Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.9 and 3.10 “Drive, Lady, Drive”

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, it’s a special two-hour episode of CHiPs!

Episodes 3.9 and 3.10 “Drive, Lady, Drive”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 10, 1979)

The police at nearby Palma Vista are on strike and the state of California has agreed to allow some members of the Highway Patrol to patrol the town until the strike is over. Getraer assigns Baker, Ponch, Bear, and some new guy named Lenny (Leon Isaac Kennedy) to head over to the town, Baker is named the OIC, which I eventually figured out stood for “Officer in Charge.” Getraer knows better than to give the job to Ponch.

Ponch, by the way, is back! After being absent for two episodes due to Erik Estrada actually injuring himself in a motorcycle crash, Ponch returns in this episode and he goes through the entire episode with this huge grin on his face as if he’s saying, “You know you missed me.” Ponch’s return means that Baker is once again relegated to being the strong, silent partner who doesn’t really get to do anything. In fact, Baker crashes his motorcycle early on in this episode, as if the show was trying to tell us, “See? It could happen to anyone!”

The striking cops accuse Baker, Ponch, Bear, and Lenny of being scabs and strike breakers. I’m not really a fan of public sector unions. (When it comes to the police striking, my hero is Calvin Coolidge, who came to fame when he broke up a policeman’s strike in Massachusetts.) Still, it felt strange to watch the show’s heroes cross that picket line. That would definitely not happen on television today.

There’s a lot going on in Palma Vista. There’s some rich kids who keep joyriding in a dune buggy and who think they can escape prosecution by crossing the city limits. (Joke’s on them! The Highway Patrol has jurisdiction everywhere!) There’s some truck hijackers who are setting up a headquarters in town. There’s an angry city councilman (Michael Conrad) who doesn’t feel his children should be held accountable for their actions.

That said, the majority of this two-hour episode centered on a stock car race and one of the racers, Candi Wright (Kelly Harmon). Will Candi win the big race or will she lose to her friendly rival (and possible future romantic partner) Don Croyden (Jordan Clarke)? Will Ponch be able to both date her and do his job? And most importantly, will she be able to adopt a traumatized little girl (played by Tracey Gold) who Candi discovered outside of a burning house? That’s a lot of storylines for someone who wasn’t even a regular cast member and a part of me wonders if maybe this episode was meant to be a secret pilot for a Candi Wright television series. It would explain a lot.

This really was a basic episode of CHiPs, with the only real difference being that it was two-hours long for some reason. A lot of what happened in the episode, especially the racing footage, felt like filler. There was really no need for this to be a double-sized episode. It also doesn’t help that, as opposed to the lovely Los Angeles scenery that we usually see, this episode took place in a rather ugly town. There was some appropriately spectacular crashes but, in the end, this episode ran too long and felt a bit pointless. Get the Highway Patrol back on the highways!

14 Days of Paranoia #3: The Lincoln Conspiracy (dir by James L. Conway)

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When it comes to conspiracy theories involving presidential assassinations, the theories surrounding JFK may get all the attention but it’s the theories surrounding the death of Abraham Lincoln are usually far more plausible.

Unless, of course, it’s the theories that are pushed in the 1977 docudrama, The Lincoln Conspiracy.

A mix of documentary-style narration and really cheap-looking historical reenactments, The Lincoln Conspiracy essentially indicts almost everyone who was alive in 1865 as being a part of either the conspiracy or the subsequent cover-up. Really, it’s remarkable how many historical figures are implicated in this film.

With the Civil War coming to a close, President Lincoln (John Anderson) hopes to pursue a generous reconstruction policy for the former Confederate States. Secretary of War Edwin Stanton (Robert Middleton), Senator Ben Wade (Dick Callinan), and a host of other are all opposed to this plan, both because they want vengeance and they also want to make as much money as possible off of the Southern cotton fields. They come up with a plan to impeach Lincoln but, in order to draw up the articles, they have to make sure that Lincoln is not seen for a few days. When Col. Lafayette Baker (John Dehner) discovers that an actor named John Wilkes Booth (Bradford Dillman) is planning on kidnapping Lincoln, Stanton and his conspirators decide to give Booth their unofficial support. However, when the plan changes at the last minute and Stanton decides that it would actually be a bad idea to kidnap Lincoln, an angry Booth decides to just kill Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, and William Seward.

Booth succeeds in shooting Lincoln and making his escape. The other members of Booth’s group all fail in their assignments. Andrew Johnson becomes president. Though grievously wounded, William Seward survives. Booth flees to Canada and …. oh, you thought Booth died? No, that was just a look alike who was shot by a bizarre soldier named Boston Corbett. By allowing everyone to believe that Booth was killed, Stanton is able to cover up any role he and his allies played in inspiring the assassination. Unfortunately, Col. Baker keeps a diary and it seems like he might be planning on revealing the truth but he dies mysteriously before he can.

(And, to give the film some credit, Col. Baker’s sudden death at 41 was an odd one. And, though it’s not really explored in the film, Boston Corbett, the man who shoot Booth, really was a weirdo who was described by contemporaries as being a religious fanatic who castrated himself and claimed to hear the voice of God.)

It’s a big conspiracy theory that is presented in The Lincoln Conspiracy. In fact, it’s a bit too big to really be taken seriously. The film pretty much accuses everyone in Washington of having a part in the assassination. The film itself has the cheap look of a community theater production and the use of Dr. Samuel Mudd as a narrator only adds to the film’s silliness. If you’re a fan of gigantic and thoroughly implausible conspiracy theories, as I am, the film is entertaining in its way. If nothing else, Bradford Dillman certainly looks like how most people probably imagine John Wilkes Booth to have looked. Otherwise, The Lincoln Conspiracy is far-fetched and not at all realistic, which is why I assume that a lot of people in 1977 probably believed every word of it.

Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:

Tennessee’s Partner (1955, directed by Allan Dwan)

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Tennesse (John Payne) is an old west gambler who co-owns a saloon (and bordello) with Elizabeth Farnham (Rhonda Fleming). When Tennessee is ambushed after a poker game, he’s saved by a local man who goes by the name of Cowpoke (Ronald Reagan). Tennessee and Cowpoke become fast friends but when Tennessee realizes that Cowpoke is about to marry a golddigger (Coleen Gray), Tennessee puts the woman on the next boat out of town. Cowpoke vows to get vengeance but Tennessee has bigger things to worry about. Rival businessman Turner (Tony Caruso) has framed Tennessee for the murder of a local prospector, Grubstake McNiven (Chubby Johnson).

Very loosely based on a short story by Bret Harte, Tennessee’s Partner has surprisingly high production values for a B-western. Director Allan Dwan started his career in the 1910s and directed over 200 westerns. He knew how to keep the action moving. Tennessee’s Partner is also the only film that old friends John Payne and Ronald Reagan made together. Reagan, whose days as a major studio leading man had ended by the time he made this film, gives one of his better performances in the role of the simple but honest Cowpoke and shows the likability that he was later able to translate into a political career. Reagan could be a stiff actor but his naturally amiable manner made him perfect for best friend and sidekick roles, like in this movie. Payne also gives a good performance as the gambler with a moral code. However, the best thing about the film is Rhonda Fleming, giving a tough and sexy performance as Elizabeth. Because this film came out in 1955, it couldn’t really come out and say that Elizabeth was a madam and the saloon was a bordello but Fleming’s performance and a few lines of innuendo left little doubt about what was actually going on upstairs from the bar. Keep an eye out for Angie Dickinson, playing one of Elizabeth’s girls.

The performance elevate Tennessee’s Partner, making it a B-western that can be enjoyed even by people who aren’t necessarily into westerns.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.18 “Lend Me An Ear”

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs are both spectacularly bad at their jobs.

Episode 3.18 “Lend Me An Ear”

(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on February 27th, 1987)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice centers around Steve Duddy (John Glover), an eccentric former cop-turned-surveillance expert. When the Vice Squad has trouble bugging the home and phone lines of a mysterious Greek criminal named Alexander Dykstra (Yorgo Voyagis), Crockett and Tubbs approach Duddy for help. Little do they know that Dubby is also on Dykstra’s payroll. Duddy sells them the bugs that they plant in Dykstra’s home. Then Dykstra calls Duddy and Duddy removes them. Dykstra doesn’t know that Duddy works for the cops and the cops don’t know that Duddy works for Dykstra.

It sounds like a pretty good deal for Steve Duddy, no? But when Duddy witnesses Dykstra commit a murder that was caused by Dykstra using one of Duddy’s voice analyzers to discover whether or not her girlfriend was lying about cheating on him, Duddy decides to try to take down Duddy. First, he calls the homicide department and, using a device to disguise his voice, he reports that Dykstra just killed someone. When that doesn’t work, he splices together some recordings to make it appear as if Dykstra is setting up a crime. When that doesn’t work and Dykstra decides to take out Duddy, Duddy just kills Dykstra and his men. Crockett and Tubbs arrest him, charging him with interfering with an investigation. The charges are ultimately dropped but, when Duddy returns to his home, he finds a video message from Crockett. “I’ll be watching you!” Crockett says.

This was a strange episode, if just because the main theme seemed to be that the members of the Vice Squad weren’t that smart. Not only were they repeatedly fooled by Duddy but also Dykstra as well. Really, anyone with as much experience as Crockett and Tubbs should have been able to figure out what Duddy was doing. Duddy’s reaction when he heard the 9-11 call (“Sounds like someone’s altering their voice!” Duddy says) should have been a dead giveaway that Duddy knew more than he was telling. And yet, somehow, Crockett and Tubbs didn’t figure out anything strange was happening until the episode was nearly over.

Dykstra, incidentally, was not a drug dealer. He was a money launderer and he really didn’t make much of an effort to hide that fact. I figure it out pretty quickly. But, again, it took Crockett and Tubbs nearly the entire episode to figure out what Dykstra’s business actually was. Crockett and Tubbs just had a really off-week with this episode.

On the plus, John Glover was memorably odd as Duddy. Up until he discovers Dykstra is a murderer, Duddy is having the time of his life playing both sides against each other and it’s actually kind of entertaining to watch. Apparently, this was Duddy’s only appearance on Miami Vice. That’s a shame because his character definitely had potential.

Next week: Viggo Mortensen, Annette Bening, and Lou Diamond Phillips all stop by Miami!

Song of the Day: Hail to the Chief, performed by The Eric Rogers and Chorale Orchestra

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Happy Presidents Day!

The melody of Hail to the Chief is based on a Scottish song about a boat captain. The Americanized version debuted in 1815 and has since been used to announce the arrival of the President.

Jimmy Carter didn’t like the song and ordered that it not be played during his presidency. I guess that’s why he was a one-termer.

Hail to the chiefWe have chosen for the nationHail to the chiefWe salute him one and allHail to the chiefAs we pledge cooperationIn proud fulfillmentOf a great noble callYours is the aimTo make this grand country granderThis you will doThat’s our strong firm beliefHail to the oneWe selected as commanderHail to the presidentHail to the chiefHail to the chiefWe have chosen for the nationHail to the chiefWe salute him one and allHail to the chiefAs we pledge cooperationIn proud fulfillmentOf a great noble call

Songwriters: James Sanderson / Douglas R. Stevens

So, I Watched Sidelined: The QB and Me (2024, Dir. by Justin Wu)

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Drayton Lahey (Noah Beck) is a high school quarterback who is being pressured by his father (James Van Der Beek) to accept a football scholarship to “Waco.” (I guess that’s supposed to be Baylor.) Drayton has the talent to turn pro and he’ll be a starter if he goes to Waco, despite being only a freshman. (Maybe it isn’t Baylor. Baylor football coaches aren’t that dumb.) But Drayton likes a cheerleader named Dallas Bryan (Sienna Agudong), who is the sister of his coach (Drew Ray Tanner) and who wants to go to California after she graduates so that she can pursue her dream of being a professional dancer.

It’s a slickly-made high school football movie and, even worse, it’s a Wattpad movie so there’s no surprises to be found here. I was able to predict every line of dialogue before the characters said it. The plot was old-fashioned but the actors said stuff like, “I’m tired of your main character energy,” just to make sure that we all knew the movie was made in 2024. I was a cheerleader in high school but no one on our football team was offered a scholarship anywhere. I could still relate to some parts of the movie, though. It was always awkward after the games when the parents would yell at the players because they dropped a pass or threw an interception. Even our bad players were put under a lot of pressure and, as cheerleaders, a big part of our job was to make everyone felt like a winner even when they were losing. We were good at our job but, by the end of the year, we still had a losing season and no scholarships.

Sienna Agudong was believable in the lead role but I had a hard time buying TikTok star Noah Beck as a quarterback with the talent to be a freshman starter or to even go pro. The big “star” in this movie was James Van Der Beek, playing the type of humorless father figure that he used to rebel against in his teen idol days. If you can remember Dawson standing in that rowboat, this movie will make you feel old.

#MondayMuggers presents FLIGHT 7500 (2014) starring Leslie Bibb, Ryan Kwanten, and Amy Smart!

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday February 17th, we’re watching FLIGHT 7500 starring Leslie Bibb, Ryan Kwanten, Amy Smart, Jamie Chung, Nicky Whelan, and Johnathon Schaech.

FLIGHT 7500 is the story about an airplane that departs the Los Angeles International Airport bound for Tokyo. As the overnight flight makes its way over the Pacific Ocean during its ten-hour course, the passengers encounter what appears to be a supernatural force in the cabin!

Although FLIGHT 7500 was chosen by Sierra, I’m looking forward to watching it for the first time for several reasons:

I’ve always liked Ryan Kwanten as an actor. I first discovered him on the HBO series TRUE BLOOD, and I’ve just always enjoyed seeing him in anything since. And here he plays a character named “Brad” so I’m hoping that he turns out to be a brave hero.
Nicky Whelan from HALL PASS (2011) is in this film. HALL PASS is one of those movies that cracks me up, and I thought Nicky was especially good in it.
Director Takashi Shimizu has made some creepy films in the past, like films in the “JU-ON: THE GRUDGE” series and the regular old “THE GRUDGE” series. The guy seems to have a grudge so I’m looking forward to seeing how it plays out in FLIGHT 7500.
I think the plot sounds interesting, so we could be in for a scary good time!

So, join us tonight for #MondayMuggers and watch FLIGHT 7500! It’s on Amazon Prime.

I’ve included the trailer for FLIGHT 7500 below:

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us for America 3000!

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1986’s America 3000!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up America 3000 on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!

Enjoy!

Scenes That I Love: Elvis and JFK in Bubba Ho-Tep

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is both President’s Day and Don Coscarelli’s birthday! As such, it only seems appropriate that today’s scene of the day should come from Coscarelli’s 2002 film, Bubba Ho-Tep.

In this film, Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and John F. Kennedy (Ossie Davis) team up to battle the killer Mummy that is haunting their nursing home. Personally, I choose to believe that both Elvis and JFK were exactly who they said they were in this film.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Alejandro Jodorowsky Edition

Posted on February 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to master of surrealism and the man who nearly turned Dune into a film before either David Lynch or Denis Villeneuve, Alejandro Jodorowsky! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Alejandro Jodorowsky Films