Horror On TV: One Step Beyond 1.19 “The Captain’s Guests” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, a couple moves into a house on the coast. Everyone tells them that the house is haunted but the couple refuses to believe them. After all, everyone knows how superstitious people are in New England. Everyone’s heard the story of the haunted mudroom, right?

However, after moving into the house, the couple starts to realize that they are not alone….

According to the show’s host, John Newland, this is based on a true story (maybe)!

This episode originally aired on May 26th, 1959. The husband is played by Robert Webber, who also played Juror #12 in Sidney Lumet’s 12 Angry Men.

Enjoy!

October Hacks: Evil Laugh (dir by Dominick Brascia, Jr.)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“You know what they say, Sam! Everyone wants a piece of a medical student.”

“That’s sick, Punk Rock Dan.”

So say two radio hosts towards the end of the 1986 film, Evil Laugh.

Evil Laugh is a slasher film that was directed by Dominick Brascia, the actor who appeared as Joey, the most annoying character ever, in Friday the 13th Part V. Joey was the fat kid who got on everyone’s nerves by offering them a chocolate bar. Eventually, he made the mistake of approach axe-crazy Vic while Vic was holding an actual axe. “You know I’ve never chopped wood before but it looks like fun,” Joey said. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Vic shouted. “Okay, Vic …. but I think you’re way out of line.” Vic responded by burying his axe in Joey’s back and I imagine audiences cheered. Seriously, Joey was that annoying.

Evil Laugh actually contains some references to Friday the 13th. One of the potential victims, a medical student named Barney (Jerold Pearson) is a horror movie buff who points out that the reason that Jason keeps coming back to Camp Crystal Lake is because everyone keeps having sex. Unfortunately, none of his friends listen to him.

Barney is one of a group of med students who are spending the weekend at an abandoned orphanage. Years ago, an employee named Martin was falsely accused by the orphans of abusing them. Martin’s father committed suicide from the shame and Martin went on a killing rampage before setting the place on fire. (And yet, the building still stands without so much as a burn mark.) A doctor has decided to reopen the orphanage and, in the tradition of Steve Christy and the counselors he got killed at Crystal Lake, he has recruited a bunch of med students to help him get the place ready to go. The doctor has already been killed by the time the med students arrives but they get to work anyway.

The cool thing about this movie is that there’s a cleaning montage. Everyone really gets into cleaning. I could relate to that. Another cool thing about this movie is that there are a few moments when it reveals itself to have a sense of humor. Barney is a horror fan and is constantly pointing out that everything that is happening is like something that would happen in a slasher film. Barney’s friends are dismissive of him and, as a result, things don’t go well for them. The deaths are all memorable. As well, the film’s ending worked surprisingly well. Finally, the last cool thing about this movie is that, towards the end, one character got to wear the really pretty black kimono. As soon as the movie ended, I decided to order myself a new black kimono.

That said, I don’t want to overpraise Evil Laugh. It had its moments and I think it can be argued that it had more “good moments” than the average low-budget, independently-made 80s slasher film. At the same time, some of the acting truly is unfortunate and it does seem to take a while for the film to really achieve any sort of narrative momentum. For every scene that works, there’s another one that’s just downright boring. Evil Laugh is not an overlooked classic but, again, it has its moments.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Dreamaniac (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1986’s Dreamaniac, Adam (Thomas Bern) is a total dork who lives with his much more popular sister, Pat (Ashlyn Gere). Adam aspires to be a heavy metal superstar and he is very much interested in the occult. He’s been having dreams about being visited by a sultry and mysterious woman named Lily (Sylvia Summers). When he performs a Satanic ritual to summon her for real, Lily offers him anything that he wants. Instead of asking her to turn him into the world’s greatest guitarist or something smart like that, Adam asks to be irresistible to women.

Seriously, Adam, if you were the world’s greatest guitarist, you would be getting laid all the time whether you were irresistible or not. The ugliest guy in the world is still be sexy if he can play guitar. Take a look at the Rolling Stones and its long history of ugly guitar players who all looked good as long as they were playing. Take a look at …. oh, I don’t know. I’m tired and I’m just trying to pad out this review because there’s not much to be said about this movie. Let’s move on.

Anyway, Adam gets his wish but he also has to kill the women so that Lily can take their soul and …. eh, that’s stupid. Like Adam, why would you agree to such a counter-productive agreement? Adam was so desperate to get a girlfriend that he apparently didn’t consider that none of them would really live long enough for him to have a real relationship with them. What an idiot.

After Adam sells his soul or whatever it is that he’s supposed to be doing with Lily, Pat throws a party at the house and a bunch of shallow sorority girls and fraternity boys come over and everyone dies one-by-one, usually right after having sex. No one really notices that everyone at the party is dying but then again, no one in this movie really seems to like anyone else so maybe they just don’t care.

Dreamaniac kind of ticked me off, largely because the title should have been Dream Maniac instead of Dreamaniac. I guess I would have let them even get away with something like Dreammaniac. But Dreamaniac, with only one m, just doesn’t make sense and looking at the word makes my multi-colored eyes tear up. This may sound like a petty complaint but there’s honestly not much to be said about Dreamaniac. It’s one of those low-budget, shot on video horror films where the lighting is often so dark and the soundtrack so muddy that you’re never really sure what’s happening on-screen. I dare anyone to watch this film and seriously try to tell one character a part from another. I had no idea who half the characters were and quite frankly, I didn’t care. This was one of David DeCoteau’s earlier films and it has none of the subversiveness that distinguished DeCoteau’s better efforts. (Considering the harsh tone of this review, I feel like I should point out that DeCoteau has directed some truly entertaining movies. Dreamaniac is certainly not the film that should be used to judge his overall career.)

Of course, today, DeCoteau is best known for directing the “Wrong” films for Lifetime. And really, I think the only thing that could have saved Dreamaniac would have been Vivica A. Fox showing up and saying, “Adam, you picked The Wrong Succubus.”

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.12 “The Magic Camera/Mata Hari/Valerie”

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week’s episode presents your erstwhile reviewer with a bit of an ethical quandary.

Episode 5.12 “The Magic Camera/Mata Hari/Valerie”

(Dir by Don Chaffey and Don Weis, originally aired on January 16th, 1982)

I don’t feel completely comfortable about reviewing this episode of Fantasy Island and I’ll tell you why.

Occasionally, Fantasy Island would broadcast an extra-long episode. These episodes would typically feature three fantasies as opposed to the usual two. Unfortunately, when these long episodes were syndicated, one of the fantasies would be edited out so the episode would fit into an hour-long slot. Usually, the editing was not particularly smooth, either. The end result would usually be an episode that seemed oddly paced and the performances of Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize would often seem uneven as well. As such, it’s neither easy nor particularly fair to review those edited episodes. When it comes to reviewing, I always want to see the complete episode.

And yet, now that the original Fantasy Island is no longer streaming anywhere (seriously, what the Hell, Tubi?), I’m stuck using the episodes that I have on my DVR. And that means reviewing the edited, syndicated versions of these episodes.

As you can probably guess, this is one of those edited episodes. The Valerie fantasy was removed for syndication. That’s a shame because Valerie featured the final televised performance of actor Christopher George, a charismatic B-movie veteran who is pretty popular around the Shattered Lens offices. It also featured Michelle Phillips, though apparently she did not return as the mermaid who she played earlier on the show. I’d love to review Valerie but I can’t. And that sucks,

As for the other two fantasies, one is basically a remake of the Lillian Russell fantasy, except this time Martha Harris (Phyllis Davis) goes into the past and finds herself transformed into her great-grandmother, Mata Hari. She gets to dance. She gets to spy. She gets thrown in prison and sentenced to death but, fortunately, her life is spared when the firing squad’s rifles are filled with blanks and she’s given a drug by one of the men who is in love with that makes her appear to be dead. This was a enjoyable fantasy, mostly because of the costumes and the melodrama.

The other fantasy features Bob Denver, coming to the Island for the second week in a row. This time, he’s a photographer who wants to take the type of pictures that the world’s greatest photographers couldn’t. Because of the awkward way the fantasy was stated, the photographer ends up with a camera that takes pictures of the future. At first, the photographer is really happy and uses his camera to commit a little insider trading. But then he takes a picture of a newspaper and sees a headline announcing his death in a fiery auto accident. Uh-oh!

Again, neither of the two fantasies is bad (though the second one does require a certain tolerance for Bob Denver that some people may not have) but it was hard for me to enjoy them knowing that I was missing out on a third fantasy. For that reason, I assigning this episode a grade of incomplete. If I ever get a chance to watch the complete episode, uncut, I’ll revisit this review but until then, I really can’t give an overall grade to this episode.

Finally, for those keeping track, both Julie and Tattoo join Roarke when it’s time to greet the guests. That’s only second time that’s happened this season.

Scenes I Love: The Monster Escapes In Bride of Frankenstein

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene comes from 1935’s Bride of Frankenstein. The villagers want to execute the Monster (Boris Karloff). The Monster has other ideas.

This scene epitomizes what made the first two Karloff Frankenstein films so effective. As scary and as destructive as the Monster may be, he’s nowhere near as bad or deliberately sadistic as the humans around him. He’s a monster who is definitely more of a victim than a victimizer, someone who has been cruelly tossed into a world that he doesn’t understand and who has been persecuted nonstop since the moment he was created. It’s hard not to feel sorry for Karloff’s Monster, no matter what he does. And it’s hard not to cheer a little when he escapes, even though it does inevitably lead to more tragedy and heartbreak.

October True Crime: The Ripper (dir by Christopher Lewis)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1985’s The Ripper, a straight-to-video, regional production, Richard Hartwell (Tom Schreier) is a college professor who teaches a class on Jack the Ripper. He discusses Jack the Ripper films, though he does at one point accidentally say that Murder By Decree starred Christopher Lee as Sherlock Holmes. (Lee did play Mycroft Holmes in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes). He talks about some of the conspiracy theories that surround the Ripper. He encourages his students to try to move beyond the version of Jack the Ripper that’s been sold to them by Hollywood. Some of his fellow professors think that it’s a strange class and I kind of agree. I mean, can you really do an entire semester on just Jack the Ripper?

One day, while shopping at an antique store with his girlfriend, Carol (Mona Van Pernis), Richard comes across an antique ring. Even though the ring is way too big and kind of gauche, Carol loves it. Richard decides to secretly buy it for her. Unfortunately — and this is quite a coincidence considering Richard’s profession — the ring once belonged to Jack the Ripper. And, by putting the ring on his finger, Richard is allowing Jack the Ripper to come back to life in 80s Oklahoma!

Soon, local women are being murdered in ways that duplicate the grisly crimes of Whitechapel. The police suspect that it might be one of Richard’s students. When Richard sleeps, he’s haunted by dreams about the crimes, with the Ripper always appearing in the shadows. When the Ripper is finally revealed, it turns out that he’s …. TOM SAVINI!?

Well, kind of. Tom Savini does appear as Jack the Ripper towards the end of the film. Reportedly, he flew from Philadelphia to Oklahoma and shot his big scene in one day. For the rest of the film, though, the Ripper was played by a stand-in who was always either seen from behind or seen standing in the darkness with his face usually obscured. The few glimpses we do get of the stand-in’s face, it’s obvious that he looks very little like Tom Savini. (He does have a mustache and a beard but they both look like they were pasted on.) When Savini does actually play the Ripper, he seems slightly embarrassed by the whole thing. Tom Savini has always been a pretty good actor but, in The Ripper, he’s not given much to do other than glower at the camera with an evil look on his face. There’s little of the humor that Savini has brought to other roles and that’s a shame because Tom Savini can be a very charming actor when he’s allowed to poke fun at his image.

That said, I have to admit that I have a weakness for low-budget, regional films. In this case, it helps that I’ve spent enough time in Oklahoma, as both a visitor and an occasional resident, that I felt like I could immediately recognize almost every location in the film. There’s a DIY-charm to the film, one that is evident in both the stiff but likable performances and the gore effects, which are occasionally effective and occasionally rather cheesy. (A decapitation scene manages to be both.) Savini, I should mention, did not work on the special effects. This is a silly, nonsensical horror film that runs about 20 minutes too long but it’s just such a product of its time and place (i.e., Oklahoma in the mid-80s) that it’s rather fascinating as a time capsule. I mean, this may be the only Jack the Ripper film to feature an aerobics montage. It doesn’t get more 80s than that!

Horror Novel Review: Aftershock by Robert W. Walker

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Dangerous work is being done at the Coppelmier Center For Disease Control. In an underground lab that sits beneath a major American city, three scientists are working on creating the ultimate biological weapon. That’s definitely not a good thing, especially when you consider that the city in question is Los Angeles and Los Angeles has a history of getting hit by earthquakes. You would think that Dr. Leo G. Coppelmier would have understood that building his underground bio weapon lab in a place known to randomly and violently shake was a bad idea. But Dr. Coppelmier is a wealthy genius and he wants to do things his way.

Of course, an earthquake does hit. And, of course, a really dangerous plague is set free. Soon, a horrifying creature with claws is killing people all over Los Angeles, removing their heads and their spinal columns and leaving the bodies in the sewers. (Yuck!) Could this be related to the earthquake and the mutated virus that was set free as a result? Of course it does …. but good luck getting the powers-to-be to admit it! The government would always rather cover up a problem than admit they played a role in creating it.

Reporter Bill Quinn is determined to discover and reveal the truth and he’s got two scientists and his best friend helping him out. But will he be able to track down and stop the killer before the plague is spread even further?

Published in 1987, Aftershock is a quick and pulpy read, one that feels like a gory throwback to the B-movies of the 50s and 60s, the ones in which some scientist would make the mistake of trying to play God and end up getting transformed into a fly or a member of the Alligator People. The subtext of those movies always seemed to be that it was dangerous to look for too many answers and that scientists should stop trying to change things just for the sake of changing them. The subtext of Aftershock is not quite as reactionary, instead it just suggests that it’s dangerous to build a bioweapon lab on the San Andreas fault and I agree with that. Aftershock is a violent and bloody tale that holds your attention and offers some genuinely frightening imagery. Reading it today, it’s hard not think about the fact that COVID undoubtedly escaped from a lab as well. After everything that we, as a society, have been through over the past four years, books about mad scientists and poorly-planned lab schemes hit a little bit differently nowadays.

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: Special Roy Ward Baker Edition

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Today’s director is Roy Ward Baker, one of the masters of Hammer and Amicus horror!

4 Shots From 4 Roy Ward Baker Films

Quatermass and the Pitt (1967, dir by Roy Ward Baker, DP: Arthur Grant)

The Vampire Lovers (1970, dir by Roy Ward Baker, DP: Moray Grant)

Scars of Dracula (1970, dir by Roy Ward Baker, DP: Moray Grant)

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974, dir by Roy Ward Baker, DP: John Wilcox and Roy Ford)

Horror Film Review: Cult Killer (dir by Jon Keeyes)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What a stupid movie!

Released earlier this year, Cult Killer stars Alice Eve as Cassie Holt, a former librarian who is now a private investigator in Ireland. Cassie has a tragic backstory, which we hear about from several people along with hearing about it from Cassie and then getting to see most of what we’ve already heard about in a series of flashbacks. Cassie was sexually abused by her grandfather, dropped out of university, learned Brazilian ju-jitsu, became an alcoholic, went to AA, and is now a private investigator.

Her mentor is Mikael Tallini (Antonio Banderas, looking embarrassed). When Mikael is murdered by a woman who pounces on him and then steps him to death, Cassie sets out to solve his murder and get revenge. She discovers that her sleepy Irish village is actually the home of a cult of sex abusers and Jamie Douglas (Shelley Hening) has been killing everyone who either abused or betrayed her, though Mikael apparently was just killed because he had been hired to find out what she was doing. Soon, Jamie is calling Cassie on the phone and telling her about all the details of her crimes, encouraging Cassie to help her while also acknowledging that Cassie will eventually have to arrest her or kill her or do something to avenge the death of her mentor at Jamie’s hands. “We not do different, you and I,” Jamie says without a hint of irony.

Antonio Banderas gets top-billing in Cult Killer and he’s prominently featured on the film’s poster. His character is killed off after the first ten minutes but he then reappears in flashbacks as Cassie remembers him training her and all the times that she told him about her tragic backstory. There’s a lot of flashbacks in Cult Killer and they don’t exactly show up at the most logical of moments. They’re rather randomly sprinkled throughout the film and often, there’s no real indication that we’ve entered flashback territory until Banderas shows up. I know and understand that it’s currently totally melvin to tell a story in chronological order. Everyone wants to be Christopher Nolan. But the thing is, Christopher Nolan is a genius. Most directors are not. The director of Cult Killer is not.

Along with the jumbled timeline, the other big problem with this film is that Shelley Hening’s performance as Jamie is absolutely atrocious. Some of it is the script, which forces all of its worst lines onto Jamie. But, beyond that, Hening plays Jamie as being a somewhat mischevious brat while the film needs her to be a charismatic maniac. Throwing a skull into a room and then calling Cassie to tell her that you just did some “Monster shit,” doesn’t make you into an intriguing anti-hero or a compelling villain. It just makes you into the equivalent of a pre-teen tossing eggs at the house of a hated teacher and then bragging about it the next day. Jamie’s relationship with Cassie never rings true and neither Eve nor Hening really seem to have much idea what’s going on with their characters either. It takes a lot of effort to make two sex abuse survivors come across as being incredibly annoying but this film manages to do it.

The film features Jamie targeting the members of a cult of wealthy sex abusers. That story had potential, especially when you consider that Epstein didn’t kill himself. But the film gets so bogged down in flashbacks that it never creates a proper feeling of paranoia or, for that matter, any narrative momentum. It all just feels rather pointless and confused, as if the film itself isn’t quite sure what it’s trying to say. The best film to be inspired by the crimes of Jeffrey Epstein remains The Scary of Sixty-First.

Horror Film Review: Dark Intruder (dir by Harvey Hart)

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1965 film, Dark Intruder, takes place in San Francisco in 1890.

Murders are being committed on the foggy streets of the city that was once known as Yerba Buena. Women are being stalked through allies and attacked by a caped figure who seems to thrive on the darkness. At each murder, a hideous statuette is left behind. The statuette seems to depict a winged demon emerging from the back of a man’s head. With each murder, the demon appears to be growing closer and closer to fully escaping from the man.

The police are baffled and the press is suggesting that London’s infamous Jack the Ripper has come to California. (Well, where else would he go? I kid, California, I kid! I love you, California. Well, I love some parts of California, at least.) As the police often due when they have a case with supernatural overtones, they turn to local socialite and bon vivant, Brett Kingsford (Leslie Nielsen).

Brett lives in a mansion, where he wakes up nearly every morning with a hangover. He enjoys life but he’s also found time to become an expert on the occult. He even has a giant plant in his library that perks up whenever there’s a paranormal presence nearby. Brett is engaged to Evelyn Lang (Judi Meredith), who speaks in an annoyingly high voice. When the police bring the statuettes to Brett, he takes them to a psychic named Chi Zeng for advice. Chi Zeng (played by Peter Brocco, who you may have guessed was not Chinese) reveals that the statuette represent a Sumerian demon that is inhabiting the body of a human. The demon has to commit seven murders so that it can freed from its host and then allowed to commit as many terrible acts as it wants.

Who is the demon possessing? Brett’s friend, Robert Vandenburg (Peter Mark Richman), fears that it could be him. Brett tries to assure Vandenburg that he has nothing to worry about but as Brett continues his investigation, he comes to realize that Vandenburg actually may have a lot to worry about….

Dark Intruder is a short film, clocking in at a little under an hour. It was originally developed as a pilot for a television series that would have featured Leslie Nielsen solving occult crimes on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, the series wasn’t picked up (it sounds like it would have been fun!) and Dark Intruder was given a theatrical release as part of a double feature with William Castle’s I Saw What You Did. It’s an effective little film, full of gothic atmosphere, misty streets, and a frightening (and clawed) villain. The murder that opens the scene seems as if it would have been quite graphic by the standards of 1966 television. Perhaps that’s why the pilot didn’t lead to a series.

Of course, for a lot of people, the main appeal here is Leslie Nielsen, playing one of his “serious” roles. Usually, it’s difficult to watch Nielsen’s dramatic work because it’s impossible not to be amused at his signature deadpan line delivery. But he’s actually very good in Dark Intruder. It helps that Brett Kingsford was written as being someone who had a sense of humor, as opposed to the stiff characters that Nielsen usually played in his dramatic roles. Nielsen appears to be having fun in the role, which is not something you can say about most of Nielsen’s dramatic work. Again, it’s a shame that Dark Intruder was apparently too ahead of its time for 1965.