Retro Television Reviews: T. and T. 1.13 “Sweet Tooth” and 1.14 “Playing With Fire”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the adventures of T.S. Turner continue!

Episode 1.13 “Sweet Tooth”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 28th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “a former con man claims to be starting a new chapter in his life, but I keep hearing the same old story.”

At the Toronto courthouse, T.S. and Amy are approached by a prosecutor named Billings (David Ferry).  He’s wearing a plaid suit, which is the show’s way of indicating that he’s not as good an attorney as Amy.  Billings says that he needs to discuss a private matter with T.S.

“Maybe he wants fashion tips,” T.S. growls.

Billings explains to T.S. that a man with whom T.S. served time, a conman named Lee Boone, has been released from prison.  The police think that Boone is trying to set up a new con in T.S.’s neighborhood but Billings thinks that Boone is trying to go straight.  Billings asks T.S. to investigate.  He also asks T.S. to keep their arrangement strictly confidential.

“And I’d appreciate it if you changed that jacket,” T.S. replies, “It gives me an earache.”

That said, T.S. agrees to check out Lee Boone, especially after he hears that Boone is the father of a seven year-old son.

Meanwhile, Lee Boone (Anthony Sherwood) is giving a speech in front of an old church.  He’s asking for donations to turn the church into a community center.  Among those donating money is T.S.’s aunt, Martha (Jackie Richardson).  T.S is stunned to discover that Lee is the man who he knew in prison as “Sweet Tooth.”  After Boone finishes his speech, T.S. confronts him and accuses him of trying to con people out of their money.  Boone argues that he’s changed and he’s just trying to give back to the community.  T.S. doesn’t buy it, later telling Billing that he judges a man not by his words but by his eyes and, “I looked in Sweet Tooth’s eyes and nothing had changed.”

On T.S.’s recommendation, Boone is arrested.  Guess who is assigned to be Boone’s lawyer?  Amy Taler!  Now, considering that Amy is partners with someone who would undoubtedly be called as a witness if the case ever went to trial, this seems like a clear conflict of interest but maybe they do things different up in Canada.  Amy is not only convinced that Boone is innocent but she’s also angry at T.S. for working with prosecutor’s office.

You know who else is angry with T.S.?  Aunt Martha!  Aunt Martha brings Boone’s 7 year-old son down to the gym and orders the kid to ask Turner, “Why did you put my Daddy in jail?”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt him, son,” T.S. says, “I was trying to help him.”

Aunt Martha announces that Lee Boone is back on the street and the entire community is rallying around him and donating their money for the community center.

Stunned, T.S. returns to his office and contemplates the mysteries of life.  When Amy tells him that she believes that everyone deserves a second chance, T.S. says, “And what if you’re wrong?  What if all those people get kicked in the teeth again?”

The next morning, Amy goes down to the church and waits, with Aunt Martha, for Boone to show up and announce his plans for the money that’s he’s raised.  However, Boone never shows up because it turns out that T.S. Turner was right and it really was all an elaborate con!  Instead, having packed all of his money in suitcase, Boone and his son prepare to leave their apartment building and head to another town.

However, T.S. is waiting for them in the stairwell.  When Boone claims that he was just about to head for the church, Turner declares, “With a suitcase full of money?  Come on, brother!  Give me some rap!  Give it up, Sweet Tooth!  Your son deserves better!  If you want a better life for your kid, you need to go to that church and stand by your word.  You just gotta believe your own rap!  EVERYONE ELSE DOES!”

At the church, Aunt Martha tries to keep the crowd calm by singing a gospel song.  Given how I feel about gospel music, you can imagine how relieved I was when a reformed Sweet Tooth finally showed up at the church and everyone stopped singing.  Sweet Tooth goes straight and uses the money to open up the community center.  All it took was T.S. Turner showing up at his apartment building!

As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that Mr. T’s main strength as an actor was his innate earnestness.  As limited as his range may have been, the viewer never doubted for a minute that he believed everything that he said.  This episode worked because it allowed Mr. T. to be himself.

Episode 1.14 “Playing With Fire”

(Dir by Harvey Frost, originally aired on April 11th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “the heat is on a teenage girl who’s charged with arson.”

Across Canada, someone is setting fires.  After teenager Felicity (Susannah Hoffman) is found playing a flute in front of a fire that’s raging in a park, she’s arrested.  Because Amy is the only defense attorney in Toronto, she’s assigned to the case.  And when Amy is assigned to your case, that means that T.S. Turner is assigned to it as well!

Unfortunately, Felicity isn’t very helpful and gets defensive whenever Amy asks her why she always goes to the park to play her flute, even in the middle of the harsh Canadian winter.  Turner goes down to the park to investigate on his own and he meets Kramer (Alan Fawcett), a real estate developer who wants to build a luxury condo in the middle of the park.  Since this is T. and T., “luxury condo” is all we need to hear to know that Kramer is a bad guy.

Another building in the park burns down and again, for some reason, Felicity is nearby playing her flute.  Felicity is again accused of being the arsonist, which leads to a police interrogation scene where we discover that, as an attorney, Amy’s main legal strategy is to dramatically roll her eyes whenever anyone asks her client a question.  Meanwhile, T.S. heads down to the park and discovers that the building was insured for a million Canadian dollars.

“The only way we’re going to avoid paying,” the claims agent explains, “is if that lady lawyer gets that flutist off.”

“Lady lawyer!?” Turner replies, “You mean Ms. Amy Taler!”

“I hope she pleads as good as she looks,” the agent says.

T.S. nods.  “I’ll pass it on.”

Felicity is dragged down to a mental hospital, where she is committed for a week-long evaluation.  She sits in her room and plays her flute and I have to say that it didn’t take me long to get really sick of Felicity and her stupid flute.  Seriously, every time we see her, she’s playing the flute and getting angry about Amy trying to clear her name.  What an annoying character!

Anyway, Felicity overhears Turner telling Amy that he thinks that Kramer is behind the arsons so Felicity breaks out of the mental hospital, goes down to one of Kramer’s buildings, and starts playing her flute.  When Kramer confronts Felicity, she threatens to burn down the building for real.  This leads to Kramer confessing, just in time for Turner to show up and subdue him.

That’s the end of that.  Felicity’s name is cleared but Felicity is still such an annoying character that it’s difficult to really care.

Next week: Amy’s frequently frazzled administrative assistant gets an episode of her very own!

Horror Film Review: Terror Train (dir by Roger Spottiswoode)


Wow.  Fraternities are mean!

How else do you explain the prank that begins the 1980 slasher film, Terror Train?  At a party, awkward pledge Kenny (Derek MacKinnon) is told that Alana Maxwell (Jamie Lee Curtis) is waiting for him in an upstairs bedroom and she totally wants to have sex with him!  Poor Kenny.  Really, he should have been able to figure that this was a prank but I guess he’s just naive.  Anyway, he goes upstairs, strips down to his underwear, and listens as Alana says, “Don’t be shy …. kiss me!”

Kenny thinks that Alana is waiting for him in the bed but actually, she’s hiding behind a curtain.  So, what’s in the bed?  Well, as Kenny soon discovers, it’s a limbless corpse!  Oh, those wacky pre-med students!  Under the direction of Doc (Hart Bochner), they’ve stolen a cadaver from the medical school and they’ve used it to play the joke of the century!  Everyone bursts into the room, laughing.

Ha ha!  Funny joke, right?

Well, not to Kenny.  Kenny totally freaks out and starts spinning around and gets all wrapped up in the sheets.  Needless to say, Kenny does not get laid that night.

In fact, Kenny ends up losing his mind.  And that’s unfortunate but, as they say, life goes on.  Three years later, the pranksters are all due to graduate so they’re going to throw a costume party on a train!  The conductor (Ben Johnson) watches as these rich, costumed college kids get on his train and you can just tell that he’s thinking, “There better not be no funny business.”  He need not worry!  Alana is on the train and she still feels so bad over what happened to Kenny that you can be sure that there won’t be any pranks during this graduation party!

Unfortunately for everyone else, Kenny’s decided to get on the train as well.  While his former classmates are smoking weed, getting drunk, dancing to the best disco music of 1980, and taunting a magician (David Copperfield), Kenny is killing people and stealing their costumes.

Kenny’s first victim actually dies before the train leaves.  When he comes staggering up to everyone with a sword sticking out of him, everyone assumes that it’s just another joke.  Nope!  Turns out the sword is real but everyone’s too busy boarding to notice as the guy collapses to the ground and is promptly dragged underneath the train.  In a scene that always makes me cringe, the train slowly crushes him as it starts to move forward.  I mean, seriously …. Agck!

So, now Kenny is wandering around the train, dressed like Grouch Marx and killing people.  It takes people a while to notice because we’re not exactly dealing with the smartest group of college graduates.  And, once they do realize …. well, what are they going to do?  They’re stuck on a train in the middle of nowhere!  Even if they do get off the train, it’s snowing and below freezing outside!  I mean, it’s almost as bad as Minnesota in January out there….

Of the many slasher films that Jamie Lee Curtis appeared in after Halloween, Terror Train is definitely the best.  After making his directorial debut here, Roger Spottiswoode went on to become one of the busiest directors in Hollywood and you can tell why when you watch this movie.  Spottiswoode’s makes great and atmospheric use of the train and Kenny’s habit of constantly changing his costume keeps you guessing just where he might be at any given time.  Even more importantly, Spottiswoode takes the time to develop the characters so that they become more than just cardboard victims.  Jamie Lee Curtis, Hart Bochner, Sandee Curris, and Timothy Webber all give excellent performance as the objects of Kenny’s wrath while old veteran Ben Johnson brings some gravitas to the film as the wise conductor.

(My only objection is that the worst of the pranksters is named Doc, which happens to be the name of our cat.  And let me just say that Doc the cat would never pull as cruel a prank as Doc the medical student.)

As we all know, Jamie Lee Curtis will be returning to the horror genre later this month.  She’ll be playing Laurie Strode in David Gordon Green’s Halloween remake or reboot or sequel or whatever it is.  Famously, Curtis refused to appear in horror films for several years, saying that she didn’t want to be typecast.  That was understandable on her part and, as much as I love horror movies, it was probably a smart career move.  That said, the slasher films that Curtis appeared are some of the best of the genre.  Halloween, Terror Train, and even Prom Night are all classics of their kind.  Terror Train is a suspense masterpiece, perfect for any cold and snowy night when you want to scream a little.

Playing Catch Up With The Films of 2016: Race (dir by Stephen Hopkins)


race

Do you remember Race?

It came out in February of this year and it was kind of a big deal for a week.  I think everyone was expecting it to be a big hit, just because there’s never much competition in February.  Race is a biopic of Jesse Owens, the African-American runner who sets world records and won gold medals at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, defeating a legion of Aryan athletes while Adolf Hitler watched from the stands.  Not only is that a compelling story but 2016 was also an Olympic year.  Eddie The Eagle had already been a success due to the Olympic connection.  Add to that, Focus Features promoted the Hell out of this film.  In they weeks leading up to its release, I saw commercials for it on a nearly hourly basis.  The reviews, when the came, were mixed but generally positive.

I’m not really sure how Race did at the box office.  According to Wikipedia, on its opening weekend, it was sixth at the box office.  Apparently, the film only had a budget of five million and ultimately made a profit of $20,000,0000.  I guess that would make it a success.  All I know is that it seems like, for all the hype, Race just kind of came and went.

In fact, I didn’t see Race until about two months ago.  It’s one of those films that’s not really great but it’s certainly not bad.  It’s pretty much the epitome of being adequate.  It was well-made and generally well-acted.  Director Stephen Hopkins occasionally struggled to maintain a consistent pace (Race is over 2 hours long and feels longer) but he still did a good job filming the scenes of Owens of running and competing.  In the role of Jesse Owens, Stephan James was well-cast.  You not only believed him in the dramatic scenes but he was also believable as a record-setting athlete.  He had some great scenes with Jason Sudekis, who was surprisingly believable in the role of Jesse’s coach.

With all that in mind, why didn’t Race make more of an impression?  I think that, too often, Hopkins allowed the film’s focus to wander away from Jesse and the inner conflict he felt as he won medals for a country where he was treated like a second-class citizen.  There were too many random scenes of Jeremy Irons and William Hurt, playing Olympic officials and debating whether or not to boycott Hitler’s Olympics.  During the second half of the film, Leni Riefenstahl (Carice van Houten) showed up and we got a few scenes of her trying to film Jesse’s triumph at the Olympics despite the interference of Nazi propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbles (Barnaby Metschurat).  All of these extra scenes are supposed to set Jesse’s struggle in a historic context but they’re unnecessary and distracting.  All the context that the film needs can be found in the fact that Jesse was a black man living in America in the 1930s.

For the most part, Race is uneven but occasionally the film delivers a powerful scene or two.  One of the most powerful parts of the film comes when Jesse, after setting world records and being proclaimed as a hero across the world, is informed that he still can’t enter a New York club through the front door.  As well, the scenes depicting Jesse’s friendship with German jump Luz Long (David Kross) are poignant.  In fact, they’re so poignant that I initially assumed that they were fictionalized for the film but actually, Jesse and Luz Long did become good friends during the 1936 Olympics.

Race is uneven but it’s not bad.  Stephan James gives a good performance as Jesse and, if nothing else, the film provides a worthy history lesson.