After screwing up a mission to save the leader of his planet from the intergalactic gangster Suitor (William Ball), Shep Ramsey (Hulk Hogan) is ordered to take a vacation. When Shep gets mad and accidentally damages the controls of his spaceship, he’s forced to hide out on Earth while his ship repairs itself. After stealing some clothes from a biker, Shep rents a room from Charlie (Christopher Lloyd) and Jenny Wilcox (Shelley Duvall). Charlie is an architect who hates his job, his boss (Larry Miller), and a malfunctioning traffic light in the middle of town. Charlie doesn’t trust Shep but when Suitor comes to Earth in search of his number one foe, Charlie and Shep are going to have to work together to save Charlie’s family.
SuburbanCommando was originally envisioned as being an Arnold Schwarzenegger/Danny DeVito film. Schwarzenegger and DeVito decided to do Twins instead and Suburban Command was (eventually) made with Hulk Hogan and Christopher Lloyd. The idea behind the film had potential but the film itself never comes to life, thwarted by a low-budget and a cast that generates little in the way of chemistry. Things start out well when Hogan is in outer space and the film parodies StarWars but, once Hogan goes on vacation, the story crashes down to Earth in more ways than one. Hogan was more of a personality than an actor and it’s impossible to see him as being anyone other than Hulk Hogan, even if he is flying through space and wearing intergalactic armor at the start of the movie. Hogan getting angry in space is funny because space is not where you would expect to find him. Hogan getting angry in the suburbs just feels like a half-baked sitcom. Lloyd is too naturally eccentric to be believable as someone trapped in a go-nowhere job. It’d hard to buy Christopher Lloyd as someone who would be scared to tell off his boss or who would need an alien warrior to come down and show him how to loosen up. There’s a lot talented people in the cast but the ensemble never really gels.
This was the last film to be directed by veteran filmmaker Burt Kennedy. Kennedy was best-known for his westerns, including Welcome to Hard Times, Support Your Local Sheriff, and Hannie Caulder. He was not known for his wacky comedies and this film shows us why.
Stacy Keach has always been an underappreciated actor. Despite his obvious talent and his ability to play both heroes and villains, he’s never really gotten the film roles that he’s deserved and he’s mostly made his mark on stage and on television. There have been a few good films that made use of Keach’s talents. I’ve always appreciated his performance as Frank James in Walter Hill’s The Long Riders. He was a morally ambiguous Doc Holliday in Doc. He played a boxer in John Huston’s FatCity. Horror fans will always remember him for RoadGames. The Ninth Configuration featured a rare starring role for Keach but it was treated poorly by its studio. He was chilling as a white supremacist in AmericanHistoryX. For the most part, though, Keach’s film career has been made up of stuff like Class of 1999. For all of his talent, he seems destined to be remembered mostly for playing Mike Hammer in a television series and a few made-for-TV movies. It’s too bad because Keach had the talent to bring certain character to life in a way that few other actors can.
TheKillerInside Me features one of Keach’s best performances. Based on a pulp novel by Jim Thompson, TheKillerInsideMe stars Stacy Keach as Lou Ford. Lou is a small town deputy. Everyone thinks that he’s a good, decent man. He’s dating the local school teacher (Tisha Sterling). The sheriff (John Dehner) trusts him. Lou seems to be an expert at settling conflicts between neighbors. What everyone doesn’t know is that Lou is actually a psycho killer who is having a sado-masochistic affair with a local prostitute (Susan Tyrrell) and who has zero qualms about punching the life out of someone. When Lou finds out that Tyrrell is also involved with the son of a local businessman, it sets Lou on a crime and killing spree. Lou thinks he’s a genius but his main strength is that no one can imagine Lou Ford doing the terrible things that he does.
Burt Kennedy was an outstanding director of westerns and straight-forward action movies but he appears to have struggled with TheKillerInsideMe’s morally ambiguous tone. The end result is not a great film but it does feature a great performance from Stacy Keach. In both his performance and his narration, Keach captures both the arrogance and the detachment from normal society that defines Lou Ford’s character. He also shows how Ford coolly manipulates the people around him. Keach is believable and compelling whether he’s playing the fool or if he’s committing cold-blooded murder and he also subtly shows that Lou is not as smart as he thinks he is. Though Keach dominates the film, TheKillerInsideMe also features good performances from a gallery of 70s character actors, including John Carradine, Keenan Wynn, Don Stroud, Charles McGraw, and Royal Dano.
This version of TheKillerInsideMe didn’t do much at the box office. The movie was remade in 2010, with Casey Affleck miscast as Lou Ford. That version didn’t do much at the box office either. The secret to recreating the book’s mix of social satire and pulp action has proven elusive to filmmakers but at least we’ve got Stacy Keach’s performance as Lou Ford to appreciate.
There was a time in my life, before streaming existed, where it seemed like I wanted to buy every movie that interested me in the slightest. The main ways I looked for new movie releases was to go to a store like the Hastings Entertainment Superstore and look at their inventory, or look at the new and recent releases on Amazon’s online store. I could spend hours looking for movies in either location, and I did. Sometime in 2008, I ran across a DVD box set described as “The Films of Budd Boetticher” that contained introductions by the likes of Martin Scorsese, Taylor Hackford, and Clint Eastwood. The films included on the box set were THE TALL T, DECISION AT SUNDOWN, BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE, RIDE LONESOME, and COMANCHE STATION. I remember seeing the names of these movies at various times in my life in my movie books. They had never really caught my attention, although I do remember that they would receive good reviews. This set did catch my attention, however, based on the interesting packaging and the fact that Scorsese and Eastwood were both singing the praises of the films. I did a little bit of quick research and decided to just buy the boxset. I’m glad to report that these films have turned into some of my very favorite movies, and I sing their praises to anyone who will listen.
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The earliest movie in this set is THE TALL T from 1957, which is based on Elmore Leonard’s short story, “The Captives.” The story opens with our hero Pat Brennan (Randolph Scott) stopping by the Sassabee Stagecoach Station and visiting with the owner Hank (Fred Sherman) and his son, Jeff (Christopher Olsen). Brennan seems like a good-natured guy who has a nice visit with the two and even agrees to purchase young Jeff some striped candy when he stops in the town of Contention later that day. Brennan heads on to Contention where we meet Ed Rintoon (Arthur Hunnicutt), a stagecoach driver who has been hired to take Willard and Doretta Mims (John Hubbard and Maureen O’Sullivan) to Bisbee for their honeymoon. Rintoon and Brennan are clearly old friends. As part of their various conversations, we learn that Doretta Mims is the daughter of Old Man Gateway, the man with the richest copper claim in the territory. After saying goodbye to Rintoon and buying young Jeff his striped candy, Brennan continues on to Tenvoorde’s (Robert Burton) ranch, in hopes of buying a seed bull for his own start-up ranch. For many years, Brennan had been the ramrod on Tenvoorde’s ranch, and the old man clearly wants him to come back. Tenvoorde offers Brennan a chance to get his bull for nothing, but he has to ride the bull to a stand still. If he can’t do it, then Tenvoorde keeps the bull and Brennan’s horse. Brennan takes him up on the offer, falls off the bull, dives into water trough to avoid getting stomped by the bull, and then heads back towards his ranch with nothing but his wet clothes and saddle. As he’s walking down the road, Rintoon comes by on his stagecoach with Mr. and Mrs. Mims. They pick Brennan up and give him a ride. When they stop back at the Sassabee Stagecoach Station, Hank and Jeff are nowhere to be seen. Rather, a voice from inside the station says “Drop your guns and come on down.” Frank Usher (Richard Boone) and young Billy Jack (Skip Homeier) emerge from the station with their guns drawn. When he’s getting down off the stagecoach, Rintoon goes for his shotgun and is shot down by another man, Chink (Henry Silva), whose been waiting in the shadows. These three men are waiting to rob the next stagecoach that comes along. They’ve already killed Hank and Jeff, and are planning to kill every person on this coach, when Willard tells them that his wife Doretta is from the richest family in the territory. Willard tells the three outlaws that Old Man Gateway will pay good money to get his daughter back, if they will just let them live. Usher, the leader of the bunch, likes this idea and sends Billy Jack and Willard back to Contention to request $50,000 from Gateway for the safe return of his daughter. With the endgame changed, Usher takes Brennan and Mrs. Mims to their hideout to wait to get their money from Gateway. Brennan knows that it’s just a matter of time before they are all killed, and he tells Mrs. Mims that they will need to be looking for any possible opportunity to escape.
THE TALL T is just so good. It’s amazing how much drama that director Budd Boetticher could fit into these films that all had running times of less than 80 minutes. The story is simple, but it deals with big themes like honor, cowardice, true love, sociopathic evil, and big dreams. Credit here has to be given to Elmore Leonard, the writer of the short story the film is based on. It must also be given to Burt Kennedy. Kennedy wrote the scripts for THE TALL T, RIDE LONESOME, and COMANCHE STATION. He’s not the credited writer for BUCHANAN RIDES ALONE but he did uncredited work on the script. Kennedy would go on to have a good career writing and directing his own westerns, like SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF, THE TRAIN ROBBERS, and HANNIE CAULDER, but his work with Boetticher is definitely some of his very best.
It’s also amazing how spare and simple everything looks in the THE TALL T. The land is just so dry, with nothing but big rocks and not a tree in sight. Growing up in Arkansas, I’m used to green fields and trees and flowers. It can almost feel like you’re choking on dust just watching this film.
The casting always seems to be perfect in Boetticher’s films. Randolph Scott is simpatico with Boetticher. His character here is a good man who will do what it takes to survive while also keeping his honor intact. Boetticher and Scott are truly a match made in heaven. Richard Boone is great as Frank Usher, the leader of the outlaws. He could have killed Scott’s character Brennan, but he is glad to have an honorable man to talk to after spending all of his time with Billy Jack and Chink. Boone somehow makes his outlaw leader into an honorable man even though he’s done many dishonorable things. It’s an impressive feat. Maureen O’Sullivan has an important role as Doretta Mims, the rich but plain woman, who married Willard because she was afraid she’d end up all alone. Her career goes all the way back to the 1930’s where she played Jane in the original Tarzan movies. She’s a good actress whose character undergoes the widest arc in the entire movie. Henry Silva’s Chink is a sociopath who is keeping score of the number of people he kills. Boone’s Usher would have been much better off if he would have gone with Chink’s advice and put Brennan and the Mims’ in the well back at the Sassabee station! Based on his nonchalant penchant for violence, you can see how Henry Silva would go on to having an amazing career playing bad guys. The last person I want to mention in the cast is Arthur Hunnicutt, who played Ed Rintoon. Hunnicutt is special to me because he comes from the hills of Arkansas, from a little town called Gravelly. He attended the same college I attended, although it was called the Arkansas State Teachers College when he was there. It was the University of Central Arkansas when I came through. Hunnicutt specialized in wise, rural characters. He was even nominated for an Acadamy Award a few years earlier for a movie called THE BIG SKY. He’d go on to be in so many good movies, including playing “Bull” in EL DORADO with John Wayne. I’m just proud of the guy for growing up in extreme rural Arkansas and then becoming a great character actor in Hollywood. I’ll watch anything he’s in.
I recommend all of these Budd Boetticher / Randolph Scott westerns, and THE TALL T is one of the very best!
This 1974 made-for-television movie opens with photojournalist Jimmy Wheeler (Stacy Keach) driving down an isolated country road. He’s driving across America, heading towards California. However, when he sees a young child walking on the side of the road and struggling to carry two bags of groceries, Jimmy pulls over and offers the child a ride.
That’s a big mistake. As Jimmy soon discovers, the child lives on an isolated farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. He resides with his six brothers and sisters. The family is led by Peter (John Savage), the oldest sibling. Jimmy discover that there’s only one other adult on the farm. The children refer to her as being their mom and Carol Ann (Samantha Eggar) certainly does seem to be busy, cooking dinner and keeping the house clean. It’s only when the children leave the kitchen that Carol Ann finally tells Jimmy the truth. She’s not related to the children. Instead, she is someone who made the same mistake that Jimmy did. She gave one of the kids a ride home and she’s never been allowed to leave.
It turns out that the children’s parents died a few years ago but, because the family lives so far away from town, no one has ever noticed. Peter has been in charge of the family but he’s reaching the point where he no longer wants to spend his entire life on the farm. He wants to experience Mardi Gras and then visit California. So, Peter has been sending out the children to tempt random adults to come to the house, where Peter auditions them to see if they would be good parents. Peter has decided that Carol Ann can be the mother. Now, he just needs to find someone to serve as the father.
Jimmy seems like a good candidates, except for the fact that he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life in the middle of nowhere and raising a bunch of odd children. Unfortunately, Jimmy soon discovers that it won’t be easy to escape. The farm is guarded by a pack of dogs and Peter has a way of taking care of all the kind strangers who fail their audition….
Even though it’s only 75 minutes long, All The Kind Strangers is a bit of a slow film and often, it seems like it can’t decide whether it wants to be a straight horror film or a family melodrama. Add to that, one of the kids is played Robby Benson, who showed up in a lot of 70s films, always playing awkward teenagers. Benson gives such a bizarrely over the top performance that it’s hard to take him or any situation in which he’s involved seriously. (Benson also sings the film’s easy listening theme song.) That said, the film still manages to create and maintain an effectively creepy atmosphere and Stacy Keach, Samantha Eggar, and John Savage all give good performances. The fact that the kids aren’t evil as much as they’re incapable of understanding the consequences of their actions actually serves to make them even creepier than the typical demented children who appear in films like this.
All The Kind Strangers has its moments, even if it doesn’t make a huge impression.
COMANCHE STATION was the final entry in the Randolph Scott/Budd Boetticher/Burt Kennedy series of Westerns, and in many ways a fitting ending. The loneliness of the Westerner is again a key theme as the film begins with the solitary figure of Scott as Jefferson Cody, riding across that rocky, barren, now mighty familiar Lone Pine terrain. He bargains with hostile Comanches for a captive white woman named Nancy Lowe, wife of a wealthy rancher. Stopping at Comanche Station, Cody and Mrs. Lowe encounter three men being chased by the tribe.
We learn one of these men is Ben Lane, a bounty hunter who shares a dark past with Cody. The two were formerly in the Army together, where then-Major Cody busted Lane out of the service for the slaughter of a village of friendly Indians. We also learn Mrs. Lowe’s husband is offering a five thousand dollar reward for her…
Randolph Scott and director Budd Boetticher teamed again for RIDE LONESOME, their sixth of seven Westerns and fourth with writer Burt Kennedy. Scott’s a hard case bounty hunter bringing in a killer, joined in his trek by an old “acquaintance” with an agenda of his own. Everyone’s playing things close to the vest here, and the stark naked desert of Lone Pine’s Alabama Hills, with its vast emptiness, plays as big a part as the fine acting ensemble.
Ben Brigade (Scott) has captured the murderous Billy John and intends to bring him to justice in Santa Cruz. Coming to a waystation, he finds Sam Boone and his lanky young companion Whit, known outlaws who’ve heard the territorial governor is granting amnesty to whoever brings in Billy. Also at the station is Mrs. Crane, whose husband has been murdered by marauding Mescaleros. Sam’s interested in forming a partnership and taking Billy…
I’ve told you Dear Readers before that Randolph Scott stands behind only John Wayne in my personal pantheon of great Western stars. Scott cut his cowboy teeth in a series of Zane Grey oaters at Paramount during the 1930’s, and rode tall in the saddle throughout the 40’s. By the mid-50’s, Scott and his producing partner Harry Joe Brown teamed with director Budd Boetticher and writer Burt Kennedy for seven outdoor sagas that were a notch above the average Westerns, beginning with SEVEN MEN FROM NOW. The second of these, THE TALL T, remains the best, featuring an outstanding supporting cast and breathtaking location cinematography by Charles Lang, Jr.
Scott plays Pat Brennen, a friendly sort trying to make a go of his own ranch. Pat, who comically lost his horse to his old boss in a wager over riding a bucking bull, hitches a ride with his pal Rintoon’s…
A century before Beatrix Kiddo killed Bill and The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, there was Hannie Caulder.
Hannie Caulder (played by Raquel Welch) lives at a horse station on the Texas/Mexico border. When the outlaw Clemmons brothers — Emmett (Ernest Borgnine), Frank (Jack Elam), and Rufus (Strother Martin) — arrive at the station following a disastrous bank robbery, they brutally murder her husband and take turns raping her. After setting the station on fire, the Clemmons Brothers leave Hannie for dead.
What they do not realize is that Hannie has managed to crawl out of the burning building. The next day, when a bounty hunter named Thomas Luther Price (Robert Culp) approached the burned out remains of the station, Hannie begs him to teach her how to shoot a gun.
“If I taught you the gun,” Tom says, “you’d go out and get your ass shot off!”
“It’s my ass!” Hannie replies.
“It’s a shame to get it shot full of holes,” Tom says, “It’s as pretty a one as I’ve ever seen.”
Tom refuses to teacher her how to handle a gun but he does allow her to ride with him. Before she mounts Tom’s second horse, Hannie sees that there is a body lying across the saddle. “I hope you don’t mind riding with a dead man,” Tom says.
After Tom realizes that she was raped, he agrees to her how to shoot. But first, he takes her into Mexico to meet a former Confederate gunsmith named Bailey so that Bailey can make her a gun. Bailey is played by Christopher Lee. In a career that spanned 70 years, Hannie Caulder was the only Western that Christopher Lee ever appeared in. At first, it’s strange to see Christopher Lee in a Western, using his Winchester rifle to gun down a group of bandits who threaten his family. But Lee is a natural and eventually, you stop seeing him as Dracula in a western and you just see him as Bailey.
As Bailey and Tom watch Hannie practice her shooting, Bailey says, “Fine-looking woman.”
“She wants to be a man,” Tom responds.
Bailey nods. “She’ll never make it.”
As an actress, Raquel Welch was often miscast in roles that were only meant to highlight her looks. She was always at her best when she played tough characters who were not afraid to fight and Hannie is one of her toughest. While the film certainly takes advantage of her appearance (she spends a good deal of it wearing nothing but a poncho), Welch also gives one of her best performances. Even with Culp, Borgnine, Elam, and Martin acting up a storm, she more than holds her own. She not only looks good with a gun but she knows how to use it too.
Though the film was obviously influenced by the violent Spaghetti westerns that were coming out of Italy at the time, Hannie Caulder was directed by Hollywood veteran Burt Kennedy. Kennedy was best known for comedic westerns like Support Your Local Sheriff and Hannie Caulder awkwardly mixes drama with comedy. Scenes of the Clemmons Brothers bickering and grizzled old west types doing a double take whenever Hannie walks by are mixed with Peckinpah-style violence and flashbacks of Hannie being raped. If the film had a director more suited to the material, it could have been a classic but under Kennedy’s direction, the end result is uneven but always watchable.
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF! is played strictly for laughs. It’s broad performances and slapstick situations won’t strain your brain, but will give you an hour and a half’s worth of escapist fun. Easy going James Garner has the lead, with solid comic support from Joan Hackett, Walter Brennan, Harry Morgan, and Jack Elam. Director Burt Kennedy made quite a few of these, and this is probably the best of the bunch.
While burying an itinerant drifter, the townsfolk of Calendar, Colorado discover a mother lode of gold. The subsequent boom turns Calendar into a lawless, rowdy town that can’t keep a sheriff alive long enough to tame it. The town elders also can’t get their gold through without paying a 20% tribute to the mean Danby clan. Enter our hero Jason McCullough (Garner), who applies for the sheriff’s position “on a temporary basis…I’m on my way to Australia”. Jason is a crack shot and fast…