The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Toolbox Murders (dir by Dennis Donnelly)


In 1979’s The Toolbox Murders, someone is murdering the female tenants of a building in Los Angeles.  The killer, who wears a mask and a leather jacket, uses tools.  One woman is killed by a hammer to the head.  Another is skewered by a power drill.  One is stabbed with a screwdriver.  Another is shot with a nail gun.  The identity of the killer would be a total mystery if not for the fact that we’ve already seen Cameron Mitchell’s name in the cast list.

Indeed, it’s a bit pointless to cast Cameron Mitchell in any sort of whodunit-type of film.  Nine times out of ten, Mitchell being in a movie means that that Mitchell (who, in the early days of his career, originated the role of Death of a Salesman‘s Happy Loman on Broadway) is going to be revealed as the murderer.  In this case, Mitchell plays Vance Kingsley, the owner of the building.  Vance has never recovered from the death of his daughter so he’s punishing women who he considered to be sinful.

The actual toolbox murders are pretty much finished after the first twenty minutes of the film.  The rest of the movie deals with Laurie (Pamelyn Ferdin), a 15 year-old girl who is kidnapped by Vance and his nephew, Kent (Wesley Eure).  Joey (Nicholas Beauvy), who is Laurie’s brother, attempts to find and then rescue his sister and turns out to very much not up to the task.  The film itself ends on a rather sick note, one that is followed by a title card that informs us that the film is based on a true story.  Yeah, sure, it was.

The Toolbox Murders has somehow earned a reputation for being a gory and shocking grindhouse film.  It was among the films that was banned in the UK for several years.  It’s actually not that gory and the use of tools to commit the murders is not quite as clever as the film seems to think it is.  Even the nail gun murder (which is the film’s best known moment) feels rather awkward as the victim (Kelly Nichols) never really makes a run for it despite the fact that Vance has to stop to reload after every nail that he fires.

The scenes with Laurie being held hostage are far more disturbing and weird, largely due to Mitchell’s characteristically over-the-top portrayal of Vance’s psychosis.  When you watch a movie called The Toolbox Murders, you’re probably not expecting a lengthy scene where Laurie — pretending to be Vance’s dead daughter — tells a long story about what it’s like in the afterlife.  In the role of Vance’s nephew, Wesley Eure is even more disturbing than Mitchell.  As opposed to the sinister-looking Mitchell, Eure actually has the look of a nice, young community college student and that makes his actions at the end of the film all the more icky to watch.

The Toolbox Murders doesn’t quite live up to its bloody reputation but it’s still a disturbing film nonetheless.  Did you know that Heaven smells like lollipops?  After this film, you’ll never forget.

Doctor Who — The War Games (1969, directed by David Maloney)


The War Games is an episode of firsts and lasts.

It featured the last regular appearance by Patrick Troughton as the Second Doctor.  (Troughton would return for three guest appearances.)  Having played the role for three years, Troughton feared getting typecast and felt it was time to leave.  It was also the last episode to feature Frazer Hines (as Jamie) and Wendy Padbury (as Zoe) as companions.  (Hines holds the record for appearing in the most episodes as a companion.)  Finally, this episode was the last to be broadcast in black-and-white.

The War Games also featured a very important first.  This episode featured the first appearance of the Time Lords and the first trip to their home planet.  This was the first episode that showed the society that the Doctor fled when he stole his TARDIS and went to Earth.

At ten episodes, The War Games was either the second or third-longest serial in Doctor Who history, depending on whether or not you count The Trial of the Time Lord as just one long (and regrettable) serial.  The serial opens with the Doctor and his companions apparently landing in No Man’s Land during World War I.  As things progress, the Doctor notices anachronistic technology and Jamie is shocked when a redcoat shows up in a World War I prison.  The Doctor discovers that an alien known as The War Lord (Philip Madoc) has determined that humanity is the most bloodthirsty race in the universe and that he has abducted soldiers from Earth’s bloodiest wars.  They are fighting war games on The War Lord’s planet and the survivors will become the members of the War Lord’s army.  Helping the War Lord is the War Chief (Edward Brayshaw), a renegade Time Lord.

(Just as with The Time Meddler‘s Monk, there’s a fan theory that the War Chief was an early incarnation of The Master.  I don’t believe it, myself.  The Master was far more cunning than The War Chief.)

Despite running for four hours, The War Games is a rare Doctor Who serial that doesn’t have any slow spots and the scenes where the characters cross from war zone to war zone are creatively realized.  The serial starts out as if it’s going to be yet another dry historical episode and then it gradually reveals that all is not as it seems.  I especially liked the performance as Jane Sherwin as Lady Julia, an ambulance driver in the World War I zone.  (Jane Sherwin was also the wife of Doctor Who’s then-produccer Derek Sherwin.)

What really makes The War Games stand out is the final episode.

Having brought an end to the War Games, the Doctor is faced with the impossible prospect of returning the soldiers to their proper times.  He is forced to call upon The Time Lords for help.  Bernard Horsfall, Trevor Martin, and Clyde Pollitt appear as the Time Lords, who dematerialize the War Lord and send the soldiers back home with no memory of what happened.  Unfortunately, The Time Lords are not just going to let the Doctor off the hook for violating their police of non-interference.

First, Jamie and Zoe are sent back to their original times, both with no memory of their life on board the TARDIS.  The Doctor is then put on trial for having stolen his TARDIS and interfering in time and space.  The Doctor argues that he has been fighting evil.  The Time Lords accept his argument and then say that his punishment is to be sent to 20th Century Earth.  He’ll keep his TARDIS but he won’t be able to use it.  And, because the Doctor is well-known on Earth, he’ll have to regenerate.  He’s given five faces and told to pick one.  The Doctor refuses them all.  The Time Lords pick one.  “That’s the worst one!” the Doctor says before he finds himself spinning through space and time.

It’s a poignant ending to the Second Doctor’s adventures.  The Time Lords do not come across as being as bad as the Doctor often made them out to be but it is easy to see why an adventurer like the Doctor would feel constrained by their society.  That the Second Doctor called them for help despite knowing what the consequences would be not only shows how dangerous The War Lord’s plan was but also how the Doctor would always do the right thing even when it was dangerous for him to do so.  The Time Lords could have just as easily dematerialized The Doctor as punishment for stealing his TARDIS.  Jamie and Zoe are spared punishment but they lose their memories of the amazing adventures they shared.  And the Doctor changes once again.

For viewers like me, who got to know Doctor Who from the episodes that were broadcast late at night on PBS, The War Games is a bridge between “old” Doctor Who and the classic era of Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker.  In America, we didn’t get to see much of Patrick Troughton’s Doctor but what we got established him as one of the best to ever play the role.

 

Yor, The Hunter From The Future (1983, directed by Antonio Margheriti)


Yor (Reb Brown, wearing a loin-cloth and blonde wig) is a hunter who makes his way through the desert, fighting dinosaurs and cavemen and drinking the blood of his enemeis.  Yor finds a village and, after saving Kalaa (Corrine Clery) and Pag (Luciano Pigozzi) from a dinosaur, he becomes a valued member of the community.  Yor does not know much about his past and he is searching for the meaning behind an amulet that he wears.  With Kalaa and Pag, he goes on a quest for answers and instead finds himself being attacked by flying saucers, robots, and laser beams.  Despite the dinosaurs and the cavemen, it turns out that this film is taking place in the future, after a nuclear apocalypse.

That’s a great twist and it’s too bad that the film’s title gives it away.  When I first saw this movie as a kid, I loved it.  What kid wouldn’t love a movie the mixed dinosaurs with flying saucers?  Rewatching it as an adult, I still love this film even though I now know better than to take it seriously.  It’s a cheap production and the special effects are so ineptly done that, when the killer robots shoots their laser guns, the beams don’t even appear to be coming out of the barrel.  But I still appreciate the way the film combined two genres, caveman fantasy and post-apocalyptic science fiction and the cast’s commitment to bringing this mix of styles to life.  Director Antonio Margheriti knew that the best way to deal with an incoherent plot was just to toss in a lot of action.  No matter what else you might say about Yor, it’s not boring.

Reb Brown plays Yor and, despite the fight wig, gives one of his better performances.  It helps that, for once, he doesn’t scream like a girl during the action scenes.  John Steiner plays the evil Overlord gives another one of his trademark evil performances.  Yor even gets a Flash Gordon-style theme song!

The movie ends with a cliffhanger and the narrator asking, “Will he succeed?”  Tragically, there was never a Yor 2.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Charlton Heston In The Omega Man


Today would have been the 102nd birthday of actor Charlton Heston.

This scene that I love comes from one of the few horror films in which Heston appeared.  An adaptation of Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, 1971’s The Omega Man featured Charlton Heston as Robert Neville.  By night, Neville protects his house against the mutant horde.  By day, he tracks those sleeping mutants down and watches Woodstock over and over again.

“They don’t make them like that anymore.”

October True Crime: Drew Peterson: Untouchable (dir by Mikael Salomon)


From the years 2007 to 2013, it’s hard to think of anyone who was as universally despised as Drew Peterson.

Drew Peterson was the Illinois cop who first came to national attention when his fourth wife, Stacy, went missing.  Stacy had been on the verge of completing her nursing degree at the time of her disappearance.  Though Drew was a cop, he wasn’t the one who reported her missing.  Instead, it was her sister who called the police after she failed to hear from Stacy.  When Drew was asked about Stacy, he seemed unconcerned and even cocky as he claimed Stacy had run off with another man.  Few people believed him.  It had only been three years since another Peterson had been convicted of murdering his wife and, like Drew, Scott Peterson also claimed that his wife left their home and vanished.

The investigation into Stacy’s disappearance led to authorities taking another look at the death of Drew Peterson’s third wife, Kathy Savio.  Kathy death had originally been found to be an accidental drowning, though how one can drown in an empty bathtub was never really explained.  A second autopsy revealed evidence of a struggle and, in 2013, Drew Peterson was convicted of her murder.  Drew Peterson is currently in prison and Stacy is still listed as missing.

The thing that sticks out about Drew Peterson is how smug he always seemed.  Like Dennis Rader (who was a serial killer by night and a neighborhood compliance officer by day), Drew Peterson was the ultimate nightmare authority figure.  He had a uniform and he had a badge and he had an attitude that said, “I can do whatever I want and if you complain, nobody will believe you.”  When we looked at Drew Peterson, we saw every cop who had ever pulled someone over for a busted taillight or he had ever tried to hit on someone after stopping them for speeding.  Even when he had people accusing him of killing Kathy, Drew would appear on television and smirk and basically dare you to do anything about it.  If you want to know what we mean when we use terms like “mansplaining,” go watch an interview with Drew Peterson.

Drew Peterson’s legal troubles were so drawn out that the 2012 Lifetime film, Drew Peterson: Untouchable, actually went into production before Peterson had even been convicted of anything.  (Peterson actually filed a cease and desist letter demanding that production be halted.)  The film ends not with Drew Peterson being convicted of killing Kathy but instead with Rob Lowe (playing the paunchy, middle-aged Peterson) doing a slow motion strip tease after being arrested.  The film does a very good job of not outright accusing Peterson while, at the same time, reminding viewers of why so many of them instantly disliked him.

Of course, when the film was first aired, it received a lot of attention for casting the amiable and handsome Rob Lowe as Drew Peterson, a man who was neither of those things.  Lowe gives an excellent performance as Peterson, capturing the somewhat desperate swagger of a man who doesn’t want to admit that he’s aging.  Lowe captures Peterson’s cockiness and his manipulative nature and, even more importantly, he captures the arrogance of a man who believes that, because he wears a uniform, he can get away with anything.  As his victimized wives, both Kaley Cuoco and Care Buono gave poignant performances.

I don’t know where Drew Peterson is but, wherever he’s serving his time, I hope he’s being forced to watch this movie at least once a day.

Horror Film Review: The Wind (dir by Nico Mastorakis)


In 1986’s The Wind, Meg Foster stars as Sian Anderson.  Sian is a novelist who lives in Los Angeles with her wealthy boyfriend, John (David McCallum).  How wealthy is John?  He’s so wealthy that he can sit out by his pool with a telephone.  (That’s 80s wealthy!)  He’s so wealthy that, when Sian says that she’s going to go to Greece so she can work on her next novel, John rents out the Goodyear Blimp and has it say, “Bon Voyage.”

(It would have been funnier if it had said, “The World Is Yours.”)

On the Greek isle of Monemvasia, she rents the home of Elias Appleby (Robert Morley), an eccentric man who tells her that she must be careful during the night because the heavy winds can be deadly.  He probably also should have warned her that the handyman, Phil (Wings Hauser), was crazy.  No sooner has the wind started howling outside and Sian has started work on her latest novel (which, from what we hear of her writing, sounds absolutely awful), then wild-eyed Phil starts acting crazy and homicidal.  Isolated and too stupid to figure out how to use a Greek phone (and yes, that actually is a plot point), Sian tries to survive the night.

The Wind was directed by Greek journalist-turned-filmmaker Nico Mastorakis.  Anyone was has seen a previous Mastorakis film will immediately be able to spot that The Wind is a product of his somewhat unique aesthetic vision.  As with almost all of Mastorakis’s films, The Wind is both a thriller and a travelogue.  Yes, Phil is trying to kill Sian but — hey!  Look at how pretty the island is!  As well, in typical Mastorakis fashion, the cast is a hodgepodge of familiar faces who don’t all seem as if they belong in the same movie.  Along with Meg Foster, Wings Hauser, Robert Morley, and David McCallum, the film also features Steve Railsback as a friendly sailor who, stranded on the island by the wind, attempts to help Sian out.

The other big Mastorakis trademark is that none of the characters in the film seem to like each other.  That makes sense when it comes to Sian and Phil.  But what is one to make of the scene where Appleby gives Sian a tour of the home and the two of them, who have just met, immediately start snapping at each other for no reason?  They’ve just met and they really don’t have any reason to be arguing with each other.  But that’s what they do because this is a Nico Mastorakis film.

For me, the funniest part of the film involves John.  Worried that Phil is going to kill her, Sian finally gets to talk to John on the phone.  The connection is bad but John, who is sitting out by his pool, still clearly hears Sian say that someone is trying to kill her.  The line then goes dead.  John contacts the international operator and says that he has to make an emergency call to Greece but he’s not sure about the exact number.  The international operator replies that a call cannot be made with an exact number.  So, what does John?  He shrugs, hangs up,  gets in the swimming pool, swims a few laps and nearly misses it when Sian, hours later, calls him again.  To reiterate: John, a wealthy man with Goodyear Blimp connections, heard that the love of his life was isolated and in fear of her life and his response was to go for a swim.

On the plus side, The Wind is actually decently paced and Nico Mastorakis makes the use of his limited locations.  Meg Foster and Wing Hauser are both such eccentric performers that it’s impossible not be entertained by the sight of them acting opposite each other.  Even by his usual standards, Hauser is memorably unhinged here.  This film is ludicrous and a lot of fun.  It’s a Nico Mastorakis film, after all.

Horror Song of the Day: Zombie Stomp by The Del-Aires


If you watched Horror of Party Beach earlier this week, you’ll definitely remember this song, which was performed by a Patterson, New Jersey band called The Del-Aires!

Everybody’s doing the zombie stomp!

4 Shots From Horror History: 1920s Part One


This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we take a look at the first half of the 1920s.

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920, dir by Robert Wiene)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920, dir by Robert Wiene)

Haxan (1922, dir by Benjamin Christensen)

Haxan (1922, dir by Benjamin Christensen)

Nosferatu (1922, dir by F.W. Murnau)

Nosferatu (1922, dir by F.W. Murnau)

The Hands of Orlac (1924, dir by Robert Wiene)

The Hands of Orlac (1924, dir by Robert Wiene)

Horror Film Review: Alligator (dir by Lewis Teague)


1980’s Alligator begins in 1968.  While on vacation in Florida, a teenage girl named Marisa Kendall purchases a baby alligator named Ramon.  When she returns home to Chicago, her jerk of a father flushes Ramon down the toilet.

12 years pass.  Marisa (Robin Riker) becomes a herpetologist.  As for Ramon, he actually survives being flushed down the toilet and thrives in the sewer.  He eats the carcasses of animals that had been a part of an experiment involving a growth serum.  The serum had the desired effect of making the animals bigger but it also increased their metabolism to the extent that they became aggressive and had to eat constantly.  Evil industrialist Slade (Dean Jagger) is convinced that, by tossing the carcasses in the sewer, he’s ensured that no one will ever find out about the experiments.  Instead, he’s turned Ramon into a giant alligator who is always hungry.  Soon, the super-intelligent alligator is ambushing and eating sewer workers.

Burned-out Detective Dave Madison (Robert Forster) teams up with Marisa to solve the mystery of why so many body parts are turning up in the sewers.  It’s not easy.  No one wants to admit that there might be a giant alligator living under the city.  Everyone wants to believe that’s just an urban legend.  But, after a tabloid reporter (Bart Braverman) manages to snap a few photographs of Ramon before being devoured, the police are forced to deal with the fact that they’ve got an alligator on their hands.  As Slade continues to try to cover up his involvement, big game hunter Colonel Brock (Henry Silva) comes to town and announces that he will be capturing the alligator.

Directed by Lewis Teague and written by John Sayles, Alligator is a dark comedy disguised as a horror film.  While numerous people get eaten and the film ends on a properly ominous note, Alligator is obviously not meant to be taken seriously.  The cast is full of good actors who send up their own images.  That’s especially true in the case of Henry Silva, who appears to be having a blast as the hyper macho Colonel Brock.  Robert Forster, meanwhile, delivers his lines with a self-aware weariness that seems a bit more appropriate for a noir hero than a film about a detective investigating a giant alligator.  One reason why the film works is because Forster, Silva, and the rest of the cast understood exactly what type of film they were appearing in and they delivered their overheated lines with just enough wit to let the viewer know that the film was in on the joke.  The big and somewhat stiff-looking alligator may not look entirely real and it may move somewhat awkwardly but ultimately, it’s the most likable character in the movie.  It just wants to relax in the sewers but, every few minutes, someone else is bugging him.

When first released, Alligator struggled at the box office but it has since gone on to become a cult favorite.  Quentin Tarantino is a self-described fan and he had said he was inspired to cast Robert Forster as Max Cherry in Jackie Brown after seeing him as Dave Madison in this film.  That’s not bad for a movie about a giant alligator!

Horror Film Review: From Hell It Came (dir by Dan Milner)


“And to Hell it can go!” — The Critics

Sometimes, you’ll come across something that simply defies easy description.  It’s something that actually has to be seen to be believed.  I could describe to you the monster at the center of 1957’s From Hell It Came but I don’t know that, even with my extensive vocabulary, I really have the capability to capture just how absurd and weird this thing is.

In this case, a picture says more than a thousand words ever could:

The monster in From Hell it Came is a walking tree that has a rather angry (not to mention immobile) face.  After Prince Kimo is framed for the murder of his father, the chief of a tribe that lives on a South Sea island, he is sentenced to execution.  He announces that he will seek revenge on everyone who framed him.  He’s then stabbed in the heart and encased in the trunk of a hollow tree.  (Apparently, the knife is left in his heart which seems kind of unnecessary but who am I to argue?)  Later, Kimo comes back as a walking tree who tosses his enemies into quicksand.  The knife is still sticking out of the tree, which would suggest that Kimo was physically transformed.  However, the native insist that Kimo has actually become one of their legendary monsters, the fearsome Tabanga.

Along with the natives, there is also a group of American doctors on the island.  They’ve been sent to conduct research and to also give the natives medicine to help them deal with an outbreak of the plague.  The natives don’t trust the medicine.  They trust the magic of their medicine men.  Since this film came out in 1957, the doctors react to this by rolling their eyes and talking down to everyone.  If there’s one thing that has remained consistent over the decades, it’s that the worst way to get people to do anything is to talk down to them.

The doctors are the first to discover the tree stump that will eventually become the Tobanga.  They take the stump back to their laboratory, where they discover that the stump is radioactive due to some nearby atomic tests.  The next day, the stump comes to life and leaves the laboratory.  One of the most interesting things about this film is that the scientists are skeptical about the natives claim that the tree stump is one of their legendary monsters come to life but they are willing to accept that radiation created a walking stump.  Radiation bringing a tree stump to walking life actually makes even less sense than magic doing it.

While the tree is killing its enemies, the American doctors deal with their own drama.  For instance, Dr. Terry Mason (Tina Carver), is a woman and that greatly disturbs her male colleagues, all of whom  can’t understand why she’s not currently married and raising a family.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Mae Kilgore (Linda Watkins, an American actress who played the role with an amazingly bad British accent) owns the local trading post and is not happy about having a killer tree wandering around the island.  Mrs. Kilgore is prone to saying things like, “I saw the bloomin’ thing!”

In the end, the Americans finally figure out how to deal with the murderous tree.  “Your American magic is better,” the current chief of the natives says.  “Hell yeah!” I shout in response, “AMERICA!”  From Hell It Came is a thoroughly ludicrous movie but, once you watch it, you’ll never forget that tree.