Brad reviews CHRISTMAS CRASH (2009), starring Michael Madsen and Alexandra Paul!

Posted on December 14, 2025 by Bradley Crain

As I scrolled through the “Recommended” movies on Tubi last night, I came across this one movie, CHRISTMAS CRASH, that intrigued me. It sounded sort of like a Hallmark movie, but it starred Michael Madsen, an actor I couldn’t possibly imagine in a Hallmark movie. Check out this description on Tubi…

“An unhappily married couple is presumed dead after their private plane crashes in the woods, but reconnects as their survival offers a second chance.”

All bad grammar aside, it was very late at night and I was looking for something that required zero functioning brain cells, and this seemed to fit the bill. Also, I had recently watched Madsen in the theatrical release of KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, where he was so good, so I thought I’d check out his performance as the husband reconnecting with his wife, played here by Alexandra Paul (BAYWATCH).

After watching CHRISTMAS CRASH, all I can say is that I still can’t imagine Michael Madsen in anything that resembles a Hallmark movie. To say that he was “miscast as the beleaguered husband attempting to reconnect with his wife while attempting to survive the trek back to civilization after the plane crash” just may be my understatement of the year. There was nothing about his performance that seemed remotely realistic from the very beginning to the very end. Still, his uncomfortable line delivery, whether it be in a tense board meeting, out in the middle of the woods, or at a Christmas party at the end of the movie, is my favorite part of the movie. It was oddly enjoyable in a way that I can’t quite explain. Alexandra Paul does come off a little better as she proves to have some determined survival instincts, but this will not be on anyone’s list of career highlights.

CHRISTMAS CRASH has some pretty Canadian scenery as the married couple fly their plane over some beautiful mountains before crash landing in a beautiful, frigid lake. Luckily for them though, they’re able to swim to the shore, start a small, but obviously very warm, fire and somehow not succumb to hypothermia. And the weather, at least based on the news reports their terrified daughters are seeing on TV, is so terrible that search and rescue efforts have to be suspended. The problem is we never see any of this bad weather. What we’re shown looks fine! I laughed out loud when I saw that weather report coupled with beautiful sunshine! I will admit that I was worried about the big gash on Madsen’s lower leg after the accident, especially since it looked so dirty. But after the initial application of a homemade tourniquet, it wasn’t really mentioned any further. After about thirty minutes of screen time with no grody scenes of leg re-dressing, I quit worrying about it. And then there are the wolves that attempt to make a snack of our couple. I’ve seen THE GREY with Liam Neeson and I’ve been to Yellowstone, so I know that wolves are very dangerous. Let’s just say that the wolves of CHRISTMAS CRASH are too easily fended off with a medium-sized stick to ever feel too dangerous. There was this one moment where it appeared a wolf might have been biting on Madsen’s injured character for a moment, but after they run off, it’s never mentioned or shown that he was injured in any way, so I guess that wolf didn’t have any teeth.

My initial thoughts on at least a superficial connection between CHRISTMAS CRASH and the Hallmark channel did prove perceptive, as the movie is directed by Terry Ingram. A quick review of Mr. Ingram’s directorial credits on IMDB reveal an extensive connection to Hallmark, with generic titles such as HATS OFF TO CHRISTMAS, ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR LOVE, and THE MISTLETOE SECRET. Despite the director’s apparent love of the season and the fact this movie is titled CHRISTMAS CRASH, it sure doesn’t feel very Christmassy. With extremely limited changes, this movie could be set in any season, so don’t expect any feelings of genuine Yuletide spirit.

Overall, I’d say the best thing about CHRISTMAS CRASH is that it’s a 90 minute movie that has potential value in a “so bad it’s funny” kind of way. I think it would be fun to watch with friends, or as a “Live Movie Tweet” on social media. I watched the whole movie, had a few unintentional laughs, and when it was over around 1:00 in the morning, I went to bed none the worse for the wear.

Brad’s thoughts on KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR!

Posted on December 8, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Anything new from Quentin Tarantino is a big deal at my house. When you consider that it’s been over six years since the auteur released his most recent film, ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD (2019), I was understandably excited when I saw that the full “extended cut” version of the KILL BILL films, dubbed “The Whole Bloody Affair” was being released to theaters. Then, after seeing the trailer, I became really curious about the new scenes that were added, as well as the different presentations of the previous material. When I originally watched the separate volumes at the movie theater in 2003 and 2004, I enjoyed the first movie slightly more than the second based on the fact that it had more action. Now, I wanted to see how the two volumes flowed as one single film. My wife was working this weekend, so I had some time on my hands and decided to spend about four hours of that time watching KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR.

First, a quick summary of the film… on the eve of her wedding, a pregnant bride-to-be (Uma Thurman) and her entire wedding party is gunned down by the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, commanded by her former lover, Bill (David Carradine). Somehow surviving the rehearsal massacre, the Bride, who was once a member of the same assassination squad, sets her sights for revenge on each of the members, beginning with O’Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), and then moving on to Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox), Budd (Michael Madsen), Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah), and finally Bill himself. It’s a simple premise, but Tarantino uses that premise as a springboard to share his love of kung fu movies, samurai cinema, spaghetti westerns and grind house fare and create something truly special. I loved the KILL BILL films when they were originally released, and the four hours seemed to go by very quickly today as I had a blast watching this definitive version with a relatively full theater of fans.

After watching KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, my first thought is that it wouldn’t be that different if the theater just showed Volume One, had a 15-minute intermission, and then showed Volume Two. This isn’t putting down the new version in any way, but there are not a large number of changes that enhance the overall quality of the film itself, and screening the original volumes back-to-back would provide the context for the “big picture” of the story that was lacking when the movies were released in the separate years of 2003 and 2004. With that said, watching the film in this new version was a lot of fun for me, and it should become the norm moving forward as it is truly Tarantino’s vision. It does flow better, mainly by eliminating the unnecessary, late cliffhanger reveal of the daughter in Volume One, as well as the Bride’s “direct to the camera” update at the beginning of Volume Two.

For those who want to go see this new version, I did want to point out the significant differences I noticed while viewing KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR. The first sequence where I noticed obvious additions to the film occurred in the anime sequence that introduces the background of O’Ren Ishii. This extended version adds additional footage of the Yakuza assassin Pretty Riki to the sequence, and once O’Ren is a slightly older schoolgirl, we get to see her execute a plan of vengeance against him. I would guess somewhere between five and ten minutes of action was added to the sequence. I enjoyed it in Volume One, and I also enjoyed the extended anime sequence in this new version. Does the sequence really add to the overall quality of the film, though? Even though I enjoyed the new material and am glad it was added, I would say no. The next significant difference I noticed with this version concerns the addition of color to the fight sequence between the Bride and the crazy 88’s in the House of Blue Leaves, as compared to the sequence in Volume One that was shown largely in black and white. As a person who doesn’t enjoy a lot of gore in my movies, it never bothered me that the scene switched from color to black and white once the limbs and heads started getting lopped off. With that said, it was kind of fun watching all those limbs hacked off in glorious color this time around. Finally, there is a post-credits animated sequence called “The Lost Chapter: Yuki’s Revenge” where Gogo Yubari’s twin sister tries to get revenge on the Bride. It lasts about ten minutes or so, but honestly, it didn’t add much to the overall experience for me, and I doubt I’ll ever watch it again. As a completist though, I am glad that I stuck around and watched it. These are the only big changes I noticed while watching THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR. I’m sure there had to be some more changes, but I don’t think they were significant.

I did want to share some final thoughts I had while watching KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR this afternoon. I noticed on the opening title card that the movie is dedicated to the great Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku, and you can definitely see his influence all over this film. It also affected me more watching Michael Madsen’s excellent performance as Bill’s brother Budd. Tarantino just knows how to get the best out of Madsen, and considering that he passed away a few months ago, I just really appreciated his work while watching the film. I also enjoyed the multiple shoutouts to my movie hero Charles Bronson in the film. First, there’s a MR. MAJESTYK poster hanging on the wall in Budd’s trailer that is featured often throughout the various shenanigans and fights that take place in the trailer. Second, Charles Bronson passed away in 2003, the year that Volume One of KILL BILL was released. In the final credits of the film, Bronson receives an RIP credit. I’ve always loved the fact that Tarantino loves Charles Bronson, and that’s on full display in KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR. I would have given anything if Bronson had been in better health as Tarantino was coming into his own as a filmmaker. I have no doubt that he would have been offered a chance to appear in one of the director’s films.

At the end of the day, I had a great time watching KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR. The four hours flew by, and I truly appreciated seeing Tarantino’s full vision realized on screen. While I do think this should be the definitive version moving forward, I loved the KILL BILL films before today. THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR improves the overall flow of the film and adds some fun new stuff, but my love for the film didn’t really change that much today… it just runs a tad bit deeper.

Brad reviews STRAIGHT TALK (1992), starring Dolly Parton and James Woods!

Posted on December 6, 2025 by Bradley Crain

STRAIGHT TALK opens with Shirlee Kenyon (Dolly Parton) having a bad day in the town of Flat River, Arkansas. First, she gets fired from her job at a dance studio because she likes to talk to the customers more about their problems than she does teaching them to dance. Then she goes home to her lazy, unemployed boyfriend Steve (Michael Madsen), who’s more interested in drinking beer and bowling than talking to her. She tells him she wants to leave town and go to Chicago for a fresh start. He heads to the bar, so she packs her bags and heads to the Windy City. Upon arriving, she finds a job as a receptionist at a local radio station. Through a case of mistaken identity that can only happen in the movies, Shirlee finds herself on air as “Dr. Shirlee,” where she begins fielding calls from people with all kinds of problems. With her homespun wisdom, Dr. Shirlee soon finds herself to be the toast of Chicago. Feeling guilty that the station is advertising her as a “Doctor” when she’s not, Shirlee reluctantly continues on when her boss Alan (Griffin Dunne) convinces her she’s a “doctor of the heart.” Alan takes that simple lie and creates an entire fake public identity for Shirlee. When reporter Jack Russell (James Woods), in serious need of a story, senses that something’s not adding up with Dr. Shirlee, he convinces his editor Milo Jacoby (Jerry Orbach) to let him try to get close to the city’s new star to see if he can dig up some dirt. As he gets to know her, however, he’s charmed just like the rest of city and the two begin to fall in love. With Shirlee feeling guilty about being marketed as someone she’s not, and with Jack feeling bad about deceiving her for a scoop, is there any chance that their love can survive when the truth finally comes out?

STRAIGHT TALK is one of those movies that lives or dies based on whether or not you like its stars. This early 90’s romantic comedy was made for Dolly Parton’s fans, of which there are many. She looks beautiful, she has a great wardrobe, she sings the catchy soundtrack tunes, and she dispenses down-home country wisdom in a way that only Dolly can. And then there’s James Woods as the cynical reporter / love interest. Not traditionally handsome or known for his performances in romantic comedies, he brings his unique style to the role, and somehow it really works. As a huge fan of Woods, I may be a little biased, but I think that he has a great chemistry with Dolly. There does seem to be some basis for my claim as the two seemed to really enjoy each other on the set. Dolly has been quoted as saying that he’s “a great kisser” and a “thrill to be around.” Woods recently posted on social media that “Dolly Parton is the nicest person I’ve ever worked with…. She’s everything you imagine and so much more. Anybody who’s ever spent any time with her absolutely adores her.” I think these genuine feelings show through on the screen and provide levels of entertainment that transcend what’s on the pages of the script.

Aside from the excellent chemistry of its leads, STRAIGHT TALK does lean hard into romantic comedy cliches, and honestly that’s okay with me. I enjoyed the familiar plot lines… Will Shirlee become a star in the big city? Will reporter Jack expose her past? Will the two fall in love? Will her old boyfriend Steve show up? Will her “on-air” advice cause some unexpected problems? Well, of course, on all accounts! As these well worn stories play out against the backdrop of an early 90’s movie version of Chicago, I enjoy the movie for what it is, an entertaining fluff piece. The interesting supporting cast (Griffin Dunne, Michael Madsen, Jerry Orbach, John Sayles, Spalding Gray, etc.) do their jobs well, further enhancing my appreciation of the movie.

With all that said, I do recognize that the joy of movies is purely a subjective experience, and if you’re not a fan of Dolly Parton, you probably won’t enjoy STRAIGHT TALK. It’s not a great movie in traditional terms, but it is a great “Dolly Parton” movie. I like Dolly, and I especially enjoy her relationship with James Woods within the film, so this is another one of those movies from my youth that I like to watch every few years. I enjoy it every single time.

Who’s going to see KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR (2025) this weekend?

Posted on December 3, 2025 by Bradley Crain

To answer my own question, “I am!” I was checking my local movie theater listings for this weekend and came across the showtimes for the release of KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, and I must admit I’m pretty excited about it. My wife is working this weekend so I have all Sunday to myself, and watching this Quentin Tarantino classic in a whole new way sounds like a lot of fun.

Check out the trailer below, and if you’re in the Little Rock area, I just may see you there!

October Positivity: I’m In Love With A Church Girl (dir by Steve Race)

Posted on October 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2013’s I’m In Love With A Church Girl, future Fyre Festival promoter Ja Rule stars as Miles Montego.

Miles is wealthy and powerful and glamorous and he owes it all to his career as a drug dealer. However, at heart, he’s still a good son who loves his mother and who worries about disappointing her with his criminal lifestyle. His mother is big into church and she wants Miles to settle down with a good Christian girl. Miles is like, “It’ll never happen.” But then, at a party thrown by his accountant (Vincent Pastore), Miles meets and falls for Vanessa Leon (Adrienne Bailon). Vanessa is a …. wait for it …. church girl!

Falling in love with Vanessa changes Miles. He realizes that there’s more to life than just making money and hanging out with the members of his drug-dealing crew. He goes to church with Vanessa and is shocked to discover that the preacher owns a nice suit and drives a fancy car. The preacher explains that it’s not a sin to by stylish. Tell that to the Amish, preach.

Anyway, Miles may be finding God but the DEA still wants to take down Miles and his crew. Martin Kove appears in one scene as the DEA supervisor who orders Stephen Baldwin and Michael Madsen to make Miles their number one priority. Madsen isn’t in much of the film but Baldwin makes many appearances, popping up regularly to remind us that Miles is still under surveillance.

Miles’s new-found faith is tested when his mother dies. Then, when Vanessa ends up in the hospital, Miles really struggles. If you’ve ever wanted to see Ja Rule deliver an angry and impassioned monologue about faith, I’m In Love With A Church Girl is the film for you!

To give credit where credit is due, I’m In Love With A Church Girl was clearly made with the best of intentions. The film was written by Galley Molina, a real life former drug dealer who later became a preacher. Molina reportedly based the film on his own life story and the end result is an very earnest film that does seem to believe it’s own message. That’s a good thing.

The bad thing is that the film, with its 2-hour running time, is almost painfully slow and the rather simple story is stretched so thin that the film itself becomes a bit of an endurance test. The other problem is that Ja Rule is, to put it charitably, not a very good actor. He sleepwalks through the film with a somewhat dazed expression on his face, projecting little of the charisma that you would probably need to get an otherwise sensible person like Vanessa to overlook your drug dealing career. He certainly doesn’t have the screen presence to carry a two-hour film and he big dramatic monologue is more likely to inspire laughter than tears.

(It doesn’t help that it’s hard to look at him without thinking about him bragging about how great the Fyre Festival was going to be.)

The film is so well-intentioned that I kind of hate to be critical of it but I’m In Love With A Church Girl doesn’t really work.

Song of the Day: Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealers Wheel

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you know, you know.

RIP, Michael Madsen.

The Killing Time (1987, directed by Rick King)

Posted on May 18, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

After she is raped and beaten by her husband, Jake (Wayne Rogers), Laura Winslow (Camelia Kath) and her lover, Deputy Sam Wayburn (Beau Bridges), plot to murder him. Sam and Laura come up with a plan to shoot Jake and frame another deputy, the recently hired Brian Mars (Kiefer Sutherland), for the crime. What Sam doesn’t know is that Brian isn’t Brian. Instead, “Brian” killed the real deputy and stole his identity. Fake Brian has his own reasons for wanting to kill Jake but he also doesn’t appreciate Sam and Laura trying to set him up.

This is a typical 80s neo-noir, with an interesting premise that is sabotaged by subpar execution. A big problem is with the casting. Beau Bridges, whose stock-in-trade has always been a natural human decency, is miscast as a deputy who would conspire to not only murder someone but also frame an innocent man. Camelia Kath doesn’t have the style necessary to be a compelling femme fatale. Sutherland is good when he’s playing a psychopath but he’s less convincing when he has to pretend to be Brian. It’s hard to believe that Sutherland’s obviously unstable killer would be able to fool anyone.

Instead, the film is stolen by Joe Don Baker and Wayne Rogers. Joe Don Baker plays the sheriff who gives up his retirement plans so that he can solve the biggest crime that’s ever been committed in his jurisdiction, Baker’s role isn’t huge but he still gives one of the better performances in the film. If anyone was born to play a small-town sheriff, it was Joe Don Baker. Meanwhile, Rogers is very much cast against type as the evil Jake but the film uses Rogers’s good guy persona to its advantage.

The other big problem is that, other than Baker’s sheriff, there’s no one likeable to be found in this movie. The movie tries to generate sympathy for Sam but once you decide to frame an “innocent” man for murder, it’s impossible to then go back to being a sympathetic character. Brian may be a killer but Sam didn’t know that when he and Laura decided to frame him for killing Jake.

Movies like this used to be a HBO mainstay. Even though the movies themselves often weren’t that good, I still miss those days.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Harvey Keitel Edition!

Posted on May 13, 2025 by Bradley Crain

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is Harvey Keitel’s 86th birthday! Harvey Keitel is one of the great, fearless actors of our time (BAD LIEUTENANT, anyone). He has been working hard since 1965, and he’s still going strong today, adding up to a career that spans 60 years and counting. His work for great directors like Scorsese and Tarantino has been vital to the quality and success of those films. I really came to appreciate Keitel when he had somewhat of a career resurgence in the early 90’s when I was in my late teens. He’s just a great actor who makes everything he appears in better.

Today, in honor of Harvey Keitel’s 86th birthday, here are 4 Shots from 4 Films!

MEAN STREETS (1973)

FINGERS (1978)

RESERVOIR DOGS (1992)

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996)

The Eric Roberts Collection: Red Prophecies (dir by Rodney James Hewitt and Christopher Gosch)

Posted on May 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was going to take a short break from reviewing the many films of Eric Roberts but then I came across 2021’s Red Prophecies on Tubi.

Actually, did I just say 2021? Coming up with a date for this film is actually a little bit more complicated than that. This film was apparently actually filmed in 2014 but it sat on the shelf for a while. The version that was released has a prologue and an epilogue that were obviously filmed in 2020. Russian actor Alexander Nevsky appears in both scenes, talking about his plans for manipulating the upcoming U.S. elections. It’s one of those scenes that is meant to be chilling but instead just reminds the viewer of how ludicrously melodramatic and performative most political discourse has been since 2017.

The majority of the film features Eric Roberts as John Payne, an American reporter who moves to Russia and becomes famous for his ability to predict what’s going to happen in Russian politics. For instance, Payne writes that an opposition leader is going to be arrested and he is! Payne gets his information from “The Oracle,” an anonymous source who sends him emails that John, who is supposed to be a veteran reporter, types up without question. Casper Van Dien, who is playing some sort of Russian intelligence agent, tries to figure out where Payne is getting his information from. Stephen Baldwin shows up as a shady Russian politician. Michael Madsen plays a UN official who Payne suspects is actually corrupt. (A corrupt UN official is probably the most plausible of the film’s plot points.) It’s all a part of a huge plot to destabilize both Russia and the United States. How it all links together is anyone’s guess. The story is not easy to follow, which is probably why the film sat on a shelf for seven years until someone realized that there was a market for international conspiracy films in the United States.

There’s a lot of familiar faces in this movie. We don’t actually hear their voices in the film because apparently, it would have cost too much money to have them come back to do ADR. So, instead, we get one person trying to sound like a dozen different people. Eric Roberts, Stephen Baldwin, and Michael Madsen all have very distinctive voices so when they all sound like a 20-something using autotune, you’re going to notice.

This was a messy film. I’m not really sure if it was mean to be pro-Russian or anti-Russian. The film takes place in Russia and it deals with people being oppressed and opposition leaders being murdered by the government but one name this is never mentioned is the name of Vladimer Putin. Is this movie supposed to be taking place in the real world or an alternate world? I was never quite sure. Several of the characters could have easily been cut from the film and again, buying the film’s story means accepting that a famously hard-boiled reporter would automatically trust an email sent to him by someone calling themselves The Oracle. It’s nice to see the cream of the B-movie, straight-to-video crop all in one film together but otherwise, Red Prophecies doesn’t add up to much.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Collection: Beyond The Trophy (dir by Daniel J. Gillin)

Posted on April 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Does this plot sound familiar?

There’s a gang war brewing. An undercover cop is sent into one of the gangs and ends up falling in love. Another cop is involved in the undercover operation but he’s actually working for one of the mob bosses. And then there’s a Russian mob boss who keeps complicating things. The whole thing plays out with a lot of scenes of people pointing guns at each other and randomly shouting before gunfire erupts. No one can trust. There’s plenty of twists. There’s narration from one of the mob bosses. The plot is actually pretty confusing as one person after another turns out to be working for someone else. The whole thing leads to so many betrayals that it almost become comical in its indulgence.

The Departed, you say?

No, this isn’t a Scorsese film. Instead, this is 2012’s Beyond The Trophy, which has a plot that borrows a lot from The Departed. Then again, the film actually borrows a lot from every other mobster film that’s ever been made. Most gangster films aren’t really about the activities of real-life gangsters as much as they’re about recreating the classic film scenes that the director enjoyed while growing up. As a result, we get a few Scorsese-style freeze frames to go along with the narration. We get plenty of Tarantino-style stand-offs. We got the Russian mob because every film has to have the Russian mob nowadays.

We also get Michael Madsen and Eric Roberts. Roberts plays Sgt. Bachman and his role is small. He smiles while barking out orders and he looks after his daughter, another undercover cop named Chastity (Brooke Newton). Roberts doesn’t get to do much and I’m not sure how many big city police departments are run by people with long hair but he’s Eric Roberts. You can’t help but love him. As for Madsen, he narrates in his trademark threatening whisper. Madsen is one of those actors who was born to play tough guys so he’s credible as a mob boss, even if he doesn’t really put much effort into the film. You can usually tell whether or not Madsen is invested in a film by whether or not he bothers to wash his hair. For the most part, his hair look pretty oily in this film.

The majority of the film revolves around Stephen Cloud and Michael Masini as the two cops and they both give credible-enough performances. Because the script is basically just a recreation of scenes from other mob films, neither one really gets a chance to surprise us. The one member of the cast who actually does manage to break free and make an impression is Robert Miano, who makes his Vegas mob boss into a somewhat sympathetic figure.

File this one under standard mafia nonsense.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed: