Hello again! It’s been exactly one month since the last Titans installment. I was busy reviewing the steaming piece of trash that is Stranger Things 3. Now, I’m back and I have to start banking reviews for October!!! Horrorthor is just around the corner as is Titans Season 2 due out in September!!!
This episode was all about bringing the team together and learning how to fight as one. Now, I know this doesn’t sound terribly exciting, BUT this episode was actually one of my favorites.
The biggest reason is that I love this episode is because of the Director Meera Menon. She really knows how to direct a fight scene- a virtuoso! Like horror, a great action story can be filmed terribly, making you wish you’d done an extra load of laundry or it can draw you in and make you feel like part of the action. Meera is the latter. I haven’t seen action sequences directed this well since Blade I. I was bummed to find out that she didn’t direct any additional Titans episodes. If Greg Berlanti is reading my reviews- AND HE SHOULD- Meera is a real talent and will elevate any and all of your properties! Get her now while she’s affordable!
The episode has the gang on the run. They hole up in a motel and try to assess their individual abilities. This leads to a fun quasi-montage. It also leads to the final consummation of the sexual tension between Dick Grayson and Starfire. They really play the tension well. These two have CHEMISTRY!
The Nuclear Family has got a brand new Dad and they are in hot pursuit of the Titans, which leads to one of the best fight sequences that I have ever seen….REALLY. Just awesome! Meera- get in touch with Dwayne Johnson!
After the fight, Dick figures out where the evil headquarters are located using his detective skills. This sends him to Toronto…I mean evil Headquarters. Dick confronts King Evil Pants and gets beaten A LOT by his henchmen….Until Jason Todd shows up and saves him. This introduces the most psychopathic anti-hero since The Comedian. The next episode review will about a WHODUNNIT!
This episode – Origins – digs deeper into Dick and how he evolved into Robin and how Dick, Koriand’r, and Rachel evolved into the Titans. I don’t mention Beast Boy because he joins in the next episode and he is kinda lame. Speaking of Beast Boy, I won’t review Episode 4- Doom Patrol. It’s a backdoor pilot for the eponymous show that was reviewed on this site – check it out here.
The episode opens with my only critique for the season. Rachel is captured, but doesn’t use her Goth powers to kill everyone. Why not? This was not explained. It seems that somehow her powers were neutered, but I’m not sure how. She ends up being driven around by the world’s creepiest suburban family. This quick cuts to Koriand’r searching for Rachel and kicking serious ass kinda unnecessarily. I mean these were cops and she just breaks one guy’s arm when he begs for mercy. OUCH! Koriand’r catches up to the “Nuclear Family” and sets the dad on fire and rescues Rachel. Koriand’r sets more people on fire than the Romans did! Not too long after, she practically tears apart a wife beater at a diner! WOW! Koriand’r takes Rachel to a convent where she discovered Rachel spent the first few years of her life. All the while, Dick is on the hunt for them both!
The B- Story is Dick Grayson’s youth and how he became Robin. I wasn’t sure how I thought of this device, but it re-centered the story around Dick to keep the narrative clear: This show is Dick’s Story. Young Dick Grayson is adopted by Bruce Wayne who doesn’t speak, but lurks around the house staring at Dick. HMMMM. Anywho, Dick starts breaking out of Wayne Manor using his acrobat and car stealing techniques. He’s caught and brought into his social worker who is certain that she knows the way forward: reason with the boy. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get it. Dick isn’t running away; he’s hunting his parents’ killer to kill them. This causes Bruce to take an interest in Dick and recruit him into becoming Robin.
If you look at Dick as someone with deep-seeded PTSD, (which is exactly what’s going on) Bruce and Dick’s actions are very logical. They have repressed rage and, unlike many of us, the means and ability to exact revenge on people who mirror the cause of their trauma. Most of us just end up in therapy, but I admit that I envy these guys. Yes, it’s easier on your family to go to the VA and work through your justified rage, but wouldn’t it also be fun to wear some sort of leather and beat the ever loving snot out of a bunch of wife beaters, drug dealers, and child molesters?! It’s be a lot more fun than therapy and far fewer group sessions where you get slightly better than mediocre ham sandwiches.
Dick, being a pretty good detective, catches up to them and Rachel loses it full-on Carrie style. Dick Koriand’r and Rachel back to the convent and has a heart to heart with Rachel. He said something that stuck with me. Rachel was going on about how no one can really help and Dick admits, Yes. He thought Bruce could solve his problems by having him beat the snot out of people, but no one else can be responsible for your pain. You have to channel it yourself into something constructive, but it never goes away because it did happen to you.
It turns out that the sisters decide to lock up Rachel in the basement for her own good while Dick and Koriad’r step out for a few. This seems like an odd choice for the sisters. It’s obvious that Rachel is still there and why would they think that Dick and Koriand’r would be okay with her being locked away in a basement?! Kinda weird. Other than a few flaws, the episode lays the framework for an expanding family. I really do enjoy watching this group evolve into the Titans and they are really good at showing the subtle sparks that Koriand’r and Dick have for one another. Once again, I’m impressed with how accurately and directly they deal with PTSD and how that would affect all superheroes.
I used to say that Hope was a useless emotion. So many things come close and never quite make it. A surgery, a marriage maybe, finding the right job, or a myriad of things we try for and fail. As we get older, our hope is hesitant and reality becomes our future.
Titans encapsulates those near misses and the familiar heartbreak that doesn’t sting like it used to. It is the most brutally realistic show I’ve ever seen. It’s almost like watching a documentary. This is really what it would be like if heroes were real and we can see their touchstone in the faces of Veterans.
Brad Anderson wherever you are- You can bring it! The PTSD of this show is Battlestar Galactica levels of real. The fight scenes are sometimes hard to watch, but you can’t look away. You really can show disappointment. This episode was all about coming up short. You missed it by this much! It’s Superhero Noir.
The episode introduces Hank and Dawn/Hawk and Dove. They are a tough duo with a history with Dick/Robin. By history, Dove and Robin knocked boots. Dick failed Dawn. Dawn failed Hank. Now, Dawn and Hank are living on the margins, trying to take down/ripoff a gunrunner or just die. It’s sad. Hank gets beat up a lot, he needs a new hip, he’s alcoholic, addicted to pain pills, and steroids. Dawn is resigned to her fading life with a broken man who will need long-term care- if he lives. She has a broken partner and she pines for Dick Grayson; the true love of her life.
Dick has the great idea to abandon Rachel with this well-adjusted duo in DC. It works out…..terribly. Dick agrees to help Hank and Dawn ripoff of the gunrunner and he proceeds … well …see below. There’s hedge clippers to the balls and a throwing star R to the eye. It is brutal. To be fair, Dick doesn’t believe that he is father material. Well, maybe he’s right?! Unfortunately for Rachel, Dick is all she’s got because the cult that is out to kill Rachel has tracked Dick down to DC.
The cult has a Leave it to Beaver family juiced up on super steroids and they totally beat the snot out of Hank, Dick, and Dawn. Dawn is thrown off a building for good measure and appears to be dying. Rachel is kidnapped by the cult….again.
What makes this show great is that they are trying to make rational choices, but life still wins and they still lose. They are competent, but just outmatched. Titans taps into real humanity because success is rare, they understand how flawed they are, and they’re just not good for anyone. The photo below of Dawn looking down on her broken drug-addled boyfriend summed up the whole episode: Hank to Dawn: I promise this time will be different and Dawn’s face says – no… no it won’t, but it’s nice for you to try.
Minka Kelly, Alan Ritchson, Brenton Thwaites, and Teagan Croft’s performances were so painfully spot on. You felt that their failure was yours.
Titans isn’t your Dad’s superhero show, unless your Dad was awesome and loved Watchmen and if that’s the case he EARNED the World’s Best Dad mug!!! This is also different because it’s on the DC Universe subscription site and you’re like ….
But Case, I already already have Netflix and Hulu and Comcast and a burgeoning Methylphenidate habit because I’ve got this Calculus exam and I’m afraid of losing my funding….I mean …..smoking.
My response is:
DROP HULU and get this subscription!!!! You get digital access to EVERY SINGLE DC Comics, Movie, show, anime, tv series, and this AWESOME SHOW!!!!
Back to the show!!!
The show takes place in Gotham? NOPE. Metropolis? Nope! Vaguely Vancouver? Well….
It takes place in Detroit! The story revolves around an Angry PTSD Robin. Honestly, it’s pretty accurate! I have friends that have looked for trouble and found it. They see a guy beating up his girlfriend or harassing a lady and they mete out the justice right there. That’s who Robin is. He’s angry and worked for Batman: a rich guy who liked to beat the snot out of troublemakers. I am not saying it’s right and I never indulged in that kind of wrath, but I understand. The law can be supine when it comes to justice, it’s good at order, but justice…not so much. This is the world where Robin and the other Capes live. A world where the justice is instantaneous and the world shrugs. It comes from a real place. Afghanistan and much of the World operates the same way: the criminal justice system is corrupt, incompetent, feckless or all three, leading people to embrace extra-judicial solutions, but their vigilantes wear surplus fatigues instead of costumes. By far, that’s why we failed in Afghanistan, the Taliban could offer something we could not: instant brutal justice.
The show is brilliantly written by Geoff Johns and Greg Berlanti. If you don’t know who they are: Wonder Woman, Arrow, Smallville, Flash, and everything with the DC on it- they did. If you notice the fast pace and lived-in dreariness, that’s all Brad Anderson. He directed the pilot as well as the Hawk and Dove episode. Brad is a veteran of the show The Killing- a gritty dark murder mystery that takes place in the greatest city on Earth- SEATTLE. He is a David Fincher 2.0 with his brutal dystopian realism. Every shot is almost always near winter as if the seasons themselves have given up. The cities are as decaying and broken as their inhabitants.
The story starts rolling with Rachel Roth who is confused, angry, and on the run. She watches her mother get killed by an unknown assassin and she goes scary as shit and whoops ass! Then, she flees for Detroit and is nearly human trafficked, but her alter ego warns her in a reflection because it has to be done in the most creepy way possible. I am not sure if keeping this girl alive is really in humanity’s best interest.
This forces her path to cross Dick Grayson (Robin) who has left Batman to become a Detroit Police Detective. He tries to be on the right side of the law for awhile, but he sees child abusers go free and dons the cape again to mete out justice. By mete out justice, he beats people within an inch of their lives: see below! After Robin gets his 30 lbs of flesh, he gets pulled into a mystery surrounding a girl named Rachel Roth who just might be the harbinger of the apocalypse. Side note: I have known A LOT of cops over the years; the Army’s lousy with them. Brenton’s portrayal is very accurate for a long-term detective: he self-deprecates, but he’s really hard to know. I would have him make some more practical jokes or kid around more a bit. Most guys like that hide their feelings in humor a lot, but other than that, it’s flawless.
There is one scene, which is in a gif below: Robin is cleaning up his weapons after beating people nearly to death and that reminded me of my Soldier days. You finish your training exercise or patrol. Maybe you fought. In any case, it’s over. Everyone gets quiet, some shirtless, all the cleaning implements are placed neatly, and you methodically clean your weapons in a very zen activity. This was a great and accurate detail.
Our next hero is Koriand’r – she has no idea who she is, but she knows how to dress. She’s a mix of badass, sexy, and neck breaking! She does all three. There’s Russian dudes out of nowhere and she goes full-on Firestarter and burns them to DEATH! You feel almost kind of bad for them. Almost. She has a 70s soundtrack wherever she goes. I’m starting to blush. Anyway. She ascertains that she needs to go to Detroit and find Rachel Roth. In this show, who doesn’t realize that?!
The show cuts back to Rachel who meets Dick, but she’s kidnapped by a very unlucky man. Rachel wakes to see her mother’s killer. Wow, did he pick the wrong lady to mess with! Dick goes to rescue her, but Rachel’s dark nature takes over, she enters and explodes her would-be killer!!!! It’s AWESOME AND GROSS!!! Dick becomes her protector. Kordiand’r is on her way to Motown. We even meet Beast Boy who likes to commit petty theft as a green tiger.
This series is the best show on television. PERIOD.
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Here are six mini-reviews of six films that I saw in 2016!
Alice Through The Looking Glass (dir by James Bobin)
In a word — BORING!
Personally, I’ve always thought that, as a work of literature, Through The Looking Glass is actually superior to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. That’s largely because Through The Looking Glass is a lot darker than Wonderland and the satire is a lot more fierce. You wouldn’t know that from watching the latest film adaptation, though. Alice Through The Looking Glass doesn’t really seem to care much about the source material. Instead, it’s all about making money and if that means ignoring everything that made the story a classic and instead turning it into a rip-off of every other recent blockbuster, so be it. At times, I wondered if I was watching a film based on Lewis Carroll or a film based on Suicide Squad. Well, regardless, the whole enterprise is way too cynical to really enjoy.
(On the plus side, the CGI is fairly well-done. If you listen, you’ll hear the voice of Alan Rickman.)
Gods of Egypt (dir by Alex Proyas)
I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to describing the plot of Gods of Egypt. This was one of the most confusing films that I’ve ever seen but then again, I’m also not exactly an expert when it comes to Egyptian mythology. As far as I could tell, it was about Egyptian Gods fighting some sort of war with each other but I was never quite sure who was who or why they were fighting or anything else. My ADHD went crazy while I was watching Gods of Egypt. There were so much plot and so many superfluous distractions that I couldn’t really concentrate on what the Hell was actually going on.
But you know what? With all that in mind, Gods of Egypt is still not as bad as you’ve heard. It’s a big and ludicrous film but ultimately, it’s so big and so ludicrous that it becomes oddly charming. Director Alex Proyas had a definite vision in mind when he made this film and that alone makes Gods of Egypt better than some of the other films that I’m reviewing in this post.
Is Gods of Egypt so bad that its good? I wouldn’t necessarily say that. Instead, I would say that it’s so ludicrous that it’s unexpectedly watchable.
The Huntsman: Winter’s War (dir by Cedric Nicolas-Troyan)
Bleh. Who cares? I mean, I hate to put it like that but The Huntsman: Winter’s War felt pretty much like every other wannabe blockbuster that was released in April of last year. Big battles, big cast, big visuals, big production but the movie itself was way too predictable to be interesting.
Did we really need a follow-up to Snow White and The Huntsman? Judging by this film, we did not.
Me Before You (dir by Thea Sharrock)
Me Before You was assisted suicide propaganda, disguised as a Nicolas Sparks-style love story. Emilia Clarke is hired to serve as a caregiver to a paralyzed and bitter former banker played by Sam Claflin. At first they hate each other but then they love each other but it may be too late because Claflin is determined to end his life in Switzerland. Trying to change his mind, Clarke tries to prove to him that it’s a big beautiful world out there. Claflin appreciates the effort but it turns out that he really, really wants to die. It helps, of course, that Switzerland is a really beautiful and romantic country. I mean, if you’re going to end your life, Switzerland is the place to do it. Take that, Sea of Trees.
Anyway, Me Before You makes its points with all the subtlety and nuance of a sledge-hammer that’s been borrowed from the Final Exit Network. It doesn’t help that Clarke and Claflin have next to no chemistry. Even without all the propaganda, Me Before You would have been forgettable. The propaganda just pushes the movie over the line that separates mediocre from terrible.
Mother’s Day (dir by Garry Marshall)
Y’know, the only reason that I’ve put off writing about how much I hated this film is because Garry Marshall died shortly after it was released and I read so many tweets and interviews from people talking about what a nice and sincere guy he was that I actually started to feel guilty for hating his final movie.
But seriously, Mother’s Day was really bad. This was the third of Marshall’s holiday films. All three of them were ensemble pieces that ascribed a ludicrous amount of importance to one particular holiday. None of them were any good, largely because they all felt like cynical cash-ins. If you didn’t see Valentine’s Day, you hated love. If you didn’t see New Year’s Eve, you didn’t care about the future of the world. And if you didn’t see Mother’s Day … well, let’s just not go there, okay?
Mother’s Day takes place in Atlanta and it deals with a group of people who are all either mothers or dealing with a mother. The ensemble is made up of familiar faces — Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson, and others! — but nobody really seems to be making much of an effort to act. Instead, they simple show up, recite a few lines in whatever their trademark style may be, and then cash their paycheck. The whole thing feels so incredibly manipulative and shallow and fake that it leaves you wondering if maybe all future holidays should be canceled.
I know Garry Marshall was a great guy but seriously, Mother’s Day is just the worst.
As far as recent Biblical films go, Risen is not that bad. It takes place shortly after the Crucifixion and stars Joseph Fiennes as a Roman centurion who is assigned to discover why the body of Jesus has disappeared from its tomb. You can probably guess what happens next. The film may be a little bit heavy-handed but the Roman Empire is convincingly recreated, Joseph Fiennes gives a pretty good performance, and Kevin Reynolds keeps the action moving quickly. As a faith-based film that never becomes preachy, Risen is far superior to something like God’s Not Dead 2.
However, with Angelina being pretty much ignored by most of the traditional Oscar precursors and Unbroken getting positive but hardly rapturous reviews, it’s starting to look more and more like Unbroken will be lucky to receive a picture nomination, much less a mention for Jolie.
Now, I haven’t seen Unbroken yet so I can’t really judge whether it deserves any awards consideration or not. However, I can say that Unbroken is not the only film for which Angelina Jolie deserves consideration.
Maleficent came out this summer and did quite well at the box office but it seems to have been forgotten and that’s a shame because it features one of Angelina Jolie’s best performances. The film itself is a revisionist take on Sleeping Beauty, re-telling the story from the point-of-view of the fairy queen Maleficent (played, of course, by Angelina.)
In this version of the story, we see that the true villain was Sleeping Beauty’s father, Stefan (Sharlto Copley). When they were younger, Stefan and Maleficent were lovers but the Stefan eventually abandoned her, knowing that having a relationship with a winged fairy would only serve to thwart his own ambitions. Years later, when the humans attempt to conquer Maleficent’s kingdom, it is announced that whoever slays Maleficent will become the new king. Knowing that Maleficent is still in love with him, Stefan drugs her and then cuts her wings off. Using her wings as evidence to back up his claim that he has killed her, Stefan becomes the new king. The now wingless Maleficent is left alone and embittered. When Stefan’s daughter, Princess Aurora, is born, Maleficent announces that, on her sixteenth birthday, Aurora will sink into a deep sleep and will only be awaken by the kiss of someone who truly loves her.
Maleficent was one of those films that truly divided critics. Male viewers tended to rightfully criticize the film for being tonally inconsistent and for relying too much on CGI. Female critics, however, understood that none of that mattered. As flawed as the film may have been, we knew that the most important thing was Angelina Jolie’s performance. She may have been playing a fairy and she may have been appearing in a movie that was dominated by CGI but Angelina Jolie brought such strength and complexity to the role that she transcended all of the film’s flaws and instead created a thoroughly real character. We understood and we related to Maleficent’s fury. When she first woke up to discover that her wings had been stolen from her, it was devastating because the moment was real. We all knew what had truly happened to Maleficent. When she sought revenge, we sought it with her. When she regretted her actions, we shared her regrets. Her pain was our pain and her triumph was our triumph.
Angelina Jolie gave one of the best performances of the year in Maleficent and she certainly deserves your consideration.
Is it just me, or is this year’s summer blockbuster season incredibly front-loaded? Not only did it get off to a ridiculously early start in April with the release of Captain America : The Winter Soldier, but it seems that, with the notable exception of Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes, which is slated for a July release, everything that I was interested in seeing came out prior to the Memorial Day weekend — which was, in years past, the time when Hollywood’s blockbuster onslaught usually began.
Oh well. I guess there’s still some stuff I have some sort of low-level semi-interest in hitting theaters, with Disney’s Maleficent being a prime example of what I’m talking about. I wasn’t “hyped” for it, per se, but on a rainy Saturday afternoon with nothing else going on, what the hell — it’ll do in a pinch. Anybody with a functioning neural cortex pretty much knows what they’re getting into with something like this — a purportedly “modern re-telling” of a classic fairy tale (in this case Sleeping Beauty) that’s also, perhaps paradoxically, billed as being “truer to the roots” of the story than the universally-known animated version. Maybe everything that’s old really is new again.
In any case, the pattern these kinds of thing inevitably follow was set fairly firmly by Snow White And The Huntsman a couple summers back, and with a live (well, okay, live plus lots of CGI) action version of Cinderella already in the pipeline, it looks like “modernized fairy tales” (that are, again, supposedly “closer” to the “source material”) is a full-blown trend in Tinseltown. At least until one flops spectacularly.
Maleficent is too precise, clinical, and by-the-numbers to be that first big flop, of course, as this is thoroughly audience-tested material from start to finish, and while that same uber-conservative approach definitely sucks any sort of life or individuality from the proceedings, it does ensure that Disney will almost certainly turn a healthy profit off this thing, even with a budget estimated in the neighborhood of $200 million. It is, for all intents and purposes, a can’t-miss investment, and that’s what it plays out as.
Which isn’t the same thing as me saying that Maleficent is actively bad — it’s just that it’s not particularly good, either. Oh, sure, Angelina Jolie is perfect in the title role (there’s already Oscar talk) and it really does feel like it’s a part she was born to play, and the CGI work is spectacular and breathtaking and jaw-dropping and all that, and yeah, Elle Fanning as Aurora ( that’s what we call her now, folks, not “Sleeping Beauty”) leads a very talented supporting case that also includes the likes of Imelda Staunton, Sharlto Copley, Juno Temple, and Brenton Thwaites, all of whom do good work, but it’s all in service to the most pedestrian, production-line cinematic engineering possible. First-time director Robert Stromberg, who hails from a CG effects background, most likely knows what he’s doing here, but he’s given so little room to maneuver that failure just simply isn’t an option. This is a film that literally could have been directed by nearly anyone with at least some sort of cinematic background and turned out okay.
And maybe that’s what bugged me about it the most : just that sort of hyper-aggressive okay-ness. Given the opportunity to completely re-set the table, the Disney execs who originated and then green-lit this idea were more than happy to just tinker around the edges and “update” things without actually changing them. We all know the story, and while we’re admittedly getting a heavily-padded version of it told from the perspective of the “bad guy,” the fact remains that at the end of the day, all we’re left with is a more expensive, glitzier take on what we’ve already seen.
Maybe I missed a bit by just seeing this in 2-D, but let’s face it : any flick that leans upon the crutches of 3-D,Imax, and all that crap to “get the most from it” is one that’s entirely reliant upon bells and whistles — and while those bells and whistles are, no two ways about it, most impressive in this case, there’s just no substitute for a genuinely involving script, and Maleficent doesn’t have one. Mind you, it doesn’t have a bad script, either, it just — has a script. And the job of that script is to provide some sort of plausible set-up for one admittedly magnificent effects sequence after another. It’s cool and all for about a half hour, but after two full hours of Stromberg and company having to top themselves every five to ten minutes, you just end up feeling sort of worn down by events rather than invested in them.
Still, I suspect that Maleficent is going to prove to be pretty well “review-proof” and enjoy a healthy run in theaters before going on to do equal, if not even greater, business on home video. This is a film that’s precisely engineered to do exactly what it’s supposed to and nothing less (or more). Kinda like a robot. And it’s that robotic, auto-pilot, cruise control sensation that prevents this movie from being at all memorable — for good or ill.
I used to say that Hope was a useless emotion. So many things come close and never quite make it. A surgery, a marriage maybe, finding the right job, or a myriad of things we try for and fail. As we get older, our hope is hesitant and reality becomes our future.
Through the Shattered Lens 