On this Labor Day, our song of the day is dedicated to all of the independents out there. Convoy is usually described (somewhat dismissively) as being either a one-hit wonder or a novelty song but seriously, “We just ain’t gonna pay no toll,” is one of the greatest lyrics ever written and, in this post-COVID era, it’s a reminder that the human spirit was never meant to be regulated.
Someone tell the authoritarians. Someone warn the bureaucrats. Someone alert anyone who thinks they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives. We’ve got a mighty convoy and it’s a beautiful sight.
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c’mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it’s clean clear to Flag Town, c’mon. Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy…
Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth pullin’ logs
Cab-over Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin’ hogs
We is headin’ for bear on I-10
‘Bout a mile outta Shaky Town
I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck”
“And I’m about to put the hammer down”
‘Cause we got a little convoy
Rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a little convoy
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
‘Cross the USA, convoy
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here’s the Duck. And, you wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, ’bout five mile or so. Ten, roger. Them hogs is gettin’ in-tense up here
By the time we got into Tulsa Town
We had eighty-five trucks in all
But they’s a roadblock up on the cloverleaf
And them bears was wall-to-wall
Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper
They even had a bear in the air
I says, “Callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck
We about to go a-huntin’ bear”
‘Cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a great big convoy
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
‘Cross the USA, convoy
Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? Negatory, Pig Pen; you’re still too close. Yeah, them hogs is startin’ to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten
Well, we rolled up Interstate 44
Like a rocket sled on rails
We tore up all of our swindle sheets
And left ’em settin’ on the scales
By the time we hit that Chi-town
Them bears was a-gettin’ smart
They’d brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinois National Guard
There’s armored cars and tanks and jeeps
And rigs of ev’ry size
Yeah, them chicken coops was full’a bears
And choppers filled the skies
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke
With a thousand screamin’ trucks
An’ eleven long-haired Friends a’ Jesus
In a chartreuse micra-bus
Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come over. Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster? Lissen, you wanna put that micra-bus right behind that suicide jockey? Yeah, he’s haulin’ dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get
Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey shore
And prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge was lined with bears
But I didn’t have a dog-goned dime
I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck
We just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll”
So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eight
I says “Let them truckers roll, 10-4”
‘Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
‘Cross the USA
Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what’s your twenty?
Convoy! Omaha? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. Well, mercy
Convoy! sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your…
Convoy! tail. We’ll catch you on the flip-flop. This here’s the Rubber Duck on the side
Convoy! We gone. ‘Bye,’bye
Through the Shattered Lens 