Apparently, the Rapture was scheduled for yesterday and I missed it. Now, I suppose there are a lot of reasons as to why I might have been left behind but quite frankly, I blame my first boyfriend. Seriously, thanks for condemning me to three and a half years of tribulation, jerk! Anyway, as long as we’re all stuck together, why not enjoy six more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers? Since it’s still October, I’m continuing my horror theme with this entry. Plus, considering what the future holds for us, we should probably start getting used to a little horror…
1) The Burning (1981)
Agck! I just recently saw this movie and that little raft scene totally freaked me out! I would never get on a raft to begin with because it worries me that I might end up with some raftmate who keeps going, “Row! Row! Row!” On another note, what’s up with those people who are always like, “Go! Go! Go!” in action scenes? I’m just like, “Okay, fascist much?” I mean, if you want to be all Mad Men-like, go watch AMC.
2) Return to Horror High (1987)
Three quick notes: 1) Watch carefully and you’ll see George Clooney pop up for about five seconds in this trailer, 2) if you don’t want people like getting killed at your school, don’t name it Horror, and 3) I made my sister watch this trailer and she assures me that a literal skeleton would never be allowed to become a cheerleader.
I assume this is where you go if you survive Horror High. Usually I try to be kinda coy and funny about these things but this time I’m just going to flat-out say it: Based on this, this film appears to truly suck. But I can’t resist a trailer that features melodramatic narration….
Okay, this movie also looks terrible but check out the so-bad-its-going-t0-make-you-kill-someone musical score. Again, I’d just like to point out that if this high school had simply been named after a dead president, a lot of needless death could have been avoided. But no, they had to go with Slaughter High.
As if I needed further proof to make my case, check out this trailer for Hell High. I own this movie on DVD and I have to admit that I bought it solely because of the name.
After those last few trailers, you may be ready for a trailer of a film that’s actually kinda sorta good. So, here’s one for David Cronenberg’s Videodrome, which is one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, what with all that “new flesh” talk and James Woods’ body doing weird things…agck!
Through the Shattered Lens 
It’s hard to imagine now, what with his international reputation, but one of Cronenberg’s early efforts–was it “Rabid” or “The Brood”–was denounced on the floor of the Canadian House of Commons because it had been partially funded with taxpayer money.
Ah, look how far little Davey has come since then–“History of Violence”, “Eastern Promises”. Dang, he’s practically legit…
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At least there doesn’t appear have been any Druids at those murderer-plagued (and foolishly-named) schools, unlike the one “The Principal” had to deal with.
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