Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.7 “Small Blessing”

Posted on January 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, comedians Julie Brown, Kevin Nealon, and David Spade deal with a baby who was born with a lot of very sharp teeth. Is it a demon or is it just a little blessing? Let’s find out.

Episode 3.7 “Small Blessing”

(Dir by Roger Nygard, originally aired on November 11th, 1990)

Julie Brown plays the mother of a three-month old baby and, like a lot of new mothers, she is exhausted. The baby is constantly doing things like crying, crawling out of its crib, and walking on the ceiling. The baby was also born with over 30 razor sharp teeth and it likes to eat meat. (I’m going to assume Julie bottle-feeds.) Julie’s husband (Kevin Nealon) insists that there is nothing wrong with their baby and he gets angry at his wife for constantly being exhausted. Julie doesn’t know how much longer she can stand being around her carnivorous baby. When a serial killer (David Spade) shows up at the house, the baby proves its worth. Julie’s husband comes home to find her holding the baby and talking about how much she loves him. Awwwww!

This episode was goofy but enjoyable. It started out as a story about the exhaustion that every mother has felt and then it becomes a comedy in which Julie Brown is the only person who seems to notice that there is anything strange about her baby. While her husband makes excuses for all of the baby’s odd behavior, Julie knows that it’s not normal for a baby to devour raw meat, climb on a ceiling, and bust its way out of its crib. But then David Spade shows up with a big knife and the baby proves itself. Go, Baby!

The main problem is that the baby looked really bad. It wasn’t a real baby, of course. It was obviously a puppet and, when I say obviously, I mean it was so clearly a fake baby that it actually worked against the show’s effectiveness. There was a lot of good things about this episode, including the performances of Julie Brown, Kevin Nealon, and David Spade. But that fake baby was just too fake to be as effective as it could have been.

Still, this episode proves that even mutant babies deserve love.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/19/25 — 1/25/25

Posted on January 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are just a few (admittedly, very few) thoughts on what I watched this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Unlike the characters in Abbott Elementary, I’m not a fan of the American Labor Movement but I still enjoyed this week’s episode about a bus strike. The remote learning stuff was definitely the highlight of the episodes.

Dark (Netflix)

Case and I are continuing to watch this German show on Netflix. It’s a very intriguing saga of time travel and murder.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

Without Brandon in the competition, who cares? It seems kind of obvious that Egypt’s going to win.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Chef Ramsay saved another restaurant in New Orleans. That’s good and all but I still wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares. Once a mess, always a mess. At least, that’s the way that I view things as far as food preparation is concerned.

The Oscar Nominations (Thursday Morning, Hulu)

The nominations didn’t do much for me this year. Honestly, I have to wonder how long it’s going to be until ABC dumps the Oscars and the ceremony is reduced to just streaming on Hulu. It’s going to happen sooner or later.

The Presidential Inauguration (Monday, C-Span)

I’m thankful for C-Span. I was able to watch the whole thing without any commentary for either side.

I also watched and reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.5 “Outpost”

Posted on January 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have a cold and a slight fever so tonight’s review is going to be a short one.

Episode 3.5 “Outpost”

(Dir by T.K. Hudson, originally aired on October 28th. 1990)

In the far future, a space mining company is transforming terminally ill people into cyborg mutants and sending them to work on inhospitable planets in return for keeping them alive. Cara (Juliet Mills), a representative of the company, is sent to one of the outposts to discover why the horribly disfigured Sebastian (Tony Fields) is no longer doing his job.

Separated by a layer of glass, Sebastian and Cara have a 19-minute conversation. Cara is rude and condescending and makes it clear that she has zero concern for the well-being of Sebastian. This is perhaps as bitchy as the world will ever see a Mills sister act, which is really saying something when you consider some of the Saved By The Bell episodes in which Hayley Mills played Miss Bliss. Sebastian has been hearing voices and is tempted to just wander across the alien landscape until he dies. Why should he spent the rest of eternity miserable and alone.

Cara gets annoyed. She says that work is important. Why, when her husband was ill and dying, she didn’t even bother to take off from her job to visit him. He died while she was away or, at least, that’s what the company told her….

Can you see where this is going?

This episode benefitted from the performances of Juliet Mills and Tony Fields but the story was extremely predictable. The dialogue was definitely a bit more intelligent than we’ve seen in previous episodes of Monsters and I respected the episode’s ambition but, in the end, the story dragged a bit and the big twist was easily guessed. This was not a terrible episode but it wasn’t particularly memorable either.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/5/25 — 1/11/25

Posted on January 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week as I waited for the snow to arrive.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

The idea of the dark and cynical It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossing over with the earnest Abbott Elementary sounds like something that shouldn’t work but, instead, it worked brilliantly. Dee becoming Janine’s best friend and then trying to steal away Gregory was brilliant. I was so proud of Charlie, learning how to read at a kindergarten level. Barbara is a wonderful teacher.

Check It Out (Tubi)

Look for my review later tonight.

Dark (Netflix)

As the snow fell in Texas, Case and I watched two more episodes of Dark. We’ll have to get around to reviewing this intriguing German show soon.

Degrassi High (Tubi)

Look for my review tomorrow!

Doc (Tuesday Night, Fox)

This is a new show about a doctor who has amnesia. I feel like this show is going to be limited by the fact that she’s going to have to get her memory back at some point. I watched the premiere but I don’t remember much about it. Maybe I’ve got amnesia!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Going Dutch (Thursday Night, Fox)

The second episode of Going Dutch, much like the pilot, didn’t do much for me. I doubt I’ll be watching the third episode.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

It’s black jacket time! I felt sorry for Amanda, who I would have kept over the eternally aggrieved Whit. That said, it’s pretty obvious that Brandon’s going to win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

You can read my review here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Kitchen Nightmares has returned for another season. Chef Ramsay is in New Orleans, helping terrible restaurants prepare for the Super Bowl. This week featured part one of the two-part season premiere. I think that the restaurant that Ramsay is trying to help is a lost cause but we’ll see what happens next week. Nothing kills my appetite quicker than a cockroach-filled episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

You can read my review here!

Monsters (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

I started reviewing Pacific Blue this week. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this decision.

Shifting Gears (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Tim Allen will always be Buzz Lightyear to me and I like Kat Dennings but the first episode of their new sitcom didn’t do much for me. They really should just call it Last Auto Mechanic Standing.

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, Fox)

A bunch of middle-aged celebs are put through special forces training and are ridiculed when they drop out. Telling 50-somethings Stephen Baldwin and Denise Richards that they failed themselves by not completing the training feels a bit silly. Baldwin dropped out because he didn’t want to get hurt because it would cost him an acting job he had lined up. (As far as I can tell, that’s a totally understandable concern.) Richards was accused of being a princess because she didn’t want to drown. Unless the goal is to actually put together a unit of out-of-shape commandos, how about giving it a rest with the whole, “The Corp doesn’t want quitters!” routine?

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

You can read my review here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.4 “Cellmates”

Posted on January 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s Rex Manning Day on Monsters!

Episode 3.4 “Cellmates”

(Dir by Stephen Tolkin, originally aired on October 21st, 1990)

Timothy Danforth (Maxwell Caulfield) is a rich American kid who has gotten in trouble while visiting Mexico. He was arrested after hitting a kid with his car and then punching out the kid’s father, who just happened to be a cop. After Danforth was arrested, the cops looked inside his car and found a lot of drugs. Convinced (perhaps correctly) that Danforth is a drug dealer and a smuggler, the cops promptly toss him into a filthy jail cell.

The cocky Danforth is convinced that his father will soon free him from the prison. However, in the next cell, an old man (Ferdy Mayne) says that Danforth has been tossed into a special cell. It’s a cell that is reserved for the worst of the worst. The Old Man says that no one ever leaves the cell. At first, Danforth laughs off the old man’s claims but, at night, the Old Man dissolves into a puddle of liquid that enters Danforth’s cells and attempts to attack him. Danforth survives but when he tells his lawyer and his jailers about what happened, the authorities respond by chaining Danforth to a wall, leaving Danforth at the mercy of the Old Man.

It’s a pretty good thing that Danforth is such an unlikable and downright loathsome character because, otherwise, this would be a really disturbing episode. Instead, Danforth is a stereotypical rich kid who thinks that he can get away with anything and that the rules don’t apply to him. He shows no remorse about having hit a kid with his car. He’s cocky and arrogant from the minute we see him. He’s exactly the kind of guy who gives Americans abroad a bad name. In the end, it’s hard not to feel that he really doesn’t have anyone but himself to blame for his predicament. He’s a victim of his own very bad choices and he’s so confident that he’s untouchable that his final fate feels like karma.

This is a pretty simple episode. A bad guy falls victims to his own stupidity. There’s nothing likable about Timothy Danforth, though Maxwell Caulfield certainly does a good job in the role. Caulfield plays Danforth as being an incredibly spoiled brat, someone who has never been held responsible for his actions and who can’t believe that he’s actually in real trouble. Surprisingly, Caulfield almost gets you to feel sorry for Danforth at the end of the episode. Danforth really had no idea what he was getting himself involved with. That said, in the end, bad decisions are bad decisions and Danforth has no one to blame but himself.

This was an effective episode, with a lot of atmosphere and a good performance from Maxwell Caulfield. So far, Season 3 of Monsters is off to a good start.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.3 “Bug House”

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to return to Monsters!

Episode 3.3 “Bug House”

(Dir by Kenny Myers, originally aired on October 14th, 1990)

Ellen (Karen Sillas) visits her sister, May (Juliette Kirth) and is shocked by what she discovers. May is living in a cabin that was once owned by their father and she’s allowed the place to become infested with roaches and other bugs! May is pregnant and appears to be mentally unstable. She lives with her boyfriend, the handsome but creepy Peter (Robert Kerbeck).

What’s interesting is that, even though Ellen is disgusted by how May is living, one gets the feeling that Ellen is also secretly happy to see that her sister is struggling. It’s obvious that there are a lot of complicated feelings between the two of them. Their conversation at the start of the episode is a masterclass in passive aggressive communication. And even though Ellen claims not to trust Peter, it’s easy to guess what’s going to happen between them.

Unfortunately, Peter’s not just some creepy guy with a condescending attitude. He’s actually an insectoid creature who just happens to be wearing a human mask. And when May gives birth, she gives birth to a giant roach. While Peter gazes adoring at the roach, May is devoured by maggots. As terrifying as that is, the episode ends with Ellen pregnant….

AGCK!

This was an episode of Monsters that actually lived up to its name. Peter was a horrifying creation and the scenes with the bugs were among some of the most effective that I’ve seen on this show. With this episode, Monsters moved beyond the deliberate campiness of the majority of its episodes and instead embraced Cronenbergian body horror. The atmosphere was full of dread and the cabin was an effectively macabre location. (What made the cabin especially disturbing was that it was obvious that it had once been quite nice before Peter moved in. Bugs ruin everything!) Everything from the dilapidated set design to the dark lighting to the ominous music came together to make this episode feel like a filmed nightmare. Speaking for myself, there’s nothing more terrifying than a giant roach. Seriously, I hate those things! Even the name — Roach — sounds like something that would kill you if it got a chance.

But what truly made this episode work were the performances of Karen Sillas and Juliette Kirth as the two sisters. They not only captured the bond that all sisters share but they also captured how that bond can sometimes lead to competition. The sisters love each other but there’s also a lot of resentment behind almost everything that they say to each other, which brings a whole extra layer of meaning to this episode’s story.

This was an excellent episode and a great way to return to Monsters!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/22/24 — 12/28/24

Posted on December 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here are a few thoughts about what I watched during the final week of 2024.

Check It Out (Tubi)

Look for my review of this show next Saturday.

Degrassi High and Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

I’ve had a cold since the day after Christmas so I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed and rewatching the Degrassi franchise.

Dragnet (YouTube)

Joe Friday and Bill Gannon kept the streets safe in the episodes that I watched on Friday as I tried to get over my cold. Good for them!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

In order to get a head start on 2o25, I watched an episode of Friday the 13th this week. Look for my review next Friday!

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

I watched this classic special with Erin on Thursday. Someone needs to check on Charlie Brown. He’s sleeping in the snow! He’ll never finish War and Peace if he gets pneuomonia!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I returned to Highway to Heaven this week. Look for my review next week!

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

Look for my review next week!

King of the Hill (Hulu)

Hank rented a truck for the holidays! “You mean …. a convoy!?” Absolutely one of my favorite episodes of this classic show and I was happy to watch it on Monday.

I went on to binge a few more episodes on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I’ve had a cold and this show has definitely kept me entertained as I’ve tried to will myself into good health.

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I watched an episode of The Love Boat this week. Look for my review next week!

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I forced myself to watch two episodes of this show on Sunday. Look for my reviews in 2025!

Monsters (YouTube)

I returned to Monsters this week. Look for my review next week!

Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (Sunday Night, ABC)

I watched this holiday classic with my sisters on Sunday night. It made me smile, as it always does. I love the holidays!

Seinfeld (Netflix)

I watched the Festivus episode on Monday (which, appropriately enough, was Festivus!). I always enjoy it when Bryan Cranston shows up as the decadent dentist.

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

Look for my reviews to return next week!

TV 2000 (Night Flight+)

I watched an episode of this 80s music video program on Friday night. They were really wild about Bruce Springsteen. I’ve never really gotten his appeal but then again, I’m not from New Jersey.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

I’m continuing my way through the fourth and final season. My reviews will return in 2025.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 3.2 “Murray’s Monster”

Posted on December 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Monsters tries to be funny and it actually succeeds for once!

Episode 3.2 “Murray’s Monster”

(Dir by Scott Alexander, originally aired on October 7th, 1990)

Murray’s Monster opens with Sherwin (Joe Flaherty) laying on a psychologist’s couch and talking about how much he hates his overbearing wife while Debbie (Teresa Gaznel) takes notes. Debbie suddenly tells Sherwin that they’re out of time because Sherwin has to see his next patient. Sherwin sits up on the couch and Debbie returns to the reception desk. It’s an obvious joke but one that is well-played by both Joe Flaherty and Teresa Ganzel. That’s another way of saying that it made me laugh, even though I saw it coming.

Sherwin’s new patient is Murray (Marvin Kaplan). Murray is nervous and apologetic. He even apologizes for coming to his appointment, offering to come back next week if it’s too much of a bother for Sherwin to see him that day. Murray explains that people have been kicking him around all of his life and he’s sick of it. Sherwin, after telling Murray that he’s less than a man, puts Murray under hypnosis. Sherwin tells Murray to be more assertive. Murray promptly turns into an angry ape-man (Colin Penman). Ape-Man Murray is angry and destructive but, once he calms down, he turns back into Murray.

Frightened at first, Sherwin soon realizes that he can use Murray to his advantage. He invites Murray to have dinner with his wife, Luann (Miriam Flynn). His plan is that Murray will get angry with Luann, turn into an ape, and kill her. Then Sherwin will be free to pursue Debbie. Sherwin’s plan works in that Murray does get frustrated and he does turn into the ape. But, instead of killing Luann, he instead picks her up and runs off with her.

The next day, Sherwin is shocked when Murray and Luann show up at his office. It turns out that, since Murray was sick of people always telling him what to do, Ape Murray decided to disobey Sherwin’s wishes and has instead fallen in love with Luann. When Sherwin gets upset and starts yelling, Murray turns into the ape again. Uh-oh!

(As Luann puts it, “You’re a bad psychologist, Sherwin, because you never listen to your patients!”)

I have to say that I usually cringe whenever Monsters tries to be deliberately funny but this episode actually made me laugh. Joe Flaherty and Marvin Kaplan both had great comedic timing and, even though I saw the final twist coming, the dialogue was still clever enough and the performances sharp enough to hold my interest. This was a good episode. Good for Murray. Good for Monsters!

With the the holidays approaching, this is my final review of Monsters for 2024. My Monsters reviews will return on January 1st, 2025!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.1 “Stressed Environment”

Posted on December 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we begin the third season of Monsters!

Episode 3.1 “Stressed Environment”

(Dir by Jeffrey Wolf, originally aired on September 30th, 1990)

The third season of Monsters starts off with the story of an experiment gone wrong.

For twelve years, Dr. Elizabeth Porter (Carol Lynley) has been experimenting with lab rats, trying to help them evolve into a higher form of intelligence. Her work is supervised by Dr. Robert Winston (Victor Raider-Wexler) and her assistants are the cowardly Keith (Scott Weir) and Gina (Kathleen McCall). The episode opens with a lengthy (by Monsters standards) scene of Gina undressing and then putting on her special rat feeding uniform while Keith tries to discreetly watch. It’s a scene that really has little to do with the rest of the episode but I guess the producers of Monsters decided that the best way to survive to a fourth season would be to appeal to teenage boys.

Anyway, Keith’s crush on Gina comes to naught because Gina is killed while trying to feed the rats. It turns out that the rats have gotten smart. They’ve gotten smart enough to build crude spears and crossbows and use them as weapons. Dr. Winston wants to shut the experiment down. Keith wants to go home. Elizabeth, however, wants to protect her rats and see if she can convince them to give up their weapons and live in peace. Dr. Winston points out that if humans can’t convince their own species to do that, how is Elizabeth going to convince a bunch of rats?

And Dr. Winston has a point. Elizabeth may think that she has a special bond with the rats but the rats disagree. Soon, Gina is not the only person to have lost their life to an army of spear-carrying rats. The episode ends with Keith as the sole survivor and his ultimate fate is still up in the air. The rats are angry, ruthless, and armed.

And cute!

Seriously, this episode probably might have been more effective if the rats themselves have been a bit more frightening but it wouldn’t have been as much fun. As it is, the use of crude puppets actually made the rats look kind of adorable, especially when they were holding their little spears and setting up their little crossbows. Of course, one reason why I found the rats to be cute is because I’m used to CGI. I take CGI for granted. This episode was made when special effects people still had to use puppets for their monsters and, as a result, the rats don’t really look like rats. They’re so fake-looking that it’s hard not to like them. They’re a throw-back to a simpler and more innocent time.

This was actually a pretty entertaining episode and a great way to start season 3! I appreciated that this episode of Monsters featured actual monsters. After the uneven batch of episodes that finished up the second season of this show, it’s nice to season 3 starting off on the right foot.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/24/24 — 11/30/24

Posted on November 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Spending this Thanksgiving week with my sisters, I didn’t watch a lot of television. I did watch and review episodes of Homicide, Degrassi High, Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, and Monsters.

And, earlier today, I watched episodes of CHiPs, Degrassi High, Baywatch Nights, Monsters, Malibu CA, Check It Out, and Friday the 13th: The Series and I wrote up reviews that will post over the course of the upcoming week. It’s always nice to have a head start on all of that.

On Tuesday, Erin and I watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Charlie Brown really was way too nice about Peppermint Patty inviting herself over to his house and then getting upset over being served popcorn. Myself, I love the fact that Snoopy had a fully cooked turkey that he basically hid from everyone else until it was just him and Woodstock at the house.

On Wednesday, I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen. I was not surprised to see Lulu eliminated. I hope Brandon wins this season.

I watched bits of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and also the four football games that were played on Thursday. My cousins were really into the football games. I said I thought it would be nice if everyone could win and I got booed and accused of being a commie. As for the parade, it just made me wish that I was in New York to see it in person. Maybe next year!

On Friday, I watched episodes of two old 90s shows — Rollergames and Happy Hour. They were both enjoyably dumb.

And that’s it for this week!