Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/5/25 — 1/11/25

Posted on January 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week as I waited for the snow to arrive.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

The idea of the dark and cynical It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossing over with the earnest Abbott Elementary sounds like something that shouldn’t work but, instead, it worked brilliantly. Dee becoming Janine’s best friend and then trying to steal away Gregory was brilliant. I was so proud of Charlie, learning how to read at a kindergarten level. Barbara is a wonderful teacher.

Check It Out (Tubi)

Look for my review later tonight.

Dark (Netflix)

As the snow fell in Texas, Case and I watched two more episodes of Dark. We’ll have to get around to reviewing this intriguing German show soon.

Degrassi High (Tubi)

Look for my review tomorrow!

Doc (Tuesday Night, Fox)

This is a new show about a doctor who has amnesia. I feel like this show is going to be limited by the fact that she’s going to have to get her memory back at some point. I watched the premiere but I don’t remember much about it. Maybe I’ve got amnesia!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Going Dutch (Thursday Night, Fox)

The second episode of Going Dutch, much like the pilot, didn’t do much for me. I doubt I’ll be watching the third episode.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

It’s black jacket time! I felt sorry for Amanda, who I would have kept over the eternally aggrieved Whit. That said, it’s pretty obvious that Brandon’s going to win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

You can read my review here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

Kitchen Nightmares has returned for another season. Chef Ramsay is in New Orleans, helping terrible restaurants prepare for the Super Bowl. This week featured part one of the two-part season premiere. I think that the restaurant that Ramsay is trying to help is a lost cause but we’ll see what happens next week. Nothing kills my appetite quicker than a cockroach-filled episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

You can read my review here!

Monsters (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

I started reviewing Pacific Blue this week. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this decision.

Shifting Gears (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Tim Allen will always be Buzz Lightyear to me and I like Kat Dennings but the first episode of their new sitcom didn’t do much for me. They really should just call it Last Auto Mechanic Standing.

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test (Thursday Night, Fox)

A bunch of middle-aged celebs are put through special forces training and are ridiculed when they drop out. Telling 50-somethings Stephen Baldwin and Denise Richards that they failed themselves by not completing the training feels a bit silly. Baldwin dropped out because he didn’t want to get hurt because it would cost him an acting job he had lined up. (As far as I can tell, that’s a totally understandable concern.) Richards was accused of being a princess because she didn’t want to drown. Unless the goal is to actually put together a unit of out-of-shape commandos, how about giving it a rest with the whole, “The Corp doesn’t want quitters!” routine?

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Prime)

You can read my review here!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”

Posted on January 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, season 5 comes to an end.

Episode 5.22 “The Ghost’s Story/The Spoilers”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on May 8th, 1982)

The latest batch of guests are arriving and Julie is nowhere to be seen! Perhaps that’s because, as Mr. Roarke explains to Tattoo, Julie is helping out a guest who has an invisibility fantasy. Tattoo and Roarke watch as the guest walks by. His body may be invisible but his pants are not.

This is the final episode of the fifth season and it’s also the final episode in which Wendy Schaal will be credited as a part of the cast. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Julie character but it still seems like a bit of a shame that she didn’t get to do anything in the finale. Then again, this episode doesn’t really feel like a finale. I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes during the fifth season but it’s hard not to feel, with the way that Julie and Tattoo have randomly shown up in different stories, that the season’s episodes were not shown in the order in which they were filmed. Maybe all the Julie episodes were filmed at one time, while Herve Villechazie was off doing something else. Who knows? It’s just been a strange season.

That’s all wonderful and interesting, Lisa …. But what about this week’s fantasies!? you may be asking.

They both feel a bit familiar. That’s not always a bad thing, of course. Fantasy Island is a comfort show and a part of the comfort is knowing that things are always going to play out in a certain way. But, with this episode, both fantasies felt as if they had been done better in the past.

Harry (Bo Hopkins) is a bounty hunter who comes to the Island to track down fugitive Nick Tanner (Robert Fuller). Nick has been accused of robbing a bank and is hiding out on a nearby island. Harry goes to the island but he soon discovers that Nick is innocent and that the real bank robbers have also come to the island in search of Nick. Luckily, there’s a widow named Juliet (Jo Ann Pflug) who is also living on the island. Harry and Nick hide out at her place before they all team up to defeat the real bank robbers. Nick and Juliet fall in love and Mr. Roarke performs one of his trademark wedding ceremonies. Nick and Juliet then board the plane back to America and …. wait a minute, what about Harry? It was his fantasy! We don’t ever see Harry leave Fantasy Island. Maybe he’s still living there.

(Personally, I think he married Julie and that’s why she was no longer working there once season six began. I like that. Consider it to be canon.)

The other fantasy is a haunted house story. Amanda Parsons (Tanya Roberts) comes all the way from Baltimore to spend 24 hours in one of Fantasy Island’s many haunted houses. Two other paranormal investigators attempt to do it before Amanda but they end up fleeing after two minutes. I’m not sure why. The manor looks creepy but it turns out that the ghost is a rather wimpy and not at all frightening guy named Timothy Black (Dack Rambo). Cursed by his own father after Timothy refused to fight a duel with Captain Fitzhugh Ross (John McCook), Timothy has spent two hundred years haunting the old manor. Amanda takes sympathy on him. It turns out that Ross’s descendant is also on the Island. Timothy challenges him to a duel, causing the latest Ross to run in fear. Timothy and his ghost dad (John Myhers) realize it’s okay to be scared of getting shot. Ghost Dad asks Roarke to bring Timothy back to life so that he can pursue his romance with Amanda. Roarke does just that, despite the fact that, in many previous episodes, Roarke has specifically said that he cannot bring the dead back to life.

Usually, I enjoy Fantasy Island‘s haunted house fantasies but this one didn’t do much for me. I think it’s because the ghost was just too wimpy. There’s nothing more annoying than a whiny a dead guy,

And so ends this very odd season. Next week, we being season 6!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.21 “The Big Bet/Nancy and the Thunderbirds”

Posted on December 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s the last Julie episode.

Episode 5.21 “The Big Bet/Nancy and the Thunderbirds”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on May 1st, 1982)

Because I’ve got a cold and I’ve still got a lot to do for the holidays, I’m only going to do a mini-review for this episode. It’s not a very good episode so the less time spent talking about it, the better.

I knew this episode wasn’t going to be my cup of tea when Julie was the one who greeted Mr. Roarke as he stepped out of his office. That’s nothing against Wendy Schaal, the actress who played Julie. It’s just that the episodes in which Julie helps out Roarke are never as good as the Tattoo episodes. Ricardo Montalban and Wendy Schaal just didn’t have the same type of entertaining chemistry as Montalban and Herve Villechaize.
I think a huge part of the problem with Julie is that she is Roarke’s goddaughter and spends a lot of time looking up to him and treating him like a father figure. Tattoo and Roarke were, more or less, equals and they could relate to each other on a much more honest and, by the standards of the show, realistic fashion.
As for the fantasies, neither one is very interesting.
Mary Ann Mobley plays Nancy Carsons, who was adopted and raised by an Indian chief. Nancy]s fantasy is to fulfil the Chief’s prophecy and conquer a thunderbird. Apparently, only by doing this can Nancy prevent the tribe from falling apart when the Chief dies. The problem is that the thunderbird is a mythological bird who does not exactly exist.
However, there is a squadron of airplanes known as the Thunderbirds and they’re visiting Fantasy Island. Can Nancy, who is a licensed pilot, fly one of those plans and kind of make the prophecy come true?
Of course, she does! And she also falls in love with Major Wood (Patrick Wayne) so, not only is the Tribe saved but Nancy will now be doing even more flying.
If the Thunderbirds fantasy was just kind of bland, the “Big Bet” fantasy is downright offensive, with Corky Daniels (John James) making a bet with his co-workers that he can have sex with Playpen model, Judy Moreau (Lydia Cornell). Judy just happens to be on the Island, accompanied by Playpen published ~~Hugh Hefner~~ Al Henshaw (Edd Byrnes).
Corky tells Judy a lot of lies to get her to fall for him. When Judy finds out about the bet, she’s so upset that she …. sleeps with Corky anyways. But then Corky doesn’t tell his friends about sleeping with Judy and loses the bet which proves to Judy that he really does love her.
Now, let’s give credit where credit it due. Both Roarke and Julie tell Corky that he’s being a sexist pig. I always like it when Roarke gets offended with his guest’s because Montalban always seemed to enjoy playing up Roarke’s anger. Mr. Roarke comes across as being the perfect host but you don’t want to get him mad.
Corky and Judy leave the Island together. Judy should have tossed Corky in the lagoon.

We’ve got one episode left in season 5. I checked and it’s a Tattoo episode, which means this week’s episode was Julie’s grand finale. Unfortunately, it’s not really much of a finale. Julie’s sudden presence on the Island was never really adequately explained, though it was kind of nice to be reminded that there’s always a lot taking place on the Island and Roarke doesn’t always have time to oversee every little thing. I suppose Roarke probably has many assistants who we rarely see.

Because of the holidays, this is my final Fantasy Island review of 2024. I will resume reviewing Fantasy Island on January 7th!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

Posted on December 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Tattoo is still missing.

Episode 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 10th, 1982)

Amnesiac Ellen Layton (Jill St. John) comes to the Island in hopes of remembering who she was in her past life. Ever since she was tossed off a horse and struck her head, Ellen has not been able to recall a single detail of her old life. Roarke agrees to help, using another one of those magic plants that seem to grow in abundance on Fantasy Island. However, Roarke also shows Julie a hologram that reveals that, in her previous life, Ellen was a ruthless businesswoman who fired people at the drop of a hat.

As quickly becomes obvious, amnesiac Ellen is far happier than corporate Ellen. Afterall, amnesiac Ellen has all sorts of friends on the Island and she even has sleazy Mike Collins (Dan Gautier) pretending to be in love with her. (In what I believe is a Fantasy Island first, we hear the thoughts of Mike and several other men when they first learn that the wealthy and beautiful Ellen can’t remember anything about her past life.) But when Ellen’s real husband (Brett Halsey) comes to the Island looking for her, she has to decide if she wants to go back to who she used to be or if she wants to continue being the carefree amnesiac that she’s been for the last several months. Which will she choose?

You already know the answer to that one. Ellen’s fantasy really wasn’t that interesting. I preferred the first part of the show’s other fantasy. Two game show hosts (Gene Rayburn and Jan Murray), who are both in love with the same woman (Vikki Carr), come to the Island because they want to compete in the ultimate game show. Roarke actually sets up a game show for them, with himself as host and a studio audience. The two men are asked a question. The first man to answer correctly is given the choice of opening one of four doors. Three of the doors contain prizes, like love and money. The other door is the …. DOOR OF DEATH!

One of the joys of this episode is watching Ricardo Montalban play a game show host. He appears to be having a blast, especially when he gets to dramatically remind the two contestants about “the Door of Death!” And, while the two men do manage to open up two of the doors successfully (leading one contestant rescuing Vikki Carr from being burned at the stake as a witch and the other contestant robbing a 1920s bank), the third door that the two men open is THE DOOR OF DEATH!

Unfortunately, the Door of Death turns out to be a bit anticlimatic. The two men and the women they love have to survive in the wilderness while being pursued by an archer whose fantasy is to — *sigh* — hunt the most dangerous prey of all, man. The show just did a Most Dangerous Game knock-off just two episodes ago so why do it again? Fortunately, both of the game show hosts and the woman they’re fighting over survive. They leave the Island together, their love triangle unresolved.

The game show had a lot of potential but this episode was disappointing. Unfortunately, Tattoo was not in this episode and Julie served as Roarke’s assistant. Nothing against Julie but the whole game show thing seemed like it would have been a perfect set up for some Roarke/Tattoo banter. This show was definitely better with Tattoo than without him.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/24/24 — 11/30/24

Posted on November 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Spending this Thanksgiving week with my sisters, I didn’t watch a lot of television. I did watch and review episodes of Homicide, Degrassi High, Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, and Monsters.

And, earlier today, I watched episodes of CHiPs, Degrassi High, Baywatch Nights, Monsters, Malibu CA, Check It Out, and Friday the 13th: The Series and I wrote up reviews that will post over the course of the upcoming week. It’s always nice to have a head start on all of that.

On Tuesday, Erin and I watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Charlie Brown really was way too nice about Peppermint Patty inviting herself over to his house and then getting upset over being served popcorn. Myself, I love the fact that Snoopy had a fully cooked turkey that he basically hid from everyone else until it was just him and Woodstock at the house.

On Wednesday, I watched the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen. I was not surprised to see Lulu eliminated. I hope Brandon wins this season.

I watched bits of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and also the four football games that were played on Thursday. My cousins were really into the football games. I said I thought it would be nice if everyone could win and I got booed and accused of being a commie. As for the parade, it just made me wish that I was in New York to see it in person. Maybe next year!

On Friday, I watched episodes of two old 90s shows — Rollergames and Happy Hour. They were both enjoyably dumb.

And that’s it for this week!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”

Posted on November 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. hey, where’s Tattoo!?

Episode 5.19 “Face of Love/Image of Celeste”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on March 20th, 1982)

Once again, as I did with Miami Vice and CHiPs, I am going to save time by doing this review bullet-point style. It’s the holidays, after all.

After two (or was it three) weeks of just Roarke and Tattoo, this episode features only Julie as Roarke’s assistant. Apparently, Tattoo has been busy helping a guest fulfill a “Cinderella fantasy” but things have gone wrong. The carriage turned back into a pumpkin. The horses turned back into mice and are now running all over the Island. Tattoo is not seen in this episode, which is a shame because the last few episodes (featuring only him and Roarke) really did feel like a throw-back to the first two seasons of the show.
It’s been kind of weird during this season, continually hearing that various fantasies are going wrong. That’s not the Fantasy Island that we all know. Fantasy Island has previously been portrayed as a place where Roarke would never allow anything to truly go wrong.
Julie doesn’t really do anything as Roarke’s assistant in this episode. Roarke tells her who each guest is and gives her the details of their fantasy but that’s pretty much it.
Laura Jensen (Erin Gray) has spent her life with a face that was scarred during a housefire. She’s grown up to be bitter and angry. She’s just gotten out of prison and she’s brought to the Island by her parole officer, Ron (Monte Markham). Ron’s fantasy is for Laura’s scars to go away so that Laura can let go of her anger and live a norma;l life.
Though initially weary, Laura is amazed when Roarke gives her a magical cream that causes her scars to temporarily vanish. In fact, Laura appears to be ready to get on with her life and accept that she and Ron are in love. But then Laura’s sleazy ex (Larry Manetti) shows up and tempts her back to her old ways. Don’t worry. It all works out in the end and Ron and Laura leave as a couple. However, I get the feeling that Ron’s going to lose his job as a parole officer. Falling in love with a parolee and taking a tropical vacation with her seems like something that would go against every rule in the book.
The other fantasy was slightly more interesting, if just because it featured Paul Gauguin. When Celeste Vallon (Joanne Pettet) discovers that Roarke owns a Gauguin portrait of a woman who looks just like her, Celeste requests to go back to the past and be that woman. Roarke agrees, even though he warns her that she will also have to make a very serious decision, one that could change history.
Right away, this fantasy ran into a major stumbling block. The Gauguin painting looked absolutely nothing like something that Gauguin, one of the great post-impressionists, would have painted. Instead, it’s a very conventional painting.
The second stumbling block is that the legendary and charismatic Gauguin is played by the handsome but mild-mannered Robert Goulet.
What Celeste discovers is that she is directly descended from the woman in Gauguin’s painting. The woman was Gauguin’s mistress and was engaged, against her will, to marry a soldier (Christopher Stone). If Celeste agrees to remain with Gauguin, then Gauguin will never paint another painting. If Celeste agrees to return to France, her ancestor will lose the love of her life but Gauguin will continue to paint.
Celeste chooses not to change history. Good for her! Of course, that’s kind of an easy decision to make when Celeste isn’t the one who is actually going to have to live the rest of her life in Paris, dreaming of returning to Tahiti and Gauguin.
I wanted to like this episode more than I did. The parole officer bringing one of his parolees to the Island felt strange to me and the Gauguin story would have worked if the painter had been anyone other than the Paul Gauguin. If they had come up with a fictional painter, perhaps Goulet would have seemed more appropriate in the role. As it was, this episode felt bland and miscast.
Herve Villechaize was an accomplished painter so it’s a shame he wasn’t present for the Gauguin story. It’s previously been established that Tattoo is quite a painter himself so this episode definitely feels like a missed opportunity.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”

Posted on November 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Smiles, everyone!

Episode 5.18 “Sitting Duck/Sweet Suzi Swann”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 6th, 1982)

Once again, Julie is not involved in either of this week’s fantasies. At the start of the episode, Roarke tells Tattoo that Julie has been trying to help a guest whose fantasy was to introduce “women’s lib” to cavemen. A woman then runs by while being chased by a caveman. Apparently, the fantasy did not go well. I’m a bit worried that Julie might lose her job because none of the fantasies that she’s involved with ever seem to go well.

As for this week’s guests, Chuck Conners shows up as Frank Barton. Barton is a big-game hunter. He has hunted and conquered almost every type of animal. Now, he wants to hunt the most dangerous animal of all …. okay, okay, you’ve heard all this before. This is not the first time that Fantasy Island has looked to The Most Dangerous Game for inspiration. However, this is the first time that the show has featured a hunter who specifically wants to stalk Mr. Roarke.

It’s a bit of an odd fantasy, though. Frank doesn’t want to chase Mr. Roarke through the forest or anything like that. Instead, Frank just wants to plant booby traps around the Island. If Mr. Roarke survives 24 hours, he’ll be fee to set a few traps of his own. Roarke agrees, explaining to Tattoo that, if Frank doesn’t come after him then he’ll go after someone else. Roarke is doing the world a favor by distracting Frank.

Frank tries, he really does. He tries poison. He tries explosives. Even though Mr. Roarke agrees not to use any of his “special powers,” he always manages to stay a step or two ahead of Frank. Finally, Frank kidnaps Tattoo and that’s when Mr. Roarke says enough of this. If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. Roarke beat up a guest, this is the episode for you. Frank ends up leaving the Island in the custody of two burly men who are apparently going to check him into a mental hospital. Frank got his fantasy but it didn’t turn out well for him. At least he wasn’t trying to reason with cavemen….

Meanwhile, Suzi Swann (Helen Reddy) comes to the Island with her boss, fashion designer Jack Becker (George Maharis). Suzi is in love with Jack but Jack takes her for granted. Suzi’s fantasy is to fall out of love with him and …. wait a minute! Didn’t Helen Reddy sing “I am Woman?” Why is the show wasting her time with this fantasy when they could have cast her as the guest who wanted to teach the cavemen about equality? If they had done that, Julie could have worked with Helen Reddy and Roarke and Tattoo would have been free to concentrate on Frank and his homicidal fantasy! I mean, I think it was a mistake to give Roarke two assistants for this season but if you’re going to have Julie around, at least let her take part in one of the main fantasies….

Oh well. Let’s get back to the fantasy that actually did happen.

Roarke gives Suzi some magic gumdrops that were apparently made with special Fantasy Island berries. The gumdrops make Suzi feel the opposite of whatever she previously felt. She takes one and immediately announced that she doesn’t like either Roarke or Tattoo. “You’re short!” Suzi says to Tattoo which …. ugh. That’s a terrible line, considering that the show has previously always treated Tattoo’s height with a good deal of sensitivity.

Suzi is no longer in love with Jack and instead, she finds herself attracted to the mysterious Claude Duvalle (James Darren). But the fact that she is no longer willing to be Jack’s doormat leads to Jack realizing that he failed to appreciate her. Jack falls in love with Suzi and Suzi falls back in love with Jack.

As Suzi and Jack leave together, Tattoo suggests that Rorake failed to give Suzi her fantasy. Roarke explains that Suzi fell out of love with the old Jack but then she fell in love with the new Jack so actually, he totally succeeded. Uhm….whatever you say, Mr. Roarke.

Roarke then takes a magic gumball and tells Tattoo, “I don’t like you.”

AGCK! But actually, the gumball makes its user for the opposite of what they actually feel so Mr. Roarke actually does like Tattoo! Awwww! I’m glad that’s cleared up.

I enjoyed this episode. Much like last week’s episode it felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island. Neither fantasy really made much sense but both Roarke and Tattoo got to do a lot and that really made all the difference. Fantasy Island always works best when Roarke and Tattoo are more than just bystanders.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.17 “Funny Man/Tattoo, The Matchmaker”

Posted on November 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Smiles, everyone! Smiles!

Episode 5.17 “Funny Man/Tattoo, The Matchmaker”

(Dir by George W. Brooks, originally aired on February 20th, 1982)

For the second week in a row, Julie only appears in the stock footage at the start of the episode. And again, for the second week in a row, no mention is made of her. Mr. Roarke doesn’t say anything about why she’s not greeting the guests at the docks. Tattoo doesn’t seem to care.

This is actually a big episode for Tattoo. It turns out that Tattoo has a side hustle going. He’s running a computer dating service! (This isn’t surprising. During the early seasons of the show, Tattoo always had some sort of extra money-making scheme going on.) He’s invited both Harriet Wilson (Laurie Walters) and Claudette Mills (Misty Rowe) to the Island so that they can be set up with the perfect future husband. Usually, Roarke isn’t happy when Tattoo invites people to the Island on his own but this time, he doesn’t seem to be too upset about it. He tells Tattoo that the two women and their fantasies will be his responsibility. At one point, Roarke even mentions that Tattoo is in charge of overseeing all of the weddings that occur on Fantasy Island. Does that include Mr. Roarke’s wedding from a few seasons ago?

However, there’s a problem. Tattoo’s big computer has decided that both Harriet and Claudette should marry Mr. Roarke. Tattoo and his business partner, Ambrose Tuttle (Skip Stephenson), think that the computer must be malfunctioning but Tattoo did promise the women that he would set them up with the most charming man on the Island and what better description is there for Mr. Roarke?

Mr. Roarke is not particularly amused to discover that he is now expected to marry two women who he doesn’t even know. Considering the tragic ending of Mr. Roarke’s previous marriage, this isn’t a huge shock. Roarke tells Tattoo that he has to find other husbands for both Harriet and Claudia. Fortunately, Amrbose Tuttle is single and a former football player (Russ Francis) has also come to the Island. Can Tattoo pull it off and help all four of these people fall in love? To quote Mr. Roarke, “Indeed, he can.” This is Fantasy Island!

Along with learning about Tattoo’s computer dating operation, we also learn about Tattoo’s favorite comedian. Beau Gillette (Jimmy Dean) has built a successful career telling jokes about his redneck family. What he’s never told anyone, including his fiancée (Vicki Lawrence), is that his family is imaginary. Beau grew up in an orphanage and created his family in his head so he wouldn’t be lonely. Beau’s fantasy is for his family to exist, just so he can introduce them to his fiancée. Mr. Roarke suggests that it might be a better idea for Beau to just tell the truth but Beau’s like, “Nah, let’s just bring imaginary people to life.”

While Beau’s performing his act, Uncle Jack (Morgan Woodward), grandma (Jeanette Nolan), and cousin Lindy (Linda Thompson Jenner) all come to life. The only problem is that they all know that they’re really imaginary and they’re not happy that Beau’s been thinking less about them and more about his fiancée. They decide that Lindy should break up Beau’s engagement by seducing him. And if they doesn’t work, they can just kill Beau’s fiancée….

Wow, that got dark!

Actually, this isn’t a very dark fantasy at all. Both fantasies are played largely for laughs. Beau, realizing that his imaginary family has been a crutch that he’s been using for too long, confesses that they don’t really exist and, as a result, they all fade away. Beau’s free to get married and I guess come up with new act. Yay!

Much like last week, this episode felt like a throwback to the early seasons of Fantasy Island. Tattoo got a storyline and Mr. Roarke was heavily involved in the fantasies, as opposed to just being a bystander. Both Herve Villechaize and Ricardo Montalban appeared to be having fun in this episode and, as a result, it was fun to watch, even if it was hard to buy into the idea the Beau Gillette’s rather anodyne jokes about his redneck family would have made him into a star. Largely due to Tattoo and his computer dating service, this was an enjoyable trip to the Island.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/3/24 — 11/9/24

Posted on November 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2024 U.S. Presidential Election Coverage (Tuesday and Wednesday)

On Tuesday, I swore to myself that I was going to vote and then we were going to go up to the lake and my plan was to basically stay off the grid until Friday. I wasn’t even going to think about the election. That did not last. As much as I tried to avoid the news, I still saw a few updates on twitter and soon, I was switching back and forth from Fox to CNN to MSNBC and then to all the other news stations.

To be honest, I kind of suspected Donald Trump was going to win after Kamala Harris picked Tim Walz for her vice president. The week leading up the election, however, I started to think that Harris was probably going to win. I started remembering how 2022 seemed like it was going to be a big year for Republicans, just for the Red Wave to fizzle on election night. I thought about how polls have never accurately reflected either Trump’s support or how Dobbs turned a lot of people into one-issue voters. I thought Harris would sweep Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin and win the election. It turns out that I was wrong about most of that!

This was the third presidential election in a row where I swore to myself that I wouldn’t think about it after I voted, just to later find myself then obsessively watching as the results came in.

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (FX, Tuesday Night)

The ninth episode focused on how the women who knew Aaron Hernandez dealt with him being arrest for murder. And to that, I can only say, “Who cares?” After nine hours of this show, the only lesson that I’ve learned is that Aaron Hernandez was a tremendous dumbass and the same can be said of the majority of the people around him.

I was super-excited because I thought this week’s episode was the series’ finale. It turns out that there’s one more episode to go. Next week, this show will finally wrap up and I won’t have to complain about it anymore.

Bar Rescue (Paramount, Weekday Mornings)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer turned a failing Irish bar into a failing western saloon. It wasn’t as much fun as the Pirate Bar episode.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check it Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode of Check It Out! will be posted in about 30 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (YouTube)

On Tuesday, I took a break from the election coverage and rewatched my two favorite episodes of Dragnet, the talk show episode and the night school episode.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

You can read my review here!

Good Times (Get TV, Weekday Afternoons)

I watched two episodes of this 70s sitcom on Monday afternoon. Carl, a grumpy old man, discovered that he had cancer and he left Chicago for Arizona so that he could deal with it. The most memorable moment of the two episodes came when Carl told Florida that he felt they should break up. “Oh my God!” someone in the studio audience shouted.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, Thursday Night)

Just as happened last week, the Blue Team triumphed and the Red Team crashed and burned. I’m enjoying this season. I like the fact that they’re all strong chefs. At this point, I feel like anyone could win.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

I wrote about Homicide here!

King of the Hill (FXX, Weekday Morning)

Before I left to vote on Tuesday, I watched four episodes of King of the Hill. What a great show, that was. To be honest, the fact that King of the Hill was canceled but Family Guy is still in production is all the evidence you need about the decline of American culture. As for the episodes I watched, my favorite was the one where Luanne became a boxer and George Foreman appeared as himself. “Novelty grill!?”

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I watched The Love Boat on Tuesday night, while sitting outside on the deck of my family’s lakehouse. That’s the best way to watch anything! I wrote about The Love Boat here.

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I wrote about Malibu, CA here!

The Megyn Kelly Show (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched the post-election episode of the Megyn Kelly Show. Whether you love her, hate her, or if you’re indifferent to her (as I often am), it was hard not to agree with her post-mortem on the election and the Harris campaign.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

You can read my review here!

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

I watched an episode of this old 80s music video program on Friday night. The music was good.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I can’t believe I paid money to watch this episode. You can read my review here.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

Posted on November 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Fantasy Island reminds us why we love this show in the first place.

Episode 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)

Now, this is a great episode!

Julie doesn’t appear in this episode, beyond the usual stock footage that appears at the start of every season 5 episode. In fact, Julie isn’t even mentioned in this episode. Instead, it’s Roarke and Tattoo all the way. Roarke and Tattoo greet the visitors together. Tattoo is the one who helps Roarke put the fantasies together. Roarke and Tattoo say goodbye to everyone at the end. In a way, this episode felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.

The fantasies feel like throwbacks to the first two seasons as well, with both of them featuring interesting guest stars and just enough twists to keep things interesting. We’ve got one comedic fantasy and one dramatic fantasy but the comedic fantasy is not too silly and the dramatic fantasy is not too serious. The episode manages to strike a pretty good balance between the two so, for once, neither fantasy feels rushed or short-changed.

The comedic fantasy features Kim Darby as Rebecca Walters, who wants to find a husband who is courteous and handsome. Tattoo takes her out to the magical Fantasy Island lagoon, where she meets a genie named …. well, he has a really long genie name but fortunately, he’s happy to be called Joe (Larry Linville). Joe can grant Rebecca three wishes. As always happens with genies, Rebecca wastes her first two wishes. For instance, when she says that it’s a little bit too warm for her, Joe grants her wish and temporarily turns Fantasy Island into a winter wonderland, complete with snow and Christmas music playing. (Seriously, the sight of snow on Fantasy Island was surprisingly charming, as was Tattoo’s shocked reaction.) In the end, of course, Rebecca comes to discover that she loves Joe. Joe transforms from a genie-into-a-man and they leave the Island together. It was a charming and cute fantasy. Both Darby and Linville seemed to be having fun with their roles and they had a surprising amount of chemistry together. This was a fun fantasy.

As for the dramatic fantasy, it allowed us to learn a little about the history of the Island. Apparently, centuries ago, the Island belonged to a Spanish sea captain. Ruthless tycoon Douglas Picard (Vic Morrow) came across the deed to the island after he moved into a villa that once belonged to the captain. Picard claims that the Island is legally his. Roarke points out that the deed is several centuries old and that it would take years for the legal system to sort out who owned what. Picard challenges Roarke to three challenges to decide who will own the island, challenges that will test the mind, body, and spirit of the two men. The person to win two of the matches also wins the Island. Roarke agrees.

Here’s the thing that I find interesting about all of this. First off, it’s implied that the Spanish sea captain was a part of the Spanish Armada. Why would the Spanish Armada have been in the South Pacific? Even more importantly, though, was the island still capable of granting fantasies when it was owned the Captain? Are the fantasies created by the Island or by Mr. Roarke? The case for the Island being magical can be found in this very episode, in which Tattoo takes Rebecca to a lagoon inhabited by a genie. Throughout the series, there have been many such locations on the Island. But Roarke himself is clearly more than just the charming owner of a resort. Ricardo Montalban once said that he felt Roarke was a fallen angel who was doing penance on the Island. That’s an interesting idea and would certainly explain why Roddy McDowall’s Devil always seemed to want to steal Roarke’s soul. Of course, the Blumhouse film and the recently-canceled reboot both suggested that Fantasy Island has had many different caretakers but I’m not sure that I consider either one of those to be canonical. I kind of like the idea Roarke having lived on the Island for centuries, like Richard on Lost.

Anyway, the three competitions are actually pretty interesting. The first one is a chess match that is won by Roarke. The second one features Roarke and Picard arm-wrestling over a killer spider. Roarke is in on the verge of winning that one but allows Picard to have the victory rather than kill him. The third competition is to do something selfless that improves someone else’s life. (I’m not sure how the winner would be selected but we’ll just go with it.) Picard gives money to a charity that he knows little about. Roarke, however, wins because he made Picard’s sister, Eunice (Jane Powell), happy by choosing not to kill Picard. Picard is so happy to finally see Eunice happy that he decides he doesn’t need to take ownership of Fantasy Island. Everyone leaves the Island a better person than they were when they arrived. Yay!

As I said before, this episode felt like a throwback to the earlier seasons of Fantasy Island. This was a great trip to the Island!