Shattered Politics #70: The Brady Bunch In The White House (dir by Neal Israel)

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What happens when architect and suburban dad Mike Brady (Gary Cole) is elected Vice President of the United States? Well, President Randolph (Dave Nichols) ends up having to resign when it turns out that he’s thoroughly corrupt. Mike Brady is sworn in as the new President and then appoints his wife Carol (Shelley Long) as his new Vice President. He and his wife run an ethical and determinedly old-fashioned administration. When Senators argue, Carol suggests that they need a time out. When Mike is handed a report that indicates trouble for the economy, Mike looks at it, signs it, and says, “We can do better.” When a racist Senator is seated next to a black nationalist at a White House reception, the two opponents are both served peanut butter on crackers by the Alice, the Brady Family housekeeper and soon, they are bonding over their shared love of peanut butter.

Of course, not everything’s perfect. For instance, middle daughter Jan (Ashley Drane) is haunted by voices in her head that tell her that she’ll never be better than older sister Marcia (Autumn Reeser). However, fortunately, Jan discovers a talking portrait of Abraham Lincoln who talks some sense to her.

And then, middle son Peter (Blake Foster) accidentally breaks a priceless Ming vase. All of the other Brady kids take responsibility for breaking it. President and Vice President Brady quickly figure out that Peter was responsible and, in order to make him confess, they punish every Brady kid but Peter. And then…

Okay, are you getting the feeling that Brady Bunch In The White House is a stupid movie? Well, it is. This 2002 film was made for television and serves as a sequel to the earlier Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel. It features the same basic idea as the first two films: the rest of the world is cynical and angry while the Bradys are still trapped in the wholesome world of their old television show. Mike is still offering up life lessons. Carol is still smiling and saying, “Your father’s right.” Marcia is self-centered. Jan is obsessive. Cindy has issues with tattling. Greg thinks every girl that he meets is really happening in a far out way. Peter is always feeling guilty. Bobby … well, Bobby doesn’t do much of anything.

The big difference is that the Bradys are in the White House now. They’re still reliving incidents from their TV show but now they’re doing it in the White House. And, some of it is kinda cute. Well, I take that back. Most of it is really stupid but the part about the vase made me smile despite myself.

So there’s that.

But, honestly — no, I really can’t think of any clever way to prove that the Brady Bunch In The White House is actually a subversive satire or anything that’s really worth recommending.

Sorry.

However, I did see A Very Brady Sequel on Cinemax last night. It’s kind of funny and features a lot of pretty Hawaiian scenery. Go watch that. Forget about the Brady Bunch In The White House…

Shattered Politics #68: The Skulls (dir by Rob Cohen)

Posted on February 4, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What do George W. Bush, John Kerry, and Paul Giamatti all have in common?

They were all members of the Skull and Bones, which may be an organization that secretly controls the world. Then again, it might also just be an organization for male students at Yale, a place for the sons of the rich and famous to get together, drink, and do whatever else rich kids do when they go to an Ivy League college.

One thing’s for sure — when you’re a member of the Skulls and Bones, you’re a Bonesman for life. If you have any doubt about that, go ahead and watch the 2000 film The Skulls. In The Skulls, Martin Lombard (Christopher McDonald) is such a loyal member of the Skulls that, even though he’s currently a provost at Yale, he’s still willing to break a student’s neck in order to keep him from revealing the society’s secrets.

Seriously, do all Ivy League administrators know how to break necks or just ones that were former members of the Skulls? It just makes me glad that I went to UNT, a good school with absolutely no ivy on the walls. A degree from UNT might not translate into membership into America’s elite but at least you don’t have to worry about being targeted by any dangerous secret societies.

(Unless, of course, you’re a TAM. But that’s another story…)

Anyway, the dead student’s best friend is Luke McNamara (Joshua Jackson). We know Luke’s the hero because he doesn’t come from a rich family and he’s attending Yale on a rowing scholarship. Shortly before Will’s death, Luke is invited to join the Skulls and does so because he thinks it will help him court rich art major Chloe (Leslie Bibb). However, after Will death, Luke decides that he has to join so that he can find out the identity of the murderer.

Luke wrongly suspects that the murderer was his new friend and fellow Skull, Caleb Mandrake (Paul Walker). What Luke doesn’t know is that the murder was actually ordered by Caleb’s father, Supreme Court candidate Litten Mandrake (Craig T. Nelson). (As a sidenote, has anyone named Litten Mandrake ever not turned out to be evil?) However, as Luke gets closer to the truth, the Skulls arrange for him to be arrested and put into a mental asylum.

Oh, and Martin Lombard starts chasing after him with a gun.

Remember, this is the same Martin Lombard who is a provost at Yale. Now, I’m not saying that it’s out of the question that a Yale provost could chase after a student with a gun. But, at the very least, it seems like a conspiracy as wealthy and powerful as the Skulls could afford to hire less recognizable henchmen.

In fact, watching The Skulls, you can’t help but suspect that this secret conspiracy is not exactly the smartest conspiracy in the word. Not only do they do a terrible job of hiding their existence but they are continually outsmarted by a bunch of undergrads.

Anyway, eventually, it all leads to Luke challenging Caleb to a duel. A mysterious Senator (William Petersen) shows up and says, “Well done, son, well done.”

It’s all kind of stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d0qdIbUEXo

Trailer: Riddick (Red Band)

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Arleigh

In 2000, a small little scifi-horror film came out starring that guy from Saving Private Ryan. We didn’t really recognize him as the household name of Vin Diesel we know now. It was still that guy who was in that Spielberg WWII film. Pitch Black was a modest success, but modestly enough that a sequel was greenlit right after with a much bigger budget. This sequel was less scifi-horror and more of an epic scifi film that was trying to be the Dune of it’s time. The Chronicles of Riddick wasn’t a modest success this time around and plans for a third film to finish off the trilogy never got off the development stage.

Vin Diesel has since become a big star of some caliber with his Fast and Furious franchise. With the success of the latest film in that franchise it looks like Universal had given the Diesel the go-ahead to make a third film in his scifi franchise simply titled, Riddick.

With a more modest budget than the second film, Riddick looks to return Vin Diesel’s character back to something more similar and thus safe. Riddick is back on a death world of a planet inhabited by dangerous critters who mayor may not hunt once an prolonged darkness sets in. Riddkc must also deal with a pesky band of mercenary bounty hunters after his hide. Where the second film tried to build on the character’s background and further his story in a space opera-like way this red band trailer shows that Riddick is best when playing the anti-hero who may or may not be the villain as well as the hero of the story.

Riddick is set for a September 6, 2013 release date.