Constantine, Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 7, 2019 by casewright

Can one act stain your soul for all eternity? It turns out that if you attempt suicide, you’re going to Hell. Anywho, Constantine was a comic by Alan Moore (Watchmen) long before Keanu Reeves played the demon fighter. Full disclosure, I have purchased, but not read the comic. It’s long and I’m not sure if I can get through it for this horrorthon, but I WILL TRY!

Constantine was born with a “gift” that he could see demons among us. This drives him out of his mind; so, he commits suicide and is sent promptly to Hell. He’s tormented for what seems like an eternity, but in our time was just two minutes. He returns to Earth because paramedics revive him. Because he attempted to kill himself, he’s condemned to Hell when he dies. How do I know this?The “Half-Angel” Gabriel tells it to us in really clunky exposition. It turns out that Heaven and Hell are basically in a Cold War and can’t directly fight on Earth.

Constantine REALLY doesn’t want to go back to Hell. His solution is to fight demons for a living to get into heaven. He does an exorcism here and there and fights evil, but this isn’t his ticket back to heaven- as I was told by MORE exposition. Constantine is kind of a depressive and a little whiny at times. I guess that’s why I kept getting annoyed by him. Yeah, Yeah, your life sucks, but there’s no reason to do this all the time:

There’s a lot of these “I’m so broody Boohoo” moments in this film.

Like this one: broody 3.jpg

This one was a long trip to bummer time with a soupçon of anger:

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Between the complaining, Constantine uncovers a plot that Lucifer’s son Mammon is trying to break into earth and cause a lot of trouble. Trouble….Trouble….that starts with M …. and ends with N, which stands for Mammon!

Constantine was entertaining, but it seems kinda all over the place at times. The parts that had him hot on the trail of Mammon and his evil plans were fun, but all the side plots and side characters were a mixture of goofy and dull. Overall, it was a good burgers and fries flick. Not to say that the comics or the cartoon (yep, there’s a cartoon, I know because of Google) aren’t awesome, but if they are the same quality as the movie, they are beach reads or I’m stuck on public transportation reading. There might be sequel. Will I watch it? Yes, because despite my snark, I’m basically 14.

Two Sentence Horror Stories, Series Review By Case Wright (Dir/Created by Vera Miao) – The New Coke of Horror

Posted on October 6, 2019 by casewright

Happy Horrorthon! Being lectured to by Two Sentence Horror Stories is as fun as going to an office meeting, at 4 pm, on Friday, December 24th, there are 102 slides, and you have to pee. In short, I watched this so you don’t have to. It’s really been awhile since I watched something so mediocre that it only excelled at being hamfisted trash.

I’ve written many times that horror and science fiction can be great at making political points and raising awareness: Twilight Zone wove great stories with salient issues to America’s living rooms, Night of the Living Dead looked civil rights right in the eye, and Friday the 13th exposed how hockey goalies had taken over the Summer Camp industry.

What do all of the above have in common that Two Sentence Horror Stories does not? They were entertaining and good stories first. I get that some people are angry, but that is no excuse for making terrible television. You have an opportunity to use great stories and subtlety to express yourself and CHANGE people’s minds, but if all you have is a political statement and a boring story- you devolve into lecture and people tune out. The point of using political messages in Horror is BECAUSE your goal is to get through to the other half of the country who disagrees with you.

The greatest example of horror with a message is Night of the Living Dead. Wes Craven discussed Night of The Living Dead and “At the end you realized [George Romero] made a political statement.” AT….THE….END!!!

People have their views. People have views that are different. People have views that are straight up wrong. Now, we are totally and openly polarized so getting people to see your point of view takes the MOST care and effort. It is not the time for hamfisted mediocrity. It’s the time for brilliance!

Two Sentence Horror Stories starts with the social evil right out of the gate and hammers us endlessly with their point of view. Every single episode has the worst mixture of terrible dialogue, confusing plot points, and amateurish camera shots. In essence, it is a failure and shouldn’t even be watched on the elliptical.

Two Sentence Horror Stories- begins with the first sentence of a horror cliche’. Then, you see someone beleaguered by a social evil. No one supports them until it’s almost too late. Then, the social evil is easily smacked in the face. The second sentence of the horror cliche’ appears. Lastly, we get a take home assignment and have to watch Ken Burns’ lesser known works.

The show puts the dilemma right in your face without nuance. I agree with the social message, but it’s as subtle as a brick to the face and the messages in this show aren’t even ground breaking.

They build the story around the message instead of the message around the story. You need to entertain first, get the audience to identify with your protagonist, and then get us to think. This is never done. Lastly, the messages they’re spoon-feeding us aren’t even new ideas and everyone is on board with these ideas. Therefore, the show fails to even break new ground when it’s haranguing us. It’s like they’re shouting at the Mayo Clinic to stop using leeches.

In summary, this show is boring, not scary, and preachy about issues that no one is disputing! Maybe, next week’s episode will be on how we all have to start drinking water and stop drinking bleach.

“In The Tall Grass” Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 5, 2019 by casewright

Happy Horrorthon! With all the streaming services that I review, you’d think one of them would comp me for a month! Feel bad for me… What do you get when you mix: Religious ferver, sacrifice, cannabalism, a soon to be baby daddy, a really skinny dirty kid/oracle, a dog, alien influenced grass, and A LOT of REALLY stupid choices? Yep, you get “In the Tall Grass”. This sounds really convoluted, but the tall grass is just that, but it’s also evil or controlled by an alien spaceship. I’m guessing spaceship. The story is basically Tommyknockers, but without any inventions and far less math.

Let me explain, Becky is unmarried, pregnant by a musician of sorts, and on her way to give up her baby to a family in San Diego. Cal, her brother, is driving her cross country to do it. Why are they driving and not flying? I don’t really know because the adoptive family would’ve definitely paid for a flight, but the adoptive parents make remote bad choices like everyone else in this story. Let’s call this Bad Decision #1. They decide to stop and they hear a boy yelling for help who is purportedly lost in the tall grass and needs emergency services. Becky and Cal do not have EMS training, supplies, or even a compass- so they decide to enter the tall grass because they are stupid..really. This is Bad Decision #2. Really what did they think that they would do other than get lost? They didn’t even think to call the police first! The police by the way would’ve said DON’T GO IN THE GRASS or pay a lot for that muffler. The two of them rapidly realize that they are lost and not really in normal grass.

Later, the soon to be Baby Daddy- Travis- shows up at the cornfield. He finds his girlfriend’s abandoned car. It’s been there a while. Does he call the police? Nope. Now, I get some folks want to be their own first-responder and that’s respectable if you are basically competent. Travis is not call police – Bad Decision #3. Travis then decides to also trounce around in the grass …. and gets lost. Bad Decision #4.

Travis finds Tobin the boy that called Becky into the grass and he knows A LOT about everyone: Travis, Becky, Cal, and all the other people in the grass. Yes, there is another family in there, BUT the dad in the family has gone full on EVIL. That man is Ross (Patrick Wilson). Ross was a normal person until he went into the grass and touched the monolith rock at the grass maze’s center. The rock tells you to do things like how to get out of the grass, how to smash your wife’s skull – yep that happened, and whether or not Keto is just plain bullshit.

I’d like to take a second to write about Patrick Wilson’s performance. I liked it. Granted, I’m a fan of his work, but it was fun to see him play a villain. He had the phony real estate thing down and he could really turn up the rage. Also, his character was the only one not to make stupid choices.

The story shifts into a cat and mouse game of Ross hunting Becky and the rest of the people down to kill them over and over again. Over and over again? Yes, there’s a time loop created by the rock. So, you get lost in the grass a lot and killed a lot by Ross. Bummer. Their only hope is to kill Ross and stop the cycle. Will they kill Ross? Will they remain in the tall grass? Will I get up to benching 315Lbs (142 Kg)?

Is this movie worth watching? Well…the constant bad decisions really make it hard to sympathize with the characters. I feel like the grass could’ve been more choosy or maybe the grass is a rescuer alien entity likes chaos like ALL of my ex-girlfriends. The movie also really reminded me of Cube and it turns out it was written by Vincenzo Natali – the writer and director of Cube. Well, it basically was Cube meets evil Field of Dreams. What is old is new again and again and again…wait I just wondered into some grass. No…wait, it’s just the kitchen. Do you want anything as long as I’m up?

For all you Stephen King nerds there were some Easter eggs In The Tall Grass, See Below:

Creepshow, S1 Ep 1, “Gray Matter” “The House of the Head” Review by Case Wright

Posted on October 4, 2019 by casewright

Creepshow

Happy Horrorthon! We are in the thick of it and it is AWESOME! Yes, I got another streaming subscription service, but I draw the line at Disney and CBS because they’re boring. In 1982, Creepshow was a film written, produced, and directed by horror masters, including Stephen King. The stories were an homage to the EC Horror Comics from the 1950s and 1960s. The show has become reincarnated on the Shudder streaming service and I will review all of the episodes as they are released.

What’s great about these shows (except for Two Sentence Horror, which is a steaming pile of garbage) is that they give talented people a chance to direct or write when they haven’t had the opportunity prior. Also, because Greg Nicotero (Executive Producer Of The Walking Dead and friend to everyone in horror) is helming it, the show has tremendous access to great stories by Stephen King and actors like Tobin Bell (Saw) and Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad).

The two stories in the premiere were Gray Matter – a Stephen King short story from Night Shift, Directed by Greg Nicotero and The House of the Head was the second story and was Directed by John Harrison, written by Josh Malerman. The two stories and direction were completely different.

Gray Matter was what I expected: an over the top story with lots of gore that would have been totally at home in a Tales From the Crypt episode. The House of the Head, on the other hand was genuinely TERRIFYING! I had trouble watching this story because it was so intense that I really worried about the characters and the figurines- I’ll explain later.

Gray Matter is about a son who’s trying to live with his alcoholic single dad. Everyday the Dad promises to stop drinking and everyday it ends with both of them disappointed.

One day, the father drinks some tainted beer and turns into a slime monster with a craving for beer and people. The son who enabled his father’s drinking now enables his father’s thirst for human flesh.

This enabling dooms mankind. In essence, the disease of alcoholism consumed the alcoholic and destroyed everyone around him. Sounds about right.

At this time in the 1980s, Stephen King was in the worst period of his cocaine and alcohol addiction and many of his stories revolve around the enabling and tragedy that followed his disease. In an interview, he described how he put cotton balls up his nose from the frequent bleeds and he kept a sugar bowl filled with cocaine next to him while he wrote.

The symbolism in the episode was not that obvious; it was much into dramatic performances and gore. The monster was a classic Tom Savini art work.

The House of the Head was amazingly unexpected. It was tense, subtle, and had you on the edge of your seat for the entire episode. Evie, the central protagonist in The House of the Head, is a nine year old girl whose father got her a dollhouse. Screenshot (98).png

The dollhouse is adorable with cute figurine parents and a child.

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Unfortunately, the dollhouse is also haunted by a severed head!!!! Yikes!

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The writing and direction ramps up the tension as we see that reality is being blurred by this supernatural entity. The figurines in the dollhouse get terrorized and murdered by the severed head. It’s real nightmare fuel.

The suspense/thriller writing and directing was also unexpected. I thought it was going to be a Tales From the Crypt style story; instead John Harrison (Dir) and Josh Malerman (Writer) relentlessly pull the viewer into the haunted dollhouse where every shot is filled with uncertainty and terror.

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The dollhouse itself becomes a character and the viewer is forced to wonder if our protagonist and her parents are in fact figurines themselves with shots like this.

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The parents are laying in an doll-like manner and the furniture also looks like a dollhouse’s accessories. Is the Head pulling them into a dollhouse world? Is it pushing its way into our reality? Much like the episode itself, you never really know. Every time Evie looks from one room to another, the camera pans back and the figurines have changed and it’s rarely good.

This show was a lot of fun and it’s great to see a horror anthology story done well!

It’s not really enough to recommend this show without recommending Shudder itself. It’s not a lot of money per month and has a lot of original programming.

Joker, Book Review, By Case Wright

Posted on October 3, 2019 by casewright

Happy Horrorthon! 2008 – Barack Obama was becoming a household name, I still had some hair, and Heath Ledger’s Joker brought the absolute evil of clowns to the silver screen. I understand that some of you might think that the comic Joker is not a horror comic, but guys it’s got a clown right there on the cover; they are ALL trying to kill you. IT COUNTS!

Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo sought to bring Ledger’s Joker into a comic form and dig a little deeper into the psychology of Joker and why someone would follow him. The story is narrated by Jonny Frost – a small time gangster- who wanted to be big. Jonny figures that he himself is not larger than life, but by being near bright evil, he too could shine like the moon does with the earth. He picks the Joker.

Christopher Nolan described the Joker as an absolute. He is an id of Corruption and destruction. In this story, the Joker has gotten out of Arkham….again. SIDE NOTE: what’s with Gotham?! They must have the single party liberal governing that we have in Seattle because you’d think they’d have a Three Strikes Rule or the Death Penalty by now. I mean, why let the Joker continue to keep breathing? I get how Batman has this weird code- he wears rubber, cape, lives in a cave, and is all kinds of weirdo, but why do the rest of Gotham’s citizens have it? Do they not vote? Do they have only one ballot choice? So, the Joker meets Jonny Frost the second that he leaves Arkham and Jonny works as a toady and hanger on for the majority of the book.

Jonny narrates the Joker’s return to power as he reaps through the underworld, but he burns most of his possessions down and kills all of his own henchmen and even shoots Jonny at the end. Really, the story depicted the Joker as a force of Anti-Creation. While it was a deeper dive into this Super Villain, it left me wanting because it was told through the lens of this mediocrity Jonny Frost. It says Joker right there on the cover so you’d think it would be all about the Clown Prince of Crime, but instead it was this tangential view of him. I would’ve been more captivated by a story just about the Joker without a go-between.

The story was strong and depicting LOTS AND LOTS of gore. In fact, the Joker kills more people than the Spanish Flu. He’s Lucifer and Death combined to cause havoc. In the end, we get the obvious conclusion that he’s just this disease of evil and that Batman is really just a treatment, but not a cure. It seems that Gotham’s real disease is a soft on crime public policy.

N. By Stephen King; Review By Case Wright

Posted on October 2, 2019 by casewright

kingsnhere

What if you’re not crazy? What if you’re finally seeing the truth that everyone else is too afraid to see? Is the revelation too much for your mind? Could your mind be both the doorway to hell and the gate keeping the evil old ones at bay? Most importantly, can a person’s mental illness infect another person? Stephen King’s “N” is a hybrid of Lovecraft and Modern Psychology where we are forced to learn the answers to these questions.

The story was both a novella and adapted as a comic book/olde-timey radio-show. Confused? Let me explain. N was first published as a novella, but instead of getting made into a comic book or as is typical of King’s work- a movie or miniseries, it became something else. Marc Guggenheim adapted the work as an all dialogue webseries similar to the serials of the 1930s and 40s and presented the story as a series of hyper-detailed comic illustrations. You can see it in its entirety below.

I have also read the novella several times. Honestly, sometimes I’m not sure why I like a particular Stephen King story more than another, but it seems to be when the characters are so real that they could be you or your neighbor. Yes, the monsters are spooky, but it’s the people, their story, their lives, who just happen to have to also deal with a monster or four.

The story begins with Sheila Bonsaint who is in mourning from her brother’s suicide. She is calling her friend who is reminiscent of Anderson Cooper to look into why her brother John killed himself. She believes it’s because of his contact with a patient named N. The story shifts to John’s perspective describing a patient N who suffers from extreme OCD. N believes his OCD rituals keep the portals between our world and the hell world closed.

N describes how he encountered a field with rocks similar to Stonehenge in Maine and that by viewing the structure, he caused the structure to activate and potentially release an ancient evil that will consume mankind. He begins to do OCD rituals to keep the portal closed, but realizes that he must sacrifice his life in order to shut the gate forever. Unfortunately, John becomes infected by N’s mental disorder and becomes overcome with the need to investigate the structure, which activates it again and causes him to spiral into the same OCD as N.

This story struck a very strong chord with me. Last year, I began to take a long road into facing my own PTSD experiences in the Army. When I would tell the medical professionals in the VA about what happened, one cried. My stories had infected them and left them different afterwards. The world was less clean, less safe, and much darker. Now, like N, if I have to tell a person the stories, I begin by saying that I am sorry because what I will tell you, will change you. I suppose that is what humanity does; we share our burdens and our curses. Maybe that’s how we keep the gate to hell closed?

Sorority Row, Review By Case Wright

Posted on October 1, 2019 by casewright

Horror can make a political statement, it can make you reflect on your status in society, or it can just entertain. The first two types are good, but it’s also nice to just have fun! “Sorority Row” written by Josh Stolberg & Peter Goldfinger and directed by Stewart Hendler is a 1990s throwback. It had a real “I Know What You Did Last Summer” feel to it. Honestly, the reviews are not fair to this film. A lot of people want horror to be all things, but it’s supposed to be fun too. So, just relax and have a good time. Also, it doubled its money, which is what a movie is supposed to do- especially horror. It’s one of the few genres left that can produced by mere mortals.

What I liked mostly about the film was the writing. It had a lot of great humor without it being campy. I’ve gotten to know Josh Stolberg on twitter the script has quite a bit of his personality: clever and quick-witted. I especially enjoyed Jessica (Leah Pipes). As a man who went a Greek dominated college, she was very realistic. Her character and one-liners gave the story a mix of comic relief and reality. I practiced Criminal Law for waaaaay too long and I can tell you that even honest people can turn to something wicked if they feel threatened. People will invariably choose themselves over a possible life ending punishment.

The plot is similar to the original House on Sorority Row: a prank run a muck. The girls belong to Theta Pi and they to love to party, prank, and get murdered. Garrett a brother of the Sister “Chuggs” cheated on Megan another Theta Pi, which is not okay! So, the sisters have her fake an overdose so that Garrett believes he killed Megan. The sisters: Jessica, Ellie, Cassidy, Claire, Megan, and Chugs are all in on the prank are a little too convincing because they make Garrett believe that they need to hide Megan’s body in a mine shaft or their lives will be ruined. The sisters say they have to get rid of the air in Megan’s lungs or she’ll float back up. So, Garrett takes the initiative as a true go-getter and uses a tire iron to stab Megan to death. Jessica decides very quickly that they need to hide Megan’s body for real. When Cassidy refuses to participate, they wrap the corpse in Cassidy’s coat and throw it down the mine shaft. Jessica really thinks fast on her feet.

I don’t know about you, but I think Jessica would be good marriage material. Hear me out: she’s determined, quick-thinking, has a college degree, and is ruthless to protect her goals. Also, Cassidy tried to be all above it, but as Jessica said- “you could’ve called the police, but you didn’t!” Agreed. You don’t get to benefit from something wicked and then look down on everyone else. Jessica made her choice and stuck to it. She made a good point as to protecting everyone’s future and ran with it. Cassidy kept Hamletting over her bad choices. Do it or Don’t. Jessica, don’t listen to the haters.

All seems fine a year later. They’ve all moved on except for Garrett who has become a wreck over his humiliation and accidental murdering. Then, they all receive a threatening group text on their very old timey looking phones- 2009 was just ten years ago and these phones look like museum pieces.

This technology allowed for some extra suspense because reception and tech wasn’t that great then; therefore, the characters can be cutoff from help. I really think horror shouldn’t be set any time after 2009 because it’s just too easy to get help now. This lack of tech added a nice layer of suspense. The text sender stalks and murders them one by one.

The kills were pretty clever: an electrocution, death by chardonnay, tire iron throwing, and a good ol’ fashioned stabbing or three. It also had a fun twist at the end like the 1990s horror films of my youth. I recommend this film. Read my past reviews- I don’t just recommend anything. I’m an iconoclast and can tell you that this was a lot of fun. Happy Horrorthon!

Into the Dark, “Down”, Dir. Daniel Stamm, Review By Case Wright

Posted on October 1, 2019 by casewright

Down

Happy Horrorthon!!!!

Should some people embrace their creative mediocrity? YES! Yes, they should. I don’t mean that what they write or direct is bad. It’s simply unoriginal, predictable, with characters who make obviously bad decisions REPEATEDLY, and still are amazingly fun! I never thought I’d get into Lifetime movies until Lisa got me into them. I discovered how fun Hallmark movies are these past few years. Law & Order embraced its predictability so much that their main sponsor Listerine would break the show down in the Commercials: Body discovery, Wisecrack, Investigation and Arrest, Prosecution, and Verdict. Law & Order lasted 19 years. Case, what’s your point? My point is that mediocrity can be fun…a LOT of fun.

Hulu’s “Into the Dark” series is the fun trash that is great to watch and nothing more (accept for the episodes that are hamfisted, political, and preachy) ; it’s like the Jack in the Box Munchie Meals…yeah, they’ll give you a bit of diarrhea, but come on, sometimes you just gotta have a Sriracha Curly Fry Burger. That’s just science!

“Down” is awesomely bad. The actors mug, the character decisions are stupid, and it’s great for the elliptical or exercise bike and probably safer to watch as you’re burning those last Lbs. The plot is simple and doesn’t try to go into a supernatural direction. It’s fun because it never tries. Jennifer Robbins ( Natalie Martinez) is trapped in an elevator on a holiday weekend with Guy (Matt Luria), BUT is Guy hiding something sinister? Yes…yes, he is and you can tell because he mugs A LOT!

If Lifetime went down the horror route, this would be the premiere. Guy is in fact Jennifer’s stalker and manipulates her into having sex like the Lifetime movies with the Single Moms and the Predator Next Door. Lifetime movies are better than “Down” because with Lifetime movies once the heroine realizes she has to fight; it’s to the death. Here, when Jennifer realizes Guy is a Psycho Killer she doesn’t Run….Run…Away. In fact, he tries to kill her a lot and then she gets the upper hand, but does she finish him off? Nooooope. She fails to deliver the Coup de Gras not once, not twice…no, we’re talking six times here when she could’ve finished the movie and literally had a smoke after the 45 minute mark, but 45 minutes of filler was fine for my physical therapy time.

I know that this reads harsh, but these movies have their place; they’re fun. If the pacing and plot points matched with a Lifetime MOW, it would’ve been that much better, but you can’t have everything, nor should you! Will I review a bunch more of these Into the Dark quasi-episodes? YES, Yes I will!

Happy Horrorthon!

Titans S2Ep1, “Trigon”, Review by Case Wright (Dir. Carol Banker)

Posted on September 6, 2019 by casewright

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Welcome back! This has been a hard year for me in terms of reviewing season two and three shows-

Sabrina 2- garbage

Stranger Things 3- Just so very sad.

And then there was Titans. I was prepared for a sophomore slump like I had seen all year with my favorite shows and ….. it NEVER happened. Season 2 Episode 1 was like a new pilot of my most beloved show. It had family murder, a quasi Lucifer, and an introduction of Death Stroke, Bruce Wayne, a new Titans Headquarters, and a cure for male pattern baldness!

The episode picked up where it left off with Dick turned into an evil minion and the rest of the gang trying to help. Hawk and Dove go to Jason Todd and they all descend upon the EVIL Farmhouse …. and are invited in or are they? Trigon (Seamus Dever) is up to his old tricks of temptation, manipulation, and pagination – he’s really into orderly manuscripts; it can’t be all about world destruction.

The Titans fall one by one. Jason Todd is manipulated to kill his “older brother” Dick, Starfire is tricked into killing Rachel, Hank gets Dawn hooked on smack… yes smack…horse…the dragon…the boy…the beast…H…or dope. You even see the needle enter her arm and shoot it up. I’m not sure whether this show or Breaking Bad is darker? Maybe I need to watch something lighter like Disneyland being hit by a meteor or all the unicorns dying to Adiago For Strings. But, man oh man it is enthralling!!! I know that DCU is yet another subscription service, BUT it is worth every single penny to me! *Views expressed do not represent this blog, but are always correct. *

Once everyone is turned and Gar is nearly beaten to death by the now Evil Titans, Raven’s heart breaks allowing Trigon to fulfill his prophecy and start some earth destroying. He reaches into his daughter’s chest, crushes her beating heart, turns it into a ruby, and puts the stone on her forehead….and I thought my childhood Thanksgivings were awkward…HIYOOO! Then, Trigon goes full-on Lucifer, which almost made this a Horrorthon post.

Gar wakes and breaks Raven free of the curse and she kills/banishes her father. EPIC… JUST EPIC! Anywho, once the dust settles, we get introduced to our new villain Death Stroke (who apparently hates Jason Todd; I don’t know why because he really grows on you) and Bruce Wayne. This was a really good portrayal of an older aging Bruce- from father to Dick’s peer. The episode ends with the Titans in San Francisco in their familiar HQ to the fans of the animated series.

This show succeeded in so many ways. It’s deliciously 99% Cacao Dark. It has great action, great dialogue, heart wrenching failure and redemption. The performances, as always, were superb across the board. I will say that Jason Todd (Curran Walters) should get a spinoff of the Red Hood. He would be an amazing Anti-Hero and a clever take on a Batman like hero without ANY rules. Ahem Greg….Ahem! See you in a week!

Ready or Not, Review by Case Wright (Dirs. Matt Bettinelli and Tyler Gillett)

Posted on August 24, 2019 by casewright

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The will to survive is a strange thing. Why do some people give up their wallet or purse to a mugger freely and others snap and fight to the death? Back in the days when I could jog, I was in Central Park early on a Sunday and a mugger tried to take my little POS MP3 player. I could’ve done the smart thing and given it up, but something just clicked and I started punching and punching. His face was total shock and he wandered off. He wasn’t threatening my life, but it didn’t matter if he were, I would’ve acted the same. And Yes, my 93 tracks ranging from Springsteen to Modest Mouse remain safe to this day. Ready or Not tests whether Grace (Samara Weaving) has the will to survive and she didn’t even have an ipod to protect.

The people hunting people is almost a sub-genre, but this movie had style. It’s got horrible and quasi-incompetent murderers, a tough but vulnerable heroine, and lots and lots of BLOOD!

Grace is set to marry into a family of rich asshats who treat her like garbage. Well, except for Daniel (Adam Brody) the brother of Alex – the groom to be. Daniel thinks she should leave because she’s too good for his worthless family. Daniel has a point. The aunt is a mean spirited jerk and all of the people who enter the family are pretty desperate in one way or the other, making them agreeable to participate in their lethal affairs.

Grace decides to marry Alex anyway even though the family’s shitty personalities are on full-display. The honeymoon begins and Grace must choose a card because she is entering the family. A creepy box has a playing card and determines which card; sometimes the game is Chess, Checkers, or Hide and Seek. If Hide and Seek is chosen, the family will hunt the new entrant to the family and sacrifice him or her to Satan- In-Laws … Am I Right?!!!

Grace picks hide and seek and the game is a foot….dun dun dun! This kicks off a lot of suspense and humor as Grace fights her in-laws to the death. Grace asks her new husband Daniel why he didn’t warn her that his family is a bunch psycho killers? His response: You would’ve left me. Daniel, you suck! We all hate you Daniel…A LOT!

The family hunts Grace all over the estate and she gets hurt and screams….and Screams…AND SCREAMS! Samara Weaving’s screams are THE BEST EVER. They are a mixture of gutteral staccato and high pitched terror and they are legit real. All other scream queens before her must hail the new Queen. Here is an example of Samara’s amazing scream queen skills:

RIGHT?!!!! She’s is legit awesome – a throwback and beyond to the glory days of horror. She’s a mix of vulnerable and badass, cunning and funny, basically she rocks this entire movie! Everyone should go see this movie tonight!

Yes, this review is a little brief, but I don’t want to spoil too much. Enjoy!