Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, we begin season 7!

Episodes 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 1st, 1983)

It’s time for season seven of The Love Boat!

Gopher has been promoted to head purser.  For six seasons, he was assistant purser and I always wondered who the head purser was.  Apparently, there wasn’t one because Stubing promoted him without firing anyone.  It’s possible that I just don’t know how cruise ships work.

The Love Boat crew starts off the season with a cruise around China!  I guess the old saying is true — only Stubing could go to China.  I kept waiting for Stubing to announce that he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation but he didn’t.  I was a little bit disappointed by that.  Instead, Stubing and the crew saw the sights.  There’s a panda bear!  There’s the Great Wall of China!  There’s a bunch of young people all singing, almost as the future of their loved ones depended on doing a good job!  In fact, this premiere episode is really more about seeing the sights of China than it is about any of the drama playing out on the boat.  I guess that makes since.  This episode aired in the pre-Internet age of 1983, so for the audience, this really was a chance to see a world that they probably couldn’t otherwise experience.  It’s not like they could go on YouTube and do a search for China or something like that.  It was up to The Love Boat to open up the world!

That said, Chinese medicine came in for a bit of criticism.  Susan Anton played a woman who didn’t trust doctors and who thought buying a Chinese symbol for good luck would keep her safe.  However, when she suddenly had intense stomach pain, it was up to Doc to save her life.  Where’s your good luck charm now!?

Linda Evans played a woman who fell in love with Lee Majors, little suspecting that Majors was the author of the “Dear Roberta” advice column.  Some of “Roberta’s” advice led to Evans divorcing her previous husband.

Lee Horsley played a man with two girlfriends (Erin Moran and Pat Klous).  Uh-oh!  They all ended up on the boat at the same time!

Finally, Ursula Andress played a dying woman who fell for a mysterious but charming passenger (John Forsythe).  Unfortunately, Forsythe had a warrant out for his arrest and Detective Michael Constantine was determined to take him into custody.  This story was unique in that it had an unhappy ending!  While the crew had a few unhappy endings (Remember when Julie was left at the altar?), this was the first time that things didn’t work out for a passenger.

Was this a good episode?  It was, strictly from the point of view that I like The Love Boat crew and I enjoy spending time with them.  This episode was occasionally a bit too much of a travelogue but the Andress/Forsythe story carried some weight.  All in all, it was a decent start for season 7.

Song of the Day: Cocaine Blues (by Johnny Cash)


Johnny Cash’s “Cocaine Blues” rolling over Lucy gleefully mowing down the ghoul Elvis-faction is one of those perfectly twisted Fallout moments — absurd, violent, and darkly funny. The song’s tale of a killer singing about his own crimes while Lucy grins through the carnage gives the whole scene a warped playfulness. Cash’s deliberate rhythm, all swagger and doom, turns what could’ve been grim into something closer to a dance — a gunslinging ballet where the wasteland’s chaos feels almost celebratory. That contrast is what makes it pop.

In that moment, “Cocaine Blues” becomes more than just needle-drop nostalgia; it’s commentary on Lucy’s transformation. She’s still got that vault-born cheer in her step, but now there’s something unhinged behind it — she’s caught up in the thrill. The imagery of her gunning down rhinestoned ghouls to Cash’s steady beat blurs innocence and indulgence — she’s no longer reacting to the brutality around her, she’s participating in it with genuine abandon. The song’s tale of killing and comeuppance hangs over her like prophecy, reminding us that even the brightest smile in the wasteland can cast a long shadow.

As the gunfire fades and Cash’s voice trails off, the irony hangs in the dust. Fallout has always thrived on these juxtapositions — the sunny Americana soundtrack to utter moral decay. “Cocaine Blues” leaves the scene pulsing with contradictions: joy and violence, freedom and madness, music and mayhem. It’s the sound of Lucy crossing another invisible line while smiling all the way through it, and Cash is there to make sure we don’t miss the joke.

Cocaine Blues

Early one mornin’ while makin’ the rounds
Took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
Went right home and I went to bed
I stuck that lovin’ 44 beneath my head

Got up next mornin’ and I grabbed that gun
Took a shot of cocaine and away I run
Made a good run, but ran too slow
They overtook me down in Juarez, Mexico

Laid in the hot joints takin’ the pill
In walked the sheriff from Jericho Hill
He said, “Willy Lee, your name is not Jack Brown
You’re the dirty hop that shot your woman down”

Said, “Yes, sir, yes, my name is Willy Lee
If you’ve got a warrant, just read it to me
Shot her down because she made me sore
I thought I was her daddy, but she had five more”

When I was arrested, I was dressed in black
They put me on a train and it took me back
Had no friends for to go my bail
They slapped my dried up carcass in that county jail

Got up next mornin’ ’bout a half past nine
Spied the sheriff coming down the line
Hopped and he coughed as he cleared his throat
He said, “Come on you dirty hop into that district court”

Into the courtroom, my trial began
Where I was handled by 12 honest men
Just before the jury started out
I saw that little judge commence to look about

In about five minutes in walked the man
Holding the verdict in his right hand
The verdict read in the first degree
I hollered, “Lordy, Lordy, have mercy on me”

The judge he smiled as he picked up his pen
99 years in the Folsom pen’
99 years underneath that ground
I can’t forget the day I shot that bad bitch down

Come on you hops and listen unto me
Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be

The Covers of Headquarters Detective


Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

It appears that there were at least two pulp magazines called Headquarters Detective.  This was a version that ran for 8 issues in 1936.  And then there’s the better-known version that ran from 1940 t0 1955.  As you can tell from the covers, both versions told the same type of true crime stories.  The covers definitely emphasized the sordid aspects of the stories within.

by Sam Cherry

by Sam Cheery

by Sam Cherry

by Allen Gustav Anderson

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Uknown

by Sam Cherry

by Fred Charles Rodewald

by Allen Gustav Anderson

Review: Fallout (Season 2, Episode 4 “The Demon in the Snow”)


“If doing the right thing makes me a traitor, then maybe I’m not the one who’s broken.” — Maximus

Episode 4 of Fallout Season 2, “The Demon in the Snow,” feels like the moment the season properly hits its stride: nasty, funny, and chaotic, but with just enough focus that it never collapses into pure noise. The hour leans into monster-movie horror and drug-fueled mayhem while still pushing the major storylines forward in ways that feel purposeful rather than like random side quests. It is very much a mid-season “everything is escalating at once” chapter, and for the most part, that energy works in its favor.

The episode is built around escalation on multiple fronts. On the surface level, that means finally unleashing a full-on deathclaw, escalating Brotherhood tension into outright war, and sending Lucy stumbling into New Vegas with a chemically assisted death wish. Underneath the spectacle, though, the script keeps circling one idea: the ways addiction, ideology, and systems twist people into thinking their worst decisions are actually noble. That combination of pulpy set pieces wrapped around a fairly sharp thematic throughline is where the episode finds its groove, even if not every beat lands cleanly.

The Cooper flashbacks give the title “The Demon in the Snow” its most literal read. He’s stuck in a remote war zone long before the bombs fall, only to come face to face with a deathclaw framed as this almost mythic horror cutting through soldiers like they barely exist. The sequence works both as a tense creature-feature moment and as a reminder that the apocalypse wasn’t born just from nukes; it was also born from the weapons and bioweapons people created and then failed to control. There’s something quietly grim in the way Cooper realizes that whatever “victory” his side claims out here has less to do with human heroism and more to do with the nightmare they’ve unleashed.

That past horror reverberates nicely against Lucy’s present-day story. She wakes up in an NCR camp wired to Buffout after being dosed for days, which means she’s basically sidelined into instant addiction. The show has a dark sense of humor about it: Lucy’s twitchy, hyper-focused, and suddenly way too ready to bulldoze through anything that isn’t directly tied to rescuing her father. She frames staying on the drug as a moral choice—if it helps her get to Hank faster, then it must be “right”—and that rationalization is exactly the sort of self-delusion the episode keeps poking at. The Ghoul plays the exasperated straight man here, watching her slide further into this chemically boosted version of herself that’s both capable and deeply compromised.

Their approach to New Vegas walks a satisfying line between fresh ground and game nostalgia. The city’s automated defenses are already wrecked by the time they roll up, which kills any chance of a slow-burn infiltration and immediately tells you something very bad has been here recently. The reimagined Kings—now a feral ghoul faction that riffs on the Elvis-obsessed gang from Fallout: New Vegas—become cannon fodder once Lucy lets the Buffout and her revenge drive take the wheel. The fight that follows is gory, brisk, and noticeably sharper in choreography than some of the earlier action this season. At the same time, the show never totally lets the audience forget how disturbing Lucy’s enthusiasm for the violence actually is; even The Ghoul looks a bit rattled by just how far she’s willing to go now.

The Vegas section eventually funnels into the Lucky 38, where the horror angle fully takes over. The once-bustling casino sits eerily vacant, patrolled only by the corpses of destroyed securitrons and an ominous egg that Lucy discovers a little too late. When the deathclaw finally emerges, it’s staged as a true “oh, we’re in over our heads” moment rather than just a giant CGI flex. The earlier wartime flashback helps here; by the time the creature steps into the light in the present, it already has weight in the story as something more than just a boss fight. Pairing Lucy’s adrenaline and bravado with a threat that genuinely terrifies her is a smart way to cap the episode’s Vegas thread.

Over with the Brotherhood, the show continues leaning into its mix of satire and tragedy. Maximus, scrambling to cover up the fact that he killed his superior, shoves Thaddeus into the dead man’s armor, which leads to some very deliberate physical comedy as Thaddeus fumbles around in a suit he barely understands. Around that goofiness, though, the tension over the cold fusion relic boils over. Leadership squabbles turn ugly, and different Brotherhood factions reveal how thin the veneer of honor and order really is once power is on the line. Dane quietly emerges as one of the more competent and grounded figures, slipping recruits out of harm’s way and securing the relic while the so-called authorities are busy imploding.

The strongest Brotherhood moment belongs to Max’s confrontation with High Cleric Quintus. Max comes clean about killing the Paladin and gets a surprisingly measured response—until he explains that he did it to protect ghouls. The conversation flips on a dime into pure zealotry, with Quintus dropping any pretense of nuance and revealing just how deep the organization’s dehumanizing worldview runs. It’s a blunt scene, but it makes the point: the Brotherhood can talk about discipline and order all it wants, yet underneath that rhetoric sits a fanatical hatred that ultimately guides its choices. When the ships start falling and the Brotherhood’s fortress turns into a battlefield, the chaos feels like the natural endpoint of that ideology colliding with reality.

While all of this plays out topside, the Vault storyline quietly remains the show’s creepiest thread. Vault 33 is dealing with a growing water crisis, yet somehow there are still little pockets of privilege and favoritism intact, which underlines how these supposedly “ordered” societies still manage to ration compassion as much as supplies. Overseer Betty’s attempt to negotiate for help with Vault 32 turns anything resembling cooperation into a transaction; every promise of aid seems to come with a hidden clause involving Hank or Vault 31. At the same time, the group from Vault 31 stumbling into the outside world and discovering things like old food trucks brings a streak of bleak comedy. They’re technically in charge, but their naïveté makes them feel just as fragile as anyone else.

Hints of a looming “phase two” for the Vault experiments keep that story humming in the background, suggesting that the worst outcomes for Vault 32 and 33 haven’t even surfaced yet. The vault sections may be quieter compared to the deathclaw and Brotherhood fireworks, but they deepen the sense that the real villain of the series is still the architecture of Vault-Tec’s grand experiment, not just any one person caught inside it.

If there’s a major knock against the episode, it’s that it occasionally feels like it’s doing too much at once. Between Cooper’s war memories, Lucy’s spiral in Vegas, Brotherhood infighting, and the various vault machinations, the hour sometimes jumps away from a scene right as it’s hitting an emotional high point. Lucy’s addiction arc, in particular, moves so quickly that it risks feeling like a setup beat rather than something fully explored in the moment. On the other hand, that density also gives the world a lived-in, interconnected feel—plotlines bump into each other, collide, and ricochet, instead of sitting on separate tracks waiting for their turn.

Taken as a whole, “The Demon in the Snow” stands out as one of the more compelling entries in Season 2 so far. It delivers on fan expectations with the live-action deathclaw and New Vegas callbacks, but it doesn’t stop at simple spectacle. Lucy’s compromised heroism, Max’s struggle to reconcile his conscience with his faction, Cooper’s haunted past, and the vault dwellers’ slow realization that their home is a gilded cage all circle the same idea: people will justify almost anything—violence, bigotry, self-destruction—if it feels like it serves a higher cause or keeps them from admitting they’re afraid. The episode is rough-edged and occasionally overloaded, but that messiness fits the world it’s dealing with, and it sets the board for the back half of the season in a way that feels genuinely promising.

Here Are The 2025 Actor Nominations!


The SAG Awards are now known as the Actor Awards for some reason.  I think that’s kind of dumb but whatever.  The important thing that the 2025 Actor nominations were announced this morning.  My main take away?  The Best Picture hopes of both Jay Kelly and Wicked: For Good are dead. If they couldn’t score an ensemble nod with this crowd, they’re not going to make it to the top ten.  (Wicked: For Good, at least, seems destined to get a nomination for Ariana Grande and some technical nods.  Jay Kelly seems destined to go for zero.)

Here are the Actor Nominations:

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A CAST IN A MOTION PICTURE
Frankenstein
Hamnet
Marty Supreme
One Battle After Another
Sinners

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jessie Buckley – Hamnet
Rose Byrne – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
Kate Hudson – Song Sung Blue
Chase Infiniti – One Battle After Another
Emma Stone – Bugonia

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Timothée Chalamet – Marty Supreme
Leonardo DiCaprio – One Battle After Another
Ethan Hawke – Blue Moon
Michael B. Jordan – Sinners
Jesse Plemons – Bugonia

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Miles Caton – Sinners
Benicio del Toro – One Battle After Another
Jacob Elordi – Frankenstein
Paul Mescal – Hamnet
Sean Penn – One Battle After Another

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Odessa A’zion – Marty Supreme
Ariana Grande – Wicked: For Good
Amy Madigan – Weapons
Wunmi Mosaku – Sinners
Teyana Taylor – One Battle After Another

OUTSTANDING STUNT ENSEMBLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
F1
Frankenstein
Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning
One Battle After Another
Sinners

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.9 “Cop In A Box”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Okay, we’re doing this again.

Episode 3.9 “Cop In A Box”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on November 2nd, 1997)

Oh, Pacific Blue.  How I have not missed you.

This episode features TC getting abducted by Harland Groves (Jeremy Roberts), a criminal who TC previously busted.  Harland traps TC in an underground beach bunker.  How Harland got his hands on an underground beach bunker is never explained.  Harland demands that TC’s rich family pay him 4 million dollars.  At the same time, he plans to use a chlorine gas bomb to kill TC.  Why he didn’t kill TC to begin with and then demand the money is never really explained.  It’s almost as if Harland secretly wanted his plan to fail.

I really didn’t have a problem with the idea of TC getting killed off.  Pacific Blue is one of the more boring of the shows that I review and killing TC would have livened things up.  At the very least, without TC around, I would no longer be forced to try to keep straight which member of Pacific Blue was TC and which member was Victor.  Unfortunately, TC manages to disarm the chlorine bomb.  When Harland attacks him in the bunker, it leads to a bunch of sand pouring in.  Harland is suffocated while TC escapes.

Oh well.

The cool thing about this episode is that Andy Buckley — who later played David Wallace on The Office — returned as TC’s brother.  The funny thing about this episode was the sight of grim-faced Palermo barking out orders while wearing his stupid bicycle shorts.  And the unfortunate thing is that TC survived so Pacific Blue will not be changing any time soon.

I Watched Perry Mason: The Case Of The Murdered Madam (1987, Dir. by Ron Satlof)


Former madam Suzanne Domenico (Ann Jillian) attempts to blackmail four rich men who are planning on embezzling money from a bank and is found dead by her husband, Tony, shortly afterwards.  Tony (Vincent Baggetta) is arrested and charged with murdering his wife.  Tony’s older brother used to run around with Della Street (Barbara Hale) and Della is able to get Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) to defend him in court.  Paul Drake, Jr. (William Katt) is brought in to do the investigative legwork.  Once again, Paul falls for a younger woman (Daphne Ashbrook) who will probably never be mentioned again in any of the other movies.

This movie was a little sad because it was obvious that Raymond Burr was not in good health.  He spends most of the movie sitting or moving with crutches.  In the movie, they say that Perry is using crutches because of a skiing accident but looking at Raymond Burr, there’s no way to imagine him skiing.  Burr is still as sharp as ever when asking questions in the courtroom but it’s still clear that he was in pain when he did this movie.  Perry being sidelined does mean that Barbara Hale and William Katt get to do more than usual.  After spending the last few movies constantly getting outrun and smacked around, Katt finally gets to beat someone up in the movie.

The mystery isn’t bad, even though I guessed who the murderer was long before the trial started.  The entire embezzlement scheme comes down to embezzling a few cents a day so that no one will notice.  That’s the same thing they tried to do in Office Space!  Luckily, no one got murdered that time.

Overall, this was a good entry in the Parry Mason movies, especially for those of us who like watching Paul Drake, Jr.  I’m starting to wonder if all of Perry and Della’s friends are going to end up getting accused of murder at some point.  My aunt and I always used to joke about how often Jessica Fletcher’s nephew was accused of murdering someone.  It might be just as dangerous to be a friend of Perry Mason’s!

Jury Duty (1990, directed by Michael Schultz)


Meek-looking accountant Sanford Lagelfost (Bronson Pinchot) is on trial for embezzlement.  It’s supposed to be a simple, up-and-shut case but when the beautiful star witness (Tracy Scoggins) testifies that Sanford is an amazing lover, it becomes a tabloid sensation and the jurors are sequestered in a hotel, where they have to deal with their own restlessness and several distractions, the majority of whom are also played by Bronson Pinchot.  Pinchot plays a total of four characters but it’s not like he’s Peter Sellers or even Eddie Murphy.  He looks and sounds like Bronson Pinchot in every role.

The jurors are played by a bunch of a familiar television actors.  Alan Thicke plays a yuppie named Phil and Lynn Redgrave plays a hippie named Abby and they end up getting married.  Stephen Baldwin is the waiter who falls for Heather Locklear, an actress who is a former call girl who is being threatened by her pimp.  Madchen Amick is the spoiled rich girl.  Television mainstays Mark Blankfield, Ilene Graf, William G. Schilling, Danny Pintauro, and Bill Kirchenbauer are all present and accounted for.  Adding to the overall sitcom feel of the movie is the presence of Reginald VelJohnson as the judge.  No one in the cast tries very hard, though I do think a case can be made that Madchen Amick was the most beautiful woman on television in 1990.

With the film failing to achieve either a consistent tone or a single laugh, the best thing that I can say about Jury Duty is that it didn’t feature Pauly Shore.  Instead it featured Alan Thicke driving a BMW with a license plate that read, “BMW4Phil.”  It’s hard to believe that this film was directed by Michael Schultz, who was responsible for movies like Car Wash, Cooley High, and Greased Lightning in the 70s and Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon in the 80s.

I wish I had watched The Last Dragon instead.