Musical Film Review: Heartbeat (dir by John Nicolella)

Posted on April 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1987’s Heartbeat opens with Don Johnson in an unidentified Central American country.

Rebels are moving through the jungles. Helicopters are flying over villages and firing off missiles. In the middle of it all is Don Johnson, playing a character identified as being “The Documentary Filmmaker.” Johnson carries a large movie camera with him, recording all of the violence and the carnage. Is Johnson trying to expose the evils of the government? Is he trying to expose the rebels? Is he just an adrenaline junkie who can’t help but go to the most dangerous places in the world? I have no idea and I’m not sure that the film does either.

A bomb explodes. Johnson is thrown back. Soon, Don Johnson is being carried into a dark room on a stretcher. It appears that he might be dying but, even as his heartbeat is slowing down, his spirit is still hanging around and having flashbacks to the attack on the village, which we just saw less than a minute ago. Eventually, Johnson’s spirit has other flashbacks. He remembers talking to Paul Shaffer. He remembers his strained marriage to an unnamed woman played by Lori Singer. He remembers his youth as the son of a Las Vegas showgirl who is played by Sandahl Bergman. (Bergman also played a showgirl in Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz and her scenes in this film often feel as if they’ve been directly lifted from Fosse’s classic film.) David Carradine shows up as someone who might be Johnson’s father or who might just be some random guy rolling dice in the backroom of a strip club. Johnson remembers his friendship with a graffiti artist (Giancarlo Esposito), who has a sister (Angela Alvarado) who was a prostitute. The main message seems to be that the Documentary Filmmaker recorded the dangers of the world while also trying to remain emotionally detached, much like Robert Forster in Medium Cool. Now that he’s dying, he’s left to wonder whether he made the right choice in refusing to get personally involved.

Oh, and did I mention that this film is basically a 65-minute music video? Don Johnson sings through the entire movie, in a style that does its best to imitate the tough growl and soulful yearning of Southern rock and roll but which ultimately only serves to show that Johnson made the right decision in focusing on acting instead of singing?

After I came across this film on Lettrboxd and then watched it on YouTube, I did a bit of research (which is a fancy way of saying that I spent a minute reading a Wikipedia entry) and I discovered that, at the height of his Miami Vice success, Johnson released his debut country rock album, Heartbeat. Heartbeat the film was something that Johnson made in order to promote Heartbeat the album. Directed by frequent Miami Vice director John Nicollela, Heartbeat the film is so self-indulgent and determined to prove that Don Johnson is a soulful artist that it becomes oddly fascinating to watch. Johnson’s Documentary Filmmaker is a bit of a cad but the film seems to argue that 1) it’s not really his fault because women find him to be irresistible, 2) it’s really his mom’s fault for getting a job, and 3) it ultimately doesn’t matter because the Filmmaker is a great artist whose work will live on even after he dies. It’s a vanity film for a vanity album and it’s all so vain that it becomes hard to look away from.

In the end, both the music from the album and the promotional film leave one feeling that, in 1987, Don Johnson might have had an unreasonably high opinion of his musical abilities. That said, as anyone who has seen Cold In July can tell you, Don Johnson eventually did become a very good actor.

Mike Hammer: Murder Takes All (1989, directed by John Nicollela)

Posted on March 9, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Entertainer Johnny Roman (Ed Winter, best-known as the crazed Colonel Flagg on M*A*S*H) sends an invitation to New York P.I. Mike Hammer (Stacy Keach), asking him to come to Vegas for a job. Hammer refuses. Vegas is not for him. He’s pure New York. So, someone has Hammer abducted and thrown out of an airplane over Vegas. Luckily, they gave Hammer a parachute. Unluckily, for them, Hammer is now in Las Vegas and he’s pissed off.

Johnny, who says he had nothing to do with the kidnapping and just wants Hammer to help him deal with a singer who has been stealing from him, is killed by an explosive device while hosting a telethon. Everyone suspects Hammer. When the singer that Hammer was supposed to investigate also turns up dead, Hammer is again suspected. Hammer has to clear his name while dealing with guest stars ranging from Lynda Carter to Michelle Phillips to Jim Carrey.

Stacy Keach was Mike Hammer for most of the 80s, playing Mickey Spillane’s notorious detective in a television series and in several made-for-TV movies, like this one. Television was an awkward fit for Mike Hammer, or at least Hammer the way he was imagined in the books. Mike Hammer was written to be a killer with his own brand of justice. He was not written to be a nice person. Instead, he was the brutal but intelligent warrior that you hoped would be on your side. The television version of Mike Hammer was considered to be violent for the era but the show still toned down Hammer’s signature brutality. Keach’s Hammer still killed people but he no longer gloated about it. Stacy Keach, with his trademark intensity, was a good pick for Mike Hammer, even if the show’s scripts often let him down.

This movie is hamstrung by the fact that it was made-for-TV. Hammer is not happy about being in Las Vegas but he can’t go off on the city in the same way that he would have in one of Mickey Spillane’s novels. Keach still gives a good and tough performance as Hammer, getting as close to the character as anyone could under the restrictions of 80s network television. The mystery is interesting, though Hammer doesn’t really solve it as much as he just waits until all the other suspects have been killed. The main attraction of this one is the amount of guest stars who show up. Lynda Carter is a great femme fatale and it’s always good to see Michelle Phillips, even in a small role. Jim Carrey, in his pre-In Living Color days, plays an accountant and does okay with a serious role.

Who could play Mike Hammer today? It’s hard to say. There aren’t many believably tough actors around anymore and even those who do seem like they could hold their own in a fight don’t have the gritty world-weariness that the character requires. (Just try to imagine Dwayne Johnson reenacting the end of I, the Jury.) A few years ago, I would have said Frank Grillo. In the 90s, Bruce Willis would have been the perfect Hammer. Today, though, Mike Hammer’s time may finally have passed.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.15 “Duty and Honor”

Posted on January 27, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, another figure from Castillo’s past comes to Miami.

Episode 3.15 “Duty And Honor”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on February 6th, 1987)

There is apparently some controversy over what this episode should be called. When it originally aired in 1987, it was called The Savage, after the serial killer who is pursued by Castillo. When the episode later turned up in syndication, the title was changed to Duty and Honor, a reflection of the fact that the episode links back to Castillo’s (and, to a lesser extent, Crockett’s) service in Vietnam. Since the imdb has chosen to go with Duty and Honor, I’ve decided to do the same.

The episode opens in Saigon, in the early 70s. A clean-shaved Castillo (with a pony tail!) investigates the ritualistic murder of a prostitute. It’s one of several murders that have occurred over the past few days, with all of the victims being sex workers. Jump forward to Miami in the 80s and prostitutes are now once again being murdered. Castillo recognizes the M.O. and soon, Crockett and Tubbs are investigating the local VA. The doctor (Gary Basaraba) refuses to compromise the confidentiality of what his patients have told him but he does allow Crockett and Tubbs to speak to some of them. One of the patients talks about a mysterious man who was known as The Savage, who was used as an assassin by the CIA. The Savage was obsessed with killing and hated women because one violent encounter led to him getting castrated.

Tranh (Haing S. Ngor), who investigated the Saigon murders with Castillo, comes to Miami and shows Castillo that, whenever an enemy or critic of the United States has been assassinated overseas, it’s always coincided with a serial killer targeting prostitutes. Tranh believes The Savage has come to Miami to assassinate a South American activist who is in town to give a speech. Tranh and Castillo’s investigation leads them to the Savage’s CIA handler, Jack Colman (Brad Sullivan). Colman makes clear that he really doesn’t care what The Savage does on his own time.

And yes, The Savage (played by Michael Wright), is indeed in Miami and he is killing prostitutes. As played by Wright, The Savage is one of the most frightening villains to show up on Miami Vice. He’s a relentless and sadistic killer who has no control over his impulses. The CIA turned him into a weapon of war and now that the war is over, he no longer has a place in the real world. Instead, he’s a nightmare creature who exists to execute anyone who Colman considers to be a threat.

(Around the same time this episode aired, Michael Wright also played the high school gang lord in The Principal.)

Up until the final twist, this episode is Miami Vice at its best — dark, moody, thought-provoking, and morally ambiguous. After spending most of the season staring at the floor, Edward James Olmos finally gets to be the center of the action. Unfortunately, the film ends with Tranh revealing that he was actually a spy for North Vietnam and that he’s now a colonel in the Vietnamese army. He leaves Castillo a note, saying that he hopes they can still be friends and promote the type of peaceful world where nations will not create men like The Savage. And while I agree that the CIA should not be breeding assassins, I still have to say, what’s up with all the pro-commie crap this season, Miami Vice?

Anyway, other than that, this was a good episode. I should mention that Helena Bonham Carter briefly appears as Sonny’s new girlfriend. Apparently, she’ll be the center of next week’s episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the second season comes to a close with …. TRAGEDY!

Episode 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on May 9th, 1986)

The final episode of the second season Miami Vice opens with Crockett and Tubbs getting their cover blown for what seems like the 100th time. Seriously, has there every been an episode featuring these two going undercover in which their cover has not been blown? This time, they’re nearly executed by the drug dealers they were trying to arrest but, at the last minute, a sniper with a laser-guided sight shoots one of the dealers. In the confusion, Sonny and Tubbs are able to subdue most of the other dealers and disarm a booby trap that would have blown up Switek and Zito.

When Crockett mentions that they would have been dead if not for the sniper with the laser pointer, Switek says, “None of our guys have a laser.”

(Why not, Switek!? Are you guys trying to win the War on Drugs or not!?)

It turns out that the sniper worked for Angelina Medera (Phanie Napoli), the daughter of Calderone, the Colombian drug lord whose murder of Tubb’s brother led to Tubbs coming to Miami in the first place. Though she is still bitter over Crockett killing her father, Angelina has come to Miami to introduce Tubbs to his son, infant Ricardo, and to warn Tubbs that her half-brother, Orlando (John Leguizamo, in his first screen role), has put a contact out on his life.

Tubbs is a father! Tubbs is in love! Well, as Crockett could warn him, there’s nothing worse than being happy when you’re a member of the Vice Squad because it’s guaranteed that your happiness will be ripped away from you in the most violent way possible. Orlando comes to Miami and kidnaps Angelina and little Ricardo. With the help of a corrupt DEA agent named Harrison (J.C. Quinn), Orlando tries to set Tubbs up. Drawing Tubbs out to a pier where Angelina is bound in a car, Orlando plans to blow up his rival. Tubbs, being the star of the show, does manage to survive being near the car when it explodes. Angelina is not so lucky. Tragically, Tubbs believes that his son was in the car as well. (Actually, Orlando set little Ricardo back to Colombia.) At Angelina’s funeral, Tubbs receives a letter from Orlando. “I’ll be back!” it reads.

And so, season 2 ends!

The finale was a bit of a let down, largely because a good deal of the running time was devoted to flashbacks to remind us just who the Calerdones were in the first place. As well, John Leguizamo is not exactly the most intimidating of actors and his performance as Orlando was a bit stiff and awkward. (It makes sense when you consider that he was only 19 years old and making his debut on a hit television show. Anyone would be nervous.) Much like the Frank Zappa episode, it’s obvious that this episode was meant to launch a storyline that would be revisited in the future. While Leguizamo would return, it would appear that this episode is the only one to feature Tubbs’s son. So, I guess Tubbs will have to live the rest of his life thinking his childhood was blown up by a Colombian drug lord.

That’s dark!

That’s Miami Vice dark!

Despite the weak finale, I thought the second season of Miami Vice was a good one. There were a few weak episodes but, for the most part, it was a strong and stylish season and one that continued to explore just why exactly the War on Drugs proved to be unwinnable. Episodes like Out Where The Buses Don’t Run, Bushido, One Way Ticket, Little Miss Dangerous, and Trust Fund Pirates were all examples of Miami Vice at its cynical and surreal best.

Next week, we begin season 3 with a guest appearance by Liam Neeson!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.21 “Free Verse”

Posted on September 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Vice Squad gets a big assignment.

Episode 2.21 “Free Verse”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on April 4th, 1986)

The wheelchair-bound poet, Hector Sandoval (played by Byrne Piven), is coming to Miami so that he can testify before a Congressional committee about the human rights abuses that are occurring in his home country, abuses that Hector claims have been partially funded by American interests. Hector is a world-famous poet but his history as an outspoken political dissident has made him politically important as well. He’s been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Meanwhile, the right-wing death squads from his own country want him dead. Because Sandoval is equally critical of his country’s rebels, the left wants him dead as well. They feel he has more value as a martyr than as a living dissident.

With so many people trying to kill this important, world-famous person, his safety in America is the government’s top-most concern. So, naturally, the task of protecting Sandoval is assigned not to the FBI, the CIA, or the Secret Service. Instead, it’s given to the Miami Vice Squad. You read that correctly. A bunch of undercover cops are assigned to protect one of the most important men in the world. They meet him when he lands in the airport and their pictures are immediately taken by the horde of reporters waiting for Sandoval’s arrival. I guess everyone’s cover is blown now.

This is not a particularly interesting episode. Obviously, the show was looking to make a point about not only the political situation in Central America but also the role of the U.S. government in propping up various dictators and turning a blind eye to human rights abuses. That’s fine. Indeed, watching an episode like this today serves as a good reminder that Chavez and Maduro were hardly the first dictators to take power in South and Central America. But this episode gets so caught up in making its political points that it forgets to be interesting.

A huge part of the problem is that the members of the Vice Squad spend a lot of this episode in the background. The emphasis is on Hector Sandoval and his daughter, Bianca (Yamil Borges). Unfortunately, Byrne Piven goes so over-the-top as Sandoval that it’s impossible to take the character seriously. It’s a genuinely bad performance and it makes the episode a bit of a chore to sit through. (Admittedly, it is entertaining watching Edward James Olmos refuse to show a hint of emotion while Sandoval devours all of the scenery in their scenes together.)

For celebrity watchers, Bianca Jagger shows up as an assassin but she doesn’t really get to do much. Luis Guzman and future director Michael Bay play the imaginatively named “Goon #1” and “Goon #3.” Otherwise — and especially when compared to the episodes that came before it — this is a surprisingly forgettable episode of Miami Vice.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.17 “Florence Italy”

Posted on June 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Grand Prix comes to Miami!

Episode 2.17 “Florence Italy”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on February 14th, 1986)

An impromptu street race with a white Porsche leads to Crockett and Tubbs discovering the body of a young prostitute who was known as Florence Italy (Marilyn Romero). Their chief suspect is the owner of the Porsche, a racecar driver named Danny Tepper (Danny Sullivan). However, while Tubbs is convinced that Danny is guilty, Crockett is a bit less convinced. It soon becomes apparent that the murderer is either Danny or his father Frank (Stephen Joyce), a veteran racer who is scheduled to compete against his son in the up-and-coming Miami Grand Prix.

This was a bit of a throw-away episode. It was shot during the actual Grand Prix and, as a result, the emphasis is less on the mystery and more on the cars and the racing and cheering people in the stands. The majority of the racers (including Danny and Frank) are played by actual racers. Indeed, if not for the brutal murder that starts things off and a sensitively-handled scene where Sonny tries to talk to a racing groupie who has been the victim of abuse, this episode could pass for a infomercial about everything that’s fun about Miami. As it is, the mystery doesn’t amount to much. There’s only two suspects and Tubbs is so convinced that Danny is guilty that it’s obvious that the twist is going to be that he isn’t. That only leaves Frank.

On the plus side, the direction was stylish and neon-filled and the tragic Charles Rocket was entertaining in a small role as a sleazy race sponsor. (I had to laugh when Crockett decided that the best way to solve the murder would be to go undercover of Sonny Burnett, racing sponsor.) This episode did a good job of making Miami look like the ultimate playground, where even the prostitutes get to wear cute outfits and where Crockett might let a drug dealer go if he’s willingly eat his marijuana while Crockett and Tubbs watch. Tubbs is full of righteous fury in this episode but Crockett just goes with the flow.

This was a fairly nonessential episode but …. hey, I like fast cars.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.12 “Phil the Shill”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Vice Squad goes after Phil Collins!

Episode 2.11 “Phil the Shill”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on December 13th, 1985)

Switek and Zito call in sick so that they can go to the taping of a silly game show called Rat Race. While Zito sits in the audience, Switek answers trivia questions about Elvis and competes in an obstacle course race with his spacey opponent (Emo Phillips). Hosting the show is the very effusive and very British Phil Mayhew (Phil Collins).

As we already know, Switek knows everything about Elvis. And he’s in better shape than Emo Phillips so, when it comes time for the obstacle course, he reaches and hits his buzzer first. But Switek’s buzzer doesn’t go off. Emo’s buzzer works and Emo proceeds to robotically recite a complex string of Elvis trivia.

To his horror, Switek realizes that the quiz show was fixed!

Switek and Zito decide that they want to take down Phil and reveal his con artist ways. Unfortunately, for them, the rest of the Squad doesn’t care. Crockett, in particular, is annoyed that Switek pretended to be sick to get a night off of work. However, it then turns out that Phil has hooked up with Sarah MacPhail (Kyra Sedgwick), the girlfriend and business partner of Tony Rivers (Michael Margotta), a drug dealer that Crockett has spent months trying to set up.

It’s time to call in Izzy and have him pretend to be an interior decorator so that Phil can be tricked into throwing a party that can be attended by …. SONNY BURNETT AND RICO COOPER! Listen, I know I mention that a lot but I just can’t let it go …. how are Sonny and Rico able to maintain their undercover identities when they’re constantly arresting major drug dealers and taking part in DEA busts? How come it never occurs to the criminals that dealer Sonny Burnett might have something in common with cop Sonny Crockett? Does no one ever notice that Sonny Burnett drives the same car and wears the same white suit as Sonny Crockett?

This was a bit of an odd episode. It was obviously written so that Phil Collins (whose In The Air Tonight set the mood for the entire series) could play Phil Mayhew. And while Phil Collins does not appear to have been an actor of amazing range, he still does a good job as the weaselly Phil Mayhew. The Phil scenes are played for humor while the scenes with Tony Rivers definitely are not. Tony is a violent sociopath who casually kills several people over the course of the episode. Scenes of Switek pouting about the game show feel awkward when combined with scenes of Tony machine gunning two drug dealers. Collins does a good job within his range and Michael Margotta is an energetic villain. However, the best performance in this episode actually comes from Kyra Sedgwick, who does a great job as someone who eventually turns out to be just as ruthless and dangerous her boyfriend.

This is a fast-paced and energetic episode, one that moves quickly enough that the viewer doesn’t really have time to consider the oddness of Phil Mayhew getting involved with the same drug dealer that Crockett happens to be investigating. Personally, I’m always happy when the members of the supporting cast get to do something more than just stand in the background. Switek and Zito are a good team.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.10 “Bought and Paid For”

Posted on April 15, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get bleak.

Episode 2.9 “Bought For Paid For”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on November 29th, 1985)

This is a dark episode.

It opens with Gina’s friend, a Haitian immigrant named Odette (Lynn Whitfield), being attacked and raped in Gina’s apartment. The rapist is easily identified as Nico Arroyo (Joaquim de Almeida), the sociopathic son of a Bolivian general (Tomas Milian) who has been exiled to Miami after a failed coup attempt. Odette used to work as a maid in the general’s Art Deco mansion and Nico is obsessed with her.

Gina is able to convince Odette to testify against Nico but then the general brings Odette’s mother to America and offers her a good deal of money in return for Odette agreeing to testify that the encounter with Nico was consensual. Because her family is poor and desperately needs the money, Odette agrees. With the charges dropped, Nico goes to Odette’s home and kills her.

Gina goes to the general’s mansion and confronts Nico, knowing that it will lead to him trying to attack her in her apartment. When Nico shows up, he’s carrying a switchblade but he drops it as soon as he sees that Gina has a gun. Gina shoots him dead.

Watching this show, one gets the feeling that being a supporting player on Miami Vice could be a thankless task. Switek, Zito, Trudy, and Gina are in every episode but they rarely get to do much. This week Gina gets to have a moment and Saundra Santiago makes the most of it. This episode exists in the shadow of the first season’s Give A Little, Take A Little, in which Gina was raped by Burt Young and, at the end of the episode, shot him dead as well. At one point, when Sonny is arguing that Gina needs to accept that Odette is not going to press charges against Nico, Gina says that he knows why she can’t do that. Later, after Odette dies, Gina fears that, because of her own experience, she may have pushed Odette too hard. In the end, Gina shoots and kills an unarmed man, just as she did in Give A Little, Take A Little. It’s a ruthless move but both of the men were scum who totally deserved it. It’s hard not to appreciate the idea of Gina serving as Miami’s version of Ms. 45.

As I said at the start of this review, this is a dark episode. Nico’s father committed war crimes in Bolivia but now he’s remade himself as a respectable member of Miami society. Nico and his father live in a fabulous mansion and Nico spends his day lounging by the pool. Meanwhile, Odette struggles day-to-day and is essentially sold out by her own mother. (One of the things that gives Nico away as the rapist is the fact that Sonny recognizes the smell of his extremely expensive — and apparently rather pungent — cologne on Odette’s clothes.) Nico feels that he can do whatever he wants to Odette because he’s rich and she’s “bought and paid for.” The system fails and Gina is forced to put her life at risk to get some sort of justice for Odette. This is Miami Vice at its bleakest. The world under all of the glitz and glamour is a dark one.

There is one funny moment though. Gina and Sonny go out to a club with Tubbs and Odette. Sonny watches Tubbs dance with Odette and he starts laughing. And he simply can’t stop. It feels like such a spontaneous moment that I have to wonder if it was scripted or if Don Johnson really did think Philip Michael Thomas was just a terrible dancer.

Next week, a figure from Crockett’s past resurfaces in Miami. Maybe Castillo can give him so advice on how to deal with that.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.3 “Whatever Works”

Posted on February 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we learn how Sonny affords all of those wonderful toys.

Episode 2.3 “Whatever Works”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on October 4th, 1985)

Have you ever wondered how Sonny Crockett afford that nice Ferrari on just a cop’s salary? To be honest, it hadn’t really occurred to me. I just assumed that everyone in the 80s owned a Ferrari. I’ve been more concerned with how Sonny manages to maintain his undercover identity despite the fact that he spends almost all of his time hanging out with his fellow cops. I mean, surely, someone in the Miami underworld has noticed that “Sonny Burnett” sure does seem to have a lot of friends who worked Vice.

Regardless, in this episode, we learn that Sonny doesn’t actually own the Ferrari. Instead, it’s a vehicle that the department loans to Sonny so that he can maintain his cover. Apparently, the Ferrari once belonged to an actual drug dealer. Unfortunately, the Miami Police Department desperately needs to make some money at their next police auction so Maxwell Dierks (Robert Trebor), a weaselly bureaucrat, decides to repossess Sonny’s Ferrari and auction it off.

Sonny spends most of this episode obsessing on his car. While the rest of the Vice Squad laughs at Sonny’s misfortune, local informant Izzy Moreno tries to trick Dierks into giving him the car so that he can return it to Sonny. I hope Sonny appreciates who his true friends are. Anyway, Castillo eventually pulls some strings to save Sonny’s car. Maybe Sonny should have gone to him in the first place but, then again, Castillo is kind of intimidating. He literally never smiles.

While Sonny is obsessing on his car, someone is killing cops and leaving behind Santeria charms. Despite having grown up in Florida and being a veteran vice detective, it appears that Sonny has never before heard of Santeria. However, Castillo and Tubbs know all about it. Castillo is even friends with a Santeria priestess (Eartha Kitt) who explains that the killers did not view the cops as being policemen but instead as being fellow criminals.

It turns out that there’s a group of cops who have been shaking down drug dealers and now, they’re being killed one-by-one. For all the talk of Santeria, the solution to the problem is actually pretty straight forward. The Vice squad tracks down the people doing the killing and, after a shoot-out, the bad guys surrender. And that’s the end of that.

Oh, this episode. It had potential but it just fell flat. The Santeria stuff felt tacked on and it was pretty obvious that the episode’s writers were more interested in Sonny trying to get his car back than in the episode’s main storyline. Even the Eartha Kitt cameo felt a bit perfunctory.

On the plus side, this episode did feature a band singing Bang A Gong in the middle of a bar fight. That was pretty cool. The band was called Power Station and apparently, it was an off-shoot of Duran Duran. What’s interesting is that the members of the band are portrayed as being old friends of Sonny, to the extent that they applaud him as he beats up a bad cop. It brings a real “The name is Dalton” energy to the scene.

This week’s episode was a bit disappointing but next week’s episode is apparently a classic. I look forward to watching and reviewing Out Where The Buses Don’t Run.

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.22 “Lombard”

Posted on February 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 21st episode of Miami Vice is Evan. It’s regularly listed as being one of the best episodes of the show and it’s not available to stream online. Apparently, this is due to someone referring to another character as being a “faggot.” Yes, it’s a dirty word but I’m an adult and I do think that I could handle hearing the word and figuring out the context of why it was used. Censorship sucks so shame on Prime, Tubi, NBC, and everyone else who is involved in not streaming Evan.

With Evan not available to be viewed, I moved on to the first season finale.

Episode 1.22 “Lombard”

(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on May 10th, 1985)

The first season of Miami Vice comes to an end with a rather simple story. Lombard (Dennis Farina) is a crime lord, a first-generation Italian-American whose father lived an honest life and who died poor as a result. Lombard did what he had to do to get ahead and, as a result, he’s now a very rich man who lives on a boat.

He’s also being targeted by both rival gangsters and the law. When Lombard agrees to testify against the Mafia in return for immunity, Crockett and Tubbs are assigned to babysit him until the trial. Crockett and Tubbs are both weary of Lombard but Lombard turns out to be a charming guy with a sense of ethics. He cooks them a big Italian dinner. He entertain them with stories. Crockett and Tubbs start to like the guy, even if guarding him means that they get involved in a few mob shootouts.

However, when it comes time to testify, Lombard refuses. Under the immunity deal, he’s no longer qualified to plead the fifth but Lombard does just that. Repeatedly, he pleads the fifth and, as a result, he gets enough contempt citations that he’s probably looking at least a decade in jail, regardless of the fact that he didn’t admit to any of the major crimes that he committed.

Sonny and Tubbs are impressed. Lombard may be a criminal but he has a sense of honor. He doesn’t snitch. He’s not a rat. Of course, that doesn’t make a difference to the criminals who apparently gun him down in the episode’s final ambiguous freeze frame.

The story was simple and, to be honest, it wasn’t anything that Miami Vice hadn’t already done. But the episode works, because of Dennis Farina’s charismatic performance as Lombard and John Nicolella’s stylish and moody direction. The first season of Miami Vice ends much as it began, with ambiguity and defeat. Lombard scores a moral victory but is gunned down minutes afterwards. Crockett and Tubbs keep Lombard alive just long enough for him to double-cross the authorities. In the end, the ruthless gangster turns out to have more honor than the people prosecuting him and Crockett and Tubbs are again forced to consider that there’s not a lot of difference between them and the people that they’re chasing.

Next week …. it’s time for Season 2!