Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, season 3 comes to an end.
Episode 3.24 “Dynamite Alley”
(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on March 30th, 1980)
After testifying in a trial in Bakersfield, Bonnie (Randi Oakes) is driving back to Los Angeles when, somehow, she ends up flipping her squad car. In the hospital, Bonnie swears that she had to swerve suddenly to avoid a truck that came out of nowhere. The only witness to Bonnie’s accident is a pre-adolescent named Corey (Bryan Scott), who was watching as Bonnie drove by his house. Corey says that he saw the truck but Ponch and Jon come to suspect that he might be lying because he doesn’t want Bonnie to get in trouble. Meanwhile, Grossman is writing an article on how tired drivers can hallucinate seeing other vehicles and he comes to suspect that this is what happened to Bonnie.
My main issue with this episode is that Corey was 1) portrayed as having a stutter and 2) nicknamed Blabbermouth by everyone he knew, even the characters who were supposed to be sympathetic to him. When he showed up in the hospital to confess that he didn’t really see a truck push Bonnie off the road, Bonnie replies, “Oh, Blabbermouth.” Even Jon and Ponch call him Blabbermouth. As a former stutterer, this episode really annoyed me.
As for our B-plot, the “funny car show” is in town. All sorts of weird vehicles show up on the streets. One man tries to drive a tank to the show and people start throwing bottles at him. When Baker and Ponch show up to investigate the tank, Baker nearly gets hit by a glass bottle that’s thrown at him by two kids. Ponch grabs one of the kids but then just laughs and lets him leave. Really, Ponch? BAKER COULD HAVE LOST AN EYE!
And that’s how the third season ended, with Bonnie crashing her squad car because she had a hallucination and a poor kid with a stutter being called “Blabbermouth” by the police. That’s not the best way to end a season.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, Mark has a near-death experience.
Episode 1.16 “Going Home, Going Home”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 23rd, 1985)
While driving through Oklahoma at night, Mark mentions to Jonathan that they are near the location of his grandfather’s old farm. Jonathan suggests that they stop off to see the farm and see if any of Mark’s old friends are around but Mark explains that he had no friends when he lived with his grandfather. As Mark puts it, he was sent to live with his grandfather after his mother died and he spent the whole time complaining about how much he would have rather stayed back in California. Mark says that his greatest regret is that he never told his grandfather that he loved him.
Awwwww! That’s so sad!
Suddenly, a cow appears in the middle of the road. Mark swerves to avoid it and the car ends up in a ditch. Jonathan, being an immortal angel, is not injured. Mark, however, hits his head on the steering wheel and goes into a coma. A local farmer rushes Jonathan and Mark to the town doctor. When Jonathan tells the comatose Mark that it’s not his time to die, the doctor replies that the time of Mark’s death is up to God.
Yikes!
Mark does eventually wake up. Feeling much better, he goes for a walk around the town with Jonathan. Mark is surprised to see that the town has not changed at all since he lived there. The cars are all vintage. 1930s swing music is playing from the radios. And, on the bridge near the location of his grandfather’s farm, Mark meets a 9 year-old boy (Sean De Veritch) who is reading a copy of Superman #1. The boy says that his name is Mark Gordon.
Jonathan explains that Mark has not woken up at all. He’s still in his coma and now, he’s getting a chance to tell his grandfather that he loves him. But, Jonathan explains, old Mark cannot reveal his true identity so he’ll have to get Young Mark to say the words. Good luck with that, seeing as Young Mark is obsessed with going back to Oakland.
Soon, Mark and Johnathan are working on the farm and helping Carl Fred Simms (John McLiam), who is also Mark’s grandfather, keep his land from falling into the hands of a greedy land developer. To the show’s credit, it doesn’t take much for Old Mark to convince Young Mark to start treating his grandfather with more respect. Old Mark explains that Young Mark will always regret not appreciating his grandfather and that’s all it takes for Young Mark to shape up. Young Mark even finds a the location of an underground well but, by that point, old Carl is already on the verge of death.
This is one of those extremely sentimental and earnest episodes that are pretty much this show’s trademark. It’s not subtle but it is extremely sincere and, as a result, it’s hard not to get caught up in the episode’s emotions. There’s a lot about this episode that would normally bring out my snarky side but everyone seems to be so committed to the story that they’re telling that one has to appreciate their efforts.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, Jonathan falls in love.
Episode 1.15 “One Winged Angel”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 16th, 1985)
This week, Jonathan’s mission seems simple.
Libby Hall (Robin Dearden) is a widow who owns a small hotel, one that she manages with her mother (Peggy McCay). Libby’s son, Max (a young Wil Wheaton), has been struggling without a father figure in his life and has reached the point where he now regularly acts out and refuses to obey his mother. He’s so obnoxious that guests will often check out of the hotel early rather than spend another minute around him. The owner of the local gas station, Earl (John Lawlor), has a crush on Libby but he is too shy to ask her out. It doesn’t help that Earl knew Libby’s late husband and he feels guilty about liking her.
When Jonathan and Mark show up at the hotel, it’s obvious what is meant to happen. Jonathan just has to help Max deal with his anger and help Earl summon up the courage to ask out Libby. Jonathan says that mission is so simple that Mark can spend the whole week fishing. Mark’s excited about that!
Except …. uh-oh! Jonathan starts to fall in love with Libby and Libby starts to fall for him. Max is soon looking up to Jonathan and asking him if he wants to throw the old football around. Earl can only watch helplessly. Jonathan explains to Mark that he knows what his mission is but he can’t help how he feels about Libby. Mark suggests that maybe “the boss” wants Jonathan to be reminded of what it feels like to be human.
Well, no worries! With Jonathan struggling with his feelings, Mark takes it upon himself to go out fishing with Earl. He tells Earl that he and Jonathan travel from town to town, get involved in people’s lives, and then move on. Mark isn’t lying but Earl takes it to mean that Jonathan is just leading Libby on. This gives Earl the courage to tell Jonathan how he feels about Libby (and to also tell Jonathan not to hurt her). Realizing the Libby and Earl are meant to be together, Jonathan checks out of the hotel and tells Libby and Max that it’s time for him to move on. Libby and especially Max are upset but things brighten up when Earl shows up. He not only offers to give Max a job at the garage (and to also throw around the football with the kid) but he finally asks Libby out on a date.
This was a pretty sad episode, all things considered. Earl and Libby are finally together and it’s obvious that they belong together but Jonathan is still really depressed as Mark drives him out of town. But, seriously, Jonathan had to know about the dangers of falling in love with a human woman. As an angel, he has surely read the Book of Enoch and knows about the Nephilim. All that aside, this was a very sincere and a very earnest episode about lost love and it was nicely done.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, Jennifer wants to get married!
Episode 1.10 “Do You Take This Ghost?”
(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on April 21st, 1984)
George is super-excited because Susan and his anniversary is coming up. (Awwwww! George is being sweet and romantic. That kind of goes against everything that has been previously established about his character but whatever. Let’s go with it.) George says that he and Susan are going to celebrate by renewing their vows. He’s even called the minister who performed their wedding to come do it again. The ceremony will be held in the house because another set would cost money.
Hearing all of this, Jennifer starts to feel sad that she never had a traditional marriage when she was alive. Fortunately, her ex-boyfriend, film star Doug Chadwick (Warwick Sims), has just died. His ghost materializes in the house and soon, he and Jennifer are a couple again. Jennifer and Doug decide to get married at the same time that George and Susan are going to renew their vows. Joey can act as the best man for both ceremonies!
Can you see where this is heading?
Joey discovers that, even as a ghost, Doug Chadwick has issues with staying faithful. While Jennifer plans out her wedding, Doug is sleeping with other ghosts. He even loses the wedding ring while carousing in a hot tub. (Ghosts in a hot tub? I mean, I guess that could happen….) At the ceremony, Joey tells Jennifer that she can do better than Doug. Of course, since George and Susan are renewing their vows, they think that Joey is talking about them. They assure Joey that they love each other. Joey tells them that he knows they love each other because his father is not the type who would ever cheat on the woman that he loves or lose his wedding ring in a hot tub. Jennifer takes Joey’s words to heart and calls off her ghost wedding.
This was an okay episode. If I don’t sound too enthusiastic, it’s because I’m a bit exhausted with how every joke is basically Joey saying something to someone no one else can see and everyone responding by rolling their eyes. I mean, after ten episodes of thinking that their son has been having loud arguments with himself, you have to wonder why his parents aren’t trying to do more to discover what the problem is.
My main issue with this episode is that, with all the good men who have died through history, why would Jennifer settle for a guy who, by her own admission, didn’t really treat her that well when they were alive? I mean, Jennifer could marry James Buchanan or maybe Martin Van Buren. Don’t settle, Jennifer! Of course, that’s kind of the same thing that Joey told her so I guess I have to give him some credit for that. As always, Ann Jillian was great as Jennifer and John P. Navin, Jr. did his best with Joey (who is a rather inconsistently written character) but this episode just never worked as well as it could have. The idea of Jennifer having a ghost wedding had potential but this episode just kind of fell flat.
(I am currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR! I recorded the 1952 best picture nominee, High Noon, off of Retroplex on January 28th. This review is scheduled to posted at 12 noon, central time. Clever, no?)
High Noon is a testament to the power of simplicity.
It’s a famous film, one that continues to be influential and which is still studied today. It’s known for being one of the greatest westerns ever made but it’s also a powerful political allegory. Even people who haven’t seen the film know that High Noon is the moment of the day when someone shows their true character. Just as everyone knows the plot of Star Wars, regardless of whether they’ve actually watched the film, everyone knows that High Noon is about a town marshal who, after the entire town deserts him, is forced to face down a gang of gunmen on his own.
And yet, it really is a surprisingly simple movie. It’s the quintessential western, filmed in black-and-white and taking place in the type of frontier town that you would expect to find hiding on the back lot of an old movie studio. Though wonderfully brought to life by a talented cast, the majority of the characters are familiar western archetypes.
There’s the aging town marshal, a simple man of integrity. Gary Cooper won an Oscar for playing the role of Will Kane. When we first see Will, he’s getting married in a frontier courtroom. All of the town leaders have come to his wedding and all of them wish him luck in the future. Will is retiring and everyone agrees that the town would never have survived and prospered if not for Will Kane. After all, Will is the one who captured the notorious outlaw, Frank Miller. When the news comes that Miller has been pardoned and will be arriving back in town on the noon train, everyone tells Will that he should just leave town and go on his honeymoon. However, the new marshal will not be arriving for another day and Will is not willing to abandon the town. However, the town is more than willing to abandon him.
Will’s new wife is Amy Fowler (Grace Kelly). Amy is a Quaker and a pacifist. Amy begs Kane to leave town but Kane says that he’s never run from a fight. Amy tells him that she’ll be leaving on that noon train, with or without him. Helen Ramirez (Katy Jurado) is the former girlfriend of both Kane and Miller. She is one of the few people in town to call out everyone else’s cowardice but she is still planning to leave before Miller arrives. As she explains it to Amy, she would never abandon Kane if he were her man but he’s not her man anymore.
The townspeople, who first appear to be so friendly and honest, soon prove themselves to be cowards. None of them are willing to stand behind Will. The Mayor (Thomas Mitchell) publicly castigates Will for staying in town and putting everyone else in danger. Deputy Harvey Pell (Lloyd Bridges) says that he’ll only help Will if Will recommends him as his replacement. The town minister (Morgan Farley) is more concerned with why Will was married by the justice of the peace, instead of in the church. The town judge (Otto Kruger) leaves early, saying he can be a judge in some other town. One of the few people to show Will any sympathy is the former marshal (Lon Chaney, Jr.) but, unfortunately, he is too old and crippled by arthritis to provide any help.
Though it all, Frank’s gang sits at the train station and waits for Frank to arrive. One gang member is played be Lee Van Cleef. He looks really mean!
With a brisk running time of 84 minutes, High Noon unfolds in real time. Throughout the film, as Kane grows increasingly desperate in his attempt to find anyone brave enough to stand with him, we see clocks in the background of nearly every scene. We hear the ticking. We know that both noon and Frank Miller are getting closer and closer. We know that, soon, Will will have no other option but to stand on the street by himself and defend a town that doesn’t deserve him.
It’s simple but it’s undeniably powerful.
It’s been said that High Noon was meant to be a metaphor for the blacklist. Frank Miller and his gang were the fascists that, having been defeated in World War II, were now coming back to power. Will Kane was a stand-in for all the men and women of integrity who found themselves blacklisted. The townspeople represented the studio execs who refused to challenge the blacklist. That’s the theory and it’s probably true. But, honestly, the political metaphor of High Noon works because it can be applied to any situation. Will Kane is anyone who has ever had to face down the forces of totalitarianism. He is anyone who has ever had the courage to take a lonely stand while everyone else cowered in the corner.
It’s a powerful metaphor and it’s also a genuinely entertaining movie. The gunfight is thrilling. The romance between Will and Amy feels real. Even the town feels like an actual place, one that has its own history and culture. It’s a simple film but it’s a great film.
Like a lot of great films, High Noon was nominated for best picture. And, like a lot of great films, it lost. In High Noon‘s case, it lost to a film that is almost its exact opposite, The Greatest Show on Earth. However, Gary Cooper did win an Oscar for his unforgettable performance as Will Kane.
I think we tend to take classic films for granted. Don’t do that with High Noon. See it the next chance you get.
Through the Shattered Lens 