The 1975 drive-in film, Trucker’s Woman, opens with the tragic (and rather horrifying) death of Jim Kelly, a trucker who meets his demise when the breaks on his truck fail. We watch as Jim is tossed back and forth inside the cab of his truck and, in fact, the film’s opening credits play out over freeze frames of Jim’s gruesome end. Jim was a beloved member of the trucking community and his funeral is about as well-attended as a funeral taking place in a low-budget film can be. Everyone is going to be miss Jim but fortunately, his son Mike (Michael Hawkins) is going to carry on the family business!
As Mike explains to his father’s permanently soused friend, Ben Turner (Doodles Weaver), he’s giving up a lot to take over for his father. Mike is dropping out of college and sacrificing his dream of becoming a philosophy professor. Of course, Mike appears to be nearly 50 so, if he still hasn’t gotten that degree, it’s probably for the best that he went ahead of gave up on that dream. From what little we saw of Jim, he appeared to be 50 as well so you have to kind of wonder if Mike is actually his son. My theory is that Mike was just a drifter who happened to see a funeral occurring off the side of the road and decided to cash in.
Anyway, Mike is soon driving a truck and discovering that his boss, Fontaine (Jack Canon), is a bit of a jerk who favors certain truckers more than others. Mike also meets Fontaine’s daughter, Karen (Mary Cannon), at a roadside bar and ends up following her back to her motel, pounding on her door until she gets out of the shower and answers it while wearing a towel, and then announcing that he’s going to be accepting her offer to spend the night with her….
So, you can probably already guess what the main problem with this film is. At best, Mike is a jerk. At worst, he’s an alcoholic misogynist who breaks into a woman’s motel room, demands sex, and is then offended when she leaves the next morning without telling him where she’s going. The film tries to portray Mike as being a strong, independent man who works hard and refuses to be ordered around. However, he comes across less like Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit or Kris Kristofferson in Convoyand more like one of those truckers who eventually gets caught with a dead body in the back of his cab. Everything about Mike just screams homicidal drifter. Not even the title character from Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killerwould have accepted a ride from this guy.
Anyway, Mike and Ben attempt to discover who sabotaged the brakes on old Jim Kelly’s rig and since only a mechanic could have done it, suspicion immediately falls on Diesel Joe (Larry Drake) because he’s the only mechanic in the film! And who paid Diesel Joe to sabotage the brakes? Well, there’s only person in the film who has any money so it looks like it’s time for Ben to rally the other truckers and Mike to toss a bunch of people into Fontaine’s pool.
Trucker’s Woman does not work as a thriller or a mystery or a comedy. It does work as a time capsule of the 70s. Seriously, look at all of those wood-paneled rooms! Look at all of those plaid jackets! Seriously, there’s enough plaid in this film it could have just as easily been called Forever Plaid. Filmed on the highways of South Carolina, Trucker’s Woman is a film the epitomizes an era but there’s plenty of other films that do the exact same thing and don’t feature an alcoholic misogynist as the lead character. (Seriously, Rubber Duck would have tossed Mike Kelly out of a moving truck.)
Finally, Trucker’s Woman is infamous in some circles for featuring a random shot of a pepperoni pizza sitting on a wooden deck. It’s a shot that pops up out of nowhere and has nothing to do with the rest of the film. It’s thought that the shot was included as an experiment in subliminal advertising and I will admit that my sister and I did order a pizza after this film ended.
First released in 1977, Double Nickels tells the story of two California highway patrolman. Smokey (Jack Vacek) and Ed (Ed Abrams) have been tasked with enforcing the speed limit but they’re usually too busy chasing each other up and down the highway to worry about doing their job and, in fact, they even have a friendly relationship with the local street racers.
Now, you may think Smokey and Ed are just wasting the tax payer’s money by taking such a casual attitude towards their work and technically, you’re right. But let’s be honest. Nobody likes the speed limit. There’s a reason why it’s usually the rural speed limit signs that end up getting used for target practice. Smokey and Ed are a part of the system for the paycheck but, deep down, they hate the system just as much as the rest of us do. They’re fighting the Man by taking his money and refusing to enforce his rules.
Anyway, one day, Smokey and Ed pull over George (George Cole). George explains that he’s got a pretty good thing going as a repo man. He and his associates drive up and down the California highways, repossessing cars for non-payment. George says that he could always use some help and Smokey and Ed decided to take him up on the offer. The only problem is that, as employees of the Highway Patrol, they’re not allowed to moonlight. So, when they repossess a car, they have to do it without getting caught by either the local police or the car’s former owners.
Double Nickels establishes its pattern early on. Smokey and Ed stake out a house and see the car that they’re repossessing. They repossess the car. They end up getting chased around by either the cops or the car’s owner or both. Smokey and Ed trade a few lame quips and then flirt with their waitress girlfriends. Eventually, George realizes that the people who have hired him are actually car thieves and Smokey and Ed have to break up the car theft ring but, regardless of any individual complications, the pattern pretty much remains the same throughout the film, with mild comedic moments followed by an elaborate car chase.
As long as the film focuses on the cars, it’s fine. The cars are the true star of the film. Jack Vacek and several other members of the cast and crew were previously involved with the production of the original Gone In 60 Seconds. Double Nickels never comes anywhere close to being as entertaining as Gone In 60Seconds but the car chases are still exciting enough to hold the viewer’s attention. Where Double Nickels struggles is whenever the focus shifts to the guys driving the car, as neither Jack Vacek nor Ed Arbams were particularly charismatic actors and neither really had the comedic timing necessary to pull off the film’s humor.
Despite its flaws, Double Nickels does have something of a following. Its popularity actually makes sense. Because the film’s plot is so simple, you can literally start watching the film at any point and automatically know exactly what’s going on. The makers of Double Nickels understood that, above all else, audiences love to watch fast cars do their thing.
First released in 1984, The Toxic Avenger takes place in Tromaville, New Jersey, which is perhaps the ugliest city in …. well, honestly, it’s probably the ugliest city in the world. The streets are strewn with trash. The walls are covered in graffiti. The majority of the citizens are either bullies or idiots. The mayor is corrupt and totally willing to sell out his city to anyone willing to cut him a big enough check. Is it a surprise that Tromaville is also the “toxic waste capitol of the world?”
(“Forget it, Lisa. It’s New Jersey.” Hey, I hear you, Paulie.)
Tromaville is also the home of Melvin Ferd Junko III (Mark Torgl), who is so nerdy that even I was immediately annoyed by him. Melvin has a job working as a janitor at the local health club. Melvin doesn’t want to bother anyone but four members of the gym still decide to trick him into wearing a pink tutu and nearly having sex with a sheep. In typical Troma fashion, this leads to Melvin falling out of a second story window and into a vat of toxic waste. Melvin bursts into flames and jumps into a bathtub to douse the fire. However, when he emerges from the bathtub, he is no longer Melvin. Now, he is a grotesque and muscular mutant (and he’s now played by Mitch Cohen).
It’s time to get some justice!
Of course, since this is a Troma film, Melvin’s idea of justice may not be everyone’s idea of justice. Yes, Melvin does stop a lot of muggings and he does break up a drug ring. Of course, he does that by killing those criminals and allowing their guts to graphically splatter all over the street. (Cheap as this film is, it’s obvious that some care was put into creating the gore.) However, Melvin also stalks the bullies who were responsible for transforming him into the Toxic Avenger and he murders them with a sadism that is equal to their own. And again, it’s not like the bullies don’t deserve to suffer. I mean, one of the bullies is actually named Slug and he lives up to the name! (That said, you’re kind of dooming your child to a certain fate when you give him a name like Slug.) But still, it’s hard not to notice that The Toxic Avenger is a super hero who is as destructive as the villains he’s taking down. It’s a good thing that Tromaville seems to be exclusively populated by scumbags.
Actually, there are two good people in Tromaville. One is Marisa Tomei, who appears for a split second in one of her earliest roles. I simply can’t imagine that Marisa Tomei would have supported bullying Melvin. The other good person is Sara (Andree Maranda), who is blind. After the Toxic Avenger saves her from a rapist, she falls in love with him. Eventually, Sara even touches his deformed face and declares him to be beautiful. The city may be worshipping their new hero and the corrupt mayor (played by Pat Ryan Jr.) may be desperately trying to take the Avenger down but ultimately, The Toxic Avenger just wants to escape the city and be with Sara. Indeed, the saving grace of The Toxic Avenger is that Sara and the former Melvin really are a sweet couple and you really do hope things work out for them.
The Toxic Avenger, with its mix of comedy, horror, and gore, was one Troma’s first big hits and it remains one of their most popular films. (Macon Blair has directed a remake, which should be opening soon.) Personally, for me, the film is a bit too repetitive and the humor is pretty much hit-and-miss. There’s a lot of scenes, especially in the health club, that were obviously only included to pad out the film’s running time and, as such, the film takes a while to really get going. It may better than the average Troma film but that’s not exactly a hard bar to clear. That said, I did like the relationship between Sara and The Toxic Avenger. For all the crudeness and gore, the movie works best when its sentimental.
Today, in honor of Labor Day, I am very proud to present a very special edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers! I have selected six trailers for six films about six very specific jobs. Your next career might be found below!
The Principal (1987)
Do you want to make a difference in the lives of your students? Why not follow the path of Rick Lattimore and become …. The Principal!?
2. The Gardener (1972)
Do you like working with plants? Do you have a green thumb? A career in gardening might be for you!
3. The Soldier (1982)
Do you love your country? Do you want to protect your nation from enemies, both domestic and international? The Soldier knows how you feel!
4. The Exterminator (1980)
Do you want to protect your community and help clean up the neighborhood? Consider pursuing a career as an urban vigilante, just like The Exterminator!
5. Moonrunners (1975)
Are you a good driver? Do you feel that the government needs to stay out of people’s personal decisions? Moonshine runner might be a career for you!
6. American Ninja (1985)
Do you have a truly unique set of skills? Were you born in the United States? Consider a career as an American Ninja!
The 1992 film, Project Shadowchaser, takes place in the near future. It’s a time when cyborgs are a common sight and criminals are frozen and sent to a cryogenic prison. At the same time, it’s close enough to the present that the FBI is still America’s main law enforcement agency and the President is still a powerful enough figure that terrorists would want to abduct his daughter. It’s also close enough to the present that terrorists are still learning how to do their job from watching Die Hard.
Romulus (Frank Zagarino) is a cyborg who takes a hospital hostage, all to track down the president’s daughter, Sarah (Meg Foster). The FBI feels that only the hospital’s architect, Mr. Dixon, can figure out the best way for the FBI’s strike force to enter the hospital. Unfortunately, Mr. Dixon broke the law and has been put on deep freeze. When the stoner who runs the cryogenic prison is told to thaw out Mr. Dixon, he screws up and accidentally unfreezes DeSilva (Martin Kove), a former football quarterback.
Knowing a good thing when he sees it, DeSilva pretends to be Dixon but, once he and the strike force enter the building, it become apparent that DeSilva/Dixon has no idea what he’s talking about. All of the members of the strike force are killed when an elevator explodes. Only DeSilva survives and now, whether he wants to or not, he’s going to have to battle the terrorists and save the President’s daughter! It’s a good thing that she’s a football fan.
What a dumb movie this turned out to be! Seriously, you can add all of the sci-fi elements to your Die Hard rip-off that you want to, a Die Hard rip-off is still a Die Hard rip-off and it’s hard to think of any other film (with the possible exception of No Contest) that so slavishly follows the Die Hard formula. There’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in Project Shadowchaser. The minute that Kinderman (Joss Ackland) shows up and declares that he’s taking over the operation from FBI agent Trevanian (Paul Koslo), it’s obvious that he’s going to turn out to be the one behind Romulus’s actions. And from the minute that DeSilva meets Sarah, it’s obvious that they’re destined to fall in love.
I like Martin Kove on Cobra Kai and Kove brings a similar self-awareness to his role as DeSilva. At times, Kove appears to almost be winking at the audience, as if he’s saying, “Hey, I can’t believe I’m in this movie either. What are you going to do?” Unfortunately, Kove often seems to be the only person in the film who is really in on the joke. Needless to say, Project Shadowchaser is no Cobra Kai.
That said, I did appreciate the fact that the film’s entire plot hinged on a government employee accidentally unfreezing the wrong guy. As a portrait of bureaucratic incompetence, Project Shadowchaser works perfectly. I mean, let’s be honest. If there ever was a cryogenic prison, the wrong people would probably be getting unfrozen all the time. No one’s going to keep track of who is in which pod.
After some men go missing in the jungles of an isolated island, a group of mercenaries is assigned to search the jungle, battle the guerillas who control the island, and rescue the missing. Accompanying the mercenaries is a shifty CIA agent who seems to know more than he’s letting on. What the mercenaries soon discover is that the guerillas aren’t the only threat that they have to worry about. There’s a shadowy figure stalking them. Equipped with state-of-the-art weaponry and encased in impenetrable armor, this figure is following them like some sort of preda–
Wait. Does this sound familiar?
The 1988 film, Robowar, is an unapologetic rip-off of the Predator. Directed by Bruno Mattei and written by Troll 2 director Claudio Fragasso (who also plays this film’s version of the Predator), Robowar is such a rip-off of the Predator that it even ends with an end credits sequence in which we see clips of each actor stalking through the jungle. Reb Brown plays Murphy Black, the head of the mercenaries, and he spends a lot of his time shrilly shouting at them to “Move! Move! Move!” Catherine Hickland plays the head of a local orphanage. She introduces herself as “Virginia” and is called “Virginia” throughout the film but the end credits insist that her character was actually named “Virgin.” The other mercenaries are played by a combination of American and Italian stuntmen and some of them vaguely resemble their better-known counterparts from Predator. Max Laurel, who plays the group’s fearless tracker, looks like he could have been distantly related to Sonny Landham. Massimo Vanni and Romano Puppo play two mercenaries who have a relationship that’s similar to the friendship between Jesse Ventura and Bill Duke. Of course, in anyone really makes an impression, it’s Mel Davidson as the group’s government handler and who spends the whole movie smiling while delivering lines about how the entire group is doomed, himself included. It’s such an odd performance that it becomes rather fascinating.
What type of film is Robowar? It hits all of the same plot points as Predator but it does it with a much lower budget. Indeed, the film’s opening sequence appears to be made up of footage lifted from Mattei’s earlier film, Strike Commando. Whenever we see the action through the killer robot’s eyes, Mattei gives the action an extreme orange tint that makes it impossible to actually tell what’s going on. Reb Brown spends a lot of time yelling but the same thing could be said for the entire cast. This is one of those films where no one fires a machine gun without screaming while doing so. And yet, because it’s a Mattei film, it’s always watchable. Bruno Mattei (who born 92 years ago today in Rome) may have specialized in ripping-off other, most successful films but he was so shameless and unapologetic about it that it’s impossible to judge him too harshly. As always, Mattei keeps the action moving quickly and doesn’t worry to much about things like continuity. Mattei’s films were rarely good but they were almost always fun when taken on their own silly terms.
At times, Robowar almost feels like a parody of an American action film, with Fragasso’s script featuring dialogue that is so extremely aggressive and testosterone-fueled that even Shane Black probably would have told him to tone it down a notch. Much as with Troll 2, the film provides an interesting view into how Fragasso imagined Americans to be. Early on, we are informed that the mercenary group is known as BAM, which stands for “Big Ass Motherfuckers.” Later, one of the members of BAM insults two others by saying, “I bet they have the AIDS.” It’s as if someone programmed a computer to write an action movie and, as such, Robowar might turn out to be a surprisingly prophetic film.
Despite featuring a few Americans in the cast, Robowar was not available in the U.S. until it was released on Blu-ray by Severin Films in 2019. Though Bruno Mattei passed away in 2007, his work continues to be discovered by new audiences.
Four years after the end of the first Exterminator, the man they drove too far is driven too far again….
As you may remember, the first Exterminatorended with the CIA shooting vigilante John Eastland (Robert Ginty) because Eastland’s anti-crime activities were somehow making the President look bad. The wounded Eastland fell into the Hudson River. “Washington will be pleased,” the CIA agent said to the gunman. However, the film’s final shot revealed that Eastland had survived his plunge.
1984’s Exterminator 2 opens with Eastland returning to New York City. He’s got a small apartment and a police scanner and when he hears a report that an elderly couple is being menaced by a group of thugs, he puts on a welding mask and uses his flame thrower to set the criminals on fire. Of course, he doesn’t actually arrive in time to save the old couple from getting shot and killed. Just because Eastland has decided to become a vigilante, that doesn’t mean that he’s particularly good at it.
The first Exterminator was a grim and gritty thriller that took itself very seriously. In fact, one could argue that it took itself a bit too seriously. Exterminator 2, which was produced by Cannon Films, takes a slightly different approach. This is obvious as soon as Mario Van Peebles shows up as X, a cult leader who is looking to take over the New York drug trade. Van Peebles, with his model good looks and his quick smile, is not exactly the most intimidating of villains. And X is not exactly the most brilliant of bad guys. For one thing, he drives a car with a big red X spray painted on one of the doors, which doesn’t seem to be the smartest thing to do when you have both the police and crazed vigilante hunting for you.
Fortunately, for X, John Eastland is easily distracted. After he sets a few people on fire, he seems to lose interest in actually being a vigilante and instead, a large portion of the film is taken up with him getting a job collecting garbage with his friend, Be Gee (Frankie Fasion). (Much like the previous film’s Michael Jefferson, Be Gree served with Eastland in Nam.) Eastland also meets and falls in love with a dancer named Caroline (Deborah Geffner). Unfortunately, a trip to Central Park leads to Caroline getting attacked by a bunch of X’s followers. With Caroline in a wheelchair, Eastland has little choice but to pick up his flame thrower and transform his garbage truck into a tank of destruction….
Exterminator 2‘s production was a troubled one. Director Mark Buntzman was one of the producers of the first Exterminator and apparently, Cannon disliked his first cut of Exterminator 2. Director William Sachs (who was Cannon’s resident “film doctor”) was brought in to do extensive reshoots in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, by the time Sachs was brought in, Robert Ginty had already moved on to another project and Sachs was forced to use his stunt double for any scenes involving Eastland. (This is one reason why Eastland spends much of the film wearing a welder’s mask.) Also because of Ginty’s absence, Sachs ended up adding a lot of scenes that focused on Van Peebles’s performance as X, with the end result being that the film often seems to be more about X and his gang than it is about Eastland and his hunt for revenge. (Unfortunately, this also led to a lot of unresolved subplots, including one in which X orders one of his roller skating henchman to kidnap a woman off the street so she can be used to test a new batch of heroin.) Many of the scenes featuring Ginty have a totally different feel to them from the scenes featuring Van Peebles and Ginty’s stunt double.
The end result is a film that really doesn’t have any sort of narrative momentum. One is never really sure what either X or Eastland is hoping to accomplish. Instead, they just kind of wander around until they have their final confrontation. Along the way, there’s a few poorly edited fights but there’s also a lot of scenes that are just included to serve as filler. As I already mentioned, Van Peebles is not a particularly menacing villain but Ginty also isn’t a particularly compelling hero. Ginty’s goofy screen presence was nicely subverted by the grime and grit of the first Exterminator but, in the second film, he just comes across as being petulant and even a bit whiny.
The first Exterminator famously ended with the lines, “Washington will be pleased.” I don’t think anyone would particularly be pleased with Exterminator 2. As a final note, I will admit that I was so bored with this film that, when I watched it, I barely noticed when it ended and Tubi segued into showing a film called Executioner 2. That pretty much sums up the entire Exterminator 2 experience.
First released in 1980, The Exterminator begins during the Vietnam War.
Two soldiers, John Eastland (Robert Ginty) and Michael Jefferson (future Cannon Film mainstay Steve James) have been captured by the Viet Cong and can only watch as a third soldier is beheaded by his captors. (The graphic beheading, in which the camera lingers on the head slowly sliding off the neck, is an early warning of what this film has in store for its audience.) Jefferson manages to free himself from his bonds and kills most of the enemy soldiers. After Jefferson frees him, Eastland fires a bullet into the still twitching body of the VC commander.
The film jumps forward to 1980. Living in New York City, Jefferson and Eastland are still best friends and co-workers at a warehouse. For a second time, Jefferson saves Eastland’s life when the latter is attacked by a gang calling themselves the Ghetto Ghouls. When the Ghouls get their revenge by tracking down Jefferson and piecing his spine with a meat hook, Eastland gets his revenge by killing …. well, just about everyone that he meets.
Though The Exterminator was obviously inspired by Death Wish, a big difference between the two films is that Eastland doesn’t waste any time before starting his anti-crime crusade. In the original Death Wish, Paul Kersey (played by Charles Bronson) starts out as a self-described “bleeding heart” liberal who was a conscientious objector during the Korean War. Even after his wife and daughter are attacked (and his wife killed) by Jeff Goldblum, Kersey doesn’t immediately pick up a gun and start shooting muggers. Indeed, it’s not until the film is nearly halfway over that Kersey begins his mission and, in one of the film’s more memorable moments, he reacts to his first act of violence by throwing up afterwards. While one could hardly call Death Wish an especially nuanced film, it does at least try to suggest that Kersey’s transformation into a vigiliante was a gradual process.
The Exterminator, on the other hand, goes straight from Eastland informing Jefferson’s wife about the attack to Eastland threatening a tied-up Ghetto Ghoul with a flame thrower. When did Eastland kidnap the Ghetto Ghoul? Why does Eastland have a flame thrower? Where exactly has Eastland tied up the Ghetto Ghoul? None of this is explained and the film’s abruptness gives it an almost dream-like feel. The film plays out like the fantasy of everyone who has ever been mugged or otherwise harassed. Magically, Eastland suddenly has the skills and the resources to outsmart not just the criminals but also the police who have been assigned to stop him. Even the CIA is assigned to take down Eastland because his anti-crime crusade is inspiring people to wonder why the President hasn’t been able to reduce crime. The film plays out like the type of daydreams that Travis Bickle had when he wasn’t driving his taxi.
Eastland is ruthless in his kills but fortunately, everyone he kills is really, really bad. The Ghetto Ghouls clubhouse is decorated with a poster of Che Guevara but Che’s revolutionary rhetoric isn’t worth much when the Exterminator’s after you. A mob boss makes the mistake of not telling Eastland about the Doberman that’s guarding his mansion so into the meat grinder he goes. New Jersey loses a state senator when Eastland discovers him torturing an underage male prostitute. The film was shot on location in New York City and the camera lingers over every grimy corner of the city. A scene where Eastland walks through Times Square takes on a cinéma-vérité feel as people jump out at him and try to entice him to take part in everything the city has to offer. If Death Wish suggested that Paul Kersey’s actions were saving New York, The Exterminator suggests that we should just let John Eastland burn the whole place down.
With his youthful face, Robert Ginty looks more like a mild-mannered seminarian than a hardened veteran of both Vietnam and the mean streets of New York but, ultimately, that works to the film’s advantage. If anything, it explains why everyone who meets him trends to underestimate what he’s capable of doing. B-movie vet Christopher George overacts in his usual amusing way as he plays the detective who has been assigned to catch The Exterminator. Samantha Eggar plays a doctor who starts dating George for no discernible reason. The scenes featuring George and Eggar often seems as if they belong in a different film but they do provide some relief from the rather grim and gruesome scenes of The Exterminator killing almost everyone who he meets.
The Exterminator was controversial when it was originally released and it still retains the power to shock. It’s easy to laugh at some of the film’s more melodramatic moments but there were still more than a few scenes that I watched with my hands over my eyes. The film’s hard edge grabs your attention from the start and the idea of the CIA sending assassins to take out a neighborhood vigilante is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s kind of hard not to appreciate it. That the film totally buys into its paranoid worldview (“Washington will be pleased.”) makes the whole thing far more compelling than it should be.
As ludicrous as it all is, The Exterminator is a film that defies you to look away.
2021’s Amityville Cop does not take place in Amityville.
Actually, as far as I can remember, we never learn the name of the city where this movie is supposed to be taking place. But it definitely is a city and it’s not on Long Island so we can safely assume that it’s not Amityville. It’s not even New York City, which would have at least made the film somewhat Amityville-adjacent.
Amityville Cop also does not feature the infamous house. Nor does it feature a recreation of the DeFeo murders or any conversations about the Lutz hauntings or any of the other nonsense that we typically expect from an Amityville film.
In fact, there’s really no reason for this film to be called Amityville Cop, beyond the fact that Amityville is a recognized brand.
Instead, this is yet another remake of Maniac Cop. This time, the cop in question was a rookie who was either sacrificed by a Satanic cult or who voluntarily chose to be possessed by a demon. It’s a bit hard to follow exactly what happened, to be honest. The head of the cult is played by Laurene Landon, who also appeared in two of Maniac Cop films. Her role is brief but she’s around long enough to ensure that Officer Wilson (Lovie Johnson) will come back to life as a demon who wanders around in the city in his policeman’s uniform and who kills people for the least little infraction. (“No loitering,” he says, before killing one unfortunate homeless man.)
Meanwhile, the non-possessed cops are pretty much useless. Benson (Jason Toler) and his partner, Val (Nicole D’Angelo) are both infamous for roughing up suspects. Tom (Leonard Zhang) is socially awkward and never hangs out with the other cops while off-duty because he’s always too busy taking care of his mother. Cooper (Chris Spenelli) is boring. Lewis (Craijece Danielle) is inexperienced. Detective Clawson (Lisa London) always seems like she’s more interested in going after her fellow cops than the actual criminals. And Chief Benson (Jeffrey Moon) is more concerned with throwing a New Years Party at the station house than actually solving any crimes.
Yes, the entire police force appears to be gathered at the station, partying and dancing as the New Year approaches. It kind of makes you wonder just who exactly is on patrol in the city. Then again, it is New Years Eve. It’s not as if that’s a time of the year that’s associated with people getting drunk and disorderly. Anyway, the important thing that Officer Wilson eventually shows up for the party and soon, the killings start and Tom starts to consider which side he wants to be on.
Where to start with all this? It’s not a very good movie. You probably already guessed that. The awkward dialogue is stiffly delivered, the kills are largely uninspired, and the characters themselves are not particularly interesting. Benson, our nominal hero, literally bullies Tom to the extent that Tom is willing to sacrifice his soul to get revenge but the film never calls him out on it. No one ever says, “Gee, Benson, maybe you went too far when you made fun of his mom.” On the plus side, Officer Wilson is occasionally intimidating. There was one scene where he suddenly comes running down a hallway and, for a few seconds, the film came to life. But it’s hard not to feel that, in our cultural moment, Amityville Cop missed the chance to be something truly subversive. At a time when many people are asking whether we need the police at all, this film asks whether we actually need any more Amityville films.
Through the Shattered Lens 