Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, T.S. goes up against his scariest opponent yet!
Episode 2.10 “Conspiracy”
(Dir by Robert Malenfant, originally aired on December 5th, 1988)
Two pre-teens, Paul (Michael Fantini) and Colby (Alan Fawcett), come across a million dollars hidden away in an apparently deserted warehouse. In slow motion, Paul throw the money into the air and declares that he and Colby are rich. Of course, Paul doesn’t stop to consider that the money is probably linked to something illegal and that it’s dangerous for him and his best friend to take it.
Soon, Paul and Colby are spending money all over the place. They buy new clothes. They buy new bicycles. Local store owner Bud (Charles Woods Gray) is concerned about the amount of money that Paul and Colby suddenly seem to have. He meets with his old friend, T.S. Turner, and asks Turner to talk to the boys.
Paul and Colby meet with Turner at Decker’s gym and Paul lies and says that the money came from his grandmother. He also says that he loaned Colby the money for Colby’s new bike. After the boys leave, Turner says that he knows that there is more to the story and that he’s going to investigate on his own. Turner invites Joe to investigate with him. It’s good to see that the show’s writers finally remembered that Turner and Amy basically adopted Joe at the start of the second season.
Turner is not the only one investigating. The counterfeiter who created the money wants to know who stole it. Birken (Martin Neufeld) may drive a car with a personalized license plate that reads “Rainbow” but he’s still a scary dude. He’s so dangerous that he doesn’t even wear a shirt half the time! No one is going to tell Birken what to do.
Eventually, Birken kidnaps Paul and ties him to a chair and threatens to suffocate him if he doesn’t help Birken get back his money. That leads to this rather disturbing sight:
The villains on T and T are usually fairly generic and forgettable but Birken is probably the scariest man in Canada. He’s certainly the first villain on this show to be just as intimidating at Mr. T. As soon as Birken shows up, the viewer has no doubt that he’s willing to kill anyone to get back his money. For once, the stakes on this show feels real.
Or, at least, they feel real until T.S. Turner shows up at Birken’s loft. (This is yet another episode where T.S. somehow manages to sneak into a building without being noticed.) When he confronts Birken, Birken attemps to show off his karate moves but T.S. takes him down with one punch.
It’s a bit of an anti-climatic ending, which is a shame because this was actually, by the standards of T and T, a pretty good episode. Birken was both memorable eccentric and genuinely menacing. Still, he was no match for T.S. Turner. No one stops Mr. T.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the adventures of T.S. Turner continue!
Episode 1.13 “Sweet Tooth”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 28th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “a former con man claims to be starting a new chapter in his life, but I keep hearing the same old story.”
At the Toronto courthouse, T.S. and Amy are approached by a prosecutor named Billings (David Ferry). He’s wearing a plaid suit, which is the show’s way of indicating that he’s not as good an attorney as Amy. Billings says that he needs to discuss a private matter with T.S.
“Maybe he wants fashion tips,” T.S. growls.
Billings explains to T.S. that a man with whom T.S. served time, a conman named Lee Boone, has been released from prison. The police think that Boone is trying to set up a new con in T.S.’s neighborhood but Billings thinks that Boone is trying to go straight. Billings asks T.S. to investigate. He also asks T.S. to keep their arrangement strictly confidential.
“And I’d appreciate it if you changed that jacket,” T.S. replies, “It gives me an earache.”
That said, T.S. agrees to check out Lee Boone, especially after he hears that Boone is the father of a seven year-old son.
Meanwhile, Lee Boone (Anthony Sherwood) is giving a speech in front of an old church. He’s asking for donations to turn the church into a community center. Among those donating money is T.S.’s aunt, Martha (Jackie Richardson). T.S is stunned to discover that Lee is the man who he knew in prison as “Sweet Tooth.” After Boone finishes his speech, T.S. confronts him and accuses him of trying to con people out of their money. Boone argues that he’s changed and he’s just trying to give back to the community. T.S. doesn’t buy it, later telling Billing that he judges a man not by his words but by his eyes and, “I looked in Sweet Tooth’s eyes and nothing had changed.”
On T.S.’s recommendation, Boone is arrested. Guess who is assigned to be Boone’s lawyer? Amy Taler! Now, considering that Amy is partners with someone who would undoubtedly be called as a witness if the case ever went to trial, this seems like a clear conflict of interest but maybe they do things different up in Canada. Amy is not only convinced that Boone is innocent but she’s also angry at T.S. for working with prosecutor’s office.
You know who else is angry with T.S.? Aunt Martha! Aunt Martha brings Boone’s 7 year-old son down to the gym and orders the kid to ask Turner, “Why did you put my Daddy in jail?”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt him, son,” T.S. says, “I was trying to help him.”
Aunt Martha announces that Lee Boone is back on the street and the entire community is rallying around him and donating their money for the community center.
Stunned, T.S. returns to his office and contemplates the mysteries of life. When Amy tells him that she believes that everyone deserves a second chance, T.S. says, “And what if you’re wrong? What if all those people get kicked in the teeth again?”
The next morning, Amy goes down to the church and waits, with Aunt Martha, for Boone to show up and announce his plans for the money that’s he’s raised. However, Boone never shows up because it turns out that T.S. Turner was right and it really was all an elaborate con! Instead, having packed all of his money in suitcase, Boone and his son prepare to leave their apartment building and head to another town.
However, T.S. is waiting for them in the stairwell. When Boone claims that he was just about to head for the church, Turner declares, “With a suitcase full of money? Come on, brother! Give me some rap! Give it up, Sweet Tooth! Your son deserves better! If you want a better life for your kid, you need to go to that church and stand by your word. You just gotta believe your own rap! EVERYONE ELSE DOES!”
At the church, Aunt Martha tries to keep the crowd calm by singing a gospel song. Given how I feel about gospel music, you can imagine how relieved I was when a reformed Sweet Tooth finally showed up at the church and everyone stopped singing. Sweet Tooth goes straight and uses the money to open up the community center. All it took was T.S. Turner showing up at his apartment building!
As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that Mr. T’s main strength as an actor was his innate earnestness. As limited as his range may have been, the viewer never doubted for a minute that he believed everything that he said. This episode worked because it allowed Mr. T. to be himself.
Episode 1.14 “Playing With Fire”
(Dir by Harvey Frost, originally aired on April 11th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “the heat is on a teenage girl who’s charged with arson.”
Across Canada, someone is setting fires. After teenager Felicity (Susannah Hoffman) is found playing a flute in front of a fire that’s raging in a park, she’s arrested. Because Amy is the only defense attorney in Toronto, she’s assigned to the case. And when Amy is assigned to your case, that means that T.S. Turner is assigned to it as well!
Unfortunately, Felicity isn’t very helpful and gets defensive whenever Amy asks her why she always goes to the park to play her flute, even in the middle of the harsh Canadian winter. Turner goes down to the park to investigate on his own and he meets Kramer (Alan Fawcett), a real estate developer who wants to build a luxury condo in the middle of the park. Since this is T. and T., “luxury condo” is all we need to hear to know that Kramer is a bad guy.
Another building in the park burns down and again, for some reason, Felicity is nearby playing her flute. Felicity is again accused of being the arsonist, which leads to a police interrogation scene where we discover that, as an attorney, Amy’s main legal strategy is to dramatically roll her eyes whenever anyone asks her client a question. Meanwhile, T.S. heads down to the park and discovers that the building was insured for a million Canadian dollars.
“The only way we’re going to avoid paying,” the claims agent explains, “is if that lady lawyer gets that flutist off.”
“Lady lawyer!?” Turner replies, “You mean Ms. Amy Taler!”
“I hope she pleads as good as she looks,” the agent says.
T.S. nods. “I’ll pass it on.”
Felicity is dragged down to a mental hospital, where she is committed for a week-long evaluation. She sits in her room and plays her flute and I have to say that it didn’t take me long to get really sick of Felicity and her stupid flute. Seriously, every time we see her, she’s playing the flute and getting angry about Amy trying to clear her name. What an annoying character!
Anyway, Felicity overhears Turner telling Amy that he thinks that Kramer is behind the arsons so Felicity breaks out of the mental hospital, goes down to one of Kramer’s buildings, and starts playing her flute. When Kramer confronts Felicity, she threatens to burn down the building for real. This leads to Kramer confessing, just in time for Turner to show up and subdue him.
That’s the end of that. Felicity’s name is cleared but Felicity is still such an annoying character that it’s difficult to really care.
Next week: Amy’s frequently frazzled administrative assistant gets an episode of her very own!
Through the Shattered Lens 