Tag Archives: Monsters

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.24 “The Family Man”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, the second season of Monsters reaches its conclusion!

Episode 2.24 “The Family Man”

(Dir by Michael Warren Powell, originally aired on June 3rd, 1990)

Neil (Calvin Armitage) is not happy.  The young son of Angie (Annie Corley), Neil is upset that she is dating a condescending psychologist named Warren (Michael O’Gorman).  Making things even worse is that Neil seems to be the only person who dislikes Warren.  Even Neil’s older sister, Terri (Kelli Rabke), thinks that Warren is a great guy and would be a wonderful stepfather.

Adding to Neil’s problems is his terrible eyesight.  He’s recently gotten new glasses, which he cannot stand.  He would rather wear the glasses that once belonged to his late father.  When Neil puts those old glasses on and looks at Warren, he is shocked to see that Warren is actually a lizard-like alien with sharp teeth.  It doesn’t take long for Warren to figure out that Neil has seen through his human disguise but, as Warren explains it, no one is going to believe Neil.  Instead, Warren is just going to drain the life forces of Angie, Neil, and Terri, killing them as he’s killed so many other humans.

At first, it looks like Warren is correct.  Angie refuses to listen to Neil and she also refuses to put on the glasses.  As for the glasses themselves, they are eventually shattered by Warren.  What can Neil possibly do!?  Luckily, the glasses were not the only thing that Neil’s father left behind….

The second season finale of Monsters owes a great deal to They Live, with the exception being that, instead of seeing how he’s being manipulated by the media, Neil uses his glasses to discovers that his potential stepfather is actually a murderous lizard person.  I think that anyone who has ever watched in horror as their divorced or widowed mother dated a new weirdo will be able to relate to this episode.  I remember, immediately after my parents got divorced, I tended to view almost every guy that my mom talked to as being a potential lizard person.  Eventually, of course, I came to accept that not all strangers were alien beings.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual alien or an actual lizard person.  That’s good luck on my part, I suppose.

As for this episode, the lizard person makeup was effective and Michael O’Gorman certain gave a good performance as the manipulative Warren.  Probably the most disturbing thing about Warren was the he didn’t seem to be particularly worried about Neil discovering his true identity because he knew there was no way anyone was going to believe a word that Neil said.  That said, the episode really was a bit too much of a rip-off to be totally successful.  Still, if you’re going to rip someone off, you might as well rip off the best.

The second season of Monsters ends on an above average note.  The season itself was, overall, uneven.  There was some very good episode and, unfortunately, there were also some very bad ones.  I guess that’s to be expected with anthology shows.

Next week, we’ll begin the third and final season of Monsters!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.23 “The Bargain”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, a woman gets more than she bargained for when she gives it all up for love.

Episode 2.23 “The Bargain”

(Dir by Tom Noonan, originally aired on May 27th, 1990)

Sarah (Kim Greist) is a lonely woman who owns a used bookstore and who is in love with the man who appears to be her only customer, Joe (Kevin Geer).  Joe is a TV repairman and he presents himself as being a typical blue collar guy, except for the fact that he’s always buying books of romantic poetry.  He claims that they’re for a friend.  Sarah recites a French poem for him.  “I don’t speak French,” Joe replies.

Sarah feels that she’s too shy and plain to ever catch Joe’s eye.  But then, while looking through an old magazine, she comes across an advertisement for a mask that will make all of her dreams come true.  On a lark, Sarah calls the number.  Soon, a horribly scarred woman named Carmen (Sharon Sharth) comes to the store.  Carmen gives Sarah a mask but she says that there’s a price.  First off, by putting on the mask, Sarah will be agreeing to give up all of her books to Carmen.  Secondly, Sarah must never remove the mask.  Sarah agrees.

The mask does make Sarah beautiful.  Now going by the name of Mandy, she turns her empty bookstore into a video store.  When Joe comes in, Mandy flirts with him but it turns out that Joe is angry about the bookstore going away and also, he was in love with Sarah.  Mandy protests that she is Sarah, just for Carmen to show up with Sarah’s old face.  Carmen has assumed Sarah’s identity and Joe is now in love with her.  Desperate to prove her actual identity, the real Sarah rips off her mask, leaving her face just as disfigured as Carmen’s used to be.

As Sarah cries, Carmen tells her that the only she can ever fix her face is by selling the mask to someone else….

Featuring three strong performances and a storyline that’s a bit more nuanced than usual for this show, this is a pretty good episode of Monsters.  Interestingly enough, it was directed by actor Tom Noonan, who has played a number of villains over the course of his career, including the memorable killer from Manhunter, in which he co-starred with Kim Greist.  (Kevin Geer actually looks enough like Noonan that, at first, I thought Tom Noonan was pulling double duty as both director and star.)  Noonan directs the episode like a particularly fast-paced play, emphasizing character and location over easy shocks.  Not only do the characters seem real but so does Sarah’s beloved bookstore.  The twist at the end is effective, even if it is a bit predictable.

Next week, we finish up season 2 of Monsters!

 

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/10/24 — 11/16/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I got caught up with a few shows this week.  Here’s my thoughts on what I watched.

Accused (Tuesday Night, Fox)

I watched the three most recent episodes of Accused this week.  The road rage episode had its good moments and it kept my guessing, though I would have appreciated a bit more of a twist at the end.  The episode with Nick Cannon was so bad that it felt like a parody of woke programming.  (It’s kind of funny how everyone apparently just agreed to forget about Cannon’s history of making anti-Semitic statements.)  The episode with Michael Chiklis as the wrestling coach was much better, though I kept expecting the coach to reveal that he was actually the wrestler’s father.  That would have been a neat twist.

Accused is an uneven show but it’s pretty interesting when it works.  And when it doesn’t work, it’s interesting in an entirely different way.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (Tuesday Night, FX)

As I’ve said before, this miniseries started out strong but, as so often happens with these Ryan Murphy-produced true crime things, it went downhill quickly.  The final episode was perhaps the worst of the series, if just because it tried to turn Hernandez into some sort of victim.  I have no doubt CTE played some role in his actions but so what?  In the end, at least one man is dead because of Aaron Hernandez.  Ask Odin Lloyd’s family if they care about Aaron Hernandez’s struggle to adjust to living in prison.  I don’t care if he felt uncomfortable with his sexuality.  I don’t care if he was put under tremendous pressure by his coaches.  I don’t care if he was molested when he was a child.  Aaron Hernandez made his decisions and he suffered the consequences and the last thing he deserves is sympathy.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I reviewed Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out! will be posting shortly.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I reviewed CHiPs here.  I had a bit of panic when I read the Freevee was shutting down, as I’ve still got many episodes of CHiPs to review and watch.  I’ve been told, however, the shows on Freevee will also be “free” on Prime.  We’ll see!  I’m nor sure that I would want to pay money just for the chance to watch Erik Estrada.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my latest review of Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

My heart broke for Anthony this week!  I took some comfort that Chef Ramsay seemed to be just as said as I was to watch Anthony go.  I was glad Anthony was allowed to keep his jacket.

Highway to Heaven (Hulu)

I reviewed Highway to Heaven here!

Inmate To Roommate (Hulu)

Earlier this year, I enjoyed what I saw of the second season of this A&E show.  (When my Dad had his accident, I stopped watching Inmate to Roommate because taking care of my Dad took priority over any television show.)  This week, I decided to watch the first season of the show on Hulu.  The first season felt a bit more staged than the second season.  If the second season had a raw authenticity to it, the first season was marred by too many scenes that were obviously just done for the cameras.  Still, I appreciate any show that encourages people to give ex-convicts a chance to prove themselves.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson (Netflix)

I watched a little of this with Jeff on Friday night.  I was pretty bored with it but at least it was filmed in Texas.  That said, due to my obligations as the hostess of #FridayNightFlix, I stopped watching before either Jake or Tyson left their dressing rooms.  Jeff wrote about the fight here and here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed The Love Boat here1

Malibu CA (YouTube)

For my sins, I reviewed Malibu, CA here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I reviewed Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I reviewed Monsters here!

Rockin’ Ronny (Night Flight Plus)

This special originally aired in 1986.  It featured a collection of clips from Ronald Reagan’s movies, mixed in with footage of him as president.  Obviously, the show was meant to poke fun at and be critical of Reagan but it didn’t really work.  Rather than coming across as being any of the bad things that this special seemed to be trying to suggest that he was, Ronald Reagan just came across as being a likable old man.  Certainly, he seemed more presidential than any of the folks we’ve recently elected here.

Say Nothing (Hulu)

I am about halfway through this new miniseries about The Troubles in Northern Ireland.  So far, it’s been a powerful few hours.  I’ll share more of my thoughts after I’ve watched the remaining episodes.

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

I can’t believe I’m paying money for this show.  You can read my latest review here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.22 “The Gift”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist star as two criminals who discover that they have an unexpected visitor in the basement of their cabin.

Episode 2.22 “The Gift”

(Dir by Jeffrey Wolf, originally aired on May 20th, 1990)

Two low-life criminals, Sid (Abe Vigoda) and his protege, Kirby (Brad Greenquist), show up at a cabin in the mountains.  They have a rich kid named Jeffrey (Zach Overton) with them.  They’ve kidnapped Jeffrey from his exclusive private school and they are planning to hold him until they get paid several million dollars.

Wanting to keep the kid comfortable, Sid tells Kirby to look in the basement for blankets.  Kirby doesn’t find any blankets but he does a find a mysterious wolfman.  Kirby shoots the wolfman twice but the wolfman survives.  Kirby then chains up both Jeffrey and the Wolfman in the basement.  Kirby thinks that it might be a good idea to forget about the whole kidnapping scheme but Sid is determined to get the money.

In the basement, Jeffrey discovers that the Wolfman can communicate with him through telepathy.  The Wolfman introduces himself as being William (physically played by Carlos Lauchu, with a voice provided by John Michael Bolger).  William explains that he’s not a monster.  Instead, he’s just a man who, centuries ago, was granted magical abilities by an old traveler.  Now, William is over 200 years old.  He’s nearly immortal but he’s also lonely.  Jeffrey is the first person who has been willing to listen to William in a long time.

Jeffrey and William bonding in the basement is undeniably sweet but Sid and Kirby are still holding Jeffrey hostage and, as time passes, it becomes obvious that they’re planning on killing both Jeffrey and his new friend.  William explains that there is a way that he can ensure that Jeffrey will survive and that he’ll be able to defeat both Sid and Kirby.  But it will involve Jeffrey making a huge sacrifice of his own….

This episode was fairly dull.  When it started, I was hoping that the show would at least do a Ransom of Red Chief sort of thing and have Jeffrey turn out to be such a brat that absolutely no one would be willing to pay a cent to get him back.  I think that would have been more interesting than what we ended up with, an episode in which Jeffrey awkwardly bonded with a werewolf who could only communicate through telepathy because moving his mouth probably would have made the actor’s mask look even cheaper than it already did.  Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist were well-cast as the two criminals.  Vigoda, in particular, did a good job of portraying Sid’s outwardly calm but still ruthless demeanor.  Otherwise, this was a fairly dull episode that didn’t really do much with its potentially intriguing premise.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/3/24 — 11/9/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2024 U.S. Presidential Election Coverage (Tuesday and Wednesday)

On Tuesday, I swore to myself that I was going to vote and then we were going to go up to the lake and my plan was to basically stay off the grid until Friday.  I wasn’t even going to think about the election.  That did not last.  As much as I tried to avoid the news, I still saw a few updates on twitter and soon, I was switching back and forth from Fox to CNN to MSNBC and then to all the other news stations.

To be honest, I kind of suspected Donald Trump was going to win after Kamala Harris picked Tim Walz for her vice president.  The week leading up the election, however, I started to think that Harris was probably going to win.  I started remembering how 2022 seemed like it was going to be  a big year for Republicans, just for the Red Wave to fizzle on election night.  I thought about how polls have never accurately reflected either Trump’s support or how Dobbs turned a lot of people into one-issue voters.  I thought Harris would sweep Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin and win the election.  It turns out that I was wrong about most of that!

This was the third presidential election in a row where I swore to myself that I wouldn’t think about it after I voted, just to later find myself then obsessively watching as the results came in.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (FX, Tuesday Night)

The ninth episode focused on how the women who knew Aaron Hernandez dealt with him being arrest for murder.  And to that, I can only say, “Who cares?”  After nine hours of this show, the only lesson that I’ve learned is that Aaron Hernandez was a tremendous dumbass and the same can be said of the majority of the people around him.

I was super-excited because I thought this week’s episode was the series’ finale.  It turns out that there’s one more episode to go.  Next week, this show will finally wrap up and I won’t have to complain about it anymore.

Bar Rescue (Paramount, Weekday Mornings)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer turned a failing Irish bar into a failing western saloon.  It wasn’t as much fun as the Pirate Bar episode.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode of Check It Out! will be posted in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (YouTube)

On Tuesday, I took a break from the election coverage and rewatched my two favorite episodes of Dragnet, the talk show episode and the night school episode.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Good Times (Get TV, Weekday Afternoons)

I watched two episodes of this 70s sitcom on Monday afternoon.  Carl, a grumpy old man, discovered that he had cancer and he left Chicago for Arizona so that he could deal with it.  The most memorable moment of the two episodes came when Carl told Florida that he felt they should break up.  “Oh my God!” someone in the studio audience shouted.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

Just as happened last week, the Blue Team triumphed and the Red Team crashed and burned.  I’m enjoying this season.  I like the fact that they’re all strong chefs.  At this point, I feel like anyone could win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

I wrote about Homicide here!

King of the Hill (FXX, Weekday Morning)

Before I left to vote on Tuesday, I watched four episodes of King of the Hill.  What a great show, that was.  To be honest, the fact that King of the Hill was canceled but Family Guy is still in production is all the evidence you need about the decline of American culture.  As for the episodes I watched, my favorite was the one where Luanne became a boxer and George Foreman appeared as himself.  “Novelty grill!?”

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I watched The Love Boat on Tuesday night, while sitting outside on the deck of my family’s lakehouse.  That’s the best way to watch anything!  I wrote about The Love Boat here.

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I wrote about Malibu, CA here!

The Megyn Kelly Show (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched the post-election episode of the Megyn Kelly Show.  Whether you love her, hate her, or if you’re indifferent to her (as I often am), it was hard not to agree with her post-mortem on the election and the Harris campaign.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode of this old 80s music video program on Friday night.  The music was good.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I can’t believe I paid money to watch this episode.  You can read my review here.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.21 “Refugee”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters takes a turn into le Carré  territory.

Episode 2.21 “Refugee”

(Dir by Scott Vickrey, originally aired on Mary 13th, 1990)

Paul (Peter White) is an agent of the CIA.  He lives in a run-down apartment, hiding himself from the world and apparently wracked with guilt and regret over some of the things that he did for his country.  In the style of many a John le Carré protagonist, he served his country and has been left thoroughly disillusioned as a result.  His former superior, Oliver (Philip Abbott), comes to Paul with a proposal.  There’s a Russian scientist who is looking to defect.  She has apparently spent years trying to escape from Russia.  If Paul helps her cross the border and stays with her in a safehouse until the CIA can come and get her, Oliver will never ask Paul to do another thing.  Paul’s service as a spy will be terminated.

A reluctant Paul agrees and he is indeed able to get Anna Solenska (Judy Geeson) across the border and into a safehouse.  However, Paul realizes that two men have followed them and now want to enter the safehouse themselves.  Paul assumes that they work for the KGB but actually, they’re agents of Satan!  Apparently, Anna agreed to sell her soul in return for Satan helping her to escape Russia.  And now, Satan has sent his people to collect….

Seriously, if you’ve ever wondered what it was like to live under a communist regime, just consider that someone was willing to sell their soul to escape!  That’s one reason why I’m proud to be an American and to be a capitalist.  No matter what problems we may have in this country, no one is selling their soul to escape.  No one is summoning Satan and saying, “Hey, help me get to Cuba!”  Capitalism for the win!

As for this episode, I liked the idea behind it.  I liked the concept of mixing spy melodrama with supernatural horror.  Peter White actually gave a pretty good performance as the burned-out spy and I enjoyed the opening conversation between him and his former superior.  But once the episode move to the safehouse, the action started to drag.  Monsters is only a 21-minute show so there’s no reason why an episode should have had me checking how much running time was left as often as this one did.  British actress Judy Geeson did a good enough job playing Anna’s desperation but her Russian accent was bad enough that it actually distracted from the story.  Finally, Satan’s agents were never as scary as servants of the devil should be.  This show’s saving grace has usually been its monsters but, in this episode, they were just men with red skin and glowing fingertips.

Sad to say, despite an intriguing premise, this episode was just kind of boring.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.20 “Micro Minds”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

In this episode, a new lifeform is discovered.

Episode 2.20 “Micro Minds”

(Dir by Anthony Santa Croce, originally aired on March 4, 1990)

In a college science lab, astronomy student Paula (Belle Avery) is convinced that her personal computer is  picking up communications being sent to her from an extra-terrestrial civilization.  When Dr. Thomas Becker (Troy Donahue) comes by the lab to find out why Paula hasn’t been coming to class, he is at first dismissive of her theory.  But then he hears the voice of Grok (David Parmenter) coming through the computer and he realizes the truth of what has happened.

Paula has made contact with another lifeform.

But it’s not an lifeform from another planet.  Instead, it’s a microscopic protozoa that has evolved in the laboratory’s cooling tank.  Grok can speak but it doesn’t know much about the world outside of the tank.  When Becker shines a light over the tank, Grok thinks that Becker is God.  Becker, to Paula’s alarm, rather likes the idea of being God.

Soon, Becker is pouring salt and sugar into the cooling tank, all in an attempt to speed up Grok’s evolution.  Paula thinks that Becker is moving too quickly.  Eventually, a giant version of Grok (imagine a slimy version of the killer carpet from The Creeping Terror) materializes in the lab and attacks Paula.  Paula destroys it and Becker, realizing the Paula also means to destroy the rest of Grok, responds by killing her.  Becker, thinking that he has saved Grok, does not realize that Grok is planning on using him to destroy the human race.

I had a bit of a hard time following the plot of this episode, as you may have guessed from the somewhat jumbled synopsis above.  This episode of Monsters is an homage to the B-science fiction films of the 50s and 60s and, as such, there’s a lot of technobabble which doesn’t make much sense but which is there so the viewer can at least pretend like the story is rooted in some sort of reality.  In this case, the incoherence is the point.

The casting of former teen idol Troy Donahue as the professor is another call back to the 50s.  After Donahue’s star faded, he appeared in his share of low-budget horror and sci-fi films.  Donahue gives a good performance here, doing a nice job of portraying Dr. Becker’s growing megalomania.  (That said, whenever anyone referred to him as “Becker,” I was reminded of that terrible Ted Danson show where he played the doctor who was always pissed off whenever he got off the subway.)

As for the episode’s monster, it looked awful and fake but again, one gets the feeling that was deliberate.  To be honest, it didn’t look any worse than some of the monsters that showed up in Roger Corman’s alien invasion films.

This was an okay episode.  Even if I couldn’t always follow the plot, the story held my attention.  It was a well-done homage to cheap sci-fi, even if it never was quite as much fun as Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.19 “Far Below”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, there’s something in subways!

Episode 2.19 “Far Below”

(Dir by Debra Hill, originally aired on February 25th, 1990)

Alex Kritz (John Scott Clough) is a city bureaucrat who has been sent to do an audit and discover why one subway maintenance crew is getting paid so much despite the high rate of turnover on the crew.  The head of the crew, Dr. Vernon Rathmore (Barry Nelson), not only overpays his workers but he also offers them full insurance and a pension.  Kritz not only wants to understand why Dr. Rathmore is spending so much money but also how he has been able to get away with it for so long.

Dr. Rathmore invites Kritz to watch a monitor so he can observe two of his workers gunning down what appears to be a Yeti with glowing white fur.  Kritz is outraged, accusing Rathmore of killing a homeless man.  Rathmore explains that his section of the subway is full of prehistoric, ape-liked monsters who feast on human flesh.  Rathmore has taken it upon himself to keep the population under control.

When Kritz again accuses Rathmore of genocide, Rathmore reveals that he actually has two of the monsters locked away in the office.  And one of them is his wife!  It turns out that she has quite the appetite for nosey bureaucrats….

This was a simple but entertaining episode of Monsters, one that was well-acted by Nelson and Clough and which made great use of two sets, Rathmore’s office and the atmospheric and dark subway tunnels where Rathmore’s men work.  The escalating tension between Rathmore and Kritz was well-handled, with Rathmore growing more and more annoyed with Kritz’s questions.  Based on all of the urban legends that have sprung up over the years about monsters living in the subways and the sewers (check out Raw Meat for another example), this was an effective episode that managed to tell a complete and interesting story in only 20 minutes.  Monsters was a frequently uneven show, as is true of most anthology series.  Fortunately, for every couple of bad episodes that the viewer got, the viewer would also occasionally get a masterpiece like Far Below.

Far Below was directed by Debra Hill, who is probably best-known for co-producing several of John Carpenter’s early films, including the original Halloween. This episode was Hill’s directorial debut and it was one of only two things she directed.  (The other was an episode of a 90s sitcom called Dream On.)  She did an excellent job with this episode and it’s a shame that she didn’t direct more.

Finally, this was the final performance of actor Barry Nelson.  Nelson was the first actor to ever play James Bond, playing an Americanized version of the character in a 1950s television adaptation of Casino Royale.  (Nelson technically played “Jimmy Bond.”)  Modern horror fans know Nelson best for his wonderful performance as the blandly professional Mr. Ullman in The Shining.  The scene where Nelson (as Ullman) cheerfully talks about what happened to the last caretaker and his family is one of my favorite bits of acting of all time.  Nelson retired after this episode of Monsters and it’s nice to able to say that he went out on a high note.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.18 “The Offering”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week features the most fearsome monster yet.

Episode 2.18 “The Offering”

(Dir by Ernest Farino, originally aired on February 18th, 1990)

After a serious auto accident, Lewis (Robert Krantz) wakes up in a hospital with a bandage wrapped around his head.  Dr. Hubbard (Orson Bean) tells Lewis that he’s suffered a concussion and must rest.  All Lewis wants to know is whether or not his mother’s surgery went okay.  Dr. Hubbard sighs and says that they were not able to get all of the cancer.

Lewis’s comatose mother is a patient at the same hospital and, when Lewis sneaks into her room to visit with her, he’s shocked to discover that he can see a giant insect-like creature that is hovering over the bed and producing slugs that are burrowing under his mother’s skin.  Lewis sees the same thing when he looks at other cancer patients but Dr. Hubbard insists that Lewis is only having hallucinations.

In order to try to help Lewis come to terms with both his accident and his mother’s cancer, Dr. Hubbard allows Lewis to watch as a patient undergoes radiation treatment.  Lewis is the only one who can see that the slugs are drawn to the radiation and will leave a patient’s body to find the source of it.  Still unable to convince Hubbard that what he’s seeing is real, Lewis sneaks out his room, steals a radioactive isotope, and prepares to make the ultimate sacrifice to save his mother.

The Offering is a return to form for Monsters.  Full of atmosphere and featuring a genuinely disturbing set of monsters, this is an effective and well-acted episode that works because it captures the helplessness that everyone will feels when a family member or loved one is seriously ill.  I lost my mother to cancer and my father to Parkinson’s, two diseases that are still not as understood as they should be.  Like Lewis, I spent a lot of time wishing that I could somehow just see and understand what was causing their illnesses so that I could know how to save them.  Cancer and Parkinson’s and dementia are all monsters that we wish we could just squash under our heel as easily as we could a bug.

In the end, Lewis eats a glowing radioactive isotope so that all of the cancer slugs will be drawn to his body.  Couldn’t he have just used the isotope to lead the slugs out into the middle of the street or something?  Lewis offers up his own life to save his mother.  It reminds me of the old Norm McDonald joke, that dying of cancer is the equivalent of beating cancer because the cancer dies with you.  That’s a good way to look at it.  Cancer never wins.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.17 “One Wolf’s Family”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Jerry Stiller is a werewolf!

Episode 2.17 “One Wolf’s Family”

(Dir by Alex Zamm, originally aired on February 11th, 1990)

In this rather heavy-handed episode of Monsters, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara star as Victor and Greta, two immigrants who have built a successful life for themselves in America.  Victor is very proud of his heritage and his success.  He’s even more proud of the fact that he and Greta are pure-bred werewolves.  He expects his daughter, Anya (Amy Stiller), to marry a purebred werewolf.

(Ben was apparently busy when they shot this episode.)

So, how will Victor react when he discovers that Amy’s fiancé, Stanley (Robert Clohessy), is a were-hyena!?

*sigh*

Okay, I will give some credit here.  The scene where Victor meets Stanley and they all gather around the kitchen table for dinner does have some funny moments.  Stanley, being a hyena in human form, cannot stop laughing, even when he’s being insulted.  And when Jerry Stiller launches into a rant about how no daughter of his is going to hang out on the roadside and eat trash, I did laugh.  This was largely due to Jerry Stiller’s delivery of the line.  Jerry Stiller was always funny whenever he started to rant.

Otherwise, this episode was pretty disappointing.  There’s a subplot about a nosey neighbor named Agnes (Karen Shallo).  Agnes is upset to discover that her neighbors are werewolves that keep dead bodies in their refrigerator so that they’ll have something to snack on.  “It’s bad enough that they’re immigrants!” Agnes says.  And yes, I get it.  Agnes is supposed to be a small-minded suburbanite who doesn’t understand that America is a country of immigrants and all the rest.  The problem is that, regardless of how Agnes feels about immigrants, she has every right to be concerned about living next door to a werewolf who keeps a dead body in his refrigerator.  When she sees Victor eating a foot, it totally makes sense that she would be upset about it.  The show’s satire would have worked if Agnes’s sole objection to them had been that they were immigrants.  (It would have been even funnier if Agnes has absolutely no problem living next door to werewolves as long as they were born in America.)  But by making them werewolves and having Agnes be upset by the fact that they were werewolves, the show instead suggests that Agnes might have a point.

Not that it matters.  Stanley turns into a hyena and rips off Agnes’s head and brings it to Victor and Greta as a gift.  Stanley is accepted into the family while Jerry Stiller howls a the moon.

Political satire is always hit-and-miss and this episode was definitely a mess.  It’s a shame because Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara were definitely funny people.  (If you’ve ever seen the documentary Have A Good Trip, there’s a scene where Ben Stiller tells a story about accidentally taking several tabs of LSD in college and, in a panic, calling his father for help.  “I know what you’re going through,” Jerry told him, “I once smoked an entire Pall Mall cigarette.”  “My father was Jerry Stiller, not Jerry Rubin,” Ben explains.)  This is one of those episodes that I was really hoping would be good but it just didn’t work.