PROGRAMMING NOTE: Retro Television Reviews Will Return On March 11th

Posted on March 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone! Lisa Marie here with a quick programming note!

For nearly two years, I’ve been posting daily retro television reviews here on the Lens. That feature is going on hiatus for this upcoming week so that this site can concentrate on the Oscars. Speaking for myself, I know that I have a lot that I need to watch and review before the Oscars are handed out on March 10!

So, my daily reviews of Miami Vice, Baywatch Nights, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, Monsters, Highway to Heaven, T and T, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, Check It Out, and Degrassi Junior High will return on March 11th, after Oscar week concludes!

For now, let’s watch some movies!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”

Posted on February 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

Odd episode, this week.

Episode 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”

(Dir by Warner Shook, originally aired on May 13th, 1989)

Despite having graduated from Yale (and having the sweatshirt to prove it), Xantipe Finch (Deborah Strang) is struggling. Unable to interest any publishers in any of her books and raising her son, Marty (Danny Gerard), alone, Xantipe is forced to make extra money through baking and selling cookies. The bill collectors keep calling and threatening to turn off her electricity and to kick her and Marty out onto the streets.

Then a mysterious man (played by a young Chris Noth) materializes in her kitchen. The man says that he’s come from Hell. Because he won a football bet with Satan, the man has been allowed to come to Earth and to recruit Xantipe to write his autobiography. If the book is published, the man will continue to be a happy demon. If the book fails, he’ll be either demoted or turned into a low-level angel. Huh? What? I don’t know. It didn’t make any sense while the man was explaining it and it doesn’t make any sense now that I’m typing it up.

Reluctantly, Xantipe helps the man. The man, for his part, deals with the bill collectors and also starts to corrupt both Xantipe and her son. The book gets written and published but Xantipe rejects the devil’s influence, even though it means returning to a life of struggling to pay the bills. The episode ends with Xantipe back in her kitchen, baking cookies. The man is also there but he now has tiny angel wings on his back.

Yeah, I don’t know what any of it means either. It makes even less sense when you watch it.

This was not a great episode. It was never really explained why the book has to be written, why Xantipe had to be the one to help write it, or why the man turned into an angel. The episode ended with a suggestion that Xantipe and the man were now in love but there was nothing in the 20 minutes that preceded it that would have set the audience up for that ending. Chris Noth was adequate as the demon and Deborah Strang was likable as Xantipe but otherwise, this episode felt like filler.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/18/24 — 2/24/24

Posted on February 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Greetings from Lake Texoma! It’s been a relaxing week and exactly what I needed. Here’s some thoughts on what I watched out on the deck.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Janine smokes weed every day!”

Finally! After being slightly disappointed with the previous episodes of Abbott Elementary, this week’s episode was definitely a return to form! Whether it was all of the teachers talking about their drugs of choice or the hilarious FADE assembly, this episode epitomized everything that makes this show special. And while Janine smoking weed every day may seem a bit unexpected, it makes sense when you consider that she dated Tariq for ten years.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Whenever American Idol starts a new season, I always find myself saying, “Is that show still on?” Seriously, it’s been a while since American Idol was a huge part of the cultural landscape and it’s been even longer since the show introduced America to genuine talents like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

This season got off to an odd start, with Ryan Seacrest saying that the previous winner had put his home state of Hawaii on the map. No, Ryan — I’m pretty sure people knew about Hawaii before American Idol. As I watched the rest of the first audition episode, it occurred to me that, once again, the judges were too concerned about their own image to really offer up any sort of constructive feedback. That’s one reason why a show like this needs someone who is willing to be brutally honest and who has nothing to lose by being the show’s “villain.” Simon Cowell was a brilliant judge because he could always just hop on a plane and head back to the UK if his criticism ever turned America against him. Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie, on the other hand, all have brands that are based on being likable and not destroying people’s dreams.

Everyone who auditioned had a tragic backstory and they all did that thing were they oversold the emotion of whatever they were singing. It was kind of boring, to be honest. It’s been a long time since the show has produced a true American idol.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

Jeff and I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning. I have no idea what was going on in the episode but a lot of stuff blew up.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Thursday night, Jeff and I watched an episode in which a woman named Lynsey accused her ex of abusing their daughter. That Lynsey was lying was pretty obvious from the start. Eventually, Lynsey got angry and stormed off stage. She came back out a bit later and accused Dr. Phil of turning her story into a “circus.” Usually, I’m totally in favor of people giving Dr. Phil a hard time but, in this case, Lynsey really was the worst.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (YouTube)

He was the father! Yay! I had an episode of this playing in the background on Friday morning while I was in the process of waking up.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

After playing the role for almost as long as I’ve been alive, Sam Waterston played Jack McCoy for the last time this week. McCoy resigned as District Attorney in order to protect his subordinates from the political fall-out of prosecuting a friend of the Mayor’s. I would have liked to have seen McCoy retire on his own terms, as opposed to being forced out. Quitting in the face of political pressure felt out of character for Jack McCoy. And the fact that he resigned to protect Price and Maroun, neither one of whom really feels worthy of the sacrifice, only adds insult to injury.

I find it interesting that almost every episode of Law & Order seems to feature a wealthy murderer. Do poor people not commit crimes in New York City?

Maury (YouTube)

“You are the father!” “You are not the father!” “You’re going to be in this baby’s life, right?” “Oh, you know it, Maury!” I watched way too much Maury on Friday and I will never forgive myself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched a profile of Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched another episode of this 1930s serial. Our heroes spent the entire episode fleeing gangsters.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights
Check it Out (review will be dropping in 30 minutes)
CHiPs
Fantasy Island
Friday the 13th: The Series
Highway to Heaven
In The Lion’s Den
The Love Boat
Miami Vice
Monsters
T and T
Welcome Back, Kotter

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.21 “All In A Day’s Work”

Posted on February 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A lot of talented people came together to create this week’s episode of Monsters!

Episode 1.21 “All In A Day’s Work”

(Dir by Allen Coulter, originally aired on May 6th, 1989)

Steven Rose (James Morrison) is a graduate student whose studies of ancient magic have accidentally summoned a creature who looks exactly like him and who also follows him everywhere that he goes. Following the advice of a friend, Steven seeks help from a white witch named Fiona (Adrienne Barbeau). Fiona is willing to help but first, she needs to pick up her son, Ian (Brandon Bluhm), from school.

When she returns to her apartment building with Ian, she discovers that the doppelganger is waiting in the hallway and apparently, it wants Ian’s soul. Locking herself in her apartment with Steven and Ian, Fiona is forced to do the unthinkable. She commits a mortal sin by summoning a demon named Belphamelech (Eddie Velez). As she explains it to Steven, if she can get rid of his doppelganger than she will be forgiven for summoning a demon. And if she can’t get rid of the doppelganger, it won’t matter what happens.

There were a lot of talented people involved with this episode. Adrienne Barbeau, of course, is still well-remembered for her appearances in The Fog, Escape From New York, and Creepshow. Nearly two decades after his appearance here, James Morrison would find fame as Bill Buchanan on 24 and as the prison warden on Twin Peaks: The Return. Eddie Velez is still a regular on television. This was one of the first shows to be directed by Allen Coulter, who go on to direct some of the best episodes of The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire.

Considering all of talent both in front of and behind the camera, it’s not a surprise that this is one of the better episodes of Monsters, an atmospheric and well-acted 21 minutes that nicely mixes horror with humor. The episode works best when it contrasts Fiona’s magic powers with the normal activities of her everyday life. She can get rid of demons and yes, she can cook up a love potion or two and yes, she knows all of the things to say to control a demon. But, in the end, her main concern is making sure that her son gets to and from school without incident and that everyone has a good dinner in the evening.

Interestingly enough, the episode ends in such a way that makes it feel as if it was meant to be a pilot for a television series that would have featured Fiona dealing with the supernatural on a weekly basis. She ends the episode with both a new romance and a new assistant and it’s easy to imagine all of the future adventures that they could have all had together. If this episode was meant to serve as a pilot, it didn’t lead to a series and that’s a shame because it definitely had the potential to be a lot of fun.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/11/24 — 2/17/24

Posted on February 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was another week in which I didn’t watch much television, beyond what I usually review. A lot of that is because I was preoccupied with exercising my ankle (which is doing much better) and Valentine’s Day! And some of it is because I guess modern television just doesn’t interest me that much right now. All the game shows and the self-conscious prestige dramas are just kind of boring.

Anyway, here’s some thought on what I did watch this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I felt that this week’s episode was a clear improvement over the premiere, though the show still seems to be struggling to find its footing in the third season. I liked Gregory as the cool teacher and I enjoyed the return of Tariq but I’m still not a fan of Janine working for the district.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

The action moved to Houston in the episode that I watched on Saturday morning. As usual, I couldn’t really follow the plot but it was fun to watch everything explode. Bubblegum Crisis takes place in 2033 so I guess we’ve got nine years left.

Diocese Of Dallas Catholic Mass (Sunday Afternoon, Channel 27)

For various reasons, I really wanted to go to Mass on Sunday but with my sprained ankle, I really didn’t feel like having to hop all the way down to St. Joseph’s. Fortunately, television to the rescue!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday night. A woman falsely accused her ex-husband of using their child to make pornographic movies. Her husband passed a lie detector test and, as Phil pointed out, the woman’s story was full of inconsistencies and never made any sense. Despite being exposed as being a liar, the woman refused to apologize.

On Saturday, I watched an episode that featured an online gambling addict who, having lost all of his money, was now living in his mother’s basement. “We are staging an intervention,” Dr. Phil said, in that ultra-dramatic way of his.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

This Friday, I watched an episode about famous people who made cameo appearances in 80s music videos.

The Super Bowl (Sunday Night, CBS)

I have to admit that I was really rooting for the 49ers by the end of the game. I always like it when the underdogs win. But still, congratulations to the Chiefs on their victory. As usual, I was mostly watching for the commercials but I got kind of bored with them this year. The one with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon was amusing.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched another installment of this old timey serial on Saturday morning. Our heroes spent most of this episode being pursued by gangsters. Fortunately, they had a vanishing ray! This old 30s serial is a lot of fun.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
Check It Out (Tubi) — Review Dropping In 30 Minutes
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)
Friday the 13th (YouTube)
Highway to Heaven (Freevee)
Lookwell (YouTube)
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
Miami Vice (Tubi)
Monsters (Tubi)
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.20 “The Cocoon”

Posted on February 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Billy Drago learns an important lesson about cheating, greed, and cocoons.

Episode 1.20 “The Cocoon”

(Dir by John Gray, originally aired on April 29th, 1989)

A woman (Kim Ulrich) is involved in a serious traffic accident, one that should have killed her. Instead, she survives the accident with hardly a scratch but also without her memory (or so she claims). A greedy police detective named Richard (Billy Drago) is called in when it is discovered that the woman has a good deal of money but no identification on her. When the woman says that she knows that she’s wealthy, Richard becomes very interested in helping her regain her memory.

Richard’s girlfriend, Sarah (Silvana Gallardo), is a psychic. Richard brings her to see the woman, hoping that Sarah will have a vision. When she handles the woman’s comb, Sarah has a vision of the woman in the 1920s, seducing a man who has been missing for over 60 years. But the woman appears to be in her 20s in both the present and in Sarah’s vision. Richard suggests that Sarah might be seeing the woman’s grandmother.

Of course, the truth is a bit more complex. The woman has been alive for centuries, surviving by wrapping her lovers in a cocoon and then feasting off their life force. The woman is hoping to make Richard her next lover and Richard, being a bit of a sleazeball, is prepared to go along with it. However, Sarah has a few tricks of her own….

This was an interesting and ambitious episode, one that attempted to tell a very complex story in just 21 minutes and on a very limited budget. Unfortunately, the show didn’t really have the resources to do this particular story justice but it’s still hard not to admire the imagination involved. Throughout the episode there are moments that work really well, like a sequence where Sarah has a vision of all of the different costumes that the woman has worn through the centuries. The episode also ends with an entertaining little twist. It’s effective, even if the scenes involving the actual spinning of the cocoon fall victim to the show’s low budget.

Billy Drago was a veteran screen bad guy, one who almost always cast as an evil henchman. (In Brian De Palma’s The Untouchables, Kevin Costner memorably threw him off of a roof.) This episode gives Drago a rare leading role, though Richard is just as amoral and sleazy as the characters for which Drago was best known. Drago does a good job in the lead, playing Richard as being a not particularly smart guy who is undone by his own cockiness. If nothing else, it’s impossible not to enjoy seeing him get his comeuppance.

Next week on Monsters …. Adrienne Barbeau dabbles in the magical arts!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/4/24 — 2/10/24

Posted on February 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You would think that, being stuck on the couch with an injured ankle, I would have watched a lot of television this week. I didn’t. Instead, I barely turned on the TV. Instead, I spent most of my time listening to music and wondering if this year is going to continue in a sucky direction or if its going to redeem itself.

Here’s a few thoughts on what little I did watch:

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Abbott Elementary, the most acclaimed sitcom on network TV, started its 3rd season this week with a special hour-long episode in which Janine left her teaching job and took a job with the school district. Meanwhile, her relationship with Gregory continued to be awkward, Barbara continued to be the voice of wisdom, Ava briefly tried to be a good principle before returning to her old ways, and Melissa broke up with her latest boyfriend. And, of course, Career Day was a disaster.

The premiere had its amusing moments but …. I don’t know. Something felt a bit off to me. I’m not really sure I like the idea of Janine working for the school district. It seems like one of those storylines that is just going to be dragged out for way too long and, even worse, it feels like it was mostly included so the show could find another excuse to keep Janine and Gregory from getting together. Gregory’s social awkwardness, which was so likable during the previous two seasons, is starting to feel a bit old now. You’ve been at the school for three years, dude! YOU CAN SMILE! On the plus side, quarterback Jalen Hurts was good playing himself. (“My boundaries are extremely porous.’) We’ll see how things go with the rest of the season. I have faith in Abbott.

Check it Out (Tubi)

I re-watched last week’s episode Check It Out! earlier today. My review should be dropping soon.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

It was a good episode this week. Nolan Price got his conviction but at the cost of giving immunity to one of the sleaziest characters to ever appear on the show. That led to another recriminating glare from Maroun. As for the cops are concerned, I’m liking the laid-back vibe that Reid Scott is bringing to his role. Until this season started, I never realized how nervous I would get whenever I had to watch any scene featuring Jeffrey Donavon as the ultra-intense Cosgrove. With Reid Scott, I feel like I can actually breathe.

Snub (Night Flight Plus)

This was a BBC music show from the 80s, featuring independent British bands. I watched an episode on Friday night, featuring a bunch of British rappers. It was okay. For the most part, I liked the no-nonsense, no apologies attitude of the hosts. They were British, working class, and proud of it.

Watched and reviewed elsewhere:

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.19 “Rain Dance”

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a rather predictable story is saved and elevated by one truly impressive monster!

Episode 1.19 “Rain Dance”

(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on April 22nd, 1989)

Tonight’s episode of Monsters deals with a couple living in a shack in the middle of the desert. Tom Solo (Kent McCord) is a self-styled treasure hunter who thinks that he can get rich by swindling the indigenous people out of their valuable artifacts. His wife, Vanessa (Teri Copley), is sick of living in the desert and just wants to return to civilization. Vanessa is extremely vain. Tom is extremely smug. It’s easy to imagine how they got together but it’s bit more difficult to understand why they’re still together.

When an angry old woman (Betty Carvalho) shows up at the shack, she spends a few minutes yelling at Tom for trying to take advantage of her people and then complains about the drought that is destroying their land. She says that her people found and tamed the land and that some day, the land will again belong to them. She also gives Tom an artifact, a statue of what Tom assumes he’ll be able to get a few bucks for. Myself, I would probably turn down the statue because it is seriously creepy.

Yikes!

Of course, it turns out that Tom is wrong about having any chance of making money of the statue. The statue is a rain idol, one that comes to life in the middle of the night to stalk both Tom and his wife. When confronted by the statue, both Vanessa and Tom are transformed into statues that crumble into dust. The next morning, the old woman comes by to retrieve her idol and happily says that the rains will now come to wash away the dusty particles that were once the Solos.

Again, yikes!

Seriously, this was not a particularly complicated episode of Monsters. From the start, it was obvious that Tom and Vanessa were going to pay for their exploitation of the natives and it was also obvious that, since neither one of them had any redeeming qualities, neither would survive the night. And, as soon as the old woman showed up with that statue, it was pretty obvious what the instrument of their doom would be. Vanessa was established early on as being obsessed with keeping her skin from drying out in the desert heat so I wasn’t surprised when she eventually started turning into sand.

It wasn’t surprising but it still worked because the monster was scary!

Seriously!

The end result was an effective morality take about the perils of greed and assuming you’re more clever than you actually are. In many ways, this could have been a particularly macabre episode of The Twilight Zone or Night Gallery. Monsters is at its best when it offers a scary monster and a dark ending and this episode certainly did that.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/28/24 — 2/3/24

Posted on February 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This previous week …. bleh. Let’s just take a look at what I watched.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Eh. I’m pretty lukewarm on the new bachelor. He seems like a nice guy but he’s kind of boring.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out (Tubi)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I reviewed Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!

Football (Sunday)

Did I watched two football games on Sunday? According to my notes, Jeff and I watched two playoff games but I’ll be darned if I can tell you a dang thing about either one of them.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I’m running behind but I’ll have a review of this week’s episode up sometime on Sunday.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old 90s game show on Saturday morning. Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa asked bizarre questions to celebrities. Dweezil was cool but Ahmet was like the hyperactive cousin that no one wants to deal with at the family reunion. Amongst the celebrities were Chuck Woolery, Alexandra Paul, Patton Oswalt, and that “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” ring announcer dude.

Highway to Heaven (Freevee)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Judge Dad dealt with a woman who claimed her Canadian husband only married her for a visa. Judge Dad interrupted the show so he could do a commercial for some sort of special food delivery system. I followed this episode with an episode in which Judge Dad admonished a man for slashing his ex’s tires. Both episodes featured the same disclosure. Judge Dad is not a lawyer and the cases are fiction.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I got caught up with the first three episodes of the new season this week. I am really impressed by Reid Scott, who is this season’s newest cast member. He and Mehcad Brooks are working well together and Brooks, for his part, is no longer quite as stiff as he was the previous season. Sam Waterston, bless him, is obviously not in the best of health and I really hope he retires after this season and enjoys life. So far, Nolan Price appears to have mellowed out, especially when compared to previous two seasons. But what has happened to Maroun? She was finally showing some sparks of having a personality at the end of the previous season but now, she’s back to being a humorless scold who wears too much lipstick.

The first three episodes of the new season were all fairly good. I cringe whenever the blue collar cops on Law & Order start talking like MSNC pundits (and I still laugh whenever I remember last season’s “Did you all see Morning Joe?”). Law & Order will probably never be the beacon of quality that it once was but this season is off to a good start.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed the third season finale here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble. All of the husband were total deadbeats. One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s. I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.

So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)

I wrote about this obscure pilot here!

Square Pegs (YouTube)

This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school. I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times. Trying to fit in is a timeless subject. One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew. BNC FOREVER!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about it here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/21/24 — 1/27/24

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!

Acting Sheriff (YouTube)

I wrote about Acting Sheriff here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

A new season of The Bachelor started this week. After skipping the previous few installments of this franchise, I did watch the first episode of the latest season. The new bachelor is kind of dull but I enjoyed seeing the mansion and all of the clothes. Jesse is kind of a boring host. The Bachelor hasn’t been fun since Chris Harrison was fired for upsetting the online horde.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out may be an hour or two late this week. It’s been a busy day.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which the Cutlers talked to a woman who was accused of cheating on her fiancée with her husband. What? Yes, it was confusing and silly and the fact that the fiancée had a high-pitched, cartoon character voice did not help matters. This was one of those episodes where they brought in the “voice analysist” to determine who was lying. Considering that everyone on the show had a terrible voice, I did not envy the analysist. That said, I also have a hard time understanding how voice analysis can be used in the place of a polygraph. Anyway, no one was cheating according to their voices.

I followed this up with an episode in which a husband accused his wife of cheating because of muddy footprints that he found in his home. The wife was not cheating and the husband was a bit of a paranoid freak.

Later, I watched an episode in which a man felt that his wife was cheating on him because she was no longer wearing sexy underwear around him, despite the fact that he kept finding brand new thongs in the laundry. The lie detector indicated that she was indeed cheating. The wife, at one point, said that she felt like she was “starring in a romantic comedy with Will Smith.”

Then, tonight, I watched an episode in which a woman thought her much older husband was cheating on her with her best friend because she found her friend in their bed. Fortunately, it turned out that the husband was faithful and the best friend was just a blackout drunk.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Extended Family (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I had no interest in watching this show but I was watching Peacock on Wednesday night and I was too lazy to switch to another streaming service when the show automatically started. Jon Cryer plays a divorced father in Boston who is still friends with his ex-wife and her new fiancé. Why is everything always set in Boston? Seriously, who care about freaking Boston?

Anyway, I was so lazy that I ended up watching the first two episodes and they were both pretty dire. The “created by Mike O’Malley” credit card explained why. Cryer, our beloved Duckie, is even more pathetic here than he was as wimpy Alan on Two and a Half Men. (Disclaimer: I think I’ve seen like five episodes of Two and A Half Men, maybe six.) It’s sad to think that NBC has gone from The Office to Night Court/Extended Family.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

I was so happy Ryan won! This was one of Hell’s Kitchen’s best seasons. While Big Brother, Survivor, and even The Amazing Race have struggled to remain relevant in our new, post-COVID age, Hell’s Kitchen succeeds by not messing with what works.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

I watched two episodes of this courtroom show on Monday. The very slow-talking judge heard a case about a woman who wanted another woman to pay for her $900 Prada dress. The second case involved a woman who felt that her ex owed her some sort of compensation for giving her COVID. The second case bothered me because the judge’s ruling didn’t seem to follow any sort of legal precedent. I then noticed a disclaimer that stated that 1) Judge Dad was not a legal expert but just some guy making his own decisions and 2) the litigants were actors and the cases were all fictional.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which a tenant sued her landlord for setting up spy cameras in her apartment and “recording me in my lingerie.” Judge Dad was particularly upset by this case. “I feel like you are my daughter!” he thundered, “You must make better decision about where you live!” The landlord was really, really sleazy and disgusting but again, the whole thing was fictional so …. yeah.

Judge Mom (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched an episode of Judge Dad‘s companion series, Judge Mom. A young comic book artist accused an older artist of stealing his ideas. Judge Mom found in favor of the younger artist. Just as with Judge Dad, the episode ended with a disclaimed that “Judge Mom is not a legal expert” and the case was fictional. The acting on Judge Mom was far less convincing than the acting on Judge Dad.

It was just bad enough that I had to watch a second episode. This one featured a set of parents suing a little league team for “firing” their son from the team. Judge Mom was offended by how petty all of the adults were. Little league is supposed to be about the kids! You tell ’em, Judge Mom!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

It’s weird. This is a badly conceived show that rarely even makes me smile and yet it’s something that I find myself watching on Peacock whenever I’m bored and I don’t have time to watch anything that runs longer than 21 minutes. I don’t know why this is, because I really don’t care much for the show and it’s only gotten worse in its second season. I think the problem is that Abby Stone is way too naive to be a judge and her nonstop enthusiasm can be a bit hard to take. For instance, this week’s episode featured her still trying to get over breaking up with her boyfriend and obsessing over her inability to get a date. That story had comedic potential but seriously, Abby’s a judge. IN NEW YORK CITY! Toughen up!

Paternity Court (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday. Fortunately, the former army officer who had just returned from deployment was the father.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!