Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/3/24 — 11/9/24

Posted on November 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2024 U.S. Presidential Election Coverage (Tuesday and Wednesday)

On Tuesday, I swore to myself that I was going to vote and then we were going to go up to the lake and my plan was to basically stay off the grid until Friday. I wasn’t even going to think about the election. That did not last. As much as I tried to avoid the news, I still saw a few updates on twitter and soon, I was switching back and forth from Fox to CNN to MSNBC and then to all the other news stations.

To be honest, I kind of suspected Donald Trump was going to win after Kamala Harris picked Tim Walz for her vice president. The week leading up the election, however, I started to think that Harris was probably going to win. I started remembering how 2022 seemed like it was going to be a big year for Republicans, just for the Red Wave to fizzle on election night. I thought about how polls have never accurately reflected either Trump’s support or how Dobbs turned a lot of people into one-issue voters. I thought Harris would sweep Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin and win the election. It turns out that I was wrong about most of that!

This was the third presidential election in a row where I swore to myself that I wouldn’t think about it after I voted, just to later find myself then obsessively watching as the results came in.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (FX, Tuesday Night)

The ninth episode focused on how the women who knew Aaron Hernandez dealt with him being arrest for murder. And to that, I can only say, “Who cares?” After nine hours of this show, the only lesson that I’ve learned is that Aaron Hernandez was a tremendous dumbass and the same can be said of the majority of the people around him.

I was super-excited because I thought this week’s episode was the series’ finale. It turns out that there’s one more episode to go. Next week, this show will finally wrap up and I won’t have to complain about it anymore.

Bar Rescue (Paramount, Weekday Mornings)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer turned a failing Irish bar into a failing western saloon. It wasn’t as much fun as the Pirate Bar episode.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode of Check It Out! will be posted in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (YouTube)

On Tuesday, I took a break from the election coverage and rewatched my two favorite episodes of Dragnet, the talk show episode and the night school episode.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Good Times (Get TV, Weekday Afternoons)

I watched two episodes of this 70s sitcom on Monday afternoon. Carl, a grumpy old man, discovered that he had cancer and he left Chicago for Arizona so that he could deal with it. The most memorable moment of the two episodes came when Carl told Florida that he felt they should break up. “Oh my God!” someone in the studio audience shouted.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

Just as happened last week, the Blue Team triumphed and the Red Team crashed and burned. I’m enjoying this season. I like the fact that they’re all strong chefs. At this point, I feel like anyone could win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

I wrote about Homicide here!

King of the Hill (FXX, Weekday Morning)

Before I left to vote on Tuesday, I watched four episodes of King of the Hill. What a great show, that was. To be honest, the fact that King of the Hill was canceled but Family Guy is still in production is all the evidence you need about the decline of American culture. As for the episodes I watched, my favorite was the one where Luanne became a boxer and George Foreman appeared as himself. “Novelty grill!?”

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I watched The Love Boat on Tuesday night, while sitting outside on the deck of my family’s lakehouse. That’s the best way to watch anything! I wrote about The Love Boat here.

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I wrote about Malibu, CA here!

The Megyn Kelly Show (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched the post-election episode of the Megyn Kelly Show. Whether you love her, hate her, or if you’re indifferent to her (as I often am), it was hard not to agree with her post-mortem on the election and the Harris campaign.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode of this old 80s music video program on Friday night. The music was good.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I can’t believe I paid money to watch this episode. You can read my review here.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.17 “The Mephisto Ring”

Posted on November 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Micki and Ryan search for a cursed World Series ring.

Episode 2.17 “The Mephisto Ring”

(Dir by Bruce Pittman, originally aired on April 10th, 1989)

In 1982, a gambler is shot and killed by an unknown assailant.

Seven years later, that gambler’s son, Donald Wren (Denis Forest), has developed a problem of his own. Despite his mother (Doris Petrie) begging him not to follow in his father’s footsteps, Donald has become a compulsive gambler. Unfortunately, Donald is not particularly talented at picking winners and, as a result, he’s deep in debt with the mob. Donald has dangerous men after him who want to know where their money is. However, when Donald discovers his father’s ring, things start to change for him.

The ring is a 1919 World Series ring and, as you probably already guessed, it’s cursed. All Donald has to do is put the ring on someone else’s finger and, after the ring kills that person, Donald will receive a vision of how a sporting event is going to end. Donald discovers who is going to win a basketball game, a horserace, and a UFC match. As Donald continues to use the ring, he starts to lose his mind. Friday the 13th has always felt like a show that’s actually about drug addiction, with the cursed objects not only killing people but also corrupting the minds of the people who own them. Donald goes from being a wimp to being someone who laughs maniacally while watching gangsters violently die.

With Jack away, it falls to Micki and Ryan to retrieve the ring. Donald’s mother wants him to give up the ring because she saw what it did to his father. But Donald refuses to surrender the ring, even when his use of it eventually leads to evil gangster Anthony Macklin (James Purcell) abducting his mother. Donald is able to convince Macklin to wear the ring. Macklin is promptly killed but, when Donald still refuses to give up the ring, his mother ends up shooting Donald in the head. As she explains to Micki and Ryan, she had to do the same thing to Donald’s father. After putting the ring in the vault, Micki and Ryan agree to keep the mother’s history of murder a secret.

This was an okay episode. The most interesting thing about it was that Micki and Ryan, even while they were searching for the ring, were pretty much bystanders to the drama involving Donald, his mother, and the gangsters. Other than a scene where Micki pretended to be flirt with Donald in order to get him to leave a bar with her, neither Micki and Ryan really did much in this episode. Denis Forest, making his second appearance on Friday the 13th, gave a good performance as Donald and even managed to generate some sympathy for the character. The gangsters felt like they were left over from an episode of T and T. As I said, it was an okay episode but not one that made a huge impression.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/27/24 — 11/2/24

Posted on November 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last Sunday, I took part in one of my favorite October traditions and I watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with my sister, Erin. I always enjoy watching these old Peanuts specials with my sister. It’s been a part of our holiday tradition for as long as I can remember. You can read Erin’s thoughts on the Great Pumpkin here.

I watched the latest episode of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez. This week, Aaron murdered Odin Lloyd. This was the crime for which Hernandez was arrested and eventually sent to prison. You would think that this would have been a major episode of the show but it was actually pretty meh. Who cares? Everything that this show had to say about Aaron Hernandez and his crimes was said several episodes ago.

I enjoyed the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday. The Blue Team is finally getting it together. Chef Ramsay is being a bit nicer than usual this season but he’s still entertaining. I actually kind of like it when Ramsay’s nice. One gets the feeling that he really does want everyone to reach their full potential.

How did I not know that Dr. Phil started his own television network? On Friday, I came across it while looking for something to watch in the afternoon. I ended up watching two episodes of Jail. Usually, the cops and guards on Jail get on my nerves but, in these two episodes, they actually did a pretty good job and treated everyone with a modicum of respect.

On Friday night, I watched two episodes of Night Flight. It was all about 80s music and 80s films. I enjoyed them.

Today, I watched an old episode of Dragnet from 1970. Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) was enrolled in night school. An anti-cop professor tried to kick him out of class. Fortunately, one of Joe’s classmates was an attorney and threatened to sue the college on Joe’s behalf.

As far as my retro television reviews are concerned, I finished up T&T finally. I also watched and reviewed Friday the 13th, Welcome Back, Kotter, and Check It Out. Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi so I had two bucks to watch this week’s episode on Prime. Welcome Back, Kotter’s later seasons are far more tolerable when you can view them for free.

Horrorthon is over! I’ve got a lot of television to get caught up on, starting this upcoming week. Apparently, I’m being given an extra hour to do so. That was nice of whoever’s in charge of all that.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”

Posted on November 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a nerdy film students takes his love of a 1940s horror film too far!

Episode 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”

(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)

Darius Pogue (Jonathan Wise) is a nerdy film student who is obsessed with The Wolf Man. When Darius steals an old antique movie camera, he discovers that, by looking through the camera’s view finder, he can bring The Wolf Man to life and send him to kill anyone who annoys him. Darius kills a snooty antique store manager. He kills a bully. He kills his professor. He even sends the wolf after Ryan and a girl that Darius likes.

However, as much as Darius enjoys sending the Wolf Man after people, he wants to be the Wolf Man himself. After allowing the Wolf Man to scratch him, Darius shoots him with silver bullets. Transforming into a werewolf himself, Darius goes after Ryan, Micki, and Jack. Unfortunately, Darius didn’t consider that film stock is full of silver nitrate. Live by the film, die by the film….

This episode was a case where the premise was pretty interesting but the execution didn’t quite work. The episode mixes in archival footage from The Wolf Man with scenes of Darius’s victims meeting their fate. So, for example, one sees Lon Chaney Jr. turning into the Wolf Man and then the viewer sees The Wolf Man killing one of Darius’s classmates. The problem is that the Friday the 13th werewolf makeup doesn’t really look much like the Wolf Man makeup. Regardless of how darkly lit each scene is, it’s pretty obvious that the Wolf Man from the film is not the same Wolf Man that is doing Darius’s bidding. It not only negates the whole idea behind the cursed antique but it’s also pretty distracting for those of us just trying to watch the show. And, again, it’s a shame because the idea behind this episode was actually pretty clever.

Myself, I’ve always liked the original Wolf Man. Eventually, Larry Talbot got a bit too whiny for his own good and it’s pretty much impossible to buy the idea of the hulking, very American Lon Chaney, Jr. as the son of the sophisticated and very British Claude Rains. But, even with all that in mind, The Wolf Man holds up as a classic American horror film, full of atmosphere and featuring a pretty impressive monster. Friday the 13th deserves some credit for making Darius a Wolf Man fan because The Wolf Man, with its portrait of a man being driven mad by a curse that he cannot control, fits in perfectly with the main idea behind Friday the 13th. Darius, like most of the villains on this show, isn’t really evil until he starts using the camera. Each times he picks up the camera, his actions become progressively worse. Just as Larry Talbott was cursed by the werewolf, Darius is cursed by the camera. Much like a drug addict, Darius falls in love with the camera and he just can’t stop using it. His addiction changes his personality as it becomes all-consuming,. Eventually, it drives him to become the Wolf Man himself.

The episode ends with another cursed antique safely hidden away and Darius joining Larry Talbot in the cold embrace of death. There was a lot of potential to this episode so it’s a shame that it didn’t quite work.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/20/24 — 10/26/24

Posted on October 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow, the story of Aaron Hernandez gets less and less interesting with each week. American Sports Story got off to a strong start but, this week, I found myself watching the latest episode and wondering why anyone should care about Aaron and his problems. Seriously, I get that Aaron Hernandez was abused as a child. I get that he struggled as a gay man in a hypermasculine, homophobic industry. I get that he didn’t grow up privileged. I’ll even agree with the show’s criticisms of the NFL. But in the end, who cares? As portrayed on this show, Aaron Hernandez comes across as being an idiot. Beyond the fact that he played professional football, there’s nothing particularly interesting about Hernandez or his crimes. He’s not a compelling character at all.

I was far more entertained by Hell’s Kitchen this week. Gordon Ramsay and his terrified chefs are compelling characters. Ramsay was in a surprisingly supportive mood this week. That’s fine with me. I like it when Chef Ramsay’s nice. No one went home this week. Yay!

Let’s see, what else did I watch this week? I watched that old episode of Dragnet where Friday and Gannon went on the talk show. I actually watched that episode several times. It amused me. Plus, the episode’s debate was a lot more interesting than any of the real debates that are currently going on.

I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, The Love Boat, and Homicide. I watched a Halloween episode of Friday the 13th. I watched and shared several episodes of One Step Beyond. And, finally, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil where a man said his wife had run off with a cult.

And that’s it! Most of my attention was devoted to horror films this week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Micki’s in even more danger than usual as a desperate doctor uses a magic syringe to try to find a cure for his daughter. This is also our final episode of Friday the 13th for October. Can you believe Halloween is right around the corner?

Episode 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

John Cusack plays Lane Meyer, an artistic high school student who is stunned with he is dumped by….

Oh wait, sorry. Wrong Better Off Dead.

This Better Off Dead tells the story of Dr. Warren Voss (Neil Munro), who lives in an isolated mansion with his pre-adolescent daughter, Amanda (Tara Meyer). Amanda has a disease that makes her violent and dangerous. She attacks almost anyone who comes near her, including her own father. Dr. Voss believes that he has finally found a cure for her condition and, if he’s right, he’s convinced that he can cure all violent behavior.

Unfortunately, the cure is a bit extreme. Dr. Voss starts out by bringing prostitutes to his mansion and then using a silver syringe to extract their brain fluid, which he then injects into his daughter. This temporarily calms down his daughter but it turns Voss’s unwilling donors into violent maniacs. Voss claims that he’s doing all of this for the greater good and he’s only using donors who would be better off dead. But, as the episode unfolds, it becomes clear that Voss’s good intentions can’t hide his own sadistic streak.

The syringe once belonged to Jack the Ripper and, as you definitely already guessed, it’s a cursed object. After a friend of Micki’s becomes one of Voss’s victims, Micki is herself kidnapped and becomes Voss’s latest donor. When Jack and Ryan show up to save the day, they not only have to battle Voss. They also find themselves attacked by Micki. And Micki, due to the experiments and perhaps also due to the resentment that anyone would feel over having to put their lives on hold to search for cursed antiques, proves to be a fierce opponent.

Fear not, of course. Things are resolved. Micki is saved and, at the end of the episode, she is slowly recovering from her trauma. Voss is attacked and killed by his own daughter. Ryan wonders about whether or not Voss could have eliminated violent behavior if he had been allowed to continue his experiments. Jack says that it’s not worth wondering about. I agree. Leave Micki alone! Better the whole world suffer than one redhead be inconvenienced, say this proud redhead.

Director by Armand Mastroianni, this was a really good episode. Both Neil Munro and Tara Meyer gave good performances as the doctor and his daughter and Robey, who has often felt underused on this show so far, got a chance to show off her own dramatic abilities. As for the question at the heart of the episode, I agree with Jack. The cost outweighs the benefits. Friday the 13th deserves a lot credit, though, for seriously considering the issue. This was an episode that was both creepy and intelligent.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.14 “Face of Evil”

Posted on October 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s sequel time!

Episode 2.14 “Face of Evil”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 6th, 1989)

In this sequel to the first season episode Vanity’s Mirror, Joanne Mackey (Gwendoline Pacey) returns to Curious Goods for the first time since the death of her younger sister, Helen. Joanne reveals that she’s the one who stole the cursed gold compact at the end of Vanity’s Mirror, explaining that she simply had to have something that belonged to her sister. Jack is not amused, telling her that she should have turned it over so that it could be stored in the vault.

Calm down, Jack. Joanne knows she did something wrong and she’s trying to make amends. She is especially concerned because the compact is now in the hands of an aging supermodel named Tabitha Robbins (Laura Robinson). Tabitha is upset that her career is struggling and she’s been told that not even plastic surgery can reverse the fact that she’s just not as young as her competition. Tabitha has figured out that anyone whose face is caught in the reflection of the mirror will either die or, at the very least, suffer a terrible disfigurement. Apparently, in this case, the antique’s curse changes depending on who owns it.

I have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, I could relate to Tabitha’s feelings about aging. No one wants to age and that’s doubly true when you’re working in an industry where youth is the most valuable commodity. I also enjoyed the very 80s fashion shoots that were featured in this episode. On the other hand, there were a lot of rather silly scenes of Tabitha trying to catch Ryan and Micki’s reflection in the mirror while Mick and Ryan ducked around with their hands over their faces. There’s no other way to put it other than to say it all looked really goofy.

The biggest problem with this episode is that the majority of it was taken up with clips from Vanity’s Mirror. Every few minutes, Joanne would think about Helen and we would get a flashback. Unfortunately, a lot of the flashbacks didn’t even feature Joanne so you have to wonder how exactly she was able to remember them. The constant flashbacks made this episode feel like a clip show and you know how much I hate those.

In the end, Tabitha accidentally catches her own face in the mirror’s reflection and she immediately starts aging. I guess that’s the risk you take when you try to use a mirror as a weapon. Micki and Ryan finally retrieve the compact and Jack mentions that Joanne could have saved a lot of lives by not stealing the compact in the first place. Look, Jack — she feels bad enough already! I’m sorry everyone isn’t beating down the doors of the antique shop to give you their cursed items. Get off Joanne’s back!

Oh well. At least the evil compact will hurt no one else….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.13 “Eye of Death”

Posted on October 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ryan goes into the past.

Episode 2.13 “Eye of the Death”

(Dir by Timothy Bond, originally aired on January 30th, 1989)

Atticus Rook (Tom McCamus) is an antiques dealer, one who is well-known to Jack. No one seems to really like or trust Atticus Rook. Everything about him seems to scream sleaze. But Atticus has somehow managed to get artifacts from the American Civil War that no one else has ever been able to find. His latest claim is that he will soon be selling Robert E. Lee’s sword.

How is Atticus accomplishing this? He has a cursed magic lantern that he uses to project old pictures onto his wall. He’s then able to step into the picture and enter the time period in which it was taken. (Hey, that sounds like a fun cursed object to own!) Atticus has been going into the past and telling Gen. Lee (Bernard Behrens) that he’s a spy. However, the information that he gives Lee is just stuff that he remembers from history class. Atticus thinks that he’s got a pretty good operation going but there are two catches. To go to the past, he has to kill someone in the present. To return to the present, he has to kill someone in the past.

Naturally, Ryan ends up in the past while trying to retrieve the magic lantern. Ryan meets General Lee and tries to present himself as also being a spy but it turns out that Ryan paid even less attention in history class than Atticus did. Ryan being Ryan, he also falls in love with a widow named Abigail (Brooke Johnson). As we all know, having Ryan fall in love with you is pretty much a death sentence on Friday the 13th. Abigail’s death does allow Ryan, Jack, and Micki to return to the present. Moving the lantern allows Atticus to get trapped in his own wall, where he suffocates while trying to return to the present.

This was a surprisingly good episode. I say “surprisingly” because you wouldn’t necessarily think that a low-budget Canadian show would do a great job of recreating the American Civil War but this episode pulls it off. The costumes, the sets, the words used by the people encountered by Ryan and Atticus, all of them work to make the episode’s Civil War setting feel very realistic. Tom McCamus is a great villain and Bernard Behrens is well-cast as Robert E. Lee. Even the obviously doomed romance between Ryan and Abigail works remarkably well.

I have to admit that I’ve always assumed this show took place in Canada, largely because of all of the Canadian accents and the Canadian scenery. This episode reveals that Friday the 13th is supposed to be taking place in the United States, despite the way that people pronounce the word “sorry.” When Ryan ends up in the Civil War, he says that he’s from Chicago. (It’s not necessarily a good idea to go back to the Civil War era and immediatly tell everyone that you’re a Yankee.)

Well, this show can pretend that the antique store is in Chicago if it wants to, but it’ll always be Toronto to me.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.12 “The Playhouse”

Posted on October 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Agck! Stranger danger!

Episode 2.12 “The Playhouse”

(Dir by Tom McLoughlin, originally aired on January 28th, 1989)

Mike and Janine Carlson (played by Robert Oliveri and Lisa Jakub) are two young siblings living in the suburbs. They don’t have much of a life. Their mother (Belinda Metz) is neglectful and continually complains that her children are the reason why she can’t find a rich boyfriend. Mike and Janine don’t appear to have any close friends. Children are vanishing all over town and parents are telling their kids, “Don’t go off with strangers!” but no one seems to care enough about Mike and Janine to even check to make sure that they haven’t been kidnapped.

Mike and Janine have a playhouse, a gift that was given to them by one of their mother’s former boyfriends. The playhouse is the only place where they feel happy. It’s a place where they literally get anything that they wish for. But sometimes, the door to the playhouse is locked. When that happens, Mike and Janine have to convince someone else to go into the playhouse. Once someone enters the playhouse, they find themselves trapped in a nightmarish world that is full of evil clowns and other circus figures. Mike and Janine have to chant, “I hate you! I hate you!” while the playhouse claims its victims.

Agck! Seriously, this is a disturbing episode! Not only are Mike and Janine terribly abused but almost all of their victims are children. Perhaps because of the age of the people involved, this is the only episode of Friday the 13th: The Series in which no one dies. They’re held prisoner in the playhouse and probably traumatized for life but they don’t die. Fortunately, that means that they can be freed once Jack convinces Mike to chant, “I love you!” instead of “I hate you!”

Yep, this episode is all about the power of love but you really have to wonder if all of Mike and Janine’s problems can be solved by chanting, “I love you!” I mean, aren’t the other kids going to remember that Mike and Janine held them prisoner in a nightmare universe? The episode may end with the playhouse defeated by Mike and Janine are still living in that terrible suburb and their mother is still a resentful alcoholic. Even though this episode has what would most would consider to be a happy ending — the kids are free! — it’s still incredibly dark.

This episode definitely left me feeling a bit shaken. I hate seeing children in danger and that’s what this episode was all about. Even things that sound kind of silly — like Mike chanting “I hate you!” while the playhouse does its thing — are actually rather disturbing when viewed. The child actors are almost too convincing in this episode. In the end, Jack says that all you need is love but this episode leaves you wondering if he’s correct.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.11 “The Sweetest Sting”

Posted on September 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Agck! Bees!

Episode 2.11 “The Sweetest Sting”

(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on January 16th, 1989)

I have never been stung by a bee or a wasp.

I’m extremely lucky. All of my sisters and all of my cousins have been stung once or twice. My mom was stung multiple times when I was little. But I have never once been stung. I once had a wasp fly straight into my hair and I was able to shake it out without it stinging me. I have had bees land on my bare arm and just sit there without stinging. I once knocked a wasp nest off of a farm doorway and the wasps, while obviously angry, made no attempt to sting me in retaliation. For whatever reasons, the wasps and the bees have decided not to mar my beautiful skin with any of their stingers and I appreciate them for that.

Of course, I’m also very scared that they might someday change their mind. I have no idea what it feels like to be stung but I know it’s painful. On a more serious note, I have no idea whether or not I’m allergic to bees or wasps. I appreciate their kindness but I’m still terrified of their capriciousness.

That’s why this somewhat silly episode of Friday the 13th freaked me out. I say silly because it was about McCabe (Art Hindle), a psycho beekeeper who kept all of his bees in a cursed hive. Whenever he would unleash the bees, the cheap special effects were so bad that it would have made me laugh if not for the fact that I’m already scared enough of innocent bees. Imagine how I feel about cursed ones!

The bees produced cursed honey that can be used to restore the youth of people who allow themselves to be stung by McCabe’s bees. (Because they’re magic bees, they don’t die after stinging someone. I always understood that stinging someone caused a bee to be ripped in half so I’m not sure how the magic works but whatever. I actually kind of feel bad for bees now.) However, the people who accept McCabe’s youth treatment have to have a constant supply of honey and McCabe needs a constant supply of dead bodies so that his clients can fake their own deaths. So, McCabe orders his clients to kill if they want to remain young.

To be honest, the whole plot kind of feels like it was made up on the spot but the great Canadian character actor Art Hindle gives an amusingly over-the-top performance as McCabe. McCabe is the type of villain who laughs whenever he’s thinking about doing something evil. There’s nothing subtle about Hindle’s performance but it works in the contest of the episode’s overall absurdity. The bees are obviously fake. Art Hindle chews up every piece of scenery he can get his hands on. The episode’s a lot of fun.