The Films of 2025: The Smashing Machine (dir by Benny Safdie)


As a film lover, there are three letters that strike fear in my heart.  U.  F.  C.

Seriously, directors — especially male directors — love the UFC and Mixed Martial Arts in general.  If I had to guess, I would say that in another few years, there will be no more boxing movies.  Sorry, Balboa.  Sorry, Creed.  You’re going to be replaced by movies that are exclusively about men kicking each other in a cage and then pounding on each other once they’re down.  I’m not even saying that’s a bad thing.  Obviously, the sport has a lot of fans.  In the future, when Conor McGregor is doing double duty as both the President of Ireland and the Pope, a lot it will be due to the popularity of MMA.  I have to say, though, that I almost always seem to find films about MMA and cage matches to be a little bit boring, unless they star Jean-Claude Van Damme or, in some cases, Lou Ferrigno.  I prefer boxing movies.  I guess I like my fights without the little kicks.

The Smashing Machine is a biopic of Mark Kerr (played by Dwayne Johnson), an MMA fighter who, the film tells us, was one of the early pioneers of the sport.  When he’s first seen in the film, he’s being interviewed about his success in the UFC.  We see a few clips of him fighting and watching his fists fly, we understand why he’s known as The Smashing Machine.  He’s known for his ability to end fights quickly.  He assures the interviewer that he doesn’t hate any of the men that he fights.  (“Is he okay?” Mark asks about an opponent after one particularly brutal beat down.)  Mark leaves the United States for Pride, which is Japan’s version of UFC.  Not long after arriving in Japan, he discovers that Pride has changed its ruled to disallow almost all of Mark’s techniques because Mark was ending the fights too quickly.

One thing that we notice about Mark is that he’s always smiling and that he seems to have a rather low-key personality for someone who makes his living as a fighter.  It’s easy to see that he’s holding back a lot of his emotions and that he gets those emotions out in the ring.  When he’s not fighting, he’s living in a nice home with his girlfriend, Dawn (Emily Blunt).  He’s a bit of a control freak, worrying about the cat getting on his couch, telling Dawn exactly how to make his protein shakes, and obsessing over the way a cactus is growing outside.  Mark may be a fighter but he also constantly worries about his “tummy,” which is apparently overly sensitive.  Mark is also a drug addict, popping painkillers like candy and shooting up in his bathroom.  When Mark and Dawn argue, his temper can flare and he can go from being soft-spoken Mark to the someone who can tear a door off of its hinges.  After Mark loses his first fight, he sinks deeper into depression and then tries to get clean.  Complicating things is that Dawn is still using and Mark is preparing for his next fight in Japan.

For all the anticipation and the hype that surrounded its release, The Smashing Machine is an uneven film.  It’s not necessarily a bad film but it is a film that leaves the viewer feeling somewhat detached from the action, on the outside looking in.  Dwayne Johnson gives a good performance as Mark and Emily Blunt gives a good performance as Dawn but they’re never quite believable as a couple.  (In fact, I would argue that Johnson’s best dramatic performance remains his nearly silent but physically powerful turn in the unfairly overlooked Faster.)  Because the film is based on a true story and, I imagine, also because the film was directed by Benny Safdie, The Smashing Machine avoids a lot of the traditional cliches of the sports film.  It’s very much an A24 film, wearing it’s indie aesthetic like a chip on its shoulder.  I have to admit though that, while watching the film, I missed a lot of those cliches.  There are some good scenes scattered throughout The Smashing Machine but there’s also not much narrative momentum.

That said, I do have to say that the film’s ending, which feature the real Mark Kerr shopping for groceries, did bring a smile to my face.  He’s someone who has been through a lot so seeing him smiling and debating which cut of beef to purchase was definitely something of a relief.

 

Playing Catch-Up With The Lesser Films of 2015: Get Hard, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Pixels, The Wedding Ringer


SPOILER ALERT!

One or more of the films reviewed below will appear on my list of the 16 Worst Films of 2015!  Can you guess which one(s)?

Get_Hard_film_poster

Get Hard (dir by Etan Cohen)

Will Ferrell is funny and Kevin Hart is funny and you would think that putting them together in one movie would be especially funny but … nope.  Get Hard, which I watched on HBO a few weeks ago, is incredibly not funny.  Ferrell plays a hedge fund manager who is convicted of fraud and embezzlement and it’s a sign of how haphazard this film is that I was never really sure whether he was supposed to be guilty or not.  Anyway, Ferrell is terrified of going to prison but fortunately, he runs into Kevin Hart.  Hart is playing the owner of a car wash here, a mild-mannered family man who simply wants to be able to afford to send his daughter to a good school.  However, Ferrell assumes that, since Hart is black, Hart must be an ex-con.

So, Ferrell hires Hart to teach him how to survive in prison and Hart agrees.  And, to be honest, this is not a terrible idea for an edgy satire but the film pulls it punches and never really exposes or challenges the racism that led to Ferrell hiring Hart in the first place.  Instead, it’s more interested in making homophobic jokes about prison rape (there’s a particularly long and unpleasant scene where Ferrell attempts to learn how to give a blow job that feels like it was lifted from a deservedly forgotten 90s film) and eventually, it devolves into a painfully predictable action film.

Paul_Blart_-_Mall_Cop_2_poster

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (dir by Andy Fickman)

I know what someone out there is saying.

“YOU’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THE FIRST PAUL BLART: MALL COP!!!  WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO REVIEW THE SEQUEL!?”

Well, listen — it’s true.  I’ve never seen the first film and the only reason I watched the second one (on HBO at a friend’s house, which means that it literally cost me nothing) was because I had heard how terrible it was and I figured that I should see it before making out my list of the worst films of the year.  But, even with that in mind, I think I can still give this film a fair review.

(At the very least, I’ll try.  Dammit, I’ll try.)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is one of those films that is so forgettable that you forget about it while you’re watching.  Kevin James plays Paul Blart, a mall security guard who goes to Las Vegas for a security guard convention and ends up getting involved in thwarting a big heist.  It’s a comedy, though I can’t think of a single time I laughed.  Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 was not quite the abomination that I had been led to expect.  It was, in no way, comparable to Birdemic, April Rain, or Man of Steel.  Instead, it was just an incredibly empty and soulless film.  It was a zombie movie that existed only to eat money.

One thing that is frustrating about a film like Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is that Kevin James seems like he could actually survive appearing in a good film, if he could just get a chance to make one.  He’s likable and he’s got an everyman quality about him.  But, for now, he seems to be trapped in films where he either plays Paul Blart or he’s surrounded by talking animals.

PixelsOfficialPoster

Pixels (dir by Chris Columbus)

Speaking of Kevin James, he’s also in Pixels!  He plays William Cooper.  When he was a kid, he was obsessed with playing video games.  Now that he’s an adult, he’s the President of the United States!  And he still keeps in contact with his best friend from childhood, Sam.  Sam, needless to say, will never be President.  When Sam was a kid, he was traumatized when he lost a national video game championship.  Now that he’s an adult, he installs home-theater systems and he’s played by Adam Sandler…

When Earth is invaded, it turns out that the aliens are under the impression that video games are real!  So, they recreate a bunch of classic video game characters and send them off to do havoc.  Who better to stop them than the President and Sam?  And who better to help than a nerdy conspiracy theorist (Josh Gad) and Eddie Planet (Peter Dinklage), the same guy who cheated in order to defeat Sam at the video game championship….

If you’re thinking that sounds like way too much plot for a silly comedy about video games coming to life, you’re right.  Pixels has some cute moments (though, based on the comments and occasional laughter of the middle-aged people in the theater around me, I get the feeling that a lot of the film’s video game-themed humor was a bit too “before my time” for me to fully appreciate) but oh my God, it was such an unnecessarily busy movie.  The idea behind Pixels had some potential but the film refused to take advantage of it.

I’ve said this before and I always get some strange looks but I honestly do think that — if he would actually break out of his comfort zone and stop doing movies that mostly seem to be about finding an excuse to hang out with his friends — Adam Sandler could be an acceptable dramatic actor.  Check out his work in Punch-Drunk Love, Funny People, Reign Over Me, Spanglish, and even the first half of The Cobbler.  (Tarantino even wrote the role of Donny Donowitz in Inglourious Basterds with Sandler in mind.)  The fact that Sandler could be doing good work makes his continual bad work all the more frustrating and annoying.

TheWeddingRingerPoster

The Wedding Ringer (dir by Jeremy Garelick)

And speaking of Josh Gad…he’s also in The Wedding Ringer!  For that matter, so is Kevin Hart.  Hart plays a guy who, for a sizable fee, will pretend to the lifelong best friend (and best man) for grooms who do not have enough real friends to fill out a wedding party.  Hart refuses to get emotionally involved with his clients but that all changes when, despite himself, he becomes friends with Josh Gad, who is on the verge of getting married to Kaley Cuoco.

The Wedding Ringer got terrible reviews but it also was very popular with audiences and I imagine a lot of that had to do with the relationship between Hart and Gad.  Both of them give very sincere performances that elevate some otherwise unpromising material.  The Wedding Ringer wasn’t good (it’s predictable, it’s portrayal of Kaley Cuoco’s character verges on misogynistic) but, at the same time, it wasn’t as bad as it was made out to be.  In the end, it was pretty much a typical January film.

I'm so excited!  I'm so excited!  I'm so ... wait a minute, am I just here because this is a post about bad movies?

I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so … wait a minute, am I just here because this is a post about bad movies?

Which of these four films will make my list of the worst 16 films of 2015?  The answer shall be revealed soon!