Tag Archives: Curtis Crawford

What Lisa Watched Last Night #152: Killing Mommy (dir by Curtis Crawford and Anthony Lefrense)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I gathered together with my three older sisters and I tried to make them watch Killing Mommy on Lifetime!  They all abandoned me after thirty minutes but I stayed for the entire film.

Killing Mommy

Why Was I Watching It?

(Awwwwww!  That is one of the greatest tweets in which I’ve ever been mentioned!  Everyone please be sure to check out Awards Watch!)

What Was It Aboot?

Killing Mommy was the latest in a long line of Canadian-produced Lifetime thrillers.  It tells the story of two twin sisters!  Deb has dark hair, a tattoo, and a bad attitude.  She’s a recovering drug addict and she divides her time between having anonymous sex and going to jail.  Julianne has red hair and is about to graduate from college.  She is always smiling and she’s always spending money!

When Deb and Julianne were younger, their father died when a car mysteriously fell on top of him.  Now, their mom — who runs a charity of some sort — is on the verge of remarrying.  Deb is upset.  Julianne is supportive.  Soon, someone with dark hair is attempting to kill mom.  Is it Deb or is it just Julianne wearing a Deb wig?

What Worked, eh?

Killing Mommy was one of those films that got better the longer it lasted.  During the first hour, I thought it was way too slow and awkwardly acted.  But, during the second hour, the film got enjoyably weird and over-the-top.  It’s as if, during the 2nd half of the movie, the filmmakers suddenly realized that they just had to stop pretending like the movie would ever make any sense.  They decided to embrace the melodrama and good for them!

What Did Not Work, eh?

The second hour of Killing Mommy is a lot of fun but that first hour — oh my God.  See, the main problem with having a great second hour is that you have to get through the first hour to reach it and, if you first hour moves too slowly or features some less than impressive acting, you’re increasing the chances that viewers will never make it to that second hour.  The first hour of Killing Mommy was a real struggle to get through.  If you look at my twitter timeline, you’ll see that I tweeted a hundred times more during the second hour than the first hour.

Some of the acting, especially during that first hour, left a lot to be desired.  I think I may have compared some of the performances to the acting that you typically find in one of those “You got insurance?  With your health problems?!” MetLife insurance commercials.  However, I now think that some of what seemed like bad acting may have instead just been foreshadowing of the film’s 2nd hour twist.

Speaking of twists, there’s a flashback where a man working on a car yells at his daughter so much that she finally gets so annoyed that she lowers the car down on top of him.  (That’s not really a spoiler because what happened is pretty obvious from the minute the car crushing is first mention, especially if you’ve ever seen a Lifetime movie before.)  Anyway, I started giggling during that scene and I’m not sure if I was supposed to.

“OMG!  Just like me!” Moments, for sure

Julianne has red hair and she loves to shop!  How could I not relate to her?

On the other hand, Deb often wears black and has a sarcastic attitude.  How could I not relate to her, as well?

Seriously, other than all the murders, this whole movie had me going, “Oh my God!  Just like me!” over and over again.

Lessons Learned

I love, Canada!

 

Film Review: Pregnant At 17 (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Pregnant-1-620x362

Before I talk too much about the last night’s Lifetime premiere, Pregnant at 17, I want to share something with you.  As of 10:00 pm on the night at February 20th, this is the imdb plot description, which was posted by Reel One Entertainment:

When Sonia finds out her husband of 10 years is having an affair, she decides to get to know the young woman, Chelsea, he’s fallen in love with. Chelsea, a free-spirit who believes in polyamory, brings a happiness and fulfillment to Sonia that she’s never experienced before– especially since her miscarriage which left her depressed and hopeless. The three form a polyamorous relationship until an unexpected turn of events sends all of their lives into a tailspin.

Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it!?  Certainly, this is the first time that I’ve seen the term “polyamory” used in a plot description since Utopia went off the air!

However, by the time you read this review, I imagine that the plot description will probably have been changed because it’s absolutely inaccurate.  It is true that Sonia (Josie Bissett) does find out that her husband, Jeff (Roark Critchlow), is having an affair with Chelsea (Zoe De Grand Maison).  However, Chelsea is not a polyamorous free spirit.  Instead, she’s a 17 year-old girl who works at an ice cream parlor.  (The name of the parlor is Stella Lama.)  And, though Jeff does have an affair with her, he never falls in love with Chelsea.  In fact, when Chelsea tells him that she’s pregnant (at 17!), he promptly attempts to pay her off.

That’s right — Pregnant at 17 is yet another installment in Lifetime’s endless series of “…at 17” films.  Over the past few years, we’ve seen everything from Betrayed At 17 to Stalked At 17 to Framed At 17 to Accused at 17.  Seriously, it’s not easy being a 17 year-old girl on Lifetime!  The worst things are always happening to you.  Since I had a lot of melodrama in my life when I was 17, I always enjoy and relate to the “…at 17” movies.  Pregnant at 17 was a film that I could especially relate to because it was about a girl who had both red hair and a boyfriend named Jeff!

Even without the promised softcore polyamory, Pregnant at 17 was still wonderfully melodramatic in the way that only a good Lifetime film can be.  After Sonia discovers that Chelsea has been sleeping with her husband, she goes down to the ice parlor to confront her.  However, within seconds of their first meeting, Chelsea is offering Sonia free ice cream and talking about how difficult her life is.  Sonia feels sorry for Chelsea and, instead of confronting her, ends up befriending her.

And Chelsea really needs a friend!  Not only has she been abandoned by her married boyfriend but she’s also being stalked by Greg Foster (Rogan Christopher).  Apparently, before she met Jeff, Chelsea witnessed Greg robbing a convenience store.  Chelsea identified Greg to the police and Greg has spent the last year in jail.  Now, he’s out and he wants revenge!  Helping Greg is his sister, Laren (Corina Bizem).  We know that Laren is dangerous because she wears way too much dark eyeliner.

When Sonia confronts Jeff about his affair, he replies, “You’re not perfect, either.”  Guys, if you’re reading this — if you are ever caught cheating, do not attempt to excuse your actions by saying, “You’re not perfect, either.”  SERIOUSLY, THAT IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU CAN SAY IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.

(Forgive me for the all caps but I think this is an important message to impart.  If I can teach a lesson, I am always happy to do so.)

Now, at this point, I was thinking about a friend of mine who found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her and she responded by supergluing his penis to his stomach.  (Yes, that is a true story and yes, the person who suggested it to her was inspired by Reservoir Dogs.)  However, Sonia doesn’t go that far.  Instead, she just makes Jeff sleep in the guest room.  The next morning, Jeff gets hit by a car and ends up laid up at the hospital.

That now means that there’s extra room in Sonia’s house!  And who better to move in but her husband’s pregnant mistress!?  Of course, by doing so, Sonia is now being stalked by the same people who have been stalking Chelsea…

Seriously, being pregnant at 17 is the least of Chelsea’s problems.  This is pure Choas at 17.

And no, there’s no polyamory.  There’s no threesomes.  I know that the plot description promised a threesome but that’s not the type of movie that Pregnant at 17 is.  This is not Carnal Wishes or Big Bad Mama. And really, that’s okay.  Pregnant at 17 is a lot of fun, just the way it is.  This film epitomizes everything that we love about Lifetime movies.  It’s so over the top that watching it is a pure delight.

Both Josie Bissett and Zoe De Grande Maison also deserve a lot of credit for fully committing to their roles.  Bissett, who was so good in A Mother’s Instinct, gives another excellent performance here.  Meanwhile, Maison does all of us redheads proud!

Keep an eye out for Pregnant at 17!  You will not be disappointed.

 

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: The Perfect Girlfriend (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

After I watched and reviewed Stolen From The Suburbs, it was time to continue to clean out my DVR by watching The Perfect Girlfriend.  The Perfect Girlfriend originally aired on the Lifetime movie network on September 27th.  During that night, I was busy packing for my vacation and getting ready for sister Melissa’s birthday.  And so, I set the DVR to record.

The Perfect Girlfriend is one of the many Canadian thrillers to eventually find a home on the Lifetime network.  Lifetime movies are always designed to exploit our shared fears and fantasies.  Stolen From The Suburbs, for instance, exploited the fear that moms have about not being able to protect their daughters.  Online Abduction exploited a feeling that every daughter has had, that feeling of frustration that comes when your mom refuses to listen to you even though you’re the only person who knows what she’s talking about.  And, of course, a countless number of Lifetime films have dealt with the fear that your boyfriend will suddenly turn out to be a complete psychopath.

The Perfect Girlfriend exploits the other great fear that we all have about boyfriends.  Secretly, we fear that, while our boyfriend might be a genuinely sweet and nice guy, he might also be a lot dumber than we realize.  We fear that, the minute he’s out of sight, he’ll end up getting targeted by the first woman who sees him.  And, because he’s not that smart, he will be easily seduced and we’ll end up having to break up with him.  (That, incidentally, is why most long distance relationships don’t work.  Guys aren’t smart enough to be trusted when we’re not around.)  And then his new girlfriend will turn out to be a totally controlling psycho bitch and really, we should be happy about that because he kind of broke our heart but we don’t want to see him get hurt because it’s really not his fault!  He’s just not that smart…

The Perfect Girlfriend is all about that fear.  Brandon (Jon Cor) gets a job in Portland and he leaves behind his devoted girlfriend, Jensyn (Ashley Leggat).  Brandon tells Jensyn that he loves her and he promises that he’ll be faithful but we know better!  As soon as he lands in Portland, his new boss, Simone (Adrienne Frantz), starts hitting on him.  When his hotel reservations are mysteriously canceled, Brandon takes Simone up on her offer to just stay at her place for a few weekends.

(And, at this point, we all shout, “Brandon, noooo!”  And then Jensyn says it’s okay and we all say, “Girl, I know you know better!”)

Brandon agrees to keep an eye on Simone’s dog but the dog doesn’t even seem to recognize her, almost as if Simone just picked the dog up from a shelter so she would have an excuse to keep Brandon at the house.  Simone does tell Brandon that she has a boyfriend but Brandon never meets him.  One night, Simone tells Brandon that she and her boyfriend broke up.  Shortly afterward, Brandon gets a text from Jensyn, breaking up with him.  Meanwhile, Jensyn gets a mysterious email from Brandon, also breaking up with her.

What could be happening…

Actually, you probably already guessed what’s happening. That’s right — Jensyn made the mistake of letting Brandon out of her sight and, as soon as that happened, Simone decided to pounce.  And Brandon’s too stupid to realize what’s happening.  So now, he’s living and sleeping with Simone while Jensyn struggles to get on with her life.

But, of course, Brandon still loves Jensyn.  And when he starts to make an effort to get back in touch with her, Simone has a breakdown…

Anyway, The Perfect Girlfriend is pretty predictable but it’s kind of fun in a silly Lifetime sort of way.  Nothing that happens will surprise you but if you love Lifetime movies (like I do), The Perfect Girlfriend is an enjoyable enough addition to the “My Boyfriend Is An Idiot” genre.  If nothing else, it’s a film that will remind you why it’s important to never let your man out of your sight.