Trailers for Halloween, Part One

Posted on October 29, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Part One of the Halloween Edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers! Watch for Part 2 tomorrow and Part 3 on Monday.

1) I, Madman (1989)

I love this trailer for the title alone. Anything called I, Madman is automatically going to be great.

2) Dark Forces (1980)

This is one of those trailers that I just happened to wander across on YouTube and the main reason it’s here is because I just like the kitschy, pop art feel to it. How scary can anyone named Harlequin really be?

3) Boardinghouse (1982)

“In Horrorvision!” Judging from this trailer, Horrorvision apparently is another way of saying, “Shot on video tape.” I actually own this film on DVD. I bought it solely because it was a Code Red DVD and I needed to complete my collection. I managed to watch about 10 minutes of it before the extreme tackiness of the whole thing overwhelmed me and I just had to turn it off and watch some Degrassi instead. Still the trailer has a certain deam-like quality to it.

4) Tourist Trap (1979)

This trailer gets to me because mannequins get to me. Seriously, they creep me out and once when I was like nine, I saw one move by itself in the mall. True story! Plus, the last time I went to Victoria’s Secret, there were headless, lingerie-clad mannequins in the display window. Seriously! Where were the heads? It was so creepy and serial killer-like. Don’t even get me started on Dexter this season. Seriously, mannequins suck.

5) Motel Hell (1980)

Honestly, I would never stay at a place called Motel Hell. Especially if there’s a Comfort Inn nearby.

6) The Funhouse (1980)

This trailer actually really scared me the first time I saw it. Once again, mannequins suck. (You can spot a few in this one.)

6 Horror-Filled Trailers For Those That Were Left Behind

Posted on October 22, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Apparently, the Rapture was scheduled for yesterday and I missed it. Now, I suppose there are a lot of reasons as to why I might have been left behind but quite frankly, I blame my first boyfriend. Seriously, thanks for condemning me to three and a half years of tribulation, jerk! Anyway, as long as we’re all stuck together, why not enjoy six more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers? Since it’s still October, I’m continuing my horror theme with this entry. Plus, considering what the future holds for us, we should probably start getting used to a little horror…

1) The Burning (1981)

Agck! I just recently saw this movie and that little raft scene totally freaked me out! I would never get on a raft to begin with because it worries me that I might end up with some raftmate who keeps going, “Row! Row! Row!” On another note, what’s up with those people who are always like, “Go! Go! Go!” in action scenes? I’m just like, “Okay, fascist much?” I mean, if you want to be all Mad Men-like, go watch AMC.

2) Return to Horror High (1987)

Three quick notes: 1) Watch carefully and you’ll see George Clooney pop up for about five seconds in this trailer, 2) if you don’t want people like getting killed at your school, don’t name it Horror, and 3) I made my sister watch this trailer and she assures me that a literal skeleton would never be allowed to become a cheerleader.

3) Splatter University (1984)

I assume this is where you go if you survive Horror High. Usually I try to be kinda coy and funny about these things but this time I’m just going to flat-out say it: Based on this, this film appears to truly suck. But I can’t resist a trailer that features melodramatic narration….

4) Slaughter High (1986)

Okay, this movie also looks terrible but check out the so-bad-its-going-t0-make-you-kill-someone musical score. Again, I’d just like to point out that if this high school had simply been named after a dead president, a lot of needless death could have been avoided. But no, they had to go with Slaughter High.

5) Hell High (1989)

As if I needed further proof to make my case, check out this trailer for Hell High. I own this movie on DVD and I have to admit that I bought it solely because of the name.

6) Videodrome (1982)

After those last few trailers, you may be ready for a trailer of a film that’s actually kinda sorta good. So, here’s one for David Cronenberg’s Videodrome, which is one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, what with all that “new flesh” talk and James Woods’ body doing weird things…agck!

Let’s Second Guess The Academy: 2006 Best Picture

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there and welcome to the latest, long-delayed edition of Let’s Second Guess The Academy. Previously, we second-guessed the Academy’s choice for best picture of 1990, 1994, 1998, and 2002. It seems only fitting that we now jump ahead another 4 years and reconsider the race for best picture of 2006.

The Academy nominated five films for best picture 0f 2006. Those films were Babel, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, and The Queen. They ultimately named The Departed the best film of 2006. Were they right?

And now, here’s my favorite part of second guessing the Academy. What if none of the five nominated films had been released in 2006? Which other films would you have nominated? Below is a list of some of 2006′s most acclaimed and memorable films. You can vote for up to 10 replacement nominees and write-in votes are allowed.

As always, vote once, vote often, and have fun!

Scenes I Love: Jim James Sings Goin’ To Acapulco in I’m Not There

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When I’m Not There was first released in 2007, most critics gave most of their praise and attention to Cate Blanchett’s performance as one of the film’s six different representations of Bob Dylan. In fact, Blanchett was even nominated for Best Supporting Actress for grabbing her crotch and wearing a painfully fake mustache. When I first saw I’m Not There, I thought that Blanchett’s performance was overrated. Having recently rewatched it on DVD, I’ve changed my opinion slightly. I now think that her performance as “Jude Quinn” is probably the worst performance she’s ever given. Once you get over the fact that Cate Blanchett’s playing a man, the quicker it becomes obvious that she’s not a very convincing man.

In fact, on subsequent viewings, I’ve come to realize that the only part of the film that really works for me is the final section. This is the section where an aging Bob Dylan is played by (of all people) Richard Gere. This is the section where Gere is known as Billy the Kid and he ends up wandering through a surrealistic frontier town while searching for his dog. The town is full of people who look like they escape from an especially grim Fellini film and Bruce Greenwood pops up as Pat Garrett. When I first saw I’m Not There, this final sequence seemed drawn out and rather silly. However, on subsequent viewings, I’ve come to appreciate the fact that, with this end sequence, director Todd Haynes is at least finally being honest about being pretentious.

Another point in this sequence’s favor is that it features a haunting performance of Dylan’s Goin’ To Acapulco by Jim James and Calexico. The contrast between the heartfelt delivery of the song, the intellectual pretensions of the entire film, and the inherent Hollywood slickness of Richard Gere all add up to create a scene that I truly love.

Eddie Murphy?

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I don’t follow football, baseball, or any other sport created by putting something random before the word “ball.” Why would I ever need sports when I’ve got the Oscars? A few nights ago, I found myself asking Arleigh just what exactly was meant by all this talk of “fantasy football.” Seriously, I assumed that it was some sort of football team made up of hobbits, elves, and talking Narnia animals. Turns out I was wrong but it also turns out that whereas some of you have got your fantasy football drafts, I’ve got my fantasy Oscar season. And you know what? My fantasy Oscars always turn out to be a lot more interesting than the real Oscars.

But, ultimately, it’s the real Oscars that matter and, as we enter the Fall, the real Oscar season is heating up. Not only are the self-styled Oscar contenders lining up to be released but the pieces of the eventual ceremony are starting to come together as well.

Each year, one of the most important pieces of the ceremony is the announcement of just who exactly will be hosting the big event. Last year, James Franco and Anne Hathaway were announced as hosts and we all know how that eventually went. Perhaps that’s why the producer of the upcoming show, hack director Brett Ratner, has decided to go the opposite direction. Rather than picking someone who represents the future of Hollywood, he has instead picked someone who very much represents the past.

The host of the 84th Academy Awards will be Eddie Murphy.

Perhaps not coincidentally, Eddie Murphy is also appearing in Ratner’s upcoming film, Tower Heist. (By the way, I’ve already predicted that Tower Heist is going to suck just on the basis of the trailer. Hopefully, I’ll be wrong because, quite frankly, it makes me happy when Ben Stiller gets to appear in a good film. But seriously — even the title is lazy.)

I can’t really say for sure how I feel about Eddie Murphy as host of the Oscars because, to be honest, I really haven’t seen that many of his films. I thought he was kinda good in Dreamgirls but otherwise, Eddie Murphy has always come across as being … well, the term that comes to mind is “washed up.”

Personally, I’m a part of the minority who feels that Anne Hathaway and James Franco weren’t half as bad as everyone seems to think. Hathaway, I felt was likable and goofy and Franco — well, I kinda sorta like James Franco. The fact that the two of them were so ill-suited for their hosting duties brought a very nice sort of unpredictable vibe to the show. You never knew if James Franco was going to suddenly chop his arm off on-camera.

Say what you will about Eddie Murphy, I know he’s not going to chop off his arm on live TV.

6 Trailers for the Labour Party

Posted on September 3, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, I guess I should start this off with an apology to all the British leftists out there who might have wandered over here after accidentally misinterpreting the title of this post. This post does not feature anyone named Paddy, Tony, or Gordon. (Actually, Paddy Ashdown is apparently not a member of the Labour Party but I just happen to like his name.) Instead, it’s just the latest entry in a series I like to call Lisa’s Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.

1) High Ballin’ (1978)

For some reason, this trailer just screams Labor Day to me. I have to be honest though, I think there’s a double meaning to the title.

2) Moonrunners (1974)

I get the feeling this movie was the Winter’s Bone of its day.

3) Gator Bait (1973)

This is one of my favorite trailers if just because I imagine I’m probably kin to half the people in this film (and in Moonrunners, for that matter.)

4) Alligator (1980)

However, you don’t have to go to Louisiana to be gator bait…

5) C.H.U.D. (1984)

Speaking of things living underground, C.H.U.D. apparently stands for Cannibalstic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. I’ve got this one on DVD and, to be honest, I’ve never been able to stay awake through the whole thing. But the trailer is effective and you can tell it’s from the 80s because there’s no attempt to show that the little doggie escaped.

6) Night of the Demons (1988)

Okay, so this trailer is kinda boring (though I imagine all you boys will enjoy all the boobies) up until that final image which just totally freaks me out for some reason. “Where are you going? The party’s just begun…” Agck!

And now, I’m off to find myself a Labour Party — a Labor Day party, that is.

6 Trailers That Will Change The Way The Trees Look At Midnight

Posted on August 20, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s Saturday and that means its time for my favorite part of the week — the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers!

1) The Losers (1970)

Not to be confused with the 2010 action film, this Losers has been described as the best “bikers-in-Viet-Nam film ever.” It was directed by Jack Starrett and, like every other biker film from 1970, it stars William Smith.

2) The Girl on a Motorcycle (1968)

Continuing the theme of crazed bikers, this trailer is short but effective. Especially when Alain Delon pulls down that zipper with his teeth….

3) Chatterbox (1977)

This is another short trailer, in fact, I think — at just 30 seconds — it might be the shortest trailer I’ve ever featured in this series. Anyway, Chatterbox is a film about a woman whose vagina can talk and, apparently, sing. I have never seen this film though I have seen a few isolated clips. I hope if my vagina ever starts to speak, it 1) has a less annoying voice and 2) just displays a lot more wit and personality in general. Anyway, the talking vagina is not featured in this trailer. Anyway, you wouldn’t know any of that from watching the trailer, which I think is odd. I mean, if you’re going to make a film about a talking vagina, shouldn’t the vagina be allowed to speak for itself? Just saying…

4) Baba Yaga (1973)

Like all good things, this trailer comes to us from Italy.

5) Disco Fever (1978)

Wow! Disco, a concorde, dirt bike racing, braless dancers, and a boring 40 year-old rock star with a cocaine-flecked beard. Could this film be any more 70s? “Disco Fever — Everything is perfect…until the music stops!”

6) American Fever (1978)

Okay, I’m either in a disco mood or else I’m running a fever because I just have to end things with a second disco film. This is an Italian film. Does anyone out there own the American Fever soundtrack?

Scenes I Love: The House On The Edge of the Park (dir. by Ruggero Deodato)

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Don’t ask me why I love this scene from the 1980 grindhouse classic House on the Edge of the Park because I’ll go on and on. I could say that I love dancing in general. I could talk about how I own a red dress just like the one that Lorraine De Selle wears in this scene. I could rave about how pretty Annie Bell and Christian Borromeo were when they made this movie or the time capsule appeal of David Hess’s canary yellow suit.

But, in the end, I love this scene for two reasons:

1) The song playing in the background, composed by Riz Ortolani, is so bad yet so addictive and,

2) Giovanni Lombardo Radice is just so adorable doing his little dance.

Poll: Which Films Are You Most Looking Forward To Seeing In September?

Posted on July 31, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

One month ago, we asked you which films you are most looking forward to seeing in August. The results of that poll can be found here but, in short, it would appear that, for the majority of our readers, August is going to be all about The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Conan the Barbarian, and Fright Night.

(Though for me personally, August is all about One Day.)

So, what’s September going to be all about? Well, why not let us know by voting in our latest poll? As always, you can vote for up to four films and write-in votes are always allowed. Happy voting!

(Personally, I’ll be voting for 50/50, Drive, Contagion, and A Good, Old-Fashioned Orgy.)

6 Trailers of Separation

Posted on July 16, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! Welcome to the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.

1) Ghost Town (1988)

Let’s start things out with this film from 1988. I haven’t seen this film but the trailer has a certain silly charm to it and how can’t you enjoy the use of the fake lightning special effect? Plus, those finger nails screeching across the car — Agck! Freaky.

2) Blue Sunshine (1976)

This is one of my favorite movies. Basically, a bunch of hippies take some really powerful acid in 1968 and then, eight years later, they end up having the worst flashback ever! To say that Zalman King gives an “interesting” performance as the film’s hero is a bit of an understatement.

3) Road Games (1981)

“Jamie Lee Curtis is…Hitch.” Well, that would probably explain why she was destined to end up hitchhiking. Seriously, parents — give it some thought before you give your child any old name. Anyway, Road Games was director Richard Franklin’s follow-up to Patrick and it’s one of the better slasher films of the early 80s.

4) The Dungeonmaster (1985)

Oh my God, this looks like a bad movie. The trailer, however, is just so silly and kinda endearing in the way that it seems to desperately be saying, “No, it’s not as bad as it looks! Look — we have ice people!”