Monthly Archives: January 2024

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/21/24 — 1/27/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!

Acting Sheriff (YouTube)

I wrote about Acting Sheriff here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

A new season of The Bachelor started this week.  After skipping the previous few installments of this franchise, I did watch the first episode of the latest season.  The new bachelor is kind of dull but I enjoyed seeing the mansion and all of the clothes.  Jesse is kind of a boring host.  The Bachelor hasn’t been fun since Chris Harrison was fired for upsetting the online horde.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out may be an hour or two late this week.  It’s been a busy day.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which the Cutlers talked to a woman who was accused of cheating on her fiancée with her husband.  What?  Yes, it was confusing and silly and the fact that the fiancée had a high-pitched, cartoon character voice did not help matters.  This was one of those episodes where they brought in the “voice analysist” to determine who was lying.  Considering that everyone on the show had a terrible voice, I did not envy the analysist.  That said, I also have a hard time understanding how voice analysis can be used in the place of a polygraph.  Anyway, no one was cheating according to their voices.

I followed this up with an episode in which a husband accused his wife of cheating because of muddy footprints that he found in his home.  The wife was not cheating and the husband was a bit of a paranoid freak.

Later, I watched an episode in which a man felt that his wife was cheating on him because she was no longer wearing sexy underwear around him, despite the fact that he kept finding brand new thongs in the laundry.  The lie detector indicated that she was indeed cheating.  The wife, at one point, said that she felt like she was “starring in a romantic comedy with Will Smith.”

Then, tonight, I watched an episode in which a woman thought her much older husband was cheating on her with her best friend because she found her friend in their bed.  Fortunately, it turned out that the husband was faithful and the best friend was just a blackout drunk.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Extended Family (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I had no interest in watching this show but I was watching Peacock on Wednesday night and I was too lazy to switch to another streaming service when the show automatically started.  Jon Cryer plays a divorced father in Boston who is still friends with his ex-wife and her new fiancé.  Why is everything always set in Boston?  Seriously, who care about freaking Boston?

Anyway, I was so lazy that I ended up watching the first two episodes and they were both pretty dire.  The “created by Mike O’Malley” credit card explained why.  Cryer, our beloved Duckie, is even more pathetic here than he was as wimpy Alan on Two and a Half Men.  (Disclaimer: I think I’ve seen like five episodes of Two and A Half Men, maybe six.)  It’s sad to think that NBC has gone from The Office to Night Court/Extended Family.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

I was so happy Ryan won!  This was one of Hell’s Kitchen’s best seasons.  While Big Brother, Survivor, and even The Amazing Race have struggled to remain relevant in our new, post-COVID age, Hell’s Kitchen succeeds by not messing with what works.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Judge Dad (YouTube)

I watched two episodes of this courtroom show on Monday.  The very slow-talking judge heard a case about a woman who wanted another woman to pay for her $900 Prada dress.  The second case involved a woman who felt that her ex owed her some sort of compensation for giving her COVID.  The second case bothered me because the judge’s ruling didn’t seem to follow any sort of legal precedent.  I then noticed a disclaimer that stated that 1) Judge Dad was not a legal expert but just some guy making his own decisions and 2) the litigants were actors and the cases were all fictional.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which a tenant sued her landlord for setting up spy cameras in her apartment and “recording me in my lingerie.”  Judge Dad was particularly upset by this case.  “I feel like you are my daughter!” he thundered, “You must make better decision about where you live!”  The landlord was really, really sleazy and disgusting but again, the whole thing was fictional so …. yeah.

Judge Mom (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched an episode of Judge Dad‘s companion series, Judge Mom.  A young comic book artist accused an older artist of stealing his ideas.  Judge Mom found in favor of the younger artist.  Just as with Judge Dad, the episode ended with a disclaimed that “Judge Mom is not a legal expert” and the case was fictional.  The acting on Judge Mom was far less convincing than the acting on Judge Dad.

It was just bad enough that I had to watch a second episode.  This one featured a set of parents suing a little league team for “firing” their son from the team.  Judge Mom was offended by how petty all of the adults were.  Little league is supposed to be about the kids!  You tell ’em, Judge Mom!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

It’s weird.  This is a badly conceived show that rarely even makes me smile and yet it’s something that I find myself watching on Peacock whenever I’m bored and I don’t have time to watch anything that runs longer than 21 minutes.  I don’t know why this is, because I really don’t care much for the show and it’s only gotten worse in its second season.  I think the problem is that Abby Stone is way too naive to be a judge and her nonstop enthusiasm can be a bit hard to take.  For instance, this week’s episode featured her still trying to get over breaking up with her boyfriend and obsessing over her inability to get a date.  That story had comedic potential but seriously, Abby’s a judge.  IN NEW YORK CITY!  Toughen up!

Paternity Court (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday.  Fortunately, the former army officer who had just returned from deployment was the father.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.7 “The Deprogramming of Arnold Horshack”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

To the shock of no one, Horshack joins a cult.

Episode 3.7 “The Deprogramming of Arnold Horshack”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on October 13th, 1977)

At the apartment, Julie thanks Gabe for not telling her any stories about his family.  Gabe responds by telling her about his Cousin Lester, who was really dumb and drove a train.

But enough jokes!  There are serious issues afoot at Buchanan High!  Horshack has not been coming to class and the Sweathogs have not seen him around.  Gabe suggests that the problem might be that the other Sweathogs are always making fun of Arnold.  However, Horshack proves Gabe wrong by showing up for class in a sarong and carrying flowers and a tambourine.

Arnold Horshack is now a follower of  the mystic Baa Baa Bee Bee and he requests to be called by his new name, Abdul Kareem Hassan.  (I assume that Horshack is meant to be a Hare Krishna but the name of Horshack’s new cult is never actually mentioned on the show.)  At first, everyone is amused but when Hassan announces that he is going to drops out of school and follow Baa Bee around the world, the Sweathogs drag him into the boy’s bathroom and attempt to deprogram him through physical intimidation.  When Gabe catches them, he tells them that this is Horshack’s decision to make.  He does this despite having earlier gotten a rather desperate visit, at the apartment, from Horshack’s mother (played by Ellen Travolta, John’s older sister who did a passable imitation of Horshack’s signature laugh.).

(Julie, while talking to Gabe about Horshacks, mentions that she joined a cult in Nebraska but was asked to leave.  Is anyone surprised?)

At school, Abdul Kareem Hassan says his farewells and he leaves.  But, a few minutes later, he returns as Arnold Horshack and says that he’s changed his mind.  And I guess that’s the end of that.

This episode is the type of thing that the first season of the show would have handled really well.  The first season was all about the Sweathogs trying to figure out what they wanted from life and Gabe encouraging them to explore what they believed and what they wanted.  If this occurred during the first season, Gabe would have seriously talked to Horshack about why he felt like he had to join a cult to find acceptance.  Unfortunately, by the time the third season rolled around, the show and the characters had gotten a bit too cartoonish for an episode like this to have any resonance beyond, “Look at Horshack carrying a tambourine!”  The whole thing is just gets to be too silly for its own good, which is quite a statement when you consider how silly Welcome Back, Kotter was on a normal basis.

I understand that cults were a big concern in the 70s.  They’re a big concern now.  Unfortunately, this episode really only worked when Gabe was talking about his Cousin Lester.

 

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Renfield With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting later year’s Renfield, starring Nicolas Cage!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.16 “Tattoo”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, a pair of tattoo needles cause trouble!

Episode 1.16 “Tattoo”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)

Tommy Chen (Leonard Chow) is a first generation Chinese-American who has a gambling problem.  He owes several thousand dollars to the local gangsters and his grandfather, Lum Chen (Keye Luke), is no longer willing to help cover his costs.

However, Tommy thinks that he’s found the perfect solution for his problems.  He has two cursed tattoo needles.  All he has to do is tattoo something on someone’s body.  That tattoo will come to life and, as long as the tattooed person dies, Tommy will win whatever game that he’s playing.  With a gangster demanding that he pay his debts by the end of the night, Tommy is going from gambling den to gambling den, drawing tattoos and making money.  Unfortunately, he owes so much that almost every dollar that he makes is taken away from him as soon as he receives it.

And, of course, he also has Ryan, Micki, and Jack trying to track him down as well.

I had mixed feelings about this episode.  On the one hand, the tattoo needles are a totally impractical weapon because Tommy, who is a little bit on the small side, has to find a way to get his victims to lie still and not resist while he tattoos him.  His first victim is a half-conscious woman at an Opium den and that’s at least believable.  But, by the time Tommy is tattooing a gangster, you have to wonder if there isn’t a more practical way for him to make money.

On the other hand, the sight of the tattoos coming to life and crawling (or slithering) up their victims is definitely a frightening one.  One tattoo turns into a giant spider.  Another turns into a coral snake.  One tattoo turns into a fist that bursts out of someone’s chest.  (That made me jump.)  The needles may be impractical but if you have a thing about spiders and snakes (as I do), it really won’t matter.  They’re too frightening for the viewer to spend too much time worrying about the logic of how they actually work.

Fortunately, Ryan and Jack are able to recover the needles and use them to kill the latest tattoo before it can claim a victim.  Unfortunately for Tommy, he’s playing Russian roulette at the time.  Even more unfortunately for Micki, she’s standing close enough to get splattered by blood when Tommy’s gun turns out to have a bullet in the chamber.  I have to admit that I’ve never gotten the appeal of Russian roulette.  I’ve always assumed it must be a guy thing.  Myself, I see the gun being traded back and forth and I say, “Yikes!”

Next week, a cursed electric chair falls into the hands of a dentist …. AGCK!

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.14 “The Contender”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S Turner returns to the ring!

Episode 2.14 “The Contender”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

T.S. Turner meets Kevin Hart!

No, not that Kevin Hart.

Instead, the Kevin Hart in this show is a boxer and he’s played by an actor named Phillip Jarrett.  (Kevin Hart, I immediately, noticed was very handsome for someone who made his living getting punched in the face by professionals.  I checked with the imdb and I was not surprised to learn that Phillip Jarrett was a model before he went into acting.)  Kevin Hart is a contender for the championship but his trainer has vanished.  With the big fight coming up, Hart’s manager asks T.S. Turner to train him for the fight.

Kevin Hart turns out to be a boxer with an attitude.  He shows up at Decker’s Gym with his entourage and is miffed to discover that Turner is running late.  “What does T.S. stand for?” Hart demands to know, “Too Stupid?”

“Temporarily Sorry,” Turner says as he steps into the gym.

“Temporarily?”

“Yeah,” Turner growls, “I was sorry but now I’m not.”

Turner works hard to train Hart.  Or, at least, it appears that he works hard.  For the most part, we just see a montage of Hart doing physical stuff while Turner yells at him.  Despite Turner’s efforts, Hart doesn’t even seem to care about the fight.  He does care when someone takes a shot at him in the gym.  Pressured by Turner, Hart finally confesses that he agreed to take a dive.  He also says that all of his other fights were fixed as well.  That’s why his former trainer ran away.  He didn’t want to be involved with a boxer who was owned by the Canadian Mafia.

Turner doesn’t have any time for that attitude.  He tells Hart that he has the talent to win the fight on his own.  He also tells Hart that it’s time to fight like a man and win.  Inspired by Turner’s words, Hart does just that.  By the end of the show, Hart is the champ.  I imagine he’s got the mob after him now but oh well.  I mean, Sonny Liston reportedly upset the mob and he still managed to live a full and exciting life until his mysterious death at the age of 40.  So, I’m sure boxing’s Kevin Hart will be fine and maybe, some day, he’ll change his mind about hosting the Oscars.

The way to make watching this episode entertaining is to pretend that Mr. T was playing Clubber Lang and not T.S Turner.  Apparently, in an early draft of his script for Rocky Balboa, Sylvester Stallone wrote a scene in which it would be revealed the Lang changed his ways and became a preacher after losing his rematch with Rocky.  So, this episode of T and T — and really, the entire series — works best as Clubber Lang fan fiction.  As Rocky said at the end of Rocky IV, “Everybody can change!”

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix For The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, Robert Shaw, Walter Matthau, and Martin Balsam star in 1974’s The Taking of Pelham One Two Three!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is available on Prime!  See you there!