Scenes That I Love: “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire

Posted on February 2, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since February is Oscar month, I figured why not start things off with one of my favorite dance scenes of all time? When Danny Boyle won his Oscar for directing Slumdog Millionaire (which, of course, was also named the best picture of 2008), he specifically thanked choreographer Longinus Fernandes for creating the “Jai Ho” dance sequence that is used to punctuate the film’s finale. Indeed, the credit was deserved because that dance sequence not only served as a perfect coda for Boyle’s kinetic vision but it also elevated the entire film and transformed an otherwise grim little story about poverty and crime into the “feel good movie of 2008.”

To me, this scene epitomizes everything that caused me to fall in love with film in the first place.

Poll: What Movies Are You Looking Forward To Seeing In March?

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, here we are. It’s the last day of the month and that means that it’s time for another poll! Yay! Last month, we asked you which films you were most looking forward to seeing in February and you can find the results here. According to the poll, February is going to be all about people rushing to the theaters so that they can see Ghost Rider.

(Personally, February will be about Chronicle for me.)

What movies are you most looking forward to seeing in March? As always, you can vote for up to four films and the poll will remain open until the final day of February.

Vote once and vote often.

Film Review: Man on a Ledge (dir. Asger Leth)

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The newly released film Man on a Ledge is about a man (played by Sam Worthington) who checks into a hotel room in New York City and then climbs out on a ledge and threatens to jump off unless a specific hostage negotiator is brought in to talk him off the ledge. We quickly discover that Worthington isn’t just a depressed jumper. Instead, he’s got a really lengthy and overly complicated back story. It turns out that he’s a former detective who used to moonlight for a venture capitalist and then one day, he was accused of stealing a priceless diamond and destroying it. This resulted in him getting sentenced to 25 years in prison but when his father is reported to have died, Worthington is released from jail for a day so he can attend the funeral. So, Worthington escapes and then ends up out on a ledge as part of a massively complicated plan to prove his innocence. His name, by the way, is Nick because people named Alvin are never the stars of action movies.

Meanwhile, the cop that Nick demands to speak with is a hardened, veteran hostage negotiator and she’s played by Elizabeth Banks. Yes, you read that correctly. Anyway, Nick asks for her because he knows that the last guy she tried to talk out of jumping apparently jumped off a bridge. Since Banks failed her last time out, her efforts to talk Nick off the ledge are cautiously observed by another detective, this one played by Edward Burns. Banks is totally and completely miscast here and she has next to no chemistry with Sam Worthington. However, she does have really good chemistry with Edward Burns. Seriously, they would make a really cute couple and I would buy any issue of Us Weekly that had them on the cover.

Meanwhile, the guy that Nick is accused of stealing from just happens to be in a building across the street where he’s conducting some sort of generically evil business deal. He’s a painfully thin, almost sickly man and, whenever he was on screen, I found myself wondering how his head managed to stay balanced on his body. At first, I thought maybe it was the Red Skull waiting for the sequel to Capt. America to start filming. However, on closer inspection, he turned out to be respected character actor Ed Harris. In this film, Harris plays a ruthless capitalist who would have gone bankrupt if not for the insurance money he got as a result of Nick supposedly destroying that diamond. Anyway, Harris appears to be enjoying playing a bad guy and he’s so over-the-top in his evil that you don’t really mind that he’s another one of those “I-should-kill-you-now-but-first-we-talk” type of villains.

Meanwhile, there’s two other people who are taking advantage of all the chaos caused by the man on the ledge to break into Harris’s building. They’re played by Jamie Bell (who looks a lot like Casey Affleck in this film) and telenova veteran Genesis Rodriguez. As you watch Bell and Rodriguez sliding down heating ducts and scaling elevator shafts, you can’t help but marvel at just how overly complicated everyone is making things. Still, Bell and Rodriguez have a lot of chemistry and they’re fun to watch.

Meanwhile, NYC television reporter (played by Kyra Sedgwick) is running around the streets of New York, asking random bystanders how they feel about the prospect of Nick jumping. Apparently, she is an old enemy of Elizabeth Banks’ though that whole plot line is dropped as soon as its brought up. Still, the audience in my theater chuckled when Sedgwick dramatically rolled her r’s while introducing herself as “Suzie Morales.”

Meanwhile, there’s a bearded guy watching Nick up on the roof and he suddenly decides to go all Occupy Wall Street on the movie’s ass and starts shouting, “Attica! Attica!” before then blaming it all on the 1%. Unfortunately, he doesn’t put on Guy Fawkes mask at any point during all of this.

Meanwhile, the entire city of New York is obsessed with the man on the ledge and, if nothing else, they all end up acting exactly the way that people who have never been to New York City (like me) assume that people in New York act. By that, I mean all the extras are all like, “Yo, Paulie! There’s some man on a ledge! Stop breaking my balls!”

Meanwhile, there’s one final twist to the film’s plot that I can’t share without spoiling the film. So, I’ll just say that it involved someone working at the hotel and I figured out the twist about 3 minutes after this character first appeared. This is one of those twists that if you can’t figure out on your own then you need to hang your head in shame. Seriously.

This film packs a lot of plot into 90 minutes of screen time and, not surprisingly, the end result is a bit of a mess. This is one of those films where every single character attempts to solve his or her problems in the most needlessly complicated and implausible way possible. Still, almost despite myself, I enjoyed Man on a Ledge. It’s just all so silly and stupid that it becomes oddly likable. The film also has two nicely done chase scenes and some of the scenes where Nick attempts to manuever about on the ledge made me go, “Agck!”

Seriously, I don’t do heights.

6 Trailers For A Saturday Afternoon

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi. It’s Saturday and that can only mean that it’s time for any edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers!

1) Crater Lake Monster (1977)

This is one of those films that seems to show up in a dozen or so public domain DVD compilation packs. The “lake” in this film looks a lot like White Rock Lake and when I first saw this film, I was convinced it had actually been filmed down here in Dallas. However, I subsequently found that there actually is a Crater Lake up in Oregon. There’s no word yet on whether or not there’s any monsters living in that lake but you have to figure there would be, what with it being Oregon and all.

2) Shogun Assassin (1980)

Just the story of a single dad and his baby. Awwwwww!

3) 100 Rifles (1969)

Obviously, this was one of the many American attempts to make a Spaghetti western. “This film has a message…”

4) Soylent Green (1973)

Yes, we all know what’s in Soylent Green.

5) Xtro (1982)

Oh my God, this trailer freaks me out!

6) Scarface (1983)

Oh, stop it. I don’t care how many “respectable” actors are in the film, you know that Scarface is like totally a grindhouse film.

The 2012 Oscar Nominations

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, it had to happen eventually. The actual, real-life Oscar nominations were announced this morning and it’s the usual handful of good nominations surrounded by a lot of boring Bleh. I guess the big news would be the upsets that I predicted –Michael Fassbender being overlooked for Demian Bichir and David Fincher failing to get a nomination for becoming a living parody with his rehash of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. However, before you Fincherites go out to sit in the garage with the car running, you can take solace that sweet, nonthreatening Rooney Mara was nominated for turning one of the strongest female characters ever into a simpering fool.

(Please note, that my comment about Rooney Mara reflects my opinion and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the rest of the staff here at the Shattered Lens. At this site, as opposed to a certain other site that talks about awards on a daily basis, differing opinions are not only allowed but appreciated.)

Anyway, here’s a list of nominees. If a film is listed in bold print, that means that film also appears on my list of who and what I personally would have nominated. As should quickly become apparent, me and the Academy have agreed to disagree.

Best Picture
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“The Help”
“Moneyball”
“War Horse”
“The Tree of Life”

(Wow, I nominated 10 films and the Academy nominated 9 and we still only agreed on two. What upsets me about this list of nominees is that now, I’m going to have to go see Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Bleh.)

Best Actor
Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

(Nice to see Oldman score his first ever Oscar nomination but seriously, no Michael Fassbender? No Michael Shannon?)

Best Actress
Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

(Don’t even get me started. No Charlize Theron? No Elizabeth Olsen? Did Glenn Close really look like she could pass for a man? Was Rooney Mara really all that good or were they just reacting to the fact that she’s a cute girl pretending to be troubled?)

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max Von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

(I am happy to see Hill nominated and I realize that Andy Serkis was a long shot but, seriously, no Albert Brooks?)

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

(Yay for McCarthy! I imagine Spencer will win this one.)

Best Director
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
JC Chandor, “Margin Call”
Asghar Farhadi, “A Separation”
Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, “Bridesmaids”

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxton, Jim Rash, “The Descendants”
John Logan, “Hugo”
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, “The Ides of March”
Aaron Sorkin, Steven Zaillian, “Moneyball”
Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughn, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

(Oh yay! Another chance to hear a charming Sorkin acceptance speech. Yes, that’s sarcasm. I don’t care if he did tell his daughter to go to bed last year, every pompous ass who wins an award on television does that. And seriously, The Ides of March for best screenplay?)

Best Animated Feature
“A Cat In Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Kung Fu Panda 2”
“Puss in Boots”
“Rango”

(I wonder if Steven Spielberg is cursing right now? No director nomination and no Adventures of TinTin.)

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Bullhead (Belgium)
Footnote (Israel)
In Darkness (Poland)
Monsieur Lazhar (Canada)
A Separation (Iran)

Original Score
“The Adventures of Tintin,” John Williams
“The Artist,” Ludovic Bource
“Hugo,” Howard Shore
“Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” Alberto Iglesias
“War Horse,” John Williams

(At the risk of sounding like I’m writing over on AwardsDaily.com, NO FILM HAD A BETTER SCORE THAN HANNA)

Best Original Song
“Man or Muppet,” The Muppets; Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
“Real in Rio,” Rio; Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, Lyric by Siedah Garrett

(Wow! Only two nominations here! I guess they really didn’t want to have to deal with scary old Madonna showing up and I don’t blame them!)

Best Achievement in Art Direction
“The Artist”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“War Horse”

Best Achievement in Cinematography
“The Artist”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“The Tree of Life”
“War Horse”

Best Achievement in Costume Design
“Anonymous”
“The Artist”
“Hugo”
“Jane Eyre”
“W.E.”

(Really? Anonymous? I guess they were really impressed with Derek Jacobi’s scarf.)

Best Documentary Feature
“Hell and Back Again”
“If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front”
“Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory”
“Pina”
“Undefeated”

(I finally saw Paradise Lost 3 last night, too late to include it on my personal list of Oscar nominees, but I strongly recommend it. It’s a truly powerful documentary.)

Best Documentary Short Subject
“The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement?”
“God Is the Bigger Elvis”
“Incident in New Baghdad”
“Saving Face”
“The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom”

Best Achievement in Film Editing
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”

Best Achievement in Makeup
“Albert Nobbs”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“The Iron Lady”

Best Animated Short Film
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

Best Live Action Short Film
“Pentecost”
“Raju”
“The Shore”
“Time Freak”
“Tuba Atlantic”

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
“Drive”
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
“Hugo”
“Moneyball”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
“War Horse”

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“Hugo”
“Real Steel”
“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”

‘Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon”

So, what can I say? Obviously, with a few exceptions, I don’t agree with the Academy but that’s okay. I know what I like and I’m more than happy to leave room on the bandwagon for someone with a brain made of stone.

No Guts, No Glory: Lisa Marie Attempts To Predict The Actual Oscar Nominees

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, because I love being punished (oh yes), here are my predictions for which films and performers will recieve Oscar nominations in the 6 major categories tomorrow morning. As opposed to my previous post on the Oscars, these are the films that I expect to see nominated (as opposed to who and what I personally would like to see nominated.)

Best Picture

The Artist

The Descendants

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Bleh! Not happy about this one)

The Help

Hugo

Midnight In Paris

Best Director

Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris

Michel Hazanvicius for The Artist

Alexander Payne for The Descendants

Martin Scorsese for Hugo

Tate Taylor for The Help

(Yes, I’m going out on a limb and making a random prediction for Taylor. If I’m wrong, I’ll still be 4 for 5. And if I’m right, then I’ll be a freaking genius.)

Best Actor

Demian Bichir for A Better Life

George Clooney for The Descendants

Leonardo DiCaprio for J. Edgar

Jean Dujardin for The Aritst

Brad Pitt for Moneyball

(Yes, I am predicting that Michael Fassbender will be passed over in favor of a more politically correct nomination for Bichir. There’s always at least one brilliant performance and film that is ignored and I think that this year, it’ll be Fassbender and Shame in general.)

Best Actress

Viola Davis for The Help

Rooney Mara for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (bleh)

Meryl Streep for The Irony Lady

Tilda Swinton for We Need To Talk About Kevin

Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn

Best Supporting Actor

Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn

Albert Brooks for Drive

Jonah Hill for Moneyball

Nick Nolte for Warrior

Christopher Plummer for Beginners

Best Supporting Actress

Berenice Bejo for The Artist

Jessica Chastain for The Help

Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs

Octavia Spencer for The Help

Shailene Woodley for The Descendants

What If Lisa Marie Was In Charge of the Golden Raspberry Awards

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you’re following the Awards ceremony, you know that two major events are coming up next week. On Tuesday, the Oscar nominations will be announced. But before that, on Monday, the Golden Raspberry Award nominations will be announced. For 32 years, the Golden Raspberries have been honoring the worst films of the year and they’ve always served as a nice counterpoint to the self-congratulatory nature of the Academy Awards.

Now, on Monday night, I’ll be posting what I would nominate if I was in charge of the Oscars but first, I’d like to show you what I’d nominate if I was solely responsible for making the Golden Raspberry nominations.

Now before anyone leaves me any pissy comments, these are not predictions. I know that these are not the actual nominations. I know that the actual Golden Raspberry nominations will probably look a lot different. These are just my individual picks.

(My “winners” are listed in bold print.)

Worst Picture

Anonymous

The Conspirator

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

The Rum Diary

Straw Dogs

Worst Actor

Daniel Craig in Dream House, Cowboys and Aliens, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Aaron Eckhardt in Battle: Los Angeles

James Marsden in Straw Dogs

James McAvoy in The Conspirator

Brandon Routh in Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Worst Actress

Kate Bosworth in Straw Dogs

Anita Briem in Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Claire Foy in Season of the Witch

Brit Marling in Another Earth

Sara Paxton in Shark Night: 3-D

Worst Supporting Actor

Paul Giamatti in The Ides of March

Mel Gibson (as the Beaver) in The Beaver

Sir Derek Jacobi in Anonymous

Giovanni Ribisi in The Rum Diary

James Woods in Straw Dogs

Worst Supporting Actress

Jennifer Ehle in Contagion

Amber Heard in The Rum Diary

Willa Holland in Straw Dogs

Vanessa Redgrave in Anonymous

Oliva Wilde in Cowboys and Aliens

Worst Director

Roland Emmerich for Anonymous

Rod Lurie for Straw Dogs

Kevin Munroe for Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Robert Redford for The Conspirator

Bruce Robinson for The Rum Diary

Worst Screenplay

Anonymous, written by John Orloff.

Another Earth, written by Mike Cahill and Brit Marling

The Beaver, written by Kyle Killen

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, written by Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer.

Straw Dogs, written by Rod Lurie.

(That’s right, it’s a tie.)

Worst Screen Couple

Rhys Ifans and Joeley Richardson in Anonymous

Rhys Ifans and Vanessa Redgrave in Anonymous

Brit Marling and any breathing creature in Another Earth

Mel Gibson and The Beaver in The Beaver

James Marsden and Kate Bosworth in Straw Dogs

Worst Prequel, Sequel, or Remake

Arthur

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Scream 4

Straw Dogs

Transformers 3

6 Trailers For 6 Films That Were Snubbed By The Academy

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Seeing as how the Oscar nominations are due to be announced on Tuesday, I thought I would devote this edition to Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers to films that were snubbed by the Academy. Remember them while you’re watching Rooney Mara accept best actress.

1) A Life of Ninja (1983)

Despite the colorful trailer, this film was not nominated for best Costume Design, Art Design, or Cinematography. Instead, all three of those awards went to Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander.

2) The Shark Hunter (1979)

Franco Nero was not nominated for best actor for his performance here. Instead Dustin Hoffman won for Kramer vs. Kramer.

3) The Terrornauts (1967)

The true terror is that the 1967 Oscar for Special Visual Effects went to Doctor Dolittle and not The Terrornauts.

4) Americathon (1979)

The Academy has never really appreciated hard-hitting political satire which perhaps explains why the previously mentioned Kramer Vs. Kramer won best picture while Americathon was not even nominated.

5) Don’t Torture A Duckling (1972)

The Oscar for Best Foreign language film of 1972 was given to Luis Bunuel’s The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and not to Lucio Fulci’s classic giallo Don’t Torture A Duckling.

6) The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

And yet somehow, Annie Hall was named best picture.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. I also got on twitter and made a lot of snarky comments. People seemed to enjoy it and for that reason, I say, “Yay!”

Why Was I Watching It?

Because I am an awards show junkie! Seriously, those glue sniffers on Intervention don’t have anything on me when it comes to craving the excess, glamour, and foolishness of a big, silly Hollywood awards show! Add to that, this is still a fairly wide open Oscar season and the Golden Globes are, as they always say on E!, a “precursor to the Oscars.” Winning a Golden Globe usually guarantees at least an Oscar nomination. Plus — Ricky Gervais was back to host and like a lot of people last night, I spent the minutes before the ceremony asking myself, “What ever will he say!?” in feverish anticipation.

What Was It About?

For the past 69 years, the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have thrown a big banquet in January and given out a lot of awards to various TV and movie stars. Nobody’s really sure who the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are and, to be honest, the Golden Globes always have a slightly unsavory air to them. There’s always more than a few nominations that mostly seem to be designed to get famous people to show up at the ceremony, Last year, they nominated the Tourist, this year they nominated The Ides of March. Anyway, the Golden Globes are distinguished by the Oscars by the fact that they serve alcohol during the show and, in the past, someone’s always ended up giving a drunken acceptance speech or launching into an incoherent political rant and, for the past few weeks, we’ve been told that with Ricky Gervais returning to host the 69th annual banquet, anything could happen and probably would! Yay!

What Worked

Last night, I mentioned on twitter that if nothing interesting happened on the Globes or if Ricky somehow failed to deliver the expected amount of snark then I would devote this section of my review to talking about my boobs.

With that in mind, what can I say except that they’re a little big and heavy and they pretty much ended my dreams of being a ballerina but I like my boobs, or as I call them Pride and Joy. They go great with every outfit I own and I’m pretty sure that they’re also the reason why I’ve never had to pay a speeding ticket. Plus, they allowed me to say stuff like, “I should be Ms. Golden Globes!” while I was watching the show last night…

Actually, I’m being a little bit unfair to the Golden Globes (the awards ceremony, not my boobs). The tribute to Morgan Freeman was well-done and was probably the high point of the ceremony but then again, how can you go wrong with Morgan Freeman? Seriously, when I’m on the verge of doing something silly (like using a review of the Golden Globes to show off my boobs) , I imagine Morgan Freeman saying, “Now, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Fashion-wise, I saw a lot of red dresses last night and that made me happy because I look really good in red.

Among the winners, Christopher Plummer (Best Supporting Actor for Beginners), Jean Dujardin (Best Actor In A Comedy Motion Picture for The Artist), Martin Scorsese (Best Director for Hugo), and Claire Danes (Best Actress In A Dramatic TV Show for Homeland) all gave good and classy acceptance speeches that made me feel good to be alive. And Uggie the dog was so adorable up there on stage when The Artist won Best Motion Picture Comedy. Actually, speaking of The Artist, it was kinda nice to see so many French people accepting awards last night. (Oh, stop it! I love France!)

I enjoyed it when Madonna won for best song because she was so shocked that she forgot to speak in her fake accent.

On an admittedly petty note, Rooney Mara did not win Best Actress for David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and that amused me greatly because I knew that all the little AwardsDaily Fincherites were torn about how to whine about Mara losing with coming across as if they were criticizing Meryl Streep for winning.

What Did Not Work

So, let’s start with the main problem. Last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was so respectable and predictable and slow that it might as well have just been the Oscars. Ricky Gervais started out the ceremony by telling us that he had signed an agreement to not make any offensive or outrageous statements and then he did just that. What’s especially annoying is that Ricky didn’t seem to be neutering himself as an act of protest or anything of the sort. Instead, he just came across like he was too smug and sure-of-himself to realize that he was bombing. It was as if he just expected his reputation to convince us that he was being funny and outrageous without actually being funny and outrageous. Last year, Ricky Gervais skewered Hollywood phonies. This year, Ricky Gervais was a Hollywood phony. I sat there waiting for him to say just one thing that could potentially end his career and he refused to do it.

But Ricky wasn’t alone. Seriously, where were the drunk winners launching into incoherent politically themed rants. I mean, it’s an election year for God’s sake. People on twitter were using the occasion to make all sorts of silly and naive political statements but the actual celebrities — the people who we depend on to act like a bunch of dumbasses — just sat there in this sort of placid anxiety like they were waiting for someone to show up for an intervention.

BLEH!

The majority of the night’s acceptance speeches were neither good nor bad. They were just boring. Listen, Meryl Streep is a great actress and I have no problem with her being recognized and awarded for her talent but oh my God, I nearly fell asleep trying to listen to her. Now, if Meryl (or any other winner) had gotten up on stage and started slurring her words or making dirty jokes or something like that, it would have made for great television. (Though I do have to give Meryl some credit for being the only winner to get bleeped.)

The Descendants won Best Motion Picture Drama but seriously, it’s hard for me to accept that this well-made but essentially unchallenging and rather forgettable film is now the Oscar front-runner. Seriously. Much as with every other award it has won, The Descendants felt like something of a compromise choice and, considering that Scorsese won best director, it’s hard to gauge just how much momentum the Descendants is going to get from this victory.

Oh! And another thing that sucked — how did George Clooney win a Golden Globe for essentially playing the same character he always plays while Michael Fassbender’s brilliant work in Shame was ignored? What type of game is that?

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

: To quote Joan Crawford, “I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!”

Lessons Learned

This is shaping up to be one of the worst Oscar seasons in recent history. Seriously, if just one deserving film or performance wins in February, I will be amazed.

6 Trailers That Did Not Win Any Golden Globes

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First off, allow me to again apologize for being late with my weekly trailer post. I had some asthma issues that basically left me fairly useless on both Friday and Saturday. Still, better late than never. In this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers, we acknowledge some films that were NOT nominated for Golden Globes.

1) The Flesh Eaters (1964)

I just recently got this one on DVD but I haven’t watched it yet. Of course, I love any trailer that starts out with a countdown.

2) Beach Girls and the Monster (1965)

The star of the film (which apparently co-stars the Watusi Dancing Girls), John Hall, was briefly a star back in the 1930s. This was his attempt at a comeback film and he ended up committing suicide after it was released.

3) Blast-Off Girls (1967)

This film was directed by the infamous Herschell Gordon Lewis. I want to be a blast-off girl!

4) Monsters Crash The Pajama Party (1969)

I don’t own this one on DVD, mostly because I’m kinda scared that if I watch it, a monster will pop out of the TV screen and try to drag me off to somewhere.