s when she finally confesses….

….and faces absolutely no consequences!  Oh sure, Getraer gets a little annoyed and says that it would have been helpful if Dr. Jacobs had been honest from the start.  But Dr. Jacobs is allowed to continue to work with the MAIT Team.  Even though she intentionally withheld evidence from investigators, she’s not charged with obstruction.  Ponch tells her that she’s getting a chance to redeem herself which I don’t think is police policy.  No one comments on the fact that, even though she was worried that she may have previously caused a fatal accident, she still tried to race Baker.  Does no one care that, at the very least, she appears to have no impulse control?

Making things even stranger is that Joanna Kerns gives one of the worst performances that I have ever seen as Dr. Jacobs, delivering half of her lines as if she’s struggling not to laugh.  Even when she’s admitting her fear that she may have been responsible for the accident, she still seems like she’s on the verge of breaking out into laughter.  It’s very odd.

Speaking of odd,  an eccentric old man named Max (Owen Brooks) claims that he saw a UFO before the crash.  (Dr. Jacobs laughs when she repeats this.)  It turns out that he just saw a hubcap flying through the air.

In the end, it’s proven that the captain was not at fault in the accident.  That’s all that anyone really seems to care about.  I assume that Dr. Jacbos and Baker then proceeded to race each back to Los Angeles.

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 17: A Man’d Be Proud (originally aired December 31st, 1966) – Series Finale


Episode 17, the final episode of this short lived TV series, begins with Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) in serious need of a cook at his cattle ranch. While lamenting the horrible state of the vittles that he and his men are being forced to consume to Sam Grafton (Sam Gilman), it’s suggested that he consider asking Marian Starett (Jill Ireland) to be his cook. Ryker ends up taking Sam’s advice and heads out to the Starett ranch to see her and even gets invited to stay for dinner. None of this is setting well with Shane (David Carradine) or Tom Starett (Tom Tully), as neither man trusts Ryker, especially since he has spent the better part of the first 16 episodes of the series wanting to take the ranch away from them. They make their feelings very obvious as Ryker plays nice and Marian seems to appreciate his suddenly more caring and complimentary nature. Later at Sam’s bar, Ryker begins telling Sam about how good it would be to have a woman to spend his time with. Sam tells him “You’re talking like a man in love.” It really seems that Ryker may be falling for Marian. He even gets a fresh shave and haircut. Shane walks in on Ryker getting his haircut and gets pissed all over again. He heads back to the ranch and tells Marian, who offers to give Shane his own haircut, that Ryker is “trying to court you,” hoping that she’ll put down the idea. Sensing what Shane is up to, Marian decides to play devil’s advocate and acts like dating Ryker isn’t such a bad idea. It drives Shane crazy, which seems to be making Marian quite happy. Ryker keeps pressing forward, even bringing Marian some excellent peanut brittle. As a jealous Shane tries to warn Marian that Ryker is dangerous, she asks Shane why he cares, clearly wanting him to answer honestly, which he doesn’t. Will Shave ever admit to Marian that he loves her?!! Will Ryker be able to convince her that he can give her a good life at his ranch? Will Tom threaten to kick Shane’s ass if he doesn’t handle his business with Marian? The good news is that all such questions are answered in this final episode.

While episode 17 presents a strange conundrum, Shane vs. Rufe Ryker for Marian’s attention, I must admit that I found it an excellent conclusion to the series for several reasons. First, Rufe Ryker’s best nature is finally revealed. Throughout the series Ryker has been a lot of bluster, but with a couple exceptions, he has mostly been a reasonable man and has even worked with the Starett’s multiple times for the good of the valley. His feelings for Marian bring out a sensitivity and kindness in him that we have not seen before. Being one of the more interesting characters, I liked that he was given even more depth this late in the series. Second, there’s a scene late in the episode where Tom confronts Shane, chews his ass out and tells him he’d kick that same ass if he was a little younger since he’s not “man enough” to take care of his business. So many times people dance around and do everything possible NOT to tell people how they feel in these shows. Not this time, as Tom tells Shane exactly how he feels and he doesn’t pull a punch even slightly. It pisses off an already pissed off Shane even farther, but these are words he needs to hear, and they spur him to action. I’ve mentioned some of Tom Tully’s excellent moments in the past, but he saved the best for last. I found it to be one of the best individual moments of the entire series. Finally, you’d think this storyline and the fact that it’s the very last episode would force Shane to finally tell Marian how he fills about her. I’m not going to spoil the ending, but throughout the entire series, Shane has been shown to be a man of action, not of words, and that aspect of his character remains unchanged to the very end. You’ll have to watch for yourself to find out exactly what I mean with that last statement.

I started watching this series for two reasons; I loved the 1953 movie SHANE with Alan Ladd, and I wanted to watch Jill Ireland in an on-screen role that does not rely on Charles Bronson. After watching every episode, I can confidently state that SHANE is a solid TV series, and that Jill Ireland does a fine job as the beautiful Marian Starett. And even better, it’s been a lot of fun sharing my thoughts with the readers of The Shattered Lens. Thanks to all who have joined me!

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 14: The Big Fifty (originally aired December 10th, 1966)


Episode 14 begins with one of Rufe Ryker’s men, Ed Bain, cutting barbed wire fence on the Starett ranch so their herd of cattle can go to a watering hole. As he’s cutting the fence, the sounds of gunshots from a “Big 50” rifle ring out as he’s shot and falls over. Shane (David Carradine) and Joey (Christopher Shea), who are riding through the area, hear the shots and find the wounded man. He rushes him to Sam Grafton’s saloon to see if Sam (Sam Gilman) can do anything to save him. Unfortunately the man was shot in the gut and there is no hope. About the time he dies, Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) and his men come into the bar. He immediately asks Shane why he killed him. Shane, picking the wrong time to be a smartass, tells Ryker that if he had killed him it would have been for his cutting their fence, but that he didn’t do it. Ryker doesn’t believe him and neither do his men. They decide that Ed Bain deserves justice because “he was not only a good hand, but he was a good man.” Out for blood, Ryker decides he’s going to put Shane on trial for murder right then and there with only his men as the witnesses and jury. I call this the “Saint Bain” portion of the story. Harve (Lawrence Mann) tells us what a brave and hardworking man Bain was. Bain’s best friend Greevey (a guest starring Wayne Rogers) tells about all of their good times and card playing together. It seems that Bain is such a good guy that Shane clearly deserves to die even though none of them actually saw him shoot the man. 

While the sham of the trial is going, the saloonkeeper Ben (Owen Bush) slips out the back and rides out to the Starett ranch to tell Tom (Tom Tully) and Marian (Jill Ireland) what’s going on. The two immediately set about trying to round up some of the homesteaders to go into town with them to try to stop Ryker and his men from hanging Shane. One by one, each of the homesteaders turn them down because “this is not their fight” and reason that Shane probably did it because “he’s a gunfighter.” Knowing they have zero chance against Ryker on their own, Tom and Marian come up with a plan. He’ll head to Laramie to get the U.S. Marshall, and she’ll go try to buy some time from Ryker with the only bargaining chip they have, the deed to the family ranch. 

Episode 14 of Shane is a bit of a mixed bag. On the positive side, the gun that is used to kill Ed Bain at the beginning is a unique and interesting element of the story. The weapon is a Sharps “Big 50,” a .50 caliber rifle that was designed for buffalo hunting and introduced in 1872 by the Sharps Rifle Manufacturing Company. The Big 50 joins a tradition of powerful weapons in filmed entertainment that provide their users with an advantage over their adversaries. Other examples include the Winchester 73 rifle, Dirty Harry’s 44 Magnum and Paul Kersey’s 357 Wildey Magnum in DEATH WISH 3. At one point, the killer is firing the Big 50 into the Starett cabin at Shane, Marian and Joey. Based on the power of the gun as already shown, there is a real sense of danger that someone could be seriously hurt. There was also one good scene centered around the unspoken love between Shane and Marian, even if Shane wasn’t a part of it. With Shane’s life seriously in jeopardy, Tom reassures his daughter-in-law, “honey, you’ve only been in love with 2 men in your whole life. I’m gonna make sure you don’t lose them both.” She sure doesn’t protest. It was a sweet scene and I enjoyed that as well. 

On the negative side, episode 14 featured the most lazy storytelling thus far in the series. The series has gone to great lengths to show Rufe Ryker as a man who’s hard-as-nails, but also mostly reasonable. The writers throw that out the window in this storyline and require him to behave completely irrational in his quest for vengeance for his hired man. It would be one thing if Ed Bain was his son or something, but Ryker’s line about him being a “good man” doesn’t get close to explaining the turnaround in his behavior. And not only do they present him as irrational, they make him incompetent to boot. Joey rides up and convinces Ryker that he’s only there to take Shane some food. Ryker even checks his slicker for a gun before letting him go in. Turns out Joey did have a gun under his jacket and Ryker just didn’t find it. The show had seemed to really be hitting its stride before this episode and the lazy storytelling surprised me. They should have introduced a new character if they were going to make him so irrational and incompetent. That description just doesn’t fit the Ryker of the first 13 episodes. 

Overall, this may have been the least enjoyable episode so far. While it did have some good moments, I’m still struggling to let go of the way they changed Ryker’s character so completely for this one. We’ll see what happens with him over the last few episodes of the series. While I’m slightly disappointed with episode 14, I’m still looking forward to seeing what happens next. 

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 13: A Long Night of Mourning (originally aired December 3rd, 1966)


Episode 13 of SHANE opens with a beautiful woman walking into Grafton’s General Store while Joey (Christopher Shea) is there looking at the candy jars. Since Joey doesn’t have a penny, she offers him one, which he immediately converts to 8 pieces of peppermint. She asks Joey his name, and when he replies “Joey Starett,” she asks back, “Is your grandpa, Tom Starett?” When Joey answers in the affirmative, this classy lady takes on the look of someone who has found what she’s been looking for. She takes a room at Grafton’s and tells Sam that someone will be joining her soon and that she’ll need a second room for when he arrives.

Back at the ranch that evening, Joey is telling Shane (David Carradine) and his grandpa Tom (Tom Tully) about the woman at Grafton’s. Tom immediately gets a troubled look about him when Joey tells him that her name is Lydia Montgomery (Joanne Linville).  Coincidentally, Shane knows Lydia Montgomery because he had worked for her husband Dave awhile back in Springfield, IL, which is where Tom had lived before moving out west to Wyoming to be with his son Joe & daughter-in-law Marian (Jill Ireland). Shane asks Tom how he knew Dave Montgomery, and Tom surprisingly reveals, “I had him hanged.” It turns out that Tom had been a judge in his prior life. Convinced of her husband’s innocence and blaming “Judge Tom Starett” for his death, Lydia and her hired gun Lee (Bill Fletcher) have come to Cross Roads to kill him on the 5th anniversary of the hanging. Even Shane may not be enough to stop them. 

After mostly playing the kind old grandpa up to this point in the series, Tom Tully takes center stage in episode 13. It’s actually quite surprising because it reveals things about Tom’s past that had not even been hinted at in prior episodes. Not only do we learn that Tom was a judge, but we also learn that he was a terrible drunk who escaped out west to be with his son and daughter-in-law and get away from the guilt associated with decisions he made from the bench. His entire countenance changes from the man we’ve come to know the moment he hears the name Lydia Montgomery, and we watch him go through several stages that are quite predictable for a man living with guilt. First, we see him get extremely defensive and start lashing out at his family as he tries to explain why he sentenced Dave Montgomery to be hanged. This is clearly a man who doesn’t feel good about the decision. Next, we see him go back to the bar to get drunk, something he hasn’t done in many years, in order to numb his pain and help him forget, if even for just a little while. We can see that he almost feels that he deserves whatever he gets from Mrs. Montgomery, and her gunman. And finally, when he’s confronted by Mrs. Montgomery again at the end, he’s arrived at the point where he can plainly state the truth of what happened, admit his own shortcomings in the situation and accept whatever fate comes his way. I won’t reveal the entire circumstances of the case that brought all of this about, but I will say that it definitely points out the shortcomings of the American justice system where justice and the law don’t always coincide. Tully does a good job of presenting a much more complex man underneath the hardworking and kind grandpa character we’ve been presented with thus far. Tom is like the rest of us, we’ve all got our different stories and some of them aren’t so pretty when you scratch beneath the surface. 

Guest star Joanne Linville is very good as Lydia Montgomery, the grieving widow who, in the years after her husband’s death sentence, has elevated him from being a mere mortal to a place of sainthood. Through her relationship with the gunman Lee Maddox, a man who clearly loves her, we learn that she has never come to terms with the reality of his life or death, and she certainly has never accepted that he’s really gone. Her obsession with taking revenge on one man, Tom Starett, has basically stopped her life in its tracks and she needs to deal with her emotions even more than Tom does. The rest of the cast doesn’t have that much to do in the episode, although there are a few good moments for them. Shane is mostly there to provide Tom some physical protection, while also questioning his decision on that fateful day from five years earlier. His interactions with gunman Lee Maddox are pretty good as they had worked together in the past and respect each other. They don’t want to have to go against each other, but they will if it comes down to it. Jill Ireland has a good scene as Marian where she confronts Lydia Montgomery about her plans to kill Tom. It’s a tense scene and the ladies go at it back and forth nicely. They don’t resolve anything, but it’s another effective way to beat home the moral dilemma the episode presents. 

Prior to watching Episode 13, the last thing I was expecting was an installment of the series devoted entirely to Tom Starett, and I probably wouldn’t have really wanted one. With that said, I enjoyed it for what it was and I’m glad to be able to see Tom as a more complex man. This didn’t really leave any time for longing looks between Shane and Marian, but we did get a brief look of love at the very end, and I’ll take it. 

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 11: The Day the Wolf Laughed (originally aired November 19th, 1966)


Episode 11 of Shane opens with a group of outlaws making their way across the valley after pulling off a lucrative robbery. Needing a couple of days to lay low and rest their horses, they decide to take over Sam Grafton’s bar to drink and blow off some steam. They reason it’s a safe place to stay since there doesn’t appear to be any law in the area. Their leader is Reno (J.D. Cannon), with Augie (Skip Homeier) as his right-hand man, Grant (Daniel J. Travanti) as his enforcer, and a couple of others for good measure. Shane (David Carradine) and Marian (Jill Ireland) happen to be shopping in Sam’s general store when Reno and his men come into the bar. They can hear them breaking bottles and bullying Sam around in the next room. Sam comes into the general store and asks his employee Ben (Owen Bush) to ride out to Rufe Ryker’s ranch and ask him if he will come help with these guys. Soon the outlaws walk into the general store, where Shane and Reno immediately recognize each other. It seems the two gunslingers grew up together under the tutelage of an old man they called “The Wolf,” who taught them everything they know. Because Shane knows how skilled and dangerous Reno is, he asks Sam to let them stay for the next couple of days, and Reno agrees to pay Sam well for his trouble. Sam reluctantly agrees and Shane and Marian head back to the ranch. 

A little later Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) and his men ride into town and enter Sam’s bar. Reno gets the drop on them and sends them back out with their tails between their legs. They regroup back at Ryker’s ranch and decide to go back to town and try force the outlaws out of the bar. On the way, Ryker stops off at the Starett’s ranch to try to convince Shane to help. Shane tells Ryker that the best thing he can do is leave Reno and his men alone and wait for them to leave in a couple of days. With his pride hurt, Ryker is in no mood for listening and heads to town anyway. When the shooting starts, Ryker and his men are caught in a deadly crossfire. Trying to retreat, Ryker is shot and severely injured by Reno. While Ryker tries to recover, his men decide they are going to stake out the bar so they can be in position to kill Reno and his men when they try to leave. Feeling trapped, Reno instructs a couple of his guys to go to the nearest ranch and get a hostage to help them with their escape. When the guys grab a local girl named Shirley and Marian, who was in the area looking for their cow Katrina at the same time, Shane finally decides to enter the fight against Reno. Their old mentor “The Wolf” always predicted that their relationship would end with one of them killing the other. It looks like he just may be right. 

“The Day the Wolf Laughed” is my favorite episode of the TV series SHANE so far, as it really leans into Shane’s skills as a gunfighter and pits him against a man in Reno who’s every bit as skilled. When the two men first see each other in Sam’s general store you can tell that they really do respect each other. Reno goes so far as to tell Marian that “you have a good man. He’ll fight for you.” As soon as you hear those lines, you know Shane will end up having to prove those words to be true. Even though Shane spends most of the episode trying to convince other people that they just need to leave Reno alone, he doesn’t hesitate to take matters into his own hands the moment Marian is put in danger. This is the first episode of the series where Shane really lives up to the reputation that is always being hinted at in the series, and I loved it! 

Episode 11 is also elevated by its game cast of guest stars. J.D. Cannon (DEATH WISH II) is an especially strong adversary for Shane. He can be extremely cold blooded, but he’s also respectful, somewhat likable, and you believe that his word means something. You almost hate it when the two end up squaring off at the end. Daniel J. Travanti (HILL STREET BLUES), with a thick mustache, is quite intimidating as the enforcer of the gang. He seems quiet and laid back until he’s called upon by Reno. His countenance then completely changes, and you don’t really want to be on the other side of his gun at that point in time. It was also nice seeing Skip Homeier show up as Reno’s right-hand man, Augie. Homeier appeared in the excellent 1957 Budd Boetticher/Randolph Scott western THE TALL T, and he provides good support here as well. As far as the main cast, David Carradine and Bert Freed take center stage in this episode, with both men doing a great job. Freed, in particular, has created a strong, complex character in Ryker over the course of the first 11 episodes, and I’ve actually grown to like him.

Overall, for a fan of badass western action, this episode was right down my alley. Shane and Marian may not have shared any long, lustful looks, but Shane proves his love by putting his life on the line for her against Reno’s gang. We only have 6 more episodes to go, and it will be fun to see where we go from here.  

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 1: The Distant Bell (aired September 10th, 1966)


I’ve been called “Charles Bronson’s biggest fan” on multiple occasions and by people I greatly respect. It’s possible that’s close to being true, but I chose to buy the entire TV series of SHANE on DVD because I wanted to watch Bronson’s wife, Jill Ireland, in a role that doesn’t include her more famous husband. I also wanted to see a young David Carradine as Shane. It doesn’t hurt that the 1953 film starring Alan Ladd is one of my absolute favorite movies. 

The very first episode of SHANE starts off with Mr. Starett (Tom Tully) and the new schoolmarm (Diane Ladd) riding into town. They immediately run into Mr. Ryker (Bert Freed) and his henchman Harve (Lawrence Mann), who tells them in no uncertain terms that there will never be a school in this town. Enter Shane (David Carradine), who works for Mr. Starett. He tells Harve to get out of the way, and Mr. Starett, the school teacher and Shane head out to their ranch.

The new school is going to be in Ed Howell’s (Karl Lukas) barn. Mr. Howell is concerned about the school and his own personal safety since he’s heard of Ryker’s threats. Mr. Starett reassures him that everything will be okay so they head to Grafton’s general store to purchase supplies. Mr. Ryker shows up there and tries some more intimidation. When they leave the store, they notice a fire off in the distance. It’s Ed Howell’s barn. Appalled by all of this violence, the schoolteacher catches the next stage out of town. 

Marian Starett (Jill Ireland), old man Starett’s daughter, decides she will teach the school. She knows her son Joey (Christopher Shea) needs to be educated along with the other children in the area. Since the barn was burned down, Marian asks Mr. Grafton if they can use the saloon to hold their classes since men don’t come to drink until 4:00 or later. Of course, now Mr. Ryker decides to come early and start drinking. They break bottles and glasses on the floor while the kids try to do their multiplication tables. Scared for the children, Marian takes the kids out and the future of the school appears to be in doubt again. 

Shane decides he’s had enough of this crap. He begins building a school out in the country and tells Marian that school will start there tomorrow. He’s prepared to defend the school against Ryker, Harve and anyone else who gets in the way. The next morning, Shane tells Marian & Mr. Starett to listen for the school bell. If they hear it, come on. If they don’t, there will be no school. Harve confronts Shane at the new school building. If Shane is defeated, the idea for the school and the education of the kids in the valley will be dead with him…

I enjoyed this first episode. The main cast does a fine job. David Carradine is a solid Shane. He has the confidence of a man who knows his true value is his ability with a gun. He doesn’t lead with the gun, but he’ll go there when it’s required. Jill Ireland is also good as Marian Starett. There’s a nice bit of sexual tension between her and Shane, and she’s also good as the doting mother to Joey. It is nice to see her in a role that doesn’t involve Charles Bronson, and she’s good in this first episode. Tom Tully is good as old man Starett, Marian’s father-in-law. His character is necessary as a guy who provides some needed relief between Shane and Marian. Finally, Joey is played by Christopher Shea. I’ll have to see how he grows on me as the series progresses. He’s fine in the first episode. Interestingly, he voiced Linus in the classics, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” so I’m willing to give him some space to grow! 

I’m looking forward to seeing where the series goes. It’s a total of 17 episodes so it won’t take too long to get there! 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.22 “Sail Away”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan helps a novelist get in touch with his long-passed muse.  He also helps him repair his relationship with his grandson before it’s time to move on.

Episode 2.22 “Sail Away”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 2nd, 1986)

Two novelists travel to a remote island.

Frank Worton (Lew Ayres) grew up on the island and was inspired to write a series of paperback romances based on his love for a girl named Jenna.  Sadly, Jenna died when Frank was a teenager and his books were his way of trying to get continue their relationship, if just in his imagination.

Todd Worton (David Einser) is Frank’s grandson.  Todd writes 3,000 words a day and is very strict about his routine.  He’s never written anything as successful as his grandfather’s pulpy romances and he feels that his grandfather has never respected his work.  What Todd doesn’t realize is that Frank feels the same way about him.

When they travel to the Island, Frank starts to act strangely.  He moves into the abandoned house where Jenna lived and claims that it still looks the same as it did when he was a young man.  At one point, he thinks that he sees Jenna walking along the beach.  Is he going senile or is he being haunted by a ghost?

Or is he being prepared for death?  Jonathan and Mark are running a ferry service, taking people to and from the Island.  (I can understand Jonathan knowing how to do all of this, as he’s an angel.  But how does Mark casually go from job to job?  That man’s resume must be a mess at this point.)  Just as he did with Eli Wallach a few episodes ago, Jonathan is preparing Frank to move on.  By the end of the episode, Frank is boarding a sailboat and heading off with his beloved Jenna.  But not before Todd reads the last novel that Frank wrote about Jenna and Frank reads the novel that Todd wrote about him.  The two finally make peace and Jonathan, in voice-over, tells us that both books became best sellers.

Awwww!  What a sweet episode.  This episode is largely a showcase for Lew Ayres and he definitely delivers, giving a heartfelt performance as a man haunted by his past.  If you don’t cry when he gets on that boat, you don’t have a heart and you might want to get that checked out.  You need a heart to live or so they tell me.

In the end, this is an episode that will make you want to sail away.  And while Highway to Heaven has never exactly been known as a subtle show (and I imagine that was by design), I am somewhat impressed at the restraint it must have taken to not include Styx’s Come Sail Away on the soundtrack.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark falls in love and Jonathan directs a movie.

Episode 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 21st, 1984)

This is a strange episode.

The first half of the episode plays out like almost a parody of Highway to Heaven.  In fact, I would assume that it was a parody except for the fact that this was only the show’s tenth episode and that’s a bit early for any show to start intentionally parodying itself.

Still in Hollywood, Jonathan and Mark come across a sign that has been posted by someone named Joey.  “Angels Needed,” the sign says.  The sign has an address that turns out to be a community center, one that is populated by a mix of cranky retired people and young criminals.  The center’s maintenance worker is a developmentally challenged young man named Joey Smalls (Dennis Fimple).  Joey put up his sign because he wants an angel to help an elderly screenwriter named Martin Lamm (John Lormer).  Martin has written a script about a magician and he wants to not only make the film but also fill the cast with people from the neighborhood.

No sooner have Mark and Jonathan stepped into the community center and met Joey and Martin then they are suddenly joined by a man named Petros (Al Ruscio).  Petros speaks in a thick Greek accent and he says that he has also seen Joey’s sign, he has read Martin’s script, and he wants to produce the movie.  And he wants Jonathan to direct it and Mark to play the role of a sea captain who falls in love with a woman who has “a past,” as Petros puts it.  As the woman, they cast Stella (Stella Stevens), who actually does have a past.

We then jump forward several weeks.  Jonathan is directing the film, even though he doesn’t seem to have a crew and we don’t actually see any cameras filming anything.  Joey has impressed everyone with the sincerity of his acting and he is now friends with former gang member, Chewy (Randy Vasquez).  Mark, meanwhile, is falling in love with Stella.

So, that’s the first half of the episode.  It’s all very broadly acted and the dialogue frequently crosses the line from sentimental to mawkish.  I have to admit that I rolled my eyes more than a few times because it all felt so overdone.

But then, the second half of the episode opens with Petros approaching Jonathan.  Jonathan asks Petros about his past.  Petros says that he was born in Galilee and that, before starting his current line of work, he was a fisherman.  Jonathan realizes that Petros is actually St. Peter and he’s been sent down to help Jonathan out with his mission.  It turns out that Jonathan’s mission is not really about Joey or Martin.  Instead, it’s about Stella, who is going to die and it’s about Mark, who is about to lose the woman that he’s fallen in love with.  Realizing that Stella’s character is also going to die in the movie that he’s supposedly directing, Jonathan asks if they can just rewrite the script but Peter tells him that they can’t.  What is going to happen is going to happen.

And it does happen, though not before Mark asks Stella to marry him and Stella says yes.  When she finds out that she’s ill, Stella leaves Mark a note saying that she’s dumping him for an ex-boyfriend.  At first, Mark is angry but, with Jonathan’s help, he realizes the truth.  Mark finds Stella waiting for him on the beach where they filmed their scenes for the movie and they get married as the ocean crashes behind them.  And then, off-screen, Stella dies.

And I went from rolling my eyes to actually wiping away tears because, as broad and kind of annoying as the first half of the episode was, the second half was sensitively directed by Michael Landon and sincerely acted by both Victor French and Stella Stevens.  If the first half felt like a parody, the second half was a reminder of why this show still remains popular on so many streaming platforms.  At its best, there was an unapologetic earnestness to Highway to Heaven.  This was a show that said that it was okay to cry and to have emotions and to care about people.  This was a strange episode but, ultimately, a surprisingly effective one.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Dreamer (dir by Noel Nosseck)


(I am currently trying to clean out my DVR!  I recorded this 1979 sports film off of FXM on February 1st!)

In Dreamer, Tim Matheson plays a character named Harold Nuttingham.  His nickname is Dreamer.  Do you think it’s possible that Harold has a dream!?  Well, it would probably be a really cruel nickname if he didn’t!

Dreamer lives in small town Illinois.  He loves to bowl.  He spends all of his time down at the local bowling alley, where everyone knows him and they all love him and his dreams of becoming a professional bowler.  His mentor is named Harry White (Jack Warden) and runs the pro shop.  Harry dreamed of being a famous, champion bowler but his dreams didn’t come true.  But now he can help Dreamer’s dreams work out.  Everyone loves the fact that Harry is helping Dreamer.  Dreamer’s girlfriend is named Karen Lee (Susan Blakely).  She loves that Dreamer loves bowling but she is frustrated because everyone keeps telling Dreamer that it would be a mistake to take her to his games.  Karen might bring bad luck.

Everyone in his hometown loves Dreamer but the Professional Bowling Association (which apparently is an actual thing) doesn’t love Dreamer.  They don’t want to let Dreamer compete on a professional level.  Or, at least, they don’t until Dreamer meets with them personally and shows off his amazing bowling skills.  Then they love Dreamer.

Even though Dreamer is the new guy on the professional circuit, the audiences love him.  And all the other professional bowlers love him, even when they lose to him.  Everyone loves Dreamer, perhaps because everyone loves a dreamer…

Are you getting the impression that Dreamer might be one of the most positive movies ever made?  Well, it is.  Hardly anyone says a bad word about anyone in Dreamer.  Nobody tells Dreamer to give up.  Dreamer never really suffers from any self-doubt, though he does injure his thumb at one point.  There is a moment of tragedy towards the end of the movie but it’s one of those tragedies that leads to better things.  You can’t have light without a little darkness, though Dreamer seems to suggest that you can come awfully close.

Normally, films get on my nerves when they’re overwhelmingly positive but I can’t really complain about a movie like Dreamer.  It’s just so earnest and sincere.  There’s no real conflict and there’s no real drama but everyone in the movie is just so damn likable that you almost feel guilty for wishing something unexpected would happen.  Dreamer struggles and fails to make bowling cinematic but Dreamer’s a nice guy so you wish him the best.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about Dreamer is that it was directed by Noel Nosseck, who also directed an incredibly odd little grindhouse film called Best Friends.  Best Friends, which I recommend tracking down, is almost the anti-Dreamer.  Watch Best Friends to have your faith in humanity destroyed and then follow it up with Dreamer so your faith can be restored.

Or don’t.  It’s really up to you.