Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, the cast of PacificBlue gets outacted.
Episode 2.9 “Genuine Heroes”
(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on October 20th, 1996)
PacificBlue makes an unforgivable mistake in this episode by giving a plum guest-starring role to Charles Napier. When your show is populated by boring regular characters and actors who are distinguished by their almost total lack of screen charisma, the last thing you want to do is bring in a certifiable badass character actor like Charles Napier. If Lt. Palermo and the bicycle crew seem charmless during a normal episode, just imagine how much worse they look when compared to Napier.
Napier plays Tyrone Justice, a Texas bounty hunter who has come to Santa Monica to track down a bank robber and his girlfriend. The members of the bike patrol are like, “We’re not going to let you cause any trouble down here,” and it’s kind of hard not to smirk because Tyrone Justice is Charles Freaking Napier. He wears a leather jacket and carries a shotgun. The bike patrol wears shorts and those stupid plastic helmets and spends all of their time riding their bicycles. Like, seriously, shut up, bike patrol.
Meanwhile, VJTV (which I guess is the show’s version of MTV) is shooting on the beach for spring break. Del Toro has a crush on VJTV personality Ginger Delvecchio (Angelica Bridges). Cory rolls her eyes whenever Del Toro sees Delvecchio, complaining that Delvecchio’s career is due solely to her sex appeal and how she looks in a bikini. (This argument perhaps would have worked better if delivered on a show that didn’t open every episode with stock footage of women in bikinis.) Cory complaining feels out of character. Usually, Kelly is the member of the bike patrol who is written to be an annoying straw feminist. At the end of the episode, Ginger leaves VJTV for a show that is obviously meant to be Baywatch. Seeing as how PacificBlue itself is an obvious rip-off of Baywatch, all of the smirks and sighs feel a bit hypocritical.
Anyway, this episode was pretty dumb. It’s impossible to take people who ride bicycles seriously. When the bike patrol arrested Charles Napier, I had to laugh. There’s no way Charles Napier would ever surrender to some douchebag on a bicycle.
Andre Braugher is one of those actors that just makes everything better. Taken from us way too soon, Braugher passed away back in 2023 at just 61 years of age. You get the feeling that he still had some great work left in him…
Happy Birthday in cinema heaven, Andre! Thanks for all the amazing work! Enjoy this scene between Andre Braugher and Dennis Quaid in one of my all-time favorite movies, FREQUENCY.
During the Vietnam War, an American patrol is captured by a German (Vernon Welles) who plans to sell them to the VC. Only their commanding officer, Lt. Vance Calhoun (Brad Johnson), manages to get away. When he’s told the the Army can’t spare any men for a POW rescue mission, he instead recruits a group of Hell’s Angels who just happen to be hanging out in Vietnam. When the Hell’s Angels learn that there’s gold hidden in the caves near the POW camp, they hop on their motorcycles and heard on out.
You might wonder why the Hell’s Angels were in South Vietnam to begin with. The easy answer is that they were there to raise Hell and spread the legend of their motorcycle club. The truth is that they were there to win the war for America. Like many Vietnam films released in the 80s, the main message of Nam Angels is that America could have won if not for the cowardly officers who weren’t willing to rescue our POWs. America should have listened to Vance Calhoun and the Hell’s Angels. Meanwhile, the real-life Hell’s Angels sued the filmmakers for trademark infringement. It doesn’t get more American that!
As for NamAngels, it has all of the explosions and motorcycles that are promised by the title and, as always, Vernon Wells is a good villain. Considering the premise, it’s disappointing that NamAngels proves itself to be a typical straight-to-video war movie but it still features all of the action, torture, and tough talk the fans usually want from these movies. It ends with a quote from John Milton that doesn’t really have anything to do with the film that we just watched.
This was one of the 104 films that Cirio Santiago directed over his career. Reportedly, Steven Spielberg was a fan of this one, casting Brad Johnson in Always on the basis of his performance in NamAngels. Make good movies because you never know who might be watching.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week …. oh no!
Episode 6.21 “Remember When”
(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 7th, 1983)
After crashing his little car, Tattoo ends up in the Fantasy Island hospital. Roarke cancels all of the weekend’s fantasies so that he can stay by Tattoo’s side and keep Tattoo cheerful until it’s time for him to have life-saving surgery. Roarke and Tattoo share memories and …. YEP, IT’S A CLIP SHOW!
Actually, for a clip show, it’s not that bad. Yes, there’s a lot of awkward dialogue. “Boss, remember that time Mickey Gilley opened up his place?” That said, the clips are well-selected and they all feature Herve Villechaize at his best, turning this episode into a Tattoo tribute. At the end of the episode, Tattoo says that he’s never going to leave Fantasy Island. Which …. well, we’ll get to season 7 in a few weeks.
Anyway, clip shows are pretty much impossible to review. Let’s just be happy that Tattoo pulls through. That accident looked serious!
The great actress Karen Black would have been 86 years old today.
Karen Black does not receive a lot of screentime in Nashville but she definitely makes an impression as the driven, self-centered, and oddly likeable Connie White. (“She can’t even comb her hair” — Connie White on Julie Chrisite.) Here she is, performing one of the songs that she wrote herself for the film. The audience was largely made up of actual Nashville residents, who reportedly very much appreciated Black’s performance.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
90 years ago today, Sydney Pollack was born in Indiana. Though Pollack got his start as an actor, he soon moved into directing and was one of the key television directors of the 1960s. He eventually branched out into film, making a name for himself as a director of intelligent and sensitive comedies and dramas. Though he only directed 21 films over the course of his career, his films received a total of 48 Oscar nominations and 11 wins. 1982’s Tootsie and 1985’s Out of Africa were both nominated for Best Picture. Out of Africa won. Pollack also returned to acting in the 90s, making a name for himself as a skilled character actor. I’ll always remember him from Eyes Wide Shut, intimidating Tom Cruise while playing pool.
In memory of Sydney Pollack, here are….
4 Shots From 4 Sydney Pollack Films
Jeremiah Johnson (1972, dir by Sydney Pollack, DP: Duke Callaghan)
The Yakuza (1974, dir by Sydney Pollack, DP: Duke Callaghan and Kozo Okazaki)
Three Days of Condor (1975, dir by Sydney Pollack, DP: Owen Roizman)
Out of Africa (1985, dir by Sydney Pollack, DP: David Watkins)
Last year I reviewed the 2009 documentary, THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA, which focused on Jesco White and the out of control White family from Boone County, West Virginia. Today, I’m going back to the original 1991 documentary, DANCING OUTLAW that first introduced us to Jesco and his family. Directed by Jacob Young and premiering as part of the PBS “Different Drummer” documentary series, this program would go on to win a 1992 Emmy Award, as well as a 1993 American Film Institute Award for “Best Documentary.” It would also turn Jesco into a celebrity and pop culture figure in West Virginia. This amazing documentary is currently available on YOUTUBE, and I highly recommend it to any person who’s interested in seeing what poverty and unchecked drug and alcohol abuse will do to the human brain.
DANCING OUTLAW is where we first meet Jesco White, an amazingly talented mountain tap dancer, who has multiple personalities and a never ending love and respect for his dad, who gave him his talent and his dancing shoes, if not necessarily an outspoken love. The documentary is smart enough to show us Jesco performing on multiple occasions, thus establishing that Jesco is a truly talented and unique dancer. The multiple personalities seem to come from years of huffing gasoline and lighter fluid that has destroyed his brain. Despite his talent, we are able to observe that Jesco is completely lost as a human being, based on his own words that he willingly shares with us, as well as what we learn from others.
We meet Jesco’s mom Bertie Mae White, the miracle woman, for the first time in DANCING OUTLAW. One of the more emotional parts of THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA was the fact that Bertie Mae passed away during the year the film was made. Here, however, we meet Bertie Mae almost 20 years earlier and get a better feel for what she was like as a younger, healthier woman. We find out how proud she is of her husband Donald “D.” Ray White. We also see that she’s fiercely protective of her kids, and that they love her, even if she can’t control them. I’ve said before that I can see some of my own Grandma Crain in Bertie Mae.
We also meet Jesco’s wife, Norma Jean White. This is not a match made in heaven, as they fight non-stop, with Jesco usually threatening to kill her at some point. Bertie Mae makes it clear that nobody in their family wanted them to get married, yet here they are anyway… married, divorced, married again. Norma Jean tells us some interesting stuff about Jesco, mainly filling us in on his three distinct personalities:
Jessie – She says Jessie is the most beautiful, perfect man you could ever ask for.
Jesco – She says Jesco is the devil himself.
Elvis – She says she has to be silent and just enjoy Elvis. Jesco comments that the Elvis side of his personality is what calms him down and keeps him from wanting to kill everyone else in the world.
I think there’s something to West Virginians and multiple personalities. My wife is from West Virginia, has the last name of White, and often references her different personalities. Luckily, the ones I’ve met so far are pretty nice! On a side note, I’m not sure what became of Norma Jean because she’s never referenced in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. Based on all of their arguing, I’m hoping they just got divorced, and I pray that she’s not buried somewhere out there in a holler! (Author update – Jesco was married to Norma Jean up until her death in 2009).
One of the more interesting parts of the documentary is when Jesco, Norma Jean, and Jesco’s brother Dorsey tell us about the night their dad, D. Ray White, was killed. Prior to telling us the events that led to his death, we’re treated to some video footage of D. Ray singing and performing his 52 mountain tap dancing steps. He was a truly amazing performer, and you can’t help but think that Jesco will never be quite as good as his dad. However, the events that led to his death can easily be summed up as follows: all kinds of people were partying together, which means abusing alcohol and drugs, when a fight started, and a person out of their right mind blew him away. It’s a sad waste, but it’s also a natural result of a family and community that’s deep into poverty, drugs and alcohol. Not only do we see how profoundly this affects Bertie Mae, Jesco and the rest of the family in this documentary, but we can also see the aftermath of his death, and the unbroken circles of drug use and violence again in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. It’s ultimately both sad and pathetic.
In DANCING OUTLAW, we first meet Jesco’s sister Mamie, as well as his brothers Poney and Dorsey. The only thing I want to say about these three is that we’re updated on each of them in THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA. The passage of time hasn’t been real kind to Mamie, as she’s gone from a pretty, wild, fun-loving woman to a scary, unstable woman who will do anything, including illegal things, to make money. Dorsey is dead from an accidental shooting, and Poney has proven to be the smartest of the bunch by taking his kids and moving to Minnesota for a fresh start. At least there’s one success story since he was able to get away.
At the end of the day, the documentary just kind of ends where it began, with Jesco and Norma Jean sitting at their trailer and arguing. There really is no “happy” way to end a movie about people like Jesco White and his family. I follow a lot of Jesco’s family members on social media, and I think the notoriety they have received from these documentaries has done nothing but make things worse for them. They are almost all struggling with the effects of poverty and drug abuse to this day. In some ways, these people don’t seem real, but the truth is that they are real, and that we know people like them in our own lives. Heck, we may be people like them. Our issues may not be the same, but our lives often contain unbroken cycles of making the same mistakes over and over again and then wondering why we can’t be happy. If nothing else, watching the slow-motion train wreck of another person’s life can hopefully inspire us to get our own shit together!
I’ve included the YouTube link to the DANCING OUTLAW below if you want to see for yourself!
I’m happy to see Edgar Wright back making movies. It’s been a while since 2021’s Last Night in Soho, and this time around, he’s remaking 1987’s The Running Man. Based off the story by Stephen King, Ben Richards (Glen Powell, Twisters, Hit Man) is a man who needs some help, living in the slums with his wife (Jayme Lawson, Sinners, The Batman) and child. To earn a high stakes reward, he joins The Running Man, a tv show that puts him in the spotlight for 30 days while everyone hunts him down. Should he survive, his family will be set. The movie looks like it has a good cast, with Colman Domingo (Sing Sing) and Josh Brolin (Dune) also in the mix. Admittedly, I’m curious of what the soundtrack to this will be like, given Wright’s flair for pairing scenes with music.
The Running Man will be in theatres this November.
Through the Shattered Lens 