Horror Film Review: Willy’s Wonderland (dir by Kevin Lewis)


2021’s Willy’s Wonderland takes place in an dilapidated restaurant.

Back in the day, Willy’s Wonderland was the ideal place to go if you were young and celebrating your birthday.  The animatronic mascots would sing “Happy birthday” and maybe meet your parents.  Willy Weasel, Arty Alligator, Cammy Chameleon, Ozzie Ostrich, Tito Turtle, Knighty Knight, Gus Gorilla, and Siren Sara promised fun and cheesy entertainment to anyone looking for a nice family meal!

Unfortunately, people stopped going to Willy’s once it was discovered that the owner was a serial killer.  Jerry Robert Willis (Grant Cramer) and his seven friends were cannibals who regularly sacrificed families.  Eventually, the police caught up to him but, even under new ownership, no one wanted to eat at Willy’s.  There were rumors that Willis and his friends had transferred their souls into the animatronic figures but surely, that could not have been true!

Right?

Nicolas Cage plays a man with no name.  When his car breaks down, the local mechanic agrees to fix the car if the man agrees to spend the night as the janitor at Willy’s.  Apparently, it’s been a struggle to keep a night janitor at the place.  People find the location to be creepy and, of course, the animatronic mascots keep killing anyone dumb enough to try to mop the floors.  Cage’s man with no name silently agrees.  Everything that Cage does, he does without a word.  This is one of the rare films where Nicolas Cage, usually a champion talker, says absolutely nothing.

Now, I should mention that there actually is a plot to Willy’s Wonderland.  Liv (Emily Tosta) and her friends are trying to burn the place down because, years ago, Liv’s parents were murdered by the mascots.  Unfortunately, Liv and her friends aren’t that smart and they end up trapped in Willy’s Wonderland.  The majority of them quickly fall victim to the mascots.  The deaths are appropriately gruesome, though tinged with the dark humor that would come from essentially being killed by a knock-off version of Chuck E. Cheese.

But really, the plot isn’t important.  This film is entirely about Nicolas Cage, playing a man with no name.  Cage takes the janitorial job and, over the course of the night, he battles the mascots.  At the same time, he also makes it a point to continue to do his job.  Besieged or not, he agreed to clean the place up.  He takes his breaks and plays pinball exactly as scheduled, even if that means abandoning Liv and her friends.  Normally, you might think that this would be bad behavior on the part of Cage’s character.  Abandoning someone in the middle of a battle is not usually encouraged.  But Liv and her friends are very annoying.  Cage is ultimately the hero by default.  Yes, he’s fighting and killing the mascots but he’s really only doing it because they’re getting in his way while he’s trying to do his job.  The fact that he helps out Liv is largely coincidental.

Willy’s Wonderland proves that Cage doesn’t need a lot of lines to be the center of a film.  Even without speaking, he’s such a wonderfully eccentric presence that you can’t help but watch him and cheer him on.  Admittedly, Willy’s Wonderland is never that scary, though the “Happy Birthday” song is definitely creepy.  The mascots are a bit too cartoonish to be truly frightening.  But, if the film doesn’t really work as a horror film, it does work as an adrenaline-fueled Cage match.  And that’s nearly as good.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Raptor (dir by Jim Wynorski)


In 2001’s Raptor, Eric Roberts stars as Jim Tanner, the sheriff of a small desert town.  When the locals start turning up all shredded to heck, Sheriff Tanner suspects that maybe it was an animal attack.  When the sheriff’s daughter (Lorissa McComas) witnesses one of the attacks and goes into a coma as a result, Tanner is determined to get justice, even if it means working with his ex-girlfriend, Barbara (Melissa Brasselle).

It turns out that it’s neither coyotes nor bears that are attacking the folks in the desert.  Instead, it’s a bunch of dinosaurs that have been brought back into existence by Dr. Hyde (Corbin Bernsen, wearing a beret), a mad scientist who has a laboratory in a secret government installation.  When the army realizes that there’s a bunch of mini-dinosaurs roaming the desert, they send in a special taskforce to take care of the problem.

It’s a pretty simple movie and no one in the cast, Roberts included, really seems to be taking it all that seriously.  There a few scenes where Corbin Bernsen looks like he’s about to break out laughing at some of his dialogue.  Director Jim Wynorski keeps the action moving and tosses in plenty of blood and a little nudity.  If you’ve ever seen any of the other films that Wynorski directed for producer Roger Corman, you’ll know what to expect from Raptor.

The dinosaurs are cute.  They’re all obviously puppets and there’s a lot of scenes of them moving quickly through the desert with an intense look in their eyes.  Apparently, almost all of the dinosaur footage was lifted from the first three Carnosaur films, which perhaps explains why the film suddenly goes from being about Sheriff Tanner trying to protect his town from the dinosaurs to being about a bunch of soldiers hunting for the dinosaurs in Dr. Hyde’s underground lab.  It’s cheap but it’s kind of fun, a timewaster that no one should take seriously.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Blood Red (1989)
  4. The Ambulance (1990)
  5. The Lost Capone (1990)
  6. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  7. Voyage (1993)
  8. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  9. Sensation (1994)
  10. Dark Angel (1996)
  11. Doctor Who (1996)
  12. Most Wanted (1997)
  13. Mercy Streets (2000)
  14. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  15. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  16. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  17. Hey You (2006)
  18. Amazing Racer (2009)
  19. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  20. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  21. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  22. The Expendables (2010) 
  23. Sharktopus (2010)
  24. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  25. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  26. Deadline (2012)
  27. The Mark (2012)
  28. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  29. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  30. Lovelace (2013)
  31. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  32. Self-Storage (2013)
  33. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  34. This Is Our Time (2013)
  35. Inherent Vice (2014)
  36. Road to the Open (2014)
  37. Rumors of War (2014)
  38. Amityville Death House (2015)
  39. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  40. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  41. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  42. Enemy Within (2016)
  43. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  44. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  45. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  46. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  47. Dark Image (2017)
  48. Black Wake (2018)
  49. Frank and Ava (2018)
  50. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  51. Clinton Island (2019)
  52. Monster Island (2019)
  53. The Reliant (2019)
  54. The Savant (2019)
  55. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  56. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  57. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  58. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  59. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  60. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  61. Top Gunner (2020)
  62. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  63. The Elevator (2021)
  64. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  65. Killer Advice (2021)
  66. Night Night (2021)
  67. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  68. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  69. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  70. Bleach (2022)
  71. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  72. Aftermath (2024)
  73. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  74. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  75. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

Embracing the Melodrama Part II #66: Desperate Lives (dir by Robert Michael Lewis)


DL-cov2YouTube, my old friend, you have failed me.

For the longest time, the 1982 anti-drug melodrama Desperate Lives has been available for viewing on YouTube.  I first watched it two years ago, after I read an online article about a scene in which a teenage Helen Hunt takes PCP and jumps through a window.  And, when I watched it, I was stunned.  I knew that the film was going to be over-the-top and silly, largely because it’s hard to imagine how a film featuring a teenage Helen Hunt taking PCP could be anything other than that.  But, even with my experience of watching over the top message movies, nothing could have quite prepared me for Desperate Lives.

So, I figured, for this review, that I’d say a few snarky words about Desperate Lives and then I’d just add something like, “And you can watch it below!”  And then I would embed the entire movie and all of y’all could just click on play and watch a movie on the Lens.

Unfortunately, Desperate Lives has been taken off of YouTube.  I assume the upload violated some sort of copyright thing.  And really, it’s kinda stupid because seriously, Desperate Lives is one of those films that really deserves to be seen for free on YouTube.

Oh well.  You can still watch a video of Helen Hunt jumping through that window.  The video below also features some additional elements from Desperate Lives.

For instance, you get to see Diana Scarwid playing the angriest high school guidance counselor in the world.  Scarwid knows that students like Helen Hunt are using drugs and that her fellow faculty members are turning a blind eye to everything’s that’s happening.  From the minute she first appears on screen, Scarwid is shouting at someone and she doesn’t stop screaming until the film ends.

And you also get to see Doug McKeon, playing Helen Hunt’s brother.  McKeon goes for a drive with his girlfriend, who has just taken PCP herself.  As their car goes flying off a mountain, she says, “Wheeee!”

In the video below, you also get to see that the only reason Helen Hunt used drugs was because her boyfriend begged her to.  That’s a scenario that seems to show up in a lot of high school drug films and it’s strange because it’s something that I’ve never actually seen happen or heard about happening in real life.  In fact, in real life, most users of hard drugs are actually very happy to not share their supply.

Unfortunately, the video below does not feature any scenes of Sam Bottoms as the world’s most charming drug dealer and that’s a shame because he gives the only good performance in the entire film (sorry, Helen!).

Even worse, the video doesn’t include any scenes from the film’s memorably insane conclusion, in which Scarwid searches every single locker in the school and then interrupts a pep rally so she can set everyone’s stash on fire in the middle of the gym.  Making it even better is that all the students are so moved by Scarwid’s final speech that they start tossing all of the drugs that they have on them into the fire.

Which means that the film essentially ends with the entire school getting high off of a huge marijuana bonfire.

No, that scene cannot be found in the video below.  But you can find Helen Hunt jumping through a window so enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEpyLzHeozY