Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.6 “Sandman”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicyclists continue to get in everyone’s way.

Episode 3.6 “Sandman”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on Sept. 21st, 1997)

A hitman named Robert “Sandman” Enright (John Michael Bolger) has been released from prison.  Because Enright was previously arrested by TC, TC decides to start harassing him as soon as he gets out of jail.  For a bunch of dorks on bikes, the Pacific Blue folks sure do enjoy abusing their power.

Anyway, Sandman is out for revenge against the three men who framed him.  And, since TC is tailing him everywhere, Sandman is able to manipulate TC into basically becoming his bodyguard.  The main theme of this episode is that TC is an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, Cory’s boyfriend, FBI Agent Tim Stone (David Lee Smith), confessed that he was thinking of getting back together with his ex.  With Chris’s support, Cory fought for her man.  Myself, I just struggled with the fact that Stone, TC, Palermo — and their actors, Smith, Jim Davidson, and Rick Rossovich — all basically looked like the same guy at different stages of his life.

Finally, Palermo, TC, and Victor played volleyball!  That was at the end of the episode and it went on for a while.  The whole scene felt like the show’s way of saying, “Hey, remember when Rick Rossovich was in Top Gun?  That was cool.”

As usual, this episode featured a lot of tough talk and intense looks, all of which were negated by the presence of grown-ups on bicycles.  Even when TC was spying on the Sandman, he did while sitting on his bicycle.  It just looked dumb.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.15 “Black Pearl”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle mayhem continues.

Episode 2.15 “Black Pearl”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on January 5th, 1997)

TC arrests a woman named Alana (Angela Shelton) on drug and assault charges, just to discover that she’s an undercover DEA agent.  TC fears that Alana is in over her head and he tells Alana’s superior, Enright (John Michael Bolger) that he needs to pull her out of the operation.  Enright is like, “Whatever, bicycle boy.”

And, to be honest, I think Enright kind of has a point.  Why are the bicycle cops always trying to tell other law enforcement agencies what to do?  Every episode, either TC or Palermo and Chris gets a really angry look in their eyes and starts barking out orders at people they barely know.  It’s bad enough that they ride bicycles.  Do they have to act like a bunch of self-righteous pricks as well?

Speaking of bicycles, Victor has to get recertified to be a bike cop.  Uh-oh, sounds like Victor could lose his job!  Even worse, Victor’s partner in this episode is Chris so not only is Victor in danger of getting fired but he has to spend an entire week listening to Chris put him down.  Seriously, there are few characters in the history of television that I dislike as much as I dislike Chris Kelly.  Chris is the type who dismisses everyone’s problems before then launching into her hundredth monologue about how much it sucks going from being an Air Force pilot to a bike cop.

Victor trains with Hans Rhey.  In this episode, everyone is like, “Oh my God, Hans Rey!”  I had no idea who Hans Rey was.  I looked him up after this episode and apparently, he was a superstar on the bicycle circuit.  Hans does a lot of clunky bike tricks  As was so often the case withe professional athletes who played themselves on shows like this, he wasn’t much of an actor.  If anything, this episode reminded me of how stupid most people look riding their bicycles in the middle of the street.

Victor gets recertified.  Alana ends up dead.  Presumably, TC’s upset but since the actor playing him was only capable of one fascial expression, it can be hard to tell.  In the end, the real tragedy remains how dorky everyone looks on the bicycles.

Film Review: Public Enemies (dir by Michael Mann)


2009’s Public Enemies is a portrait of the battle for the soul and imagination of America.

The films take place during the Great Depression.  With Americans struggling to pay their bills and many citizens out-of-work and feeling desperate, a new breed of folk hero has emerged.  Men like my distant relative Pretty Boy Floyd (Channing Tatum) and Alvin Karpis (Giovanni Ribisi) may be criminals who make their living by robbing banks but, to a nation of angry people who feel like they’ve been forgotten by the government and betrayed by the wealthy, they’re rebels who are challenging the system.  They are viewed as being modern-day Robin Hoods, even though very few of them actually bother to give the money that they steal back to the poor.

John Dillinger (Johnny Depp) is perhaps the most famous of the criminals who have been declared a “public enemy” by the FBI.  The handsome and charismatic Dillinger becomes almost a living legend, the man who cannot be captured by law enforcement.  He becomes a folk hero but with the twist that his own death seems inevitable.  Dillinger lives by his own set of rules and the press loves him even as they hungrily anticipate his violent end.

Pursuing Dillinger and the other so-called public enemies is a young FBI agent named Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale).  Purvis’s job is not only to capture or eliminate men like Dillinger.  It’s also to somehow figure out a way to replace them in the public’s imagination.  Through the use of what was then-considered to be revolutionary techniques (like fingerprinting and phone taps), Purvis tracks down one public enemy after another and soon, he’s becoming as much of a folk hero as the people that he’s pursuing.  If Dillinger and his cohorts represent the ultimate rebellion against an ineffectual system, Purvis and his success suggest that maybe the system actually can get something accomplished.  Unfortunately, for Purvis, he not only has to deal with the challenge of capturing Dillinger but also with the growing jealousy of his publicity-hungry boss, J. Edgar Hoover (Billy Crudup).  As is typical of the heroes of Michael Mann’s film, Dillinger and Purvis may be on different sides of the law but they have more in common than they realize.  Neither one can trust the people that they’re working with.

I remember that I was really excited about Public Enemies when it was first released in 2009.  I’m fascinated by the Depression-era outlaws and Dillinger’s story is certainly an interesting one.  (I’ve always enjoyed the theory that Dillinger faked his death, even though I don’t believe it for a second.)  Michael Mann seemed like the perfect director for the material and Johnny Depp seemed like ideal casting.  I have to admit that I was a little bit disappointed in the film itself, which was poorly paced and stuck so closely to the facts of the case that it led me to realize that Dillinger will always be more interesting as a legend than an actual person.  (I’ll concede that was probably the film’s point.)  There were moments of brilliance in the film.  The scene where Dillinger escaped from custody was wonderfully done.  Stephen Graham’s unhinged performance as Baby Face Nelson was excellent.  Johnny Depp had the right look for Dillinger but I have to admit that I found myself a little bit bored with Christian Bale’s Melvin Purvis.

Looking back today, though, the film feels almost prophetic.  That may seem like an odd thing to say about a film set in the past but Public Enemies portrait of an America caught between celebrating the rule of law and the excitement of rebellion feels very relevant to what’s happening today.  In retrospect, Public Enemies is a portrait of the contradiction at the heart of America, a country with a culture of both rebellion and loyal patriotism.  Public Enemies portrays a battle the continues to this day.

Public Enemies (2009, dir by Michael Mann, DP: Dante Spinotti)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.22 “The Gift”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist star as two criminals who discover that they have an unexpected visitor in the basement of their cabin.

Episode 2.22 “The Gift”

(Dir by Jeffrey Wolf, originally aired on May 20th, 1990)

Two low-life criminals, Sid (Abe Vigoda) and his protege, Kirby (Brad Greenquist), show up at a cabin in the mountains.  They have a rich kid named Jeffrey (Zach Overton) with them.  They’ve kidnapped Jeffrey from his exclusive private school and they are planning to hold him until they get paid several million dollars.

Wanting to keep the kid comfortable, Sid tells Kirby to look in the basement for blankets.  Kirby doesn’t find any blankets but he does a find a mysterious wolfman.  Kirby shoots the wolfman twice but the wolfman survives.  Kirby then chains up both Jeffrey and the Wolfman in the basement.  Kirby thinks that it might be a good idea to forget about the whole kidnapping scheme but Sid is determined to get the money.

In the basement, Jeffrey discovers that the Wolfman can communicate with him through telepathy.  The Wolfman introduces himself as being William (physically played by Carlos Lauchu, with a voice provided by John Michael Bolger).  William explains that he’s not a monster.  Instead, he’s just a man who, centuries ago, was granted magical abilities by an old traveler.  Now, William is over 200 years old.  He’s nearly immortal but he’s also lonely.  Jeffrey is the first person who has been willing to listen to William in a long time.

Jeffrey and William bonding in the basement is undeniably sweet but Sid and Kirby are still holding Jeffrey hostage and, as time passes, it becomes obvious that they’re planning on killing both Jeffrey and his new friend.  William explains that there is a way that he can ensure that Jeffrey will survive and that he’ll be able to defeat both Sid and Kirby.  But it will involve Jeffrey making a huge sacrifice of his own….

This episode was fairly dull.  When it started, I was hoping that the show would at least do a Ransom of Red Chief sort of thing and have Jeffrey turn out to be such a brat that absolutely no one would be willing to pay a cent to get him back.  I think that would have been more interesting than what we ended up with, an episode in which Jeffrey awkwardly bonded with a werewolf who could only communicate through telepathy because moving his mouth probably would have made the actor’s mask look even cheaper than it already did.  Abe Vigoda and Brad Greenquist were well-cast as the two criminals.  Vigoda, in particular, did a good job of portraying Sid’s outwardly calm but still ruthless demeanor.  Otherwise, this was a fairly dull episode that didn’t really do much with its potentially intriguing premise.