Category Archives: Horrorthon

Music Video of the Day: Whisper by voyeur (2024, directed by Kahyl Cooper)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Listening to this song, I thought it sounded exactly like the type of music that I like and that I wish more bands were performing.  Then I read the comments on YouTube, full of people praising the band and video for embracing a retro aesthetic and I realized that, today, retro means anything that I thought was cool in the years before I hit 20

Never before have I felt so old.  I know it happens to everyone eventually but I still had no idea that it would be the YouTube commentariat who would plunge me to straight into a midlife crisis.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.17 “One Wolf’s Family”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Jerry Stiller is a werewolf!

Episode 2.17 “One Wolf’s Family”

(Dir by Alex Zamm, originally aired on February 11th, 1990)

In this rather heavy-handed episode of Monsters, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara star as Victor and Greta, two immigrants who have built a successful life for themselves in America.  Victor is very proud of his heritage and his success.  He’s even more proud of the fact that he and Greta are pure-bred werewolves.  He expects his daughter, Anya (Amy Stiller), to marry a purebred werewolf.

(Ben was apparently busy when they shot this episode.)

So, how will Victor react when he discovers that Amy’s fiancé, Stanley (Robert Clohessy), is a were-hyena!?

*sigh*

Okay, I will give some credit here.  The scene where Victor meets Stanley and they all gather around the kitchen table for dinner does have some funny moments.  Stanley, being a hyena in human form, cannot stop laughing, even when he’s being insulted.  And when Jerry Stiller launches into a rant about how no daughter of his is going to hang out on the roadside and eat trash, I did laugh.  This was largely due to Jerry Stiller’s delivery of the line.  Jerry Stiller was always funny whenever he started to rant.

Otherwise, this episode was pretty disappointing.  There’s a subplot about a nosey neighbor named Agnes (Karen Shallo).  Agnes is upset to discover that her neighbors are werewolves that keep dead bodies in their refrigerator so that they’ll have something to snack on.  “It’s bad enough that they’re immigrants!” Agnes says.  And yes, I get it.  Agnes is supposed to be a small-minded suburbanite who doesn’t understand that America is a country of immigrants and all the rest.  The problem is that, regardless of how Agnes feels about immigrants, she has every right to be concerned about living next door to a werewolf who keeps a dead body in his refrigerator.  When she sees Victor eating a foot, it totally makes sense that she would be upset about it.  The show’s satire would have worked if Agnes’s sole objection to them had been that they were immigrants.  (It would have been even funnier if Agnes has absolutely no problem living next door to werewolves as long as they were born in America.)  But by making them werewolves and having Agnes be upset by the fact that they were werewolves, the show instead suggests that Agnes might have a point.

Not that it matters.  Stanley turns into a hyena and rips off Agnes’s head and brings it to Victor and Greta as a gift.  Stanley is accepted into the family while Jerry Stiller howls a the moon.

Political satire is always hit-and-miss and this episode was definitely a mess.  It’s a shame because Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara were definitely funny people.  (If you’ve ever seen the documentary Have A Good Trip, there’s a scene where Ben Stiller tells a story about accidentally taking several tabs of LSD in college and, in a panic, calling his father for help.  “I know what you’re going through,” Jerry told him, “I once smoked an entire Pall Mall cigarette.”  “My father was Jerry Stiller, not Jerry Rubin,” Ben explains.)  This is one of those episodes that I was really hoping would be good but it just didn’t work.

Horror On TV: One Step Beyond 2.1 “Delusion” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond.…

A young woman (Suzanne Pleshette) desperately needs a blood transfusion.  Fortunately, the police have managed to track down one of the only people to share her blood type, an accountant named Harold Stern (Norman Lloyd).  Harold seems like a nice, rather mild-mannered guy and he has a long history of donating blood.  However, when the police approach him, Harold refuses to donate.

“What type of crumb are you!?” the police demand.

Harold explains that, whenever he gives someone blood, he develops a psychic connection with that person.  He can see their future.  And that’s simply a burden that he can no longer shoulder….

This episode of One Step Beyond originally aired on September 15th, 1959.  Norman Lloyd, who plays Harold, got his start as a member of Orson Welles’s Mercury Theater and he also played the villain in Alfred Hitchcock’s Saboteur.  (Speaking of Hitchcock, Suzanne Pleshette played the doomed school teacher in The Birds.)  When Lloyd appeared in this episode of One Step Beyond, he was 44 years old.  He would go on to live for another 62 years, making his final film appearance at the age of 101!

Hider In The House (1989, directed by Matthew Patrick)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

After spending years in a mental hospital for murdering his abusive parents, Tom Dreyer (Gary Busey) is released and told to find somewhere else to live.  He ends up secretly living in the crawl space of the new home Julie (Mimi Rogers) and Phil Dreyer (Michael McKean).  Obsessed with Julie, he’ll do anything to be with her, including breaking up her marriage to Phil and killing anyone who comes to close to discovering him in the crawlspace, whether it’s the family dog, an exterminator, or Julie’s best friend.

Due to the distributor having financial issues, Hider In The House never got a theatrical release but it used to show up on HBO frequently in the late 80s and 90s.  I can also remember that our local video store had the film’s poster hanging on the wall near the cash register, creating the impression that Gary Busy was not only staring at Mimi Rogers but also judging whatever you decided to rent for the weekend.  Hider In The House was very popular amongst those of us who had a crush on Mimi Rogers, which was basically every guy on the planet back in the day.

It’s not a bad movie, even if it is predictable.  Both Mimi Rogers and a pre-motorcycle accident Gary Busey give good performance and it’s interesting to see Michael McKean playing a dramatic role for once.  The main problem with the movie is that it’s impossible to believe that big and hulking Busey could possibly live in someone’s attic and move around between the walls without everyone immediately noticing.  A Clydesdale would have more luck going unnoticed than Gary Busey.

Shortly after he completed filming on Hider In The House, Gary Busey was in a motorcycle accident that nearly killed him.  He fractured his skull and suffered permanent brain damage.  It’s always interesting to compare the Gary Busey of the 70s and 80s with the Gary Busey of today.  People are so used to the Busey who yells and speaks in riddles that it’s easy to forget that he was once a very good actor, even when he was appearing in something like Hider In The House.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Damien Puts A Teacher In His Place in Damien: Omen II

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1978’s Damien: Omen II is a perfectly ludicrous film that mixes soapy melodrama with apocalyptic horror.  It’s a fascinating mismash that doesn’t really work and often, the most dramatic scenes are also the ones most likely to draw a chuckle from the viewer.  That said, there are a few good moments.

For instance, I’ve always liked this scene where young Damien (Jonathan Scott-Taylor) shows up one of his teachers.  It’s a good thing that Lance Henriksen stepped in when he did!

 

“Ring Camera”, Short Film Review, (Dir. Alex Magana), Case Wright

Posted on by casewright

Happy Horrorthon, I suppose. Why am I hedging? I’m hedging because I’m reviewing an Alex Magana short. Yes, I’m watching this on purpose.

Ring camera begins with a woman in an apartment, I think the apartment is actually Alex’s residence.

At least, I hope it’s Alex’s apartment because it’s kind of a dump and I don’t think he should live in a very nice place. I’m not saying his apartment should be infested with Camel Spiders like this one:

Or 1,000 Camel Spiders that are like this breed:

This one looks feisty. I don’t want his apartment to have Camel Spiders like this one above because he makes terrible terrible art, but what about Cicadas…Cicadae? Anyway, they are pretty gross.
They don’t have teeth, but they’re annoying and terrible like his films. So, Cicadae…go forth and meet your new roomie!

Honestly Cicadae, he’ll probably cast you. How are you with terrible acting?

Back to my misery, the lady has a “Unfamiliar Face” on her ring camera. I wonder if he films these with his iPhone. The creeper approaches her apartment and starts knocking. She opens the door and it’s a delivery guy.
Ma’am, I’m not judging too hard, but that’s a large bag of food for one person. Look:

This is too much food. You should not eat your weight in food. Ma’am, the bag is half your size. Did you get fired? Is Alex making you do a 3 film deal? You can’t fill the pain Alex has created with Door Dash!
Then, she looks around and she gets killed by the evil ghost.
I know that watching this short will make you sad, but remember- maybe you’re not that good? I mean, how many good things have you actually done today? Maybe, you deserve this film more than you know? Maybe, this film will be like a Scared Straight and put you on a better path? Maybe, you just need the pain that this film provides- you weirdo! In any case, this film is for you. You know what you did!

6 Shots From 6 Films: Jess Franco Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!  (And yes, sometimes we do more than just 4 shots!)

Today, we honor the one and only Jesus “Jess” Franco!

6 Shots From 6 Jess Franco Films

The Awful Dr. Orloff (1962, dir by Jess Franco, DP: Godofredo Pacheco)

Count Dracula (1970, dir by Jess Franco, DPs: Manuel Merino and Luciano Trasatti)

Vampyros Lesbos (1970, dir by Jess Franco, DP: Manuel Merino)

A Virgin Among The Living Dead (1970, dir by Jess Franco, DP: anyone’s guess)

Female Vampire (1973, dir by Jess Franco, DP: Jess Franco)

Oasis of the Zombies (1981, dir by Jess Franco, DP: Max Monteillet)

Horror on the Lens: Bride of the Monster (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bride of The Monster (1955, dir by Ed Wood)

Since tomorrow will be the great man’s birthday, it seems appropriate that today’s horror film on the lens is Edward D. Wood’s 1955 epic, Bride of the Monster.

(Much like Plan 9 From Outer Space, around here, it is a tradition to watch Bride of the Monster in October.)

The film itself doesn’t feature a bride but it does feature a monster, a giant octopus who guards the mansion of the mysterious Dr. Vornoff (Bela Lugosi).  Vornoff and his hulking henchman Lobo (Tor Johnson) have been kidnapping men and using nuclear power to try to create a race of super soldiers.  Or something like that.  The plot has a make-it-up-as-you-go-along feel to it.  That’s actually a huge part of the film’s appeal.

Bride of the Monster is regularly described as being one of the worst films ever made but I think that’s rather unfair.   Appearing in his last speaking role, Lugosi actually gives a pretty good performance, bringing a wounded dignity to the role of Vornoff.  If judged solely against other movies directed by Ed Wood, this is actually one of the best films ever made.

(For a longer review, click here!)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.13 “Nights to Dragon One”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Mitch and Ryan play a deadly game!

Episode 2.13 “Nights to Dragon One”

(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on February 16th, 1997)

Mitch and Ryan are hired to discover what has happened to a father and his daughter.  When last seen, they were entering a mysterious building.  The father was a lifelong adventurer and he had apparently heard that the building was home to “the ultimate game.”  Along with daughter, he had to play.  Now, they’re both missing.

So, of course, Mitch and Ryan enter the building and soon find themselves in a computer-simulated dungeon, complete with traps, deadly archers, random flames, and a cackling Game Master (Vincent Schiavelli) who occasionally materializes so he can taunt Mitch and Ryan about their lack of progress in the game.

Ryan is actually excited about playing the game, explaining the she played an earlier version of it when she was in college.  All Mitch cares about is saving the man and his daughter.  Mitch doesn’t get the point of computer simulations and virtual reality and all that sort of thing.  Mitch probably thinks that email is just a fad as well.  Mitch is the guy who goes to an escape room and, instead of reading the clues, just tries to break the door down.

And yet, it’s Mitch who ends up entering and winning the final confrontation with the Game Master, even though Ryan points out that it would make more sense for her to do it because she’s actually played the game before.  Sorry, Ryan.  The Hoff is here to save the day so just stand back and be quiet, I guess.

Vincent Schiavelli is a welcome presence as the Game Mater and he at least seems to be having fun with his role.  That said, this is the worst episode of Baywatch Nights that I’ve seen so far and that includes out of the episodes from the non-supernatural first season as well.  A huge problem is that the game itself is just boring.  Mitch and Ryan have to make their way through a corridor of laser beams.  Mitch and Ryan have to avoid the arrows being shot at them by a mysterious archer.  Considering that this is a computer simulation where, in theory, anything could happen, this episode is a huge missed opportunity.  Things should have been a lot stranger than they were.

Finally, this is one of those episodes where the camera never stops moving.  As opposed to being disorientating or frightening, the constant movement just becomes annoying.  There’s only so many Dutch angles that can be used in one scene before they lose their effectiveness.

This game could have been a lot of fun but instead, it’s just kind of dull.  The Hoff wins but honestly, I feel like I could have won it as well.  The Hoff/Angie chemistry is still strong but it’s not enough to save this middling episode.