Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #21: I Am Watching You (dir by Maureen Bharoocha)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June.  She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th!  Will she make it!?  Keep visiting the site to find out!)

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I was originally planning on reviewing the 21st film on my DVR yesterday evening but that was before my hometown of Dallas, Texas turned into a war zone after a sniper opened fire on a Black Lives Matter protest that was being held downtown.  From 9 pm to 5 in the morning, I was watching the news and following the story on twitter.  10 police officers and 1 protester were shot by a gunman who later blown up in the parking garage of El Centro College.    Sadly, as of this writing, five of the wounded officers have lost their lives.  It was tragic and terrifying to watch this situation unfold, especially with the knowledge that it was all happening just a few miles away from me.  Needless to say, at that moment, reviewing a Lifetime film was the last thing on my mind.  I was just happy knowing that my family, friends, and loved ones were all safe.

As I sit here writing this, the city is still in shock and large portions of Dallas are currently shut down.  (Fortunately, I was already off work for this week.)  And, oddly enough, I’m suddenly finding myself very happy that I still have 19 films left to review.  When the world gets too crazy and scary, movies can provide a needed escape and right now, I need that escape.

So, with all that in mind, let’s take a look at I Am Watching You!

There’s a scene in Joe Swanberg’s 2014 holiday film, Happy Christmas, in which Anna Kendrick encourages novelist Melanie Lynesky to abandon her pretentious and stalled literary project and instead just try to make a quick buck by writing a “mom sex” book.  “Mom sex” books (like 50 Shades of Grey, to cite the most obvious example) might not qualify as great literature but they’re full of sex and middle-aged women like to read them on the beach.  I Am Watching You tells the story of Nora Nichols (Madline Zima), a writer who specializes in writing “mom sex” books.

Nora, however, is suffering from writer’s block!  Could it be because, like all Lifetime heroines, she has recently broken up with her boyfriend and is no longer having sex?  Of course, it is!  Fortunately, Nora’s office window provides her with a perfect view of her neighbor, photographer Lucas Wheeler (Brian Ames).  Nora spends her time watching Lucas dress and undress but what Nora doesn’t suspect is that Lucas might be watching her as well.

Anyway, eventually, Nora and Lucas actually run into each other in real life and soon, they’re exploring their own 50 Shades of Grey-style melodrama.  It helps with Nora’s writing, too.  For instance, when she has to write a bondage scene, she has Lucas tie her up.

And, at first, it looks like everything is perfect!  He’s hot, he’s into bondage, he likes to watch — what could go wrong?  Well, he’s also obsessed with her and Nora soon discovers that she’s being stalked by him.  Will all of this help Nora to write a best seller?  How couldn’t it!?

Anyway, I Am Watching You is pretty much your typical Lifetime sex film.  All of the scenes are gauzy and Lucas looks good without a shirt on but otherwise, it’s pretty tame.  Even the very brief bondage scene felt more like a Chanel commercial than anything else.

But I guess my main problem with I Am Watching You is that, from what we heard in the film, Nora didn’t appear to be a very good writer.  If anything, her writing sounded like second-rate 50 Shades of Grey fanfic (which is pretty bad when you consider that 50 Shades itself is second-rate fanfic).  Considering all that she goes through to get her book written, it would be nice if the book at least sounded like it was worth reading.

I Am Watching You originally aired on Lifetime on May 15th and I’m sure it’ll probably air again many times over the upcoming year.  They usually do.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #136: Fatal Flip (dir by Maureen Bharoocha)


Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film, Fatal Flip!

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Why Was I Watching It?

With a name like Fatal Flip, I was thinking that this film might be another Lifetime cheerleader film.  And, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, one of my favorite Lifetime films of all time is Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal.  I figured I could watch the movie and then ask Dazzling Erin whether or not Fatal Flip was an accurate portrayal of the dangerous world of cheerleading.

What Was It About?

Well, it quickly became obvious that Fatal Flip had absolutely nothing to do with cheerleading.  Instead, it turned out that Fatal Flip was about the dark side of house flipping.

Alex (Dominique Swain) and her boyfriend Jeff (Michael Steger) max out their credit cards so that they can buy a colonial house that they plan to fix up and then sell for a profit.  At first, Alex and Jeff are convinced that they can fix up the entire house on their own but then it turns out that Jeff is kind of a whiny little wimp.

Fortunately, while at the hardware store, Jeff meets Nate (Mike Faiola).  Nate knows everything about home improvement.  He also wears a lot of plaid.  Anyway, Nate agrees to help Jeff and Alex fix up the house.  And, because this is a Lifetime movie, neither Jeff nor Alex have any problem with Nate moving in with them.

However, Nate has secrets of his own.  For instance, there’s the woman who he previously sealed up in a wall.  Plus, he has a beard which, in the world of Lifetime, is always a huge red flag.

And, of course, he wears a lot of plaid…

What Worked?

The whole film was about redecorating a house so I definitely enjoyed that.  One of the fun things about watching a movie on Lifetime is that a lot of attention is always paid to the interior of everyone’s house.  Fatal Flip took that tendency to its logical extreme.

What Did Not Work?

Obviously, a movie like this always requires a certain suspension of disbelief.  But seriously, Fatal Flip took it just a little too far.  Nate was so obviously unhinged that it was impossible to believe that anyone could be stupid enough to not realize it.

Add to that, a better title for the film would have been The Plaid Killer.  Because, seriously, when it came to Nate, it was nonstop plaid.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Much like Alex, I also enjoy making houses look nice and salable.  (Though I do have to say that I’m kind of surprised that she never changed the wallpaper in the living room.  Seriously, that was bothering me through the entire film.)

Lessons Learned

House flipping is not as glamorous as HGTV would have you believe.