Faith Minton | Through the Shattered Lens

First released in 1990, Ski Patrol is the story of a …. well, a ski patrol.

They’re not a very good ski patrol, not really. Their martinet leader is short and annoying and he’s played by Leslie Jordan. A young George Lopez is a member of the ski patrol and he keeps trying to do stuff that I assume was from his 1990 stand-up act. Future director Paul Feig plays Stanley, who is nerdy but can dance and is willing to dress up like Tina Turner when the Ski Patrol needs to raise some fast money. T.K. Cater is Iceman, who sings at every party and is a part of every prank. Suicide (Sean Sullivan) wears a crazy mask and an evil mask as he debates which dangerous thing he should do. And then there’s Jerry Cramer (Roger Rose), who is handsome and a great skier. He’s technically the hero of the film but he’s kind of smarmy. He does own a cute bulldog, though.

Eccentric or not, the ski patrol is dedicated to Pops (Ray Waltson), the fair-minded and kind-hearted owner of a mountain ski lodge. Unfortunately, an evil developed named Maris (Martin Mull) wants Pops’s land so he and Lance (Corbin Timbrook) and Lance’s evil friends conspire to cause the lodge to fail its annual inspection. Before you know it, mice are running loose, George Lopez is getting thrown in jail, and an avalanche causes a hot dog stands to careen out of control. Since this movie was made in 1990, the solution to all of these problems is to party, party, and party some more!

This is not exactly a good movie. It has its share of cringey moments and jokes that have not aged particularly well. Roger Rose tries to pull off the whole charming smartass routine but he doesn’t really have the screen presence to do it. One gets the feeling that filmmakers may have noticed that while filming because it’s hard not to notice that, despite being the film’s nominal star, Rose doesn’t really do much. And yet, there’s enough odd little moments that the film itself is often more likable than it has any right to be. These scenes might not add up to much but it’s hard not to smile when Paul Feig starts dancing or when Suicide starts arguing with himself. There’s a lot of lovely scenery (the ski lodge really does look like a nice place to visit) and even the bulldog is genuinely cute.

As for T.K. Carter (whose passing earlier this month really didn’t get the attention that it deserved), this film was typical of the majority of the films in which he appeared and, as was often the case, he’s brings a lot of life to material that probably wouldn’t have worked without his energy. Of course, it’s always interesting to see Carter in a silly comedy like this and then to consider his performances in The Thing and Southern Comfort, two excellent films that definitely were not comedies. Indeed, after The Thing, it’s hard not to feel that Carter had earned a chance to appear in a film featuring snow in which everyone survives.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Today, the sixth season of Fantasy Island comes to a close and so does Tattoo’s time on the show.

Episode 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 14th, 1983)

This is it. This is not only the finale of season 6 but it’s also the final episode to feature Tattoo as Mr. Roarke’s assistant.

Why did Herve Villechaize leave Fantasy Island after the end of the sixth season? The story that you always hear is that Villechaize wanted more money to continue working on the show. He felt that he deserved to be paid as much as Ricardo Montalban. The show’s producers disagreed. To them, Montalban was not only the star of the show but also someone who has just appeared in a hit movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. They felt that they could keep the show going without Villechaize and …. well, it turns out they were totally and completely wrong about that.

I have not seen much of the seventh season, in which Villechaize was replaced by Christopher Hewett. And, due to the vagaries of my DVR, there’s a lot of season 7 that I won’t be able to review. What I do know is that the show went from being #39 to bring ranked #47 in the ratings after Villechaize left. Obviously, being the 39th ranked show was nothing to brag about but it was still a helluva lot better than #47. Villechaize left and a lot of the audience left with him.

I’ve made a lot of jokes about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship. Especially during the early seasons, Roarke and Tattoo sometimes did seem to be friendly rivals. (That was when Roarke was a far more enigmatic fellow and Tattoo always seemed to be trying to figure out a way to make some extra money on Fantasy Island.) Remember when Tattoo ran against Mr. Roarke in an Island election? That said, Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship really was the heart of the series. The fantasies themselves were often forgettable. How many times can you get excited about seeing a member of the Brady Bunch as a guest star? The thing that people really remember about Fantasy Island is the relationship between Roarke and Tattoo. Regardless of what went on behind the scenes, Montalban and Villechazie had a good on-camera chemistry. It was fun to watch them interact. I always enjoyed the episodes that allowed Villechaize to reveal Tattoo’s sensitive side. (In real life, Villechaize was an advocate for abused children, often taking the time to personally visit with children who had been rescued from abusive households.)

This is all my long-winded way of saying that they should have just agreed to pay Herve Villechaize more money.

At the very least, they should have given him a proper goodbye episode. The sixth season ends with a rather basic episode, with no mention made of Tattoo leaving or even thinking of leaving. Instead, we get Maureen McCormick going to a mysterious mansion to rescue her old sister (Britt Ekland) from an abusive man (played by Peter Mark Richman). And then we get Bob Denver and Paul Kreppel as two wannabe womanizers who end up in prehistoric times, trying to romance a cavewoman while dealing with dinosaurs. The dinosaur effects were cheap but likable but they were also the only thing that really made either of their fantasies stand-out.

And so, season 6 ends, not with a bang but a whimper. Tattoo waves goodbye one last time. I’m going to miss him.