Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.11 “Possessed”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Donna’s got a knife!

Episode 2.11 “Possessed”

(Dir by David W. Hagar, originally aired on February 2nd, 1997)

A notorious serial killer dies when a prison bus is struck by several cars.  His blood gets on several of the people present at the accident and, as a result, he starts possessing them person-by-person.  He inhabits a body, commits several murders, and, once his current body expires, he moves on to the next person.

For instance, lifeguard Donna DiMarco was on the scene of the accident and soon, she finds herself putting on sexy lingerie, grabbing a knife, and driving around in search of young hitchhikers to seduce and kill.  Oh no!  That’s not the Donna that we all know.  Fortunately, Mitch and Ryan realize what’s happening and Mitch is able to track Donna down before she kills her first hitchhiker.  The killer’s spirit flees Donna’s spirt and possesses its next victim.

Ray Reegun (Robert Ginty) is a cop who was one of the first people on the scene of the accident.  When he becomes possessed by the killer, he immediately heads down to Mitch’s office and kidnaps Ryan.  While Mitch tries to find them, Ray takes Ryan to an abandoned movie theater and tells her about all of the great movies that have premiered at the theater.

“Is this you or is this the killer?” Ryan asks.

It seems like a strange question to ask.  I mean, does it really matter?  Ray is possessed by a serial killer and is holding Ryan prisoner.  So, whether it’s Ray or the killer who is into the movies really doesn’t seem that important.  Bad people can like movies too, after all.  And Ray’s married so if he’s the one flirting with Ryan at the theater, that’s not a good thing.

Fear not, though.  Mitch is able to save both Ryan and Ray.  It’s left ambiguous as to whether or not the evil spirit has truly been defeated after it leaves Ray’s body.  The episode actually ends with Ryan and Mitch leaving to check on another person who was at the accident so who know?  We know that Mitch went back to being a lifeguard after the end of this season but we don’t know what happened to Ryan.  Maybe she’s still running around the country, trying to track down that spirit.

It’s an interesting idea.  I liked the idea of the spirit jumping from person-to-person and the idea of the spirit moving in the order of the people who arrived at the scene of the accident predates the Final Destination films.  The first half of the show, which featured Donna trying to kill that hitchhiker, was enjoyably absurd,  But the stuff with Ray and Ryan got bogged down with Ray giving that endless monologue in the theater.  Watching this, one gets the feeling that whoever wrote the episode lost intrest about halfway through.  Not even the presence of Robert Ginty can liven things up.

Oh well.  Next week — two Vikings come back to life and they’re mad!  Woo hoo!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.10 “A Very Strange Affair/The Sailor”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week’s episode is about angels and Flying Dutchmen.

Episode 5.10 “A Very Strange Affair/The Sailor”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on January 2nd, 1982)

This episode begins not with Mr. Roarke meeting the plane but instead with him heading out alone to the beach, where he meets a ghost ship that is being steered by Captain Hendrik Van Horton.  Captain Van Horton is the legendry Flying Dutchman, the sailor who cursed God when he failed to defeat the Spanish fleet and who is now cursed to sail the ocean until he finds a woman who not only loves him but who is “willing to sacrifice her life” for him.  Every seven years, Captain Van Horton is allowed to spend two days on dry land and he almost always comes to Fantasy Island.

And yes, this all sounds very intriguing and it is an interesting way to open this episode.  I’m so used to the stock footage of Roarke driving down to the docks that it’s always a bit jarring to see something different.  However, Captain Van Horton is also played by the reliably stiff (if likable) Peter Graves.  Graves’s deadpan and straight-forward acting style made him the ideal actor for certain roles, usually as a professional of some sort.  However, Graves’s rather stoic persona did not make him the best choice to play a tortured sea captain, cursed to sail on the ocean for an eternity.

As for his fantasy, the captain is lucky enough to be on the Island at the same time as Laura Myles (Florence Henderson), whose fantasy is to fall in love with an old-fashioned man’s man.  She falls for the Captain, despite the attempts of her ex-boyfriend, Bill (Brett Halsey), to win her back.  Unfortunately, the Captain loses his temper and punches the well-meaning Bill.  Bill is willing to forgive the Captain but Mr. Roarke explains that the Island police are not as forgiving.  (Doesn’t Mr. Roarke control the police?  It’s his Island!)  Captain Van Horton needs to marry Laura and then leave.

Captain Van Horton explains that he’s fallen in love with Laura but he can’t ask her to die for him.  Laura says that she would be willing to die for a man who she has known for a day and half.  Roarke then reveals that Laura doesn’t have to die.  She just has to be “willing to die.”  (Wow, what a silly curse!)  The Captain and Laura sail off together but you have to wonder how the Captain feels about discovering, after hundreds of years of wandering, that there was an easily exploitable loophole to the curse.

As for the other fantasy, Ron (Dick Smothers) needs some confidence so he’ll be able to talk notorious tightwad, J.D. Stoneman (Hans Conried) i,nto investing in an orphanage.  Roarke rings a bell and summons an angel, Miss Harbringer (Shelley Smith).  Miss Harbringer gives Ron a pep talk and even goes to talk to Stoneman herself.  Of course, Miss Harbringer’s real purpose is to make Ron’s wife, Elaine (Arlene Golonka), so jealous that Elaine will take over and encourage Ron to talk Stoneman into giving him the money.

Anyway, Miss Harbringer flirts with Stoneman and convinces him to invest in a good cause.  But she allows Ron and Elaine to believe that it was Ron’s powers of persuasion that convinced Stoneman to invest.  It’s kind of sad that Ron and Elaine forget about Miss Harbringer as soon as they get their money but Roarke says that’s the way it is for angels.  I don’t think that’s true, though.  I bet George Bailey never forgot Clarence.

(Atta boy, Clarence!)

Tattoo is not in this episode so it’s Julie’s turn to assist Mr. Roarke.  What’s odd is that the episode doesn’t even offer up any explanation as to where Tattoo has disappeared.  This episode was a bit on the blah side so it definitely could have used Tattoo.  A random llama shows up at the end of the show and I liked that.  Llamas are cute.  But otherwise, this was a forgettable trip to the Island.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.13 “Down Time”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch loses his car and Baker loses his wallet.

Episode 2.13 “Down Time”

(Dir by John Florea, aired on December 16th, 1978)

While chasing two female car thieves, Ponch crashes his motorcycle and sprains his finger.  Getraer is overjoyed because he can now require Ponch to take a few days off work.  Ponch is happy because he’s just moved into a new apartment and he wants to get to know his neighbor, Kim Balford (Randi Oakes).

Kim says she’s an aspiring actress but actually she’s the head of a ring of car thieves.  In fact, by an amazing coincidence, they’re the same car thieves that Ponch was chasing when he injured himself!  Kim sees that Ponch has a new car, a brown Firebird.  Ponch really loves that car.  Well, too bad!  Kim and her associates steal his car.

To Getraer’s disappointment, Ponch is soon spending his entire vacation at headquarters, pressuring people like Detective Bill Ross (Burr DeBenning) to find his car.  Detective Ross informs Ponch that he’ll probably never see his car again but Ponch is determined to get it back.

Baker, meanwhile, just want to find his wallet.  His misplaced it and he has no idea where it is.  Ponch is upset that Baker is more upset over losing all of his money and his ID than over Ponch losing his car.  Baker, realizing that this is CHiPs and Ponch therefore always comes first, apologizes to Ponch and agrees to set aside his own problems to help Ponch out.

Fortunately, Ponch and Baker do figure out that Kim is the one behind the car thefts.  It all leads to a chase through the streets of Los Angeles.  Kim and her two partners-in-crime are in one of those big trucks that are used to transports cars from one place to another.  (I can’t imagine driving one of those things.)  Since they’re off duty, Baker and Ponch have to make due with Baker’s pickup truck.  (Fortunately, Grossman shows up on a motorcycle so this episode doesn’t turn out like that weird season one episode where Baker and Ponch spent the entire episode in a patrol car.)  Kim is caught but, of course, Ponch’s beloved firebird is destroyed in the chase.

Good news, though!  Baker finds his wallet in his jacket.  Yay!  YOU GO, BAKER!

This episode was actually a lot of fun.  Watching it, you could just hear people in 1978 saying, “They steal cars? …. But, they’re women!”  Randi Oakes, who would later be a regular on the show as a member of the Highway Patrol, gives a wonderfully over-the-top performance as Kim.  As well, anyone watching should be able to relate to Getraer’s annoyance as he discovers that there’s no way get Ponch to stay home.  Best of all, with so much of the action taking place in Ponch’s swinging bachelor pad, this episode was pretty much a museum-quality exhibit of the late 70s.  Watching this episode was like stepping into a time machine.

It was fun!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the second season comes to a close with …. TRAGEDY!

Episode 2.23 “Sons and Lovers”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on May 9th, 1986)

The final episode of the second season Miami Vice opens with Crockett and Tubbs getting their cover blown for what seems like the 100th time.  Seriously, has there every been an episode featuring these two going undercover in which their cover has not been blown?  This time, they’re nearly executed by the drug dealers they were trying to arrest but, at the last minute, a sniper with a laser-guided sight shoots one of the dealers.  In the confusion, Sonny and Tubbs are able to subdue most of the other dealers and disarm a booby trap that would have blown up Switek and Zito.

When Crockett mentions that they would have been dead if not for the sniper with the laser pointer, Switek says, “None of our guys have a laser.”

(Why not, Switek!?  Are you guys trying to win the War on Drugs or not!?)

It turns out that the sniper worked for Angelina Medera (Phanie Napoli), the daughter of Calderone, the Colombian drug lord whose murder of Tubb’s brother led to Tubbs coming to Miami in the first place.  Though she is still bitter over Crockett killing her father, Angelina has come to Miami to introduce Tubbs to his son, infant Ricardo, and to warn Tubbs that her half-brother, Orlando (John Leguizamo, in his first screen role), has put a contact out on his life.

Tubbs is a father!  Tubbs is in love!  Well, as Crockett could warn him, there’s nothing worse than being happy when you’re a member of the Vice Squad because it’s guaranteed that your happiness will be ripped away from you in the most violent way possible.  Orlando comes to Miami and kidnaps Angelina and little Ricardo.  With the help of a corrupt DEA agent named Harrison (J.C. Quinn), Orlando tries to set Tubbs up.  Drawing Tubbs out to a pier where Angelina is bound in a car, Orlando plans to blow up his rival.  Tubbs, being the star of the show, does manage to survive being near the car when it explodes.  Angelina is not so lucky.  Tragically, Tubbs believes that his son was in the car as well.  (Actually, Orlando set little Ricardo back to Colombia.)  At Angelina’s funeral, Tubbs receives a letter from Orlando.  “I’ll be back!” it reads.

And so, season 2 ends!

The finale was a bit of a let down, largely because a good deal of the running time was devoted to flashbacks to remind us just who the Calerdones were in the first place.  As well, John Leguizamo is not exactly the most intimidating of actors and his performance as Orlando was a bit stiff and awkward.  (It makes sense when you consider that he was only 19 years old and making his debut on a hit television show.  Anyone would be nervous.)  Much like the Frank Zappa episode, it’s obvious that this episode was meant to launch a storyline that would be revisited in the future.  While Leguizamo would return, it would appear that this episode is the only one to feature Tubbs’s son.  So, I guess Tubbs will have to live the rest of his life thinking his childhood was blown up by a Colombian drug lord.

That’s dark!

That’s Miami Vice dark!

Despite the weak finale, I thought the second season of Miami Vice was a good one.  There were a few weak episodes but, for the most part, it was a strong and stylish season and one that continued to explore just why exactly the War on Drugs proved to be unwinnable.  Episodes like Out Where The Buses Don’t Run, Bushido, One Way Ticket, Little Miss Dangerous, and Trust Fund Pirates were all examples of Miami Vice at its cynical and surreal best.

Next week, we begin season 3 with a guest appearance by Liam Neeson!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join us for The Octagon and Swingers!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be The Octagon, selected and hosted by Sweet Emmy Cat!

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching Swingers!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up The Octagon on YouTube or Tubi, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start Swingers, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.9 “Food For Thought”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, everyone’s thinking about food.

Episode 3.9 “Food For Thought”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo and Kit Hood, originally aired on January 30th, 1989)

The science fair is coming up and the Farrell twins are doing their project on eating disorders.  One of them, I think it’s Heather, is convinced that everyone at Degrassi has an eating disorder.  She even speculates that Lucy has an eating disorder, even though Lucy explains that it’s a combination of exercise and her metabolism that allow her to remain thin.  “Some people are just thin,” the other twin says and that’s an important thing to remember.  Not every skinny girl has an eating disorder and assuming that they do can be very harmful to their self-image.

Alexa worries that she’s fat.  After she asks Simon if she’s fat, Simon stupidly says, “I don’t know.”  (Simon isn’t very smart.)  Alexa asks the Farrell twins if it’s possible to just be anorexic for a week.  To Alexa, that sounds like a much better way to lose weight than to exercise.

Meanwhile, the person who actually does have an eating disorder — Kathleen — is left to struggle alone.  Kathleen is the girl who always has to be the first to raise her hand with the answer in class.  She has to be the first to get involved with every school project  She always has to be the first to tell everyone else why they’re wrong.  Kathleen is a bossy perfectionist who insists that she doesn’t need anyone’s help.  As a result, Kathleen is not particularly popular.  Melanie is Kathleen’s only friend, largely because Melanie is one of the few people to understand that Kathleen’s home life sucks.  Her father is always working and her mother is an alcoholic.  Kathleen wants to win the science fair so her parents will be proud of her and maybe they’ll stop fighting for a few minutes.

Along with everything else, Kathleen is bulimic.  Despite already being thin, Kathleen is skipping meals and throwing up whatever she eats during the day.  She’s also taking laxatives.  (Ew!)  Melanie, sensing that something is wrong with Kathleen, takes a look at Kathleen’s diary while Kathleen is busy throwing up.  Melanie discovers that Kathleen is obsessed with losing ten pounds by the end of the week.

Needless to say, it all catches up with Kathleen.  After only receiving honorable mention in the science fair, Kathleen faints in the school hallway.  (It’s really not a show about an eating disorder until someone faints.)  What sets this episode apart from the typical episode about an eating disorder is that, even after she faints, Kathleen refuses to admit that she has a problem.  The episode ends with Kathleen refusing to listen as Melania tries to convince her that she needs to get help.  It’s a dark ending but it’s also a realistic one.  Problems are never as easily solved as television would have you believe.

This episode was an example of what Degrassi does so well.  Kathleen, a character who most shows would simply portray as being a one-dimensional bitch, is revealed to be suffering more than perhaps any of the other regular characters.  Instead of treating her like a joke or a stereotype, this episode invites us to consider why Kathleen acts the way that she does.  For all the well-intentioned students at Degrassi, the classmate who needs them the most is left to suffer in isolation.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 9/16/24 — 9/22/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Our annual October Horrorthon is just 8 days away!  I’ve been busy getting ready, as you can tell be looking at the films and the book listed below.

Earlier this week, Jeff and I drove to Fort Smith, Arkansas so I could visit the Book Barn and pick up a bunch of horror paperbacks.  I can’t wait to read and review all of them this October!  As well, when I returned home, I received a copy of Eric Roberts’s just-published autobiography!  This has been a good week to be a book lover!

This upcoming week, it’s back up to the lake for a few more days of writing and contemplation as I prepare from my favorite three months of the year!

Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week!

Films I Watched:

  1. Cape Fear (1962)
  2. Chapter 27 (2007)
  3. Death Rink (2019)
  4. Do Not Disturb (2010)
  5. Go, Johnny, Go! (1959)
  6. Godzilla Raids Again (1955)
  7. Hitchhike (1974)
  8. It Conquered The World (1956)
  9. Labyrinth (1986)
  10. Let It Be (1970)
  11. Money Plane (2020)
  12. The Only Way Out (1993)
  13. Phantom Fun-World (2023)
  14. Saved By The Belding (2010)
  15. The Survivor (1981)
  16. The Wager (2007)
  17. Without Warning (1980)
  18. The Wolfman (2010)
  19. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez
  2. Fantasy Island
  3. Get Judged by Byron Browne
  4. The Jerry Springer Show
  5. The Love Boat
  6. Miami Vice
  7. Monsters
  8. Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story
  9. Night Flight
  10. One Step Beyond

Books I Read:

  1. Gila! (1981) by Les Simons

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Britney Spears
  2. The Beatles
  3. Blondie
  4. The Chemical Brothers
  5. Christina Aguilera
  6. Chromatics
  7. The Courettes
  8. The Covids
  9. David Guetta
  10. Dillon Francis
  11. Fiona Apple
  12. Haim
  13. The Human League
  14. K
  15. The Orb
  16. Patti Smith
  17. Saint Motel
  18. Silversun Pickups
  19. Steve Aoki
  20. Tate McRae
  21. X

Live Tweets:

  1. Money Plane
  2. Cape Fear
  3. Labyrinth
  4. The Wolfman

News From Last Week:

  1. Actress Kathryn Crosby Dies At 90
  2. Sean “Diddy” Combs is on suicide watch after sex trafficking arrest, sources say

Links From Last Week:

  1. A Friend In Need: Why Matthew Perry Couldn’t Make It
  2. Merry Mabon
  3. Have You Seen China’s Incredible “Lost” Kowloon Walled City? Here’s A True-Life Crime Oasis!
  4. Tater’s Week in Review 9/20/24

Links From The Site:

  1. Erin shared One Kind of Woman, Justice, Guilty, Frenchie, New Detective, All-Story Love, and Mexico After Dark!
  2. I shared music videos from The Courettes, Tate McRae, Silversun Pickups, Haim, The Covids, Killer Kin, and Lilac!
  3. I reviewed Degrassi Junior High, Miami Vice, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, Monsters, Malibu CA, Highway to Heaven, T and T, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, Check It Out, and The Only Way Out!
  4. I shared my week in television!

More From Us:

  1. At her photography site, Erin shared Green, Who Lives In There?, Chubby, Chubby 2, Panther, Panther 2, and Left Over From The Storm 2!
  2. At my music site, I shared songs from Steve Aoki, The Orb, Chromatics, Fiona Apple, The Human League, The COVIDS, and David Guetta!

Click here for last week!

Retro Television Review: The Only Way Out (dir by Rod Hardy)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1993’s The Only Way Out!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

“I’ll kill you before I let you go,” Tony (Henry Winkler) says to his terrified girlfriend, Lynn (Stephanie Faracy).

Agck!  Those are frightening words and they are certainly not something that you would expect to hear from a character played by notorious Hollywood nice guy Henry Winkler.  And, indeed, it would probably shock most of the characters in the film if they knew how Tony talked to Lynn.  Tony is a grad student who has worked at any number of jobs.  While some people might say all of those jobs prove that Tony has a hard time sticking to anything, Tony has obviously learned how to convince people that he’s actually a just a determined man working his way through grad school and taking whatever job will help to pay the bills.  Tony is friendly and romantic and given to grand gestures.  He’s the type who shows up unexpectedly at Lynn’s place of employment with flowers.  He’s the type of guy that strangers applaud while those close to him look for any way to escape.

Lynn knows all about the other side of Tony.  Tony is controlling, obsessive, and abusive.  He hits her.  He barks orders at her kids.  When she tells him that she wants him out of her life, he refuses to go and blames her for all of their problems.  He’s someone who can quickly go from being everyone’s friend to being a monster.  He preys on insecurity and, whenever anyone stands up  to him, he plays the victim.  Tony is a classic abuser and the fact that he’s played by the likable Henry Winkler makes him all the more disturbing.  Like most abusers, Tony knows how to turn on the charm.  He knows the power of a smile and a few complimentary words.

Lynn is in the process of getting divorced from an architect named Jeremy (John Ritter).  It’s been a remarkably amicable divorce, with Jeremy and Lynn agreeing on joint custody and apparently not bearing any ill feelings towards one another.  The only problem is that Lynn cannot bring herself to actually sign the divorce papers.  Jeremy wants to marry Susannah (Julianne Phillips) and Susannah is not happy about the long wait.  She’s even less happy when Jeremy takes it upon himself to try to protect Lynn from Tony.  Soon, Tony is stalking Jeremy and Jeremy finds himself considering a particularly extreme solution to his problem.

It’s John Ritter vs Henry Winkler and the casting of two of Hollywood’s best-known nice guys as violent rivals works surprisingly well.  Winkler is memorably unhinged while Ritter plays a guy who is struggling to hold onto a life that, until Tony shows up, seemed to be perfect.  In the end, it’s not just Tony who catches us by surprise by just how far he’s willing to take things.  The film’s ending took me by genuine surprise.  Featuring excellent dramatic turns from two actors best known for their comedic skills, The Only Way Out is a superior melodrama.