Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix For Assault on Precinct 13!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix presents the original 1976 Assault on Precinct 13, from director John Carpenter!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Assault on Precinct 13 is available on Prime and Tubi!  See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.5 “Wally”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Dick Van Dyke has a puppet show.

Episode 3.15 “Wally”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 14th, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark’s latest assignment is Wally (Dick Van Dyke), a lovable old man who lives in a box in an alley, puts on a streetside puppet show, and goes out of his way to show kindness to everyone, from a dying boy to a woman who, like Wally, is an alcoholic trying to stay sober to the blind men who line the street and ask for help from people walking by.  Wally is destined to die, at which point he’ll become an angel.  The show suggests that Wally already is angel, having devoted his life to helping other.

Let’s see …. Dick Van Dyke as a saintly, homeless, recovering alcoholic who puts on a puppet show where the puppets discuss the difficulty of being poor in America.  Look, you all know how I usually feel about this stuff.  I usually take real issue with any film or television show that I find to be overly manipulative or heavy-handed.  I’ve also mentioned more than a few times that I think a lot of films and television shows tend to idealize homelessness, an instinct born from good intentions  but one that often ignores the very real reality and which is often counter-productive.  Too often, being homeless is treated in such a sentimental manner that it actually becomes a bit insulting.  Maybe, someday, someone should ask the people who live at the bus stop across the street from the Frank Cowley Courthouse how they feel about things.  Speaking as someone who once got called all sorts of names — and yes, one of them started with a C — because she refused an offer of a drink from a bottle in a brown paper bag while she waited for the bus to take her back to the DART train station after a day of jury duty, I could tell you a few things.  (Another person who could tell you a few things is a friend of mine in Florida who got evicted from his apartment and who spent a month alternating between living on the street and in a shelter.  He told me recently that the main thing he learned from the experience is that no one helps anyone.)  When you add that Wally was being played by Dick Van Dyke, a good actor but one who can go a little overboard when cast in a serious role, you can maybe understand what I was expecting from this episode.

And, to a certain extent, I was right.  This is Highway to Heaven.  It’s not subtle show and this was not a subtle episode.  This was an episode where everyone was so charmed by Dick Van Dyke and his puppets that they would happily let him into their homes to perform for sick children but no one was willing to help him get off the streets.  This was also an episode where Wally revealed that the money he did make all went to providing a home for someone else.  This is an episode where Wally’s kindness literally heals a dying child.  This episode was sentimental, heavy-handed, and a little preachy but it worked.  The show is just so earnest and Dick Van Dyke’s performance was just so heartfelt that it cast a spell that pretty much negated all cynicism for an hour.  (Despite my fears, Van Dyke did not go overboard as Wally, giving a performance that felt genuine and heartfelt.)  This was an episode that perhaps should not have worked but it did.  It worked wonderfully.

Song of the Day: East Bound and Down by Jerry Reed


Hey, it’s Hal Needham’s birthday.  What other song could we go with?

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
A-we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run

Keep your foot hard on the pedal
Son, never mind them brakes
Let it all hang out ’cause we got a run to make
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta
And there’s beer in Texarkana
And we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
A-we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
A-we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run

Ol’ Smokey’s got them ears on
He’s hot on your trail
And he aint gonna rest ’til you’re in jail
So you got to dodge ‘im and you got to duck ‘im
You got to keep that diesel truckin’
Just put that hammer down and give it hell

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
A-we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run

Writer(s): Jerry Hubbard Reed, Dick Feller

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Hal Needham Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we take a moment to remember the great director and stuntman, Hal Needham.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Hal Needham Films

Smokey and the Bandit (1977, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Bobby Byrne)

Hooper (1978, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Bobby Byrne)

The Cannonball Run (1981, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Michael Butler)

Rad (1986, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Richard Leiterman)

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.4 “Chasing Stads”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Bye bye, Stads!

Episode 2.4 “Chasing Stads”

(dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 30th, 1999)

After getting fired from her lifeguarding job after she follows Jason’s advice and complains about not getting promotion, Stads proceeds to accidentally burn down her apartment building when she used a faulty hair dryer.  We hear a news report that says it’s the worst “apartment building” fire in Malibu history so I’m going to guess that people died.

Stads should be going to jail on a manslaughter charge.  Instead, she hops on a plane and goes to Europe for a year.  This is the same Stads who, earlier in the show, was saying that she was flat broke.  Stads is gone and Jason is sad so he hops on a plane and joins here in Switzerland, where he gets a job working with her in a hotel.  I guess Jason’s gone now.  Yay!

Oh wait.  It turns out that Jason is dreaming of pursuing his musical career and to do that, he needs to return to Malibu because God knows it’s not like there are record companies in Europe.  Jason promises he’ll wait for Stads.  “I’m going to miss you.” Stads says.  Awww!

I, on the other hand, am not going to miss Stads because the show transformed her from being a fairly interesting character — a socially awkward lifeguard who was unlucky in love but totally capable of saving lives — into a fairly annoying killjoy whose main purpose was to roll her eyes and get mad at every single line of dialogue.  In the end, Stads represented the fact that the writers of this show had no idea how to write female characters.  In the world of Malibu CA, you could be a ditz or a …. well, I gave up cursing for Lent but you know what I’m saying.

Myself, I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of Jason suddenly showing up in Switzerland.  How did he pay for the trip?  How did he get over there so quickly?  Did he give his two-weeks at the restaurant?  Did he tell his dad or his brother?  Were they cool with him just moving to another country?  This episode certainly establishes that no one’s in high school any more so is their father okay with his two sons skipping college despite not really having any of the skills necessary to survive in the real world?  Seriously, this episode raised too many questions.

Meanwhile Lisa Jones tried to break Murray of his soap opera addiction.  It was pretty dumb.  Marquita Terry may have improved an actress since Malibu CA, I don’t know.  And let’s be honest …. it’s not like the show was really giving her great material work with.  That said, we are four episodes into the second season and her performance on the show is making Trevor Merszei and Jason Hayes look like Oscar winners.

Oy vey, this show.

Music Video of the Day: In Front Of The Alamo by Hal Ketchum (2007, dir by Glenn Sweitzer)


Today is Alamo Day.  It was 189 years ago, today, that 600 men gave their lives in the name of Texas.

This music video is about the Alamo so it seems appropriate for today!

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.11 “Sin-Sop”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters heads down south.  No complaints from me.  I like it when things head on down.

Episode 3.11 “Sin-Sop”

(Dir by P.J. Pesce, originally aired on December 9th, 1990)

In the deep South, a young man named Brother Roy (Christopher Shaw) claims that he can literally extract the sin from people, turning it into a black sludge that can then be disposed of.  Brother Roy has the corpse of the most evil man in the world in his house.  Touching the corpse (ew!) allows for the sin to be extracted.  (This is why I prefer going to confession.)

Laura Daniel (Christine Dunford) is a reporter who is hopeful that she’ll be able to expose Brother Roy as being a fraud.  Larch Lazaar (Richard Borg) is a sociopathic murderer who shows up at Roy’s place shortly after Laura.  Laura and Lazaar are both skeptics but they’re also both about to discover the reality of sin-sop.

This was an atmospheric episode with an intriguing premise.  I’m from the South and I’ve heard the stories of the so-called sin eaters, people who would go to the homes of the recently deceased and “eat” all of the dead person’s sins, usually by eating food that had been placed near the corpse.  The deceased’s family would get the peace of mind of knowing their loved one was now without sin and the sin-eater usually got to eat a fairly large meal.  (That said, I don’t know if I’d want to eat food that had been sitting next to or, in some cases, on a decaying corpse.)  This episode makes good use of the sin eater legend and it features appropriately theatrical performances from Richard Borg and Christopher Shaw.  This was an entertaining piece of Southern Gothic.

Rest In Peace, Peter Engel


I just read the news that Peter Engel passed away yesterday.  My Retro Television reviews started with four Engel-produced shows, California Dreams, One World, Hang Time, and City Guys.  Right now, I’m reviewing one of his later shows, Malibu CA.  I would be lying if I said all of those reviews have been positive.  I loved California Dreams and Hang Time won me over but the only good thing about Malibu CA is that it’s not Pacific Blue.

But here’s the thing.  Peter Engel, regardless of what I may think of some of his later shows. made pop cultural history with Saved By The Bell.  When I was a kid, you couldn’t turn on a TV without finding Saved By The Bell reruns playing somewhere.  (Myself, I only wish Saved By The Bell: The New Class was as easy to find.)  Today, Saved By The Bell has faded a bit from our collective memory, a relic from the childhoods of many elder millennials and their Gen-X siblings.  That reboot on Peacock was never quite as good as I used to tell myself it was.  But the original show can still be found on Prime, just as California Dreams and Hang Time can be found on YouTube.  The Engelverse will live forever.

Peter Engel, RIP.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.19 “New York, A.C./Live It Up/All’s Fair in Love and War”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you!

Episode 5.19 “New York, A.C./Live It Up/All’s Fair in Love and War”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 20th, 1982)

Poor Captain Stubing!  He’s just returned from burying an old friend named George and now, he’s thinking about his own mortality.  When he starts to feel unwell, Stubing goes to Dr. Bricker who tells Stubing that his problems are not physical.  The problem is that …. STUBING’S DEPRESSED!  Stubing decides to live each day to the fullest and good for him.  This was a simple storyline but I liked it.  I always appreciate the episodes that allow Stubing to be vulnerable without turning him into a hard-luck doofus.  In this episode, Stubing was dealing with something that almost everyone has either had to or will deal with at some point in their life.  It was also nice to see Doc Bricker giving good advice for once.  Bernie Kopell is so likable in the role that I always appreciate it when he gets to play Doc as being something other than a lech.

As for the other two stories …. agck!

Three New York friends (played by former teen idols Eddie Byrnes, Fabian, and Bobby Sherman) have boarded the cruise.  They are members of the Alimony Club.  They’re all divorced and they’ve all sworn that they’ll keep each other from marrying again.  They are a club that believes all marriages are doomed to failure.  But when Sherman’s ex-wife, Annette Funicello, boards the boat, it looks like the Alimony Club might lose a member.  And listen, I know that guys have their little rituals and their little clubs and that’s okay.  But the Alimony Club just feels weird.  It should be called the Misery Club because they seem to be more interested in keeping Bobby Sherman depressed than anything else.  I always find it odd when previously divorced couples get back together on The Love Boat.  I mean, did they forget why they got divorced in the first place?

Meanwhile, Jill St. John and Ron Ely have been having an affair for four years.  Every 12 months, they get together for a romantic getaway.  Ron says he can’t marry Jill because he’s married and has children back home.  (*cough* jerk *cough*)  Jill, who really could do better, insists that Ron leave his wife.  She even has her brother board the cruise and flirt with her (*cough*  Oh my Gosh, creepy! *cough*) to make Ron jealous.  Ron gets jealous, alright.  He beats up Jill’s brother and then reveals that he was lying about having a wife.  He’s not married …. he’s scared of commitment!  And now he’s ready to get married!  Uhmmm …. like seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?  (I gave up cursing for Lent.)  Jill — you were a BOND GIRL!  You were TIFFANY FREAKING CASE!  YOU CAN DO BETTER!

Oy vey, this episode.